Another day in which to
muse. We have a lot of ground to make up for this month.
Whether we do that or not remains to be seen. In fact, at this
point it seems quite unlikely. I never seem to find the time or
the energy to write when I go home. So, we shall remain here and
force the issue. Once again, it was a very tiresome day.
Too many meetings, most of which I was not enthused about. Then
again, these days there is not much that enthuses me. My life is
far too boring. What would I do to liven it up? Since age
16 in 1974, metaphysics has been the one constant that I could count on
to excite me. Now, it seems, even that has a limited
effect. Reading has become more of a chore than a joy, partly due
to eyesight but mainly due to content. I am not finding material
that is bold and new as I did for so many years. And, people are
not appearing in my life with whom to build the foundations for a new
world. By now, I believed that we woulld be much further along
than we are. We would have established a community of
lightworkers. What went wrong? Why was the dream not
manifest? Was I not specific enough regarding what was
desired? Did I not allow spirit to express through me as fully as
I might have? Why did I not impose my will much more forcefully
to manifest this dream? The Beyond Imagination book written the
final quarter of 1993 described many of the foundations for creating a
utopian society. Yet, unlike other utopias ... this one seemed to
be well within our collective grasp. At least, to the degree one
who spends most of his time alone could determine.
OK, what would I do now. There is a sense that writing is no
longer enough. I must take action consistent with my beliefs and
my knowingness, action that I have been unwilling to take until now,
action that requires the employment of my will to do as it would.
My will and Thy Will are ONE. It can be no other way. But,
until we realize this, we act inappropriately - not by the standards of
others but by our own standards. There is much to be done and so
few with sufficient awareness to lead and to guide those who need
direction and assistance. To be of service in the incoming age,
one must be willing to offer of yourself to those in need of what you
specifically have to give. That is not everyone. That is
not even a sizeable fraction. Yet, each of us can touch the lives
of others in meaningful ways. It is the interactions between us
that give our lives meaning. Interesting thing for one who is
basically a hermit to say. Interesting indeed. But that
doesn't take away from its truth.
Why am I this tired again? There must be a reason. The
sense is that somehow it is time to move on again. We've been
here for nearly a decade. That is as long as I've ever been
anywhere in my entiire life. Yes, it is indeed time for a
dramatic change. But, how do I execute such a change? We
have been through many transformations in the past 13 years. I
would like to think that we have many years to go and many more
transformations to experience.
2 May 2006
It has been nearly a week
since I last found time to sit down and write. I miss it when I
don't do it. But, I've been so tired of late that it is hard to
find the energy to do what it takes to do this. And, unless I am
moved by spirit, I don't force the issue. Many words have come
through this vessel since March 1993, when the expression began.
Can it really be that long ago? It is difficult remembering what
life was life BBI = Before Beyond Imagination became an integral part
of my life. It seems that more should have come from all of this
by now. I can't believe that I have not yet found other kindred
spirits to work with. But, such indeed is the case. I still
operate primarily solo, as the hermit, hoping to shed my light upon a
world in need. But, will that ever happen? At times, I have
been certain that it would. But, what I would choose as my way,
is not necessarily what spirit intends. And, it is my desire to
do her bidding not mine. Why? Why do I not accept that my
will is spirits will as well? Why am I so unwilling to exert
myself and take a stance, especially when it comes to things that I
want? Want is an interesting word. So long as we continue
to want, we will be "in lack of", by definition. So, how do we
move to a world where there are only choices, where want does not
exist? If I can ask the question, I am ready to receive the
answer. It is just a matter of being open to it.
BBI = 229 = 22:The Master Builder 9:The Hermit. However,
until Beyond Imagination began, there was no BBI. Yes and
no. Since all time is simultaneous, that is a limitation of our
experience, not reality. So, how does choice and free will fit
into the picture? If time is simultaneous, then it seems that all
patterns and choices would already be mapped out and made. Our
life is a matter of experiencing these choices and applying meaning to
what we experience both in the world and internally. We are
meaning making machines. Some seem to be able to do this better
than others. But, that is a matter of level of consciousness and
unique abilities. We don't expect students in different grades to
learn and know the same things. Rather, we structure their
learning so that it progresses from grade to grade. Similarly, in
the school of life, we have grades or levels. No level is
"higher" or "better" than another. They simply are what they
are. I don't profess to know what these levels are. I only
know that my experience is that my consciousness goes through many
death experiences from which it emerges more whole and integrated than
it was before. I expect such experiences and rejoice in
them. They are in many ways the most important part of my life.
BB looks like 13 13, with the 1 slightly overlapping the 3. That
is 13:Death 13:Death 9:The Hermit = The double major
transformation of the Hermit, the mit of Her = the glove that she
(consciousness) wears. 1993 was a pivotal year in my life.
It truly was a year of spiritual rebirth that was unprecedented in the
first 34 years of my life. I still can't explain why me and why
then, though several symbol systems have confirmed that this was indeed
the right timing and in many respects, I had no real choice but to
allow it to unfold as it did and to learn as much as I could in the
process. Learn may not be the right word - rather re-member = put
the members together again. I've spent the past 13 years finding
more of myself and incorporating that into my concept of Self and of
SELF. Much of this has been done solely through the guidance of
consciousness herself. Here, we allow a stream of consciousness
to flow and we observe what it tells us. The words are not
random. The thoughts are not disjointed or jumbled. There
is a cohesiveness and a clarity to what is expressed that seems rare to
find. Then why has it not found an audience? Why has it not
attracted kindred spirits? Perhaps it is because they too are
expressing spirit as they are moved to do and the time for joining in
efforts is not quite upon us. However, it could also be because
we are not pursuing what we desire to make so strongly enough.
For dreams to become reality, it takes effort. I was going to say
work, but that does not seem to be the right word for spiritual
endeavors. Though we do speak of great works of art. And,
what is it that makes something great? It is the amount of love
that goes into the enterprise. Hmm ... is love something that can
be quantified in such a manner? The greatest love of all is
unconditional love of SELF = the ONE = All That Is. The greatest
work of all is doing that which we love to do to the best of our
abilities in a manner that serves others.
3 May 2006
What is in store for today's
musing? I never really know until I allow it to come forth.
Interesting how that works. But, that is the way that it
is. I should be able to find time to muse over the next several
days since I'm taking vacation through the end of Monday and I have few
chores to do and no real plans. We'll just have to see how much I
am moved to express. This could be like a test. Free time
is very precious, but only if we treat it as such. Every moment
counts, but how much is dependent on what we do with it. Life
allows us to do what we will. The very universe contributes to
our actualization of what we choose to experience both individually and
collectively. A host of forces are unleashed to do our
bidding. But, we must bid them to do what we would have them
do. Here, it is important not to get stuck with the manner in
which these forces do their work. They will find a way that works
and that is in the greatest interest of all concerned. We can
desire outcomes. We can even expect them. However, we
cannot demand them. It is best to leave some things to spirit to
resolve and to finalize.
What would I do next. It seems that I am biding my time, waiting
for something wonderful to happen in my life that takes me out of my
present circumstances into an entirely different set of
circumstances. But, there is a sense that I should be doing
something to facilitate this as well. I've been trying to think
of new options and new directions in which to take my life.
However, I haven't been successful to date. That doesn't mean
that I won't be ... just that the time hasn't been right yet. I
trust that there are other than conscious forces at play in my life
moving me to where I need to be when I need to be there. Such is
my way anyway. It may or may not be appropriate for others.
My life needs to be open ended. There is no room for plans with
rare exceptions. There is a freedom in living like this.
But there is also an inefficiency due to a lack of organization.
Creativity doesn't acknowledge a schedule. It unfolds and
produces as it will. Though, often this is at a heightened
pace. When we get lost in our true work, time expands somehow to
accommodate everything that needs to get done and needs to be
expressed. At least, such is how it works in my life. And,
I find it difficult to believe that I am alone in this.
3/5/2006 = 3 + 5 + 26 = 34 = 2 x 17:The Star. Yesterday we saw
102 as 6 x 17:The Star.
17
/ \
17 --------------------- 17
\
/
\ /
/
\
/ \
17 --------------------- 17
\ /
17
That is an interesting form of the Star
of David. Each triangle has a weight of 51:King of Swords.
Hmm ... my number is 16:The Lightning Struck Tower. If we
subtract one from each vertice and put the excess in the center, we
have:
16
/ \
16 --------------------- 16
\ / 6
\ /
/
\
/ \
16 --------------------- 16
\ /
16
This has some interesting characteristics. 6 is The Lovers.
Each triangle has a weight of 48:The Man in Search of More. From
the middle through each vertice, we have 22:The Master Builder.
Each line through opposing vertices and the center totals 38:The Q of
Cups = VISION. Each face to the world has 3 x 16 = 48:The Man in
Search of More with 6:The Lovers behind it. 48 + 6 = 54, the
number for LOVE.
Something also suggest to drop the vertices to 13:Death.
13
/ \
13 --------------------- 13
\ / 2
\ /
/ \ 4
/ \
13 --------------------- 13
\ /
13
That puts 24:Q of Wands in the middle. 24 + 13 = 37 = K of Cups =
"spirit". 13 + 24 + 13 = 50:Utopia on Earth. 39 = Knight of
Cups = Peace. 6 x 13 = 78 = Tarot Completion.
