The purpose of this page is to provide an example of how I establish relationships with others, or should I say, how SPIRIT moves me to establish such and/or them to establish such relationships with me.

Warning: The following is in reverse chronological order with responses inline and indented. That may make it a bit difficult if you are used to reading things in chronological order. However, I find it better to keep such records in a manner that has the most recent information first and keeps related material together (responses immediately follow the information that triggered them). After all, is this not how our memory is constructed?

From: Wayne Hartman[SMTP:beyond@redshift.com]
Sent: Monday, March 30, 1998 2:51 PM
To: 'George A Lareau'
Subject: RE: Awareness=God

Namaste George!

Awareness = God. Let's see what that equation reveals:

151955511 = 704

G: I took a quick look at numerology once long ago and saw that there was something to it, but a numbers approach is beyond me. I never even learned all of my multiplication tables. Thanks to computers, I did succeed as a financial planner and I have a visual conception of quantitative relationships, but you are blowing me away here.

W: Hmm ... too bad, so much of my intuition gets triggered through the symbolic meanings of numbers. To me, it is a "spiritual language" just as real as any other language. Only, thus far, I have not found others who speak even close to the same dialect. :(

G: I don't understand your conclusions.

W: Neither does anyone else that I've encountered yet. Hmm ...

Awareness = 1/6/7/16/21/26/31/32/33

God = SOURCE (0) expressed through the Benefactor (74)

Hmm, the 7 vibrations or Rays grounded (4) in physical reality. Hadn't been moved to see it in that way before.

G: WHAT DO YOU SEE?

W: God equals SOURCE expressed via the SEVEN RAYS, grounded in PHYSICAL REALITY.

W: To me, this is an obvious truth. It comes through as DIRECT KNOWINGNESS.

Note that 74 is the sum of letters in my name [wayne ellis hartman = 23 + 21 + 30]

To me, numerology is a form of "intuitive" mathematics. It was a natural extension of my love for mathematics into the spiritual domain. The numbers have associated meanings. The calculations I make and the patterns that I am moved to see, reveal "hidden meaning" that to me is the spiritual or symbolic world of meaning that coexists with the physical one.

Let's see what happens in the ALL CAPS domain:

AWARENESS = GOD

1 23 1 18 5 14 5 19 19 = 7 15 4

Interesting, 15:The Devil expressed through the 7 Rays grounded (4) in physical reality.

How appropriate!!! LOL!!! This can also be 7 0 4, depending on whether "GOD" has a zero or the letter O in the middle. Fascinating!!!

G: LOL--?

W: (L)aughing (O)ut (L)oud! :)

W: Too much ego, tranforming god or God into GOD, and we are trapped into the vibration of 15:The Devil expressing through the 7 Rays grounded (4) in physical reality. This is exactly what happens when EGO too big for its britches and gets in our way.

G: Wayne, let me in on it.

W: By making the letter O a zero, we remove the confusion and express correctly as God again. :)

1/24/25/43/48/62/67/86/105 = 7/22/26

105 = 3 x 5 x 7. Note that 48 is in the exact middle of "AWARENESS", it is the sum for AWARE!

26 = 2 x 13. I keep seeing this with 13 vertically so that the 2 applies to both the 1 and 3 yielding 21 and 23 which just happen to be the vibrations of my first and middle names. Hmm ...

Such is how I PLAY, or should I say, how consciousness plays through me. :)

I'm curious as to what your full name, and birth time/date/location would reveal? My sense is that it may hold some keys as to how we are tied together ... and what purpose there is in us meeting and interacting at this time.

G: Please go ahead with my data:

George Arthur Lareau
756 975 192839 319513

W: 756 is a KEY number for me. It is quite interesting that your name starts with this.

W: Number of letters breaks out as 6-6-6. That's another number that arouses curiosity.

W: PMEI = 03 31 131 24 = 3 4 5 6

W: This is a very different breakout than my own. 6 5 3 3. Hmm, in fact, it is nearly reversed. The strongest number is in the I=Intuitive area, and is expressed in a manner that show that you care for humanity.

W: The Mental and Emotional sums are "physical numbers". In particular 4 in the mental area indicates that you are quite GROUNDED in how you express mentally.

