5 March 2008

I can't remember when the last musing came forth.  It has been that long.  But, today is a special day.  It marks the 15th birthday of the Beyond Imagination expression.  Wow!  Can it really be 15 years already?  On the one hand, it seems like yesterday.  On the other hand, it is literally 30 percent of my life.  Last night was special as well.  At around 11:00 PM, I had a powerful experience of merging with a light body.  Basically, it was there near me and I just merged into it starting from my head and shoulders and extending through my torso and feet.  I had never experienced anything like it or read of anything like it.  The experience was empowering.  It was as if the weight of the world was lifted off of me.  It was freeing and expansive.  I don't know how else to describe it.  I don't know how long the experience lasted, but it seemed like many minutes.  The first thought in my mind was to figure out what day it was.  I checked my watch to see if it was the 5th yet, knowing the significance of this day.  Either way, it was definitely a spiritual birthday present, though it arrived a few hours early.

Why have I not been moved to express for so long?  I don't really know.  Following the record activity in 2002 and 2003, we hit a dry spell again that lasted over four years this time.  Sometimes that happens.  I don't know why.  It just does.  It doesn't help that I've been so busy at work.  But, that is no excuse for not expressing.  There are still 2-3 hours per day of free time.  I'm just not motivated to come here to express anymore.  Part of that is from a lack of feedback.  I expected that the Beyond Imagination expression would have reached many more people by now.  Reading the works from 2002 and 2003, I was highly enthusiastic and was expecting so much, most of which did not come to pass.  I doubt that a dozen Beyond Imagination books have been sold, and there are nine published books.  I read the books often and get a lot from them.  But, they are clearly not reaching others.  The numbers of page hits at the Beyond Imagination site are not growing dramatically either.  Perhaps I have deceived myself regarding the applicability of the expression to others.  Perhaps it is indeed for my eyes only.  Though every sinew and fiber of my being speaks otherwise.  I simply can't believe that consciousness would go to all this trouble simply for me.  That seems to violate the very essence of elegance.  There is something special about this kind of expression.  And, that specialness can be conveyed to others.  It is simply a matter of getting the word out.  But, is that for me to do?  Is it not enough for me to create the works that spirit would create through me?  Why should I have to disseminate them as well?  Why should I have to find the appropriate audience for these works?  Are the works meant to have an impact in my lifetime?  Good questions.  However, I don't know where to find the answers to them.

My, it feels good to be engaged in this expression once again.  I knew something was missing in my life.  When I am engaged in this stream of consciousness expression, it is as if nothing else in the world exists.  I am focused in the moment, on the here and now.  That is where my life is to be lived.  It is curious that my memory is as poor as it is.  However, when you operate in the present, you call forth all that you need in order to act into the moment.  Once the decision is made, what got you there is no longer important.  This is not true for everyone, however it is true for me.  Some people are planners.  Some people are multitaskers.  That is not my way.  I loosely prioritize what needs to be done and then focus intently on one thing at a time, often switching contexts as necessary to handle realtime interrupts.  If I don't have a context to operate within, then I'm lost.  Though, at the same time, I enjoy exploring the unknown realms of consciousness.  There is something about stream of consciousness expression that puts me in the flow of something that is greater than I AM.  Perhaps that is why I like it so much.  Perhaps that is why I do it so much.  Even in my work, I give my intuition a wide berth, ultimately trusting her more than my reason.  That is just how it is.  That is how I choose to live my life.

So, where do we go next?  What do we do next?  It seems that there is a new age waiting to be born.  It is time to induce the labor, and begin the birthing process.  But, what of all the dissent and turmoil in the world?  That will depart on its own in due time.  It is for us to build the foundations for a new world to quicken this process.  I say US, but who is part of that?  Clearly me.  But, who else constitutes WE?  I've been asking that for 15 years and have yet to find the answer.  That is OK.  Everything is unfolding perfectly in accord with the plan of consciousness.  In that timing, what is a year, or a decade, or even a century?  Do what you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it.  That is the constant admonition of spirit to me.  It works so long as it is spirit herself that is doing the moving in our lives.  For this to happen, we have to be open to it.  We have to quiet ourselves and allow spirit to come into our lives in whatever way is appropriate for us.  For me, that is through writing via this very expression.  In general, it is through something creative that you are moved to do ... something that stretches you beyond what you know yourself to be.  This could be anything.  Though, it will generally align with your gifts.  Each of us is unique.  Each of us has something to share.  Find what that is for you, develop it, and find ways to share it.  Through such sharing, the world will become a better place for all of us.

March 5, 65 days into the year since this is a leap year.  65 is the King of Pentacles = Unlimited Abundance.  Is that what is in store for us as we enter the 16:The Tower year of the Beyond Imagination expression.  We'll see soon enough.  The year is passing by quickly.  Though, in this case, we are still in the first day of the new year.  2008 is a 28:Man with the World in His Hand year.  It will be interesting to see what this brings.  We have 34 days left until my 50th birthday.  I expected something dramatic to happen in my Easter birthday year.  Perhaps last nights experience was the dramatic transformation I've been waiting for.  Yes, there was a sense of being spiritually reborn last night.


6 March 2008

Another day in which we are moved to express.  This time I'm getting an earlier start so we'll see what comes forth.  We never really know.  That makes this stream of consciousness expression somewhat of a surprise.  Here, we are dealing with the unknown.  We are allowing something to flow forth automatically and effortlessly.  And, we are ever amazed by what is able to be expressed in this manner.  There is no way to train for this.  It is simply something that you do ... trusting the very processes of consciousness as she expresses through us.  This is a humbling activity, but it is also ennobling.  There is so much that we are capable of when we allow spirit to work through us.  It is as if a host of invisible helpers are engaged in the work that we are doing.  And the results reflect this.  I've been taking a course on teaming for the past three days.  With the exception of this endeavor where I team with consciousness herself, I have very limited involvement in teams.  My basic nature is strongly opposite of being social.  My primary mode of dealing with conflict is avoidance, with accommodation as a close second.  In general, I avoid people unless I have to deal with them.  Yes, that means that I spend a lot of my time alone, both at work and at home.  That is just how it is, and how it has always been for me.  The isolation is self-imposed however.  You might say that I prefer my own company.  Small talk bores me.  Actually, most talk bores me with the exception of the dialog in movies and some TV shows.  One of my least favorite activities at work is meetings.  Phone calls come a close second.  I'm definitely not a talker.  I don't know how many times my wife has complained of my silence.  Also, other than here, I don't really share my life with anyone.  That too is just the way that it is and has always been and we're only a month away from turning 50.  I have to ask if this is ever going to change?  Do I want it to change?  My immediate answer is no.  However, there is some part of me that knows that I am missing something by restricting myself in this way.  At the same time, my ways have allowed me to develop the relationship with consciousness that allows all of this to be expressed.  And, I consider this expression to be the crowning achievement of my life.  There is not a single thing that I have done at work that strikes me as being memorable.  Don't get me wrong.  I work hard and accomplish a lot.  But, the long term impact of this work is just not there.

This expression however is an entirely different story.  Each musing something new is revealed.  And much of it blows me away ... not only when it comes forth, but every time that I read it.  How can that be?  I have no other experience with such expression.  There has been channeled material that comes close, especially the Seth books by Jane Roberts.  But, this is more immediate and less esoteric.  Seth can get pretty deep.  Though, his material seems to be right on.  I like to think that the Beyond Imagination expression can take you on a journey of consciousness that leads you to increased awareness of whom that you are.  That is as high of a service as I believe that I can provide.  However, I don't have sufficient feedback to know if it really provides this service or not.  All that I know is that this is what I am moved to express and this is what I am moved to share.  That is enough for me.  That is enough to give my life meaning, greater meaning than I have ever known before.  Something magic happened fifteen years prior to yesterday.  Consciousness broke through into my life in a way that had never happened before.  I became something more than I had ever been, and it changed me forever.  Looking back, what difference has it truly made?  There are several million words of expression that did not exist prior to that day.  However, I am probably the only one who has read most of these words.  What does that say?  Clearly, consciousness is prolific.  However, though I have been moved to share the expression by creating and maintaining a Beyond Imagination website, and by self-publishing nine books, it is not clear that much communication and sharing has actually occurred.  That is OK.  I did what I was moved to do.  It is for the universe to determine the consequences of our actions.  That does not mean that I am not responsible.  It is just that my nature is not to push to get my way.  I'd rather let nature take her course.  Consciousness has a plan and knows what is right in any situation.  Our role is to play our part and do what we are moved to do to the best of our ability.  What happens as a result is not in our hands, though often we try to reach certain outcomes.  For some, this seems to work.  They are able to set goals, and work to achieve those goals.  That is not my way.  And, that does not seem to be spirits way.  Life simply unfolds ... yet it unfolds in accord with an overall plan, general though it may be.  How do we know when we are acting in accord with this plan of consciousness.  We simply know.  We find our place as naturally as a star is positioned in the heavens.  When we operate with a pure heart, the course of action is obvious, there are no real choices involved.  It is as if our life is destined.  Then where does free will fit in?  We still have to choose to do what we know to be right.  Sometimes that is easy, at other time that is difficult.  In general, however, when we go with the flow, when we allow consciousness to work through us, our lives truly work.  And, we are touched by a sense of the miraculous.

There is nothing that is too big for spirit to do.  There is no obstacle that is too high for spirit to overcome.  Spirit is vast, and her ways are strong but subtle.  She does not force herself on us.  She waits patiently for us to choose to allow her to come forth in our lives.  We do this by inviting her in and by offering our talents in her service.  Yes, this takes a leap of faith.  No, we will not be possessed.  Sometimes faith is more powerful than reason.  This is one of those times.  And, I don't mean faith in a religious sense.  Here, we are speaking of faith in a spiritual sense.  We are all spirit incarnate.  We have been since we came into this existence and in many prior existences.  Further, there is one consciousness that animates us all.  We are all part of the same great SPIRIT.  As spirit, there is no place for less than or more than.  These are judgments that we make in error when we look at others and the world with various biases.  They have no basis in fact.  Yes, there are differences, even vast differences.  But, variety is the spice of life, as they say.  Differences can have greater or lesser utility under various circumstances.  It is important for everyone to have a sense of whom that they are.  That means knowing our strengths and how to apply them in service.  Ideally, our work should employ these strengths since it results in everything being done better or more effectively.  It does not make sense to force individuals into situations that put them at a disadvantage by playing to their weaknesses.  But, who is responsible for helping to ensure this does not happen?  And, why are we not given the tools needed to know ourselves in the education process?  To me, this is downright criminal.  It is not that there is a dearth of tools out there.  There is a book, Who Are You, that discusses 101 tools/techniques for categorizing various aspects about people.  It is very revealing.  Most people have only been exposed to a handful of these.  I would offer that by the time we finish high school, we should have a solid understanding of who we are, what we are good at, and what we are not good at.  Knowing thyself should be the #1 objective of school.  The #2 objective should be learning how to learn.  The #3 objective should be preparing us to be of service in some way.   It is not clear that the education system focuses on any of these.  Why is that?  How can what seems so obvious to me not be obvious to others?  In general this is true not only about education, but about nearly every aspect of our lives.  The #1 question should be how can we serve one another?  We do this not only as individuals but as organizations.  The organizations might be governments, companies, schools, stores, restaurants, churches, sports teams, or social groups of any kind.  It is all about providing service.  Unfortunately, profit motives can get in the way of this, forcing decisions that provide less than optimal and sometimes less than acceptable goods or services.  It is not clear how to get beyond this without major changes to the rules in the economic game.  The rules determine what behavior we reward and what behavior we punish.  Somehow, we need to reward sharing and cooperation far more than we have ever done before.  At some point, we need to become a classless society.  That doesn't necessarily mean that everyone is equal and has the same things.  Yes, they are equal, and everyone should live ini abundance.  It is just difficult to see how to make that so at present.  Part of the problem is that we have advertisers pushing us to consume, consume, consume regardless of the cost.  We don't have an attitude of cooperation in ensuring that there are sufficient goods and services to meet all needs and that there is an efficient distribution mechanism supporting this.  As far as I know, we don't even have people working on this.  Why?  Surely there are others out there that realize that something is inherently flawed and there must be a better way.


10 March 2008
 
Took a few days off for the weekend as usual.  One of these days I'm going to start musing from home again as well.  That's OK.  We're here now, ready to express what consciousness would express through us.  We never know exactly what that will be until we allow it to flow forth.  That too is OK.  Consciousness has a way of moving us to express what must be expressed in the moment.  In this endeavor, there is no future and no past ... there is only now.  That is the way that I like it.  There is a sense of spontaneity in this, an enthusiasm and energy that I am addicted too.  Yes, that is the right word ... addicted.  But, not in any negative way.  It is more like the air that we breathe, or the fluids that we drink, or the food that we eat.  Yes, it is that fundamental to my existence.  It wasn't always this way.  But it has been for 30 percent of my existence.  That is a lot of time to express.  Some years have been much more prolific than others.  1993 and 1994, then 1998, then 2002 and 2003. and perhaps now in 2008 again.  It seems that the cycle turns every 4 to 5 years.  I don't know why ... it just does.  In between these highs, there can be lulls with fewer than a dozen musings in a whole year versus a dozen musings in two weeks.  That too is OK.  What needs to come forth, comes forth in its own timing.  Besides, it doesn't seem to matter much.  There is a limited audience for this expression.  Or, at least, there has been a limited audience to date.  How do we change that?  How do we get this expression in the hands of those who are meant to be moved by it?  Is that something that is in my job jar to do?  I would like to see it happen.  I believe that many of the ideas herein are of a nature that they could change the world in positive ways.  This is by far the greatest work that I do in my life.  Nothing else even comes close.

Then, why is this not the work that I do to make a living?  Good question.  It seems that our spiritual work should be this, it should be our livelihood.  But, what is the service that I provide here?  What is the service that spirit provides through me?  And, if it is spirit doing the work, then why should it not be free.  I am perfectly capable of holding down a job to earn an income.  Were we not directed to "render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and unto God what is God's".  I would live a life of spirit.  But, I don't want to get bogged down in how to turn that to my financial gain.  The reward for living a life of spirit is abundance in all realms ... physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.  However, we have to live the life first, and then the reward will come as a natural byproduct.  That is just the way it is.  We have to invest ourself in something greater than ourself.  That doesn't mean sacrificing who we are in any way.  But it does mean being open and honest in how we conduct ourselves and being willing to share whom that we are with others.  For those of us that are introverts, and extreme ones at that, this can be difficult.  But there are ways to share without having to be extroverted about it.  This very expression is one such way.  My hope is that it will find its way into hearts where it will have meaning.  Via my example, I hope to show you what one consciousness can do.  I hope to introduce you to a world that you never knew you never knew.  This is Wayne's World.  Welcome to my world.

Clearly, I am on a high today.  There have been several days like this of late.  That is fortunate.  Generally, at such times I am moved to come here to express or to read what has been expressed before.  It is always new to me, no matter how many times I have read it before.  I don't know why that is.  You might consider it to be a defect of memory.  And perhaps it is.  I see it as a feature of how my mind functions ... a feature that my be one of the reasons that this expression can come forth as it does.  My mind needs to be blank to allow this communication to come forth.  I don't know why that is.  There is something about the immediacy of the expression that comes to mind.  There is a great aspect of trust involved, trust in the unseen realms of consciousness and how she expresses.  Why else would I engage in doing this for literally thousands of hours in my life?  How many people do anything other than watch TV or talk for that long?  Yet, I would not complain.  I would not take even an hour of it back.  That is how important I consider what we have expressed.  Yes, it is enough to fill nine books.  It would have been even more if I had not stopped generating them because so few people were buying them.  So yes, my sharing has conditions.  I don't ask to be paid directly for what I have been moved to share.  Nearly all of it is available at the Beyond Imagination site.  I only ask that those who find the work to be of value, decide what value it has, and find a way to share of their goods/services with others in fair exchange for that value.  The bottom line is to never take more than you give.   In doing so, we create a surplus and if we distribute this surplus efficiently to those who need it, the whole world is better off.  I speak in simple terms.  I am a communist at heart, believing in the basic contract from each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs.  No country has even built the right infrastructures to enact this contract.  That doesn't mean that it can't be done.  However, my sense is that it requires an enlightened society to manifest this.  Though, that is what the Aquarian Age brings, an enlightened society ... so, this contract may be closer to our grasp than ever before.  I can hardly wait!

Most people think of religion when we talk of spiritual things.  And yes, there can be spiritual things found in most religions.  However, there are spiritual things found elsewhere as well.  It is hard to experience some of the wonders of creation and not be awestruck by their magnificence.  I'm thinking of places like Yosemite, Sequoia, Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon ... and the other National Parks in this country.  There is a profound sense of peace and reverence in these natural tabernacles.  Yes, indeed spirit moves through these lands.  Some might be similarly impressed by some of the major cities on Earth, though these pale to me by comparison.  Then again, crowds and crowded conditions are not my thing.  The spiritual can be found anywhere, even in the very place where you sit and stand.  Literally, it is all around us, even within us.  There is no place and no time where spirit is not present.  Though, it takes a major leap of faith to recognize here and start to do her bidding.  This requires letting go of the sense of being in charge of our life and allowing something greater to take hold and move us.  At least, such is how it has been in my life.  I can't believe that I am alone.


11 March 2008

Another day to muse, this time from home for a change.  That is the first time that I've done this this year.  Looking at my files, I was surprised that I mused at least 25 times last year.  There may have been more because I muse on different computers.  That is a far cry from the 300 plus in 2002 and 2003.  But, it is also more than the 6-10 that I have had in particularly lean years.  Oh well.  What must be expressed will be expressed.  Consciousness will see to that.  I can only do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it.  That is always enough.  What are we moved to do next?  We never really know until it happens.  Though, there is a sense that I welcome change now in a way that I have never done before.  What results from that will manifest soon enough.  It always does in my life.

I am anxious, thinking about what may come.  But, my mind is characteristically blank as well.  It is blank a lot.  That is good.  I believe that the blankness actually facilitates this expression.  There is something about immediately forgetting what comes forth that allows this stream of consciousness to go on as it does.  How can I know that?  I just know what I experience.  I have to re-read what comes forth to make it present in my mind.  And then, it only lasts while I hold onto it.  And even then, it is still fleeting.  Fortunately, there is a record that I can go back to whenever I so choose.  That is the prime benefit of capturing this expression in this manner.  Yes, even if it is for my eyes only, it is well worth it.  Though, even as I say that, I can't help feeling that the expression could serve others and perhaps the world as well.  I would be a world transformer.  Yes, me.  One who has few, if any, friends and at most a few dozen acquaintances.  How can that be?  How can I live such an isolated existence and dream to be a world transformer?  Perhaps that is the irony of whom that I am.  It doesn't matter why I am as I am anymore.  What does matter is whether the way I am has utility in allowing me to be who I would be and do what I would do.  If not, it is time to change.  There is a saying to the effect that: only a fool believes that he will produce a different outcome doing the same things in the same ways.  It seems that I have got in a rutt.  I've been there for awhile.  And, I've been there at multiple times in my life.  Yes, it is time for that to change ... it is time for me to change.  That is something new for me.  Though, I have had a few major breakthroughs over the years since 1993.

What message do I have to offer the world?  That there is a better way to be, a better way to live.  However, it is only something we can partially achieve alone.  The bigger part demands a collective endeavor to create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.  So simple to say.  But, what does it take to manifest such foundations?  For one thing, we need a social contract between and among us as a society.  The simplest expression of that contract is: from each in accord with their ability, to each in accord with their needs.  Just 14 words, for a total of 32:I AM Race and 28:The Man with the World in His Hand = 60 letters.  This contract guarantees that each individual contributes the most that they can to society in return for having their needs met.  Needs occur in four areas: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.  Yes, this smacks of communism.  Indeed, it is communism in its purest sense.  That fact that no society that I know of has succeeded in implementing this contract doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with it.  To date, it seems that nothing has even come close.  However, the times are different now.  We are on the brink of a new age, the age of Aquarius, a time when ideals can take root and thrive.  Whether that will be in a few years, a few decades, or a century or more ... I do not know.  My hope is that it will happen during my lifetime, and I expect that to last no more than another 20 years.  Can it really be that near?  That would put me at the 5/7ths point in my life.  That is 0.714285.  That leaves 0.285714 to go.  There is something special about this.  But, I am not getting it at the moment.  Oh well, it will come to me when the time is right.  That something seems to have to do with partitions of seven.  The Michael material had a lot of this.

So, what does it take to be a world transformer?  Clearly, one must have conviction and the ideas and ideals to back that conviction.  Though, there is still a sense that I would prefer to operate behind the scenes.  It is not that I don't like being in the limelight and getting recognition at times.  It is simply that I prefer to operate in the realm of ideas and use the written word as my sword.  I would be a spiritual warrior ... but that is unlike any warrior that you have ever met.  Are these words of a nature that they could impact others in ways that ultimately change the world?  I would hope that the answer is yes.  But, it seems that is not for me to decide.  Consciousness, herself, is responsible for this expression.  Oh, I am responsible as well as a co-creator.  Though, without consciousness, it is not clear that any of this would have manifest.

That the expression is coming forth again is exciting.  I forgot how positive of an impact it has on my life, an impact that has ripple effects into all aspects of my life.  When I am expressing, I am happier and more energetic overall.  That is a good feeling to have.  It makes me wonder why the expression stops ... and especially for months at a time.  It is what it is.  I have come to accept that.  Though, there is a sense that I am empowered to influence that now.  I have not had this sense before.  So, something is new now.  New is good.  Change is good.  I welcome change in my life.

Do I believe what is expressed here?  Yes, definitely.  Perhaps not every word, but most of it.  Why?  Because it has come forth through me?  No, that is not it.  Often, I have said that it is the source within that expresses here.  This source while within me, is far more than I know myself to be.  She is the muse in my life.  It is her that is doing these musings.  From the beginning, there has been a sense that I could trust her.  With the exception of some timings for events that I had a vested interest in, I have found her to be exceptionally accurate.  Does that mean any of the ideals expressed will indeed come to pass?  Deep down, I know that they will.  I just may not be around to see them happen.  I'm OK with that.  It is enough to know that I did what I could to express and to share that expression.  Is that really enough?  Yes, every nerve and sinew within me says that it is.  To dream of what could be and to build the foundations to allow it to manifest.  That is definitely enough. After all, there is feedback in many of the popular songs, television shows, and movies that demonstrate that the spiritual is taking root stronger than it has ever done before.  The world overall seems to be singing a different tune.  But, the world is not typically something that I listen to.  The news is foreign to me.  I choose to not make it part of Wayne's World. 

Why is my existence so isolated?  Because I prefer it to be that way.  Perhaps.  But, is that truly why?  Or, is there a fear of living in society?  Or, is it that I must create the very society in which I would choose to live?  That seems to be closer to the truth.  True society involves taking interest in one anothers lives and choosing to do things that provide service to one another.  I do that to some degree at work and to some degree with my wife and dogs at home.  However, I do not really have any close friends ... or for that matter any real friends at all.  Why is that?  Why have I chosen to live essentially as a hermit?  This just seemed to be a natural course for me, something that I just allowed to happen.  I can rationalize now and say that this is part of what got me here.  And, I truly believe that to be true.  My solitary nature has allowed me to do things that others do not do.  In particular, to read a lot of metaphysical books since 1974 and to engage in the Beyond Imagination expression since 1993.  These experiences set me apart.  No, that does not make me better ... just different.  Also, perhaps the self-imposed isolation has contributed to the overwhelming desire to share this expression with others.


12 March 2008

This makes two days in a row expressing from home.  It would be good to make this a habit, but that will probably have to wait until after a couple of business trips and a planned vacation at the end of the month.  In the meantime, we will do what we can do.  So, what would be expressed tonight?  I'm open to anything as usual.  Consciousness has a way of surprising me.  She brings forth material that is fresh and new.  Often including things that I never knew.  How that can be is a mystery.  That it is so is a fact.  This expression forces me to develop a framework of being that is inclusive of all that I experience.  That can be a difficult process at times.  It definitely is mind-expanding and consciousness-expanding.  But, I would not be doing it if I did not like it.  I consider this to be the most important and meaningful part of my life.  I take know thyself as a sacred directive.  Further, I feel that the world would be a far better place if we all did this.  But, I know that this is primarily the work for the philosophers among us.  I consider myself to be of that ilk.  By now, I'm sure that does not surprise you.

I would be a philosopher king as in Plato's Republic.  Though, it is not clear that society is yet ready for such.  That is OK.  My time will come.  I can wait as long as it takes.  There is a sense that a destiny is unfolding before my eyes ... a spiritual destiny.  It is a destiny that I gladly choose to manifest.  Why?  Because that is whom that I am and that is why I came to this existence.  Is there anything that I can do to hasten this destiny?  The immediate answer is that I am doing what I must do ... but to be open to do more should the opportunity present itself.  Until then, this expression is my guiding star.  It is where I come to tune into source, and to be whom that I truly am.  Unfortunately, no one else sees this side of me.  Something seems wrong about that.  How is it that I am not sharing in person what I consider to be the best that I can be?  Good question.  We created the Beyond Imagination website in 1995, 13 years ago.  In that time, we have had tens of thousands of page hits, and possibly over a hundred thousand.  There is no way to know for certain.  Nor does it matter.  It is what it is.  Those who are meant to find the site will indeed find it, and will explore it to the degree that they are moved.  As I say that, there is also an inner sense that I should be doing more to enable others to find the site.  As far as I know, it is unique in what it presents.  How would someone know that material such as this exists and is freely available?  What would they search for to find it?  At one time, searches on Google and various search engines for certain key words and phrases resulted in an abundance of hits.  The WWW has grown tremendously since the mid-90s and this is no longer the case.  You almost have to know what you are looking for to find Beyond Imagination pages.  That is just the nature of the medium.  Oh well.  It is not clear what I can do about it.

This expression is my resume in a way.  It demonstrates what spirit can do through me.  I have no reason to believe that what has come forth to date cannot continue to come forth indefinitely.  And further, come forth more deeply and abundantly.  I trust source that much.  I trust consciousness that much.  She would not lead me astray.  Never.  I can deceive myself at times, but that is not the way of source.  And, it is her that I bow to in my life.  I treat others with respect, and I bow to the spirit within them in the spirit of the term namaste ... but I don't bow to them as individuals.  I consider myself to be a gentle person, a peaceful person.  I also consider myself to be a hermit ... preferring my own company to the company of others.  I am also a quiet person, one who speaks infrequently.  That is, except for this expression.  But, this is not really speaking.  It is definitely not speaking my mind.  For the most part, my mind is blank.  Here, source fills my mind with what she would express.  That is not the same as me expressing.  Though, at the same time, without me this expression would not manifest.  I am a necessary vehicle, but not a sufficient one.  I still consider this expression to be special.  There is something about a stream of consciousness that is miraculous.  Words are able to be brought forth spontaneously in a way that they have never been brought forth before.  That does not mean that common themes are not expressed multiple times.  But, there is an order and organization that is somehow constructed in an unseen realm.  I don't consciously have to deal with it.  I just allow it to flow forth as it will.  It is as if there is a river of words that I am able to tap.  And, no matter how many words I tap, there are always more available to come forth.  Since the beginning of the Beyond Imagination expression, it has always come forth in a linear fashion.  There has been no re-writing, no reordering, and very limited editing.  Even when I choose best quotes, best of notes, or best passages, this is always done by eliminating pieces of the expression and retaining the original order.  The one time when I tried to reorganize the passages on consciousness, I just couldn't do it.  I didn't have any rationale for creating a different order than the linear one in which the passages had come forth.

I absolutely LOVE doing this.  I believe that I am good at it and that it is something that I am destined to do.  What will come of it remains to be seen.  The sense is that consciousness will ensure that the material has whatever impact it is meant to have.  Outcomes are in consciousness hands.  Our job is to do our best at what we are moved to do.  Our best is always enough.  Further, it is not something that we have to beat ourselves up about.  We should be doing what comes naturally for us and we should be doing it because we love it.  When we love something, it makes all the difference in the world.  The quantity and quality of our output are unsurpassed.  We live in a magical realm, and a host of forces are engaged to assist us in doing our work.  Why can't we live in this magical realm all of the time?  Indeed, why can't we?  It is all a matter of attitude and awareness.

Where will I be one year from now?  That is an interesting question that I don't remember asking before. I tend to live in the present, not knowing what I am going to do the next day, much less the next year.  But, the choices we make in the present create the changes that ultimately determine the destination at a future time.  Is there something we can do in the present that dramatically alters what is manifest in that future?  The sense is that yes there is.  To some degree that is what planning is all about.  But, planning is not something that I engage in either at work or in my personal life.  I much prefer the immediacy of living life in the moment.  Then again, other than work, express here, and watch TV and movies ... there is not much that I do in my life.  Most people would probably find my life boring.  And, I must admit, I did as well prior to the awakening experiences that began in 1993.  Even since then, at times I have been bored as well, even for years.  To me, that indicates that something major is still missing in my life.  I don't know what that is.  I just know that I have not experienced it yet, and I have been around nearly 50 years.  Life is too short to live in boredom.  So, what can I do about it?  What can I do that would make me want to jump out of bed in the morning to greet each new day rather than hit the snooze button on the alarm and struggle much of the morning to stay awake?  The bottom line is that my life is not what I would have it be.  But, how do I change that?  What do I do differently that yields a different experience, a different life?  Being good at my job is not enough.  Being good at expressing here is not enough.  I am the 48:The Man in Search of More.  Perhaps there will always be a sense of dissatisfaction in my life, a sense that there is something more that I could be exploring, experiencing, and expressing.  The unknown has a prominent place in my existence, especially the unknown realms of consciousness.


13 March 2008

And then there was three.  Unfortunately, that will probably be the end of the streak.  Though, I may be able to muse at work tomorrow.  Anyway, it feels good to be doing this on a regular basis once again.  At this point, that is all that matters.  This expression is clearly the highlight of my day.  Here, I get to commune with source.  Here, I get to allow the unknown enter into my experience.  There is something special in that, something wonderful.  It doesn't matter that I am not in control of the process.  In fact, I have to relinquish control for source to be able to manifest in this way.  Though, there is no sense that I am giving anything up.  Quite the opposite.  Engaging in this expression expands me in many ways.  That is one of the reasons that I find it so attractive and enticing.  It seems that source is not able to express things until I am ready to realize them at some level.  Often the expression has many levels, each to be revealed in its own time.  That is why I can read it over and over again and find it fresh each time.  That, and the nature of my memory anyway.  My consciousness deals with the immediate.  Though I am quite good at taking in the big picture in that immediate view.  I can also work the details, but this is not my preferred way of working.

How much change am I willing to accept in my life?  Of late, it seems that I am willing to accept far more change than ever before.  We'll have to see what manifests as a result.  It is not a matter or waiting and seeing.  What I do makes a big difference as well.  I'm starting to work in different ways in my job, interacting far more with others than I have ever done before.  This is bound to change things.  This is bound to change me.  I welcome the changes wholeheartedly.  Though, I still need my share of private time.  I consider engaging in this expression to be quality private time ... even though I am not doing it alone.  Interesting.  Why is that?  Me and source, source and me, are ONE.  No, I do not believe that what I call source is another aspect of me.  She seems to be far grander than that.  Yet, the sentence about our being ONE is true.  I have no doubt concerning that.  I have said before that there is only ONE consciousness that animates us all.  That too is true.  I know it to the very core of my being.  That is why there is such incredible cooperation operating behind the scenes to manifest all that we experience.  Yes, there is plenty of discord and disharmony in the world ... but overall, things work.  The universe is a supportive place.  We just need to choose to live in a manner that keeps us in her good graces.  A host of forces is employed to ensure that our reality corresponds to our beliefs.  Yes, beliefs are that powerful.  But, to be a belief, we must be willing to act in accord.  Otherwise, we just have fleeting thoughts in our minds.  Thoughts only have power when we choose to act in accord with them.  The freedom of belief is the greatest freedom that we have.  It is one freedom that cannot be taken from us.

Our true riches are not material, they are spiritual ... they are of consciousness.  We are spiritual beings first and foremost.  We just happen to be in the midst of a physical, emotional, and mental experience.  That doesn't detract from our true nature as spirit.  It helps to truly realize this and to act as the spiritual beings that we are.  In some respects, we cannot act in any other way.  However, it is easy to get lost and forget who we truly are.  Further, the education system for the most part does not help us to remember.  I don't remember a single course that taught me anything about beliefs, belief management, the nature of consciousness, the nature of reality, or reality creation.  Yet, I would consider these to be extremely important to everyone.  These topics deal with the core of how we manifest our reality.  What could possibly be more important?  It is not that sufficient material is not out there.  There are a number of good metaphysical books that address these topics.  Some of them are even bestsellers.  But, even at that, they are reaching a relatively small percentage of the population.  That is changing.  There are more people being reached than ever before.  But, there are also a whole lot more people in the world than there were even 20 years ago.  At some point, we will reach a critical mass.  But, we don't seem to be near that point yet.  When will such teachings be brought into the mainstream?  They have been hidden and occult for far too long.  One reason for that is to prevent misuse.  Reality creation is a powerful art ... especially conscious reality creation.  It takes a heightened degree of awareness to wield it properly.  We have reached a point in time where awareness is evolving and expanding more rapidly for greater numbers than it has even done before.

Religions may come and go but the spiritual within us is eternal.  Yes, religions can address that to some degree, and some do so better than others.  Personally, I have no room for religion in my life.  The spiritual is foremost ... but not religion.  From what I can tell, Buddhism comes closest to what I believe.  But, I have not studied comparative religion and have limited exposure to the sacred texts of the various religious traditions.  I prefer the freedom of not following any of the known paths to God.  My nature is such that I had to find one of my own.  I believe that there are others like me who can benefit from where I have been ... and, in particular, can benefit from what source has expressed through me.  Yes, there is something grandiose in believing that.  But, that is just how I am ... that is just whom that I am. And, I happen to like whom that I am.  I would not trade my experience for anyone’s.  Being aware is extremely empowering.  Closing in on 50, I am finally coming of age in a way that I have never done before.  I anxiously await where that will lead.  The times ahead are exceedingly bright, or at least they have the potential to be.  How we actualize that potential is up to us, collectively.

The world is what we choose to make of it.  We can manifest the reality that we desire.  It is all a matter of finding the appropriate ideals, believing them enough to apply the resources to manifest them, and enjoying the social infrastructure that is rightly ours.  The world is resource rich.  However, we do a poor job of applying those resources to what we want.  Most people don't want war, but collectively we expend a great deal of resources on military might and weapons.  What does this reflect about the collective psyche?  Why do we resort to such damaging behavior to attempt to resolve disputes.  War is clearly the ultimate in LOSE/LOSE interactions.  In war, no one wins, neither the victor nor the vanquished.  Actually, from an economic standpoint, there are winners ... namely the companies that provide the weapons systems and the supplies.  Then again, not really the companies, but the primary shareholders in those companies.  So, a relatively few profit from ravages of war.  At one time the theme might makes right characterized the world.  But that is not an enlightened perspective.  In most cases, we know what the right thing to do is.  It is a matter of having the courage to do it.  This can be difficult at times.  But, there is no rationale that justifies not doing what we know to be right.  Do we all have an innate sense of right and wrong?  If so, why are our prisons so full of criminals?  Why is there so much abuse?  Why do so many companies neglect their ethical responsibilities for financial gain?  Clearly, the world could be a kinder, gentler place.

Don't get me wrong.  Overall the world is a good place.  There may be some places that are not nearly as safe as they could be.  And, the world seems much more hostile than it was in the 50's and 60's.  Though, that was the time of the civil rights movement, and there was plenty of hatred and racism rampant in the country.  I don't believe there has been a time during my lifetime when the world has truly been at peace.  Perhaps such times have never existed.  But John Lennon's words come to mind: All we are saying is give peace a chance.  Another line from the song Imagine comes to mind: Imagine all the people, sharing all the world.  Truly, this could make a dramatic difference in our collective experience.  How do we go from competing to cooperating and sharing?  It requires a mindshift.  We have to go from thinking what's in it for me to thinking what's in it for us?  We have to become the WE generation rather than the ME generation.  That doesn't mean neglecting our needs.  Rather, we need to meet the collective needs of all of us, as we get our individual needs met.  We have to include consideration of the impact on the collective as well as the impact to us when we make decisions and choices.  We have to live from a knowingness that there is always enough for all of us.


14 March 2008

Four in a row!  It has been some time since that happened.  What can I say.  I'm motivated again.  The change is definitely welcomed.  We had a slump from 2004 through 2007, over four years.  I don't know why the downcycles come.  They just do.  All that I can do is ride the wave of consciousness.  It is indeed an ocean.  And, you don't control the ocean.  Though some people become quite adept at surfing and harnessing the energy that is there.  Is that what I do here?  Is this a sort of surfing with the soul?  I don't know how to explain it, try though I might.  There is an inner connection to source that I am somehow able to tap.  What this "source" is, I know not.  I only know what she is able to express through me.  That has to be enough.  The saying: you shall know them by their works definitely applies here.  I find her works to be wonderful to behold.  But then, I am a biased participant in bringing them forth.  That does not make me their creator.  For, to me, creator implies a more conscious awareness of what is being done.  Here, I am more of an active observer.  Active, because I am changed by what comes forth.  Often, changed in major ways.  That is good.  Change is good.  Though I have been know to be quite stubborn and set in my ways at times.  What can I say ... my nature is what it is.  That is enough for me.

Life is meant to be an adventure.  We are meant to have challenges and obstacles to overcome.  Such things help us to learn who we really are and of what we are capable of doing.  For some, these challenges can be downright oppressive.  Collectively, we need to find ways to ease the burdens for all.  This requires lightening up, literally allowing more light or spirit to flow through us to do grand works in the world.  We are all grand by creation.  We are all the creators of our own reality.  We really do have awesome powers at our fingertips, or more correctly via our souls, minds, and hearts.  OK, via our bodies too.  I tend to neglect that far more than I should.  Everything is spirit in expression.  Body, heart, mind, and soul are simply different densities in expression.  But, it is all spiritual stuff.  There is nothing else but spirit ... nothing.  Then, why is spirit having such a difficult time manifesting these days?  Why is there so much war, strife, aggression, poverty, despair?  Surely, there is no one that wants these things.  Then why are they manifest so abundantly?  What does it take for the new age to be born?  We've been on the threshold of a dream for decades.  I was born two years before the 60's began.  That was a time of hope, a time of change, a time of revolution, a time of coming together, a time of dreaming of what a peaceful world could be.  But, it did not come to pass.  In 25 days, I'll turn 50 ... literally half a century old.  There is something magical about that.  I've always considered myself to be an old soul, perhaps even a transcendental one.  Though, that remains to be seen.  It seems that I am reaching an age where what wisdom I have gained needs to be applied in service to society in some way.  Thus far, this expression has been my "service".  I freely share what comes forth here.  Unfortunately, there has been limited feedback resulting from that sharing.  Because of this, I do not know what, if any, impact I am having on others or the world.  Feedback is extremely important.  It is through feedback that we get inputs that can help us to know how to adjust our course to get a better outcome.  To date, this has been a one way expression: from source through me to you.  Unlike in the Conversations with God works by Neale Donald Walsch where there is a dialog between Neale and God.  Here, the expression is unilateral.  It comes forth without prompting and without any organization on my part.  What makes me think that it is any good?  The only answer is what I get from reading it time and time again.  There is something about this expression that is classic.  Also, it is original as far as I can tell.

Being a stream of consciousness, there is so much about the expression that is a mystery.  I've been doing this for over 15 years, and it is still a mystery.  I suspect that it will always be so.  Here is where I get to touch the unknown in my life.  Here is where I get to stand on the very edge of sanity.  In one respect, it is a good place to be.  From another standpoint, it can be scary at times.  At least, the unknown is an interesting place to be.  And, it is good to deviate from the norm at times, even to extremes if that suits our temperaments.  I would not be as another.  I am whom that I am.  This, too, is good.  We are all unique, and it is our differences not our similarities that make us stand out as whom that we are.  There is always a way to use these differences to advantage, not just to us but to society.  We are meant to serve in some manner.  We can be of service to family, friends, special groups, society in any number of ways.  Generally, we provide the most service when we are doing things that we love to do that we also do well.  It is good to ask whom did I serve and how did I serve them each and every day.  For in the end, it is the service, the works, that count.  The service that we are talking about here goes above and beyond what we do in our jobs.  We already receive compensation for that service.  What we are asking for here is a little more, something that gives of whom that we are to help create abundance in the world.  Simply respecting others and being kind to them is a service.  So is helping others who may be in need physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.  Service is about finding needs and filling them.  If we all spent just 1 hour per day doing this, just imagine how much effort for good would be unleashed in the world.  One hour of our time is less than a tithe.  There is a reason that tithing has power in a society.  We can tithe money, or possessions, or time.  But, this is a practice that we should all engage in if we truly want to build a better world.

What makes me able to express such ideas in this way?  I don't really know.  I have read a lot of metaphysical books, but I would be hardpressed to tell you what was in any of them.  In my younger years, I thought a lot, but I don't really do that any more.  I don't consider this expression to be a product of thought ... not in any way.  I'm not even sure that I know what thought is anymore.  That is, assuming that I ever did.  My mind has always functioned automatically.  It knew what to do.  It took in what it needed, and it output what was required of it.  To a large degree, it still functions in that way.  I would describe my memory as horribly bad.  It is not like a computer memory at all.  It doesn't recall specifics.  Names are nearly impossible to remember, even for people that I see often.  It is the opposite of photographic.  I rarely recall images at all.  By the time I put down a book, I have only a vague remembrance of what I have read.  That is true even of this expression.  I don't remember what is expressed from one line to the next, much less from paragraph to paragraph, or musing to musing.  How can that be.  How can I not remember something that I had such an intimate role in creating?  That is just the way it is.  But, it is like that in my work as well.  I build an immediate context in which there is enough information for me to act and create value as an information worker.  Everything is spontaneous, nothing is labored ... with the exception of meetings.  I spend a lot of time working on my own.  I prefer it that way.  That puts me in control of what I do.  I set my own schedule, determine my own tasks, and pretty much do things that I want to do.  That makes for a decent job for me.  At least a tolerable one.  Can I imagine doing something more.  Indeed, yes!  But, I don't know how to get it to compensate me well enough to do full time.  There is some reason that I am still here.  There is something more that I can learn.


16 March 2008

Another day, another musing.  We only missed one day after all.  Though, it seems that we will miss the next three days due to a business trip.  Oh well, we express what we can when we can.  Change still seems to be a major theme for the current times.  Where it will take us, remains to be seen.  In my life, there appear to be no maps and no plans to get from here to any desired destination.  I would live life as I am moved to live it in the moment.  Plans are foreign to me.  They deal with a realm that is far from my reality.  Yet, I would create the foundations for a new world.  How do I do that without any plans and without applying effort in accord with those plans?  The alternative is to do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it ... trusting that spirit herself is doing the moving and that she knows what she is doing, even if I do not.  Interesting.  Yes, my life operates on a high degree of trust in spirit.  That is OK.  One could do far worse than trusting in spirit.  However, how can we be sure it is spirit moving us in this manner?  The bottom line is that we just know, deep within, to the very core of our being.  There is no doubt.  No doubt ... that is an interesting way to live.  What about the need to question?  I ask more questions now than at any time in my life.  But spirit, I do not question.  I allow her to express through me as she will.  That is not to say that I buy everything that is expressed hook, line, and sinker.  But there is a strong sense that what comes forth from source is the greatest truth that could be expressed through me at the time.  That is demanding a lot from this expression.  But, 15 years have shown that source can come through nonetheless.