But 6 and 24 can be expressed as Stars of David with vertices of 1 and
4 respectively. 1 is the Magician. 4 is the Emperor.
Something I noticed earlier comes to mind. VISION reversed is NO
IS IV = no is 4 = not the Emperor. Somehow that seems to be the
main message for today. The emperor is associated with the Death
of 102 = The Star of David of 17:The Star. 16:The Tower is an
even more powerful transformation. In this case, one that brings
forth the Lovers and the first community. For that is what the
Star of David represents, community.
So far we have only played with equilateral or equi-vertice
manipulations here. But, this opens a whole new realm of
measuring how close a system is to being "perfect" ... where perfect is
defined by symmetry and the nature and ratios/sums of the component
parts. This is a different type of math. We are looking for forms
and numbers that in turn have innate meaning. And, we find them
by giving our consciousness free reign to make associations between
diverse fields of knowledge. Many of these associations or
connections are intuitive. That does not make them random.
It just means that we don't necessarily know how they are produced by
our minds. They might even be received for all that we know.
Are these lucid connections that I am making? Or, am I starting
to lose my grip on reality a bit? Then again, what is reality
really? How do we know that we experience anything in the same
way as others ... or even close to what they experience? Others
are part of my world for only a small fraction of each day. Even
when we are in the same meetings, we are not really fully present to
one another. No wonder my consciousness wanders so much that I
find it hard to stay focused or even awake at times. I much
prefer an inner world where my fate is in my own hands ... or more
correctly in spirits hands.
22 December 2006
It has been quite awhile since
our last musing. I remember starting to write several months ago,
but a computer virus caused the loss of over a half dozen
musings. Oh well, that happens sometimes. Anyway, I am
moved to come here and express what spirit would express through me
this day. It is two days past the thirteenth anniversary of
completing the Beyond Imagination book. I still find that hard to
believe. The book has been posted on the WWW since 1995, yet
there have probably been fewer than two dozen people who have provided
any feedback on it, even though the page has over 3000 hits. Why
was I moved to write the book, moved to make it available on the WWW,
and even self-publish the work? It seems that the ideas expressed
therein are meant to have an audience. I thought that this was in
spirits hands. "If you build it, they will come". I thought
this applied to the Beyond Imagination site. Actually, I still do
... though it seems that the timeline for this happening is much
greater than I had imagined. That, too, is OK. We are to do
what we are moved to do without concern for the results. These
are in spirits hands when we are doing spirits work ... that is, when
we are allowing spirit to work through us.
Christmas is less than three days away as I write this. Yet the
world is far from at Peace. Why is that? Why is the world
that we have imagined still beyond our grasp? Why am
I still operating as essentially a loner and a hermit? Is this my
true nature? Or, is this a mask that I have chosen to wear that
isolates me from the world. It seems that I have taken being an
observer of life to an extreme, rather than being an active
participant. But, what is it that I truly want. I enjoy the
company of others to some degree, but I would have it my way. I
get bored easily by routine. My life is not meant to fit into a
mold. I came to be a wayshower. But to do that, I must do
more than observe, I must act. One such act is the very act of
creation that happens here. I can choose to allow this expression
to flow forth. I haven't been doing so much of late, but that can
change. 2007 is a new year. It takes us to 27, the pause or
space that comes after the letters and allows them to separate to
convey their meaning in a more direct way. Though, it also helps
to have punctuation. Perhaps that is what 2008 and 2009 will
bring. 27 = 3 x 3 x 3. This reminds me of the scene on a
Babylon-5 episode where Delenn goes through a ritual that results in
the makeup of the grand council going from 3:Worker, 3:Religious,
3:Warrior to 5:Worker, 2:Religious, 2:Warrior. The Religious and
Warrior castes had taken the country into civil war with their
differences. Her steps ensured that this would never happen again
by making the Religious and Warrior castes subservient to the People,
the Workers. It seems that such is the kind of change that we
need in the world to achieve peace. The religious extremists are
far too powerful, as is the military, the warrior arm of the
governments of the world. The result is fear, war, poverty,
misery, etc ... What does it take to right this. We, the
people of the world need to take back our power. We need to turn
our warriors into peacekeepers rather than war makers.
Governments are meant to serve us, not the other way around. The
same thing goes for the economic system. Why is it that more
people don't realize this? Why are people content with the status
quo? Why are people still focused on ME rather the WE, where in
this case, as the song says WE are the World. How can we neglect
the conditions in which our brothers and sisters in the world
live? Even in this country, how can we tolerate poverty,
homelessness, and hunger especially for children and especially at this
time of the year? Lots of questions. That I have to still
ask them 13 years after the Beyond Imagination book was completed is
somewhat disappointing. I was hoping that change would happen far
more rapidly than that. Then again, I also didn't think that I
would make it to see the year 2000, and here we are nearly to 2007.
I'm looking forward to the next few months. In high school, in
1972, I discovered that 2007 had a special significance for me.
My birthday lands on Easter. Further, this is a rare
occurance. At the time, I checked from 1750-2150. The only
occurances were in 2007 and then 2012, 35 and 40 years away at the
time. Now, the first of these dates is almost here. There
is a sense that there will be a death and a rebirth far beyond anything
that I have yet experienced. Am I prepared to deal with such an
event? Thus far in my life, consciousness herself has always
ensured that I was ready. I have no reason to doubt her
now. Besides, there is a sense that such events are
destined. This one was set up by the very day that I was
born. That I would discover it to be significant places a
different nuance on things. After all, roughly 0.3 percent of the
population have birthdays on April 8. In this country alone, that
is roughly 100,000 people. I would be surprised if even a dozen
place any significance on this "coincidence" regarding Easter.
"Let There Be Peace On Earth, and Let It Begin With Me" plays as I
write this now. That could be the theme song for Beyond
Imagination. Actually, that is not quite right. John
Lennon's song "Imagine" is closer. In both cases Beyond
Imagination is about creating the foundations that enable spirit to be
more fully expressed in flesh. What makes me think that I can do
this? By myself, I cannot. But spirit working through us
collectively can literally work miracles. And miracles are what
Christmas should be about. I almost said "is all about" but the
commercialism of the season came to mind. What does it take to
achieve Peace on Earth? That is the trillion plus dollar
question. There are many people who benefit from the status
quo. In particular, those who are most powerful and
wealthy. Though, terrorists place a wrinkle in this. When
you don't play by the rules, you can wield more power than is yours by
station. How do we reconcile this? To have peace, we
must eliminate not only war but terror. What conditions lead to a
world where people are desperate enough to literally blow themselves up
to inflict damage to others? Surely, this is against the basic
principles of most religions. Yet, people acting in such manner
consider there acts "rightous". Even those who go to war, fight
for god and country. It seems that we need to rethink how the
world is organized. Cultural diversity makes for an interesting
world. But, at what cost? Poverty is wrong ... especially
when we have the technology and the means to do something about
it. Just as we are to be good stewards of the world, we are
to be friends, neighbors, and caregivers to one another. Why is
it so hard for us to realize this?
What can one person do? Far more than you might think. We
interact with others who interact with others who in turn interact with
others and so on. Just as a pebble tossed into a still pond
causes a ripple that eventually encompasses the whole pond ... so your
actions impact the pond that is your world. But, what if the pond
is not still? The effect still occurs, only it may not be as
visible. This is what meditation and other disciplines of the
soul bring ... stillness, that you may be aware of what you do and how
that impacts both you and the reflection of you that constitutes the
world that you know. We could have just said "the world".
But, that would not have conveyed the same thing. The world is a
mirror. You can only see in it aspects of you. If you want
a better world - a kinder, gentler world then become a kindler, gentler
you. It is that simple, and that difficult.
It's amazing that these words can continue to flow in this
manner. It's as if I do this everyday. And, for much of
2002 and 2003, that is exactly what I was doing. To what end you
might ask? That is not for me to answer or even to know.
Why any of us do what we do is ultimately a mystery. We may
believe ourselves to be logical, or emotional, or even spiritual.
But, we are a combination of these, and we never know exactly what
combination is at play. That is OK. Life is meant to be a
mystery. If it could be explained, it would not be life.
That is not to say that we cannot learn things about how it manifests
and how it operates. But, it seems that such knowledge will
always be fuzzy at best. Take this very expression for
example. As I type, I have no idea of what word will come
next. I hear it in my head a moment before I type it and I watch
to see whether it is coming through right. At best, there is a
lose sense of correctness. There is no sense of direction or
organization. That is left for consciousness to take care
of. She knows exactly what she is doing. I have the
pleasure of going along for the ride, of surfing the unknown realm of
consciousness as she brings forth all of this. To me, this is
great fun. It is particularly important that it is captured in
this manner so that not only I but others can find it and experience
it. That is what a stream of consciousness is all about. It
is like going down a river on a raft. Some rivers are gentle,
some have rapids, and some even have falls that you have to maneuver
around. This seems to be a relatively gentle stream. But
then, I experience it from a perspective that includes 35 years of
metaphysics. Your experience might be far different. Then
again, something brought you here, now, to experience this stream.