From: George A Lareau[SMTP:SufiGeor@gopws.com]
Sent: Monday, March 30, 1998 1:27 PM
To: Wayne Hartman
Subject: Awareness=God

From: Wayne Hartman[SMTP:beyond@redshift.com]
Sent: Sunday, March 29, 1998 10:42 AM
To: 'George A Lareau'
Subject: RE: Life as a hermit

Namaste George!

My comments applied to your article plus the books Mind Blow 1 and 2. :)

The ideas and explanations were great for helping to provide clear understanding of what we experience. The explicit definition of terms was especially important and matched perfectly with what I have experienced. My disagreement was not with anything presented in the article or in your books. My disagreement was simply with the title: "Enlightenment Fully Explained".

Perhaps this comes from too much of a scientific focus early in my life. It seems that we came from opposite starting points. Your experiences with the lack of spirituality in religion very much match mine with the lack of spirituality in science. My sense is that we chose opposite extremes that led us back toward a "middle ground" that embodies the best of both.

My disagreement with "fully explained" comes from not seeing anything in the model that sufficiently explained the SOURCE of what I experience. I understand your aversion to the term SPIRIT ... but for me, this is indeed the source. Yes, it is still a large UNKNOWN and MYSTERY in the manner that I experience it ... and perhaps it shall always be thus.

G: The remaining mystery in my mind is the origin of awareness itself. Given awareness, my model of consciousness makes sense of everything else regarding our experience of reality. Awareness can be called spirit, but the word spirit is laden with religious claptrap that is non-essential and frequently distracting. Awareness is a simple, pure phenomenon that everyone knows first-hand. Spirit is the same thing, but shrouded in mystery and mythology. I find it easier to understand without that.

W: Is not the experience of awareness a mystery as well? While everyone has firsthand knowledge of awareness ... they do not as individuals have a "common" knowledge or experience of it. I have seen my own awareness = "what I know to be true", change tremendously over the past five years. However, I would not claim that I "know what is true for me, is true for all others as well." YES, it is true in potential for everyone ... but awareness at a personal level is what we have realized = made real for "I".

G: We need to differentiate between awareness, which is a capacity, and the experience that passes through awareness, which is content. The experience of awareness is that only. It is experiencing awareness without experiential content.

W: Understand. However, we experience primarily to trigger us to become aware of more and more of WHOM THAT WE ARE! The "meaning" that we assign to the experiences is the KEY. That is where we exercise our Free Will. Personally, I have reached a point where I KNOW that other parts of ME are generating the experiences that I am having ... especially those that are triggering the awakenings, the major jumps in awareness that I have experienced.

W: My "attention" and ability to focus is not fixed ... it is growing in a manner that permits me to see MORE and MORE in everything that I experience. Further, my awareness, my knowingness of WHOM THAT I AM ... is expanding tremendously in this process.

You show how the latest discoveries of science have indeed revealed a physical or vibration basis for much that has only come via metaphysics in the past. However, the mechanism is dry to me without a corresponding expanded metaphysical context to accompany it. To me, this is the "spiritual" context. Perhaps the dryness to me comes from not picturing the mechanisms in a manner that makes them ALIVE. Your understanding of vibration may include this ... however, mine is far more limited coming from a background in EE. For instance, the electronic mechanism that permits motion pictures to appear on a television screen is a lifeless process to me. The MEANING, the REALITY of experiences that is conveyed via this medium comes from the great creativity of those who create the MOVING IMAGES that are presented.

G: Awareness is primitive, primal reality. It is not complex in and of itself. Complexity arises because awareness exists. Awareness is alive, and nothing that arises is alive without it. Mechanistic descriptions of the complex come after the fact of awareness.

W: YES, I agree. But all things that are alive GROW and CHANGE as they experience their aliveness.

G: What about electrons? Or don't you admit that electrons are alive? Consider Bell's Theorem and its virtually inescapable conclusion that electrons possess awareness.

W: YES, the electrons are alive. But, they are not STATIC. The part that science sees does not say anything about how the electrons EXPERIENCE being parts of the greater structures that they enable to be created by how they LIVE.