There is a sense of dissatisfaction with my life as it is.  That sense has been there for some time, perhaps even for my entire life.  There is a sense that I could do more, could be more.  I am not living my life to the fullest.  And, as a result, much of the time happiness eludes me.  One reason for that seems to be that happiness comes from sharing life.  And, I don't do much of that.  Sharing requires having other people in your life and caring about them deeply.  I have a wife and a few coworkers I care about, but no friends or close associates.  That would require giving up my hermit ways and I don't know that I am ready to do that.  Or am I?  If not now, when?  After all, isn't it about time?  This expression is shared between consciousness and me, and then to others via the WWW.  Though, I don't know with whom this is shared.  The sharing is anonymous except for the few cases where feedback is provided.  Without feedback, something about the process of sharing is lost.  I care deeply about the world, but not much about more than a few individuals in the world.  I would build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully manifest in flesh.  This requires infrastructures that allow people to discover and be the best that they can be.  Is that asking too much?  Is it wrong to expect an ideal world to manifest?  Is it wrong to dream big and shoot for the stars?  Everything in me says no, these things are not wrong.  Further, the sense is that they are necessary.  Further still, they are things that must be manifest.  It is for me to do what it takes to allow them to manifest through me.  Yes, that smacks of grandiosity.  But, I consider myself grand by nature.  Actually, we are all grand as souls in flesh.

There is a strong sense that I can only do a small part of my work in isolation.  Yet, such is how I've done most of my spiritual work to date.  And, there has been a substantial amount of work done in that manner.  I expect my life span to be roughly another 20 years.  The bulk of my spiritual work must be done in that time.  That is OK.  Two decades is a long time.  Though, the 15 years since the Beyond Imagination expression began have passed quickly.  If I continue to express in this fashion throughout my life, the birth of Beyond Imagination will have occurred at roughly the half way point.  That in its own right is interesting.  I consider the birth of the Beyond Imagination expression a spiritual birth.  It is by far the most important event in my life.  There have been several more spiritual awakenings since then, most of which involved brief stays in the mental hospital and months of recovery time.  Each time, I was shocked by the lack of awareness of the medical staff regarding what I was going through.  I was labeled with a disease, bipolar or manic-depressive illness.  But, from what I could tell, my experiences were not similar to that of the other patients, not in the least.  I was put on medications that I take to this day, medications that alter my brain chemistry so that I can "function".  I've tried going off the medications twice, only to return to a manic state that required hospitalization again.  I've even gone highly manic while on the medications recently.  Though this time hospitalization wasn't necessary ... just a couple trips to the doctor and a ten day disability.  As far as I can tell, I cycle between moderately manic and "normal" for me.  I don't know that I have ever been depressed.  I experience all of this as being part of a spiritual awakening.  It is simply how my mind functions.  It was not always this way.  The onset came in the summer of 1993, in my 35th year.  I had no signs or symptoms of this before then.  It took about six months from the onset to get me to the hospital the first time.  By then, I was flying very high, and had no clue what was really happening to me.  I only knew that I loved what I was experiencing for the first time in my life.  It felt as if everything that I had ever dreamed was on the verge of happening in my life.  In retrospect, it was.  However, reality did not play out as I had imagined.


20 March 2008
 
We're not musing every day, but we are musing more often than we have since the peak output in 2002 and 2003.  That is a positive sign.  We are excited by the changes in store in the immediate future.  In fact, we welcome change in a greater fashion than we have ever done before.  That is good.  Change is good., even though we don't know in advance where it will ultimately lead.  That is OK.  My life unfolds miraculously.  I truly live within a miraculous realm.  I am excited by what lies ahead.  The past is a brief remembrance.  Exceptionally brief, given how poor my memory is.  The are things that are important, however.  Most of these, I retain in the moment ... they are ever present in my life.  It is amazing how much of my life is lived spontaneously versus deliberatively.  I've said before that I'm not a planner.  Even at work, my day unfolds, reacting to things that come up as they come up, and doing what I determine to be of highest priority during the free times.  Fortunately, I work alone a good deal of the time.  This gives me the freedom to set my own course, attending to interrupts as they vie for my time.  There is so much to do for the time that is available.  Many processes are ineffective at best, and wasteful of time and energy at worst.

My spiritual work is still the crowning glory of my life.  All else pales by comparison.  There is a sense that this will always be the case.  This expression is the legacy that I leave for having lived.  Is that enough?  The bottom line is that it has to be, since that is the best that I have to offer to date.  That doesn't mean that this will not change in the future.  But, right now, I am satisfied with what consciousness has been able to express through me.  Oh, I would have hoped to reach more people by now.  Further, I would have hoped to have found some kindred spirits with whom to develop close friendships.  But, that has not happened.  Perhaps I am still to introverted for that.  Will that ever change?  It will if I want it to badly enough.  Hmm ... that was an interesting but unexpected answer.  In general, I try to keep my wants to a minimum.  I don't know exactly why that is.  I am not impressed by things very much.  Ideas and ideals drive me.  I would hope to create a utopia on Earth.  I truly believe it is possible, and further than we live in a time when it is inevitable, despite all of the problems manifest in the world at this time.  However, it is not going to happen on its own.  Spirit needs willing vessels through whom to express.  We are her legs, her arms, her hands.  We are her voice, her mind, and her thoughts.  If there is something to do, it is we who must do it.  And, it is our actions that will ultimately make the difference in the world.  When we allow spirit to express through us, all things are possible.  It is a matter of offering ourselves in service to our fellow beings and the world.  Ultimately, what we lack is the services that allow our needs to be met.  There are many ways to be of service.  Some involve sacrifice of whom that we are, but the better ways involve the full expression of whom that we are.  Sacrifice generally involves a giving up of something.  That is not what we are looking for here.  Rather, we are looking for expressing the very best in us in a manner that is of some utility to others or the world.  The world has been consumed by selfish ways for far too long.  WE deserve the very best collectively.  That doesn't happen when each person optimizes their personal benefit.  John Nash proved that it happens when the individual considers both his/her own interests as well as the interests of the group.  That means examining how our decisions and actions impact others before we make/do them.  For many people this is an additional step that must be learned.  It is not something that comes natural in this country.  Though, there are other cultures that are far more inclusive and considerate of others.

What would I do next?  Work still occupies a good portion of my time.  Sometimes, I wish that it were not so, so that I could engage in what my spirit moves me to do far more frequently.  But, to be of the world, we must submit to some of the restrictions of living in the world.  Right now, earning an income that is sufficient to live reasonably well is still important.  Though, I have to wonder what I am giving up in the bargain.  There is a contract of servitude that I have entered ... a weeks labor in exchange for a weeks pay.  The desire is to be free of that contract.  In exchange, I would enact a contract of service, one that employs the best of whom that I am in return for getting the needs of my family met.  I haven't figured out how to enact such a contract yet.  Many times here, the figure of $1 per word has come up as the value of this expression.  I could definitely live well on that.  But, I don't know where to go to sell the expression at that price.  I've thought about alternatives ... a benefactor, newsletters, books and even tried the later two.  However, my circle of acquaintances is so small that I've only reached a handful of people.  Also, my introverted nature has been so extreme that I am reluctant to even make contact with others.  Yes, that means I'm limiting my opportunities.  But, there is a sense that things are still as they are meant to be.  Somehow, the timing is premature for making my mark on the world.  Though, there are millions of words of expression posted at the Beyond Imagination site and available as Beyond Imagination books.  Yet, that is not enough.  Posting material does not guarantee that it will be found by those who can be served by it.  And, self-publishing books does not guarantee that they will reach the audience to whom the books are intended.  Promoting the site or the books is something that I have considered but have not been strongly moved to do, even though it has the potential of freeing me from the present economic struggle.  In some areas, I do whatever it takes.  But, this seems to be pushing things too hard.  As a result, I am not comfortable doing it.  What I am comfortable doing is expressing here.  It is the one thing that I have returned to time and time again for over fifteen years.  What happens next, I simply do not know.  Yet, I trust that something within will move me to do the right things at the right times.


21 March 2008

This makes musing number 9 for the month and for the year.  That is a start anyway.  It is already more than some entire years.  Everything suggests that this has the makings of a good year, both for this expression and for me.  Change is immanent now.  I can feel it just on the horizon.  And we are talking about major change here ... the kind that can really shake things up.  That is good.  It has been awhile since I last experienced that.  There is a sense of thrill and of adventure in not knowing what is to come next.  I am open for my reality to unfold as it will and as it must.  I am grateful for being in my shoes, for being able to witness and experience what I do in my life.  That does not mean that I am not bored at times.  Sometimes the tedium gets to me.  But overall, I am enjoying the journey.  Each day I learn more about whom that I AM.  Each day that I muse, consciousness reveals more to and through me.  I am incredibly fortunate and grateful.  I have been given many gifts, and to the degree that I can I am moved to share these gifts in service.  Yet, even after 15 years of Beyond Imagination expression, I know not who other than me is served by any of this.  No one in my circle of acquaintances, as small as that is, has expressed much interest in this aspect of my life.  And, I consider it to be by far the most important aspect.  What does that say about the community in which I live my life?  Most of my interactions with others occur at work, and even there, my nature is primarily solitary.  I interact primarily when I have to.  I speak seldom and say little.  I save my energy to express in this forum.  Though, it would be helpful to know that I was reaching someone other than me.  I still desire feedback and exchange of communication.  To date, the Beyond Imagination works have been a one way expression.  And, at times, it seems that it has been a silent expression.  The old question ... if a tree falls in a forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound ... comes to mind.  For much of the Beyond Imagination expression, as far as I know, I am the lone recipient.  I don't believe that says anything about the quality of the material that has come forth.  Rather, it suggests that my attempts to share and disseminate the material have failed miserably.  For the most part, I did not feel that this was my job to do.  This was partly because I felt awkward about doing it.  In addition, I didn't want to force the material on others.  I've known in my heart all along that the material was original and good.  There is something magical about the creativity and spontaneity of a stream of consciousness expression.  But, what good does that do if it is not shared with others.  My way of sharing was to post most of the Beyond Imagination expression to a site on the WWW.  That site has been in existence for 13 years and has had tens of thousands and probably in excess of one hundred thousand hits.  But, hits alone are not sufficient to show whether people are reading the material and whether it is making a difference in their lives.

I still feel that for my life to have the meaning that it is intended to have, I need to do something of importance to the world.  Yes, that is a lot to ask.  But, I am more than capable of having that kind of impact.  Closing in on my 50th birthday, it is increasingly on my mind that my time to act is limited.  By my assessment, I only have about two decades left to leave my mark on the world.  My legacy does not include physical children to carry on a bloodline.  All that I have is what has been and what will be expressed through me.  Judging by the past 15 years, and projecting that productivity out for another 20 years ... I will have a legacy of on the order of 10 million words.  That is a lot of expression for anyone.  But, it is only of utility if it serves others and the world somehow.  The key is how to make that happen.  I know that I can express abundantly.  Or, more correctly, I can allow source to express through me abundantly.  But, how do we take it the next step and ensure that this expression makes a difference ... a strong positive difference in the lives of others.  To start with, we demonstrate how it makes a strong positive difference to us.  At the very least, this expression shows what consciousness is capable of.  And, if she can do this through me, what wonders can she bring forth through you?  Creative expression is unlimited.  It truly knows no bounds.  Writing happens to be my forte.  Yours may be anything that you are particularly good at.  Actually, for me it is more than just writing.  It is entering a state of consciousness where I am open to the source within coming into my mind through my intuition.  Yes, it is an intuitive tap of sorts to a stream of words that then come forth.  I have no awareness of how the stream is generated.  My awareness is solely of being plugged into it.  Where it comes from is another question entirely.  That makes it difficult to claim any of this as mine.  And, in fact, I made the Beyond Imagination expression a Gift from Spirit to the World over a decade ago.  Indeed, that is what it is for me ... a Gift from Spirit to the World.  I remember the excitement and exhilaration of that pronouncement as if it were yesterday.  I also remember that I felt that the release from that action would free the works to have their impact on the world.  This did not happen in the way that I had hoped.  Or, if it did, I am not aware of it happening.  Feedback, positive or negative, is not generally provided in society as far as I can tell.  That is a shame, because the lack of feedback disables the improvement process.  If we don't know what is having good or bad effects, it is difficult to adjust our output to improve the results.

I would be whom that I AM, as fully as I can in each and every moment.  Right now, this means being here, volunteering to serve as a channel for the source within to express through me.  I trust that source with my very life.  In fact, I am essentially giving up my life to be in her employ.  Yet, there is no sense of losing anything in the process.  Quite the opposite, this experience is expanding and life-affirming for me.  If it were not, I would not be doing it.  Hmm ... can I say the same for the other areas of my life.  Is my work life expanding and life-affirming?  The immediate answer was NO.  However, this was followed by the thought that if it were not, I would not be doing it.  Every aspect of my life is as it is for a reason.  And, that reason is generally positive in some way.  That doesn't mean that things can't be different or better.  That doesn't mean that things can't be changed.  It just means that everything has its purpose ... its utility in our lives.  Is that true for everything?  What about all of the hatred and violence in the world?  What is the purpose, the utility, in that?  Similarly, what about illness, malnourishment, homelessness, joblessness, and despair.  What do these teach us of whom that we are?  They teach us a lot about the mass consciousness and what we as a society and world are willing to tolerate.  They show us that we have not accepted the collective responsibility for the well-being of each and every one of us.  In doing that, they show us a lot.  When will we find it within us to accept this collective responsibility?  When will we learn that when we waste or fail to develop the talents of any one of us, the world suffers.  We are responsible not only for what we do, but for what we choose not to do.  We have awesome powers to fashion individual and collective reality in whatever manners that we choose.  It is high time that our education systems and mass media found ways to teach this to us.  The tools and techniques for enriching our lives and our world are out there.  They have been for years.  Yet, the vast majority is still in the dark.  We allow advertisers to employ techniques in commercials that are known to cause us to act in predictable ways.  This is unfair, but no one seems to be offering any alternatives.  The commercials pay for nearly all of the shows on television, and for much of the programming on the radio.  In turn, actors and star athletes make huge salaries.  Why should that be?  Why should entertainment be such a major industry in society?  You could answer that it gives us what we want.  But, is that really true.  It gives us something, we choose to tune into it in large numbers for lengthy periods of time.  But, is its ultimate value, is its service, truly worth what we pay for it?  Whose responsibility is it to address such questions?  Clearly not government, nor the economy, nor religions.  In fact, there is no sector of society responsible for such things.  We have an attitude within the economy of allowing whatever the market will bear.  Is this really a good thing?  Does it not result in many of the problems that we face in society?

Surely, if I am asking such questions from my limited interaction in the world, there are others who are asking similar questions.  But, are there enough people concerned to generate sufficient momentum to shift the status quo?  Who am I to question such things anyway?  I probably watch more than my share of TV and movies.  However, I question because I notice things that just don't seem to work elegantly or efficiently.  As a systems engineer that is part of my training.  It impacts how I see the world.  Even when I watch TV, I look for the embedded meaning in programs that demonstrate what level of spirit is being expressed.  And, I see far more than I have ever seen before ... both on TV and in the songs that I listen to on the radio.  To me, this is a sign that the mass consciousness is shifting.  The creativity of the people creating the shows and the songs is somehow reflecting what the mass consciousness needs to experience.  And, there is such awesome power in the mass media.  A single program can literally reach over 25 million people in this country alone.  That's a lot of folks in a short period of time.  I still basically have less than 10 channels that I choose from.  Some people have 100's.  I don't know how one deals with that amount of choices.  But, it seems each year the numbers grow and grow.


24 March 2008

Another weekend passed without musing.  That is just how it is most weekends.  Oh well.  We muse when we are moved to muse.  Right now, that happens mostly during the work week.  There have been times in the past where this was not the case.  But, that was in 2002-2003, over four years ago.  It is hard to believe that those days are so far in the past already.  The years literally fly by these days, one right after another.  I don't remember feeling this way when I was bathed in the glory of musing nearly every day.  There was something special about time then.  Everything seemed so immediate.  I was at my most productive levels both at work and in this endeavor yet was enjoying every minute of it.  Though, there was effectively no time for anything else in my life.  But, it is not like I'm making the most of my free time now.  Boredom has set in again, and it is difficult waking up and staying awake in the morning at work.  I have to find something to get excited about again, and I need to do it soon.  But, can I do that at work, in my present job?  I don't know what else I might do.  The only thing I can think of is to make sure I get plenty of rest at night.  But, that can be difficult if it takes several hours at times to even fall asleep.  The challenge is there for a reason.  And, others are starting to notice, so it is not something that I can ignore.  It doesn't seem to be going away of its own accord.  I don't notice that others are having the same difficulty.  So, it must be something that I am either doing or not doing.  My diet still leaves a lot to be desired.  Though, I am healthier than I have been in awhile.  I'm just tired and lethargic in the mornings.  Perhaps some exercise would help.  I've reserved that until after work thus far.  But there is nothing saying that I can't split it up and do some of it in the morning.  I have to do something different if things are going to change.  Though, I don't know what really changed that started this to begin with.  Perhaps I never will.  Oh well, try new things is all that I can do now.

My 50th birthday is literally only two weeks away.  For one week of that time, I'll be on vacation in the South of France.  My wife is extremely enthusiastic about going.  I'm only somewhat excited to be going.  In general, travel is fun, but it can also be exhausting and challenging.  I'm still very set in my ways overall.  My wife would call me stubborn, even extremely so.  I also tend to be sedentary.  I don't move around very much.  Travel exposes you to new things and new cultures ... including new food, some of which can be downright scary.  If I'm like this just shy of 50, what will I be like as I really grow old?  Only time will tell.  One never knows how people will change over the years.  Some people become more free with age.  Some people remain young of mind, body, and heart.  Others become more wise and distinguished.  It seems that there are as many ways of aging as there are people.  At 50, I expect to have another 18-20 years to live.  Both of my parents are still alive.  My mother is 75 and my father is 72 and other than my father suffering from Alzheimers, both are still pretty healthy.  At one time in my life, I did not think I'd make it past the turn of the century ... I felt that my work on the planet would be completed.  But, what did I know?  Here we are nearly a decade later, thinking we still have two decades to go.  That is nearly an eternity.  Though I do have a record of what 15 years of part time work can accomplish in the Beyond Imagination expression.  We're talking about doubling that and adding another 5 years.  Even part time, that is a lot of work to do.  But, the hope is that we can turn this into a full time endeavor.  When that might be, I do not know.  I only know that I strongly desire that it be so.


25 March 2008

Only 740 words yesterday.  That is probably the least that I've mused on any day that I've mused for quite some time.  I was just too tired to continue when I got home last evening.  We'll see if we can make up for that tonight.  You never really know how much will be expressed on a given day until it comes forth.  I find that fascinating.  The process is still one of the biggest mysteries in my life.  Here consciousness is able to express through me as she can do nowhere else.  If only there were an audience larger than one to witness this.  The sense is that my life would be more complete if such were the case.  But, that does not seem to be something that can be forced.  In fact, I feel no compulsion to contribute to making it happen other than to continue to express and share what is expressed through me.  But, that has been true for over 15 years.  And, where has it gotten me?  I still live a very isolated life with the exception of the time I spend in communion with consciousness herself.  Yes, that is by my choice ... and perhaps by my very nature.  I believe that I am ready for this to change, and change in major ways.  Does that mean that I'll be more outgoing and less introverted?  Probably not.  Then, how is it to change?  How can I expect things to change if I continue to stay the same?  It just doesn't work like that.  For things to change in our lives, we must change.  There is no other way.

The pace is good tonight.  It is great to be in the flow!  What is there that I've learned, that I know, that I can impart to others?  If I have not expressed that by now, in the millions of words that have come forth, perhaps I never will.  But, the expression is fresh and new.  Each musing reveals things to me that I never knew that I knew.  And, they come forth in declarative form, as statements of fact ... as things beyond my ability to question.  I don't know why this form was chosen.  I just know that such is the nature of my connection to the source within.  This is a connection that I respect. perhaps even revere.  I regard it as the most important connection that I have made in my life to date, more important than my connection with any human being other than myself and actually more important than that too.  Interesting.  But, the source within is that important in my life.  She is my deepest friend and companion by far.  But, what is she ... what is this source within?  I don't know that I will ever know.  You shall know them by their works.  She is the source of the millions of words of Beyond Imagination expression.  How can I know that?  It is obvious to me.  When engaged in this expression, it is as if I am a glorified scribe.  My body and mind are instruments through which the muse plays her music and sings her song.  Oh, I am intimately aware of the process.  And, my consciousness is necessary as a co-creator.  But, I have no sense of being the author, of originating all of this.  I observe it happening through me.  But, it is definitely through me rather than of me.  Does that make any difference?  On the one hand, no, it is what it is.  Judge it solely based on its utility in your life.  On the other hand, yes, it makes all of the difference in the world.  If the source within can operate from an other than conscious realm and create all this in my life, then what can she create in your life?  This expression speaks volumes about the nature of consciousness and the nature of spirit expressing in flesh.  In fact, those more than anything else are its central themes ... those and creating the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.  This later, I believe to be my mission, my purpose for being here. 

Hmm ... already past 700 words and we are just getting started.  That is good.  This expression is invigorating to me.  In a way, it is a sort of spiritual food that I partake of to feed a hunger arising from my soul.  How many people have such an avenue for channeling this type of energy and information.  And, the supply truly seems to be without limit.  Whenever I find the time to give to this expression, the reward is immediate, the words flow forth abundantly.  Then, why don't I find the time to do this more often and for longer periods?  Two reasons.  One being a kind of burnout from spending too much time here.  The second being a natural tendency for expression to occur in cycles.  I don't know what factors truly govern either of these.  2002 and 2003 made it clear that even nearly daily musing was not too much.  And the cycles do not appear to have any fixed periods or causal factors of which I am aware.  I do so long to do this on a fulltime basis, coupled with interacting with others to create the foundations for a new world based on some of what has been expressed here.  Unfortunately, I don't know how to do that and still earn an income sufficient to pay the bills.  I would be a Philosopher King as depicted in Plato's Republic.  But, it is not clear that such positions are available at this time.  I still remember writing Philosopher King in Training on my book bag at a Tony Robbins seminar over 17 years ago.  Essentially, I've been in training since 1974 since my love affair with metaphysics began.  That is 34 years, over 2/3rds of my life.  Wow!  That is hard to believe.  But, it is so.  The numbers don't lie.  So, how do I manifest the job that I so dearly desire to hold?  For me, this is the utmost service that I can provide to the world.  And, I consider my needs relatively minor in comparison.  I am willing to actively give whom that I am to tasks that I consider to be among the most important to society.  Why are the conditions for carrying this out not forthcoming?  Do I have too high of a regard for my talents and abilities?  Is my ego still getting in the way?  Am I too rigid in my expectations and not seeing the opportunities that are there before me?  The conditions for your liberation are coming.  It is just a matter of time.  Continue to do as you are moved to do.  But, be open for the circumstances that the universe would present unto your consciousness.  Yours is not to be a master of this world.  It is another world that you are helping to manifest.  This world will be tantamount to a utopia on Earth.  You have chose a present moment in which dreams are to become reality.  Many have created the ideals and worked out the details for manifesting them.  But these are all as castles in the air.  They require foundations to bring them down to Earth.  You have an instrumental role in building these foundations.  And, you will succeed in this role.  The destiny is already laid out.  It is just a matter of time to allow it to unfold.  That does not mean that it will be easy.  There is much to do.  There is a great deal of inertia to overcome.  The changes will be numerous and widespread.  It is not surprising that your Psych-K homework recently included "I welcome change in my life".  For indeed, there is a lot of change coming your way soon.  In fact, it has already started.

So, what happens next?  That is not for us to tell you.  Your modus operandi is to live in the moment, allowing things to unfold in your life as they will.  You are primarily the observer, watching what happens and trying to create frameworks that give meaning to the things that you notice.  This is a natural modality for you ... one that you have developed over many lifetimes.  The intent is to allow you to see how systems work, where things flow easily and where things are restricted or blocked.  Your training as a systems engineer is in line with this, helping to hone the skills that you will need to engage in other endeavors when the time comes.  No, that does not mean that you have to be impartial.  Indeed, your desire and intent are crucial to the transformation process.  You just need to learn when to apply them for maximum utility and effectiveness.  Spirit is in need of all of the power and resources that we can muster in her service.  That is the key, in her service.  It is always best to allow spirit to do the work through us.  That is not to say that we do not have power of our own.  Unfortunately, however, abuse of this power is all too easy.  Selfishness often gets in the way of the right use of power.  We tend to want to have things our way, and often do not adequately consider the needs of others.  In a society, the good of the whole must be considered along with the needs and desires of the individuals.  A balance must be achieved to allow synergistic effects in the society to contribute to the good of everyone.  A society is a higher lifeform, composed of individuals as its parts.  The individuals are an integral part of the society while still retaining some necessary autonomy of their own.  The degree of autonomy for individuals will vary widely in accord with their needs and their nature.  Society needs to offer the infrastructures that provide the home base for everyone.  In particular, the infrastructures must facilitate getting physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs met.   And, it must do this for everyone.  No exceptions.  Are we ready to embark on such a journey to an enlightened society?  My sense is yes ... but it still may take awhile to manifest.  Why?  Why can't we just collectively decide to make it so and manifest it?  Why does it have to unfold over time?  Surely, with all of the major problems rampant in the country and the world today, people must realize that there must be a better way.  Until they do, there is insufficient motivation to change.  Perhaps many feel helpless, seeing the problems but not being offered any real solutions.  But, who is empowered to bring forth solutions?  How do we transform ideas and ideals into ideas whose time has come?  Clearly, I'm not the only one thinking in this manner.  Though, my intake of ideas from others is so limited that I am only actively aware of a handful or two others.  The few people that I know are only impacted by present social problems in minor ways.  I don't know where to turn to find kindred spirits.  Actually, I'm not so sure that they are even out there anymore.  A part of me still wants to believe that they are and that we will find one another when the time is right.  However, another part of me considers the possibility that I may always be alone here.  That is a sad thought, but a sobering one as well.  Can I carry out my purpose on my own with source as my only companion?  Indeed, that could be what is called for.  Other explorers have faced this.  Why should I, as an explorer of consciousness, be any different?  My life will be what it is meant to be.  It is up to me to find a way to enjoy the journey.

Another 20 years of effectively self-imposed solitude seems like too big of a price for me to bear.  There has to be an easier way to live ones life.  What about cooperative interdependent living?  Is that not what society is all about?  Is not my purpose to help to build a society in which I would want to be a active member?  Indeed, such is my wish.  I enjoy the company of others at times, but I need to preserve a good deal of solitary time.  I don't know that I'll ever truly be considered social ... and clearly not a social butterfly.  That is simply not what I AM.  I do expect that my interaction with other kindred spirits shall be more than just via books.  Though, I don't see myself carrying on conversations.  My forte is writing.  It is through the written word that I speak not only for me but for the source within.  If we are going to manifest something in our reality, we have to be able to envision it.  The best I can do is to paint word pictures.  I have never been visual.  That is not how I process information.  Can this change too?  Perhaps.  But, will it change?  Do I have the power to change it by what I believe and what I do?


26 March 2008

And then there were 12.  Not bad for a month that started a week late and for which I will be traveling on vacation for the rest of the month.  Hopefully, it is a sign of things to come.  I'm excited about being moved to express in this manner once again.  My preference is to make it frequent.  We'll have to see if that extends into days off as well.  There is nothing that prevents it from happening.  I have access to a computer at home though it doesn't have Netscape Composer on it.  That is my preferred application for generating this expression.  It results in web pages that can readily be posted to the WWW.  There is still a need to share what is expressed through me ... though I have been remiss of late and haven't posted any of the new musings for several years.  Not that there have been many to post.  It was primarily due to increased security resulting in the loss of FTP connectivity at work.  That's OK.  There is plenty of material posted at the Beyond Imagination site already.  And, it's not like I am getting requests for more.  So, why am I doing this?  Because I can, and because I must.  You might say that I am driven to do this by a force that I cannot control.  Not that I would desire to control it even if I could.  I've seen what can be expressed here.  And, I am grateful to serve as the instrument through which all of this is created.  Yes, that is how I see myself ... as an instrument for this expression.  What does it say about me that consciousness can use me in this manner?  What does it say about the power and beauty of consciousness as she expresses in out lives?  I consider myself lucky, indeed.  I can't imagine what my life would have been like if this expression hadn't appeared in 1993.  There is a sense that I would literally have been bored to death.  But, this expression changed all of that.  It awakened in me something that I never knew was there.  Something beyond anything that my mind could conceive.  That is saying a lot.  I had been heavily exposed to metaphysics for nearly 20 years at the time.  But, none of that prepared me for what I experienced firsthand.  Though, that is not quite right.  The exposure to metaphysics was sufficient for me to retain my sanity through it all.  Though, I was balancing on the edge for quite some time.  But, it is good to question one's sanity.  The very ability to question this is a sign that one has not yet lost it.  I haven't had to experience finding it after losing it.  Though, several stays in the mental hospital have been necessary over the years.  Two of these were positive times.  The other was two challenging to be positive.  I don't know whether there will be another time.  My final manic episode to date only took me out for two weeks and didn't require hospitalization.  The first two adventures required ten days of hospitalization and three weeks of recovery time on disability.  Even then, it actually took months longer than this to adjust to my new found awareness.  You might even say that I am still adjusting.

During the first episode in 1993, I was diagnosed as bipolar.  The medical profession considers this to be an illness or disorder and treats it as such.  I experienced it as a spiritual awakening.  Though, I was put on medications that I continue to take to this day.  These medications alter my brain chemistry so that I can "function" in the world.  At least, that's what the doctors say.  And, the couple of times when I have chosen to stop taking these medications or reduce them substantially have resulted in highly manic states that put me into the mental hospital again.  Last year, I had a different kind of experience.  Without changing my medications I became highly manic.  I knew what was happening but couldn't control it.  The mania was something that I experience normally as enhanced awareness at times, but to a greater degree than usual for me and for a more prolonged period.  I was seeing the world differently ... very differently.  Through all of my mental excursions, I am aware of what I am experiencing.  My reality becomes more immediate and intuition based, and far less rational.  There is a sense of being more of a part of the universe, and being aware of more.  It is a great feeling, one that I would like to feel more often and share with others.   The closest that I have been able to come to that is to engage in this expression.  Will that change some day?  Perhaps.  Perhaps not.  Regardless, I will live out my life as I must anyway. 

Enough of the past.  What would we express here and now?  The mania is starting to build again.  The frequency of musing is a direct sign of that.  Though when I get too manic, my mind races so fast that it is difficult to focus and capture what is coming forth.  It is better to be just a little manic or moderately manic, at least for me.  I don't know how others experience consciousness or how others relate to the source within.  My interactions with others have not been deep enough to find out such things.  Why?  This seems like such an important topic ... the nature of consciousness and how she expresses in our lives.  You would think that there would be volumes of information on it.  Yet, we collectively seem to have little understanding of the nature of mind, much less of consciousness.  The bottom line is that it is still a big mystery ... perhaps the grandest one there is.  Further, it may always be such. 

Well, I'm off on a vacation to France for a week.  Needless to say, I won't be musing while I'm there.  We'll see what adventures are in store.   And, we'll see what we are moved to do when we return.  Just after that comes my 50th birthday.  I'll literally be half a century old.  It seems that I should be doing something special for that.  At this point, I plan to be back at work that day.  But, plans can change.  One year, I took the day off and wrote for nearly 12 hours.  We'll just have to see what I am inspired to do this year.  The time seems ripe for change to manifest in a big way.  I'm ready for something new, something different ... and on many fronts.  It is a matter of allowing what is destined to unfold in my life, and being open to new possibilities.  The old has become stale.  It is time to be different so that my reality and experience can be different.  After all, these always reflect whom that we are.


7 April 2008

Well, I've been away for nearly 10 days, so there was a gap between musing 12 and musing 13 for the year.  Oh well, that happens sometimes.  Just got back from a wonderful trip to the South of France.  Foreign countries can be quite interesting, especially ones that are old and steeped in tradition.  It clearly is like being in a different world.  It is good being back however.  The driving in particular was hectic to say the least.  I'm ready to express again.  I'm looking forward to the changes that I know lie just ahead.  As always, where they will take me is unknown.  But, that is acceptable.  The unknown is interesting and fascinating.  Some might find it scary ... but no more so than some of the food on the menus in France.  Soaring in consciousness is fun ... perhaps the most fun thing that I do in my life.  In many respects, it is difficult for me to be happy and have a good time.  This expression is one notable exception.  Here I can be whom that I am.  The blank screen is my sounding board.  It allows me to see what consciousness would express through me.  Not only see, but record so that I can return to it at will and so that I can share what is expressed freely with others.  That is, if others are able to find it.  To date, it is not clear that this has occurred in large numbers.  Total page hits to the Beyond Imagination site are probably in the 100,000 range.  Given that some of the material has been posted since 1995 and that there are hundreds of "pages" of information available at the site, that is not a lot.  But, how many does it take to make a difference?  If we are able to assist even a small number of people to awaken so that they can more fully express spirit in flesh, we have done a great service.  Anyway, at the moment it does not really matter.  I express because I am moved by spirit to express.  That is sufficient.  It always has been.  Perhaps it always will be.  What happens as a result of capturing that expression is in spirits hands not mine.  Though, it seems that I am meant to have more of a role in disseminating this information in the future than I ever have had in the past.  Not that I haven't tried at times.  But, it is difficult for an extreme introvert to really do much of this.  That I express in this manner and share this expression is a stretch as it is.  But, what else am I to do.  There is a sense that all of this is coming forth for a reason ... a reason that is more than just to educate and entertain me personally.  Though the phrase for your eyes only has come up many times and the song by Sheena Easton by that title still haunts me when I hear it.

Tomorrow marks my 50th birthday.  Yes, one half century on the planet.  That is a biggee, especially given that I only expect to live for another two decades.  By current standards, in the US, that is not a ripe old age to live.  I still remember in the early nineties thinking that my mission would be complete and I would depart prior to the turn of the century.  Clearly, that did not occur, not by a long shot.  I have a tendency to get the timing of things wrong, especially when I have a personal interest in the outcome.  The bottom line is that we will see what happens as it unfolds, and whatever that is will be appropriate.  Life has a way of working out as it is meant to.  And, often it is not us determining how that is to be, at least not consciously.  That is OK.  Living in the moment, we can allow life to unfold through us, we can allow spirit to express through us.  And, truly, that is the only way to live, at least for me.  There is a fine range in which life operates between order and chaos.  Overall, my life is pretty orderly.  I do the same things, eat the same foods, drink the same drinks ...  However, my consciousness is much more chaotic.  It comes here to engage in this stream of consciousness expression.  But, even that is an act of bringing order out of the unknown, out of chaos. That is an interesting way of looking at things.  But, all creative acts possess that quality.  They give form to something that was unformed.  They manifest something that was unmanifest.  Hopefully, they do it in a way that moves others positively.  But, not all creative acts have this effect.  Do we need to govern what can be expressed in a free society?  Are we responsible to ensure that what we express does not offend others?  Somehow, that seems far too limiting.  New thoughts, radical thoughts, may disturb some people ... especially people set in their ways.  But, that does not make these thoughts bad necessarily.  Good or bad are moral assessments, often based on people's preconceived notions.  That is not a sufficient reason for evaluating such ideas.  Utility should be the yardstick by which we measure the value of an idea.  But, it is not so simple as that.  What do we use as criteria for assessing utility?  Does the idea serve people in a way that makes a positive difference in their lives?  Does the idea help people to know who they are and to better express that by serving others?  Does the idea make the infrastructures of the society more supportive of individual freedom?  Does the idea benefit the society or community as a whole?

It is not just ideas that must be evaluated but the whole process of making decisions to act.  Here, it is crucial that personal decisions be made not just on selfish reasons, but with consideration of the good for society or the group as well.  The greatest good comes when everyone wins ... not when we have winners and losers as most competitive situations demand.  Cooperation is the way of the future.  To the degree possible, we need to make it the way of the now as well.  That is not such a hard thing to do.  It is a matter of changing our focus from me to we.  That does not mean that we give up on our needs.  It just means that we find ways to meet them within a larger framework that includes helping others to meet their needs as well.  This can be done.  In fact, John Nash, proved that economically the collective results are superior in the 1950s.  He won the Nobel Prize for his discovery.  Yet, over half a century later, we are still not taught this so that we can apply it in our lives.  What does that say about the education system?  And, what does that say about the economic system, that it keeps us in the dark on such things.  Consumerism for the most part requires a focus on ME.  I just noticed that "me" is almost right in the middle of consumerism.  We've come a long way in this country and have a lot of stuff to show for it.  However, we are also quite wasteful overall of much that we have.  Perhaps wasteful enough that we will force ourselves to have a wake up call of severe proportions.  It doesn't have to be that bad.  We can choose to do things that turn the situation around.  But, will we do such things?  Europe is much more into conservation than we are in the US.  They have to be.  With gas at over $9 per gallon, there is a strong incentive for much smaller cars, recycling, and mass transit.  In a week in France, I only saw one SUV (a Toyota Landcruiser), and two full size pickups.  All of the other personal vehicles that I saw were small cars, and a good number of these were very small.  I would imagine that the average MPG exceeded 40 compared to closer to 20 here.  If the price of gasoline were to go up here to even close to the prices that the rest of the world pays, we would see much different decisions being made.  But, that is an external forcing function.  I don't know why we pay so little for gas.  Though, given how much the distribution of goods depends on transportation via trucks, the entire economy in the US would be severely impacted by any significant increases.


8 April 2008

My 50th birthday and no one noticed.  Oh well, what do I expect, few people know much about me.  I had good intentions.  I was going to take a few hours off from work today so that I could muse longer than normal.  But, the day got away from me without being able to do that.  That is OK.  We have a couple of hours to muse from home tonight.  It will be interesting to see what comes forth.  Half a century.  That is quite an occasion.  Yet, I don't feel any different.  I've been engaged in this stream of consciousness expression for over 15 years.  By age 70, I'll have been doing it for over half of my life.  That will have been quite an achievement.  In fact, what has been expressed to date is quite an achievement ... a testament to what spirit can do in our lives.  Though, the sense is that what is to come will far exceed what has come forth to date.  It is not that I have that much faith in me.  Rather, I have that much faith in consciousness as she expresses through me.  I don't really know what started all of this.  Suddenly, I began to type what came forth in a voice from a source deep within me.  Over about a six month period, the expression became a routine part of my life.  Though, what comes forth is anything but routine.  Here is where we get to express the extraordinary.  Here is where we get to soar in consciousness.  And my, how we love to soar.  This is what we are meant to do.  This is what makes our heart sing.  Here we get to be whom that we are in ways that we cannot be anywhere else.  And, is that not what life is all about?  Indeed, it is for me.  Though, it would help to be more engaged with others.  Most of my limited social interaction occurs at work.  I'm there an average of 50 hours per week.  But, only a small fraction of that time is spent in personal interaction.  Only a handful of people that I interact with have been exposed to any part of this expression.  And that's in over 11 years on the job.  Given how much time and effort that I put into this, and how much of me I put into this ... what does that say about the impression that I am leaving on the world?  Clearly, it is far less than it could be.  But, I am still reluctant to impose my will on anyone.  Why is that?  It seems to be a safeguard, somehow.  But, who does it save from what?  It saves me from having to be more outgoing in how I interact with the world.  But, is that really a good thing?  Or, is it something that limits me far more than I need to be limited?  Interesting questions.

Today marks the first day of the rest of my life.  I can fashion that to be anyway that I desire it to be.  I can continue to be isolated and alone.  Or, I can reach out and find ways to touch others.  It seems that it is time for much more of the later.  Though, I sense that I will always need my times of solitude.  That is how I recharge my batteries.  My preference is to be alone and to work alone.  But, not all of the time.  And, not as much as I have been of late.  Then, why don't I do what is necessary to change that.  Indeed, that is exactly what I am doing.  Little by little, I am engaging others more.  Though, it has not been enough to result in significant changes yet.  And, engaging others at work is still not conducive to factoring in my personal beliefs and reality.  These, I freely share here, but do not express verbally with others.  Why?  They are so much of whom that I am.  Why can I not find ways to share these with the others that are in my life?  To date, my interactions with others have not touched on these kinds of matters.  I have no indications that would tell me that others are open to such discussion.  Why?  Why have I not attracted such others into my life?  Why am I still so isolated?  Why is it so easy to express here, and not to express in person?  Why have I reached the age of 50 and not yet developed a close friendship or even a not so close friendship for that matter?  Someone said something to the effect to have a friend you must be a friend.  That seems to be the key.  To be a friend, one must care enough about another person to be there, to be present in that persons life.  That includes caring enough to have something to say to the other person ... to be able to engage in conversation.  This is not something that comes naturally for me.  Regardless, it seems that it is something I must learn to do if I am to change the reality that I experience.  And, this is something that I strongly desire.

It seems that on one's birthday ... especially on one's 50th birthday, one should get to have at least one wish come true.  But, what is it that I would wish for if I could only have one wish?  What do I desire more than anything else?  The first answer that came to mind was to be loved.  That struck me as an interesting answer.  Yet, indeed, that is what I long for more strongly than anything else.  My self-imposed isolation is keeping me from that feeling.  So, why do I continue to operate in that mode ... especially since it is counter to what I most strongly desire?  There is a lot of personal baggage that I carry, that we all carry.  I thought that I was free of much of this.  Being so isolated, I probably have far less baggage than most ... but, there is still a lot.  How do I free myself from all of this?  Especially from the negative parts?  It is high time to be happy.  It is high time to have fun in my life.  But, how do I do that?  What do I need to do differently?  What beliefs are holding me back from being all that I could be?  Lots of questions but not a lot of answers.  That is OK.  Generally, when we are able to ask the questions, the answers are forthcoming.  It is only a matter of time.

There is a strong sense that massive changes are coming soon, not only in my life, but in my world.  At first, I wrote the world, but something did not feel right about that.  Thinking about my trip to France last week, it is not so clear that the world is ready to change in major ways.  Some places have been essentially the same for centuries.  There is something special and good about that.  But, what about the new age, the Aquarian Age?  Will it not bring major changes to the world?  The sense is yes.  But, the timeframe is still uncertain.  Will it happen in my lifetime, in the next two decades?  Perhaps, perhaps not.  Regardless, there is still a strong sense that my life is to somehow have world impact.  Exactly how remains to be seen.  But, were I to reach the end of my life and not know that I have had such impact, I would be disappointed.  Yes, I expect a lot from myself.  Or, more correctly, I expect a lot from spirit expressing through me.  The past fifteen years have demonstrated what we can do together ... and what a surprise that has been.  What if we could expand this into cooperative endeavors that involve spirit expressing through many?  Just imagine what works could be done!  It literally sends shivers through my body.  Cooperative interdependence is the way to achieve great things.  We live in a cooperatively interdependent world ... most of us just don't know it.

What grand things do we envision could be done?  And, what would motivate people to do such things?  What could the world be?  What are we willing to do to make it so?  When are we as individuals going to take responsibility for the collective WE?  After all, unless we are willing to do our parts as individuals, how will the collective ever function effectively as a whole?  Is this not what the transformation to a new age all about ... moving from a ME focus to a WE focus?  Note that the word focus is important.  This does not mean to neglect the individual perspective, it just means that it needs to be placed secondary to the collective perspective.  Can we do this?  Will we choose to do this?  It seems that it will take some type of dramatic external factor for this to happen.  Is that likely to occur?  For many people, the present world is a pretty remarkable place.  There are many choices and many freedoms.  But, is that enough?  A saying comes to mind: none are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.  Are we truly free, even in this country?  Or, are we enslaved without knowing that we are?  In many ways, our economic system is one of the best in the world.  However, it also enslaves us.  In particular, it forces us to sell a substantial portion of our time and abilities to do the bidding of some master.  I would be free.  I would express whom that I am in service to spirit. 