Given that I am not creating this consciously, how does it come
forth? Great question. Some force must be doing this.
Either we have innate capabilities that we are not consciously aware of
that are far more capable than we imagined or there is indeed an
external source that somehow comes forth from within. By
external, I mean a source that is not me, that is somehow beyond
me. Interesting, I consider the source to be external but
within. It doesn't come from
the outside world. It comes from a completely different
realm. As an extreme introvert, most of my life is lived in an
inner realm. But this source is a connection made in this inner
realm. Since 1993, it has always been there ... ready to express
whenever I was moved to sit down to type. However, the source has
been there all of my life, expressing primarily through intuition and
direct knowingness prior to the beginning of the Beyond Imagination
expression in Mar 93. Speaking of Mar 93, this quote from that
time faces me in my office:
Write what you
know! Never doubt!
Beliefs are you
allies. Use them as the wonderful tools that they are. But,
don't mistake beliefs for Truth -- remain flexible.
Look for
confirmation of veracity, but don't demand proof -- for the very nature
of reality creation is fuzzy, you are at play in the fields of the
Lord; a creator manifesting, experiencing, and trying to understand and
analyze your life and beingness; all at the same time.
How is it that I have the presence of mind to "know" all of this?
Much of what is expressed is beyond anything that I have learned in
this existence. Much of what is expressed is declarative.
There are no conditions offered. There are no alternatives
given. Let utility be your guide. Do not except something
as gospel simply because it comes through this channel. Trust
your own inner knowingness to know what is right for you. Feel
free to use anything that you find. But, as the guidance states,
"Never doubt!" Doubting effectively cancels out the belief that
you are applying. Rather than doubt, be open, observe, and choose
whether you like the results that come from a new belief. Beware
of conflicting beliefs, however. These muddy experience making it
far less predictable. Also, be open to the universe providing
results in a manner that is other than you have imagined. Spirit
knows better than you what is in your own best interest and the
collective best interest. If you listen to her and do what she
moves you to do, your life will benefit in numerous ways. The
trick is doing what she moves you to do. Sometimes this requires
learning the difference between what she is moving you to do and what
you want to do. It is worth doing what it takes to learn this
difference.
What would I do next? There is a strong sense that I am not fully
living up to my potential. By most accounts, I am successful,
both on the inside and the outside. However, happiness is still
illusive. Though, our forefathers only said we had an
inalienable right to pursue happiness ...
not necessarily to find it. Happiness is a state of mind.
However, it seems to be a fleeting state for most. Yet, there are
exceptions. There are examples of people who are genuinely
happy. And, they are not necessarily the people with the most or
the finest things. For me, there is a problem with associating
happiness with contentment. As the 48:The Man in Search of More,
there will always be an unknown to explore that drives me to become
more than I AM. Yes, AM in capitals.
As a nation, the United States is still a youngster on the scene,
having been around only 230 years. By comparison, some countries
such as Iraq (Persia), Egypt, and China have been around for thousands
of years. There cultures are ancient by comparison. They
have had time to work out relationships and develop cultures that we
don't seem to perceive as of value in the present world. My sense
is that we are missing some of the nuances of living in our fast-paced,
everchanging, hectic country. We think that what we experience is
what the world experiences as well, but this is nowhere near the
case. Yes, some of the technology makes its way to other places
in the world. But, many things don't -- primarily due to iniquity
of economic conditions. It still doesn't make sense to me how an
hour worth of labor can vary by many orders of magnitude in cost.
Work is work. Working with ones hands is no easier than working
with ones head. People doing the same job in a different country
don't deserve less pay for doing it. But, the economy works first
to benefit the company via profits. Maximizing profits means
minimizing labor costs. Fairness is determined by whatever the
workers are willing to accept. Is that truly fair? My sense
is no, it isn't. Yet, how do we come up with something that is
fair. One answer is for the people who do the work to own the
companies that they work for. They need to be their own
employers, or at least have a sizeable enough share in the company that
they act as owners as well as workers. Further, people need to do
things that they are good at doing. Otherwise, we lose
effectiveness and the whole process suffers. It is not clear that
we need as many things as we have available to us. While variety
is the spice of life, one can have too much of a good thing. It
seems that moderation is called for to some degree. Yes, that
smacks of limitation. Shouldn't we live in an abundant
world? Why can't we have whatever we can imagine. The
bottom line is that we can, if we share! But, if this is all an
elaborate drama being played out on a holodeck of sorts, why can't we
just speed up the clock and reduce the time from imagination to
realization? The problem is how do we do so without bumping into
others who may not be ready to move so quickly.
Hmm ... this brings to mind thoughts regarding dimensions and probable
realities. Physical dimensions could overlap, meeting at
intersection points that allow us to live on the same world just with a
different frequency or vibration. We do this with context
switches on computer systems, allowing different programs (different
simulations) to run in different time slices. As long as the
refresh rate is fast enough, it appears continuous to us.
Actually, fast enough is relative as well. If we are only alive
during whatever time slices we get, our now appears continuous to
us. Our senses are predisposed to detect differences. In
fact, we highlight them. Our very world is one of differences,
though it is composed of a set of atoms that we consider to be the
building blocks of all matter. Yes, we know that there are
smaller building blocks that make up atoms and that these and the
resulting atoms are fuzzier than we had ever dreamed. Reality
creation is about making choices ... about choosing what reality we
will experience from the myriad of probable realities. How this
occurs is a mystery. Though, more and more scientists are coming
to the conclusion that the quantum field does collapse to create the
reality that we experience. It is interesting that mystics have
known this for ages, only in their own terms.
Musings
of a Spiritual Warrior
=== 2007 ===
3 January 2007
Wow! The first musing of a new year. We'll have to see what
comes forth. This is the first time that I've chosen to muse from
home for quite some time. Hopefully, that will become a habit
this year. I so love this expression. It is too bad that I
can't find a way to do this on a full time basis. For that, we
would need either a large audience or a benefactor. I'm not sure
how to go about attracting either. Further, it is not clear that
such is spirits direction for expression through me. It is not
what I want that matters. Spirit knows what is needed for the
best of all concerned. In the meantime, I am still learning what
I need to learn to be able to more fully express and serve
spirit. That is enough for the present. How long that
remains to be the case remains to be seen. Life has a way of
working itself out. At least, it has always been thus in my life
to date. However, there is something Tony Robbins says -- "the
past does not equal the future". There is room for change.
There is always room for fresh and new experience. That is what I
am in search of now. New experience demands new beliefs and new
choices aligned with those beliefs. It is that simple, and that
complex. The bottom line is what do I choose to do? Right
now, I choose to come here to express. Here is where I believe
that I can make the most difference with my life. I believe that
even though I only catch rare glimpses of those who are impacted by
this material. What I am missing is the other than physical
connection, my link to the cosmic consciousness, to the collective
whole. What I experience, the whole experiences. Without my
experience, without my expression, there would be a hole in the
whole. This is not allowed. Each of us are here to play our
parts, to express whom that we are, and in so doing to express what
spirit would express through us. It doesn't matter what that
is. Whatever it is, is right for us. The universe is by its
very nature perfect. It is the perfect manifestation of spirit at
this time ... given the level of awareness and collective density of
the whole. That does not mean it is ideal. Several have
dreamed of utopias that might offer greater good for the constituent
members of society and the world. It is time for some of the
guiding principles of these utopias are realized, so that they can
serve as foundations for a new world. Principles are realized
when they are taken to heart and acted upon. But, how do we do
this in a mass way? How do we get many or even a few to cooperate
to create a new way of operating in the world? It is via
demonstration, via walking our talk, that we will ultimately impact
others. Spirit does not force things to happen. Her ways
are as subtle as the winds and the waters sculpting the earth.
The resulting fabric of society is just as rich, even more so.
What does one see from various perspectives? First, we see the
individuals and the great diversity between them. Diversity is
good. Though there needs to be some amount of common unity to
create communities. Though, even then, communities have
incredible diversity as well. Even when they operate by the same
rules in the same game such as many of our teams in sports, the teams
are blessed with a diversity that derives from the differences between
individuals. Where this is most apparent is in the performances
of the best of the best. Our virtuosos, our geniuses, our
superstars ... those at the extremes seem to define us as a
species. They write our greatest books, produce our greatest
movies, create our greatest art, think our greatest thoughts, generate
our greatest accomplishments etc ... They seem to do what mere
mortals, those with less talents or abilities, are unable to
accomplish. But, what truly makes them different or
special? Each of us is unique. Each of us has a combination
of abilities, talents, and experiences unlike any other. Each of
us has genius inside of us. It is for us to find it and find ways
to develop and express it. In general, we get better at something
via practice. But this only brings us to greatness if we have an
inherent ability in that area. That doesn't mean that practice is
not difficult. It can be. But, difficult things can still
be fun if we do them with the right attitude, knowing that they are
good for us.