W: In these terms, the "awareness" of the electron grows with every experience it has ... and with every role that it chooses to play.

In a similar manner, the new scientific discoveries provide theories for the medium through which awareness creates and experiences reality. They do not say anything about the creative intelligence that is USING this medium for its expression and experience. It is this that creative intelligence that I call the ONE CONSCIOUSNESS, SPIRIT, ... and other such terms. It is more than awareness ... it is the source that is creating both awareness and the experiences that permit awareness to grow.

Yes, the mechanism may be through morphogenic fields and the like. But, truth lies beyond the mechanism. The KEY that seems to be missing involves the motive force for how awareness grows ... and what is it to grow and evolve into ...

G: Awareness doesn't grow. It is a static reality and itself is the source of everything else. Creative intelligence is dependent on awareness; it cannot be the other way around; intelligence presupposes awareness.

W: Hmm ... Is this not a chicken and egg problem. Is there not intelligence involved in generating the experiences that we have in such a way that permits our limited, focussed awareness to grow in its intended direction? Do you not feel a knowingness that you are here for a PURPOSE, even through you may not know what that purpose is in specific terms? Is it only to experience whatever happens?

W: Hmm ... I don't buy the concept of AWARENESS = STATIC REALITY. My experience of awareness is extremely dynamic ... the opposite of what I would consider to be "static".

G: Your experience is dynamic. That is content.

W: Please elaborate. The experiencer that I observe, and the observer of the experience, and everything about the process of LIFE is DYNAMIC. I am not in touch with any part that is STATIC.

Points into lines into interacting lines and their associated vibrations ... is indeed the path through which that awareness has experienced over time. But, this is simply an explanation of the history of awareness. It says nothing of where this is all leading. It doesn't permit understanding what the next major leap will be ... and the next ... and the next ...

G: This is the bummer, Wayne. As far as I can determine, there is no purpose other than experience. Without complexity, awareness has nothing to experience. If we look at awareness as a pure force, and then look at the realities that exist in complexity, we can conclude that awareness seeks experience, and it doesn't seem to make a bit of difference what that experience is as long as it is something new. The next major leap will be something new, a tautology without root values.

W: Hmm ... everywhere I look, I see signs that experience is being created as an intricately woven play. There are too many synchronicities, too many patterns embedded in the reality we experience for me to even begin to accept that it is not being created by some intelligence, some greater consciousness of which I have very limited first hand awareness. I call this SOURCE, the ONE CONSCIOUSNESS.

G: I agree. But you are speaking of experience patterns. Every possible experience pattern is out there. We become aware of those that our attention tunes in to, and which then pass through our awareness.

W: Perhaps. But there is a REASON, a PURPOSE in the pattern of the choices that we make and the meaning of the resulting experience and in HOW our conscious experience of awareness changes and grows as a result of all of this.

My intuition is moving me to express and experience in new ways. There is a major context shift from ME to WE that is occurring. I have no past experience to help with understanding where this will lead. I am excited by the possibilities however ... and open to where it will take me ... or US.

More below within the context of what you wrote.

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!

At this moment, a mantram from earlier yoga training entered my head:

I AM GOD, GOD IS ME, WE ARE ONE!

Where does GOD ... or SPIRIT fit into your awareness and experience now?

G: Awareness is God. It is fundamentally undifferentiated, present in all and everything. Our sense of having an individual spirit results from the mechanism attention, which restricts our use of awareness to a limited amount of experience. This becomes evident from the enlightenment experience, in which limitation, attention, is inactive, and where only awareness exists in a vast void. We do all share the same awareness; it is our individual attention that creates our sense of individual identity.

G: Therefore, we agree--I am God, God is Me, We Are One.

W: But, is not our attention changing over time as well. Are we not consciously growing and becoming more and more aware of WHOM THAT WE ARE?

G: Attention and what attention pays attention to are, again, different. Attention is a capacity or ability. It's like a TV set, which is able to tune in to frequency waves, but is not those waves.

W: OK ... but WHO or WHAT is choosing the channel from moment to moment, and further, WHAT generated the programming that potentially includes all possibilities. Experience and meaning come from the PATH that we follow and the resulting awareness that comes from using free will to determine the MEANING of that path to ourselves and to CONSCIOUSNESS in a larger context as well.