9 April 2008

Another day, another musing.  This makes 15 for the year.  That is not great, but considering I did not start musing until a week into March and I was out on vacation for over a week, that's not bad.  We'll see how much we are moved to express in the days ahead.  It seems like it will be a lot once again ... but we never really know until it happens.  Oh well, what must be expressed will indeed be expressed.  Spirit sees to that.  In many ways, this is not something that I control.  I don't mind that.  It seems there are many things in my life over which I do not have conscious control.  That does not stop me from doing them.  As the observer, I get to watch all of this happen even as it happens.  I don't know how many people experience life in this fashion, as the observer observing not only what they are doing, but observing theirselves as the observer as well.  That does not change the fact that the only place that we can truly live and have a real impact is in the present.  The past is done ... we can only remember it.  The future is unformed ... we can only dream and plan what it might be.  It is only in the present where we have the power to choose and to act.  And, it is the choices that we make and the actions that we take that determine what we will experience.  It is that simple.  Yet, beliefs come into play as well.  Actions tend to produce results in accord with expectations.  Not always, but the tendency is there.  Unfortunately, most of us have conflicting expectations.  This results in uncertainty as to what result will come from any given action.  Conflicting expectations arise from conflicting beliefs.  Few of us have taken the time and expended the effort to master our beliefs.  I've been doing this personally for 35 years, and I have not come close to becoming a master.  Perhaps I never will.  But, you don't have to be a master to be effective.  There are only a few hundred golfers that are good enough for the PGA Tour.  And, a much smaller number than that win any of the master tournaments.  Yet, there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions of golfers who enjoy the game, many of whom are quite good at it.  This is true in most endeavors.

It takes a lot to be great at something.  A lot of talent and a lot of practice.  It is far easier to be good at something.  And often, good is good enough to make an activity enjoyable.  I would hope that I am great at what I do ... at least what I do here.  But, how would I really know?  Where does the feedback come that would tell me?  In many endeavors, competition provides that feedback.  This could be in terms of competition against others directly, or competition against some standard that is set for that activity such as par for a round of golf.  This expression is different, however.  It cannot be measured by how quickly it is produced, by how many words come forth, or even by the number of people who read it.  What matters is what impact it has on whom.  And that, is not something that is easily measured.  I have to believe that it is having an impact, even though the number of people reached is still relatively small.  I know that it has had a great impact on me personally.  In fact, an impact that has completely changed my life.  Yet, in many ways I am still the same as I was before the Beyond Imagination expression began.  I am still shy, solitary, and extremely introverted.  But, I have been moved to share millions of words, many of which are reflective of whom that I am.  That is a lot of sharing.  Yet, it is with an audience that is unseen.  And, much of what has been shared may not even have reached another soul.  That is a shame.  The whole purpose of sharing is to communicate something to or with others.  Without the communication, no real sharing has occurred.  Or has it?  If a tree falls in a forest, and there is no one there to hear it, it still makes a sound.  These words carry a vibration into the world even if no one is there to read them other than me.  Perhaps that needs to be enough.  The fact that I am there to witness what consciousness has brought forth is sufficient for the message to be recorded in the collective consciousness.  It only takes one.  It helps if there are many ... because the force is amplified greatly allowing manifestation to be influenced more quickly.  But, it only takes one to make something real.  That I am moved to capture this expression in this manner and share it provides the opportunity for there to be a greater impact over time.

What would I do next?  Yes, that is an important question to ask.  For, it is what we do that makes all the difference.  I would be whom that I am.  I would express what spirit would express through me.  I would engage in this stream of consciousness expression to the end of my days.  Why?  Because here I do something that I consider to be of great value.  But, of great value to whom?  Clearly to me.  But, I believe also to the world.  Why must what I do have importance to the world?  Why do I engage in such grandiose thinking?  I do it because that is what I am moved to do.  This is how I am moved to express.  Of course, what I do must have world import.  After all, is that not what building the foundations for a new world is all about?  I've known that this is the Beyond Imagination mission since the expression began.  That we have not come close to building these foundations yet does not matter.  There are still many years to go before my time on the planet is done.  We will complete what we came to do.  This is a role that we came to play.  More and more, it is becoming the only thing in my life that is truly important.  On the one hand, that is good.  On the other hand, that can make living in the present world difficult.  Though, Wayne's World is far from the present world that many experience.  I've been moved to share a great deal of that world.  But, I do it via writing, via a wall of millions of words.  Is that an effective way to share?  It seems that the answer is no.  If it were effective, there would have been far more feedback by now.  However, the bottom line is that it does not matter.  The process for engaging in this expression is effective.  It has allowed millions of words to come forth ... words which I have been moved to read multiple times.  The words and the ideas that they convey have value, great value.  But then, I am not an impartial evaluator.  After all, these words flowed forth through me.  That does not make them my words, however.  Or does it?  The books created from this expression all bear my name as the author.  And, when I asked early in the expression what to call the source of these words ... the answer that was given was Wayne.  There was no separate source identified.  Though, I have never consciously experienced this source to be me.  Further, when I read the Beyond Imagination works, they are new and fresh to me, even though I have read them multiple times before.  How can that be?  How can I not remember what has come forth through me?  That doesn't matter either.  The works are meant to impact me as they do.  Hopefully, they will impact others in a like manner.  Whether they do or not, I must go on, I must continue to allow the expression to come forth.

I consider myself to be extremely lucky to have such a relationship with the source within, with consciousness herself.  I don't know what I might have done to deserve all of this.  But, this is my life.  I would have it no other way.  Or would I?  Was I not saying just yesterday that my birthday wish was to be loved?  I don't consider myself loved by source or by consciousness.  Here, it seems that relationships with others need to be involved.  What do I need to be to develop such relationships?  At first I wrote to be, then I changed it to to do, then I realized it was correct to begin with as to be.  It is not what I am doing that keeps me from developing relationships, it is what I am being.  For the most part, I am still being a hermit.  This is in opposition to my stated birthday wish.  So, how would I be differently?  I read the book Happier Than God last week.  It said that to get what you want you must give it to others.  So, the starting point is to be loving to others.  But, what does it mean to be loving?  This is more than simply caring about others, way more.


10 April 2008

Didn't sleep at all last night.  That is usually a danger sign for me.  However, I made it through the day intact,  I'm a little tired, but not too bad.  I don't think that I'll have the same problem tonight.  So, what would come forth this evening?  We never really know until we see it flow forth.  That is OK.  The unknown plays a major role in my life.  I suspect that it always will.  I am fascinated by it ... especially in the realm of consciousness.  This expression is my doorway into that unknown.  Here is where I get to speak with a voice that is not mine.  Moreover, I get to do that on a regular basis.  How many people are fortunate enough to engage in such expression?  Yes, I consider myself fortunate indeed.  What would I do this day to make a difference?  Obviously, I chose to come here once again.  But, will that truly make a difference.  At the very least, it will make a difference to me.  I get to see another aspect of consciousness expressing through me.  But, will what is expressed be of value?  It is always of value, and perhaps of more value than we know.  Creative expression is always worth it.  It is always worth the energy and attention that goes into it.  But, what makes something "creative"?  For me, it needs to engage the intuition, the intuitive side of us ... to allow us to do more than we could otherwise do.

The pace is slower than normal tonight.  The tiredness is having its impact.  Yet, I am moved to go on and continue none the less.  As it should be.  Even from a tired state, the opportunity for gems to be expressed is still there.  And, that is what I most crave ... uncovering gems and spiritual truths.  Generally, I can count on this expression to bring forth at least one and often many quotable passages.  That is just how it is.  Life is about making a statement via our presence.  This can be a statement to ourselves, to others, or even to the world.  It is up to us.  But, a statement we will make even if we choose to remain silent.  Here, in this expression, we make a lot of statements ... mostly declarative ones.  Though, we also ask a lot of questions.  If fact, we ask more questions since this expression began than I ever asked before.  Questions were not my main way of gathering knowledge when I was growing up.  I read a lot, but I did not question.  Even in school, I rarely asked anything.  Now, questions are a way of life.  Questions allow me to focus on what I most need to know.  Further, questions are signs that we are ready to know the answers to those very questions.  Though, there are many things that are unknown and potentially unknowable.  What is the nature of consciousness?  What is life?  How does intuition work?  All of these fall in that category.  Others, such as what is my destiny can be elusive, especially if we are trying to know it in advance.  Our destiny will be unveiled over time.  It is not for us to know things too far in advance of NOW.  Plan though we might, the universe has a fate in store for us that may be far beyond our wildest dreams.

There is still a sense that massive changes are forthcoming in my life and my world.  It is not clear whether these will be reflected in the consensus world or not.  Though, that does not really matter.  My life and my world are the containers in which I experience my reality.  From what I can tell, these are vastly different than what others experience.  But, I do not generally make comparisons with others.  What matters is whom that we are versus whom that we could be.  The slogan be all that you can be strikes a strong chord within me.  This is the directive from spirit.  This is what sends shivers through my body.  But, what does it take to do this ... to be this?  How do we know when we are performing at our best?  We just know.  The feeling that we have is obvious.  Also, we experience joy in what we are doing. 

The past, the present, the future ... we can only live in one of these at any one time.  Yet, of these, the present is the only one where we wield any power.  It is only in the NOW that we can take action to manifest change in our lives.  Many people find change unsettling.  Personally, I have areas of my life that are basically fixed and other areas that are more flexible.  I like to think that flexibility of consciousness is the greatest kind of flexibility.  And, I do so love to soar in consciousness.  But, flexibility of mind, and of body are also important.


11 April 2008

We're getting an earlier start on musing today than normal.  That is appropriate for a Friday.  I slept well last night, so I am feeling fine again.  It will be interesting to see where consciousness takes us.  We never really know where this stream of consciousness will lead.  That is OK.  It is all a wonderful surprise.  Life is meant to be an adventure.  For me, the biggest adventures are adventures in consciousness.  These are the kinds that blow me away.  All else pales by comparison.  Then, I pay a lot of attention to the things that consciousness brings into my life.  Perhaps my focus is too single-minded.  What can I say.  It is what it is.  Metaphysics plays a major role in my life.  I am consumed by it.  I have been for quite some time.  You might even say it is an obsession for me.  At times, the obsession has been quite extreme ... enough to question my very sanity.  But generally, it is mild to moderate, hence acceptable.  I would live a life of spirit.  That is all that really matters to me.  And, I would do it my way, different though that may be.  That is OK.  We are all unique expressions of spirit.  We just happen to be expressions of spirit in flesh at the moment.  It seems that the most we can be is to serve as a vessel through which spirit can do her works.  Everything is spirit in expression.  All works are spiritual works.  However, when we truly realize this and accept it, it allows us to operate at a new and higher level of expression.  We are then able to do more than we ever thought possible.  And, we are able to do things beyond which we have the training and knowledge to do.  We are able to tap into something far greater and grander than we are as individuals.  We tap into source, into the ONE consciousness herself.  And, when we do this, untold miracles become possible.  Yes, source is that powerful.  And, attuned to source, we are that powerful.  However, it is important to use this power in service.  Perhaps, there are safeguards so that this is the only way it can be used.  We can serve in many ways.  It is important to find those ways that employ the most of our abilities and talents.  For then, our service is the greatest that it can be ... and we are most likely to enjoy doing it.

We have stated that the social contract is simply expressed:

From each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs.

Yes, that is communism, pure and simple.  However, no society of which I am aware has been able to establish an infrastructure supportive of manifesting this ideal social contract.  The so called communist countries don't even come close.  But, they primarily operate as communist governments and political systems.  To enact such a contract is difficult.  We must enable people to know their abilities and to develop them.  Further, we must enable people to know their needs.  Needs exist on many levels: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.  And, both abilities and needs are different for each individual because each individual is unique.  Establishing the foundations for a new world that recognizes this will not be an easy task.  But, it is something that must be done.  Our present way of being is extremely wasteful of resources, especially human resources.  This needs to come to an end.  The sooner, the better.  I would hope that there are others out there who are thinking along similar lines, who realize that the world is ONE community spanning the planet, and who realize that a social contract is how we define how individuals relate within a society.  In the US, we have no such contract.  We are effectively on our own to discover our talents and find ways to employ them that allow us to meet what we need and what we desire.  The economic system provides a mechanism for exchanging our goods and/or services for the goods and services that we need.  However, commercialism is rampant.  Companies employ psychological tools to convince us that we need their goods and services whether we really need them or not.  In addition, the free market allows sellers to sell whatever people are willing to buy.  It is not clear that this is in the best interest of the collective society.  But, it seems to be one of the best in existence.

There are many signs that the system is failing however.  We have homeless people in this country.  Adequate shelter should be a right.  We have starving people in this country at the same time that we dump large quantities of food and even pay for farmers not to grow certain crops.  There is something seriously wrong about that.  Many social systems are in trouble due to a lack of sufficient resources to provide the services that are needed by people.  Our schools fail to teach people what they need to know to effectively function in society.  Jobs, for the most part, are not tailored to the individuals that perform them.  There are a multitude of techniques for categorizing people and providing them with insight as to whom that they are, but these are not used to enable people to optimize their contribution and service to society.  How do we turn things around?  How do we establish the infrastructure needed to allow people to serve society effectively in return for having their needs met efficiently?  Who is responsible for ensuring that the whole is functioning elegantly and serving everyone?  Is that not the goal?  I consider this to be my responsibility.  But, that is a lot for anyone to take on.  Clearly, this is something that many must be employed to do.  But, the present system works for vast numbers of people in this country.  They see that they are free to get enough of what they want to be satisfied with the status quo.  And, they don't see anyone trying to change things in a major way that will make a difference.  So, what motivation is there for change?  What is lacking that requires us to rethink how society functions and that would force us to establish a social contract such as the one expressed above?  When we look at the world as a whole, things are even more dismal, especially for people in the developing and undeveloped countries.  But, who is responsible for ensuring that the world is served effectively and efficiently and that all countries are treated fairly?

Fair treatment does not necessarily arise from people coming to agreement on things.  This is especially true when the people in power are a small minority.  Being in a position of power often tips the scales, allowing the outcome to be most favorable to those in power.  This is unfair, but it is prevalent.  WIN/WIN behavior is on the rise, but still relatively rare.  How do we fix this?  The United Nations was established as a New World Order.  There were high hopes that it would help to make the world a better place through getting nations to understand the needs of each other and work to resolve any problems among nations.  It is not clear how successful this has been.  The amount of foreign aid funded by the US is less than one percent of our gross national product.  Given that we are one of the richest nations in the world, that seems to be almost criminal.  Yet, such it is.  I don't even want to think about how many resources go into weapons, defense, and conducting wars.  When will we learn that peace is always a better answer?  When will we learn that hatred brings only harm, not only to others but to ourselves?  When will we learn that we are all brothers/sisters on this spaceship that we call Earth?  When will we learn that we are all ONE, that what we do to others we do to ourself?  These are simple truths that we must all learn.  And, we will learn them someday.  My hope is that this day comes soon ... very soon!

In this expression, I get the ball rolling.  But, I can only push it so far.  The ideas must make it into the minds of others for the ideas to have their intended impact.  Collective action is required to establish major social change.  And, here, we are not talking about evolutionary change ... but revolutionary change.  Evolution happens far too slowly.  We are in need of a breakpoint.  Breakpoints are such that what comes after has no bearing or relationship to what came before.  I've experienced such breakpoints several times personally.  However, here we are talking about experiencing one collectively.  My sense is that it is indeed time for that to happen.  But, it is not clear that dissatisfaction with the present society is sufficient to foster or support a revolution.  What we are seeking is a revolution in consciousness.  We are seeking a breakpoint that changes peoples perception of how they see themselves, others, society, and the world.  I don't know enough about history to know if or when such breakpoints may have happened before.  Also, I don't know if there is anything that I can do to facilitate a breakpoint.  Though, I would hope that this very expression is a way to foster that.  We'll see in time.

What would we address next?  The social contract is a big thing.  It is something that I believe needs to be established with all of my heart.  However, it requires a leap.  We have to start taking responsibility collectively for meeting the needs of every individual, not only in this country but in the world.  That is a huge responsibility.  But, collectively, we have the time and resources to do amazing things.  No problem is so difficult that we can't find ways to overcome it.  No challenge is too great that we can't rise to achieve it.  Yes, spirit working through us can do grand things.  We have only to cooperate and do our share by giving of ourself in service somehow.  We need to get the best and the brightest among us focused on doing the things that provide the most benefit to all of us.  This means establishing better priorities for where we spend our funding.  The bottom line is that resources require funding.  Where we apply the bucks, we get results. This is especially true for where we apply the big bucks.

I don't believe that I've gravitated to my rightful place in the world.  If I had, I would feel differently.  I would feel that my abilities were being used far more fully than they are.  And, I would feel that the service that I was providing was greater than it has been.  At present, there is still some dissatisfaction with my life.  I would change that.  I long to be happy.  I long to be more productively engaged for greater portions of my time.  What is stopping me from doing that now?  I have a good three hours per day of free time during the week and more on weekends.  Why is that not enough to do what I need to do?   In 2002 and 2003, it was.  I was using nearly all of it in this expression.  But, there is a sense that even though it is published and available on the WWW, it is not really going anywhere.  For your eyes only, only for you.  That sentence still haunts me.  Could all of this be for my eyes only?  If so, for what purpose am I being trained in this manner?  If this expression is not the service that I am here to provide, then what is?  Interesting, that is the first time that I have asked that particular question. I've always assumed that engaging in this expression was my means of providing service to the world.  No, it is not a service that I am paid for monetarily.  But, there is a great deal of satisfaction that comes from being engaged in doing this and from reading what comes forth.  That alone is worth doing it.  Yet, I have always seen this expression as something that could survive me ... continuing to do its work long after I am gone.  But, what is its work?  I don't really know.  My sense is that only time will tell.  However, if it is only to provide training for me, then there must be some position that I am training for that is quite different from my present job.  It is not enough for me to be good at what I do.  My spirit demands more, much more.


14 April 2008

Had good intentions to start musing earlier but was interrupted for awhile.  Oh well, that's how it goes sometimes.  We muse when we can.  And, what must be expressed will indeed be expressed.  That is how it has been since this expression first started to come forth.  Perhaps, that is how it will always be.  I could do much worse than allowing spirit to speak through me as she does.  I still find this expression to be the most important part of my existence.  Yes, that is saying a lot.  But, indeed, that is how I feel.  At the very least, what I do here has value ... value to me, and hopefully value to the world.  Though, what value it has to the world is not for me to determine.  That will come from the impact that these works have on others.  But, am I really reaching others in anywhere near the quantities necessary to have a strong beneficial impact?  The sense is no, I am not yet doing this.  Yet, is it even something that I am responsible to do?  The bottom line is that I don't really know.  To date, it has always seemed sufficient to allow this stream of consciousness to come forth, and to share it by posting it to the Beyond Imagination site and by publishing it in books.  But, is this really enough.  Page hits to information posted at Beyond Imagination are still relatively meager, and book sales are nearly nonexistent.  So, the information isn't really getting out.  For your eyes only, only for you.  You see what no one else can see.  Can that be true?  It still haunts me, even after over 15 years of doing this.  What does it say about consciousness if all of this is done solely for my benefit?  What does it really say?  For one thing, I am incredibly special to be so blessed.  That consciousness could be so concerned about any one person to bring forth all of this, literally millions of words, is phenomenal.  I feel extremely grateful to be who I have become.  And, much of that is a direct result of what this expression has brought into my life.  If consciousness could do all of this for me, what great things can she do in your life as well?  We have only to offer our time and talents in her service.  That is not so hard to do.  It is a matter of developing our intuition and trusting what it tells us.  It is a matter of doing what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it ... trusting that consciousness knows what she has in store for us.

Yes, I trust consciousness ... a great deal.  But then, I have experienced what she can express through me for over 4000 hours to date.  That is a lot of time to spend in any endeavor.  That is the equivalent of two years of full time work.  Not bad for just over 15 years of elapsed time.  Spread over 15 years, that is around 266 hours per year, just over a tithe of my work time.  Tithing is a good thing.  If more of us did this, just think of the beneficial force that would be unleashed in the world.  Actually, 4000 hours is probably conservative.  It could easily be in excess of 5000.  That would put the average expression at roughly one hour per day.  Given that there have been several years with fewer than a dozen musings, and there have been many days with no expression, an average of one hour per day is quite an accomplishment.  This is especially true since I can go back to any part of that expression and find things that are new and fresh, things that move me deeply.  And, I'm not one to be moved deeply ... except by some of the greatest quotes of the greatest minds over the ages.  When all is said and done, will I find my place in such august company?  I can only hope that such would be the case.  But, it could also be that I was some obscure writer spanning from the end of the 20th century into the early decades of the 21st century.  That would seem to be a waste of all of this energy and expression.  But, many artists suffer such fates ... with their works going unappreciated until after they are gone.  For now, it is still enough for me to express in this manner.  I know that I am an instrument being played by spirit.  And, gladly I serve in this capacity.  I trust that she plays me for a reason ... that the message coming forth is meant to reach people.  And, when the time is right, it will.  I know that.  But, sometimes the waiting is difficult.  It is as it must be.  So, it has always been.  For those touched by spirit, it seems different rules apply.  However, what those are seem to be something that we must discover on our own.  Some rules are hard and cannot be broken, others are soft and can be questioned and even bent as needed.  But, when bending rules, we need to be sure that we are not operating out of self-interest, at least not self-interest alone.  Questioning is very enlightened behavior.  We need to do more of this and be willing to shake up the status quo.  But, as we do this, we need to take full responsibility for both what we choose to do and what we choose not to do.  Responsibility can be a difficult thing to bear.  As a result, many shirk it.  But, with responsibility comes the opportunity to do things that truly make a difference.  We are responsible for our experience, period.  Each and every one of us chooses that experience, either consciously or at other than conscious levels.  It behooves us to learn how we do this, and to apply what we learn to make masterpieces of our lives.  We can do this.  In many ways, as spirit in flesh, it is our very birthright.  However, the foundations of the present society and world are not very supportive of enabling us to do this.  We can change that.  And, we can do it quickly.  It is a matter of planting the right seeds, the right ideals, in the minds and hearts of a sufficient number of people.  How much is sufficient?  I don't really know.  Perhaps dozens, hundreds, or maybe even thousands.  However, it is a small percentage of the population of the world.  It doesn't take huge armies to generate great change.  But, it does take the right ideas disseminated to enough people to make a difference.  And, making a difference is what it is all about ... to ourselves, to others, to our society, to our world ... and not necessarily in that order.

We can be the people that create a new world order.  Clearly, such is within our reach and our grasp.  But it will only happen if we do something to make it so.  This we can do.  And, we can do so in as little as a generation.  Given that I don't expect to live much longer than that, it is something that we can do within my lifetime.  That is good.  I came specifically to help build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.  I've know this since the Beyond Imagination expression began over 15 years ago.  Will I accomplish what I came to do?  My sense at this point anyway, is yes definitely.  What makes me so sure of this?  For one thing, this very expression.  Seeing what consciousness has produced in my life to date gives me great hope in what we can achieve together in another 20 years.  Will it be as I have envisioned it.  Probably not exactly, but the ideals that have been expressed here are sound.  I believe that they will withstand the test of time.  Though, only time will tell for certain.  But, what will be in 20 years is not of concern here and now.  Right here, right now, we must do as we are moved to do and do it to the best of our abilities.  I believe that is what I am doing when engaged in this expression.  I could be wrong, however.  I have been wrong before.  But, everything within me says that is not the case now.  We are engaged in spirit's work.  This is the stuff of inspiration ... this is beyond imagination.  This is far grander than I would ever have imagined to be possible in my first 34 years on the planet.  Just last week, we turned 50, half a century.  I am starting to feel old.  But, this is also a time to be wise.  I have always felt myself to be an old soul, perhaps even a transcendental one.  It seems that it is time to fully live up to that.  The world is in need of what I have to offer.  So, how do I find ways to get this offering in front of those who might be served by it.  Expression is meant to communicate something to someone or to some group.  That applies to this expression.  Yet, to date, it seems the communication has only been to me.  Hmm ... so how do we fix that?  Is this something that I need to do something to change, or is this something that I need to wait for spirit's timing on?  These two courses of action are very different.


15 April 2008

Another day, another musing.  I like it like that.  There is nothing that I can imagine that would be a better use of my time.  This expression is that important and that valuable to me.  It seems that it should be to others as well, but it is not clear that such is the case.  Oh well.  It is what it is.  I am moved to come here to express nonetheless.  What comes of this is literally in spirit's hands.  But are not my hands spirit's hands as well?  After all, spirit can only do her works through us.  We have to volunteer our services, or the work will simply not be done.  That is an interesting way of looking at things.  But, such is how it is.  Spiritual work is volunteer work.  And, hopefully, it is a labor of love.  Otherwise, we should not be doing it.  So much added effectivity comes into play when we love what we do.  It transforms the work into play.  And playing is something that we could all use a lot more of in our lives.  Just noticed, the day is 15 Apr ... Tax Day in this country.  While we are taxed pretty heavily, it is still far less than many of the developed countries of the world.  The question is whether we get sufficient value in terms of goods and services for the taxes that we pay.  Governments are notorious for being wasteful bureaucracies.  In the 1990s, Al Gore generated a report on Reinventing Government that focused on how we transform government agencies and offices into true service oriented organizations.  The report was good.  Whether it was implemented is another question entirely.  From the limited exposure to governmental organization that I've had since then, it is not clear that things have gotten better.  Then again, I'm not really in a position to know.  However, we still have homeless people, unemployed people, and starving people ... even in this country.  So, something is not working.  But, who has the responsibility to attempt to cure these ills?  Why do we permit such suffering in a land of plenty?  Perhaps it is because no one or no organization has been given the authority and responsibility to do anything.  Yet, do we not all suffer when the least of us suffer?  Are we not responsible to look after and care for one another?  Is that not one of the things that a society does?

It seems that it all comes down to resources.  Where we expend attention and resources, we get results.  Look around, this happens everywhere.  For several decades, science and technology have received the funding and the resources.  And, look at the great improvements that have resulted in our country and the world.  As little as a hundred years ago, the world was a very different place.  Just imagine all of the changes that people near 100 have seen in their lifetimes.  For that matter, I'm only 50, half of that, and the world has changed dramatically in my lifetime.  The very WWW where this expression is posted has only been around for two decades, and has grown greatly since I first posted the Beyond Imagination material 13 years ago.  But, for all of the changes, are our lives truly better?  They are busier, for sure.  And, we have a lot more gadgets, especially for communications.  But, do these make our lives better?  On that topic, who is responsible for evaluating whether resources are being applied for the greatest good of society?  Who is best equipped to perform such a service?  Who receives the appropriate training to do this?  Nothing in my experience has provided anything close to answers to such questions as these.  Yet, I am moved to ask them anyway.  If we don't evaluate the impact of our investments on our lives, where is the feedback loop that could result in better choices?  Indeed, feedback is that important.  Without it, we are running open loop, and have no idea of where things will lead.  That is OK sometimes.  We have to venture into the unknown sometimes to see where it will take us.  But, doing this for over a century may just be too much.  At times, it seems that change is happening in our world faster than the ability of society to deal with it.  For those who embrace change, perhaps it is not happening fast enough.  But, for many coping with such changes is difficult at best.  Computers are a case in point.  They are literally outdated in as little as three years.  Fortunately, they are relatively inexpensive.  Otherwise, this would be a much bigger problem than it is.

What will I be doing one year from now ... five years from now?  Hopefully, the answer is not what I am doing today.  Yet, I don't see what will cause a major change in what I am doing or experiencing.  I have been expressing in this manner since 1993.  That is a long time, closing in on a third of my life and half of my adult life.  At 50, I consider myself to be old.  Though, it is not clear that I have been young for quite some time.  A year from now is an eternity of moments, yet I know overall, the sum of those moments will pass quickly.  The present pace and frequency of musing suggests that I will have something substantial to show for both the first year and the five years.  But, is that enough?  Something within me screams no, that is not enough.  My spirit demands more, much more, and I will have it, one way or another.  Yes, there is something different about the energy now.  I have been desirous of change many times in the past ... generally to no avail.  But, here and now, something is different.  I long to be something that I have not been.  I long to experience things beyond which I have experienced.  Will these things come to pass?  Will I become something more and experience something grander?  One can always hope.  But, is hope enough?  The answer from within is NO.  Hope is not enough.  For change to manifest, we must have belief and expectancy.  We must be able to envision what it is that we wish to be and experience.  To date, I have not really done this.  I have been content to come here to express whatever would come forth via this stream of consciousness.  But, that is no longer enough for me.  I need to live in accord with what has come forth.  I need to be all that I can be and demonstrate this firsthand in all that I do.  That should not be hard.  It is time to make the masterpiece of my life that it can be.  It is time to stop doing the bidding of any prince and start making my own way in the world.  16 years ago, I generated some New Years resolutions that put me precisely on that path.  But, within a year, I had tumbled badly after having the goal clearly within my reach.  I had not made any resolutions before then and have not chosen to make them since.  I was content to do as I was moved by spirit to do.  Now, the sense is that spirit is moving me to such a state of dissatisfaction that it is forcing me to reach out for more.  What will come into my life as a result remains to be seen.  But, I fully expect it to be both remarkable and quick.  That is just how things happen in my life.  Though, I have felt that major changes were immanent before, only to see time pass without the manifesting of the changes.  It is important to be clear in our expectations, but not so firm that there is no room for spirit to bring something equivalent or better into our lives.  What is different about this time?   I don't know exactly.  There is just a sense of urgency that will not go away.  It almost borders on desperation.  I just can't see myself doing what I am currently doing indefinitely.  This applies most to my job.  It is a good job and pays decently.  But, I can't get over the feeling that I am selling my time and services in a manner that makes me a prostitute or a slave.  I need the income and have not been able to figure out how else to earn what I need in a manner more conducive to my wellbeing.  If I don't do something differently, I can see myself trapped here ... easily for one year, and probably for five.  That is not the way that I choose to spend the precious time of my life.  And, it is after all my choice to make.

As little as five years ago, I was musing nearly everyday, and was sure that the time for my liberation was at hand.  This feeling lasted for nearly two years through 2002 and 2003.  And, then, the rug was pulled out from under me and there was a four plus year slumber.  It was as if I were in a holding pattern.  Now, I've awakened again.  I'm optimistic about being able to change in a way that makes a dramatic difference.  And, I welcome changes in my life.  In particular, big changes.  Somehow, it really seems OK now, in a way it has never been before.  Though, it is not clear what specific changes will come or how they will be enabled.  It seems to be a matter of the law of attraction.  What we are attracts what we experience.  If we want to experience something different, we need to change something about whom that we are.  Our experience is a direct reflection of us.  It ever seeks to mirror whom that we are both individually and collectively.

So, whom would I be?  And, how is that different from whom that I am in the moment?  Very good questions.  But, the first question presupposes a time in the future by its very language.  The soul only understands the present, what I am here and now.  Further, I am what I say that I am.  There is no one to question or doubt that.  Many years ago, I was moved to express many I AM statements that defined who I was at the time.  I still remember that the first of these was I am the Hermit, the mit of Her, the glove that she wears.  First and foremost, this is how I saw myself.  In many respects, I still do, especially when engaged in this stream of consciousness expression.  Though, hermit has other connotations that lead to a life of self-imposed isolation.  This isolation is not conducive to meeting and interacting with others in meaningful ways.  When am I going to see myself in a different light?  Note, giving up the expression, has not led to me being any more social.  From 2004 through 2007, the expression was minimal ... yet, so were my interactions with others.  So, what does it take for me to become more social?  For one thing, I have to desire that.  For another thing, I need to make such interactions important to me personally.  Am I ready to do this?  Part of me says yes ... but another part of me says no way.  Hmm ... with such conflict, why does it surprise me that I keep my hermit ways?  To be honest, it does not surprise me in the least.  I carry whom that I am with a mark of distinction.  I am proud of it, perhaps too proud for my own good.  Though, over the past several months, there are chinks starting to appear in the armor.  I am interacting with others far more at work than I used to, and am even having some personal interactions.  That is new ground for me, but I seem to be holding my own, and even enjoying it at times.  Thus far, they have only been baby steps however.  But, I've operated as a hermit, isolated from others since I was a young kid.  We can't expect miracles to happen overnight .. or can we?


16 April 2008

We are off to a good start this week.  That is good.  This musing is important ... even if it isn't reaching many people yet.  It reaches me and touches me deeply.  That alone, is reason enough to continue doing it.  Besides, I enjoy it and I am moved to do it.  How could I resist?  Consciousness brings such incredible richness to my life.  How could I not serve her in this manner?  This stream of consciousness is mysterious and magical.  I know not how it functions or from whence it flows.  Yes, I call the origination point the source within.  But, I only know that source by what flows forth.  And, everything that I am tells me that this source is not me.  Yes, I am instrumental to this expression ... but only as the vessel through which it is expressed.  Such it has been for going on 16 years.  Perhaps, such it will be until the end of my days.  I can only hope, and do what I am moved to do to the best of my ability.  That is all that is ever asked of anyone.  Though, we are each here for a purpose or purposes, and there is a reason that we exist here and now.  Generally, that reason is to be of service to others in some capacity.  This is where selfish thinking comes to an end.  That does not mean relinquishing our rights and our needs.  It does mean embracing more holistic thinking in our choices and decisions.  It is time for the ME generation to become the WE generation.  All this requires is a transformation of focus.  Further, we must realize that when we do this, collectively we enable our individual needs to be met more efficiently and elegantly.  When we compete, often we are wasteful of resources.  When we cooperate, we can achieve much better results for the whole.  That doesn't mean that competition doesn't have a place in society.  It just means that we need to be enlightened in when and how we apply it and ensure that any lessons learned are passed on to all.  That means sharing of information, or technology, or results among competitors so that everyone can perform better the next time.  We need to get away from a winners and losers mentality.  The infrastructures in society need to be supportive of everyone winning ... at least in the things that count the most.

Change, massive change ... there is a strong sense of this being immediately on the horizon, not only for me personally, but for the world.  Will this change be in line with some of the principles and ideals that have been expressed here?  I believe the answer to be yes.  But, just how true to these ideals remain uncertain.  Something like this, or something better will manifest ... I am sure of that.  What has come forth is the best that I could bring forth.  Whether it is correct or not depends on how much of me got in the way of spirit expressing through me.  My assessment of the material is that it is quite sound and independent of my biases.  But then, that is difficult to judge.  The bottom line is utility.  Does what is expressed help you in making your life and the lives of those you touch better in some way?  For me, the answer is a resounding yes.  But, I can only answer for myself and I have not received sufficient feedback to know if and how more than a couple of dozen others are impacted.  That is in over 13 years of requesting feedback.  But, that does not deter me in my quest.  I am the 48:The Man in Search of More.  And, this expression is my chief way of seeking and finding more.  4/8 is my birthday as well.  It is amazing how a few numbers and names associated with us can convey so much meaning.  We live in a symbolic world, a world that is rich in meaning everywhere that we look.  But, most of us are blind to much of this meaning embedded in everything that we experience.  At several times in my life since 1993, nearly every number that entered my awareness conveyed meaning.  Of course, I was highly manic at those times.  But, literally the world that I experienced, the reality that I experienced, was different.  I wasn't living in the consensus world.  For that matter, it didn't appear that anyone else was living in my world.  This has softened quite a bit.  I still notice the meaning of numbers on occasion ... but it doesn't carry me away to extremes anymore.  I've reached a sort of equilibrium.  I'm not clear that I like it.  But, it is what it is.  Can I change it?  Definitely.  But, the larger question is what would I change it to?  Reality creation is what we do.  Most do this other than consciously, but some do it consciously.  And, some do this more effectively than others.  I only have a general idea of what I desire to create and experience in my life.  What I desire to create and experience in the world is far more defined.  It has been revealed here in this expression time and time again.  I just don't know how to manifest it.  But, the good news is that it is not for me to manifest it.  Spirit, herself, is the overall creator here.  She will engage us collectively to do her works in the manner that they need to be done.  We, as individuals, have only to play our roles and do our parts to the best of our ability.  As we do this, the synergy will be created that allows the world to be transformed.  It is only a matter of time.  But, is there anything else that we can do to facilitate the process?  The sense is yes, there is a lot that we can do.  Most of it involves knowing thyself, so that we can operate on all of our cylinders so to speak.  To be the best that we can be, it helps to know whom that we are.  The training, methods, techniques, ideas, and processes to do that are readily available.  They have been developed over untold ages.  It is a matter of finding the ones that work for us, and applying ourselves appropriately.  Many of these appear in the guise of New Age or Metaphysics or Occult.  Some cross over into Self-Help or Spiritual or Psychology.  Some books in these areas have even reached the status of bestsellers.  Yes, the times are a changing.  Indeed, they are.

So, what next?  The more appropriate question is: what now?  In the moment, we do what we are moved to do in the moment.  Right now, that is to bring forth this stream of consciousness, this record of consciousness expressing in the life of one person.  Why does one person matter among the 6 billion plus on the planet?  Why is this particular record so important?  It is important because someone cares enough to capture it and share it in this fashion.  It is important because it provides an example of the incredible creativity of consciousness as it manifests through us.  It is important because it makes a difference in at least one life ... and perhaps will make a difference in many lives over time.  This is as close to automatic writing as I am capable of producing.  I allow it to flow forth from within as it will.  I don't control it, or edit it, or rearrange it, or alter it in anyway.  The bottom line is that it is what it is.  I make no airs about it.  If it serves you, great.  If not, feel free to abandon it and go elsewhere.  My hope is that seeing what is shared so freely here will encourage you to find ways to share of whom that you are.  When we share in such a fashion, everyone that we grace with our touch benefits greatly.  After all, life is about sharing.  And, the greatest thing that we can share is whom that we are.  For, as souls enfleshed, that is a very grand thing indeed.  We are all grand, not by birthright, but by creation as souls.  We are eternal, immortal, omnipotent and omnipresent.  We have always been such.  It is a matter of remembering whom that we truly are, and not being so focused on the limitation within the present illusion we call reality.  Wow!  That is saying a lot.  But, how do we truly realize this?  How do we awaken to the awareness of whom that we are as souls?  Philosophers have asked such questions for millennia.  And, some, may have found the answers to these questions.  It is time for this to become more widespread ... and for those who know to teach of what they know to others.  The bottom line is that it doesn't have to cost much to do this.  With the mass media in place, the technology is there to reach tens of millions or more at one time.  We just need to apply it and make the content fun, interesting, and entertaining.  We know how to do this.  But, how will the entertainment industry be moved to create the shows, movies, and songs that educate us and motivate us to do greater things with our lives?  Clearly, the creative talent is already there.  But, how do we apply it in ways that better serve the collective needs?

Surely, I am not the only one asking such questions.  But, the entertainment industry is motivated by what people are willing to watch, listen to, and buy.  How does the collective know what it is in most need of?  The bottom line is that it doesn't.  But then, who should decide what is in the best interest of society?  It is not clear that the free market does this effectively.  Unfortunately, no other economic system seems to do this better.  We have stated here many times that the social contract should be:

from each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs

Yes, that is communism, pure and simple.  But, communism is a dirty word in this country.  In fact, we have been the enemy of most communist countries for nearly a century.  However, here we are not addressing communism as a government, or as an economic system.  We are addressing it as a contract between society and its individual members.  It expresses what the individual owes to society and what the individual can expect in return.  This is a novel concept.  It is not clear that any society in the world has such a contract among its members.  Why?  How is it such that one of the most important relationships that we have in the world ... the one between the individual and the society of which he/she is part ... is not defined?  In a world that is interdependent, this seems to be a necessity, along with clearly defined contracts between various societies.  How do we expect our society and the world to function elegantly is there are no rules that govern our interactions and expectations?  But, what about liberty ... individual freedom?  We can still be free and live within the operating constraints of a society.  In fact, we might even have more free time and more resources at our disposal if the society was operating more elegantly.  And, when it comes down to it, is that not what we are seeking ... more free time and the ability to enjoy that time.  Actually, it's not only that ... but, it's the ability to get our needs met on all levels: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.  But, to do this we must give of ourselves, of our abilities, in service to society.  That is our part of the contract.  It is not asking for us to give anything more than whom that we are and what we can do.  Such is the beauty of it.  The current economic system and social infrastructure does not come close to achieving this.  Not here, not anywhere of which I am aware.  In fact, the so-called communist countries seem to be further from this than we are.  That does not mean that this is not the ideal social contract.  It just means that no attempts to achieve it to date have even come close to achieving it.  However, what has happened historically, has no bearing on what can happen now.  We can embrace any ideal at any time.  All that we have to do is create the infrastructure, the foundations, that allow the ideal to manifest.  Yes, it is that simple.  If we can envision a society that operates in accord with this ideal, then we can manifest it.


17 April 2008

Here we go again, expressing what consciousness would bring forth through us.  We are ever engaged in this dance of consciousness ... and what a dance it is.  How could I ask for anything more or better to come forth.  This is far beyond my wildest dreams, far beyond anything that I could imagine.  Yet, it is the most important part of my reality.  Here, I employ my talents and abilities to the utmost.  How many people can say that they do that on a regular basis?  How many people have a record of where consciousness has taken them.  That is one of the primary values of what is expressed here.  It is a record that not only can I revisit whenever I choose, but I can freely and easily share it with others.  Actually, that is potentially share it with others.  Posting the material and publishing it in books only enables such sharing.  The actual sharing does not occur until people find the material on the WWW and read it, or acquire the books and read what is in them.  To date, there has been very little of the later even though parts of the expression has been available on the WWW for 13 years and the Beyond Imagination books have been available for over 4 years.  So, will this ever change?  Will the effort to share meet with success?  I believe wholeheartedly that it will.  The material is good.  In fact, I spent two hours last night reading parts of 2003 Musings: Vol II.  As usual, I was amazed and blown away by what I read.  I didn't remember having written any of it.  And now, less than a day later, I don't remember anything that I read last night.  How can that be?  How can my mind function like this?  I only know that it does, that is just how it works.  To some degree, it has always been that way.  In school, I found it difficult to memorize anything.  At work, I am blessed with systems that capture the information that I generate in the moment and keep in at my fingertips.  All of the Beyond Imagination expression is only a few mouse clicks or a book away at the most.  That is good.  It allows me to reach anything that has been expressed through me relatively quickly.  Though, I am not very good at organizing things hierarchically and am horrible at remembering names.  Fortunately links on web pages allow much flexibility regardless of where the actual files are located. 

So, what of substance would be expressed today?  What of value would be produced, that justifies my having lived another day?  The hope is that at least one great quote comes out of each days expression, and preferable many such quotes.  But, we don't know what they will be until we see them come forth.  That is OK.  Consciousness is quite prolific ... and quite profound.  At least, such she has been so long as this expression has been coming forth.  I would live in a manner that makes a difference, a great positive difference in the lives of others and to the world.  That is demanding a lot.  But, if we don't place such demands on ourselves, how are we to ever live up to our potential?  How do we know what our potential is?  How do we know what we could have done, if we had truly tried?  We know because it strikes a strong chord within us.  We know by the feeling of success and accomplishment that we get when we achieve it.  We know by how happy it makes us.  Yes, there is a strong correlation between happiness and achieving our best.  And, where best to achieve our best, if not in service to society.  Collectively, that is what makes us strong.  Collectively, that is what makes us prosperous.  To receive, we must be willing to give.  To receive even more, we must be willing to give even more.  To receive abundantly, we must be willing to give abundantly.  It is that simple.  The secret to life was stated well in The Lion King ... to never take more than you give.  That very principle is what creates abundance in our lives and in our world.  But, what about the idea that resources are constrained, that we have to compete to get our share?  While many people believe this, it does not make it fact, and it does not make it useful except to a few.  And collective utility needs to be the strongest driving factor for a society.  We need to find what works and do it.  Further, we need to realize that people are different, so what works for one or even many, may not work for another or others.  It is for us to cherish and embrace our differences and find ways to share of them in service to others, our society, and our world.  Overall, this can be easy.  The key is to focus on those things that we love to do.  Joseph Campbell said: follow your bliss.  That is such sage advice.  His very life is an example of one who did just this.  I've seen some of his videotapes.  He comes across as utterly happy and enthused about what he was doing ... he clearly was following his bliss.  I wish that I could say the same regarding how I live my life.  This expression comes close.  But, I know that there is more, much more.  It is as if I have discovered the tip of an iceberg.  The vast majority of the iceberg still lies below the surface, yet to be seen or in my case expressed.  While much has come forth since 1993, what remains will dwarf that by comparison.  To follow your bliss, you must find your bliss.  Though, this is not some stationary thing.  In fact, it is the journey of a lifetime ... perhaps even many lifetimes.