Where does all of this come from? We've asked this many
times. The only answer that makes any sense is from spirit
herself. But, what does that answer really mean? Is spirit
not animating life everywhere? Is not all expression therefore
spiritual? Yes, all expression ... no fine print, no
exceptions. And, it follows that if it is spiritual, it is
ultimately good or for the good of something. What is ultimately
being expressed? Yes, individuals experience and express.
But, they do so in the context of various organizations - governmental,
educational, economic, spiritual, social, etc ... We participate
in organizations to get needs met - physical, emotional, mental, and
spiritual. Organizations may be as simple as 1-1
relationships. Actually, these themselves may be quite
complex. The world provides a context for experiencing our
relationship to one another and for discovering our oneness.
Organizations serve us by enabling us to collectively experience
more. It is not enough for us to experience the same
things. Diversity and limitations on time force us to choose what
we will experience and what as a result we will be able to create and
contribute. Never take more than you give is the guiding
principle that applies. It is through giving that we define
ourselves to the world. We can give in many ways - to family, to
friends, to colleagues and coworkers, to various communities of
interest, to our country, and even to the world. We can even give
to spirit herself. Or, more precisely, allow spirit to work
through us to do what she will in the world. How we give is our
choice. But, give we must do in order to live.
Hmm ... a thought just came to mind. Organizations have needs
too. They are entities in their own right. As such, they
are much like we are as individuals. They need nourishment to
grow ... different kinds of nourishment for different kinds of
organizations. They need a means to eliminate waste. It
helps if they can be arranged so that what is waste for one is
nourishment to the other as between the plant and the animal kingdom
(carbon dioxide <=> oxygen). There is a whole science for
building ecosystems. Here we are taking another step, one where
more than physical needs are at play. How do we make the
complexity manageable? It seems like we do this by becoming more
aware. If we had the awareness of Gaia, for instance, we would
have the collective knowledge of the earth and everything that is on
her - including all of the humans and the collective knowledge of their
organizations. I remember thinking about colleges in these terms
several years ago. By attending USC in 1979-1981 and Stanford in
1984-1985, I engaged in an experience that linked me with the wisdom of
these two institutions. The link was more than just via the
courses that I took and the few people that I met. The BSEE and
MSEE degrees that I earned document those links. But it is as if
there is now a new ancestry. It is curious to think in these
terms, especially for a loner such as me. Even my family was
isolated from both sides of what little family tree we knew
about. I have known that this expression would be my "children"
so to speak. This expression is my physical as well as mental
offspring. What will come of it, I do not know. I only know
that I must express. There truly is no other choice in this
matter.
Republic, MI and Freedom, PA are the hometowns of my mom and dad
respectively. I believe in a representative democracy and
complete individual freedom for those who have shown themselves to be
worthy of it. The condition was added to allow curtailment of
freedom in cases where individuals would choose to harm themselves of
others. Along with freedom must come responsibility. Hmm
... does that work for a republic as well? I have refused to vote
my entire life. I am basically apolitical. Yet, I do
believe that government has its purpose in society. I just don't
feel an obligation to become an informed citizen and vote. It
doesn't matter to me who wins and who loses. Whoever is meant to
be in the job will be selected. And, they will do what the
collective moves them to do, and what their role calls for them to
do. How can I be certain of this? Simply because that is
the way that I believe that the world works. We each have our
roles to play. Though, there is some freedom involved. We
make decisions in the moment. The path we follow is not
completely predestined, only loosely so. Within the field of
probabilities, we select what specific experiences we will have.
Most of the time, this occurs other than consciously. Perhaps it
can occur consciously. But, the question is why would we want it
to? What makes us think that we would be happier pursuing our own
destiny consciously than experiencing what spirit already has in store
for us? At least that would make our conscious acts aligned with
some type of purpose that we know.
Free will versus destiny, that is one question. But, does it have
to be that way? Cannot reality be a combination of both, and one
that varies over time at that? Can we have a destiny to fulfill
yet choice in how we fulfill it? In particular, do we choice in
how we feel as we fulfill our destiny. Do we always succeed in
fulfilling our destiny? If not, wouldn't it be other than
destiny? Is not destiny a destination that we must reach?
But, is not life a process, a journey and not a destination?
Enjoy the ride comes to mind. So does "live long and prosper"
from Star Trek. Also, the slogan "Live to Ride" from Harley
Davidson. My primary journey occurs here. My ride is one of
consciousness engaged in exploring the dimensions of herself. And
yes, this is what I live to do. More than anything else in my
life. I clearly don't live to work, though sometimes it seems
that way. And, I don't live to interact with others. My
relationships are few in this existence. Thus far, that has been
by choice and by mutual interest. There is a sense that this is
to change some day. But, I know not when. Ultimately, it
will depend on the degree to which I am to personally touch
others. At this point, it is not clear whether this will happen
through words alone or through personal presence.
I notice that I shake a lot of late. I don't feel cold.
Rather, it seems to have to do with something neurological. My
mind is putting my body on edge a bit. Something is not quite in
balance. That is not the only place where I feel that I am on the
edge. I feel that way with respect to my whole state of mind,
with my experience of consciousness. The body is simply
reflecting an inherent mental condition. Is that good or
bad? Nothing that I experience is bad. It is what it
is. It allows me to express as I do and be whom that I am.
Because of that, it is enough.
4 January 2007
Another day, another musing from home. I like it. It feels
good to express like this once again. We'll see what comes
through this evening. Work has been very hectic. But, there
is still time and energy to devote to this expression. Such is as
it must be. Despite the distractions of the day, this is my real
work. This is why I came to this planet, to be a part of this
world ... to observe, experience, and express whatever spirit would
express through me. All of my training, all of my experiences,
everything in my life has led me to this point. This is not only
true for me, but for everyone. The difference is a matter of
awareness and realization. I know that this is my calling, my lot
in life. I do it willingly, marvelling that such expression is
able to be created at all. Yet, here it comes forth, word after
word, idea after idea, seemingly without end. Indeed, there can
be no end to spirits bounty. Not every sentence is
"quotable". But, enough are such that I consider the material to
be quite rich. Whether others deem it so or not, I can only
guess. Regardless, that does not matter. Expression is its
own justification, especially creative expression. It matters not
what the format or medium is, creative expression turns it into
art. Hmm ... the phrase Arts and Sciences comes to mind,
illustrating the huge difference between these two domains, as if they
are mutually exclusive. In general, people in college get a BA or
a BS degree when they graduate.
What does life have in store? What does this year have in
store? For both of these questions I had "for me" in mind.
It seems that I always have that in mind. You might conclude that
this makes me selfish. And, perhaps you would be right.
But, I would argue that this is natural for one who is an
introvert. I spend a lot of time alone, a lot of time thinking
about who and what I am. Perhaps too much time. However,
there is a part of me that says that you can never spend too much time
on this, on knowing thyself. This was the motto above Plato's
Academy was it not, the Greek equivalent of Know Thyself. It is
through self-knowledge that we become all that we are capable of
becoming. Though, it takes more than knowing ... we must also
take action in accord with what we know. We must be congruent
with whom that we are. We do that by doing what we are moved by
spirit to do to the best of our abilities. How do we know when it
is spirit that moves us? Good question. We must learn to
recognize this from within. There is an inner source that
knows. We need to find it and then trust it. Yes, this
requires a leap in faith. Anytime we place our trust in the inner
world of spirit, such a leap of faith is involved. There is
nothing wrong with faith ... we just need to be careful not to misplace
it. Faith is a tool through which to sculpt the life that we
desire. To that degree, it is akin to belief. Faith still
deals with realms where there is uncertainty or an element of the
unknown. Beliefs do this as well. We can have faith in god,
country, organizations, people, self. We can even have faith in
the laws of nature and the sciences, and all of the technological
wonders and gadgets produced using them.
We can believe whatever we choose to believe. It helps if our
beliefs are aligned with truth, but that does not alter their validity
and potency. Belief structures are the playground for the
mind. At least, they are meant to be such. When used
properly, they are fluid and dynamic, allowing us to adapt effectively
to the rapid changes in our world. Utility is the only true
measure of a belief. Does the belief serve ourself and
others. If so, it is useful. If not, it is time to discard
it and replace it with another, or at least adapt it to make it
better. Again, better is judged strictly by utility. Often,
we do not see the utility until we live with the belief for
awhile. It is helpful if we believe strongly so long as we choose
to believe. However, we must not lose sight of what we are doing
and mistake beliefs for truths.
At play in the fields of the lord.
I believe there is a movie of that title. Yet, is that not what
we are ... creators at play in the fields of the lord? Though, I
don't personally relate to the concept of lord. That is a
masculine energy to me, and I don't experience spirit that way. I
am a creator serving her majesty, spirit. She always feels
feminine to me. Perhaps that is why I seem to relate better to
females than to males. There is a sense that I have more in
common. No, I don't like to shop, or to talk for that
matter. But, I do like to be of service to others, and especially
to spirit herself. And, I do like to express via the written
word, especially here on these pages. Why? I just do it and
know that I love it! That is enough, that is always enough.