G: What we are doing here is getting our concepts straight. The channels that our attention tunes into are selected because of resonance. The resonance occurs between experience pattern fields that surround and pass through our consciousness system as infinity loops, and experience patterns that are outside of us in the field of infinite possibilities.

The rules of resonance from physics apply here:

1. Both the field in our loops and the field outside must be capable of resonating on the same frequency.

2. The amplitude of one's resonance must be strong enough to stimulate resonance in the outside field.

3. Our strong resonance must be directed continuously until it stimulates resonance in the outside field.

Who or what is choosing the outside field? The more we accumulate experience patterns of a certain type, the stronger the amplitude of such fields becomes. Therefore, the more resonance we experience with outside fields of the same frequency.

Most of what is out there is chaos. It is where frequency waves intersect and form fields that we are able to find meaningful patterns, provided we have fields in our loops capable of resonating with them.

Try: Meaning = Resonance

What generated the field of infinite possibilities? Starting from scratch, which means starting with a universe containing nothing other than awareness, we have awareness that is aware, aware of awareness, and aware of its own existence. With the mysterious advent of awareness came this multiplicity of factors. Multiplicity is all that is needed to generate more multiplicity. This process is what I describe in my story "The Amazing Life of an Antimaterial Dot" in my book Mind Blow number 2.

From: George A Lareau[SMTP:SufiGeor@gopws.com]
Sent: Saturday, March 28, 1998 11:30 AM
To: Wayne Hartman Subject: Life as a hermit

Hello, Wayne!

I too live as an (urban) hermit, consumed with developing my understanding of how we work and who we are.

W: So, I have found another kindred spirits. It is interesting ... I've been expressing at Beyond Imagination for three years, looking for kindred spirits, but not finding them ... and now, within the course of a few weeks, three have entered my life. I guess the time is right now. :)

I sincerely appreciate your kind comments about my article on enlightenment. Please share your areas of disagreement with me.

I and we. It is a holographic universe we live in. We are everywhere now, but focused at a point. We are interconnected with everyone and everything, yet stand in a sense of isolated aloneness. Aloneness is a result of having attention, which limits our awareness of experience to something manageable. Enlightenment is an escape from the confines of attention, as well as from the flow of experience.

W: By this definition, I have no conscious experience of "enlightenment". I have much experience of altered states of awareness in which the nature of attention and the nature of the flow of experience are very different than the normal day to day experience. So I see a variety of awareness, with as much range as light in a spectrum. I guess that I am seeking a theory of consciousness, a theory of the nature of awareness and the nature of reality creation, that can account for my experience, including my experience of my own awareness.

So we are I and we at the same time.

W: Yes, this is indeed a TRUTH. However, for me, it appears this truth is a VAST DOMAIN of awareness that I have yet to reach and experience therefrom.

When we look at the purpose(s) of our life, we begin with the obvious--experience. We are conscious organizations designed specifically to experience. It really doesn't make much difference what we experience, provided that our experience is unique, which it is inevitably. From there, it is all up to us. At the end of a lifetime, the question we face is: did I experience enough this time around?

W: Hmm ... this feels to be only a partial truth to me. It begs the question of what is it that asks this question ... and is responsible for creating the reality that we experience. Our choice seems to come not so much in what we experience, but in the meaning and resulting awareness that we realize as a result of HOW we experience. There is a strong inner sense that there is a MISSION that I came to perform ... in addition to having an opportunity for experiencing and growing in awareness.

Your comment that you feel you have been training for positions that don't exist is familiar to me. But we cannot judge our lives by the positions we hold. Position is always relative to others, which is a different question from accumulation of personal experience. I think you are on the right track when you assume that you are being groomed for a position that doesn't exist yet. Our world is changing so rapidly that many new positions will develop, particularly in the general area of human potential. So I suggest that you design your own position, not look for something ready-made.

W: INDEED! You'll see from my writings that such is my understanding as well.