Each day, it is important to do something that makes a difference.  For me, that difference comes primarily via the expression of words and ideas that capture spiritual truths.  Hmm ... is that what comes forth here?  For me, spiritual is completely divorced from religious.  I have no room for religion in my life, but I consider myself to be highly spiritual.  This is not a contradiction.  Religions offer specific paths to God, often include much dogma, and often include a clergy as the intermediary between the believer and the God in whom the believer believes.  I refuse to accept any dogma, and will not have any intermediary between me and source, the ONE consciousness herself.  That doesn't make me an unbeliever, it just means that I choose not to believe in such set paths.  Rather, I choose to approach spirit in my own way.  Moreover, I choose to allow her to express through me directly.  That does not mean that I am against religion.  I just don't see it of value to me personally.  How others are served by religion is for them to determine.  Part of my way of being spiritual is to revere some spiritual relics.  I am particularly fond of spiritual statues and bronzes, especially those related to Eastern religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism.  Also, I remember seeing a video on the tenets of Buddhism once and realizing that it closely corresponded to whom that I am.  However, it is with the Transcendentalists that my strongest feelings lay.  Emerson, Channing, and Thoreau were clearly my mentors and predecessors.  They spoke and wrote of spirit in a whole new way.  They were forebearers of a time to come ... of a new age that was just beyond their time horizon.  They were at their heights in the final half of the 1800's, a time when the world was a much different place than it is today.  Yet, their words speak out to eternity.  Their quotes graced my office walls for much of the 1980's and 1990's until my own quotes replaced them.  Yes, I am a transcendentalist at heart.  This defines me more clearly than any other term.  Does that mean I am a transcendental soul as well?  Yes, perhaps that is the very thing that enables me to serve as the vessel through which spirit can express in this manner.  What does it mean to transcend?  It means to go above and beyond something.  The sense is that this something is the flesh.  Yet, clearly I am still spirit enfleshed.  So, what gives?  The first expression in 1993 was titled Beyond Mind, because that is what I was experiencing in my life.  After that, everything became Beyond Imagination, because what I was experiencing was beyond anything that I could imagine based on my extensive readings in metaphysics and my experience.  To date, we have not been moved to alter that.  This entire endeavor including this expression is Beyond Imagination.  When or even if this phase will end, I do not know.  It may last under my final days in this existence.  Then again, there could be another major breakpoint that causes a shift into a whole new way of being and expressing.  I am open to that ... though, I am not expectant of that.  There is no sense that I am pregnant, about to give birth to something fresh and new.  Though, this expression is always fresh and new.  But, it is also "regular", at least as regular as something gets for me.  At least, I find it interesting and fascinating.  And, clearly, it is original.  Further, it is a creative endeavor relying heavily on intuition.

But, is it worth the time and effort that it takes to generate it?  Of that, there is no doubt, clearly it is worth it ... worth every second and every ounce of effort.  That is saying a lot.  But, the expression brings a lot into my life.  It demonstrates how grand spiritual expression can be when we step aside and allow spirit to express through us.  That is the only way that spirit can express, through us.  We are her only vessels and instruments.   We are all spirit expressing in flesh.  Note that we are in flesh, not of flesh.  Our bodies are the clothes that we wear in this existence.  They allow us to tune into and experience the wonders of the physical world.  Though, we live in other realms as well, namely the emotional, the mental, and the spiritual.  All are equally important ... though some find themselves with distinct preferences.  Clearly, I accentuate the spiritual to an extreme ... virtually neglecting other realms.  Though, that is starting to change.  To be all that we can be, we need to employ our abilities in all four realms effectively.  We need to become the masters that we can be ... in particular, the masters of reality creation that we can be.  It all comes down to applying ourselves in service.  Service is ultimately all that matters.  Service is how we exchange whom that we are for all that we need.  It is that simple.  The challenge for society is to create the infrastructure and foundations that allow abilities to be developed and applied in service to society in a way that is elegant.  Elegance involves getting the maximal service from the minimal resources ... getting the most out of the least.  When we do this on the scale of society, grand things happen.  We get greatly increased productivity resulting in a wider array of goods and services, and we get abundance in all realms of life ... physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.  What more could we ask for?  We can literally turn the world into a utopia.  The ideals are there ... waiting for us to apply them.  Castles in the air are fine, but they are only in our imagination.  It is time to go Beyond Imagination and make them real.  The first step is to realize that we can do this.  It is all a matter of choice.  For too long, we have allowed others to make our choices for us.  We have given away our power, and allowed the few to determine how the world would be.  In particular, the Kings of Industry have set the course for the world for far too long.  It is time to take our power back, and collectively fashion the world into what we would have it be.  Is that asking for too much?  I think not!  But, who am I in the grander scheme of things?  I am one through whom spirit speaks.  My sense is that I am but one of many ... or, I will be but one of many.

How do we know what is possible?  Who decides what the society and the world will be?  The bottom line is we do, collectively.  However, we don't do this by majority rules.  Nor do we do it democratically.  The people with the real power in this country and this world were not given their power via any voting process.  Some of these people achieved their power by generating services of value on a massive scale.  I'm thinking of Bill Gates or the inventors of Google as examples.  Others inherited their wealth and their power.  Some use it wisely in beneficial ways.  However, a good number are far more controlling.  To me, being controlling is a bad thing.  It implies exerting undo influence to produce a desired outcome.  This is one reason that I find it difficult to exert my will.  The bottom line is to look at the results.  Do we like the world that we live in?  If not, what do we need to do differently to make it better?  Better, not just for ourselves, but for everyone ... in particular, for those who are suffering or living in poverty.  We can create an abundant world.  We have the resources, the talent, and the know-how to do this.  All we lack is the desire and resolve.  And, this is something that we can change, collectively, in a heartbeat.  The question is will we do it, and when?


20 April 2008

So, what would we express tonight?  It was a busy day doing fire abatement in Idyllwild, but it is something that has to be done every year.  But, I'm more attuned to the fire of spirit as she expresses in my life.  And that, I do not choose to abate at all.  Rather, I encourage it to sweep through me and burn away all except the spiritual.  But what about the admonition to Be Physical?  There is some reason that we are spirit in flesh and not pure spirit.  There is something to be gained from the experience of this form that cannot otherwise be gained.  Perhaps when I realize just what that is, I can find the happiness that eludes me.  My wife finds it easy to be happy.  She enjoys her life thoroughly.  But, that is not my experience.  I pursue happiness at times, but do not experience it much.  There always seems to be something more that is missing.  That yields a state of not being satisfied very often.  This expression is the closest that I come to experiencing joy in my life.  Here, I believe that I am doing something that has the potential to make a big impact on peoples lives and the world.  Will that indeed come to be?  It may, or it may not.  That seems to be in spirits hands not mine.  She sets the agenda for this expression.  I just assumed that she knows to who she is expressing.  Right now, that seems to be to me alone.  I haven't been moved to post the latest musings in several years.  Not that there we a lot of them.  Though, this year seems to be changing that again.  The first two and a half months there were no musings, but we're already up to close to 20 since then.  That exceeds some entire years, and already is closing in on the count for 2007.  It will be what it is.  We find a way to do the things that excite us when we are moved to do them.  Hmm ... that seems to be one of the keys to happiness, do the things that excite you.  But isn't happiness a state of being, not a state of doing?  Looking done at the bottom of every musing, one of the final phrases is Be Happy and Create Well!  Here, we create well indeed.  But, we do a less than stellar job of being happy.  Why is that?  Why is this so difficult for us?  Also, we are not truly appreciative of all that we have.  This is something that we can change.  Being appreciative involves establishing an attitude of gratitude in our life.  There is much to be grateful for.  My life is blessed in many ways.  Yet, it is still missing something, something very important.  Just, what might that be?  Relationships with others, come to mind.  That is one area that is deficient to non-existent in my life.  What do I believe about relationships that keeps me from experiencing them.  First, they seem time consuming and superficial.  Hmm ... no wonder I've stayed away from them.  I would have deep and lasting relationships, or I would not have them at all.  But, how do we develop deep and lasting relationships?  Are these not something that we nurture and grow over time?  My relationship with spirit herself is like that.  But, I have nothing else in my life that even comes close.  There is no one that really knows who I am, other than me.  My wife of 20 years has some idea, but we only interact two days per week, and I don't say much at all during that time.   In fact, the only place that I really say anything is here in this expression ... and it is not really me saying it.  Though, there is a lot about whom that I am revealed in this expression.  In fact, reading it, you learn more about me than anyone in the world knows other than me.  That might be good if people were reading this expression.  But, no one that I know is really doing that to any real degree.  There is something sad about that.  The best that I have to share, the best that spirit is able to share through me ... is primarily for my eyes only.  Yes, there is something sad about that.  But, what would I do differently?  How would I live my life in a manner that is more inclusive of others?  Yes, that seems to be what is called for now.  We can only remain isolated for so long.  At some point, we must relinquish our hermit ways.  Has that point finally come?  It seems that it has, indeed.

We would create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.  This requires more than evolutionary change, it requires revolutionary change.  It is time to truly shake things up, and build new foundations from the ground up ... or perhaps from the heavens down.  There have been castles in the air for far to long, it is time to put the foundations under them.  We can do that now, better than at any time before.  The time is right.  The circumstances are right.  We have only to be the change that we want to see in the world.  The world reflects how we choose to be, individually and collectively.  Yes, we must also do, out of whom we have become.  But, the most important step is to be whom that we truly are, and express that fully.  The techniques are there to do this.  The teachers are there to facilitate this.  We have only to learn them, embrace them, and apply them in our lives.  What is it worth to the individual, to the collective, to do this?  Everything in the world and more, much more.  Is that enough?  It has to be.  There is nothing more. 

I did something that I haven't been moved to do in while.  I went back and re-read the prior paragraph.  It still amazes me that I have no memory of this expression from paragraph to paragraph, or even sentence to sentence.  Yet, that is the way it is.  Fortunately, I am moved to capture all of this, so that I can share it, but also so that I have a record that I can revisit when I am so moved.  In over 15 years, I have never been disappointed by any of this.  Quite the opposite, the Beyond Imagination expression has been the shining glory of my reality.  If I do nothing else, at least I will have capture something of wonder and beauty, something far greater than anything that I could have created on my own.  Yes, I am extremely grateful that spirit has graced my life in this fashion.  If she could do all of this through me, I can only imagine what she could do on a worldwide scale if people were connected to the source within and expressing that fully in there lives.  I long to be able to do this as my vocation, as my occupation.  I believe that I could easily generate 4,000 words/day x 5 days/week = 20,000 words/week.  At the pace that the expression is being delivered of late, that is only four hours per day of expression.  I could almost do that in my current circumstances, but it would require devoting nearly every free moment to this expression.  That seems too much to ask.  But, is it?  Though, that quantity of words would fill a sizable book every 6-8 weeks.  We already have nine Beyond Imagination books published that often it seems that I am the only one reading.  What would we do with another five or six per year?  No, that does not seem to be the direction in which we are heading.  But, I don't really know what is to come of all of this.  It seems that there is much to be expressed through us before our time is gone.  But, how that expression will be disseminated so that it reaches those it is meant to reach, I have no clue.  Here, I trust that spirit herself knows what she is doing.  There is a destiny that I am fulfilling.  I know that.  I just don't know where it is taking me and when.  That is OK.  I embrace the mysteries of consciousness in my life.  Why don't I embrace the mysteries of life as readily?  Many examining my life might say that I am not really living.  I feel that I am a stranger in a strange world here.  Relationships, in particular, are difficult to fathom.  It is as if I am blind in this area.  Where do relationships fit into the scheme of my life.  Am I to remain essentially a hermit throughout my days?  Thus far, we have effectively lived half a century that way.  Other than a desire for change, it is not clear where my life is moving on this matter.  Is not a strong desire enough to manifest that which is desired?  Sometimes, sometimes not.  We have to believe that what we desire is indeed possible and even probable for us.  We have to give the desire sufficient strength to allow it to manifest.  We have to realize that our intent makes the difference in how spirit's abundance appears in our life.  She has the means to grant any wish.  But, it is our intent that determines how she applies her vast resources.  So, what is my deepest intent?  To build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.  Such is a world that I would truly choose to participate in with body, mind, heart, and soul.  But, what stops me from participating now in that manner in the world as it is?  Thus far, I have chosen to be an observer on the side, and not a very observant observer at all.  Much of what goes on in the world gets filtered from my awareness.  I have never been one to read the news, watch the news, or read magazines.  My reading interests were solely in the domain of metaphysics.  I do watch my share of television shows and movies but even then, I look for a spiritual message.  I listen to the radio a lot, primarily soft rock and love songs.  What would I do differently in my life?  If I could be anything that I wanted to be, what would I be?  I would be more of what I AM, a metaphysical writer with a message for a world in need.  But, what message do I have for myself in a similar light?  If I can fill my needs, I can be more of whom that I AM, and thus more faithfully serve as a messenger for consciousness.  Overall, my true needs are relatively minor, especially in terms of goods and services.  Though, one big thing came up as my birthday wish.  What I desire most is to be loved.  Is that too much to ask?  Perhaps it is.  Am I loving to others?  Is not that the key to receiving anything ... to give that wish we want to receive, and to give it abundantly?  What does a hermit who has remained isolated from others know of love?  Perhaps the hermit does not know.  But, that is just a role that you have chosen to play ... in this case, for several decades.  The soul naturally knows how to love, and how to do so unconditionally.  Find this part within you and allow it to express what it knows innately.  You will be surprised at the depth of feeling and expression that will be unleashed.  Yes, it will be scary at first, especially for you.  But let go, and allow the flow to carry you along.  You will not be disappointed.  In fact, you will thoroughly enjoy where it takes you.  It is time to experience first hand what you have been listening to in love songs for so many years.  There is a reason that you are naturally attracted to such songs.


21 April 2008

Once again we open the blank slate on which to express what consciousness would express through us.  And, once again the stream of consciousness does indeed come forth.  Over the past 15 plus years, we've probably done this well over 1500 times, yet every time it is fresh and new.  How can that be?  How can consciousness have that much to say through me, especially when I am so silent on my own?  I don't know how to explain it.  I only know that it manifests as it does and I am exceedingly grateful for it.  I can think of no better way to expend my free time than engaged in this expression.  Then why don't I do it every free moment of every day?  It seems that enough of a good thing is enough.  Though, what constitutes enough can change dramatically from day to day, week to week, month to month, and even year to year.  Through it all, I trust that what needs to be expressed is being expressed when it needs to be expressed.  The content and the timing are not under my control ... at least not under my conscious control.  I only loosely am aware of what I can do on other than conscious levels.  The conscious is indeed only the tip of the iceberg.  And, no matter how aware we become, this will always be the case.  Only the size of the iceberg changes, not its relative dimensions.  So, there will always be the unknown, as a major element of our lives.  That is OK.  It results in great mysteries and wonders to behold and experience.  Such are the things that make life miraculous and fascinating.

How do we remain in a natural state of grace?  We are always in such a state.  However, we often fail to remember this.  That leads to much sorrow and suffering in our lives, in our society, and in our world.  However, remembering this is a choice that we can make at any time.  Hmm ... it seems that remembering to be happy is another such choice.  Then, why have I made it so difficult for myself to be happy?  Part of this comes from the half empty versus half full syndrome.  I have characterized myself as the 48: The Man in Search of More.  That suggests that the three minds and the five senses are never going to be enough for me.  I am moved to find the moreness in life.  And, I will continue to seek until either I find it or I die, and maybe even then I will continue to seek.  Yes, you could characterize me as a seeker, and as a philosopher.  For, it is indeed spiritual wisdom that I seek.  I would know the nature of self, and of consciousness herself, however elusive that might be.  It matters not that I ever find what I seek.  The process of seeking is enough to engage me wholeheartedly.  Those last two sentences sent shivers through my body.  That is always a sign for me that I have touched on a grand truth.  Such truths may be universal, but often are not.  My way is a way, it is clearly not the way?  Follow me if by doing so that serves you in some way.  I am a self-proclaimed wayshower.  Yet, I know not for whom I am showing the way.  Then again, neither did the early explorers in this country.  My country just happens to be the realm of consciousness.  It is there that I choose to spend my time exploring what I can and sharing of what I find.  These words are the trail that consciousness herself is able to leave through me.  Follow them so long as they move you and serve you.  Feel free to venture off the trail and make you own forays into the wilderness of consciousness as well.  This is no different than the experience of the wilderness in your own country.  It just operates in a different domain.  And, no, we are not speaking of a mental journey here.  The realm of consciousness is far more vast than that.  It is ONE, yet it is vast enough to contain everything that is expressed individual and collectively in the world.  What does it mean to operate out of oneness?  For one thing, in oneness there is no separateness and no duality.  There is no either/or.  There is no past, present, and future.  There is only now.  There is no there and there and there.  There is only here.  There is no me and you and you and you.  There is only all that is, one, whole, and complete.  Yet, isness is not something that is static ... it is dynamic and ever-changing.  How do I know all of this?  It is not a matter of knowing.  Rather, it is a matter of allowing consciousness to speak through me as she will.  How do I know that I am not making all of this up?  If I am, whom that we are far exceeds anything that I have dreamed myself possible of being.  In excess of four million words to date attest to that.  Further, they are words that even though they pass through my consciousness are lost to my conscious recollection virtually immediately.  This very expression is the only record that attest to them having been created.  And, what a testament it is.  It shows us just how miraculous we are, even as individuals, when we allow consciousness to express through us.  This is the only way that spirit can speak in the world.  We are her hands, her legs, her arms, her heart, and her mind.  We are the instruments that she plays.  And, in her employ, the things that we can do are simply miraculous.  Even more than that, the things that we can be individual and collectively are simply beyond imagination.  That is saying a lot.  What does it take to be beyond imagination?  We can imagine a lot of things.  Beyond Mind takes us out of the mental into the intuitive.  Beyond Imagination takes us out of the intuitive into ???  The bottom line is that I don't know what that is yet.  This is a matter for experience.  From its inception, this expression has been under the umbrella of Beyond Imagination.  There is no sense that we have escaped this yet.  Though, every nerve and sinew within me says that such is the next major step.  However, as with the Beyond Mind state, going Beyond Imagination requires experiencing another breakpoint.  At this point, I don't even know for certain whether this can be done while one remains incarnate.  So, you might say that all of this is seeking something that does not or cannot exist in the world that we know.  But, that is not what I am saying.  Simply because there is no evidence of something does not mean that it might not be right around the next corner in our exploration into the wilderness of consciousness.  It seems that here there are no maps, or few maps to steer by.  Here, we have to rely on consciousness to lead us to take the next step and then the one after that and then the one after that.  The only test of what we find is its utility.  And, that utility might not be readily apparent.  In fact, it may take decades, centuries, or even millennia for us to discover the utility.  Wow, nothing like this has ever come forth as far as I can recall.

So, it seems that we are on a roll tonight.  Don't you love when that happens?  I know that I do.  Yes, one step at a time.  That is the way of the 22:The Fool card in the Tarot.  There is always one more step that is safe to take.  And, when you live in the moment, that one step is all that matters.  The next step can wait for our attention in the next moment.  But, what about planning things?  Surely, you are not saying that there is no room for planning to make things happen in a certain way.  Actually, in this domain, the spiritual domain, that is exactly what I am saying.  When you venture into the unknown realms, the only control that you have is over what you take with you ... and that primarily is whom that you are and what you know yourself to be.  Note that these two things can be quite distinct.  The closer you can come to knowing thyself, the better you are and the more positive influence you have on all those that you touch in your life.  But, be careful not to confuse who you know thyself to be with whom that  you are.  Knowledge can be in error ... being cannot.  Be whom that you are is thus a stronger dictate from spirit than know thyself.  Though, for many, even the possibility of being something arises from their self-knowledge, limited though that may be.  Here, however, we speak of rising above such limitations.  One way to do this is through releasing control in our life to consciousness herself.  Some might say to God.  After all, we never really had control over much of anything anyway.  So much of our experience just happens.  For me, that is by far the larger part of it.  I would suggest that this is true for everyone.  Let go and let God is another way of saying this.  We are spirit having a physical experience.  Spirit is the God part of us that is having this experience.  It is universal, omnipresent, and omnipotent.  It has the resources and power to do anything.  However, it can only act in the world through our individual and collective intent.  And not just any intent, but our deepest intents.  We don't have to know how things are to be accomplished.  That is spirits job.  She will reveal the way.  However, we do have to set the mold through our intent.  It is best if we allow these intents to flow from spirit as well through our intuition.  For this to work, we must listen, pay attention, and be consistent with what we hear.  Yes, actions speak louder than words.  But, being speaks louder than actions.  When we come from the state of whom that we are, our actions flow naturally.  That doesn't mean that we can get by without taking action.  It just means that we should pay more attention to being.  Our actions will then be consistent with our being.  And, our thoughts and words will be consistent with our actions.  For many, this amounts to living life upside down.  And, that is exactly what it is.  Interesting way of phrasing it, upside down.  Typically we have our upside pointed to the heavens.  It is time to reverse that so that it is pointed down to the Earth.

I'm reading a new book, Your Deepest Intent.  It is part of the Letter from the Infinite series.  Though I just began reading it, I can already see that it is starting to color what is expressed here.  I've never seen that happen so quickly before.  I don't read anywhere near as much as I used to.  The last book that I read was Happier than God by Neale Donald Walsh about three weeks ago.  I don't recall being moved to say much about it, though it was excellent.  Something about the new book struck me in a different way.  It is more similar to this expression than anything else that I've encountered.  Though, it is more organized and written as a series of letter to the author and her significant other.  I was beginning to think that the Beyond Imagination expression was ever more unique than it is.  It is good to see such books being published and making their way to the national bookstore chains.  The two mentioned here were purchased from Barnes and Noble.  It seems that this aspect of my life needs to pick up again.  I learn so much from books even if I don't consciously remember what I learn.  My mind is a hodgepodge of information from a lifetime of reading, thinking, and observation.  I don't know how the information is stored, or how it gets connected to other information.  I only know that it gives consciousness a rich tapestry from which to reveal these works.  By their works, ye shall now them.  Here, you see all of the works of consciousness expressing through me in all of their glory.  At least, that is how I like to think of things.  Ultimately, it is up to you to judge their glory.  I would advise that you do that based solely on utility.  Do they make your life and the lives of those you touch better for your having been exposed to them.  That is all that can be expected of great works.


24 April 2008

Two more days without expression due to a business trip.  Oh well, that happens sometimes.  All we can do is make the best of the time that we do have to express.  So, right here, right now, what would we bring forth?  The bottom line is that we never really know.  This expression is a mystery.  It has always been such and shall always be such.  Here, spirit is given the reigns to my consciousness and directs it where she will.  I am grateful to be able to participate in this endeavor in this fashion.  I can think of no better way to expend my time and energy.  My sense is that all of this is somehow meant to be.  It is as if it is already finished in consciousness, and I am simply allowing it to come forth through my fingers to manifest in the world.  And, my, what wonders we are able to manifest ... if only as written expression to date.  But, written expression that is read has the potential to impact the minds, hearts, and souls of people.  Whether this expression will do that, only time will tell.  Whether it does or does not, has no impact on the fact that it needed to be expressed in this manner at this time.  This is an opportune moment.  Many of the ideas deal with serving a world in need of reform, if not revolution.  Though, it is still unknown as to whether the ideas will indeed provide such service.  I can only hope and continue to do as I am moved to do in the moment, trusting that spirit knows what she is doing in my life.  There is a grand plan of spirit, of consciousness, in which we are playing the very roles that are meant for us.  These are the roles that we signed up for, that we volunteered to play when we came into this existence.  How can I know that?  Do we not choose how we will live our lives and perform our works as we go?  My sense is that we only do this to some degree, within the confines of an overall role that was chosen by our souls.  Whether we can change these roles, I do not know.  Though, it seems that we can fail to perform the roles effectively.  But, everyone is doing their best given their circumstances and whom they know themselves to be.  If we want to improve things, those are the two areas to fix ... the circumstances that people face in their lives and peoples awareness of whom that they are.  The first is improved via better infrastructures that are more supportive of getting people what they need.  The second is improved via the right type of education.  However, this is not education for the mind ... it is education for the consciousness.  Who is responsible for such education?  In present society, spiritual education is left primarily to the churches and to religion.  In fact, in this country, we have legislated the separation of church and state.  Did we err in making such a separation?  Perhaps.  Perhaps not.  But, somehow we need to refocus the education system on the one thing that it most needs to teach - KNOW THYSELF.  The sooner we do this, the sooner we empower people to be the best that we can be.  And, in so doing, everyone wins.  It is that simple.

What does it take to know thyself?  And, why is this not something that is actively taught in our schools?  I only know that in my own case, 17 years of formal education dismally failed to do this.  It was only through reading metaphysical books that I did not even find in the school library or public library, that I encountered the ideas that allowed me to stretch my concepts of whom that I am.  Most of these books were found in the Occult section of bookstores in the 1970's.  This eventually changed to New Age and Metaphysics.  For awhile, nearly every book that I read came from this genre.  And, the more that I read, and the more that I thought about what I read, the more I expanded in consciousness.  But, this alone was not enough.  This carried me from 1974 through 1993, close to 20 or the first 34 years of my life.  Then, a breakpoint occurred and I started to tap into the source within and express directly as a vehicle for spirit.  That has continued to this day ... with several additional breakpoints occurring where a stay in the mental hospital was necessary to allow me to restore myself to being able to function in the world.  The first  two times, this involved ten day stays and three month leaves of absence from work.  Yes, it can take awhile to come to grips with reality when you basically lose your mind.  But, there are far worse things than going beyond mind.  And, that is exactly what we experienced.  Nothing that I had read in 20 years prepared me to deal with what I experienced ... not even close.  I had lived in my mind.  I understood things intellectually.  But, these experiences literally blew me away.  I became something that I did not know that I could become.  All of a sudden, I was aware in ways that I had never been aware before.  And, the condition was permanent.  The newfound awareness was something that I could count on and trust.  Though, things were a little shaky at first.  Separating what was reality from what was illusion became a conscious process.  And, for years, I was operating on the edge of sanity.  You might say that I still am.  And, perhaps, I will continue to be for the rest of my days.  That is OK.  I can think of no better place to be.  It is in the unknown realms of consciousness that we discover whom that we truly are.  We engage in the process of separating what is not I from what is I.  Ever in search of the true self, we forge on, creating and observing our reality along the way.  Yes, we create our own experience, every bit of it, no fine print, no exceptions.  And, we do it whether we are aware of doing it or not.  It helps if we are conscious of at least some parts of the process.  But, it is not clear that we will ever be conscious of it all.  We have to leave room for the mystical, for the magical, in our lives.  That is what keeps things interesting.  There will always be things that we don't know, perhaps even things that we will never know.  The unknown and the unknowable have powerful places in our lives.  We will always have explorers who seek to make parts of the unknown known.  Explorers of the unknowns of consciousness are just another incarnation of such explorers.  The bottom line is that we eventually find what we seek ... even if we don't consciously know what we seek.  And, the more resources that we apply to any endeavor, the more results we tend to get.  Consciousness technology is much like other technology.  It literally has the potential to transform our lives in amazing ways ... truly in ways beyond imagination.  But, it can be scary as well, because of the awesome power that it places in individuals and the collective.  Fortunately, there seems to be a natural safeguard.  For consciousness technology, the awareness of the individual is a key factor enabling its use.  Note, we did not say knowledge of the individual, for knowledge alone is not enough.  Spiritual power can only be used to serve.  Unless service is involved, it simply shuts down and is unavailable.


27 April 2008

It's Sunday evening, but we got in early enough to be able to come here to express.  Last week was relatively light for musings at less than 4,000 words.  Though, what must get expressed does indeed get expressed.  Consciousness sees to that.  In a very real way, I am along for the ride.  And, to date, it has been the ride of my life.  I sense that it will continue to be such for my remaining time on the planet.  In some respects, you might say that this is the most fun that I allow myself.  It would even be more fun if we could find ways to involve kindred spirits.  Such will happen when the time is right ... when I allow it to.  How much ego is involved in this expression?  I really have no way of knowing.  It is what it is.  I am the instrument through which all of this comes, but it clearly is not of me.  Consciousness is far richer than any concepts that I have of myself being.  Living in the now is how all of this comes forth.  This is a stream of consciousness.  It is not a stream of thoughts from my mind.  I observe it happening.  I don't make it happen.  There is a big difference.  This expression is a testament to what spirit can do in our lives.  If she can do all of this through me, what can she do through you, and through us collectively.  We have only to volunteer to be of service.  We have only to silence our minds for awhile and allow the stillness deep inside to come forth through our intuition.  Even after 15 years, I still find it amazing that what comes forth is forgotten almost immediately.  I have to go back to read the previous sentence to know what came forth.  How can that be?  It is as if the expression is mindless somehow.  And that, it seems, is still something rare to experience.  I don't know when this state of mindlessness started for me.  But, there was evidence of it even before the Beyond Imagination expression began.  I would experience it as a blankness of mind ... as times of no thought and no feelings, simply being.  For many years in the 80's and 90's, I was bored.  Starting in 1993, this expression brought me to life again though it also brought boughts of craziness to accompany it.  In the late 90's and early 00's, I was bored again, and tired much of the time.  That all changed in 2002 through 2003 with nearly daily expression and the publishing of 9 books.  Over 90 percent of the expression is stream of consciousness.  I type what comes from a source within me, a source that I recognize as distinct from me ... but of not belonging to any other entity.  Until the past few years, I was moved to share all of the expression as it came forth within days of it coming forth.  Once 2003 concluded, however, the musings virtually stopped.  Only last month did they start to pickup to a respectable rate once again.  There is a sense that I have enough material out there ... enough to attract an audience.  Once that happens, it may be appropriate to add more.  No, that is not a condition.  I will continue to express what spirit would move me to express.  And I would do so gratefully.  It just seems that the latest expression is to be for my eyes only for awhile anyway.  That phrase has haunted me many times over the years.  But, I was moved to ignore it and post and publish the Beyond Imagination works.  Where has that taken us?  To heights above which I never knew that I could soar.  How's that for an answer?

It seems there is much to do to usher in a new age.  But, even more important is being whom we are.  That is the key to everything.  Being is fundamental, and being is fun and joyful.  What does it take to be?  We must lose our roles and stop pretending to be what we are not.  We must drop our mental concepts of who we are and sit in our nakedness as spirit.  This is not so difficult to do.  It is a matter of stop trying so hard and simply allowing what is deep within us to flow forth.  Being is the most natural state we can experience.  It is what is left when we shed all the forms and concepts that we consider ourselves to be.  You can only be in the now.  It is in the isness of life that we find ourselves.  In this isness, there is no past and no future.  There is no what we have been and what we might become.  There is only what we are in the moment, in the everlasting now.  Now is not a series of moments.  That is a misconception that comes from our thinking.  Past and future are mental constructs ... they are not real, they are not true.  The mind is attached to a variety of things.  All of these are illusions as well, be they thoughts, emotions, or things.  Thoughts, emotions, and things are not bad in any sense ... in fact, they can make life interesting, entertaining, and joyful.  But, be wary of overattachment to any of these.  Where possible, carry a sense of detachment.  The thoughts are just thoughts, the emotions are just emotions, the things are just things.  They only have power to impact our state of being to the degree that we allow them to.  And, even then, they don't impact our beingness, they impact our ego.  What is the ego?  That is a large question.  The easiest answer is that it is a false self.  It is the self that we imagine, believe, or think that we are.  What does it take to go beyond the ego?  Simply drop the image, beliefs, and thoughts that we thing that we are.  But, the ego will not necessarily stand idly by as you do this.  It does not want to lose its identity and its power in your life.  But, it is all thought stuff.  And, as such, it has no real power over you.  Simply be.  Simply allow your life to unfold.  Don't be attached to outcomes, or thoughts, or emotions, or people, or things.  You know you are attached by observing your reaction if you lost some of these in your life.  If you would feel bad, or angry, or grieving, or powerless, or hurt then these are danger signs that you are attached.  If you are investing your concept of self in any of these things, then you are attached.  The words my and mine are particularly dangerous.  They often convey a sense that something is part of me.  But thoughts, emotions, and things are never part of me.  Beingness transcends all of that. 

It is curious.  I can already tell that the book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle is influencing what is coming forth.  I just started reading it this weekend.  I don't remember any of the specifics yet I am over 200 pages into the book.  He does spend a lot of time addressing the ego however.  This process of stream of consciousness expression remains a mystery.  Things go into my mind via reading and observing, but I have no clue as to what happens from there.  How the new mixes with the matrix of all that has come before is completely outside my understanding.  That is OK.  Mysteries are good.  The unknown and the unknowable have definite places in our life.  For instance, we don't need to know how to be.  We just need to drop the pretense and experience the presence.  That we can do in any moment.  Saying yes to life, being present is what truly matters.  Also, there is a sense that we spring forth from the same ONE, from the same whole.  And, when we tap into source, we tap into the same ONE consciousness that animates us all.  When we read something, we follow the pointers that some consciousness has left.  Why these pointers were left, and to where they point, are known only to the consciousness that was doing the expressing.  And, even then, those answers won't necessarily be known to the person who brought the material forth.  All such material is the expression of the ONE.  Because of that, it is richly connected to what it needs to be connected to.  Also, it will find its intended audience, primarily because it provides the opportunity for awakening.  And, awakening of consciousness is what the game of life is all about.  As I wrote that, two things came to mind ... life is far more than any game, and the purpose of any game is to have fun.  Consciousness awakens as people become present as isness in the now. 


28 April 2008
 
The month is rapidly winding to a close.  Hmm ... a 28:The Man with the World in His Hand day in a 28 year.  It will be interesting to see what comes forth.  I started off early but got interrupted for quite awhile.  Oh well, that happens sometimes.  It seems that it is happening more of late.  I wonder what that means.  The bottom line is to stay present in the moment, regardless of what the moment brings.  There is a purpose to everything.  Behind the scenes, there is an intelligence that is orchestrating everything.  I have only to allow life to unfold as it will, and be open to the miracles that present themselves.  The more that we do this, the better everything is, not only for us but for all those whose lives we touch.  And, that is the greatest miracle of all.

To build the foundations for a new world ... we must realize that new foundations are needed, and that these foundations lie in the realm of thought and belief.  All form lies within this realm.  Beingness itself, however, is beyond this.  In fact, it is not clear that it lies in any realm.  It simply is.  Furthermore, beingness is far more important than any foundations or any worlds built upon foundations.  That doesn't lesson the importance of foundations and worlds, it just puts them in their rightful place.  And that, primarily is within the illusion that we call reality.  Though, that is not quite correct.  Our reality can extend beyond our thoughts and feelings to whom that we are, to the beingness that we are, to that which is beyond all form and substance.  We are more than we think and feel.  We are the self that experiences the thoughts and the feelings.  We can do so subjectively or objectively, letting the thoughts and feelings define our image of whom that we are, or remaining as a detached presence.  It is OK to think things and feel things, and to even do so deeply.  However, when we allow the thoughts and feelings to become who we believe that we are ... then, we have given up our freedom in a way that was never intended.  We have bought into the illusion hook, line, and sinker.  That may be OK for awhile.  But, for many, awhile becomes a lifetime or even multiple lifetimes.  And, this, was never meant to be.  Yet, it is our choice.  We can live by the ego, or find a way to freedom.  But, it doesn't just happen.  We have to drop the shackles that restrain us, and move toward our own enlightenment.  We do this by noticing that we are the observer of the drama of our life, that we are the experiencer of that which constitutes our reality.  We do this by realizing that there is nothing that we need to do or to learn in order to be.  It is simply a matter of realizing and being present.  It is simply a matter of allowing ourselves to be in all of our glory.  For, we are glorious indeed.  Each and every one of us.  We are grand beyond measure.  Our beingness knows no bounds.  It is part of a universal ONEness.  Live in the moment.  That is the sacred directive.  When we do this, we can never cease to be.  Ceasing to be, requires constructs of the past or of the future that are mental constructs that are not true.  The way out of illusion is never more illusion.  Rather, it is freedom through being.  Being is something that we all do.  The only place and time in which we can ever be is here and now.  Yet, our mental constructs and associated feelings can carry us into innumerable realms of fantasy.  But, is that really where we want to be?  No matter how great the past may be to our minds or even our hearts, it is still the past.  As such, it no longer exists except as a memory ... and often as a distorted memory at that.  No matter how great the future may be to our minds and even our hearts, it is still the future, the stuff of our imagination that may or may not ever be realized.  What we are facing in the moment is what is, and what is can only be transformed in the moment.  The moment is the only point of power.  And, it is our choices in that moment that determine what we experience.  One of the choices that we make is to associate or disassociate from what we are experiencing.  Another choice is to assign meaning to what we experience.  Note, the experience in and of itself doesn't contain meaning, it is our choice to apply a given meaning that makes it real to us.  It helps to apply empowering meanings.  But, that is a choice for us to make.  Literally, much of reality creation is the process of assigning meaning to the content of our lives.  The meaning that we apply in turn changes the very content of what we experience.  The name of the game is to have fun and be happy.  It is surprising to see how few people seem to be able to do this well.  Personally, I'm not there yet.  But, it is all a state of mind.  So, what will be in the moment is truly up to me.  But, how do we apply this on a larger scale to the collective?  What does it take to create an enlightened society?  What does it take to create an enlightened world?  The answer that comes to mind is PRESENCE.  What I mean be that is simply being ... not thinking, not feeling, not doing ... just being.  I can see the objections of those who like to do things, or think things, or feel things.  But, I'm not asking for opinions.  The secret to life is to BE.  Being is it's own justification.  There is no because.  There is no answer to Why Are We?  In fact, there are no answers to many basic questions.  That is not to say that answers have no be proposed.  It is to say that there are no RIGHT answers to some of the most basic questions.  That is OK.  Being is a mystery, as is life, as is consciousness.

The expression continues to be unveiled in the moment.  Of late, the musings have been completely new.  There is an obvious change in the content of what is being expressed.  What is coming forth now, has never come forth in this manner before ... at least not through this channel.  I am excited by the newness of it all, looking ever forward to what is to come next.  Though even that implies living for the future.  But, this expression comes forth spontaneously in the now.  I see it letter by letter and word by word.  Typed expression is linear in time.  It is ever operating in the moment.  That is where the creative work is done.  There is no planning or foresight regarding what will come.  And, what has come is lost almost immediately due to the focus on the present.  PRESENCE.  Yes, that is what it is all about.  That is what distinguishes a stream of consciousness from other written works.  Here, there is no editing or revisiting what has been said.  Here, there are no objectives or goals to guide the expression.  Here, there is only NOW, the infinite moment in which all life resides.  Here, there is only IS.  When engaged in this expression, I am the active observer watching my mind hear and my fingers type what source would reveal.

The time says to stop, but the energy says to continue.  At this point, I opt for the later.  Why does that not surprise me?  Here and now, I am happily being whom that I am.  I also happen to be doing something that I love to do.  What more could one ask for?   Indeed!  There is something about operating in the moment, completely relying on other than conscious communication to bring forth material from source that is intoxicating ... and I don't even drink alcohol.  Here, I get to fly, and to soar to places that by all rights I should not be able to reach.  Yet, we have thousands of pages of works that testify to this process.  Surely, I am not alone in being able to do this.  Surely, others have developed their intuition sufficiently to tap into a source deep within themselves.  But, what does that mean.  What is deep within myself?  Is it me or is it not me?  Hmm ... something suggest that it is neither, and that sent shivers rushing through my body.  Generally, that means that I've encountered a grand truth.  Is there anything that is not me?  If there is only ONE, then how could there be?  Hmm ... I AM is expressed in the first person singular.  Yet, God told Moses, I AM THAT I AM.  And, is not God also ALL THAT IS?  The answer to What Am I is I AM.  It is not further defined by any specific characteristics.  Further, I AM is what we all are when we stop pretending as resort to being.  There is a lot to be said about this.  Dysfunctional behavior arises not from being, but from being trapped in illusion.  And, much behavior of individuals as well as of the collective is dysfunctional at best, and downright destructive in many cases.  It all comes down to believing and being our stories of whom that we are, rather than simply being whom that we are.  The stories are fiction.  The I AM is the only truth.  Yet, while we are experiencing the stories they can appear quite real.


29 April 2008

An interesting musing yesterday.  But then, they are all interesting to me.  They are all evidence of consciousness in action expressing through me.  Of late, though, the focus has been different.  There has been a definite impact from what I've been reading to what is expressed.  This has happened before, but not so quickly and not as strongly.  I find it fascinating that it is happening now.  But, it is not surprising.  Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth: Finding Your Life's Purpose either has struck a chord or springs forth from the same well of consciousness, the same source.  Oh, Eckhart's background and experiences are completely different than mine.  But, we have stumbled on some of the same truths regarding the nature of consciousness.  I'm curious to see where the final third of the book will take me.  Books are adventures for the mind and spirit.  At least, that is true for the books that I am moved to read.  And, it is the adventure, the journey that matters.  I have no destination that I care to reach.  There is only the present moment and what that brings into my life, into my PRESENCE.  Yes, there is something about that that is important ... PRESENCE.  And, we mean it on several levels, presence of body, presence of mind, presence of emotion, and presence of spirit.  All that is ever asked of us is to BE.  Ultimately, it is not what we think, nor what we feel, that is important ... it is what we ARE.  The more aware that we are, the better, not only for ourselves but for all those whose lives we touch.  When we are aware, we are in touch with the divine within us.  Actually, it is more than within us.  It is us, whole and complete.  Yet, it is not static and unchanging.  It is ever growing and evolving into more than it was.  But, the very way that was expressed implies a past evolving to a future.  And, isness, doesn't exist in such a realm.  It does not change or grow or evolve.  It simply unfolds naturally and brilliantly to be all that it is.  Beingness is all about being, not about becoming.  Becoming is part of a construct which say I am not now what I desire to be, and that somehow in the future I will become something different than I am.  But, this only works in the realm of idea construction, in the domain of thoughtforms.  The truth be known, we already are what we are.  We already are the BEINGS that we are.  Unfortunately, most people don't consciously realize that yet.  But, the collective awareness is changing, even as individuals are awakening to their true natures.

This is deep stuff tonight.  Yet, the pace is relatively rapid.  We've definitely reached a new level of expression.  Ultimately, what is it that truly matters in life?  The bottom line is how well we have lived.  But, what does it take to live well?  To be present in each moment.  Yes, PRESENCE, makes all of the difference.  Though, presence implies awareness as well.  To be present, we have to stop resisting.  To be present, we have to be in the moment.  To be present, we have to allow others to be in the moment as well, without judgement or condemnation.  This can be difficult to do, but it does not have to be.  Choose to be peaceful, and you will experience peace.  Choose to be helpful, and you will be helped.  Choose to assist in making others more abundant, and you will be made more abundant.  What you wish to experience, give freely to others.  What you give will be returned to you manyfold ... such is universal law.  Carry with you an attitude of gratitude.  There are so many things for which to be grateful, life itself being chief among these.  A little gratitude goes a long way ... a lot takes you to the moon and back ... perhaps even further when dealing in the realms of consciousness.