Do what you love! There is no other directive, that is other than
do no harm. So, there are two inner compasses for right
behavior. Do what you love but do no harm in the process. I
like that. It is direct and succinct. Joseph Campbell
expressed this as "Follow Your Bliss". Others have advised us to
Be Passionate or Live with Passion. This is indeed the key to
happiness. We have to find what we are passionate about and
engage in that. We have to find the compass to our bliss and
follow where it leads us. Otherwise, our life is wasted, is it
not?
What makes me like other men? What makes me different from other
men? How is what I experience different from what others
experience? Am I as unique as I believe myself to be? Am I
as aware as I believe myself to be? How could I do what I do here
if I were not? At the same time, why do I still feel stuck?
Why do I feel as if I am waiting for another veil to be lifted so that
I can truly see? Sixty days brings us to the 14th anniversary of
the Beyond Imagination expression. Another 33 days beyond that
and we are at Easter birthday #1. From one perspective I cannot
wait. Yet, I know that the time will pass swiftly and will arrive
exactly when it is meant to arrive. We cannot rush fate.
Our destiny will unfold as it must. I'm not much of a
complainer. I accept life as it comes, trusting that it is
exactly as I am creating it at some level. Most of the time, this
is at other than conscious levels. But occasionally, I am in
control. Much of the time, it appears that things are out of
control, especially at work, and I am reacting rather than
creating. Yet, when you are reacting in the moment, what is the
difference from creating?
10 January 2007
Things continue to be hectic at work. But, that doesn't explain
not musing for 5 days. Oh well, we express when we are moved to
express. That has been enough to date. Everything suggests
that it will continue to be so. I am grateful for everything that
comes forth. Each expression brings new insights. Here we
participate in the dance of consciousness, in the process of making the
unknown known, the unmanifest manifest. Here we allow spirit to
become more fully enfleshed and to express as she will. And, I
get the benefit of observing the process. By making this
expression available on the WWW, I allow others to participate in this
stream of consciousness. Indeed, this is a record that may be
replayed just as a musical recording. Only, this is a recording
of words, of thoughts, of ideas. My hope is that they are ideas
whose time has come. But, only consciousness knows this for
certain. I'll know when I see them manifest. My sense is
that this is to happen in my lifetime ... and within the next two
decades or so. That is not a lot of remaining time. And,
what we are dreaming of are monumental changes for the whole
world. Can we build utopias, heavens on Earth? Others have
tried and failed. Perhaps still others have tried and
succeeded. Hmm ... that sent a shiver through my head and upper
body. Perhaps they succeeded and then chose to succede from the
consensus world. "In my fathers house are many mansions, I go to
prepare a place for you". How do we do as Jesus did and create
our own houses and mansions? We are gods incarnate, are we not?
Life is a play of consciousness. Every aspect of it is
precious. Every act is necessary. Every scene, every prop
has its place. There is meaning on multiple levels
everywhere. Consciousness is the playwright, the director, and
the cast of characters. Everything is consciousness in
expression. There simply is nothing else. Even a rock is
conscious, is aware, is alive with beingness. Hmm ... to be or
not to be may be a question, but it has never been a choice.
Nothing that is can ever cease to be. It may be transformed, and
even awakened, but it cannot die or cease to exist. How can I be
certain of this? By observing where we do exist ... only in the
moment, in the everpresent NOW and HERE. Hmm ... the phrase "he
won her" comes to mind as a variation of now here. What does that
mean. Somehow it applies directly to me. I sense in regard
to consciousness herself. Another variation is "one w/
her". That is my present state. At least that is my sense
of things. I am one with consciousness. She is able to
express directly through me. It took a spiritual inheritance
experience at age 35 in 1993 and lots of practice to become ONE.
And, even then, I feel separate much of the time. However, coming
here and allowing this expression to come forth as it does allows me to
experience this unity. I also see it when I make connections
based on the meaning of words and numbers in my life. I was
hoping to find others that experience life in the way that I do.
I am beginning to think that this may never happen. That does not
deter me. I still have a life to live and a mission to
perform. I still don't plan. I take each day as it
comes. We can only do things in the moment. That is the
only time that truly exists. Yet, somehow the moments string
together to form a lifetime of years. We can revisit these in our
memory. But, memory is a funny thing. At least mine
is. I have no understanding of how it works. I trust that
it will function as it needs to function to allow me to be
effective. It clearly is not photographic. Nor does it
appear to be complete. It seems to capture what is important.
How many things in our life are like that? In many cases, someone
or some group of people understand how it works. But, there are
many things that are truly unknown. Most of the subjective
functions of the mind are that way. The human brain is extremely
complex. While scientists have there theories about how some
parts of the brain work, overall, they are still very much in the
dark. Perhaps we are asking for too much, asking a mind to
understand itself ... including understanding how self-awareness arises
and then evolves into a spiritual awakening. Many things are at
play. In my own case, 20 years of reading in excess of 1000
metaphysical books was critical in my education and development.
My hope is that others can greatly reduce that effort by readiing what
spirit is able to express here. Everything is about making
connections. Consciously, we typically do not know what
connections we are making as they are being made. Search
capabilities are important as well. I don't seem to have an
overall index of the contents of my mind as Google and some other
search engines do. Consciously, I have to follow connections and
rely on inner guidance to determine which direction to take when there
are multiple connections available. Generally, I can count on my
mind to determine what is needed and how to get me there.
However, I know there are things like names that I forget, and it can
be frustrating at times.
My father faces a different condition, Alzheimers, that is so bad that
he doesn't even remember his children including me. Somehow, that
part of his brain that has memories from the time he was in his 20's
through his 60's just doesn't function properly anymore. He is
only 70, but that does not seem to matter. Something is eating
away at his brain, either killing the brain cells and their
connections, or otherwise causing them not to function. You can
tell that it bothers him. But, he is OK with it. It is
amazing how adaptable we can be. We live with the cards that life
deals us. Though, we can play those cards as we choose.
Something keeps us in the game until we cease to choose to play any
longer. And then we transform into something else and continue
living in that new form. At some point, it seems that my father
will not be able to function normally. He will forget how to do
things necessary to live a normal life. It is just a matter of
when. To some degree this is sad. But, at the same time it
is natural. It must be strange not recognizing your family, your
kids, your grand kids, and your great grand kids. I can't even
imagine what was going through his mind. Though, I remember
seeing his blank stare of lack of recognition. I was surprised by
it, though it had been nearly five years since I had last seen
him. I never really go to know him. We never shared his
stories or mine. Nor did we share our dreams. That is as
much my fault as his. Perhaps even more. I have chosen to
isolate myself from others all of my life. Work is about the only
exception, and in that there seems to be little choice. Though, I
have grown and am not as afraid of others as I once was. I am
more confident in my own abilities. Further, I am less fearful
that my work will be judged or rejected. Some of this is the
result of direct experience. There is a sense that I am where I
am to learn what I need to learn to prepare me for what is to
come. Each day is thus a challenge and an opportunity.
SSN
0
1
X
2
X
3
4
X
FISH = PEACE
5 X X
6
X
7 X
8
X
X
9
ADDRESS 1
0
X X
1
X
X
2
3
4
5
X
6
7
X
8
X
X
9
X
X
ADDRESS 2
0
1
X X X
X
2
3
X X
4
X
X
5
6 X
7
X
8 X
9
0
X
1
X
X
2
3
X
X
X
X
4
5
X
6
X
7
8
9
X
Another way to create two dimensional patterns from letters and numbers.
wayne ellis hartman
0
1
X
X
X
X
2
X
3
X X
4
X
5 X
X X
X
X
SIDEWAYS QUESTION MARK.
6
7 X
8
X
9
X
X
BE HAPPY AND CREATE WELL
0
1
X
X
X
2
X
X
3
X
X
X
TWISTED INFINITY.
4
X
5
X
X
X X X
6
7
X X X
8 X
9
X
I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE
0
1
X
X
X
X
X
2
X
X
X X
3
X
4
X
X
5
X
HEART IN A BOX.
6
X
7
X
8
X
X
9
X
X
X
BEYOND IMAGINATION
0
1
X X
2
X
X
3
4
X X
5
X
X
X
X MIDDLE IS in the form
of
"y" on "d"
6
X
X
inverted and at 45 degree angle. BE Y ON D.
7
X
X
8
9
X
X
X
11 February 2007
Time continues to fly by. Before you know it, we'll be to the
14th anniversary of the birth of the Beyond Imagination
expression. And then, 34 days later, we have my first Easter
birthday. There is still a sense that a remarkable transformation
is to take place at that time. A death and a rebirth on a massive
scale spiritually. It is solely a matter of time until the
experience is upon us. This time, it seems, it is not going to be
subtle. Though, it does not seem that it will be on a world scale
either. Very few people still know about this aspect of my
life. That is OK. The sense is that I am living the life
that I am meant to live. And, that is all that can be asked
for. Though, it seems that it is time to put more effort into
this expression once again. We'll see if that actually
happens. Not everything that seems to be called for happens in my
life. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. For the most
part, it seems to be out of my control. There are inner forces
and cycles at play. These I am only privy to by what they produce
in my life, in particular, by what expression results.