Also, you can unload a lot of grief by eliminating the word "spirit" from your vocabulary. It is a prescientific superstition that is outmoded by more precise understandings available from our sciences. I use "frequency waves" or "wave fields," since these can be understood and visualized with some accuracy, and in fact represent scientific truth. Have you read The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra? It is an excellent book for uniting science and metaphysics into a common framework.

W: Hmm ... I understand where you are coming from, but I have as much "distaste" for scientific truth as you have for spiritual truth. My sense is that we truly need a BALANCE between the two. The spiritual side permits the direct expression of truth through intuition. The scientific side provides the means for evaluating which intuitions are USEFUL and valid in our world. Understanding that leads to increased awareness requires BOTH. At this point in time, I am moved to the intuitive side of this balance. Balance does not mean evenness or lack of variation. It can also be a wave with an amplitude. We are moved to express and experience in a manner consistent with where we are on this wave.

G: I am fascinated by our opposite approaches. My disappointments with religion and spiritual paths have left me with a bitter taste, as science has for you. You are exactly right that balance is needed. We are in opposite halves of the yin-yang circle, realizing that it really is a wave form dividing the halves, realizing that the wave form is flowing and thereby shifting the dominance of the halves back and forth, and realizing that the circle itself is the important reality and not its halves.

W: YES!!! Very well put. My sense is that this is the very reason we have come together NOW! We are both in a position to truly REALIZE this now. It is time for a new manifestation of the interaction of consciousness to APPEAR in the Matter-Energy-Space-Time Continuum.

G: It is time. And I am so very happy to be alive at this time, and to be living in America, and to be engaged in helping the manifestation along.

Let's continue some dialogue, Wayne. Thank you again for sharing so much with me.

W: INDEED! THANK YOU AS WELL!!! I look forward to a continuing interaction of our two consciousnesses. It seems that there is much we can learn from one another.

From: Wayne Hartman[SMTP:beyond@redshift.com]
Sent: Saturday, March 28, 1998 9:58 AM
To: 'George A Lareau'
Subject: RE: Enlightenment Explained

Namaste George!

THANK YOU FOR CONTACTING ME!

I found your material to be some of the best that I have ever encountered. I don't fully agree with "Enlightenment Clearly Explained". However, your model of how consciousness works for us as individuals is indeed one of the clearest explanations that I have ever encountered.

In the past several weeks, my own realizations have led me to jump off the cliff of the known once again ... from a ME into a WE perspective. My Beyond Imagination writings have always shown this to be the overall direction ... but it was not truly a conscious realization, a knowingness until a couple days ago.

Please see http://www.redshift.com/~beyond/bbquote3.htm

I think you'll find it interesting. It is the latest of my writings documenting my present state of awareness.

An Excerpt from that page:

[start of excerpt]

21 - Clearly, I haven't lived a normal life, and my abilities are far from average. My sense is that in such matters, no abilities are created except that there be a use for them. Special abilities imply special uses to fill specific purposes. All of my life I have been in training for positions that don't exist in my world. Yet, all of this training has been directly or indirectly guided by spirit. There must be unseen positions out there, be they spiritual or otherwise, that will come into existence soon. How soon, I do not know, this will be spirits choice in accord with the Plan.

Big smile. Indeed, we have been training for such positions. Yet, our very existence here and now is proof that the training has been worthwhile. Our very beingness is defined by the service that we are able to provide. At this point, we are not even aware of those whom we serve ... nor does it matter. We do as we moved to do. We express whom that we are to degree that is possible HERE and NOW. Our needs are few ... a willing vehicle through which to express is all that we ask.

We have no expectations. We ask only that those served by our expression in turn find ways to serve others to balance what they have received. Such is how abundance is manifest in this world. We create it by the services that we willingly provide to all in need of what we offer.

We do what we are moved to do, whenever we are moved by SPIRIT to express. What is expressed by us belongs to SPIRIT, and as such is freely given to all who are moved by what we do.

We have no separate identity of our own.

Interesting ... that statement brought me back suddenly. My state is one of puzzlement. I'm not sure why it struck me in that manner,but it did. How does one exist without separate identity? All my life I have been a Hermit. As such my primary experience has been as a separate identity. Yet, here, I am confronted with the statement that the BEST of what is able to express through me has no such identity awareness.