Getting back to the title of Eckhart Tolle's book, I'm interested in seeing what he has to say regarding finding your life's purpose.  We've spoken here of purpose a lot over the years, primarily my purpose.  That being to create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.  For a long time, we have interpreted express in flesh to mean doing something creative through flesh.  But, it seems that may not be necessary after all.  It is not the doing that matters, it is the BEING.  One interpretation of spirit expressing in flesh, is simply for spirit to BE in flesh.  The mind is also expressed in flesh, and it is ever doing by its ceaseless thinking.  The mind cannot just BE.  It is ever in the process of evaluating and remembering where it has been and projecting where it wants to be or even not be.  The mind lives within the realm of time, whereas the spirit is timeless.  BEING is timeless.  What more can I say?  Obviously, a lot.  What comes forth never ceases to amaze me.  The creativity of consciousness knows no bounds.  And, it seems that in her service, we know no bounds as well.  Here is where we get a glimpse of eternity.  Here is where we get to experience doing without doing, and thinking without thinking.  But we can never be without being, try though we might.  For that goes against our very nature.  Despite all that we say, and think, and do ... still we are.  And, it is not that we are this or we are that ... we simply are.  Being this or being that requires an association with a particular form, even if it is only a thoughtform.  Any such form by its very nature is restrictive and limiting.  As such, it goes against our very nature.  When we can BE, free of all such forms, we have truly begun to live.  However, the ego is very attached to form.  In fact, without form, it cannot exist.  The more attached that we are to things and to forms, including thoughtforms and even emotions, the more ego has a hold over us.  And, it's grip can be quite strong.  But, allow the light of consciousness to shine forth, and the darkness of the ego recedes and even vanishes.  At first, this may only be for awhile.  But, in time, the moments grow longer and become an expanded presence.

On and on and on we go.  But, to what end?  Actually, to no end.  The process is everything.  The moment cares not about consequences, especially if we are doing what we are moved by spirit to do in the moment.  And, isn't everyone doing precisely that in each moment.  Yes, some are more conscious of what they are doing than others.  But, conscious or not, we are all doing what we must.  But, what about free will and choice?  Does it truly exist in the world?  Interesting that this should come up again.  One of the basic premises of new age thinking is: we create our own reality both individually and en masse.  And, we do it via our beliefs and the choices of action that we take.  This seems to be a partial truth.  It seems to apply to the reality that we experience ... but much of it seems to happen on other than conscious levels.  BEING lies beyond any beliefs or any choices of action.  It simply is, and it does what it is moved to do.  Behind the scenes, there is a unity, a ONEness that is consciousness herself expressing as and through all of us simultaneously.  As a result, incredible cooperation is at the root of all existence.  That we haven't manifested this cooperation consciously is a characteristic of the age.  But, we are at the brink of a new age.  And, it is time for our expression to reach new heights.  We are meant to soar in consciousness, not be trapped by forms that bind or restrict us.  And, individually and collectively we will be what we are meant to be ... and as a result do what we are meant to do.  We are the hands, the arms, the fingers, the legs, the feet, and the brain of consciousness.  We are meant to do her bidding as if it were our own, because ultimately it is our own.

I had thought the pace was quicker than normal, but either my perception was in error, or I lost track of time in some way.  Oh well, the expression is what it is.  I am that I am.  I AM.  Beingness, PRESENCE ... these are what matter.  All else is illusion.  Even these words are illusions.  They convey thoughts that ultimately point you to something.  Hopefully, they point you to whom that you are.  Hopefully, they allow you to drop some of the trappings that you have built up around you and find that space within to truly be yourself.  Being an extreme introvert may have made the path a little easier for me.  Though, it has taken me half a century to get where I AM.  I choose to share all of this because I am moved to do so by a force within that I cannot deny.  What you do with this material is up to you.  I ask that if you must judge it, you do so based not on any opinions you have formed of me, but based solely on utility.  Does what the material has to offer serve you and others in your life.  If so, we have been true to source and done our spiritual job well.  If not, by all means go elsewhere and find something that does serve whom that you are.  In the end, it is whom we are and the services that we provide to each other that matter.  Nothing else. 

We're closing in on five thousand words for the week and we are just getting started.  It feels great to be "back in the saddle again" expressing in this manner.  Yes, everything within me says this is what I am meant to do, this is what I am meant to be.  Though, there was something a bit shallow in that final pronouncement.  Let's explore it a little.  This is what - one who expresses a stream of consciousness from a source within.  I am meant to be - Hmm ... there is a sense of limitation there, as if this is a form that I have accepted as whom that I am.  The bottom line is that I have allowed erroneous thinking to confine and limit me to being something that I am not.  Yes, this endeavor is something grand that I enjoy.  But, it is not me.  Not the works that come forth.  Not the co-creator of those works.  I am the one that watches all of this happening in my life.  I am the one that is living my life.  I am the one that is living.  I am the ONE.  I AM.  Interesting how the meaning changes as we allow the parts to fall away as they will.  Words have the power to point to grand truths.  However, they can never contain such truths.  Neither can the mind contain such truths, nor the heart for that matter.  It is only the beingness that can contain such truths, and it already knows them ... it is simply a matter of remembering.  And, we always remember what we need to know in the moment.  Spirit clearly operates from a need to know principle.  She assures that we remember or encounter what we need to know when we need to know it.  I've spoken of how my memory operates before.  In general, I consider it a poor memory.  It forgets most things immediately, and seems to have little recall of anything.  Yet, via consciousness, in just over 15 years, it has expressed close to 5 million words in a stream of consciousness manner.  Where does all of this expression come from?  And, what allows it to be organized and expressed in the manner that it comes forth?  The bottom line is that I do not know ... it is a sublime mystery.  Further, there is a very real sense that I never will know the answers to these questions.  And, that is OK.  In a very real respect, it is much like being.  We simply are who we are and we do as we are moved to do.


30 April 2008

Wow!  It is 30 April already.  That means that we are already one-third of the way through the year.  We're at around the 25 musing point, not bad given that we didn't start until 5 Mar and we were gone for nearly ten days to France.  That's roughly a musing every other day.  I've definitely done worse ... but I've also done much better, musing 9 days out of every 10 on average for two years straight.  But, I can tell this is going to be a good year ... both for me and for this expression.  Change is clearly coming.  Dramatic change that will radically alter the way we see ourselves, our work, and our world.  Hmm ... I welcome such changes in my life.  It is about time once again.  Actually, that is not quite right ... it is about NOW.  Change can only happen in the present.  And, it will only happen if we invite it and allow it.  More than at any other time in my life, I feel ready to embark on a new journey.  Oh, I've been on several journeys of consciousness in my days.  But, something seems different now ... I am different now.  There is something special in this moment.  And, this moment is the only moment, it is the eternal presence.  Out of that presence, all possibilities and probabilities arise.  What we experience and how we experience it all come from that point.  There is only NOW.  There is only HERE.  The is only I AM.  Everything else is illusion.  An entertaining illusion, yes, but illusion nonetheless.  What does this stream of consciousness bring into my life?  The practice of connecting to a source within and expressing the energy that comes therefrom.  The opportunity to serve as the instrument through which spirit expresses as she will in the world.  A wealth of information and even wisdom concerning the nature of consciousness, the nature of reality, and reality creation.  All of these are good things.  Some of these are even grand things.  However, I don't make the mistake of believing that all of this is me or is coming forth from me.  In fact, I know that it is not.  That makes it all the more mysterious and interesting.  It is interesting enough to me to command my attention for 6-10 hours per week.  That is a sizeable investment of time and energy.  But, it is worth it, every minute of it.  I can think of nothing else that I would rather do, nothing else that even comes close.  That is saying a lot.  The phrase sad but true comes to mind.  But, I feel no sadness from this ... only joy and happiness.  There is something fulfilling about having a record of consciousness in expression.  A record that stretches for over 15 years of my life.  A record that has probably exceeded the 5 million word mark.  That is quite an accomplishment.  But, it is spirit's accomplishment.  I just participated by allowing it to happen through me.  Yes, that is the key ... allowing.  Awareness, allowance, and acceptance are all important.  Without awareness, consciousness is blocked, having no vessel through which to come forth.  Without allowance, the will is not aligned with the WILL of consciousness.  Without acceptance, the self is in conflict with the greater SELF, the ONE consciousness of which we all are part.  For the work of spirit to be done, we must accept our true nature and realize that we are the awareness, the consciousness, that resides in the form.  We are not the form.  All form is transitory.  It is everchanging.  What we are is beyond all of that.  We are the observer residing in the machine.  We are the thinker, not the thoughts.  We are the feeler, not the feelings.  We are the enjoyer of things, not the things nor even their possessor.  The possessor of things is one of the concepts that we have of ourselves.  But, things are of the realm of form.  They cannot be "owned" by the formless.  That doesn't mean that we cannot use things and even enjoy there use.  Similarly, we can experience thought and emotions and enjoy our experiences.  But, don't mistake the illusion for reality.  For doing so only shackles us.  And, our nature calls for us to be free.  FREEDOM.  Such an awesome word.  Something countless numbers have been willing to fight and even to die for.  However, it would be better if it were treated as something to LIVE for.  In our souls, we are FREE.  We have always been so, and can never be otherwise.  We are living at a time when we can truly raise this to a whole new level and make it conscious.  The question is will we do so and when?  The answer to the first part is indeed, we will.  The answer to the second part is the only answer that there ever is regarding when ... NOW.  We can only BE in the moment.  We can only DO in the moment.  We can only THINK and FEEL in the moment.  Literally, there is no other time that exists.  So, the issue is not when.  The issue is what do we choose to BE.  And, out of this BEING, what are we naturally moved to DO, THINK, and FEEL?

Note, however that it is the BEING that comes first.  Note also, the phraseology used was "what do we choose to BE".  Is this something that we can choose?  At the very least, we can choose what we are conscious of ... maybe not all the time, but at least in moments and eventually for extended periods.  So yes, it is a matter of choice.  But, the choice is more of an acceptance and an allowance of an awareness.  And what does it mean to be aware?  Is this not to be conscious of?  And, is not consciousness equated to beingness.  What we are truly conscious of, we are.  For, in the end, there is only BEINGNESS.  All else is illusion.  Yes, there are some elaborate illusions ... some spanning the entire world.  But, the number of people involved in an illusion doesn't change the facts ... it is still illusion.  If we want to stop the insanity in our world, and there is a lot of it, then we need to expose the illusions for what they are and free people so that they can choose which illusions they desire to participate in.  This is not some lofty goal.  It is one of the prerequisites for entering the new age.  It is not clear how many people are willing to take things this far.  In fact, at the moment, it is probably a small minority.  However, many see the insanity.  Many see that the world is not working and that things are only getting worse.  These people are open to awakening.  Whether the awakening will happen or not, only consciousness knows.  And, she remains unfathomable despite all attempts to understand her.  Such attempts are always mental attempts.  And thoughts are not sufficient to capture what she is.  Consciousness is formless.  The form can never capture the formless, it can only point to it.  Some pointers are better than others.  And, different kinds of pointers seem to appeal to different people.  In some respects, it is amazing that we can communicate at all regarding these things ... or, these no-things as it were.

The expression continues at a level of depth that is refreshing.  Clearly, it is influenced by what I am reading.  Yet, there are no direct connections that I am aware of making.  That is just how it is.  Inflow and outflow ... breathe in and breathe out ... ever the cycle continues.  So it is with my consciousness as well.  It takes things in and it flows things out.  It doesn't matter that the expression that comes out is for my eyes only.  What matters is that it does come out and get recorded.  At the very least, this allows it to remain present in my NOW forever.  Hmm ... I've never expressed it in that way before.  It is not that the expression is ever on my mind.  Rather, at any time, I can choose to make it part of my now.  There is something powerful in that.  Books have always been that way for me.  Words carry me more than any other things.  They have done so as far back as I can remember.  Though, over the years, they competed with numbers for my attention.  Being aware of being aware.  That is one of the states that we strive to achieve often.  As I type this, I am aware of feeling my fingers and seeing them move across the keyboard even as I see each letter appear in a window on the computer monitor screen.  Further I am aware of being aware of this and of sensing an inner voice expressing word by word.  I can also see things such as my glasses and statues, boxes, and paintings on the periphery of my vision.  All of this happens simultaneously.  It doesn't interrupt the flow of this expression.  Yet, I AM more than that.  I am the BEING that is aware of all of this, the being through whom this expression is happening.  Where is the source?  Though I say it is deep within ... it is not anywhere within my body, or within my mind, or even within what I consider to be my being.  It is just there, nowhere.  The idea just came to mind to consider I versus NOT I.  Being, I still associate with I.  Source, I associate with NOT I, with consciousness herself.  I still consider myself separate from consciousness.  But, is not being = consciousness.  If so, then the I / NOT I dichotomy is an illusion.  It is not real.  There is only ONE consciousness, and it is ALL THAT IS.  I can argue that, but somehow the argument seems false.  God and Me, Me and God, are ONE.  This was a mantra that I remember from a yoga class.  How many times have we said We Are ONE and There is only ONE consciousness?  This is a truth, it is not a matter of belief.  When will you realize this?  WOW!  We are clearly onto something here.  The shivers through the entire body attest to that again.  The only come when the grand truths appear.

Hmm ... we've been living with this dichotomy of I / Source for over 15 years.  It is time to put an end to it.  We do that through awareness, through being whom that we are.  At this point, that seems to involve investigating this thing that I call the source within, this thing that expresses so eloquently in this stream of consciousness.  And, it is a stream of consciousness.  It comes forth through my intuition.  It comes forth through allowance, acceptance, and awareness.  Do I need to know how it comes forth?  No, it is enough to engage in the process.  Fifteen years of expression demonstrate firsthand that you know enough to allow it to come forth.  Do I need to know from where it comes?  What is this thing I call source?  This is a stream of consciousness.  It comes forth from consciousness.  There is no this consciousness or that consciousness, there is only the ONE Consciousness.  But, the words are the form.  Out of the formless comes the formed.  And, in this case anyway, the formed points back to the formless from which it came.  So, where am I in the process?  You are the formed and the formless.  More explicitly, you are the formless creating form and expressing through the forms.  The forms are ultimately your creation and are your illusions as well.  When you focus on the formed you express as the ego.  When you focus on the formless you express as the spiritual being.  This later is your true state ... but, you already know that.  In this expression, you literally are doing without doing.  Your hopes of getting the expression out to an audience were attempts to make the form something it is not.  Don't try so hard.  Continue to BE, and out of that BEING, do what you are moved to do.  Nothing else is important.  Looking back a few lines ... how do I realize that this stream of consciousness is also what I AM?  The very question provides its own answer.  Simply realize that.


1 May 2008

Another month gone.  And, another book finished.  No, not one of mine this time.  Though, I did read 2003 Musings - Vol III for an hour or so late last night when I couldn't fall asleep.  Earlier last night, I had finished reading Eckhart Tolle's book:  A New Earth: Finding Your Life's Purpose.  From what I read, it seems that I am well on my way to finding both my inner and outer purpose.  It is all about living it.  It is all about BEING.  It is all about doing that comes from BEING whom that we truly are.  There are many deceptions out there that can trap us.  Thought forms and emotions are major ones.  It is not that these are bad in and of themselves.  Rather it is how we identify with them that makes it so.  When we believe that the thought forms or emotions are who we are, rather than simply what we are experiencing in the moment ... we give them power over us that is not rightly theirs.  This very expression points to whom that I am, but it is not whom that I am.  It is a sea of words that have come forth via a stream of consciousness.  Yes, it is an impressive body of works.  But, it is not me.  In many respects, it is not even of me.  It comes from a source deep within that is somehow separate from what I consider to be me.  Perhaps my concept of self is still far too limited.  I am the one through whom all of this can come forth.  But, I have no sense of creating any of this.  It just happens.  It just flows forth effortlessly and elegantly.  Then again, perhaps that is a characteristic of all spiritual expression.  It just is.  It just manifests in our lives.  In a very real way, it is the stuff of which our lives are made.  The works of consciousness are not consciousness.  Yet, the saying: "ye shall know them by their works" expresses a grand truth.  My works happen to be written ones ... and even then, they are not really mine.  Yes, they come forth through me.  But, a baby comes forth through its mother.  We don't say the baby was created by the mother.  Rather, the work was a result of a mysterious process of reproduction, wherein a new physical form is created through which life or consciousness can express.  This body of work is the only baby that I am going to have in this existence.  I chose to forego having children of the body.  Instead, I have children of the mind, or more correctly children of consciousness.  But, what do these children have to offer to others and to the world?  Through these words, I would hope to be a teacher and a mentor.  What comes forth is wise beyond measure, because it has the characteristics of consciousness itself.  No, that is not quite right.  Form can never have the characteristics of that which is formless.  It can point to such characteristics, but it can never BE such characteristics.  Form can never BE.  Only BEINGNESS can BE.  Only the ONE consciousness can BE.  I AM period.  I am _____ only specifies a form of limitation no matter how we fill in the blank.  We are here to go beyond all limitations.  We can only do that through BEING and PRESENCE.  These are the keys to ultimate freedom ... and that is the only true freedom.  I AM.  I AM.  I AM.  This statement is that important that it needed to be repeated. 

Obviously, the impact of Eckhart Tolle's book is still being felt.  I know that, even though my memory of what was in the book is vague and rapidly fading.  I also know that the book came to my awareness at an appropriate time.  That has been happening with me and books since 1974, when I first encountered the Seth books by Jane Roberts.  Wow!  Can it really be 34 years already?  That is over two-thirds of my life.  There is still a strong sense that dramatic change is forthcoming, not only in my life but for the world.  And, the timing will be soon.  Hmm ... something seems shallow about that.  The sense is that the timing is NOW, or it simply will not be.  There is only a single point where anything can happen, including change ... and that is the everlasting NOW.  So, what changes if the time for these changes that I sense is NOW?  That would mean that the changes already exist ... but that I am simply not aware of them.  Interesting.  We haven't pursued this line of inquiry before.  So, how do I shift my focus, my consciousness, to become aware of these changes.  Simply being curious and open to them is enough.  Remain open and aware, and they will enter your reality.  And, as you share your reality with others, the changes will be imparted to them too.  Another approach is to find others who are already aware of the changes and share their reality.  The bottom line is that on inner levels everything that will ever exist already exists.  It is a matter of bringing that forth into manifestation, into form.  The process of doing this is reality creation.  Everyone is already a master in the process of reality creation, though primarily at other than conscious levels.  Here we are speaking of conscious reality creation.  There is the potential for us to muck things up collectively if we don't get it right.  Just look at the present state of the world.  Dysfunction is rampant from individuals to the collective.  The major reason for this is that we are not PRESENT.  We are acting from form rather than from BEING.  And, we are doing great harm to ourselves, to one another, and to our world in the process.  This must change, and will change.  It is only a matter of when.  And, as we have said before ... the answer to when is always NOW.

Repeat - everything that will ever exist already exists.  It exists in the realm of BEING, in the realm of consciousness.  We find those things that we need to manifest by allowing ourselves to BE and to do what we are moved to do.  Our doing will be an act of creation, especially if we allow consciousness herself to do the doing.  How do we do that?  We simply allow the PRESENCE to manifest in us.  No, that is not quite right ... depending on our definition of us.  If us is beingness, then yes, the presence can manifest.  If us is form, then we can only catch glimpses of the PRESENCE that may lead us to beingness.   If you would create anything in your life, simply allow it to be here now.  That is the secret to manifestation.  Become that which you choose to be.  Or more precisely, become the experiencer of that which you choose to experience.  It has also been stated as: act as if.  And, that works, because you already are what you firmly believe yourself to be.  Though be careful here.  If you believe yourself to be some thing, or some emotion, or even some thought ... you believe yourself to be form, which is limiting no matter how expansive the form may appear.  So, believe yourself to be formless, beyond all forms yet creating forms and expressing through forms.  In particular, believe that you are BEINGNESS or consciousness or spirit or even God for you are all of those and more, much more.

How do we align our outer purpose with our inner purpose?  The answer to that implies that we need to know what these two purposes are.  The inner purpose is simple ... to reach a state of conscious BEINGNESS.  The outer purpose is to express that BEINGNESS in the forms that we create and in our expression through those forms in a way that serves others and our world.  The inner purpose is the same for everyone.  The outer purpose is different and unique for everyone.  We find our outer purpose moment by moment by allowing consciousness to express through us as she will.  But, the ego says what about me?  Identified as it is with the realm of form, it is fearful for its very existence.  As it should be ... for when we are egoless, we are truly operating at a whole new level attuned to our very nature.  It is not that there is a competition between the ego and the BEINGNESS.  The form and the formless can never be in competition.  Neither can the formless and the formless, if indeed they could ever be distinct and separate.  Which they cannot, for any sense of separateness implies a duality which cannot exist in the realm of the formless.  Even that last phrase is a misnomer.  The realm of the formless implies there may be a distinction between what is formless and its environment or realm, and such cannot be.  Hmm ... we are being more precise in how we use language tonight.  But, there is a reason for it.  We are attempting to convey spiritual truths in a manner that we have not expressed before.  Right NOW, that seems to be the appropriate thing to do.  How long it will continue depends on what consciousness needs to express.  Hmm ... consciousness needs to express implies that consciousness has needs, which also is in error.  Consciousness creates forms and expresses through those forms.  That is the awesome power of consciousness.  I am one of the forms that consciousness has created and expresses through.  Aha!  That is not correct either.  I am not a form!  I AM!  Beingness is not a form, it just is.  My body, my brain, my mind, my thoughts, my emotions ... these are all forms through which I experience and express.  They are not me.  Forms can never be me.  I am the eternal PRESENCE in the NOW.  I am consciousness expressing in flesh.  Yet, how can I see this expression as coming from something other than I am?  The bottom line is I cannot.  There is no separation in the formless, only in the formed.  The consciousness in me is the same as the consciousness in you.  The presence that is me is the same as the presence that is you.  At the level of the formless, we are all ONE.  There can be no other.  There is only IS.


2 May 2008

My wife’s computer at home is working very slowly, so I’m not sure if or how much I’ll be able to express this weekend.  Oh well, we’ll just have to see what is able to come forth.  For the past few days, we have been on a roll, expressing in a manner that we have never expressed before.  We’ll have to see whether that continues.  The key point yesterday was that I am consciousness, not the form or even entity through which consciousness is expressing.  I AM.  The I AM is formless.  It can never be contained within or even a part of any form.  Further, no form is a part of it.  The formed can never be a part of the formless.  It just doesn’t work like that.  So, why do I associate myself as the one through whom this stream of consciousness comes?  That very concept is limiting whom that I am, and keeping me attached to the form.  No, I am not attached to the stream of consciousness, though I do love bringing it forth.  I realize that the stream of consciousness comes from a source of which I am only aware by what it brings forth.  By their works shall thou know them.  Yes, that is a grand truth.  But, the works can only point to the BEING that is responsible for them.  The BEING is far grander than anything that can be expressed.  Further, there is only ONE BEING.  All of us are expressions of that ONE BEING.  But, are not expressions forms?  It seems that we are dealing with a contradiction here.  Yet, we are more than the forms and works done through those forms.  We are BEING, rooted in the NOW.  We are the eternal PRESENCE.  And all of these are formless.  This is our natural heritage.  It is what we are.  Only we have consciously forgotten.  Our very world is the result of this forgetfulness.  It is time to awaken to our true nature.  It is time for the separateness to end, and the unity to take its place.  But, what is the utility of the separateness?  Surely it exists for a reason.  What might that be?  We experience separateness as a natural state of the outgoing expression of consciousness.  Consciousness creates worlds and forms through which to express.  That is just what it does.  The worlds and forms and expression are judged solely on the basis of utility and elegance.  But, there is an inner purpose to all of this activity.  It is to discover that our true nature is beingness, which is formless and eternal.  This inner purpose drives all of us to seek the moreness of life, to go beyond the forms and thoughts and emotions and experiences that constitute our reality.  It does this more for some than for others.  But, eventually, all are called back home to the ONE consciousness from which they came.  Whether individuality remains when we reach home, who knows.  But, there is a sense that we don’t reach oneness in one step.  Glimpses of oneness enter our awareness.  These heightened moments become more and more frequent.  Eventually, our lives just flow as a natural expression of spirit in flesh.  And, when we leave flesh, our lives continue to flow in whatever forms we occupy next.  The leap from formed to formless is a quantum one.  It is not about experiencing new and different forms.  It is something far more than this.  Exactly what, I cannot say for I do not know.  At least, the part of me expressing here and now does not know.  I am still awakening to the realization that I am the consciousness through which this stream of consciousness comes forth.  At some level, I am this consciousness that I call source.  There can be no other consciousness.  The only things that are not me are indeed things, thoughts, and emotions.  What I call source is none of these, though she expresses primarily as thoughts.  Source is consciousness.  I am consciousness.  Source and me, me and source are ONE.  All of what has come forth through me, comes forth from the formless that I AM.  As such, it points back to itself.  It is curious that I speak in terms of consciousness herself, the divine feminine.  But, that is how I experience consciousness.

So, what is the right expression through form?  The bottom line is whatever spirit would express is perfectly fine.  Though on an individual or collective basis it may be dysfunctional and even highly so.  Dysfunction occurs when we mistake the illusion of form for the reality of the formless.  Dysfunction occurs when we believe our stories rather than our BEINGNESS.  Dysfunction occurs when we allow our thought and feelings to define who we are.  The bottom line is that forms can only be who we are to the degree that we believe them to be.  And our beliefs are greatly deceived in this area.  We are operating at our finest when we are doing what we love to do and when we are doing it with focused attention.  It is the love and the focused attention that turn whatever work we are doing into great work.  And, this is the primary work that is deserving of our presence.  That is also an important factor, being present in what we do.  That is what focused awareness brings to bear.  The bottom line is to do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it.  In practical terms, that means to do what you are moved to do NOW.  There is always room for one more step.  And, spirit will point us in the right direction to take that step if only we look within and listen to what she has to say.

Collecting the musings for the past few years, I was amazed.  There were no musings in 2004, four musings in 2005, six musings in 2006, and no musings in 2007.  Given that there were over 300 musings in 2002, and over 300 musings in 2003 … that was quite some dry spell.  Oh well, it was what it was.  This year we are already at 30 and we didn’t start until March.  That’s three times the total musings for the prior four years combined.  I don’t know why the musings started back again, or why they dropped off for those four years.  But, I am excited by what is coming forth and am enthusiastic about living again.  I’m also reading more than I have in some time.  Reading is how I take in new information.  Nearly everything that I read is metaphysical.  I consider this expression to be metaphysical as well.

For your eyes only.  That theme crosses my mind once again.  Then why was I moved to publish the Beyond Imagination books?  Was that solely an outcome of my ego?  Did I so need to be an author that I did what it took to self-publish?  Hmm … what recognition came from it?  Or, was seeking recognition a key motivator?  I only know that from July 2003 to March 2004, nine Beyond Imagination books were published.  To date, other than my purchases, less than a dozen books have been sold in over four years.  Clearly, the universe did not agree with my need to publish these books.  Why is that?  The books are original and contain a wealth of metaphysical information.  Why have people not been moved to buy them?  No, I have not done much to advertise them.  My sense was that spirit produced them and spirit knew who the intended audience might be.  My circle of acquaintances is very small, probably less than a few dozen.  And, most of these, I don’t know enough to know whether they might be interested in the material revealed here.  For your eyes only.  Can all of this be an elaborate production just for me?  If so, consciousness goes to great lengths to bring awareness to individuals.  Perhaps that is because it is only through such that we become aware beings.  As the collective begins to awaken, this will become easier, but for those who are meant to blaze the trails and be the wayshowers, no expense is spared.  Resources are always provided where they are needed.  When you have something to truly share with others, you will find yourself sharing it naturally and abundantly.  Hmm … that implies that our attempts to share have been lacking in some way.  Indeed they have.  There is still a lot of ego invested in what you have to say, in being metaphysical, and in being spiritual.  BEING itself does not carry any ego, period.  It cannot, for its realm is the formless, as you well know.  The ego is what I am in the formed.  So long as you have concern as to what people think of you in this domain, you allow their judgment to have power over you.  That is not the way that it is meant to be.  That is not the way that you are meant to be.

Note, that doesn’t mean the material is not good.  It just means that you were not ready for it to reach the audience that you sought.  You are in the process of becoming ready.  And, as a result, the Beyond Imagination works will be unleashed to do their intended work in the world.  You will have a role to play in that.  But, it will be one that surprises you.  Then, that is OK.  Surprises are good.  Change is good.  The unknown is good.  Is this any more than wishful thinking?  The bottom line is that there is a destiny unfolding in your life.  What will happen has already happened.  It is only your sense of time that forces it to unfold moment by moment.  It is not something to get anxious about.  You will be driven to do what you need to do.  It helps if you do it willfully and joyfully.  After all, life is meant to be fun. 

I’m still in the process of realizing that the source of this expression is the consciousness that I AM.  For 15 years, we have experienced ourself as the instrument through which consciousness expresses.  But, an instrument is just another form, and our true nature is formless.  We are consciousness herself, not the instrument that is played by her.  This takes a shift of focus.  This requires observing source in action, and the instrument in action.  I don’t know anything more about how source functions than how the instrument functions.  But I know that I can shift my awareness.  And I know that such awareness shifts are breakpoints that allow us to experience something completely new in a whole new way.  These writings have essentially been automatic.  I step aside and allow them to come forth.  But, what is this I that steps aside?  It is my conscious need to know what I am doing before I do it.  It is the part of me that lives in the future and the past.  Hmm … is that not what the ego is?  So, is the instrument the form without the ego?  But, if that is so, why do such grandiose pronouncements come forth?  Why do I need to play such a major role in building the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh?  Because something deep within me says that this is my outer purpose, my mission, in this existence.  Besides, would all of this expression be coming forth in this manner for any other end?  My sense is no, it would not.  I believe what comes forth here … more so than I believe anything else.  That it has come forth in the manner that it has for so much of my adult life makes it all the more compelling.  That it has not reached others in the quantity or way that I had imagined doesn’t matter.  My life is unfolding exactly as it must.  That is true for each and every one of us.


3 May 2008

Another day, another musing.  This time we are getting started earlier in the day and on a weekend.  Surprise, surprise.  Four to five years ago, I was doing this often.  But, that has been awhile.  Oh well, what must be expressed will be expressed in the only moment that it can be expressed, right NOW.  That is where the power of creation is applied, in the present moment.  I’m still thinking about the idea that I cannot be the instrument through whom this stream of consciousness expressed.  The instrument is form, only form, never anything more.  I have so associated with being the instrument, and a proud instrument at that, that I did not see deeper and realize that I AM more than this, much more.  I am the consciousness that is creating the instrument and doing the expressing.  WOW!  That is a powerful realization, but it is not quite mine yet.  Perhaps it will never be.  Perhaps it is not something that I can make “mine”.  Perhaps it is something I just have to be.  Hmm … we’ve been expressing in new ways of late.  I like that.  Clearly, this is influenced by what I have read.  But, there is a different spin on it that comes from my unique expression of consciousness.  Interesting, “my unique expression of consciousness” speak in terms of this expression of consciousness being of me.  That seems right somehow.  I know it deep within.  Though the mechanics of how this is done and the source consciousness from which it flows are not consciously known to me.  I only know consciousness by what she does through me and through others.  I don’t know the depths of her.  Perhaps this is something that transcends knowing.  It seems that knowing is still of the mind.  And, we have gone far Beyond Mind already.  But, this expression is called Beyond Imagination, and that is something far grander than Beyond Mind.  Our imagination can think of things that never were, and possibly that will never be.  What is the difference between mind and imagination?  Interesting, I have never asked this before.  Both involve thinking, but what is the difference in the nature of thoughts that come from the two?  I don’t have anything in particular to answer.  There is just a sense that the imagination is far more open and less restrictive than the mind.  But, what is the seat of the imagination?  The answer that comes to mind is the soul.

Words … literally million of words have been expressed here since 1993.  But, what is the ultimate impact of that ocean of words.  For one thing, they have changed me, awakening me to parts of myself that I was not even aware existed.  The sense is that they can do this for others as well.  Will they do so?  It seems that depends on consciousness and on me jointly.  If we are moved to make them do so, then they will.  If not, then they will have served their purpose in enlightening me.  Spiritual work is done for the joy of doing it.  What comes of it is for spirit to determine.  But, am I not spirit in expression as well?  Or, more correctly, am I not spirit creating forms and expressing through those forms?  My mind answers yes.  But, that is not enough.  This is not the BEINGNESS, the PRESENCE that I experience in the moment.  Though, give me time.  It has been less than a week since I discovered I am not who I thought that I was.  This came as quite a shock.  After all, 15 years of expression and awakenings have carried me a long way to knowing myself.  But, even with that, there was a fundamental flaw.  Oh, I suspected that something was missing because happiness was elusive and I was ever in search of more.  But, NOW, we see it was right there in front of my face all along.  The very idea that I was the instrument through which spirit expressed separate me from the spirit that is me.  It limited me to being a thing, a form, a vessel … not the essence creating the forms and expressing through them.  For this I have to dive deeper into the realm of the formless.  That still leaves the question of why there are so many individual beings.  Ultimately, yes, there is just BEINGNESS, just the ONE.  But, it is not clear how many levels of consciousness it takes to realize that.  For the moment, in the NOW, we seem to be individual pieces of consciousness, richly connected in a tapestry that constitutes the whole.  How the pieces interact and co-create makes life endlessly fascinating.  So, who am I within this tapestry?  How does what I do fit into the scheme of things?  How do I know when I am doing what I am meant to do?  More questions that I have not asked in this manner before.  You are the I AM as it expresses through you.  Hmm … the seems to be only partially true.  It has a hint of being an instrument again.  Yet, at the same time, it confirms our nature as the I AM.  Quit analyzing so much.  Words can only take you so far.  They can point to your true nature, they can’t express your true nature.  No form can do that.  Even if you were to extend this expression to 20 million words instead of 5 million, you still would not be closer to revealing the truth of whom you are.  Then, why do the words continue to flow?  Because there is utility in having them do so.  What utility?  That is not for us to foretell.  You will see it unfold in your life and the lives of those you touch.  And, it is high time that you started to touch the lives of others more.  You days as a hermit are numbered.  Perhaps this form has outlived its usefulness to you.  That is not to say you can’t enjoy you solitude and time alone.  You just need to get out more and connect with others.  Not to worry, they will be reaching out to connect to you as well.  Just be open to it.  No, we don’t expect you to become a social butterfly.  You will find your own way of expressing and interacting.  The key is to be present.  Your PRESENCE will attract those who need to experience that in their lives.  And, you may be surprised at how present others already are.  You have a tendency to believe that you are superior to others, in particular, more spiritual.  This is an erroneous construct.  All are equally spiritual.  We all come from the formless realm.  It is only the forms and the expression through those forms that are limited.  Until people awaken and become more aware … they will continue to be trapped in the illusion of being the forms and expression that they experience.  You can help to change that.  You might say that such is what Beyond Imagination is here to do.

That makes over 10,000 words for the week and we still have a good few hours to express.  At this point, NOW, there is no thing that I would rather be doing.  This expressing is that fun and that powerful to me.  I never know what will come forth until it happens.  And, even then, I forget it as quickly as it comes forth and have to read it again to capture what was said.  Spontaneous expression, that is what this is.  Further, that is the only kind that seems worthy of me to produce.  The originality, the automatic organization, the lack of conscious planning … all appeal to me.  They are reflected in how I live my life as well.  What would we do next?  The answer is always the same, we do what we are moved by spirit to do.  Right now, that is to continue to express here.  Though, it has been over four years since any of the latest musings were shared with anyone.  They have literally been for my eyes only.  No, there is no sense that limiting them in this way is right or permanent.  It is just that with so much Beyond Imagination material out there already and so little feedback being received, there did not seem to be much point in continuing to share.  I’ve always been concerned about forcing my will upon others, though I didn’t associate this expression as being my will.  However, it was my will to share it on the WWW and in books.  I was hoping that this sharing would result in sufficient income to allow Beyond Imagination to grow into not only my full time occupation, but a means to fund the work of building the foundations for a new world.  This is still my hope.  Though there is no sign that it is to come true anytime soon.  But, I can hope and I can dream, and perhaps my hopes and dreams will come true.  Until then, this continues to be what I love to do and what I am moved to do.  Though, we did lose about four years recently … in which we were rarely moved to express.  Will that happen again?  Perhaps, perhaps not.  I don’t know why it happened this time.  Though, my life seem to happen in cycles of indeterminate length.  There is a time for in breath and a time for out breath.   Such is just how it is in nature. 

At 50 years old, my acquaintances number in the few dozens, my friends fewer than a handful, and my close friends none.  That is how solitary of a life I have lived.  Further, other than my wife of 20 years, only 1 person that I still interact with knew me before I got my present job over 11 years ago.  Over 90 percent of my acquaintances are from work and most of those are less than five years.  My only social interactions are dinners with some of my wife’s friends, and some communication with the people who I live with and rent from in Redondo Beach where I stay during the work week.  Nearly everything else is in the context of work.  So, how do I expect to make a difference to the world from such a limited base?  Good question.  However, while I haven’t focused my attention on the people around me, I have focused a good deal of attention on the books of some of the best metaphysical thinkers in the world.  That does not mean that I can count them as my friends, but indeed I can count the ideas expressed in their works among my closest companions.  Perhaps that is not the same.  But, the words in their works point to their relationship with spirit, with consciousness herself.  Many of these books still grace bookshelves in my house.  In most cases, I have not been moved to revisit these works, but they are there should I be moved to do such.  And, for some of these, such as the Seth books and the Conversations with God books, I have been moved to pick them up again and again.  I should count the Beyond Imagination books in that company as well.  Over the past six months, I was moved to read all of them again, some multiple times.  How can I still get valuable insight from works that came forth through me?  Hmm … that seems to be causing the difficulty in understanding.  I, me, and mine connotate something that seems to be associated with the ego.  As such, they are limited constructs.  How do we go beyond I, me, and mine?  How do we refer to the BEINGNESS, the I AM that we are?  Yes, we can call it PRESENCE or the I AM.  But, how does that distinguish it from the I that we know as the ego?  What is the I that gets valuable insight, and how does it differ from me? 

As you can tell, we are still struggling with a lack of clarity of awareness in this area.  Unfortunately, awareness is not something you can learn or you can use reason to achieve.  Awareness lies in a different domain, and it comes when we are ready to experience it, not until.  That is OK.  Life is unfolding perfectly as it always does.  When we have a need to be more aware, we will be so.  It is that simple.  There is a spiritual economy at work that expresses elegantly in us and through us.  The very fact that we ask certain questions reveals to us that we are ready to hear the answers.  But, we may have to be still and search within to find them.  They are always there, awaiting our discovery.  But, we have to seek to find.  Such it has always been. 

What next?  There is still a strong sense that major change lies just ahead.  At what point will “just ahead” become NOW?  Interesting.  I am noticing that the very way that things are expressed is extremely important if we are to bring them into manifestation.  Take change.  The only time that we can effect any change is in the moment, in the NOW.  Actually, that is the only time that we can do anything.  Unfortunately, most of what we do is more of the same that we have always done.  Change happens when we choose to do something different in the moment.  It also happens when we choose to be something different in the moment.  Though, can we ever choose to be something, or are we simply beingness?  Beingness is not a choice, it is simply what we are.  Though, to be that, we must give up our close identification with the form.  That is not to say that we give up form and the expression through form.  That is part of our outer purpose.  That is the only way to gain the experience of living.  It is the identification with form that is the limitation.  When we believe that the forms are who we are, we have deceived ourselves.  It is better to live in truth than in deceit.  I would be whom I am, in my full glory.  Though, there is a sense of frailty or humbleness at the same time.  Yes, we are glorious, each and every one of us.  And, we are all equals in spirit.  Though, the forms that we create and the what we express through those forms are dramatically different.  But then, that is what reality creation is all about: the creation of forms and expression.

What NOW?  That is a more empowering question than what next?  And, how we answer this very question determines our destiny.  There is always a choice to be made in the moment.  The question to ask is what would spirit or consciousness do NOW?  Generally, there is only one answer to that question, and it is always the most elegant one.  We may have to seek within to find the answer.  But, when we do, we will find that it is virtually effortless for it is the formless that is us that is doing the work.  Yes, it must be done through the forms … that is how things are manifest in the world.  But, the doer is not the form, it is the formless.  And the formless is aware of what it does even as it does it.  The part of me that is conscious of producing this expression is not the formless part of me.  It is that part of me that observes the magic that happens when the formless expresses through form.  It is only through the forms and the expression that I can know it.  Even the state of beingness that I experience at times is not complete.  It has form.  It is accompanied either by thoughts or by feelings or both.  How do we experience the I AM?  Even if we still our minds and focus on our breath, we are still focusing our attention.  Hmm … is the attention of the mind or of the beingness?  And, what is consciousness?  Is it an awareness that is Beyond Mind?  Is it an awareness that is Beyond Imagination?  But what is awareness?  What does it mean to be aware?  How is that different from beingness? 

Be All That You Can Be!  That is the directive of spirit.  It would help if the infrastructures in society were designed to facilitate this for individuals and the collective.  For this to happen, we need everyone to understand their inner and their outer purposes.  The inner purpose is to reach a state of conscious beingness.  The outer purpose is to do what works we are moved to do while remaining true to the inner purpose.  The inner purpose is the same for everyone.  The outer purpose is different for everyone.  Spirit will guide us to find both if we are open to her guidance.  Actually, we will succeed in any event, because success is certain.  The whole matrix has already played itself out.  We are only seeming to experience it in time.  But, that cannot be true.  Time is a mental construct, as is form.  They do not really exist except as illusions through which we can experience particular points of view.  So, what does that do for us?  Play with the reality that you experience.  It is all an elaborate game, and games are meant to allow us to have fun.  So do that … have fun with it, with everything that you experience.  Don’t take it so serious.  Laugh, and laugh some more.  It is through laughter that we truly learn to enjoy the process.  Live gives us the opportunity to learn of the formless through the experience of forms and the expression through those forms.  And we are indeed here to learn of our true nature as formless beings.

4 May 2008

Another day, another musing.  This time on a Sunday.  It will be interesting to see what comes forth.  Then again, it is always interesting to do so.  This stream of consciousness expression has a way of keeping me on my toes, and of surprising me often.  Why should that be the case?  Why do I find consciousness so fascinating?  Something I read earlier today keeps coming to my attention.  The idea that consciousness is part of duality.  There is consciousness and what consciousness is conscious of.  These are not one and the same … hence there is duality.  Anything that is separate from is not real.  Separation is the great lie, the great deceit that most of us have bought into.  But, it is not real.  All That Is is whole and complete and cannot create anything other than that.  Anything else is illusion, is a dream that we experience.  And, dreams are not real, no matter how real they appear to us when we are experiencing them.  So, where do we go from here?  How do we move beyond separation to the true reality of whom we are?  One, we realize that we are living in a dream and do what we can to wake up.  It helps if this is done gently so as not to confuse us.  But, wake up we must do.  I’m at a loss as to where to go next.  It has been awhile since I felt like that.  I’ve spent fifteen years heavily concerned with consciousness, it’s works, and awareness.  But, has this gotten me any closer to what is ultimately real?  I still live with my mental constructs, with mountains of words that have come forth through me.  But, what do all of these words show?  That I am focused on consciousness and awareness.  However, is this enough?  There is a nagging sense inside that it is not, that I have missed the mark somehow, that I am still stuck in the realm of the ego … oh, the ego is a tricky thing.  Or is it?  Is not the ego just the part of us that is most intimately focused on physical reality?  Is it really so deceptive and limiting as others have made it out to be?  It seems that it has a rightful place in the scheme of things.  It’s all good, it’s all God, even the illusion.  But, is that true?  That flies in the face of the teachings of A Course in Miracles.  All separation is illusion, and illusion is not real.  Then, is there a way to experience the wholeness of spirit here and now?  There must be many ways.  Though, it seems that if we are still caught in the illusion, there are still lessons we need to learn.  The bottom line is that it is all ONE.  There never was any separation, there simply cannot be.  BEING cannot cease to be, it can only create forms and express through these forms so that it can gain experience.  But, what experience does BEING need other than to BE, which it cannot cease to do?  We are walking our shaky ground here, speaking of concepts that are quite profound.  Do we have any hope that other will hear what we have to say and be moved by it?  Yes, great hope, because we sense that all of this is coming forth for a reason. 

We have spoken of the Beyond Imagination expression finding its intended audience many times before.  Yet, still it has not happened.  Or, if it has, I am not aware of it.  That could be, there is much that I am not aware of.  I take pride in what I am aware of.  Is that a foolish pride?  Awareness is not a distinction of spiritual merit.  Awareness just is.  It comes to us when we are ready to experience it.