I was reading though a calender of one quote per day that I created for
2003. I still had the sense that the quotes were fresh and
new. I also, had a deja vu remembrance that these had indeed come
through me at that time. In fact, I selected them and did the
formatting of one week per page. However, even though I read
these two days ago ... at this point, I do not remember a single one of
the 100 plus quotes that I read. That is just how my mind
works. It seems to be an essential part of allowing this
expression to flow through as it does. It requires being present
in the moment and being open to whatever may come. I don't know
how a sentence will end when I begin typing it. But, life is like
that as well. While we have some control over some things, most
of it is still a mystery. That is good. Mysteries are
good. They keep us guessing and fascinated. What is it that
I need to do next? What is it that I wish to be that I am not
yet? What aspects of whom that I AM remain unexpressed?
These are all good questions. And, as always, whenever we are
ready to ask questions, the answers are soon to follow. 17 + 5 =
22 days before the next birthday of the Beyond Imagination
expression. Can it really have been nearly 14 years ago since all
of this began. Let's see 14 of 49 is approx 2/7ths of my
life. Sevenths are interesting 0.
142857
-- double this is
.285714. 582
=> 714, span of
132
centered at
648: The Lovers,
The Man in Search of More. 714 is a variation of 7-4, the number
for G-D. 132 is 11 x 12 = The Cube of Justice.
Yesterday, I went to a Mongolian Barbeque for dinner. The
description of the restaurant attributed the origin of the dish to 1213
AD = 12-13-14. Multiplying, we get 2184, a characteristic number
for me, the final four of my SSN. This is buried in the
digits for sevenths as well. It comes out as 130024 from
2/7ths. 13 - 24 in turn is MX = 1010. Wow! That is a
tie to Reality Creation 1010, one of the early works of Beyond
Imagination. This is also 13 to 4 = 3:47. 3 x 47 = 141 =
411: Information from the inside out. 4 x 11 = The square of
Justice, one of the faces of the Cube of Justice that we encountered in
the previous paragraph. I know, these numbers may not mean much
to those who read this. They are an excursion that I take to find
meaning where by most accounts, none should be. But I find
connections this way, connections that allow me to tie things together
in novel ways. That alone makes it a useful activity, at least
for me. It is as if I am being programmed somehow to do
this. Why still remains to be seen. But, being so moved is
enough for me, at least for now. I greatly appreciate the
richness of meaning that this expression brings into my life.
I am curious as to where my life will lead me in the coming months and
years. Spirit is definitely at the helm in my life. I have
complete faith and trust in her to lead the way for me and to move me
to do what I must do to carry out the mission that I came to this
planet in this existence to carry out. Why do I have to have such
a grand mission? The only answer I can offer is that I came with
the abilities to do great things. Yes, this appears to be
grandiose. But, I would not live an ordinary life. This is
an example of what spirit can do when we allow her to express through
us. I find it to be a fascinating example. But then, I am
biased. This expression is not something that I can be objective
about. I must invest all that I am into it to allow it to exist
at all. Yet, at the same time, I am an observer of all of this as
well. I am taking it in, seeing it as it is expressed. I am
the first conscious being that I know who receives this particular
expression. Though, I forget it almost as quickly as it comes
forth, at least consciously. At some level, what needs to be
registered is indeed tied somehow into the vast network of information
and connections that I have experienced in the course of my life and
perhaps beyond that. It is curious that I make so many
connections between information and numbers and so few with people in
my life. That is just the way that it has always been for
me. Tony Robbins has a saying "the past does not equal the
future". This is the fundamental principle that allows us to
change what we experience.
Life has a way of mirroring back to us exactly what we expect to see,
though often in unexpected ways. If the process were simple, far
more people would be living their dreams instead of their nightmares
... and instead of settling for something that is far less than they
can be. We tend to fear things that we do not understand.
But, the unknown continues to exist despite our best efforts to
understand. Part of the problem is that we are focusing in the
wrong areas. We are still spending far more on fighting wars that
we are on facilitating peace and eliminating suffering to the degree
that we can. It is not a matter of lack of resources. It is
a matter of where we choose to apply our resources. Where we
engage the best and the brightest among us, we tend to make great
progress. Where we don't, you could say that "we get what we pay
for". So, why don't we have more people engaged in research
that supports developing the foundations for a new world where people
are able to get their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs
met in exchange for applying their talents in service to others.
Clearly, this is not the case today. Where we have hundreds of
millions starving, where we have billions living in poverty,
where we have millions dying of AIDS and other diseases ... clearly, we
are not addressing the basic physical needs much less the other higher
level dimensions of needs. Why don't we feel a collective
responsibility for this, for our world? And, why is so little
being done. In the past few weeks, I heard that the amount of
foreign aid that the US provides to the world is far less than 1
percent of our budget. And, much of that is military aid.
How can it be that arguably the richest and most powerful nation on
Earth does so little for its fellow nations?
Along these lines, the economic sector does not do much better.
Yes, in the US and developed nations, we have many choices. But,
much of the world does not enjoy the products that come from their
labors. I have a closet full of shirts that come from countries
that I have never visited. Yet, I know that this can only be
because the labor rates in those countries is so much less than it is
here. You might say that at least we are providing jobs and
fostering the economic sector of these countries. And, that might
be true. But, who is negotiating for the rights of the workers
and their conditions of employment? Our companies are known not
to be benefactors. They are in the business of turning
profits. Yes, that involves creating goods and providing
services. It also involves marketing to make us want to buy those
goods and services despite their effect overall on the world.
Global warming comes to mind. Based on some of the information
presented in
An Inconvenient Truth,
it seems that collectively we have helped to bring the world close to a
crisis point, a breakpoint where the old way of being simply will not
work anymore. Whether this will happen in 5 years or 50 remains
to be seen, but it is not clear that anything can be done to avoid
it. We have simply allowed it to go on for too long. We
have deceived ourselves, or have allowed those who we entrusted to know
to deceive us. In the end, the result is the same. Yet,
people continue to live on, oblivious to the changes that are sure to
come. So, what can we do to right things? Perhaps
nothing. Perhaps everything. Though, it seems that the time
to act is now. I was introduced to a work called
The Limits to Growth by a social
studies teacher that I was working one on one with as a senior in high
school in 1975. They were alarmed at the rate of population
growth and its impact on resource utilization on the planet. I
believe that their conclusion was that the earth could not sustain such
an exponential growth rate and associated consumption of
resources. I don't remember the timeframe they were looking
at. But the projections from their simulations were enough to
concern me at the time.
There has to be a better way to live. There has to be a way to
get people to realize that they truly are part of one circle, one hoop
that never ends. So, why hasn't it happened yet? The only
answer that makes sense is that the time is not yet right.
Everything in its right timing. There is a time for every season
under heaven. To some degree, the Earth does not care what we do
to her. She will survive. And if it takes hundreds or
thousands of years for the conditions to improve so that we are
"comfortable" again, so be it. We reap what we sow. We are
responsible. There is no one else to blame except us. You
can say, but we knew not what we were doing. But, at some level,
at least some knew ... and their knowledge was rejected or
suppressed or otherwise made light of or even wrong by those whom we
empowered either in government or industry.
So, how do we change the situation. With an Easter birthday
coming,
forgiveness comes to
mind. How this works on a physical scale, I do not know. If
the models are right, the sea level will rise substantially so that
many places now above the sea will be underwater. Even in the US,
that would result in major transformation of the coastline impacting
potentially tens of millions of people. Worldwide, we are talking
hundreds of millions, easy. Those are big numbers. And, it
is not clear what to do about them. Hopefully, there are groups
out there chartered to come up with answers. Perhaps it is time
for a mass exodus ... to other parts of the country, or even from the
planet altogether. Life is about vibration. Reality can
change in a heartbeat. We can literally
wake up to a new world. The
present scene will end when it is scheduled to end. And, we will
pick up with another that takes us on the next journey of
consciousness. This is all a play. Plays end. And,
when they do, they can be played again, or we can start anew with a
whole new set of characters and plots.
10 May 2007
It has been awhile since my last musing. It is hard to believe
that we are already a third of the way into May. Oh well ... we
muse when we are moved to do so. That is the way that I choose to
live my life. It was interesting reading some of 2003 Musings -
Vol II over the past few days. Each time I go back and revisit
what has come forth, I am amazed at both the quantity and quality of
the expression. Why is it that so few sales of Beyond Imagination
books have occured in the 3-4 years that they have been
available? I know that I don't do much to make people aware of
them, with the exception of some links and web pages at the Beyond
Imagination site. There is something to marketing. However,
I do not feel inclined to do that. Part of that is out of a
concern over ego. Another part is out of a natural shyness.
There are some things I am not willing to do. One of those is
overly imposing my will. The sense is that if spirit plans for
the works to get out, she will show me what my part is to be, if any,
in doing that. Thus far, bringing the books forth and publishing
them were natural for me. Most of my attempts to bring people to
the Beyond Imagination expression have been dismal failures. That
does not mean that they were not the right things to do. It seems
that they may have been ahead of their time however. Why that is,
only spirit knows. Regardless, it seems that we are entering into
a new phase of this endeavor. It seems that it is time to go
public in some way. Few people even know of the Beyond
Imagination works. I have no way of knowing how many regularly
partake of what exists at the Beyond Imagination site. The few
page counters that I have continue to go up, but relatively
slowly. The expression that is Beyond Imagination cannot do its
works in the world unless it gets into the minds of some
audience. How do I know that it has not already done this?