The curiosity is extreme. There is a deep longing from within, an awareness that such is what I have been in search of throughout my life. In a very real way, I have been trapped within the confines of the identity that is wayne / Wayne / WAYNE. But, this is not my reality. Yes, it is what I have experienced ... but only as whom that I AM.

At this moment, this is no longer sufficient. Yes, I AM whom that I AM. But, this is but a fragment of the greater expression of whom that WE are. I now know this in a manner that I have not realized before.

I AM THAT I AM is a partial truth. It is a necessary step on the path. However, it does not capture the nature of the I AM. It does not define the even greater context in which I exist.

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! This is only a partial truth as well. It confirms that the I AM within me, the SPIRIT within me is the same as that within you. However, it does not capture the nature of the whom that we are. Further, it does not address the ONE CONSCIOUSNESS from which all such WE's spring forth.

WE ARE WHOM THAT WE ARE seems to be the next level of awareness. Here, the need arises to see the relationship of the individuals that constitute this WE. The sense of I gives way to the collective WE, and the synergy that arises from the parts combining into a greater whole.

Further still, WE ARE ALL THAT IS, and WE ARE THE ONE CONSCIOUSNESS, and ...

At this point, let's take it one step at a time. Right now, I am at the transition step from ME to WE, from the I AM, to the WE ARE realization. I've had very brief glimpses of this in the past ... but HERE and NOW there is a strong sense of going beyond whom that I AM to experience more.

[end of excerpt]

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!

LOVE,

Wayne

From: George A Lareau[SMTP:SufiGeor@gopws.com]
Sent: Friday, March 27, 1998 10:15 AM
To: beyond@redshift.com
Subject: Enlightenment Explained

The experience of enlightenment is simple to state. It is the experience of awareness only, awareness that is aware of nothing at all except the existence of awareness itself.

During the experience of awareness, the thought-processing mind is empty, body awareness is lost, there is no feeling, all reality disappears. There is nothing in the imagination, there is nothing anywhere. It is an experience of nothing, of the void.

The key understanding that results from this experience of pure nothing is that one is still alive even when everything is gone. One realizes that one's existence does not depend on anything except awareness itself. One realizes that awareness is the primal reality, the permanent core of ourselves.

The enlightenment experience makes many things immediately clear. It is clear that one's existence does not depend on anything except awareness. This brings complete relief and liberation. It is clear that life is awareness, and not what awareness experiences.

So the body, the mind, the physical universe as well as dream universes, feelings, knowledge, are all non-essential to being alive. Fear and guilt vanish because awareness is beyond harm and experience is not part of one's being.

It is clear that all experience comes from outside of oneself, that experience merely flows through awareness, and that one is not responsible for the helpless act of experiencing one's experience.

In short, this state of freedom solves every problem by eliminating it, and provides a completely unburdened peace. This is so attractive, so magnetic, that it cannot be actually forgotten, only displaced by the usual contents and concerns of life.

Before the enlightenment experience, one has no idea of life without content. Rather, one's awareness is flooded with content, with all of its concerns and hang-ups.

It should be noted that, after the initial impact of the enlightenment experience wears off, it can be set aside and one can easily slip back into one's old lifestyle patterns.

Yet, after the enlightenment experience, one has a yearning for the remembered peace and freedom of the void. This yearning gradually influences one to decrease the amount of experience in awareness so that there is room in awareness for void. This becomes a balancing act between being aware of void and being aware of experience. The less experience one is aware of, the more void one is aware of, and the more free and peaceful life becomes.

With too much void and too little experience, however, one becomes an idiot, and so there is the need for learning to balance between void and experience.

With enough void in the balance, there is nothing in life that can consume one. Life is fluid and changeable. Life becomes more like a movie than a trap. More accurately, life becomes a group dream.

Yearning for the void influences in the direction of keeping awareness empty of experience. Balancing involves deliberate efforts to remember specific things out of practical necessity. The more experiential content there is in awareness, the less room there is for the void. The more void there is in awareness, the less experience there is, and the less important or consequential experience becomes.

Note: This copyright only applies to the Enlightenment Clearly Explained passage above.