In two different books over the past two weeks, we have contradictory teachings.  One tells us that consciousness is of the formless, the realm of ONEness.  The other tells us that consciousness is part of duality, it need something to be conscious of.  How do we reconcile these?  Both books deal with relinquishing or going beyond the ego.  It seems that they are using the same terms in different ways.  Both point to the Presence, to the experience of the formless.  The sense is that the contradictions are not contradictions at all, just nuances due to taking a different path.  As such, there is nothing to reconcile after all.  All paths to the ONE are equally valid.  Some are more strenuous and laborious than others, but they all ultimately point to the same end, the spiritualization of the BEING.  What do we mean by that?  Simply coming to the realization that we are all spirit.  As such, there is nothing that needs to be done.  Everything is perfect.  It always has been and always will be.  That doesn’t mean that the illusion, the dream can’t be better.  But, ultimately living in the dream is not where we are meant to be, especially if the dreams turn into nightmares.  Limitation in any form is limitation nonetheless.  I’m struggling to stay awake even as I write this, though it is only the middle of the afternoon.

Took a two hour break.  Let’s see if that improves things.  Watched a movie called The Fountain.  It was quite strange but had a spiritual theme overall.  The imagination of the people involved in producing the film was astonishing.  There was definitely nothing predictable in the film.  Perhaps that is what made it interesting. 

Consciousness, the nature of consciousness, are still on my mind.  I can’t seem to shake them, not that I want to.  There is still a sense that consciousness is formless.  But, does it dream forms and the expression through forms into being?  Hmm … the very nature of the question seems flawed.  Forms only exist in the dream, in the illusion.  That includes thought forms and emotions.  But, the dream is very enticing, appearing on all accounts to be real.  Yet, it is part of duality, and it is characterized by separateness which are not of God.  So, why does the dream exist and who is the dreamer who dreams.  The dream is the play of consciousness and the dreamer is consciousness.  That there is a separation between the dream and the dreamer makes both not real.  Similarly, there is a separation between the thinker and the thoughts, and between the feeler and the feelings.  None of these are real either.  Then what is real.  Even awareness needs something of which it is aware.  So, where do we go to get beyond duality, to the ONE?  The bottom line is that I don’t know.  I only know that I am moved to express this line of enquiry.  And, generally, when I ask something, the answer is forthcoming if indeed it does not already exist in my life.  It is a matter of finding it.  I thought that I was onto something.  I thought that consciousness and awareness were my rocks, and I was building the foundations of my house of self on them.  Now, they are suspect as well, potentially belonging in the domain of the illusion much as everything else.  So, where do we go from here?  What do we do NOW?  I don’t know.  It is for spirit to move me to do what needs to be done.  What would I be NOW?  I would be whom that I am, the I AM.  But, do I really know what that is?  The bottom line is I can’t know.  The formless is unfathomable, it is beyond what we can know.  However, it is not beyond what we can be.  That is the secret, just BE.  It is not necessary that you do anything.  Just be.  Let the thoughts go, let the emotions go, let the forms go … and what is left is the formless I AM.  Though, letting go of all of this is not easy.  If it were, the world would not be as dysfunctional as it is.  When we use the term dysfunctional, it is not meant in a negative way.  It is simply a statement of fact.  In a world where ego runs rampant, pain and suffering rear their heads naturally.  Not that they have to be there.  Collectively, we can fashion the dream as we desire it to be.  But, focusing on the dream keeps us within the confines of the prison.  And, our true nature is to be free.

There is no self, there is only IS.  Self implies that there is something which is not self.  Thus, it too lies in the realm of duality.  And duality is illusion.  It is not real.  We don’t have to seek to BE, we just have to BE.  Shakespeare’s To Be or Not To Be is now cast in a different light.  That is indeed our choice.  To Be is choosing the formless realm.  Not To Be is choosing the form realm, the illusion.  How do we choose to be whom that we are?  Is that even something that can be chosen or is it naturally expressed?  Hmm … expressed is the wrong word as well.  That implies that we must do something to BE.  But, we already are all that we are in the present, in the NOW.  It is a matter of realizing it … making it real, making it conscious.  I can express these words, but can I live them?  In the end, that is what counts, not what things we had, not what emotions we felt, not what thoughts we thought, not what we believed, not even what we knew.  All of these are fleeting.  And, what we are looking for is the permanent, the source behind the forms and the expressions.  Do I understand what is being expressed NOW?  Somewhat, but not completely.  Yet, it comes forth through me anyway.  At one point, I would have asked how can that be?  But, after 15 years, it seems that such a question is futile.  It just is.  And, of late, the expression has taken a turn and gone deeper, much deeper.  I still sense that source is deep within me.  But, I also sense that there are hidden realms and hidden dimensions in the mansion of he self.  But, how can something that does not exist have untold hidden dimensions?  That is one of the mysteries of life.  Life creates forms and expresses through those forms.  The process is complex and magical.  We can study it, but we can never master it.  Hmm … never say never.  It seems that we can become master of life.  Actually, that is not quite right either.  We can never become anything, we can only be it.  Actually, that errs as well.  We can’t become things, we can only be what we are.

So, what practical advice do we take from all of this?  Simply BE.  Don’t do, don’t think, don’t believe, just BE.  And, don’t try to be, just BE.  BEING is formless.  BEING is effortless.  BEING is changeless.  BEING is permanent.  BEING is eternal.  Anything that is not of this nature is illusion and hence not real.  Focus your consciousness on the real even in the midst of the illusion.  To start with, it may help to focus your consciousness away from the illusion and toward what is beyond form and expression.  Focus on the experiencer, the thinker, the feeler within you.  Then focus on the spirit within you.  It is there, it as always be there.  It has always been the ONE creating and sustaining your body and its expression.

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8 May 2008

Three more days without musing due to a business trip again.  Oh well, so be it.  We express when we can.  What needs to come forth finds a way to come forth.  Unlike the trip two weeks ago, I wasn't moved to read at all, even though I brought two books.  That too, seems to happen when the time is right.  In fact, my whole life appears to be working that way right now.  Everything is just happening.  I do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it.  To some degree, it is as if I am operating on automatic.  Thinking back, I have been in this mode for many years ... perhaps for all of my adult life.  There is something about spontaneous expression.  Yet, in social settings I am still quite reserved and have little to say.  Then, there is this expression.  Here, we literally speak volumes.  But, what value is there in what is expressed?  Clearly, it is not bringing in any kind of an income, even though there are nine published Beyond Imagination books available for sale.  Perhaps the problem is that they are self-published.  As such, they didn't go through an editor and a normal publisher who would have publicized and promoted the books.  So, why did I self-publish?  Because the cost was right, and because I wanted to avoid the hassle of being rejected countless times.  Do I know that the later would have been my fate?  Actually, no, because I never really tried.  Further, the material is such that editing was problematic.  At the time I was generating this material, I strongly believed that the expression was coming through me but was not mine.  As such, it did not feel right for me to critique it or change it.  It was what it was, a stream of consciousness expression from a source of which I am not consciously aware except via its works.  There was also a sense that publishing the material would make it available to serve the world.  Literally, I felt as if the books were my children ... coming forth through me, but possessing a life of their own.  I still feel that way, though it seems there has been at least a five year delay that I did not count on.  And that, is five years to date.  I have no sense of when, or even if, the books will find a sizeable audience to serve.  Regardless, that does not stop us from continuing to express in the moment.  It does not matter what happens to the expression once it is expressed.  It is enough that it is expressed even if it is for my eyes only.  Though, there is a sense that this is to change.  But, it will only change when I change.  Hmm ... so what am I willing to BE differently.  For, that is exactly what is called for now.  The books are an extension of me via consciousness.  Naturally, they will change as I change.  And, ultimately, they will reach their intended audience, whatever that might be. 

What am I willing to BE differently?  It seems that this is the question of the day.  The thought of being more outgoing is still distasteful.  I have been an extreme introvert for so long that it has become habit.  But, habits can be overly constraining.  I've put a big shell between me and the world.  Much of the motivation for doing this was protection.  What I don't understand is why I felt such a great need to be so protected.  To this day, I still dislike judgment and criticism.  Yet, it seems that I am more judgmental and criticizing of myself, than ever comes from others.  Why is there such a sensitivity in this area?  I don't remember others criticizing me as a kid growing up.  I don't remember feeling less than others.  In fact, I often felt superior.  But, there was always an internal assessment of what I was compared to what I could be.  I never felt that I fully lived up to what I could be.  I never felt that I fully achieved my potential.  I never felt that I was as perfect as I could be.  To be honest, I still don't.  Hmm ... yes, there is still a sense that I don't fully accept myself for whom that I am.  I still live in a world of "if onlys".  If only I could engage in this expression on a full time basis.  If only I could find my spiritual family.  If only I could be more outgoing and interact with others.  If only I could truly be myself.  If only I could be more courageous and less fearful.  If only I could be happy.  These are big things.  And, because they are in the "if only" category, they indicate things that I am not.  But, this is only perception.  In reality, I already AM everything that I could possibly BE.  It is only a matter of rediscovering or remembering what it is that I feel that I am not.  This applies to each and every one of us.  We already are everything that we could possibly be.  The acorn and the mighty oak are one and the same.  The only thing that separates them is time, which we already know to be of form and hence of illusion.  We are life.  Life includes all of its possibilities when it is created.  Form and the expressions through form are vehicles that life uses to create and experience the world.  Life itself, however, is whole.  It is ONE, though it appears to be composed of many.  There is a synergy present in the cosmos that will not be denied.  Life is always greater than the sum of what we know of the parts, no matter how many parts we are aware of or how much knowledge we have of those parts.  Individuals cannot exist in isolation, try though we might.  And, it seems, some of us try much harder at this than others.  It is time to find those we are meant to connect with and to make the connections that are appropriate.   We will know who these are and what these are.  Connecting is a natural process.  It happens in information systems such as the internet all the time.  Are not people much the same?  Are they not storers and processors and sharers of information and experiences?  Are not brains, the most complicated processors around?  And, we have over six billion of them on the planet.  What an incredible resource.  The creative potential of all of this is simply unimaginable.  Yet, we allow people to starve, to thirst, to go without medical care, to go homeless,  to be victimized by war and other atrocities.  Why?  Why does any of this make sense?  Why do we not feel a collective responsibility to help all those who are in need?  It is not a matter of lack of resources.  There are more than enough resources to provide for the people on the planet in a way that does not further endanger the environment of our animal friends.  What we lack is the resolve to see to it that goods and services are produced in sufficient numbers and distributed effectively to those in need.  This must be a collective resolve that is felt by all individuals as an obligation.  Unfortunately, many feel that looking out for their self and their loved ones is enough.  If everyone were to do this, everyone would be cared for.  What is missing from this is the synergy that comes from the whole.  Synergy yields efficiencies and elegance in the way that things are created and distributed.  Further, we are not saying that those who are helped should not contribute something back to the collective.  Human minds are incredible things to waste.  Not just minds but body/mind/heart/souls.  Every one of these is unique and has something special to offer those whose lives they touch.  We need to build the social infrastructures and foundations that facilitate the development of each being.  This is not going to be an easy task.  But, it is something that we must do for the good of us all.  This will require massive change, perhaps even revolution.  But, it must be done nonetheless.  The promise of a new age demand it.  There are energies awaiting expression that will not be denied.  They will build the forms necessary for their expression.  You might say the forms have already been built, they just need to be experienced.  We experience new things by shifting our consciousness to align with the space in which the new things exist.  That is the way that it has always been.  Things don't change, we change.  Or, at least, what we are conscious of changes.  At our core, the I AM, we are eternal, unformed, and changeless.  Change requires time and time is an illusion that allows us to experience the world as we do.

So, what will bring the world to a point where a peaceful revolution will be welcomed?  And, who would sponsor such a revolution?  The nation states don't seem to be willing to cooperate and play well together.  War and violence are still far too common in the world.  And, the world economic system supports and profits from the way things are.  At what point do we collectively say enough is enough?  What has been created by companies, nations, and religions is not serving us effectively.  There has to be a better way, or better ways to live ... ways that support all of us and allow us to be the stewards of the Earth that we are meant to be.  Further, the ideas for these ways are already out there.  We just have to find them and commit the necessary resources to bring them to fruition.  It is time to live in a peaceful world.  It is time for the infrastructures of society to allow the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs of all to be met.  We can live in such a world HERE and NOW.  It is all a matter of choice and of realizing that this is exactly what we deserve to manifest.  It is time to live in a world beyond imagination.  Let us choose to do that NOW..

9 May 2008

Once again we return to the blank slate to capture what consciousness would express through us.  We are doing this often ... but, not as frequently as we have at various times in the past.  That is OK.  What is meant to come forth finds its way through one way or another.  I can only do so much.  With spirit by my side, that is a lot ... but, it is still limited.  This is especially true since my free time seems to be a limited commodity.  There are only so many free hours in a day.  And, it seems that everything takes time.  Yet, time is one of the great equalizers.  While we never know how many days we will have, we do know that each day brings with it roughly 16 waking hours, for a total of 112 hours per week.  Approximately half of that goes toward work and commuting.  The rest is our time, roughly 32 hours on weekends and 24 hours during the week.  That doesn't include time to get ready in the morning, eating breakfast, or eating dinner ... nor does it include time for doing the chores that are a necessary part of life.  So, maybe we are down to 25 hours per week of free time ... 5 hours per day on the weekends and 3 hours per day during the week.  When you look at it like that, it does not seem like much, especially since part of the weekday time is needed to relax and unwind from the stresses of work.  Though, 25 hours is still substantial.  Used in musing, that would amount to nearly 25,000 words per week.  But, that would require spending nearly every free moment musing.  For two years, in 2002 and 2003, I came close to doing just that.  Now, I seem to average closer to 8 hours per week.  That is 20 percent of my work time.  That is substantial, but for me, that is not enough.  That does not show enough commitment to what I am doing.  My desire is to make this work a fulltime endeavor.  I still believe that this expression is of far more value than anything that I am paid to do.  Here is where my hearts desire lies.  This is the endeavor that allows my soul to sing and my spirit to soar.  Here, I experience creativity at its finest in my life.  Then, why do I not do it more?  The only answer that comes to mind is that this too is not enough.  There must be more.  As the 4/8, I am the Man in Search of More.  I search for the moreness of life, and attempt to share of what I find.  Though, the sharing has not really succeeded to the degree that I had hoped.  The feedback from the page counters at the Beyond Imagination site and the lack of feedback via communications from others are proof of this.  I am not reaching many people.  It doesn't help that I don't know many people.  In fact, only a few dozen know anything about me ... and far fewer than that know anything of my interests and beliefs.  So, what have I been doing for my 50 years on the planet.  Clearly, not much to interact with people.  Will that change?  Will I change in a manner that allows this to change?  There is a sense that it is time to get out of a rut, and start doing things in new ways.  Yes, that requires me to consciously BE something that I have not experienced being to date.  Now, it seems that this is demanded.  If I am to carry out my mission, I must reach out to sufficient others to make the connections necessary to do the work that we collectively came to do.  It is not enough for each person to do their own thing in isolation.  We couldn't do that even if we tried.  The world is a cooperatively interdependent whole.  Independence is an illusion.  Dependence is dysfunctional.

Collected the musings from 2005-2008 in a single file last night and printed it today.  It came to 150 single spaced typed pages.  I was surprised that there was that much especially considering how light the musings were in 2005 and 2006, and that we are only four months into 2008.  There are over 100,000 words already.  There could easily be twice that by the time 2008 is done.  In 2003 alone, there were over 500,000 words.  Why was all of this expression necessary?  Yes, it has been one hell of an adventure in consciousness for me, personally.  But, is it meant to serve others in some way as well?  I believe the answer to be yes.  And, I believe that I will be moved to do what is necessary for the work to get out to those it is meant to reach.  But, the audience is not mine to pick.  To some degree, they must find me.  Or, we must find one another.  Such meetings don't occur by chance in my life, they occur by design.  But, not by my design, rather by the will of consciousness.  But, am I not relinquishing my right to decide my own fate?  Perhaps.  But, I choose to put that fate in spirits hands.  She is far more knowledgeable that I will ever be, and from her vantage point can orchestrate what needs to be done effectively and elegantly.  I have only to do my part, look within to see what I am moved to do, and have the courage to actually do it.  This means stepping outside of my comfort zone at times ... something that I have been reluctant to do.  This also means leaving the safety of my introversion at times to risk interacting with others.  That too is something that I have been reluctant to do.  Though, more and more, it seems that this is what I am being asked to do.  I would share whom that I AM in my own way.  But, is that enough?  Why does it have to be in my own way?  What limits does this impose on my interactions with others?  Do I consciously accept these limits?  Sometimes limits are good in that they keep us safe.  However, more often limits truly limit us and the perception of safety is mere illusion.  We need to be careful of accepting limits out of fear.  It is always good to ask what love would do next. 

Actually, we need to be careful of doing anything out of fear.  Fear and love cannot coexist.  Further, of the two, only love exists.  Fear and love are not opposites.  Love does not exist in duality.  It's nature is unitary, it is ONE.  One of the Beatles songs expresses it correctly: love is all there is.  And indeed, such is the case.  I read somewhere that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.  Truly, that is what it is.  I can say that, but I still have my share of fears.  Snakes, spiders, bugs of many types, intimacy, public speaking, criticism, strange foods are some of the things I still fear.  At this point, there is no sense that I need to rid myself of all of these ... but that day may come.  Fear is especially debilitating when it keeps us from being all that we can be and keeps us from expressing whom that we are.  For, the greatest things that we have to share with one another are whom that we are, and what we can create and express.  It is for us to find way to express that provide the greatest service to others.  I believe strongly that this is what I do here.  But, services must be consumed or they are not services at all.  Consumed may be literal, or may come in terms of being enjoyed, or may come in terms of meeting physical, emotional, mental, and/or spiritual needs.  The bottom line is that benefit must be conveyed in some manner to individuals in the society, to society, or to the Earth and its eco-systems.  One thing that comes to mind is what about ideas or works that are ahead of their time.  In some areas of endeavor, especially creative endeavors, the ideas or works may not become meaningful or popular until after their creator has passed on.  Often, I have the sense that this expression is of that nature.  It is being written for an audience that is unknown, an audience that I may never have the chance to interact with.  To some degree, that thought makes me sad ... because it seems that the written expression only captures a part of what could be coming forth.  From another perspective, things are perfectly fine ... because I can do what I do in isolation, interacting only with consciousness herself.  That makes this primarily an inner experience, even though much of the material is posted to the WWW and available in books.  Hmm ... you can't have it both ways, or can you?  It seems that I have the freedom to do as spirit moves me to do.  Right now, I am moved to bring forth this stream of consciousness into the world, whether the world is ready for it or not.  At this moment, I am content.  What I am doing is precisely what needs to be done.  Further, what I am doing is enough.  If it needed to be more, it would be.  If it needed to be different, it would be.  This is not something to be forced.  It is to be allowed.  This expression is my way of allowing consciousness to express in my life.  I would have it no other way.  I choose to express often because it gives me great pleasure to see all of this come forth as it comes forth and to read it time and again when I am moved to do so.  That is probably one of the best things about written expression.  You can return to it time and time again.  But, even though the words are the same, the meaning evolves as you evolve.  The words only point to meaning.  It is the reader that must supply the meaning.  Yes, that means the very same words will move people in different ways, sometimes in very different ways.  Here, an other than conscious process brings forth this expression.  As such, the source for the material and the organizing force behind the material are unknown.  There is something powerful in that.  It suggests that there is something of great power in each of us that is aware and knows far more than any of us has imagined.  I base that on personal observation of what consciousness has been able to express through me since 1993.  Indeed, what has been expressed is beyond imagination.  But, it is only a small glimpse of what is to be expressed.  I still sense that I have another two decades to bring forth works on this planet.  And then, it's off to other realms of consciousness.  But, two decades is a long time when you live in the moment.  It is for us to do what we can to make each moment count.  Actually, that is not quite right.  Life is not a succession of moments.  There is only one extended Presence, one NOW.  Everything unfold in that everpresent point.  There is no has been | is | will be division.  There is only IS.  And, in the NOW, we can only BE.  And, while BEING, we can only do what we are moved to do.  This is true for all of us.  Though, many of us fail to focus on being present.  Many live in the illusions of the past.  Many others live in the illusions of the future.  But, we can only truly LIVE in the NOW.

11 May 2008

Getting a late start tonight, but could not resist coming here to muse anyway.  It seems that many signs are pointing to a major transition in consciousness in the 2012 to 2013 timeframe.  Exactly what form this shift is to take is still unknown, but that it is coming is certain.  Finished reading a book today on this shift but I don't remember the title or the author.  Though, the author was from Korea, and the book came forth in about a month in 2005.  It was an interesting book.  I couldn't put it down.  The basic premise was that the evolution of earth has been part of a grand plan of one of the five original source consciousnesses of the universe.  The earth is now in third density with the spirit world in fourth density, but the earth is transitioning to fifth density.  This is a monumental occasion that has taken the work of many to achieve.  Further, it has ramifications that will spread to star systems throughout the galaxy and beyond.  The book offered a history from the origin of the universe and the five source consciousnesses through the major civilizations on the earth through the ages to the present time.  Whether it is correct or not, I do not know from a first reading.  But, there was something about it that rang true within.  As I was reading the book, it was as if I were remembering something of which I played a part.  Jan Kertz, a psychic in the Bay Area said something about my being involved in Star Creation Central.  Something rang true about that too.  It touched a chord within me.  As far as I know, I have had no memories or dreams of that time.  I only know what I am now.  What I seem to be is an entity with a body and a mind stuck in space-time.  But, I know that I am far more than I seem to be.  I am aware of a presence deep within me, a presence that can focus on the now.  From this beingness, all forms that I am and all expression that flows forth through those forms originates.  The creativity is astonishing to behold.  But, it is not my creativity.  It is the creativity of consciousness.  But, is not my creativity the creativity of consciousness as well?  Can there be any difference between the two?  Or, is the distinction something that I am making up?  Hmm ... if what is expressed through me does not come from a greater self that is also me, then where does it come from?  I have not been moved to ask this before?  It just seemed obvious that the source was somehow distinct from me.  But, does the fact that it seemed obvious make it so?  And, even if it did come from "consciousness" herself ... how does this relate to the original five source consciousnesses in the book I just finished?  The book also spoke of ten densities of vibration, with the tenth being the highest and containing all knowledge of the universe.  Clearly, this expression does not come from such a density.  If it did, much more would have been revealed than has been revealed to date.  Also, clearly, it comes from a level not of this world.  It speaks of things that are beyond anything that I have learned in this existence.  Further, the process by which it comes forth is automatic.  To some degree, that is a defining characteristic of a stream of consciousness.  Though, I speak only from firsthand experience.  I have not seen the works of others expressing in this fashion.  It is curious that this would be the case.  I am well read when it comes to metaphysics.  But, all of the books that I have read other than the Beyond Imagination books have more definition and order to them than you'll find here.  Not that consciousness does not impose an order here.  Clearly, she does.  There is a flow to the material that can not be denied.  But, I am not involved in defining that order.  Then what is?  I can say source, but what does that really mean?  What is the source within of which I speak so highly?  She is what she is.  She is beyond anything that I know myself to be.  I know her only by what she is able to express through me.  To date, that has been a lot.  But, I sense that there is much more to come.  Though, if 2012 or 2013 are to be the major transition that they are to be, the time for this expression is short-lived.  We only have 4-5 years to reach that time.  But, that suggests that there is a destination in time at which a major breakpoint for consciousness is to occur.  But, we already know that time is an illusion.  The only point that ever exists is now, and it exists forever.  Whatever transitions for consciousness that can occur are occurring now, in this very moment.  Though, how do we reconcile this with the fact that we seem to age?.  This particular bodily form that I occupy is now half a century old.  Hmm ... that is an odd way of stating things.   This bodily form that I occupy implies that I am something that can occupy a body.  But, does not life itself animate all bodies?  Is not consciousness a part of life ... or is life a part of consciousness?  Do we really understand what consciousness is?  Are there levels of consciousness?  If so, how many levels, and how do we grow from one level to the next?  Is consciousness something that can even grow ... or is it complete and whole unto itself?  Where do such questions come from?  And, where do we find the answers to such questions?  Or, do such questions even have answers?  There is only so much that can be expressed in words.  But, here, all we have is words.  There are no gestures, no emotional expressions captured here ... only words.  For now, the words have to be enough for that is all we have.  It is amazing what can be expressed in words.  Just look at some of greatest poetry that has been expressed.  There words are chosen precisely and have such a grand impact.  Here, it is not clear that as much effort goes into the expression.  In fact, the expression is nearly effortless.  It just comes forth fluidly.  All that I have to do is allow it to come forth as it will.  It seems that so long as I am willing to allow it, consciousness has something to say.  No, not all of it is profound.  But, surprisingly, much of it is.

12 May 2008 

Let's see what will come forth today.  As they say, today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Actually, that is not quite correct.  NOW is the only time of your life, and it is not even a time at all.  We exist only in the now.  Even when we are focused on remembering the past or on anticipating the future, we can only do that in the present.  It helps if we choose to stay focused on the moment.  All that we need to know, all that we need to do, all that we need to be aware of, all that we are springs from that sacred moment.  Be still and know that I AM.  Focus deeply on the miracle of life that animates you in this very moment.  That life is eternal and immortal.  That life is beyond beginnings and endings ... it simply is and has always been.  But, what of time?  Why does reality appear to unfold in time in the way that it does?  The perception of something makes it experienced but does not make it real.  Our experiences happen to us, or more correctly through us.  We are only impacted to the degree that we associate with the forms that are around us.  In most cases, we created these very forms and experiences ... or at least attracted them to us.  But, why does all of this happen?  Why does that which is formless need to experience expression through form?  For the sheer joy of it is one answer.  There is endless creativity at play in the creation of universes and multiverses.  It is all about frequency and the meaning we assign to various parts of the frequency spectrum.  Everything expressed here is captured as elaborate strings of ones and zeros in a computer.  Further, that is true not only of these words, but of all images as well, including 3-D representations.  26 letters, 52 with capitals, 10 digits, a space, and a few punctuation marks are sufficient to allow everything that is expressed here to be created.  That's roughly 70 characters.  That is all the symbols that are needed to paint any of the words in all of the English books in the world.  If we were to count words as our "symbols" we would need far more ... probably on the order of several hundreds of thousands.  Clearly, my vocabulary is not anywhere near that, and I stopped looking up words in grade school.  How we use the basic symbol set seems far more important.  And notice how prominent the space is.  Without it, the words would be jumbled together in a way that would make them difficult to read.  If we ignore the capitals, we are down to a symbol set of about 44 characters.  Hmm ... the fourth master number.

It has been said that the pen is mightier than the sword.  And, indeed, such is true.  Words have the power to sway our minds and our hearts, and can do so to the degree that we are committed to take action in accord with the ideas expressed.  Personally, I love words.  And, in particular, I love the stream of consciousness expression that produces these words through me.  I also love the words of authors whose books I am moved to read.  Yet, outside of this expression and the books that I read, you might call me a man of few words.  I rarely speak or communicate with others except in the context of work.  So, how can this expression be so prolific?  How can in excess of five million words have come forth in just over 15 years?  That is not the question to ask.  What is more important is WHY was all of this expressed in this manner?  What came forth came forth because it needed to come forth.  It is that simple.  Spirit is simple overall.  She expresses what is needed when it is needed to whom it is needed.  From that standpoint, even if some of the expression has only reached me ... it nevertheless reached its intended audience.  Spirit is always operating behind the scenes, ensuring that things are done appropriately and elegantly.  We just need to find a way to see through her eyes.  But, we are her eyes, and her mouth, and her brain, and her arms, and her hands, and her legs, and her feet, and her heart and internal organs.  We are all that and more.  Without us, she could not experience being form.  Hmm ... but do we really experience being form either?  Or, do we experience the appearance of being form?  There is a big difference.  In the first case, we ARE what we experience.  In the second case, we only APPEAR to be what we experience.  My understanding is that while the first case appears to be true, it is the second case that is true.  What we ARE is far different and far beyond what we APPEAR.  Further, we find ourselves by making what we appear to be disappear.  Can it be that simple?  Strip away what we are not, and what is left is what we ARE, pure BEING.  Yet, why is there such a need to DO something?  Why is there such a need to create forms and express through those forms?  Why is there such a need to own and possess things ... especially material things?  Why are we never satisfied?  Why do we never have enough?  Interesting questions.  But, the issues they stir plague our world today. 

Nothing can stop an idea whose time has come.  That, too, was pronounced by someone wise.  But what ideas fit that bill in the current world?  One that readily comes to mind is the simplest expression of pure communism ...

        From each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs.

It seems that this principle already operates in the spiritual world.  We just haven't been able to realize it in the physical plane on earth.  Yes, there have been attempts that failed miserably.  But, the reasons for their failure were the conditions of the times and the frailties of those in power who created the accompanying governments and economic systems.  The principle itself is the essence of elegance.  Each gives to society in accord with the best of their abilities in service in some manner.  In return, each is given what they need on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels.  Everyone serves and everyone receives exactly what they need.  What more could one ask for in a society?  Indeed, this is the only social contract that makes sense.  Then, why have we not adopted it yet?  The key reasons are belief systems, power struggles, and dysfunction.  We have a mentality of scarcity, of haves and havenots.  The nature of the economic game is such that there are a few haves and a lot of havenots, a few powerful and a lot powerless, a few owners and lots of slaves.  It has been that way throughout history.  So long as we treat differences in a way that makes some superior to others, we will have such problems.  In 1776, a few great men in a new country on a new continent declared their independence.  In that declaration, they said:  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."  This was indeed a bold pronouncement that reverberates throughout the cosmos to this day ... 232 years later.  Clearly, we do not act as if we live in a country or a world where all men and women are created equal.  Further, life is not considered to be inalienable, nor is liberty, nor is the pursuit of happiness.  How is it that in over two centuries we have not been able to get it right and live by these foundational principles?  It seems that many people don't even believe in a creator these days, or don't act as if there was a common creator for each of us.  What does it mean to be free?  Do I have liberty because I can choose to shop at half a dozen different supermarkets with a dazzling array of groceries?  I think not.  To live in society, I need to hold down a job that allows me to exchange my time and effort for an income that allows me to buy many of the things that I need.  But, is that correct?  How do I know what I truly need from what I am told that I need?  Watching television occupies a prominent part of many peoples day.  And, commercials pay for nearly all of the content of television shows.  They do this because it is known that building commercials in certain ways affects people psychologically so that they will buy the products that are being advertised ... often regardless of whether they cost more or provide better value.  Yet, we allow this to happen.  We allow an unsuspecting consumer base to be manipulated by such techniques.  The result is waste and inefficiency ... in some cases bordering on fraud.

13 May 2008

It's time for the stream of consciousness to come forth again.  Lately, this has been a regular occurrence.  I like that.  There is something about this expression that is special.  What makes it special?  The very way that it comes forth and the quality of what is expressed.  At least, in my eyes, it is a quality expression.  I am curious to see how others view it.  Perhaps that feedback will come in time, perhaps not.  Either way, I am content with what has been expressed and what is to be expressed.  Hmm ... there I am speaking to the past and the future.  But, what is being expressed is happening a character or at most a word at a time.  Without the extension of the present into the past and the future, there is no expression.  There is just IS.  But, there is a reason for this expression.  It is happening in this manner because it can and because it must.  Yes must.  It is fulfilling some need that can only be filled in this manner.  What that need is, I do not know.  I only know what I am moved to do.  And, right now, this is to write.  There is no thought of who this expression is intended to reach.  Clearly, it reaches me.  But, there is virtually no feedback to show if it is reaching others and how it is impacting them.  All in good time.  What is meant to be, will be.  In fact, at some level it has already played itself out.  It is only our present forms that experience time as we do.  There is something fatalistic about that.  What about free will?  I've been struggling with that all of my adult life.  To what degree do we really have free will.  And, is it conscious or on other than conscious levels?  The bottom line is that it does not matter.  We experience the life that we experience anyway ... and that life is different for each of us.  What does it matter whether we truly have choices or not?  Personally, most of what I see in my own life is that for choices that truly matter, there is only one right course of action and that course is obvious.  There is no struggle.  But, the sense is that there really is no choice at all.  Further, even where we seem to make choices, we never know all of the factors that contribute to our decisions ... so, effectively the choice is made on other than conscious levels.  But that is my life.  I have no idea of how others experience this.  Yes, I still live a very isolated existence, spending very little time with others.  Is that a choice, or is that my nature expressing itself?  Hmm ... you might say that I spend more time with books and with this expression than I do with people.  Yet, I would build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh?  How can I believe that such is even possible?  What can I say.  That is the mission that has been revealed over and over again since 1993.  Every fiber of my being vibrates to this call.  I know that this is what I am here to do.  This is why I came.  This is why I incarnated into this existence.  How will I do this?  Clearly, it is a big task.  The only answer that comes to mind is one step at a time ... doing what I am moved by spirit to do in the moment.  After all, can we do anything else?  NOW is the only time there is.  When we focus on BEING in the present, we will be moved to do what needs to be done in each moment.  All that is required is PRESENCE, and a trust in the intuitive process that reveals to us what spirit would do through us.  On my own, I can do nothing.  But, spirit expressing through me is unstoppable.  She will achieve her ends in whatever way is most efficient and elegant.

Each of us has one or more roles to play.  These are roles that we chose prior to coming into this existence.  How well we play our roles, and what we experience as a result of playing those roles is literally up to us.  This is one area where we are free ... in consciousness.  Hmm ... if this is one area, does that mean there are others? Another seems to be where we focus our attention, but this is related to how we experience consciousness.  We are free to choose our beliefs, however most people have been engrained with beliefs from authority figures throughout their lives.  And, few have been taught techniques for reprogramming their minds and their belief systems even though many such techniques are out there and the techniques are effective.  Psych-K is one that I have discovered in the past year that is particularly powerful, and I have been researching and exploring this area since I first came across the Seth books in 1974.  Yes, for 34 years, two-thirds of my life.  Wow, I still find that hard to believe.  But, it is what it is.

I've been reading a couple of books lately that deal with the major transformation of consciousness that is to happen in 2012 to 2013.  Everything points to a dramatic shift ... though nothing like the Armageddon or end of the world that some have prophesied.  It seems that the feminine energy is to rise somehow.  It is curious that my sense has always been that this expression comes forth from the divine feminine.  I refer to consciousness herself in this manner.  It seems that the overall energy of humankind has been out of balance.for some time.  This has resulted in aggressiveness including wars for most of human history.  Its time to tip the scales and allow the feminine to be expressed once again outside of a primarily male worldview.  The resulting expression will literally herald a new age on the planet.  Some have dreamed of the characteristics of that age.   Inclusion, compassion, oneness, sympathy, understanding, peace, acceptance, love ... all of these characterize a time to come.  Perhaps they characterize a time that is already here in the hearts of many.  What does it take to wake up the world to this?  That is not something to worry about.  It is being taken care of in the way that it must be.  It will unfold when it is meant to unfold.  We have only to do our parts.  We know what that is by going within, finding our intuition, listening to it, trusting it, and acting based on it.  Is this required for everyone?  It seems that it is particularly suited to introverts.  That is the only way that I know.  Each will find the path that is specifically tailored to them.  We are each unique expressions of consciousness ... yet, on another level we are ONE.  It is our oneness that is the more important of the two.  When we truly realize that there is only ONE consciousness, and that all forms and all expressions spring forth from that ONE source the very way we relate to the world changes.

Why does there appear to be so much darkness in the world?  Why is war still an acceptable way of handling differences?  Why is there so much hunger and poverty and violence in the world?  It does not have to be this way.  Collectively, we can decide to do things better and change our world in the process.  No one says that it will be easy.  But, it does not have to be difficult either.  In helping others, we help ourselves.  There is only ONE.  What we do to the least of us, we do to the greatest of us.  Actually, in a world of equals, while there are differences, there is no greater nor lesser.  In a world of inequality, we all suffer.  Images of violence are everywhere as are acts of violence.  We know that one leads to the other, but collectively we do nothing to stop it.  Perhaps this is because no one is taking responsibility for doing something.  In the meantime, a whole generation of kids has grown up exposed to massive amounts of violence on TV, in movies, in video games, and in life.  No, not everyone in this generation ... but, a vast majority.  But, people watch the shows, go to the movies, buy and play the video games, and commit the acts of violence.  Why?  What is there about violence that is so enticing to so many?  Personally, I don't know.  Such things are not part of my world.  Then why even speak of them?  Because, they are the symptoms of dysfunction.  As a systems engineer, that is my job at work ... to analyze complex systems and see how to make them better.  Society is a complex system of systems.  It doesn't take a genius to see that violence begets violence and that violence creates major problems in society without really solving anything.  However, the remedy is not simple.  It probably cannot be found at the level of understanding that created the problem.  We have to look to a different level of consciousness.
14 May 2008
The days keep flowing on, one into the next.  And, the words kept flowing forth, one into the next as well.  How long can this process continue?  It seems so long as I am alive.  I have learned to tap the stream of consciousness.  And, my attention and focus hang on every word that is revealed.  But, it is a relaxed focus.  For, this truly is my play time.  Here I play in the field of spirit ... in the fields of the Lord, if you were.  There is something special about all of this.  I can't explain how it manifests.  It truly is a miracle.  I am honored to play a part in all of this, deeply honored.  Yet, there must be something about me that enabled this.  Then again, it is not really about me, it is about the expression of spirit through me.  And, not just through me, but through us all.  Consciousness gently expresses in our lives.  We have to reach out to her and invite her in for the process to work.  And then, what is manifest is truly wonderful to behold.  But not because of anything that we do ... but because of everything that is done through us.  But, does not that make me a slave, abiding by the whims of consciousness?  The sense is that NO, it does not.  Everything that I have experienced shows that the expansion of consciousness, awakening to higher levels of awareness, increases our freedom.  Though, it seems that along with our new found freedom comes responsibilities ... in some cases awesome responsibilities.  That is only a problem if we treat responsibility as a burden.  But, it does not have to be such.  Responsibility generally involves the power to be able to get things done.  When we apply this creatively and when we allow consciousness to do the work ... there is no burden on us, and there is joy that comes from what we do.  I feel that here in this very expression.  I feel a responsibility to allow this stream of consciousness expression to come forth.  Further, I am amazed by the expression and the fact that it can come through me in this manner.  There is also a sense of freedom and joy in doing this.  I do it because I can and because I must.  When I am doing it, it seems to be the most important thing in the world.  No wonder I am so hooked on the process.  It still doesn't matter if this material reaches others or not.  At one time, I thought that it would, and in large numbers.  That did not turn out to be the case.  Oh well, I trust that spirit knows exactly what she is doing.  There is a grand plan of consciousness that is unfolding.  Each of us has a role to play in that plan.  Further, it is a role that we will play one way or another ... for at some level the creation is already complete.  The play was enacted in its entirety at the moment that it was created.  It is only the limitations of how we experience time and "reality" that result in our lives appearing as they do.  But, if we are the actors and the consciousness residing in the actors, then who or what is the playwright?  The answer to that is Source, or Consciousness herself.  But, what is source and what is consciousness?  To that, no answer suffices.  Yes, there are questions that are unanswerable.  There are things that are unknown.  There are even things that are unknowable.  We might be surprised at how many things are in each of these three categories.

You shall know them by their works.  That is a fundamental truth.  It is not you that others see, it is your works.  This includes your body, and all of the expression that comes forth through you.  And even then, your works are not yours either.  They are the works of consciousness expressing through you.  I once said:  Who you are counts for a lot, but what you do makes all the difference.  That expression still conveys a grand truth.  But, we only make a difference in the outer, in the world.  At our core, our beingness, we are changeless and formless.  We are beyond any concepts of things, thoughts, emotions, and deeds.  It is only forms and expressions that change.  Even awareness is but an expression of whom that we are in the world.  Then what of consciousness?  Is consciousness formed or formless?  Clearly consciousness expresses.  But, does consciousness change as a result of that expression?  The stream of consciousness expressed here ever changes, from character to character, word to word, and idea to idea.  But, does that impact Source in anyway.  Clearly, it impacts me, personally.  But, I have said many times that I am not Source.  Then, what am I?  I am not this body, nor this mind, nor this awareness, nor this expression.  All of these are things that I am not.  But, that was not the question.  I asked what am I?  The only answers that come to mind are I am Wayne and I AM THAT I AM.  The later answer was the one given by God to Moses in the movie The Ten Commandments.  As Wayne, I am distinct and separate ... in many ways isolated from others.  But as I AM, I am ONE and whole ... a part of everyone and everything.  So, it seems that I have a dual nature.  But I know that duality, separation, is illusion.  It is not real.  It only exists in our minds and experience.  Yes, that makes it seem real enough.  But, some dreams seem quite real when we are experiencing them as well, until we wake up that is.  Is the reality that we experience anything more than that, a mass dream that we are experiencing both individually and collectively?  I can say these words ... but can I live them ... do I truly know what they mean?  Or, does  it even matter?  Is it not enough to simply be whom that I am, trusting that at some level I naturally know what that is?  Is it not enough to do what I am moved to do, trusting that spirit herself is moving me to do it?  Is it not enough to simply express what spirit would express through me, taking each day moment by moment and filling each moment with my presence?  What more could be asked of anyone?  Further, is that not what all of us are doing all of the time?  There is nothing else but spirit in expression.  At least, nothing else in our "reality".   And, the very nature of spirit is perfection.  Hence, the world is perfect for it is the collective expression of all of us.  There is no God and us.  There is only God.  Similarly, there is no God and consciousness, there is only God.  All That Is is All That Is.  There can be nothing more nor nothing less.  Everything else is simply a point of view of God being aware of a part of himself.  Interesting.  Consciousness is always feminine to me, but God is masculine.  I don't know why, that is just how it is for me.  So, if consciousness is not God, what is consciousness?  There is an implication in the very word consciousness, of to be conscious of something.  At the highest level, this might include being conscious of being God.  But, something is wrong in how that is expressed.  It implies that God is something, which is indeed false.  But, then, is God no thing.  That seems true by definition.  But is there anything that God does?  One answer is that God is All That Is and God does All That Is Done.  This seems reasonable, but this does not seem to be an area where reason can be trusted to reveal the truth.  Clearly consciousness exists.  Clearly consciousness came forth from something, somehow it manifest into being.  But, this cannot be true of the first cause.  All That Is is formless yet is able to manifest form.  All form is but combinations of vibrations.  Similarly, all expression is combinations of vibrations as well.  Everything, every though, every memory, every deed, every world, every reality is composed of vibrations.  It is all thought.  Everything is thought.  But, it is not all linear thought.  We just happen to experience things that way.  Yes, this stream of consciousness is expressed in a linear fashion.  It comes forth character by character, and to experience it you have to read the words one after the other.  There are other ways to bring forth information.  Visual information is another way.  Video games have trained a whole generation of people around the world to think in whole new ways that require motor coordination, visual recognition, and explorations into various combinations of the known and unknown.  What this training will be used for remains to be seen.  But, consciousness doesn't waste resources.  Nearly everything in life is there to teach us something that we need to know.  We might as well have fun and enjoy the process.