Primarily, because there has been so little feedback to date.
Though, part of that may be due to a lack of willingness to provide
feedback on the part of those who may have been moved by the
works. Hmm ... I have only provided feedback a handful of times
to authors whose works moved me. Why should I expect the world to
treat me any different than I treat it? Good question.
Though, I am starting to open up more. We'll have to see where
that leads.
My mind is numb from lack of sleep. Each time that I go away on a
business trip lately, I have problems sleeping. This latest trip
was two days. There is something driving me to stay awake.
There is a message in this. I don't know what it is yet ... but
spirit is telling me something. SLEEP = 13557/21:The World = 19
12 5 5 16 = 57, the Three of Swords = the Heart pierced by three
swords. This is also the sum for my middle name ELLIS.
Reversed these are PEELS and SILLE respectively. The latter begs
to be spoken as "silly". 13 557 is the Death of
557. Wow! wayne ellis hartman has a 5-5-7 pattern of
letters. So does Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau, two
transcendentalists that I relate to deeply. Death is also Major
Transformation. Does that mean that transcendence is close at
hand? ELLIS is also ISLE L = ISLE 12:The Hanged Man who hangs
from the cross by his foot, seeing the world upside down and thus
seeing it rightly. I don't relate much to images ... but there is
something about the Ryder Tarot Deck images. They are full of
hidden meaning even though they are relatively simple. Other
numbers of this pattern have been part of my life for some time.
21341 and 61359 are associated with work. Summed they become
82700, reversed = 00728 = 7 x 104. That is one-third of 2184, the
final four of my SSN, a defining number for me and what I am here to
do. This is 888(16). 728 is also 26 x 28 = GOD x 28:Two of
Wands - The Man with the World in His Hand. 2728 was my address
when I moved in with my wife to be nearly 20 years ago. The Major
Transformation of Transcendentalism still reverberates in my
mind. There is something to this. The time is at hand,
finally.
New discoveries. These are always nice to find. But, I can
see how many might not appreciate the language that I use in finding
these discoveries. Numbers and symbol systems blend and merge in
my reality. Somehow, they are real to me. And, the process
of making the connections between things and performing any
manipulations is driven by
inspiration.
This last word is particularly interesting.
s
p
i
r
i
n a
t
i o n
The letters form an inverted "T" anagram
of SPIRIT NATION. That is precisely what we need to become.
That is what we were born to become in 1776. It has taken us 231
years to get to this point in time. Reversed that is 13 2 = Death
To. How interesting. The 888 completion of this is
756. The Death of 557 reversed is precisely that ... 756! 7
and 56 are the drivers in the center of my two 13 Card triangle tarot
readings from 1994. Perhaps there is still hope. This is
the year of my first Easter birthday. The opposite of SLEEP is
AWAKE = 15125 = 14:Temperence. Also, 1 23 1 11 5 = 41:Ace of Cups
= Wayne. The difference between 41 and 57 is 16:The Lightning
Struck Tower. Actually, the opposite of ASLEEP is AWAKE.
asleep = 22. ASLEEP = 58. The difference between 41 and 58
is 17:The Star = consciousness.
"You're a falling
star
..." just came across the radio as I wrote that last line.
It is from a song that I don't remember ever hearing before.
Coincidence ... never.
The movie
Gandhi comes to mind
and in particular the part where someone in the crowd yells "Death to
Gandhi". Nehru goes out into the crowd to find and challenge
whoever said this but no one admits to it. By that time in his
life, Gandhi was revered as a great spirit. And India, is indeed
the nation with the strongest spiritual heritage on earth.
America is an anagram of "I AM race" = the race of the I AM ... most
suitable for a spirit nation. In the bible, when Moses asks God
what name he should be called by, the reply is I AM THAT I AM.
The bottom line is that no names are sufficient. I have taken to
using the statement:
I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!
I had thought this to mean the I AM that is me is the same as the
I AM that is you. But, just now, another meaning came into mind
using a different parsing. I AM THAT I AM ... THAT YOU ARE!
This is God announcing that God and I are ONE! This verifies
something I learned in a kundalini yoga class. God and I, me and
God, are ONE. Though another meaning came to mind as well, as I
was doing the previous parsing. I AM THAT I AM ... that YOU
are. In other words ... it is because of how God is that we are
able to exist at all. This is a whole new meaning, one that
brings shivers into my head. It suggests that we may know
God through his works. By their works shall ye know them.
Is this not what I have been saying about me and about all of us as
well? It is only by understanding how the inputs are translated
into works in our lives that you know the black box that is us.
We are spiritual machines. Yes, very complex ones, but machines
nonetheless. We take in information from the world and from inner
sources, process it in some manner, and produce works in our lives as a
result. What kind of machine am I? I am one that listens to
a voice within and allows it to speak onto these pages. It is
inspiration that drives this expression. That makes Beyond
Imagination a spirit nation in its own right. Right now, it is a
set of nine books plus assorted works at a web site on the WWW.
Hmm ... 23 23 23 = 69:Ace of Pentacles. World Wide Web =
56934 5945 552 = 27 23 12 =
62. With capital W's this is 62 + 54 = 116. Isn't that
curious. 1162 was the complement of the gold number 832 on the
red door that I saw in 1994 while walking Foofer. It turned out
to be the year that Becket became Archbishop of Canterbury, choosing
service to God over service to his friend, the King. It was also
the year that Genghiz Khan was born.
I M
A
G I
= IM MAGI IN
NATION. Could that be true? What does BEYOND add to
this?
N A T I O N
BE "Y" ON "D" = BE "25" on "4". This could refer to the rays of
creation. Be 2:Love/Wisdom 5:Concrete Manifestation on
4:Earth. It is also Be 7 on 4 = either be the Seven Rays on Earth
or be the 74:The Benefactor in the Tarot. It could also mean be
"WHY" on Earth.
B
A E O N
D
I
= DAY of BEING the MIND NATION for the AEON
N A T I
O N
I Y
G
M
So what does that make me in all of this? I am the
spokesman for spirit. I am the voice through which she speaks ...
or, better yet, the instrument through which she writes. Yes,
that makes me a scribe of sorts. Hmm ... 13 9 I BE = The Death of
The Hermit, I BE. How appropriate. Indeed, I must die in a
sense to allow this process to take place. But, what a wonderful
process it is.
The expression has been slow this evening. But, that is typical
when such connections and discoveries are being made. There is a
pattern that I am bringing forth. I don't know what it will be
until it actually comes forth. Though, I do have an innate sense
of when the pattern is in error in the moment. This allows
corrections to be made on the fly, but there is no room for major
rewrites or corrections later. At least, there has been no need
for such to date. There is something addicting about this stream
of consciousness expression. It acts very much like a drug for
me. It keeps me high and awake, anxiously awaiting what is to
come ... knowing that the unknown is being revealed each moment during
the process.
15 May 2007
What next? That is the question of the moment. What am I
moved to do now? I am good at what I do, but the job does not
fully utilize my natural talents and abilities. I long for
more. There has to be a way to earn a great living via doing what
you love to do. I am motivated to find a way, more now than I
have ever been. Though, my paid work does have its rewards ...
and, to date, it is the only place where I interact with others on a
regular basis. Unfortunately, this doesn't extend to the
spiritual side of my life. And, the spiritual is the strongest
part of my life. What do I have to offer to whom that is of value
... in particular, of more value than my present job permits? I
have been moved to say before that $1 per word is reasonable
compensation for this expression. Well, we have over 5 million
words to date, and I have not come close to breaking even for what I've
invested into this expression and making it available on the WWW and in
books. Even if you count everything that I have been paid in my
jobs to date, I am still nearly $3 million shy of being paid what the
expression is worth. Further, if I could find a source to pay for
the expression, I am sure that much more would come forth.
Though, the expression needs to be balanced by experience in some
way. Experience allows me to integrate more of whom that I AM,
thereby allowing me to better serve as a channel for spirit.
So, it seems that I've set my price ... or, spirit has set it for
me. When will it manifest in my life? It is a matter of
allowing. It costs literally nothing to engage in this expression
except for my time. And, I consider that to be an investment
rather than a cost. So, what determines when I make deposits, and
whether these are big or small? Do I have a choice in the
matter? Or, is this communication destined in some way. At
the very least, the time that I spend doing this is an investment in
myself. When we invest in ourselves, we grow in ways that make
our services more valuable to society and spirit. Intuitive
expression is a gift from spirit. It is also a gift from ourself
to ourself. We need to give ourselves this gift often. It
definitely enhances our lives in ways beyond imagination.
1 million words per year is approximately 20000 words per week, or 4000
words per day over a five day week. That is a lot of expression
to sustain on a regular basis. A 500 page book only contains
about 150,000 words. So, that would be nearly 7 sizeable books
per year. It is not clear that I would find a sufficient audience
to read such works. But, if I am moved to create them, clearly
consciousness or spirit will find a way to get the works in the hands
of those who are meant to read them and be moved by them. The
bottom line for me is to
do what you
are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. Trust that
by doing this, you are doing everything that you can to be all that you
can be. The trick is to allow spirit to do the moving.