15 May 2008

Another day, another musing.  Only two paragraphs yesterday, but they were big ones.  We never know where consciousness is going to insert a break in this expression.  It just happens naturally.  Even after over 15 years, the process of bringing forth this expression is still automatic.  I don't know how it happens.  And, I never know what is coming next.  That is OK.  I am comfortable with the unknown.  In fact, I may be more comfortable there than with the known.  Ever in search of more, that is what I am.  And, there is always more to find.  We have only to seek.  Further, all that we need to know will be revealed to us when we need to know it.  Yes, I firmly believe that.  What elevates something beyond a belief to a knowingness?  I don't know.  I just know that some things I believe, and some things I know, and there is a difference between the two.  Beliefs may or may not be true.  They are to be judged solely on their utility.  Knowingness is what it is.  However, it may or may not be true depending on our interpretation of it.  Yes, sometimes our knowingness can be wrong.  It depends on what it is based on.  Sometimes it comes from external "facts" or things that we take to be truths which may or may not be true.  Sometimes it comes from internal sources, from the intuition, or from the heart, or from the source within.  This too, may or may not be true.  It simply is.  It is up to us to evaluate its utility in our lives and the lives of others.  So, where do we go to find truths?  Can such even be expressed in this realm?  My sense is no, they cannot.  Everything here is relative.  The entire universe is relativistic.  Yet, we manage to exist nonetheless.  It matters not that we are living in a dream world.  That is still the reality that we experience.  And, it seems that it will continue to be our reality so long as we choose to inhabit forms.  It is only in the formless that we find the true reality.   But, it is not clear if or to what degree we can experience that in this life or in any life.  For does not life by its nature involve the expression of energy through form of some type for some amount of time?  It seems to involve such, but does it necessarily involve such?  There is a sense that all expression, even the most glorious of expression, is still limited somehow.  There is the 48: The Man in Search of More in me ... wanting to stretch beyond all limitation.  And, there is a sense that this is a possibility ... maybe even a probability, not only for me but for all of us.  Though, perhaps it is something that we can only do collectively.  It seems that we will know soon enough.  I wouldn't be expressing in this manner and asking these questions unless there was a need to know the answers.  At least, such is my relationship with questions in this lifetime.  It all comes down to the formed versus the formless.  But these are not opposites.  Being formless is not the same as lacking a form.  Many substances on earth take the form of their container.  Most liquids do this, and most gases though in a less dense way and only when the container encloses a defined volume.  So, does spirit take the form of the body that it inhabits?  It seems that this is true more or less, with the exception of an aura or energy field that extends beyond the physical structure of the body.  Does consciousness take the form of the mind or the form of the brain that the mind occupies?  It seems not.  While the mind is often associated with the brain, consciousness seems to be a more global construct or force.  Hmm ... I don't think that we have ever referred to consciousness as a force before.  F=MA is one of the laws of physics.  Force = Mass x Acceleration.  For consciousness to be a force, it would have to be an acceleration of the mass of the brain.  Perhaps that is one of the things that it is.  Though, something seems wrong about that very statement.  Consciousness is not a thing.  A force is a thing.  It is something that can be defined and measured.  Consciousness is not of such a nature.  Looking back, consciousness is not a "global construct" either.  For a global construct is a construct which by definition is a thing.  And, consciousness is not a thing.  We need to be careful about the words that we use and the meaning that they convey.  Often this meaning is hidden.  Often this meaning is disempowering.  But, it doesn't have to be.  We can choose our words more carefully and be aware of the meaning that they point to.  Note: words can only point to meaning, they cannot convey meaning.  The meaning can only be generated by those to whom the words are imparted.  Right now, these words are only imparted to me.  So, if the meaning is lost on me, it is lost to the universe.  Or is it?  Something is originating these words.  Yes, I am participating in their manifestation in this particular form, on this screen and in this HTML file.  But, my sense of being a participant does not extend to being their creator.  Maybe this is a false distinction that I am making.  Perhaps the fact that they come forth through me makes them my creation.  I would not go so far as to say makes them mine.  For, this is an act of creation not unlike childbirth.  What is created is not owned.  Definitely not owned by me, as definitely as a child is not owned by its parents.  Hmm ... then these words are not owned by source either.  Consciousness has no reason to own anything ... and this expression is just another thing.  Ideas are things just as much as computers, baseballs, cars, clothes, houses, and food.  They just operate at a different frequency in a slightly different realm.  But, ideas are living things that potentially have the power to create by begetting other ideas and by lodging in the minds of people as beliefs or truths.  They are as alive as any other living things and when aligned with other ideas can exert great power through the actions of those who are moved or commanded by the ideas.  Yes, these two words seem appropriate.  Ideas move us when they inspire us.  Ideas command us when we become slaves to them.  Many beliefs command us subconsciously.

Yet, through all of this there is the principle that we create our own reality, no fine print, no exceptions.  This does not mean that we only create the reality that we like.  It means that we create every iota of it.  We do this individually and collectively.  And, we have been doing it forever.  Yes, literally forever.  That gives us an awesome power, but also an awesome responsibility.  If we don't like what we are experiencing, we can only blame ourselves assuming that we need to blame at all.  Which we don't.  The better course of action is to do something to change our experience.  We do that by changing ourselves, or by changing the way that we interpret what is happening.  Actually, both of these are changing ourselves.  The later is only an inner change.  The former can be either outer or inner or both.  Usually, we change ourselves by changing what we believe and/or changing what we do.  If we choose not to change, in most cases we experience more of the same ... sometimes with increased intensity until we have no real choice but to change.  Managing our beliefs is one of the fastest ways to change.  This can be tough to do on your own.  The ego has a lot invested in maintaining its grip on your reality.  It has no desire to go away, and is often threatened by any changes that awaken the consciousness within you.  I have found that Psych-K is particularly helpful at ridding one of disempowering beliefs.  It can literally save years of time of self-discovery and mastery.  There are many great books available in the metaphysics or new age sections of most bookstores that present guiding concepts to live by.  It is a matter of finding those that you are attracted to and reading them.  Unfortunately, reading seems to be somewhat of a lost art these days.  And, relatively few are open enough to read these types of books.  But, the times are a changing.  Some of these authors have books that have reached Bestseller status.  I don't know how many sells are required for that, but my guess would be that it is a much smaller number than many would think.

What do I want?  I have focused on the question Who Am I since I was 16.  I don't really know how to answer the question of what do I want.  Interesting, it just came to me that despite 34 years of searching, I can't really answer the other question either.  One answer that comes to mind regarding what do I want is that I lack nothing that I truly need here and now.  This expression is the shining light of my life, and I lack nothing that I need to participate in its manifestation.  I don't need food, or clothes, or companionship, or a car, or a house, or anything to be able to do this.  I only need a computer and whom that I am.  But, is that enough?  If it were, it seems that I should be happier than I am.  Hmm ... and while it is enough in the moment, is it enough through time?  For that, it seems many other things come into play ... including the things that I said I don't need above.  Interesting.  What distinguishes wants from needs?  Needs are basic.  We cannot survive effectively without them.  We have needs on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels.  But, at some level, all needs are met ... spirit herself sees to that.  Wants are of a different nature.  They are desires that go beyond basic needs.  Hmm ... do I want to express here or do I need to express here.  There is an urgency and a mental, emotional, and spiritual need to express that I feel.  I want to turn this expression into my full time employment.  That is a desire that may or may not occur depending on a whole lot of factors.  In particular, it requires a willingness to do what it takes to make it so.  It is clear that I don't yet have that level of commitment ... or it would have happened by now.  Actually, it is not clear to me that I control making it happen, definitely not consciously.  I have chosen to be a tool through which spirit can express in this manner.  I know that I have chosen this because it is manifest in my life.  It is the reality that I experience.  I also know that I have chosen to be employed by my company in the manner that I have.  I know this for exactly the same reason.  It is the reality that I experience.  When it is time for that reality to change, I will make different choices and these will be manifest in my world.  Right now, everything is perfect.  It always has been and it always will be.  Interesting.  Could I survive without this expression?  My sense is NO, I clearly could not.  Though, it wasn't until my 34th year that it started.  And, there have been some years since then when the expression was sparse, even non-existent in 2004.  None of that makes a difference now.  Here, in 2008, we are expressing quite prolifically once again.  I am grateful for that.  I feel more alive than I have felt since 2002-2003 when the expression was nearly coming forth daily.  The pace has quickened approximately 25 percent since then.  I don't know what to attribute that to.  But, it brings this in at 1000 words/hour.  That's only 16 words per minute.  But, allowing for pauses, and given that my max typing speed is 50 words/minute ... it is quite respectable.  Perhaps the backlog of expression from a relative drought of four years makes a difference.  There is a sense that there is so much waiting to come forth.  So, do I need to express in this manner?  The answer is a resounding YES.  I need this expression as much as the food that I eat, and the air that I breathe ... perhaps even more.  The spiritual consumes far more of my free time and my thought than anything else.

19 May 2008

I had good intentions of coming here to muse at a decent hour, but work got in the way.  Fortunately that doesn't happen too often.  After all, I do so love to express in this way.  Though, I did go another weekend without musing.  That seems to be commonplace for me anymore.  It is just too hard to find the time to do this when I am home.  Oh well.  We'll have to make up for that here during the week.  With 4-5 days of musing, I should be able to bring forth 8,000-10,000 words per week.  That is not a lot, but it is enough to fill a sizeable book ever quarter or so.  It is just a matter of doing it day after day and week after week.  We are only talking about a two hour investment per day.  That is not much for spirit to ask of us.  Besides, if we were not doing this what would we be doing with our time?  Weekends and late evenings, I read, watch TV, and watch movies.  Even though my life is busy ... it is not as hectic as that of many others.  I still have a substantial amount of free time.  At least here in this expression, I get something tangible for that time.  I get a record of a stream of consciousness that documents where some parts of me have been.  And, the record can be read at any time and readily shared with others who might be served by it.  That makes it by far the most valuable thing that I do with my time.  Here, consciousness is able to express through me at her finest.  I am still amazed by the amount of quotable passages that come forth.  Especially since I have so little to say to others in my life.  But, what comes forth here isn't being said to others.  It is being said to me.  And, I don't know from whom the material comes other than the source within.  But, what is this mysterious source?  And, why does she speak through me in this way?  Perhaps I will never know.  That is OK.  I am at home with the unknown and even the unknowable.  You might even say this is where I spend a good deal of my time.  And, as I've said before ... my finest work is done in this way.  But, is it even my work?  What does it take for something to be mine?  Can any thing really be mine?  The immediate answer is NO, this is not possible.  There is no ownership.   Yet, there is full accountability and responsibility.  That seems to be a dichotomy.  But, in a world that is ONE, there is no dichotomy.  The truth must be reconciled somehow.  But, this may happen at levels far beyond what words can convey.  Interesting.  I consider myself to be a warrior.  And, my tools are my words, and the words of consciousness that flow through me.  Some of these words flow into me through the books that I read.  Other words flow out of me in the Beyond Imagination works.  Inflow and outflow.  There must be some sort of balance between the two.  Though, this expression is also an inward flow.  I've read every word, every passage, multiple times.  And, if the future is anything like the past ... I will continue to be moved to read these words.  Clearly , they speak to my soul.  And, I sense that they always will.  But, do they speak to the souls of others in a similar fashion.  I can only hope.  There are enough works posted to the Beyond Imagination site that people should be able to find the works.  Further, they are also available as books ... though the publisher is obscure and there has been virtually no advertising that the books are even available except for some pages at the Beyond Imagination site.  At present, I am not moved to do anything about this.  Perhaps in time.  There is a strong sense that I am gravitating to where I need to be naturally.  It seems that we shall see soon enough.  What is destined to be will indeed happen.  That is how things work in my life and in my world.  That doesn't mean that I can sit back an do nothing.  I must do what I am moved by spirit to do.  Right now, that is to come here to express whatever this stream of consciousness would bring forth.  WHY?  Simply because that is what I must do, because of whom that I am.  Yes, it can be lonely at times.  And, indeed, I spend a lot of time alone even when I am in the midst of others.  That is just the way that it is.  That is just the way that I am.  Would I like to change that?  Would I change that even if I could?  Can I change that?  These are fundamental questions about my world view.  As such, they fall within the realm of belief.  To change, we must desire to change, and have sufficient motivation to move us to take the necessary action to change.  We can only change ourselves.  In changing ourselves we change our world, for the outer is a reflection of the inner.

Wow.  888 words.  Not enough for a musing, but an interesting place for a break.  Unfortunately, it was another hour of disruption.  We'll have to see how well I can stay focused with one of my favorite shows, House, having a season finale in the background.  That is a lot to compete with.  I should just turn it off, but I can't.  Nor can I choose to stop musing.  This is a sacred endeavor for me.  I need to do it to the degree that I can when I am moved to do it.  There is no quota that needs to come forth each day or each week ... or even each year for that matter.  What is expressed is expressed.  What is not expressed is not expressed.  There is no need to express what is not expressed.  If there was a need, spirit would ensure that that need was filled.  That is simply how it works.  No expression that needs to be expressed goes unexpressed.  No true need goes unfulfilled.  We live in an abundant universe.  Unfortunately, we have artificially imposed constraints that keep the abundance from reaching many.  Or, so it appears in the world.  Why have we done this collectively?  And, when will we choose to make better choices?  We will do so when we are moved to do so, not one moment before.  But, we can only do so HERE and NOW.  No other time matters.  No other time exists.  It matters not what thousands of years of history have shown.  Most histories are invented stories anyway.  They are not the truth of what happens.  They are someones or some groups interpretation of what happened.  How is that any different from what is expressed here?  Generally, facts are in short supply here.  Though the expression comes forth in a matter of fact way.  But, what is expressed is not the stuff of fiction.  We are not making it up.  We are expressing a stream of consciousness.  What makes up a stream of consciousness?  We have in excess of four million words documenting what that is.  But, we cannot explain it.  We cannot even choose to make it happen.  Though, it seems that whenever we sit in front of a computer and open Composer or Word, the expression just happens.  But, what moves us to take the step to open Composer or Word with this intent?  That just seems to happen.  And, what moves us to stop when we reach around 2,000 words?  There is an inner quota, a goal that we have in mind for each day of expression.  Often we reach it, sometimes we do not depending primarily on the circumstances of the day.  The bottom line is that this seems to be enough, at least for now.  If it weren't enough, there would be more.  It would just flow forth longer or more often as it has for multiple years at times in the past.  At the present rate of expression, we have enough material to fill about three books per year.  Though, at this point I am not moved to package the material into more books.  There are already nine Beyond Imagination books.  That seems to be sufficient for the time being.  I don't know what I am moved to do other than to come here to express.  Everything else in my life pales by comparison.  That should not be the case, but such it is.  And, it does not seem to be that I really want to do anything about it ... at least not in the moment.  Why?  What am I afraid of?  The answer that comes to mind is LIVING.  But, why should I be afraid of living?  What do I have to lose?  Most things are unimportant to me.  Clearly, people are unimportant as well.  Then, what is it that is important?  The workings of the world have little to no impact on me.  I feel very much like a stranger in a strange land.  I am not like others.  Actually, I've had so little interaction with others, how would I know?  What can I say.  That is just how it is for me.  I don't expect others to necessarily relate to that.  Whether they will or not is not my call.  I can only express what I am moved to express and share what I am moved to share.

Am I content?  I don't believe that I've ever asked that question before.  What does it take to be content?  Hmm ... I don't know that I know what it takes, but there have been times when I have felt content.  Most of these times have been associated with prolific expression.  At this moment, I am content.  How can I extend that feeling into the everpresent NOW?  For two years, in 2002 and 2003, I expressed nearly every day.  And, I was flying high in consciousness most of that time.  That is one of the characteristics of this expression.  It always allows me to soar.  But, we can't soar all the time now can we?  Or can we?  Actually, why not?  How do I find a way to carry what I experience here into all of the elements of my life.  Perhaps then I would truly want to live.  Hmm ... that suggests that I don't really want to live.  This is a new revelation as well.  Something from John Denver comes to mind:  I want to live, I want to grow, I want to see, I want to know, I want to share what I can give, I want to be, I want to live.  Yes, that defines the spirit within me.  Then, why am I physically disconnected from that spirit within.  Perhaps this is why the source within still feels physically separate from me.  This separation is the separation of a fractured self.  But, I would be whole.  I would be ONE.  The consciousness that speaks through me is somehow me.  I need to find a way to reconcile the two.  Where there were two, there can only be ONE.  But, it is not source that needs to cease to exist.  It is the one through which source is expressed.  By cease to exist, we mean cease to exist as a separate entity.  How do I do that?  I have been used to expressing in this way for much of my life.  I ... I ... I, everything in my world revolves around me and my needs.  Yes, I like to think that this expression goes beyond that and speaks of grander things.  But, my life to date has been lived primarily in the first person singular ... with the notable exception being this very expression.  But, is that even an exception?  Even here, "I" is probably the most common word that is used.  Occasionally, the plural form WE is used.  Is that by intent or by design?  We can only speak of what we have experienced either physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.  Also, it seems that we can only speak of what we know.  But, is that necessarily true?  There is much that has been expressed here that is beyond anything that I knew that I knew.  That is one reason for thinking that source was somehow distinct from me.  Though, not distinct as in a separate entity.  How do we make one where there were two?  The movie and show The Highlander provided an answer to this.  One chops off the head of the other and there is a quickening combining the energies of the two into one.  Here, we are dealing with source and ego.  And, in the end there can be only source.  Source and me, me and source are ONE.  I can say that, but how do I realize that?  What needs to be realized?  The ego has an attachment to a concept of self that is false.  This attachment is now in the way of my further development as a spiritual being expressing in flesh.  Does the ego have a function within that spiritual framework?  Herein seems to lie the problem.  Yet, herein seems to lie the solution as well.  I am source.  I am the source that speaks through me.  Ponder that for awhile and see where it takes you.

20 May 2008

Quite an interesting musing yesterday.  Very revealing of things that I did not know about myself.  Do I truly want to live?  You might say that I live for this expression.  If it were not in my life, I don't know what I would do.  Though, there was a dry spell in 2004 and 2005, following the flood of expression in the prior two years.  And, I lived through that.  However, this expression was often on my mind during that time as I read through much of what had come forth before.  Yes, there are ebbs and flows of this expression.  I don't know what causes them, I only know that they happen.  Regardless, I find a way to get on with my life.  I am not always happy.  In fact, I am not happy far more than I am happy.  But, life has its precious moments.  Fortunately or unfortunately, for me, most of these come when I am alone or at one with spirit expressing through me in this manner.  In that, I am quite fortunate indeed!  How many can say that they have such a direct relationship to consciousness?  I would guess not many.  But, who am I to know?

The details of yesterdays musing are long gone.  But, there is a sense of touching a raw nerve, of exposing something that I had never exposed before.  That is fine.  My life is an open book overall.  I reveal here nearly all of what truly matters.  Yet, at the same time, there is the sense that I reveal nothing that I truly am.  Interesting.  This seems to be an intimate reflection of me, of what I think, of who I am.  But is it really?  Can such things be revealed at all.  Besides, I have often said that what is expressed here comes from the source within, from consciousness herself.  And, I am not that.  For one thing, I am male in this existence.  And source or consciousness is definitely feminine to me.  Yes, this could be another side of myself.  I have to admit that.  But, if it is, it speaks of a greatness and grandness to each of us beyond anything we could imagine.  And, if this source or consciousness is somehow separate from me, that it could come forth through me as it does is a miracle in its own right.  Either way something grand and glorious is manifesting here.  I know that.  And, grandiose as I may seem at times, I am humbled by the awesomeness of that.  I am still here, typing away, a scribe for a source that I consider to be grander than I.  And, there is nothing that I would rather be doing in this moment.  This expression is that precious, that important.  But, to whom is it important?  To spirit and to me, of course.  And, that is enough ... that has to be enough.  If it reaches others and facilitates their lives, all the better.  But, if it is for my eyes only, that is sufficient.  What about needing to have a major impact to the world?  If such is my fate, I will gladly do that.  But, I am an instrument through which spirit expresses.  It is my will that her will rather than mine be done.  What need is there for me to have a will of my own?  And why do I not use that will in service to spirit?  Because I have found that when you operate in the NOW, there is no motive force that drives the need to will anything into being.  It seems that the will is a tool of the ego, of the separated self.  And, at the only level that truly matters, there is no separation.  That we experience separation is a sign that we are stuck within the illusion.  We must break out of the illusion to find our freedom.  And then, what are we free from?  For one thing, we are free from form, we are free from the chains that bind us.  But can we not be free and still be our selves?  The very concept of selves implies separation.  Yet, that is what it takes to experience the world, to express and experience through form.  And, experiencing through form is a very good thing ... at least it can be.  We accept limitation to experience life in all of its myriad of forms.  Yet, there is ONE consciousness experiencing it all simultaneously.  We are the ONE consciousness, just as any cell within me can say we are Wayne.  But, everything is interconnected into one whole.  Nothing is separate from anything else.  The tentacles of energy and consciousness between things simply won't allow that.  More and more, science is revealing this interconnectedness of all things.  Further, everything is vibration.  Some vibrations are more dense, others are higher in frequency ... but it is all vibration.  The word created the world.  Thought forms preceded physical forms.  They were the very patterns that allowed the physical forms to be created.  How can I know this?  How can anyone not know this?  Why aren't our education systems teaching us what we need to function effectively in the world in which we live?  Collectively, we are learning what we need to learn.  Those in need of particular services are indeed finding those services.  One doesn't have to search very hard.  Synchronicities operate everywhere to bring people the experiences that they need.  This is happening throughout the world.  There are many great books available now that facilitate an understanding of what is needed to live in a new age.  Some of these are even bestsellers, so large numbers of people are being exposed to what they have to say.  Ultimately, they will reach sufficient numbers such that a massive shift in consciousness will occur.  Maybe it won't happen today ... but, I have to believe that it will happen soon.  My training in this area started in 1974, yes 34 years ago ... at the beginning of my adult life.  I've been heavily involved in metaphysics for over two-thirds of my life.  It seems like yesterday.  But, a lot has happened in that time.  This is the sixteenth year of the Beyond Imagination expression.  I just noticed that I am closing in on a symmetric point in my life.  The time that I have been expressing is about the same as my age when I discovered the Seth Material and metaphysics.  Something seems significant about that.  It comes across as a new birth of sorts.  We'll have to see where it takes us. 

How do I know what I know?  How do I know that what is expressed here is nonfiction versus fiction.  After all, couldn't I be making all of this up?  Perhaps, but then that says something remarkable at the creativity that is stored up inside of us.  Yes, I am unique.  But, we are all unique in our own ways.  If I can create all of this out of nothing, then what can you create?  All of us are here to express something that only we can express.  If this were not the case, there would be no reason for each of us to be unique.  That many seem to live common lives is only the surface condition.  We are all physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual creatures.  It is for us to bring whom that we are into what we do in a way that makes a difference.  We do that by BEING who we are and SHARING who we are with others.  Hmm ... it seems that I have been a bit negligent on the sharing side with the exception of this expression, which I do not consider me or mine at all though it reveals material about me.  That begs the question again as to who is generating all of this?  It must be me!  Source cannot be something that is separate from me.  Nor can I be something that is separate from source.  But, how can I be separate from anything?  Yet, to retain my identity as a "self" don't I need to have a defined boundary that separates what is me from what is not me?  Actually, there is no such boundary, even for the physical part of me.  The air that I breathe ten minutes from now, is that me or not me?  The food that I will eat later this evening, is that me or not me?  The urine that is released from my body when I go to the bathroom, is that me or not me?  The thoughts that I will think at anytime in my life, are those me or not me.  The awareness that I will experience at anytime in my life, is that me or not me?  The energy that is exchanged between my energy fields and that of others, is that me or not me?  And, does it continue to be me even after the exchange?  This very expression, is it me or not me?  And, is all of it already me, even the part that has not yet been expressed?  Is this expression a completed thing that happens to be revealed over time?  Or, is this expression actually being created in the moment as I am experiencing it, and being recreated whenever I go back to read it again?  Fascinating questions.  I have asked some similar questions before, but not so many.  Can there be a me and a not me?  That implies a duality which we have already determined cannot really exist.  But, the consequence is somewhat frightening ... I am All That Is.  Clearly, this is not what I presently experience ... nor would I want to.  It is enough responsibility to be me.  I am already somewhat alone, perhaps more so than is good for me.  Yet, there is an exercise in Buddhism ... I am that.  Whenever you notice something separate from you, say I am that with the conscious intent of merging and becoming one with whatever that is.  In the end, there is only IS.  There cannot be this and that.  There can only be IS.

Right now, there is a sense of me and not me.  This expression is not me, it is coming forth through me.  Interesting, that implies that me lies somewhere in the consciousness, mind, brain, fingers, computer, eyes, brain, mind, consciousness path.  I wonder where me resides.  It is not in the fingers, or the computer, or the eyes, or the brain, or the mind, or even in the consciousness.  It is beyond all of these.  In fact, it has no form and no location of which I am aware.  How can that be?  How can something that I can do so fluidly come forth in a manner that is beyond my understanding?  We've been doing this for over 15 years.  How can we not know something as basic as this?  Then again, I have been alive for over half a century.  My heart has beat an untold number of times in those years, yet I don't have a clue as to how it beats as it does.  Further, I have little knowledge of how my eyes, brain, and mind are able to see.  Nor do I have any clue as to how my memory works.  It clearly isn't photographic, and if it is associative, I have no knowledge of how it makes its connections or retrieves particular memories.  Thinking about this expression, this is not a process of bringing forth what I have stored over the decades.  There is much more to it than that.  The stream of consciousness nature indicates that consciousness is somehow fashioning all of this on other than conscious levels.  But, I still think of my consciousness ... as if there is a part of consciousness that belongs to me.  But, is the nature of consciousness such that it can belong to anyone?  Or, is consciousness a free agent, apart from life, operating in a whole different realm, yet animating all life.

21 May 2008

Exactly 2012 words yesterday.  That is clearly a sign.  2012 and 2013 are prominent transition years in the Mayan calendar.  2012 is also the year of my second Easter birthday.  I've known this fact since 1972 when I first learned to program a calculator.  One of my first programs calculated the dates of Easter from 1750 to 2150.  Only two years landed on my birthday, 2007 and 2012.  However, at this time, though I knew these were to be significant somehow, they were 35 and 40 years into the future.  Now, one is past, and the other is less than four years away.  I don't know that I felt any different as a result of the first one.  That, in itself, surprised me.  Though, there may have been a change on subtle levels that is only now being reflected in the nature of what is able to be expressed here.  I am soaring again.  Soaring higher than I have since October of 2007.  I forgot about that.  While there was no apparent change around the time of my birthday.  There was a significant change six months later ... one that resulted in a visit to the doctor and a leave of absence for 10 days due to extreme mania at a time when I was taking my medications regularly as prescribed.  This had never happened before.  My first experience in 1993 was intense, lasting over eight months, with a ten day hospital stay and a three month leave of absence.  My first relapse was due to stopping to take my medications.  It also required a 10 day hospital stay and a three month leave of absence.  My second relapse was due to reducing my medications.  It required a 2 day hospital stay and a three week leave of absence.  From this, I have learned that my medications are important to controlling my condition, but they are not sufficient.  Not that I think the condition needs to be controlled.  The label the doctors have given to it is bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness.  However, I do not feel ill.  In fact, when I am soaring at the heights of mania, I am happier and freer than ever.  However, I recognize that it is difficult to function at work and in the world from such states of consciousness.  But, I don't really function in the world anyway.  So, this is not really a motivating factor.  Through it all, even during the times when I was in the hospital, I have experienced everything as being part of a spiritual awakening experience for me.  I still don't consider myself ill, even after over 15 years.  Illness implies that there is a deficiency that must somehow be corrected to remove the dis-ease.  But, I don't feel dis-ease.  The onset of the mania corresponded exactly with the birth of the Beyond Imagination expression.  So, in a way, all that is expressed here is the product of a dis-eased mind.  Or is it?  It seems that what is expressed here is not the product of a mind at all.  It goes far beyond that.  In fact, it goes far beyond anything that I can imagine.  If only more people could experience the exhilaration of soaring in consciousness.  It is such a tremendous high.  It is also addictive.  You might say this expression is addictive to me as well.  It is something that I return to to engage in often.  I do it because I must.  I do it because I like the feelings that I get from doing it.  Further, I do it because I am addicted to the material that comes forth.  It draws me like a magnet, or like a moth to a flame.  It consumes everything that I am and more.  Yet, it leaves me refreshed and more than I could possibly be without it.

There are great benefits to soaring in consciousness.  For one thing, it is a natural high that is free.  One just has to learn how to do it.  I don't know how to teach that.  Though, I believe that you can learn from following in the footsteps or mindsteps of others who have done it.  Allow them to point the way.  Read the greatest thought of the ages.  Read metaphysical books.  Read this very expression.  These are all things that you can do.  Learn to tap the source within.  First you must look within to find that source.  Then, listen to it.  Then act in a manner that allows it to be expressed through you in some creative way.  Writing happens to be my way.  Yours may be through song, through dance, through art, through relationships, or through any number of ways.  You will know what is right for you.  Doing it will make your heart sing as nothing else can do.  Allow the genius within you to be unleashed and behold the wonders that manifest.  Yes, there is a genius within each of us.  Love is the soul of that genius.  There is one and only one secret to great works ... it is Love, Love, Love.  Be all that you can be.  Dance the dance of your life.  Touch the world with your special presence.  Only you can do that.  I say all of this, but do I walk my talk?  Do I believe what I say enough to act in accord with it?  The immediate answer is no.  It seems that I have allowed fear to get in my way.  But, what is there to fear.  The thing that comes to mind is the judgment of others.  But, why should I be concerned about that?  Why would I give my power away and allow the judgment of others to impact me in any way.  I am whole and complete.  I am a divine spiritual being expressing in flesh.  No judgment coming from another can change any of that.  What about judgment of myself?  Hmm ... here I have been a harsh critic all of my life, though not so much since the Beyond Imagination expression began.  Am I being all that I can be?  The immediate answer seems to be no.  Are there things that I can do to improve that?  Yes, indeed there are.  Then, why am I not doing them?  Actually, I am doing them as I am moved to do them.  Of late, there is a sense that this is enough, that this is perfect somehow.  It does not mean that I like everything that I experience.  But, there seem to be things that are fully under my control, things that are partially under my control, and things that are not under my control at all.  From another perspective, everything is under spirits control, but she exerts that control through us.  That is an interesting perspective.  But, how does it change the way that we live our lives?  When we live in a spiritual world, a magic transformation takes place.  Spirit does not struggle, spirit does not want.  All needs are fulfilled effortlessly.  Abundance is manifest everywhere.  Clearly, this is not the experience of many on the planet.  Survival alone can be a major struggle.  Drought, famine, wars, disease, lack impact the lives of many.  Yet, this is a spiritual world nonetheless.  Everything that happens here is spiritual, the expression of spirit through form.  There can be nothing else.  How do we reconcile this?  How can these things that do not appear to be spiritual be spiritual?  The bottom line is that they just are!  Everything is spiritual.  There is no thing that can be separate from spirit.  Everything is vibration.  Everything is the word made flesh.  Everything, no exceptions.  Everything is beautiful in its own way as the song says.  Everything is perfect.  Everything is whole and complete.  If we are not seeing it that way, it is not because it is not so, but because our perception is faulty.  Everything is as it needs to be in the moment.  And, that is true of every moment.  There is a drama that is being played out in the world.  Everything is intricately balanced.  It all comes forth from the interactions of vibrations.  Once the string of creation was plucked ... everything was set into motion and completed in an instant.  Actually, in no time at all.  It was then for consciousness to go forth to explore what had be created by compartmentalizing itself into units and dimensions such as time, space, and even mind.  We are consciousness exploring the reality that we experience.  Are we creating that experience?  No, but we are creating the meaning that we assign to what we experience.  There is a sense that what happens happens.  We are primarily observers experiencing what happens and converting it into meaning.  What happens always happens in the moment, in the NOW.  There is no other time that exists ... though we think in terms of past and future.  We think in terms of cause and effect.  And, we observe a whole mindset that has dominated the world for nearly 400 years that is scientific in outlook and reliant on certain methods and the application of logic.  This is not the predominant mindset for the world ... as most have no scientific training.  But, it is the mindset that has been funded and has yielded the most dramatic changes in our lives.  Technological changes have by far outdistanced anything else in the past century.

That is an interesting line of inquiry.   Can the entire universe and everything that transpired within it have truly been completed in the very act of creation?  Something within me says yes, that is indeed how it happened.  It is much like the earth.  Most of the natural formations were completed long before anyone arrived to witness them.   Yosemite and the Grand Canyon come to mind.  These were created by natural forces long ago, long before any people were around to see them.  Though, if we look closely, we can understand what kinds of forces were at play and for how long.  But how about the life of Wayne?  Was it complete long before I walked in and began to experience being and expressing in this form?  Was all of this expression, including what is to come forth in the rest of my life already completed in the original creation of the universe.  Am I the only consciousness that has walked though this particular life of Wayne.  Or, is this like the movies, where many can observe with each taking away their own unique experience.  Are not TV shows and movies like mass dreams, where tens of millions see the same images and get the same messages?  Can any of us choose to walk down any path, just as we choose what TV shows or movies to watch.  Or, do we even choose at all?  What determines the boundaries of a partition of consciousness?  Is there not ONE consciousness that collectively experiences all of this?  Hmm ... even our emotions, our thoughts, and our awareness?  Is this any different than a computer operates, able to partition multiple tasks over time so that they all appear to happen simultaneously?  The different tasks are unaware of one another except for their needs to communicate with one another or to provide services for one another.  Is that how consciousness works as well, only on a much grander scale and with beings with consciousness as its constituent parts?  In a similar vein, we know that projecting images on a screen with an update rate of 60 times per second is sufficient to make the movies seem continuous and seamless.  Further, we only need about 1200 x 1600 pixels of combinations of three colors and a relatively small number of intensities even for what constitutes large screen high definition.  This is as much as our brains are able to process.  Technology however is not limited in such a manner.  Theoretically, we could interleave ten movies in 600 times per second and "see" ten movies simultaneously.  However, we would find it difficult to focus on that much information simultaneously.  Though, in some sports bars, there are many screens all tuned to different games.  That allows people to quickly choose which game to watch and change their focus without having to change channels, but it does not constitute simultaneous watching? 

Where is this taking us?  Technology and science have allowed us to see how pieces of complex systems operate.  And, they have even allowed us to create some complex systems of our own.  However, they will never be sufficient to allow us to understand us.  We are too big to fathom in that way.  The underlying mechanisms of how we operate are not mechanisms at all.  That implies a mechanicalness that life simply will not adhere to.  That is not to say that there are not things that we can understand, and that such things may prove useful.  Though useful implies that there is a choice to use.  At this point, it is not clear to me that there is such a choice.  My sense is that all such choices were made long ago ... at the very point at which the creation happened.  Hmm ... even the word happened implies that it occurred over time in some way.  But, time and space are mental constructs.  And, all such constructs are illusory.  Yes, even the mental constructs revealed here.  For, is there anything more that words can convey.  To get to the real, we must reach beyond the constructs and find the meaning towards which the constructs point. 

An image just came to mind, a vibratory structure, a form.  The sense was that as the original creation was happening, all paths were explored.  However, not all paths were realized in form ... this was limited to combinations that had utility in some way, forms that were beautiful, forms that were elegant.  Out of all possibilities, those forms became the realities that consciousness would then experience in detail.  But, how was utility determined?  What criteria was used?  The sense is that this was an emergent property of the creation itself.  Interference patterns emerged that were synergistic, that were holistic, that were the embodiment of ideals.  But, we are not talking about static forms, or are we?  No, not static in terms of a single moment in time.  But, static like a movie.  A movie is roughly a two hour static expression.  Everyone that sees it sees the same expression as attested to by the fact that many people watch the same movie in different places in the country at different times.  Each time, the sequence of images and the accompanying dialog is the same.  The attention of the individual and the meaning the individual assigns to what is seen and heard are different for each, and are even different if the same individual sees the same movie multiple times.  But, is the meaning predetermined as well even though it is unknown to the consciousness experiencing it.  Is this thing I call Wayne, this 50 year experience to date, a glorified movie that I am experiencing?  Can it be experienced by anyone, just as a movie can be?  Would there be any utility in consciousness experiencing it from another vantage point or is a single pass enough.  Collectively, we are participating in a world movie as well ... with each individual aware of only a small part of what is going on.  We have over six billion humans on the planet.  That is a lot to be aware of collectively.  But, there are far more than billions of cells in each human and we have no problem functioning collectively as individual beings.  It seems that we should be treating humankind as a body, as something that is evolving in utility, growing to know itself, and self-organizing into a form in and of its own.  It's rate of growth seems to be cancerous of late, doubling in far too few years than seems safe and sane.  But, this must be necessary or it simply would not be.  Why would consciousness choose to express and experience in this manner?  The answer that came to mind was because it has no choice.  Its sole purpose is to express and experience in form.

22 May 2008

It has been a busy week, but a good week overall ... especially for this expression.  We are already approaching 7000 words for the week, with at least two days left to express.  Anytime that we achieve 10000 words for the week, we feel that we have truly accomplished something.  That comes to over 13 pages of expression.  This week, the expression has been deeper than usual and has broached new topics in whole new ways.  I like that.  It stretches whom that I am ... or more precisely whom that I know that I am.  It is not clear that whom that I am can stretch, grow, and change.  For the I AM lies in the domain of the formless.  Though, even speaking in terms of I suggests that there is NOT I as well.  And further, part of this NOT I seems to be composed of individual beings much the same as I am.  In fact, at present, there are over 6 billion of these beings on the planet, probably half of which were not here 20 years ago.  Then again, there are a lot of things in the world that were not here 20 years ago.  Technology has seen to that.  Its growth has been exponential.  But, for all of our technology, are our lives richer ... are we happier?  It seems that some are, but many are not.  Then again, who am I to answer that.  I don't observe much about the world.  I don't pay attention to news or current events on either a local scale or a global scale.  For one who speaks of the benefits of cooperative interdependence, how well do I live what I say?  Everything in the world is cooperatively interdependent.  Everything, no matter how independent it may seem.  Nothing can exist in isolation.  That is true in two respects.  Only nothing can exist in isolation.  And, no thing can exist in isolation.  All things are interdependent on one another.  They all exist together in one integrated whole.  While science is good at attempting to isolate things, the very process of breaking things apart loses any insight into the synergy that arises from their joining together.  Invention and creation are attempts to put things together as wholes.  But, how many of us actively participate in such processes?  On other than conscious levels, all of us do.  But, consciously, I would guess that the numbers are quite small.  The bottom line is that it does not matter whether it happens consciously or other than consciously.  What matters is that it does happen.

Back to NOT I.  The whole process of awakening and expanding awareness seems to involve making what is not I, I.  We grow by integrating more of what we are into what we are consciously aware that we are.  God is All That Is.  At some level of awareness, God and I are ONE.  At that level of awareness, I am God.  No, clearly I have not reached such a level of awareness.  But, there was a time in 1993, when I jumped up out of bed and said I am God, with a big "G" and knew that it was true to the core of my being.  I still remember that experience to this day, nearly 15 years later.  My wife thought I was crazy and even called the police.  But, there was nothing they could do.  I was on a spiritual high, and did not pose a danger to myself or others.  Yes, this was eccentric behavior, even for me.  But, it was still a few months before my mania would take me to the mental hospital for a reality check.  I couldn't have been easy to live with at the time.  My wife knew that something was wrong but there was nothing that she could do about it.  This was a process of going out of my mind ... of going Beyond Mind ... to find awareness.  And, I believe that I found it, as evidenced in this very expression.  But awareness is not a destination, it is a process of becoming more and more conscious ... to the point of becoming consciousness itself.  But is that not a destination?  No, it is not.  Consciousness is not some static thing.  Consciousness is ever in the process of manifesting form and expressing through those forms.  Then, what is consciousness?  I don't know that any words are sufficient to describe her.  The only thing that I think comes close is that consciousness is the property of being aware of being.  That makes it one step removed from being.  Further, that neglects consciousness being the motive force that creates form and expresses through form.  This very expression is a stream of consciousness.  But, it is not consciousness, it is only the work of consciousness.  Now, we've added the property of being a motive force.  But, what does that mean?  So far we have an aware force that is formless and timeless yet is able to know all and be all and create worlds and express through those worlds.  Is this not how many define God?  Actually, it is not clear that many define God in such a manner.  Perhaps that is the cause of many of the religious struggles in the world.

Conscious awareness seems to be an important point.  It is not enough to be aware.  We must take the next step and become aware that we are aware.  There is a recursive nature of consciousness that allows for untold complexities to arise and manifest.  In general, nature uses simple processes to create wonders and to create nearly endless variety and diversity.  Every snowflake is unique as is every animal and every human.  This is probably true for every grain of sand as well.  But is it true for every element, or every drop of water, or every type of molecule?  I don't know the answer to that.  At some level things are the same, but at other levels they are not.  Even electrons have properties that allow them to communicate instantaneously with other electrons they have been associated with even when they are separated by vast distances.  The bottom line is that there is far more to our world than we know.  Perhaps far more than we will ever know.  Though, all that we need to know will be revealed when we need to know it.  It will be revealed because we start looking for it earnestly with a pure intent.  The world is an open complex system.  The universe may be this as well.  What I'm thinking here is that consciousness is external force in the universe.  The universe is ultimately manifested form through which consciousness expresses.  Consciousness animates life.  Life animates form.  Life is not an emergent property from form.  Nor is consciousness an emergent property from life.  The cause is the other way around.  It flows from the unformed to the formed.  Nothing happens by accident.  Within the very first chord that begat the universe, all that was, is, and will be was created.  How could it be any other way?  There was not time and space.  There was only vibration, an inbreath and an outbreath.  And then, a thought in the mind of God.  The book of Genesis in the Bible offers an example of what six of these creation thoughts might have been to get to our very world with all of its teeming life.  Other traditions have similar creation myths as Joseph Campbell will attest.  We think in terms of needing a brain to think ... and a complex brain to think deeply.  But, is that truly necessary?  Does what is expressed here have anything at all to do with my brain?  I think not.  It emerges from something far beyond that, from a mind which is associated with but separate from the brain, and from a consciousness which feeds that mind a stream of expression.

I took a break for about an hour and a half to go home and to eat. We'll have to see how that impacts what comes forth.  I only vaguely remember what came forth even though I just read through most of it again.  That is just how my memory works.  It is very vague.  It does not remember details.  The only way that I can quote myself is to go back and find something that I want to use as a quote.  I don't do that very often.  But, I do create works of quotes that I then return to time and time again.  In fact, just last night I spent over an hour revisiting 300 quotes from the beginning of 2002.  Though, within minutes of doing that, I couldn't recall a single quote that I had read.  Yet, there was a sense that reading the quotes at that time was necessary.   What my mind did with that exercise, I'll never know.  But, thoughts program us at an intimate level.  And, those things that I select as quotes are particularly powerful.  At one time in my life, the quotes of others were key driving forces in my life.  This changed a few years after the Beyond Imagination expression started coming forth.  Then, the quotes that most moved me were selected from this expression.  Are the quotes of such a quality that they can move others as they move me.  I believe that they are.  But, it is not clear how to give them the opportunity to do so.  By 2003, a decade of expression allowed us to select sufficient Beyond Imagination Quotes to create a book of over 600 pages.  As far as I know, I am the only one that has this book.  Oh well, there are several other Beyond Imagination books which less than a handful of copies exist.  Nearly all of the books were published in 2003.  Why publish books that are only to be read by a few others at most?  At the time they were published, I didn't know that such would be the outcome.  I fully expected that the books would be successful and would reach their rightful audience.  In fact, I thought the books would be so successful that they would allow me to work fulltime on the Beyond Imagination expression.  Yet, here I am five years later with less than a dozen total sales.  Clearly, my expectations and thought on this matter were highly mistaken.  Why?  I don't really know.  I have read each of the books several times and I still find them fascinating.  Lately, I've begun to think that maybe all of this expression is through me for me.  My attempts to share it have basically been for naught.  The song, For Your Eyes Only, come to mind.  Maybe all of this is meant for my eyes only.  What does it say that consciousness would go to such lengths to express all of this for me?  This is a monumental effort.  I would guess that we have devoted in excess of 8000 hours to this expression.  That is the equivalent of four years of fulltime work and that doesn't include the time reading it.  Clearly, this is more than a hobby.  But, why am I moved to capture the expression in Composer?  This makes each days musing a web page that can be easily posted to the internet.  Though, it has been several years since I have been moved to post any of it.  That might change if there was positive feedback on the millions of words that have already been posted at the Beyond Imagination site.  Hmm ... then what is to become of all of this?  There is still a sense that it is of such a quality that it could impact the world.  But, maybe the way that will happen is by what it moves me to become and to do.  That is an interesting way of looking at things, one that I have never considered before.  Truly, what counts is whom that we are, and expressing that in our lives.  I have considered this expression to be the grandest thing in my life.  But, is that really the case?  Yes, the expression is good, perhaps even great ... but it is only expression.  Ultimately, what matters is not the expression but the truths to which that expression points.  One obvious place that it points is to the source of the expression.  Though, here, you only know that source from its works.  But this is not like black box modeling in electronics, where you try to deduce the workings of the box by observing how the box transforms inputs into outputs.  We don't know what the inputs to consciousness are.  Yes, we can see the output here in this endless stream of words.  But, that does not tell us anything about source other than that it can produce such a stream of consciousness.  Study the words though we might, it gets us no closer to understanding what source truly is.  Yet, there is a meaning being conveyed that is intoxicating.  There are glimpses into the nature of the source that come forth in what is expressed.  Further, often they are things that exceed my own conscious understanding.  How do we fathom that?  How do we reconcile ourselves with the fact that all of this could flow forth through us?  Also, there is a nagging sense that what flows forth from source through us ultimately comes from us as well.  This would imply that we are far more than we seem to be.  And if that is true for us individually, how much more true is it to us collectively.

23 May 2008

We're doing well this week ... five musings in five days, sixteen for the month, and 45 for the year.  We've had better years in terms of frequency and quantity of expression, but we take whatever comes these days.  I'm particularly pleased by the pace of late.  We've been averaging close to 1100 words per hour.  That is something for such an original expression.  But, it is what it is.  Even if I could type faster, it is not clear that the expression would flow any faster.  Besides, what would be the utility of having more ... other than to give me more to consider in my conceptual frameworks for how consciousness functions and expresses in the world?  OK, it has the potential to do that for others too.  Just seeing what is expressed here has to stretch our concepts of what we believe ourselves to be.  Those of you reading this are creating it just as much as I did.  Only you are taking it in through your eyes rather than from an inner source as I did.  But consciousness doesn't care how the material gets in.  Whether from the inside or from the outside, the point is for the material to be consumed so that we can use it in our lives in beneficial ways.  It is up to each individual to assign meaning to the expression.  That meaning will be unique to each individual exposed to the material.  And rightfully so.  Each of us has been uniquely programmed genetically and experientially to get us where we are today.  Though, being programmed presupposes that there is one or more programmers doing the programming.  Who are these programmers and how did they get their jobs?  Interesting questions.  You could also ask we are we and how did we get our jobs.  Not only the jobs that we work at to earn a living, but our spiritual jobs as well.  For me, this very expression is one of my spiritual jobs.  I do it for the sheer joy of doing it.  Though, I have been hopeful at times to turn it into my means of earning a living.  Someone said "do what you love and the money will follow".  Deep down, that strikes a chord.  Clearly it is a possibility.  But, being possible doesn't make it so right now.  In the interim, I continue to do what I am moved to do.  That involves serving to masters.  Though, there is a strong sense that such will not be the case for long.  However, I have been very poor at making predictions involving time where I have an interest in a particular outcome.  Joseph Campbell told us: "follow your bliss".  And, he was a very wise man who walked his talk. 

We have millions of words of expression to date.  At our present pace of a 2000 word musing every other day, it will take 1000 days to generate another million words.  That is less than three years.  But, that means keeping to the pace, something that I have shown that I can do in the past.  But, who other than me will read those words?  That is roughly a 1000 hour investment of my time, a sizeable chunk over three years but not so large as to be unwieldy.  That is the equivalent of half time for a year, or full time for half a year.  At this moment, I can't think of a better way to spend that time.  At least here, there is a product that is generated.  There is something to show for the commitment I make.  And, it is something that can be readily shared with others.  In time, there will be kindred spirits that can be served by this.  Whether they will need this expression by then or have reached equivalent states on their own remains to be seen.  The fact that I am able to bring this forth in this manner indicates that consciousness has reached a state in which it can express in flesh in this way.  Consciousness knows exactly what it took to get each of us to the states that we are in.  As a result, she knows what things work and what things don't work to expand awareness.  Things can only progress in flesh to the degree that we make ourselves fitting vessels through which spirit can express.  The bottom line is that it does not matter whether another ever reads any of this.  What consciousness needed to learn, she learned.  And, she can adapt that and apply it to others in the ways that are most efficient and elegant.  My actions, however, change me thus providing consciousness fresh material with which to work.  For each of us, our primary "work" is to live fully, to be all that we can be.  It helps if we find ways to enjoy the process.  My spiritual work is here, where it has always been.  It is for this that I came.  It seems that there are many ways to build foundations.  I had thought that some of the foundations that I was building were coming forth in these words.  But, I may have been in error there.  What I have been building is a bridge to source, and a vessel through which that source can speak.  Hmm ... that is not quite right.  The reason for the speaking is to educate me and awaken me.  I am a guinea pig of sorts allowing consciousness to determine what is necessary to open channels for various types of expression.  Consciousness experiences through not only me, but through all of us both individually and collectively.  How do we reconcile this with the idea that all paths were worked out in the moment of creation?  All paths may have been created, but were all experiences along those paths explored?  Just think of Yosemite.  The beauty and grandeur were created long before any human was able to visit Yosemite and experience its majesty.  I've been there many times and still remember the feeling of awe ... there must be a God that could create such a place as this.  But, until a being with consciousness was able to feel that, it just wasn't the same.  It is not enough to create something.  One needs to have the appreciation of someone experiencing it to bring completion.  How many need to experience something?  That depends on what it is.  For our National Parks, this is clearly millions over the years, and rightfully so.  On the other hand, for this expression does it need to be more than one?  If it is meant to be, it will be.  It has been put out in a way that people can stumble upon it.  But, is that enough?  Perhaps, perhaps not.  Only time will tell.  Back to needing consciousness expressing in form to be able to focus on and experience a piece of the creation.  No, that is not quite right.  There is ONE consciousness that is creating forms and expressing through those forms simultaneously everywhere.  But, the individual forms are points of view that allow consciousness to experience intricacies of the creation in ways that could not otherwise be experienced.  We are those points of view ... every thing, every being, everything.  What are the laws of spirit pertaining to points of view?  Points of view exist HERE and NOW.  Points of view are interrelated to one another.  There is no separation other than that imposed by focusing of attention.  Points of view focus attention to experience the creation.  Everything that each of us experience individually is experienced by the collective.  Points of view have awareness.  Levels of awareness allow the creation to be experienced in whole new ways.  Levels of awareness permit greater appreciation of the wholeness and ONENESS of the creation.

Wow.  This is really getting deep.  This is a whole new line of thought, unlike anything that I have ever encountered or expressed before.  All that I can say is Halleluiah.  I'm not even sure if that is how it is spelled.  Back to points of view.  I am clearly a point of view.  Interesting, I was moved to state it precisely in that way.  In particular, not as I have a point of view ... as most might express it.  Rather, this is what I AM.  As that came forth, there was no doubt about it.  I just knew that it was true.  Collectively, the evolution of consciousness is the process of consciousness becoming more and more aware of the creation.  But, the creation is a static thing.  It is like a song, or a movie, only far more complex.  The song exists as music and lyrics but has no reality until someone performs it, until someone sings the lyrics to the music.  Different people can arrange the music and come up with new versions of the song with the same lyrics sung in a different manner.  We can even compare different interpretations of the song.  But, it goes further than this, most songs stir up feelings and emotions in the listener.  These feelings and emotions are different for each of us because we make different associations with experiences in our lives.  All creative expression is similar.  Dance, Art, Music, Sculpture, Literature, Movies, Philosophy, Sports, Photography, Science and nearly every discipline all create forms for us to use or enjoy, hence experience.  Because we are unique points of view we are able to see different facets of these forms, and by attaching emotion to them we create unique experiences.  The world is such a wonderful place.  But, it is the fact that we are points of view that allows us to experience the wonder.  We are also form, and are moved by consciousness to express through form by participating in creative endeavors.  What many fail to realize is that all endeavors are creative.  We are creative beings ... we can't help but to create, even if it is only through experiencing things in new ways. 

There is still a sense that I am here to bring all of this forth, but that it is not my job to edit or rearrange it in any way.  If that is to be done, it is for someone to do that has the appropriate skills to do it.  I like being in the bringing forth mode.  This is where the creative thrust that propels something into being happens.  In this case, we are talking about a stream of consciousness.  But, what is a stream of consciousness?  It is a stream of words that come forth serially along with punctuation.  What is contained in the stream of consciousness originates on other than conscious levels.  I don't know how it happens.  I just know that it does happen.  Further, it happens while I am fully conscious.  And, while I am conscious of the words as they come through me, I am not conscious of the source.  I do not feel that I am creating all of this.  It just happens automatically.  Nor is there any stepping aside to allow it to happen.  I open Composer and I start typing, it is that simple.  I don't have to plan what to say next, I only have to allow the next word to come forth in the moment.  One after one, until we have roughly 2000 and I stop for the day.  Could I do this longer?  Definitely.  For extended periods of time?  Probably.  But, that is not what I am moved to do in the moment.  It seems that there needs to be a balancing act between living life and serving spirit.  That would suggest that I am not living when I am expressing in this manner.  And, to some degree that is true.  Living implies that there is some interaction going on.  And here, at times it seems that such is not the case.  This is typically a one way flow of information.  Though there are many questions asked, and often answers are given to these questions.  But, there is no sense that I am asking these questions either.  They are just part of the stream of consciousness.

26 May 2008

Strange weather this weekend.  Last weekend, the high was 92 in Idyllwild.  This weekend, it was 48.  Even the desert peaked at 80 compared to 112 last weekend.  I don't remember a Memorial Day weekend being so cold.  Oh well, it is what it is.  Though, the weather says something about the state of the mass consciousness.  What that is, I don't know.  It was an enjoyable weekend anyway.  Though, as usual, I didn't find time to muse.  But, I did read from 2003 Musings - Vol III for several hours.  As always, I was blown away by what came forth.  There was a vague sense of remembrance as I read.  But, that was all.  How that can be still astonishes me.  We've been doing this for going on 16 years.  It should be old hat by now.  But, it isn't.  There is something special that is going on here.  Something that makes this the hallmark of my life.  I don't know what I could do to beat this.  Though, there is a sense that such will indeed occur.  I don't have to know how it will happen.  I only need to do what I am moved to do.  Spirit is the motive force in my life.  She has been such for some time now.  Though, as the Billy Joel song says "she only reveals what she wants me to see", or in my case say or type.

I've been noticing myself thinking much more than I ever have noticed before.  But, I've been doing it from the standpoint of observing rather than participating in the stream of thought.  The stream is much different than this stream of consciousness.  So much so, that it does not seem like a stream at all.  Instead, it is disjointed and fragmented.  Though, this expression can seem that way at times as well.  It can take sharp turns between paragraphs or even from one sentence to the next.  I also noticed that my mind is blank a lot.  I believe that is what allows this stream of consciousness to come through as it does.  As the saying goes: "nature abhors a vacuum".  One of the quickest ways of receiving something in our life is to create a vacuum for it.  But, how does one do that?  For spiritual expression, we have to stop doing things in and of our own.  This allows spirit to step in and come forth through us.  That works for writing, but does it work for other things?  I haven't been moved to try it for other things ... so, I don't really know.

What next?  What am I moved to do next?  I am still here engaged in this stream of consciousness expression.  But, is that all?  It seems that there is more that I should be doing, more that I could be doing.  But, whatever it is, I am not moved to do it yet.  Perhaps tomorrow.  But, nothing ever happens tomorrow.  The only place that we can make a difference is NOW, in the present.  Everything begins HERE, in the moment.  There is no other time that exists, ever.  Yet, the moments seem to past, carrying us into the next moment.  Look at me.  I'm half a century old.  When this expression began, I was only 35.  When my love affair with metaphysics began, I was only 16.  But, in reality all time is NOW.  There is no separate me at 16 and 35, or any other previous or future age.  There is simply me NOW.  And, that I AM is complete, encompassing all that I ever was or will be.  Does that mean all of the events of my life have already played themselves out.  Yes, that is exactly what that means.  However, what hasn't occurred is my experience of the events.  Somehow, the experience is new and is necessary for consciousness to know the creation that it has manifested.  Something just flashed in my mind ... an image of a hiker walking through the wilderness.  The wilderness is there waiting to be explored.  But, the consciousness chooses the path by which to walk through the wilderness.  The question is: does this choice happen in advance, or on the fly based on what is found and following the interests consciousness in deciding where to go next?  That is, is the path of the hiker destined or is it chosen?  Similarly, in my forays into the wilderness of consciousness, is any of this my doing on a conscious level?  The sense is that no, it is not.  Yet, I still feel free.  But, in what ways am I free?  What choices in my life do I know that I make?  It is not clear that there are any.  Here, at work, and at home, it is much the same.  I do what I am moved to do.  I don't really think about   In all three domains there are things that need to be done, and I am the right person to do them.  It only seems natural to do them.  That is not to say that I do everything willingly.  Sometimes it is a struggle and even a fight.  But, ultimately what is right wins out ... or I think that it does anyway.

There is a different character to the expression tonight.  It seems more personal and less focused somehow.  We'll have to see where it takes us.  What do we want to happen NOW?  What do we want to do NOW?  What do we want to be NOW?  We can only DO what we are moved to DO.  We can only BE whom that we are.  That is always the right thing.  And, that is always sufficient.  Everyone is doing the best they can given their understanding, abilities, and circumstances.  If we expect things to change ... then we need to change the understanding, the abilities, and/or the circumstances.  Collectively, we can do this for all individuals if only we build the appropriate foundations for a new society.  We can do this.  We can do this here and now.  The question is: will we do this?  At some point, the answer will be YES.  But, that point does not seem to be NOW.  Then when?  When the time is right ... not one moment sooner or later.  There is a sense that it is already done ... that we are in the process of acting it out in flesh.  However, we can only see that from the perspective of spirit.  If it is happening in the world, it is being done in secret behind the scenes.  That would not be the first time something major has happened in secret.  But, here we are speaking of bringing forth an entirely new world order.  Those in power roles are not going to find it easy to relinquish those roles.  But, such is what they must do.  For, the very nature of the world to be built is antithetical to the world in which they wield their power.  But, the play is changing scenes.  And, the new scene calls for the feminine to assume the roles of power in the world.  That will happen ... and probably within my lifetime.  It's about time.  Masculine energy has ruled for far too long yielding many of the problems that we face in the world.  It is time to reverse that.  It is time to allow the divine feminine to occupy her rightful place in the scheme of things.  NOW is the time for this.  NOW.  But, what if it doesn't happen.  That is not even a possibility in my world.  The play of consciousness is already written.  It is up to us to play our roles and act out the dramas of our lives individually and collectively.  We can do that NOW.  At no other time have the circumstances been as ripe for this transformation to occur.  How can I be so sure?  Because this is what I came for?  This is the show that I came to observe ... more than that, help to create.  And, it is to be a grand show indeed.  Where it will take us, only consciousness knows ... and perhaps she doesn't know either.  After all, she is leading us all one step at a time.  It may be that we don't know where to go next until we take a step.  So long as consciousness collectively stays one step ahead of us, everything works out perfectly.  The expression of consciousness is perfect in all ways at all times.  Spirit could never create anything less than perfect.  Consciousness is there observing all that is experienced by creating forms and expressing through those forms.  Hmm ... I have used consciousness and spirit somewhat synonymously before.  Now, it seems that there is a distinction.  Spirit creates forms.  Consciousness observes the expression by riding within the forms.  Spirit collectively observes everything and orchestrates everything.  Consciousness is the awareness.  Yet still there is ONE spirit and ONE consciousness.  Spirit is creative.  Consciousness is reflective.

27 May 2008
 
What a busy day!  We're getting started an hour later than I had hoped.  Oh well, some days are like that.  We muse when we can.  That has to be enough.  That is all that we can do.  During the week there seems to be more free time than on weekends.  Perhaps some of that is how I use my time on weekends.  Regardless, I am happy with what is coming forth this year.  I am the proud parent of a wonderful expression ... a stream of consciousness that is able to deal with things that I do not consciously know that I know.  Yet, they are expressed through me nonetheless.  Perhaps the assumption that I know what is expressed through me is faulty.  Do I really know it?  Or, am I learning it as I read it?  That could be the case ... but consciously I am forgetting it as fast as I read it as well.  This written record is in a very real way my memory of this expression.  The only other conscious memory that I have is very vague at best.  But, that is not confined solely to this expression.  In my work, I often do not remember what specifically I have done within moments of having done it.  There too, a written record is essential to my functioning.  Perhaps that is why I find most meetings to be a waste of my time.  There is nothing to grab onto.  My attention is not suited to the spoken word.  Such is just how it is.  Perhaps this could change.  But, somehow I don't see it changing.  I am perfectly fine operating in the way that I do.  I can function in the world when I choose to.  I just don't choose to very often.  That is the hermit nature coming out.  That is what I have been, but is that what I AM NOW?  It seems that my work is driving me to interact with others far more than I used to.  So far, that has been OK ... even pleasant at times.  Also, I am started to take more of a leadership role in how I work and interact with my staff and my customers.  That too has had positive results.  There is still a strong sense that everything that I do is preparing me for a role that I came to perform in this existence.  Indeed, this is a play of consciousness, and we all have our roles to play.  These are roles that we chose, roles that we auditioned for, roles that we were selected to play.  Hmm ... that begs the question of who received the auditions and made the choices.  The answer that comes to mind is consciousness herself.  She is the playwright and the producer of the drama of life as it is express on earth HERE and NOW.  Interesting that this came through as "on earth".  Does that mean that there are other consciousnesses creating their dramas elsewhere in the universe ... or even in multiverses?  Language may not be able to convey many things, but it can convey a lot of things.  Universes, multi-verses, multiple dimensional consciousness ... there are a lot of things that we can point to that we may never be able to fully grasp there meaning.  Something a psychic once told me just came to mind, something about coming from Star Creation Central.  When she told me this, it just reverberated within me as being true, even though I didn't know what it meant.  I still don't know other than sensing that it was somewhere that I worked before coming here.  Does that make me alien?  I could very well be.  It might explain the stranger in a strange land feeling that I have had as far back as I can remember.  It seems that many of the things that I do, I do because that is what people do on this planet ... or, in this country anyway.  But, this expression is different.  This is something that I do for myself, for the joy that I experience in doing it, for the pure love of it.  Once the switch clicked in 1993, there was no turning it off again.  Though, there have been times when the frequency of expression was rare to non-existent for months at a time.  I don't know what causes this.  But, things, including this expression seem to happen in cycles, even if the cycles are not well-defined.  That is OK.  We can ride the waves of consciousness wherever they take us.  We know that wherever that is will be good.  Life is good.

There is something wonderful about a stream of consciousness expression.  It takes you to places that nothing else can in ways that nothing else can.  At least, that is how I experience it.  Whether others experience things in this way, I simply do not know.  The number of others that I have met in my whole life is probably on the order of 1000.  That's in 50 years.  Further, only a small fraction of these did I know to any real degree.  We're probably talking less than 50.  Less than 10 of these have read any of the Beyond Imagination material, and of those only a few have discussed it with me to any degree and that was over a decade ago.  As you can tell, I have truly led an isolated existence.  I have stayed within a shell of my own making ... a shell that kept me safe but also kept me away from others.  Is that a good thing?  From what has been able to come forth in this expression, I would have to answer yes.  However, did I need it to be that way in order to get to 1993 and from 1993 to NOW?  On the one hand, if it were not necessary, it would not have happened in the way that it did.  Everything is perfect.  All expression is perfect.  Yet, here I am wanting to create the foundations for a new world that is better than the current world in major ways.  But, how can there be anything better than what is already perfect?  It seems that we have found the question of the night.  Indeed, how can there be anything better?  The key seems to be in the statement be all that you can be.  This applies not only to individuals but to the collective.  And, in the world, one thing that is everpresent is change.  While the world and everyone in it is always perfect, we are also everchanging.  When we speak of the collective, we include governments, companies, schools, countries, churches, religions, communities, teams, groups, etc ...  These are all doing the best they can under the conditions that they find theirselves in.  These are all evolving to permit the greater expression of spirit through them.  Yes, sometimes it appears that change is happening at a snail's pace.  But, it is happening nonetheless.  Further, it is happening in the right direction, for that is ultimately the only direction that it can go.

We have ideas on where this change is headed.  In particular, we dream of a world that is more supportive of us all on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels.  Can we make that world our world?  And, can we do so in a manner that avoids suffering to the degree possible?  Can we create a peaceful world?  Not just a world without war.  We have had that for brief periods of time in the past.  We are speaking of a world where peace is the order of the day, where people respect one another as the spiritual beings that they are.  John Lennon sang of this world in his song Imagine.  That song has become popular of late.  It was even sung in the final round of American Idol before tens of millions of people at once.  But, were the people listening.  Did they hear what the song is speaking of.  Did it strike a chord deep within them as it has always done within me.  The sense is no.  However, it did reach some.  And, it did reach all of the audience at some level.  It may have not been enough to make a difference yet.  But, at the very least it is a sign that the mass consciousness is ready to experience something wonderful.  Why this particular song?  And why was it chosen as the final performance of the final contestant?  These things don't happen by accident or by chance.  This particular song was chosen on multiple levels for a multitude of reasons.  "Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try.  No hell below us, above us only sky.  Imagine all the people, living life in peace.  Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can.  Nothing to kill or die for, no religion too.  Imagine all the people sharing all the world.  No greed nor hunger, a brotherhood of man."  I know I didn't get it right, but it is as close as I can remember.  These are powerful things to imagine.  But, we need to do more than that, we need  to make them real on this planet at this time.  Can we do that?  Of course we can?  The only question is when.  And the only answer to when is NOW.  Act as if.  That is the key.  The world of our dreams already exists embedded within the present one.  We have only to focus on it to draw it out.  We can do this individually at any time.  When enough of us do it, collectively we will have changed the world for all of us.  Is that the only way to do things?  In this case, yes.  That is how we change the world ... one step, one person at a time.  Though, we live in a time when we can do this en masse ... primarily through entertainment and the mass media.  These mechanisms reach hundreds of millions every day.  If it works for commercials, subliminally getting us to buy particular products or services, why can it not work to educate us for the greatest good of the society and the world.  It is just a matter of what programming we have it do.  Why should we allow it to be employed for the good of the captains of industry rather than for the good of us all.  Yes, I have a bias toward the good of the collective.  Why that should be the case given how isolated my life is from that collective, I'll never know.  But, it is what it is.  I have this driving need to serve the world somehow.  I believe that I am doing that in bringing forth this expression in this manner.  Though, how can I impact the world if the expression only reaches me?  But, that is not truly the case.  The expression is also experienced by the collective through my personal experience of bringing it forth.  And, from what comes forth, consciousness learns what works and what does not work in bringing forth such expression.  This facilitates how she speaks through others.  So, there is benefit that comes from all of this, even if it is for my eyes only.  Though, there is still a sense that the expression must be captured to allow me to reflect on it over time.  I suspect that others could benefit from doing this as well, but that is not for me to make happen.  Though, I am open to having a role in allowing it to happen, even if that means doing new things in new ways ... especially if that means doing new things in new ways,

Hmm ... 1957 words, the year before I was born.  The pace has been good.  We still have 15 minutes until the two hour mark.  I don't know why the pace has quickened but it is in excess of 1000 words per hour now.  That compares to roughly 800 words per hour during the high periods of 2002-2003.  That's like getting an extra musing for every four that we got before.  Not that it matters much.  We still express far more than we can expect many people to read.  Though perhaps that is not quite true.  At 300 words per minute, a 2000 word musing that took two hours to generate can be read in 7 minutes.  Even if you slow down to half that speed so that you can carefully read the expression, we are only talking about 15 minutes.  Is what I write good enough that an audience can devote 15 minutes to reading it four to five times per week?  Clearly, it is good enough for me to spend nearly ten times that amount of time on it.  But then, I am not your average person.  I only know what I am moved to do ... and that is to express and to read this expression often.  Of course, I am biased when it comes to this.  I know that.  Because of that I am guarded and careful.  I know that I can be grandiose at times.  OK, maybe even often.  But, hopefully, I do it in a way that is benign and even beneficial.  My heart is in the right place.  I would build the foundations for a better world for everyone.  But, how do I know what is better?  I have a natural talent for seeing what is working in a complex system and what is not working.  And, I am not shy about allow consciousness voice all of this through me.  Lately, I've made the attempt to claim more of it as my own.  But, I do so somewhat in the blind.  For consciously, I do not sense that I am creating all of this.  More and more, however, there is a sense of familiarity, a sense that this could indeed be coming forth from a deeper part of me.

28 May 2008

Another busy day!  It seems that they may all be like that with the recent organizational change at work.  That's OK.  Busy is good.  It makes the work day fly by anyway.  And, there is always the evening to write.  Two hours of my free time each work day is not a lot to expect.  This expression after all is the most important activity of my day.  What is expressed here has the potential to be eternal, or at least to remain long after I have departed the planet anyway.  Whether it will do so or not, only spirit knows, and only time will tell.  What matters at the moment is that I bring it forth as often and as quickly as I can.  What happens after that is not in my hands.  Interesting.  But, that is indeed how I feel.  It is consciousness that is expressing here.  She knows why she is expressing and to whom.  Here and now, to whom seems to only be me.  But, I have no idea as to how this expression affects others in unseen realms.  Clearly, consciousness herself knows what has been expressed here.  She also knows what she has moved me to post and where she has moved me to post it.  She also knows how to bring others to the material that has been posted ... by URL and by key words through various search engines.  In addition, some people have been moved to link their sites to Beyond Imagination, so there are so pathways from those sites to this material.  Ultimately, those who are meant to be exposed to this expression will be exposed to it one way or another.  It just seems that we should be doing things to make that easier.  Oh well, we will do such things when we are moved to do them.  That is how my life works.  I do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it.  Though, I can only move in the moment, in the NOW.  That is true not only for me, but for everyone.  Just noticed we have a 28:Man with the World in His Hands day in a 28 year.  That will happen 12 times this year.  This is the fifth time, but the first one that I have noticed.  There is something significant about 28.  This is the GOD number for me, not numerologically, but symbolically.  28 is also the second Perfect Number.  The first is 6.  The third is 496.  There are only around 33 known Perfect Numbers.  What makes it perfect is that the sum of the divisors equal the number.  1+2+3 = 6.  1+2+4+7+14 = 28. 

28 May 2008 = 28 + 21 + 28 = 77:The Falconer in the Tarot, also = CHRIST.  That makes it an interesting day as well.  I'm curious as to what energy will manifest on such an auspicious day.  It will be what it is.  What makes it special or not is the state of consciousness I am in.  Right now, I'm flying high again.  I've been doing so since the musings picked up again in early March.  These times can last for quite awhile as we saw in 2002-2003.  Whether that will be the case again or not, only time will tell.  Right NOW, it is perfect to be here expressing in the moment.  This is so much better than work.  Though, don't get me wrong, there are some parts of my job that I enjoy.  I just need to find ways to do these parts more of the time.  To some degree, that is within my control.  But, not completely.  There are meetings that must be supported that are difficult for me to support.  But, who said life has to be easy all of the time.  Sometimes our greatest challenges are our most important learning opportunities.  And, learning is much of what life is all about.  Actually, being is what life is all about.  And, if we are going to be, we might as well be the best that we can be.  Hmm ... an interesting question just came to mind.  Are all of us being the best that we can be every moment?  Can we ever be anything less than this?  This could indeed be true given our abilities, our awareness, and our circumstances.  That doesn't mean that things could not be better for us individually or for the collective.  It just means that in this moment, everything somehow is as it should be.  Something doesn't seem quite right about stating it in that way.  Should implies a sense of right or wrong.  And, we did not intend to convey that at all.  At some level, it is all alright ... yet, at the same time we can be moved to take action to make it better.  But, what constitutes better for society or for the world?  How are we to assess this?  What criteria are we to use to do this?  For me, better seems obvious when I see it.  I don't know what goes into something being better other than there being more elegance in how spirit is able to express through form.  Along with this, there is less misery and suffering.  There is more peace and love expressed.  There is more toleration of differences.  There is more respect of one another.  There is more creative expression.  There is more diversity.  All of these things characterize being "better".  All of these things are decisions we can make as individuals, and see the results collectively in our world.  We know that it is possible to live in this way.  There are groups of people who care deeply for one another and respect each other.  What these groups can do, we can choose to do on a larger scale.  In the end, it comes down to a willingness to share: to share what we have, to share what we think, to share what we feel, but most importantly to share whom we are.  All of these are choices that we can make at any time.  When we hoard instead of share, not only does the world suffer as a result ... we suffer.  We may not know how much we suffer, but all we have to do is look to the world around us to see it.  We see greed, hunger, homelessness, illness, misery, war, violence, hatred ... the list goes on and on.  We also see the abundance, health, happiness, peace, helpfulness, kindness, caring, acceptance, love ... the list goes on and on as well.  So, we know how to create all of the things on the later list.  Why don't we do it in a manner that makes it a part of the lives of far more people on the planet?  The bottom line is that collectively we are doing this ... it just takes time.  It does not seem to happen overnight.  Though each day, more and more people are won over to a new way of living.  Each day, the world becomes a better place to live in some way.  There is an evolution going on, a spiritually driven evolution.  The question is does spirit know where this evolution is taking us?  My sense is that the answer is NO.  This is a bold adventure that we are on collectively.  That we will evolve is certain.  But, whether we will be fit to live in the world that is evolving remains to be seen.  We are part of the world and the world is part of us.  Hmm ... how can that be?  How can parts be part of one another.  They can only be so if they are ONE.  We are the world!  There was a song to that effect popular in the 70's if I recall correctly.  I remember it being sung by many of the top vocal artists of the day.  It was truly inspirational in its lyrics and in how it was created.  It was a direct example of the power of cooperation in the creative process.  Unfortunately, we have not seen very many such examples in the world ... at least not of which I am aware.  But then, I am not very aware of what is happening outside of my world.  Though I have noticed several shows that try to find the best people at what they do and offer a big prize to the winner.  The Apprentice, American Idol, Hell's Kitchen, and So You Think You Can Dance are shows of this genre.  Each has been running for several season's.  Two of the shows offer a prize of $500K and $1M and associated fame.  The other two offer premiere job opportunities working for some of the best and brightest in the business.  It seems that there should be much more of this.  There should be such opportunities for the most creative among us to find their place in the universe.  Perhaps that is already happening in its own way.  But, even with my limited interactions with people, it does not seem that very many have risen to a level truly requiring the use of their talents and abilities.  If we could just harness the creative energies of people in ways that were more fun, the productivity would skyrocket and we would have a better world in no time.

So, what am I moved to do NOW?  Obviously, I am continuing to express this stream of consciousness.  Why?  Because that is what stirs my heart and soul in the way that nothing else does.  How long will that continue?  Today, for another hour or so.  And then, we see what tomorrow will bring.  That is how I live my life, one moment at a time ... paying attention to whatever my awareness is drawn to in each moment.  Is that the best way to live, or even a good way to live?  For me it is.  Indeed, for me it is the only way that I know.  Anything different would require planning ... something quite foreign to me.  Why should that be?  For many, planning and to do lists are a way of life.  I've experimented with such lists in the past when I had so many things to do at work that such lists were the only way to keep track of them.  But, I got tired of maintaining the lists.  Generally, when I get tired of doing something, I stop doing it.  As an Aries, I find it easy to start new things and to come up with new ideas.  Perhaps that is why this expression comes forth so naturally and fluently.  This is a bold new endeavor.  It has been from the very beginning and nothing about that has changed.  Though there have been times when there have been breaks in the expression, even breaks of several months.  Inevitably, the expression starts up again and excites me just as much if not more than before.  During the breaks, I find myself busy doing other things.  Sometimes I read, sometimes I watch TV or movies, sometimes I listen to the radio, sometimes I work around the house or at the cabin, sometimes I just veg out.  Somehow the time passes by until I am moved to express again.  It seems that the breaks are necessary to help recharge my batteries and to give me experiences that can then foster further expression.  Of late, I have been moved to read the works of others in addition to my own.  Though I much prefer my own.  There is something special about being moved by what has come forth from spirit through you.  There is something magical about it.  I can't get enough of it.  I try to put in at least half an hour of reading this expression daily.  Why should that be necessary?  Why should I have to read what has come forth through me to be able to recall it?  I don't know, that is just how it is.  At work, things are much the same.  I only remember specifics if I write them down, and even then I sometimes forget what I have done only to rediscover it days, weeks, months, or even years later.  Though, often I have a vague sense of having done something and even know where to go to look for it.  Both here and at work, what I create comes out in final form the first time.  Occasionally, I have to go back and redo something at work ... but, that is generally to incorporate the inputs of others.  I know that others do not work in this way.  They go through rough drafts to drafts to final documents.  This seems like an endless cycle of coordination that is foreign to my way of doing things.  Though, clearly my way is not the only way.  And, it may not even be a good way for many.  That is OK.  All that truly matters is that it works for me ... and that it does, in flying colors.  Why are we discussing all of this now?  Who knows.  As always with this expression, we follow wherever the stream of consciousness takes us.  Though, it is times like this when there is a stronger sense that I am actually creating this.  Though, having a sense is not the same as being conscious of how. 

What does it take to experience being a creator?  Being an observer is second hand now.  I do it almost continuously.  My attention is nearly always multitasked.  I  am aware of a great many things at the same time.  And, I am aware of being the observer, observing this awareness as well as all that I do.  It was not always like that.  Growing up I was inside the box, not really inside my body, but inside my mind.  In 1993, that changed as I experience going Beyond Mind ... and things were never the same again.  But, that is a good thing.  We would have it no other way.  Being aware of being aware is an important step ... perhaps the most important step to living a life of spirit.  We still haven't answered the question of what it takes to experience being a creator.  Though, it is something that we do every time that we come here to express.  Perhaps that is why I love it so.  Here, a stream of consciousness is given birth.  And, I am both the creator and the observer of that expression.  Interesting.  I haven't been moved to consider myself to be the creator of this expression before.  But, now, it seems right somehow.  This expression could not exist without me.  So, at the very least, I am its co-creator.  If the source within turns out to be a part of me as well, then both parents of this creation are ME.  Wouldn't that be a kick after all of these years?  Though, it is not clear that such would change the nature of this expression one iota.  Even as I wrote that, it was obvious that it was not true.  Everything I do, everything I learn, everything I experience, everything that I feel, changes the nature of this expression.  The only thing that doesn't change is that it remains a stream of consciousness.

29 May 2008

Wow.  That makes it three extremely busy days in a row.  That is good overall, but not so good for this expression as work time encroaches on my free time.  Oh well, sometimes it is like that.  We do what we have to do.  The job has its ups and downs.  Of late, more ups than downs.  There is a sense that I am making a difference, that I am working in a way that uses more of my abilities.  That is always fun, even if it gets hectic at times.  Then, there is always this expression for release.  Here I unwind and allow consciousness full reign to take me where she will.  Most of this is effortless.  I said most, because there are times when my mind goes blank and I have to stop for awhile.  Generally, it is few moments, but sometimes it can be longer.  Overall, it seems that so long as I am willing to allow consciousness to express, I find that she has something to say through me.  However, I have no clue as to what that will be prior to it coming forth.  It still amazes me that the process works in this manner.  But, we've been doing this going on 16 years.  There is no denying that it happens.  It definitely challenges all my concepts of what consciousness, reality, and reality creation are all about.  That is good.  It is good for our all of our concepts to be challenged now and then.  For, concepts are another term for beliefs.  And, these may be right or not right, true or not true, valid or not valid.  They should only be judged based on their utility in our lives.  Do they serve us and those whose lives we touch.  If not, it is time to find some that do.  There are many beliefs out there to choose from.  It is a matter of finding the ones most suitable to us.  We will know what these are ... they will fit us like a glove.

The constant question: what am I moved to do next?  Immediately, the answer is to express here, just as I am doing NOW.  This is the answer every evening during the work week.  But, what else am I moved to do?  That is a harder question to answer.  Though the response that comes to mind is simple ... I am moved to do what I do.  That embodies everything that I do.  There is nothing outside of or beyond this.  I am what I am.  That is enough.  I am perfect as I am.  But, these statements don't apply solely to me.  They apply to everyone equally.  There is nothing that any of us do that we are not moved to do.  Though, this says nothing about the motive force.  Yet, the motive force for everything is spirit.  Everything is spirit in expression.  There simply is nothing else.  Good/Evil, they are both spirit.  Light/Darkness, both spirit as well.  Though, some might say the later of both of these pairs simply is not real.  Yet, how do we account for the fact that people experience them?  That's simple too.  We watch movies and become so involved in what we are watching that we believe them to be real yet we know they are not.  Do we truly know that our lives are more than a glorified movie?  Yes, it happens in more dimensions and over a longer time span, but is it truly any more real?  Perhaps, but perhaps not.  Is anything that we experience REAL?  What does it mean to be real?  The first answer that comes to mind is to be authentic, to be whom we truly are.  But how do we do that?  How do we simply BE?  This is not something that we are taught.  The focus is always on being something.  But something is not what we are, rather it is typically something that we do.  I am a lawyer, a doctor, an engineer, an artist, a dancer, a writer, a homemaker, a carpenter, a priest, a scientist, a politician ... these all define being someone that does something.  They are occupations that we have, they don't define who we are.  Nothing defines who we are.  How can you define something that is formless and timeless?  The bottom line is that you can't.  What you can do is experience being aware of what you do.  It is not yet clear to me how you experience what you are.  Even awareness seems to be a thing.  Things have form and exist in time.  Is consciousness of the same nature?  She is able to create forms and express through those forms.  But, what witnesses all that she does, all that she expresses?  Our consciousness is that witness.  But, can consciousness ever be separate?  There is only ONE consciousness.  But, there are many focuses through which consciousness sees and experiences "reality".  We are each one of those focuses, one of the facets of the diamond of consciousness.  But, how do we make this practical?  What can we do with it to enhance our lives and the lives of those we touch?  We start seeing ourselves for what we are, as a focus of the ONE consciousness.  Because we are part of the ONE, we are connected to everything, everywhere, over all time.  We learn what it takes to change our focus, and to change our awareness of ourself.  By doing so, we become an enhanced vessel through which consciousness can express and experience.  Each "enhancement" improves something not only locally, but globally as well.  We find ways to join with others in mutual endeavors.  In so doing, we build greater forms, greater structures through which spirit can express.  Here, synergy comes into play.  The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  How much synergy depends on how the group is created.  Just think in terms of the organs in the body.  Groups of cells cooperate to create structures with functions that are not inherent in any of the parts.  The various functions exist to serve the whole body, and such is what they do willingly for long periods of time despite the fact that most of the individual cells die every 7 years or so.  In society, a similar example is the government.  The monarchy in England has existed for over a thousand years though no individual King or Queen reigned for very long.  Similarly, the basic Constitution of the government of the US has remained the same since its inception over 200 years ago despite the fact that Presidents typically serve only 4-8 years.  Though the government has grown tremendously in that time to serve the needs of the populous and to function in an increasingly complex world.  Our bodies have not been as adaptive as our organizations.  They are biological machines that became what they are through an evolutionary process that measures time in thousands of years, not lifetimes.

Interesting, but where is all of this leading?  The bottom line is that I never really know.  It just comes out as it does.  That has to be enough.  For, that is all there is.  I don't know what it would be like if I had to try to create something on my own.  Even at work, much that I do is automatic.  It just comes forth, generally in final form.  Most of my work is immediate.  I get those things that I need to provide a context in front of me, and then generate what needs to be generated.  Generally, it is something that I am moved to generate.  Usually it is free form, though often I think in terms of outlines and then fill in the details.  I switch contexts often.  But, always, I need enough information to provide a context in order to act.  This expression is a little different.  Only two works started with tables of contents ... the Beyond Imagination book and Reality Creation 1010.  Everything else has been stream of consciousness.  Why?  Because that is as it is meant to be.  How do I know that?  Because that is how it happened and things in my world happen as they are meant to happen when they are meant to happen.  Is what is true for me true for everyone.  Perhaps, but not necessarily.  There is room in the universe and in the world for great varieties of experience.  I am only one person.  And, I have shared my life with few others.  Further, my knowledge of others is highly limited, so I have little clue as to what they experience and how they experience it.  Will that change?  It seems that it needs to if I am to help build foundations in which spirit can more fully express through them.  Then again, one doesn't need to understand how people experience things to be able to understand the laws of nature.  And, one needs only a limited understanding of how the body and brain function for technology to build things that are useful to people.  Why should the laws for the expression of spirit in flesh be any different?  They may be more complex, but probably not overly so.  Then again, are there even such laws?  Does the expression of consciousness ever limit itself in such a way?  Good questions.  There are religious laws, but these are more of the nature of moral codes.  I don't consider these to be particularly spiritual.  I think in terms of exploring the unknown realms of consciousness.  Science has essentially done this for the physical world ... actually even further if you consider life sciences such as biology, sociology, psychology and the like.

2 June 2008

We've already made it into June.  We've been musing nearly four times per week for eight weeks.  The musings have had a different character than those of prior years.  They have been more influenced by what I have been reading than I remember happening before.  That is OK.  It is good to have quality inputs from time to time.  And, it is interesting to see how quickly they can be reflected in what is expressed.  The pace continues to be good ... exceeding 1000 words per hour.  I'm happy with that.  I could possibly type a little faster, or stop to pause less frequently ... but I'm probably coming close to my limit for expressing in this manner.  With a two hour commitment per day, we are talking about 8000 words per week.  That comes to nearly 2.5 pages of expression per day, or 10 pages per week.  In book form, that is nearly 25 pages per week.  That yields enough material for a big book every four months ... or three times per year.  That is a similar volume of musing to what occurred in 2002-2003, only then I was expressing every 9 out of 10 days, and the expression was significantly slower.  Not that such comparisons mean anything.  What matters is what is expressed in each moment.  And, whatever that is, is perfect for that moment.  If it needed to be different, it would be different.  I express as I am moved to express, when I am moved to express.  Nothing more and nothing less.  But, what happens to the expression once it comes forth.  Of late, I am the only one reading it.  Clearly, it is for my eyes only ... and through consciousness seeing through my eyes.  Interesting.  Does consciousness need to see this expression through me to know that it got forth into the physical realm?  Perhaps she does.  It is not enough for consciousness to know what energy was sent.  Here, we need to see what energy was received.  And that, is contained in or at least pointed to by these words.  That is just the way that it is in my life anyway.  I don't know how others experience such things.  Perhaps I never will.  As a reader, I can only know the final form of what got put into the books that I read.  I don't begin to think that I understand how other writers write.  The creative process is different for us all.  Here, I consider this stream of consciousness to be highly creative ... the most creative activity that I participate in.  But, it is not so clear that I am creative as I participate.  I consider source to be creative.  But, I don't yet know source to be me.  Interesting how that was stated.  It implies that source is me and that I may indeed know that some day.  When?  The answer to when is always NOW.  Everything happens in the infinite moment.  There is no past, there is no future, there is only NOW.  And, right now, there is only this expression.  Literally nothing else matter in this moment, nothing.  That is true of every moment.  What we are doing, what we are thinking, and what we are being HERE and NOW define us.  They determine our destiny, or at least that part of our destiny that can be controlled by us.  This is true in every moment of our existence, even when we are sleeping.  Interesting, rarely do I experience any recall of what is happening when I am sleeping, yet I spend nearly one-third of my life in that state.  There is no conscious awareness of that part of my life.  You might say that was true of much of my days as well.  Though I consider myself more aware than most, I still spend a significant amount of my time asleep, or fighting sleep as it were.  Sometimes I am doing busy work that keeps me occupied, but not fully engaged.  At times the work is both busy and engaging, sometimes even enlightening.  Though, those times are generally saved for this expression.  Nothing moves me like this does.  Nothing commands my attention like this does.  Nothing challenges my beliefs regarding whom that I am like this does.  That makes this expression worth its weight in gold as they say.  Though wh