Actually, it is more than that. We are to allow spirit to do the
work through us. When we do this, the work is nearly
effortless. We simply allow consciousness to express as she
will. That is what I believe that I do here, allow consciousness
to express through me as she will. Though, without me, I know
that this expression could not exist in this form. My abilities,
my consciousness are necessary ingredients to make this happen.
Here, we allow the unknown to become known. Here, we allow the
unmanifest to become manifest even if only in words for the present
time. We say, if only in words as if that lessens this expression
somehow. But, such is not the case. Words are
vibrations. They convey meaning. They can express ideas and
ideals that impact many. Someone once said,
the power of the pen is mightier than that
of the sword. And, right they were. For me, it is
the power of the keyboard tied to a computer running Netscape
Composer. Yes, that is what we do here. We compose ... not
in notes of music, but in words that have the potential to stir souls.
How can I know this? How can this expression continue to come
forth as it does? What makes me so special that I can serve as a
voice for spirit in this manner? It is not so much a matter of
being special, but of being true to whom that I AM, and expressing this
as best I can. It takes a great deal of trust to do this ... and
some courage to expose myself in this manner to the world. Yet,
there is a sense of anonymity as well. You can only know so much
about me from what is expressed through me. That is a lot, but at
the same time, that is only scratching the surface. It is words
that move me most. There is nothing better than the greatest
thoughts from the greatest minds that the world has known. These
serve to truly educate us ... if we learn to savor them and extract
their meaning over time. Nearly every musing is rich with
quotable passages ... some more than others. Indeed, one of the
Beyond Imagination books is Best Quotes, a selection of over 600 pages
of quotes from the first 11 years of the Beyond Imagination
expression. Yes, at age 45, I published a large book of my own
quotes. Or, more precisely, of quotable passages that had come
through me from source, spirit herself. At this moment, not a
single one comes to mind, even though I wrote the material and have
been back to read it several times. How can that be? How
can my mind be so blank? How can my memory work or not work in
such a fashion? Good questions. But, it is what it
is. I observe the expression coming forth and marvel at the
process. I am pleasantly surprised and amazed. Why have so
few people been drawn into my circle of acquaintances? When will
this change? Will it ever change? Do I truly desire for it
to change? What is spirits will in this matter? The sense
is that my life is as it is meant to be. Though, at the same
time, there is the potential for it to transform into something even
greater. Yes, I can be touched by grandiosity at times, perhaps
even consumed. But, I have to live with the experience of
expressing in this fashion. And, I do so even while being sedated
by various prescription drugs that address my bipolar condition.
What does being bipolar really mean? For one thing, it means that
my brain chemistry is different than that of most people. The
drugs that I take supposedly alter this chemistry so that I can
function "normally". I have to laugh at that. Yes, I
function. But, there is nothing normal about how I live my
life. I would have it no other way. I am meant to be a
wayshower. I am meant to be an explorer of the unknown realms of
consciousness. I am meant to bring back and report on what I
find. I know of no better way to do this than to ride this stream
of consciousness. This is where I surf. This is where I
live. This is my home. The world and what it offers pales
by comparison. Yet, the world is where spirit expresses in flesh.
We get what we focus upon. The stronger the focus, the sooner the
results. But the focus needs to be consistent with our beliefs,
or it is for not. When our beliefs conflict ... we sabotage
ourselves and our actions do not have the effects intended. That
is the nature of reality creation. Why is it that none of my
formal training from kindergarten through a Masters from Stanford
addressed belief management and reality creation? This is perhaps
the most important topic to our wellbeing as adults. And, the
basic principles are so simple. The success of
The Secret ... movie, soundtrack,
and book this year is a case in point. It shows that the world
hungers for such knowledge. The times are indeed a
changing. The technology to manifest the reality that we desire
is there, ready to change the world. However, we need to be
careful to do it in a manner that is not selfish, in a manner that does
not hoard, and in a manner that does not dictate how the results are to
be achieved. At present, the unconscious is still vastly bigger
than the tip of the iceberg that is the conscious. It only takes
awakening to make more of the unconscious conscious and even better to
awaken to superconsciousness. Fortunately, the universe operates
through incredible cooperation. It is up to us to make our
desires known to the universe, to spirit, through our beliefs and our
actions in accord with those beliefs. We need to be certain about
our worth, about what we are worthy to receive. We deserve to
have our needs met, physically, emotionally, mentally, and
spiritually. Further, this should not require hard work on our
part. Life is meant to be challenging, but not overly
difficult. Yes, there are lessons to learn, sometimes even tough
lessons. But, the school of life should be fun. It is a
matter of choosing to make it so.
Choice. To what degree do we make choices in our lives? Do
we make choices, or do we observe ourselves appear to make
choices? Does it even matter? I don't sense that I have
control over what I think. Millions of words have been expressed
here on these pages without my conscious awareness of where they came
from or how they came into my head. I only know that I experience
the source coming from within and that until just before it comes
through my fingertips, I have no clue of what is coming forth.
Often, I am so focused on the current word that I have to go back to
re-read the sentence to catch the idea or context of what comes
forth. It still amazes me that this can come through in this
manner. I don't know of anyone else who expresses in this
way. I have read over a thousand metaphysical books but have seen
nothing of this nature. Can this expression be that unique?
If so, $1 per word is cheap ... the expression is priceless. But,
how does it compare to the condensed and inspirational writing of poets
or the imaginary writings of authors of fiction? The bottom line
is that it does not matter how it compares. It is what it is and
as such demonstrates an aspect of consciousness in expression.
For your
eyes only, only for you. You see what no one else can
see. Why is it that this keeps coming up? If
it is indeed true, and I am seriously beginning to believe that it is,
then what does that say about me and about consciousness?
Clearly, it speaks volumes ... literally. But, is that
enough? Clearly not, or there would be more happiness and more
fulfillment in my life. But, as the 48:The Man in Search of More,
perhaps there will always be something missing in my life ... something
more that I need to find, something unknown that I need to know,
something more that I need to be. Further, it seems that I am not
meant to look to others to find this, rather I am to look within.
To what degree, this applies to others, I know not. But, if you
have been attracted to this expression, then it must have something for
you. What that is, only you will know.
16 October 2007
Well, yesterday was note a fluke. This makes two days in a
row. That has only happened on one other time this year.
Wow! It is such a far cry from 2003-2004 when I was musing
roughly 9 out of every 10 days and had streaks in excess of 50
days. Perhaps this is a sign that the tide has turned once
again. The bottom line is that it matters not. We muse when
we are moved to muse. What must be expressed will be expressed
one way or another. It is just a matter of time. One of the
nice things about this expression is that we never know what is going
to come next. The words are not planned by any part of me of
which I have conscious awareness. That makes this expression
special. It is a gift from consciousness through me to the
world. Yes, a gift. I sincerely believe that.
Further, it is the greatest gift in my life. Appropriate that it
would be a gift from consciousness herself. Source, spirit,
consciousness ... these are all synonymous to me. So much so,
that I use them interchangeably. Is that correct? Perhaps,
perhaps not. But ultimately it doesn't matter. What is
communicated comes forth as it will. I was never one to develop a
strong and extensive vocabulary. Yes, expressing in words is my
forte ... but I would do so simply. There is nothing here that is
difficult to understand. Though, much of it may be new to your
experience. One question that comes up often is how this
expression could manifest in this fashion? Also, how could a
stream of consciousness keep going on indefinitely? That is
something I simply cannot answer. I only know that it can indeed
manifest in this way because I observe that it does so. There is
some organizing intelligence that is putting this together on other
than conscious levels. I have only to allow it to flow as it
will. That makes this expression easy and natural. Indeed,
as natural as breathing. What is the difference between a stream
of consciousness and the normal pattern of thoughts that cross our
minds? For me, that is clear. My mind can be surprisingly
blank much of the time. But here, when I sit down in front of
Netscape Composer to express ... the floodgates open and the stream
comes forth. My knowingness is that it comes from a place that I
call source. Whether this source is within or without, I have no
means of discerning. I only know that I type what enters my head
as a voice from within. I see myself making mistakes and catching
them on the fly. There has never been a need to go back and edit
what was expressed. This does not mean that errors are
absent. However, they are relatively few and minor.
Generally, they involve substitutions of words that sound alike.
That seems to confirm that the pattern that is coming through is one of
sound.
It is not only here that my written expression comes forth in this
fashion. In school and at work, most of my expression is
automatic and gets delivered as it is produced without editing on my
part. It is as if there is something within that knows what must
be expressed and is doing the organizing on inner levels. Perhaps
that is a sign that one is using ones true gifts. The very fact
that they come forth effortlessly and seemingly automatically. We
express in a unconsciously competent manner. Interesting.
Why is it that we do not seem to gravitate to positions that allow us
to fully apply our innate talents? Why are so many performing
jobs that are not satisfying, engaging, and challenging enough to allow
us to love what we do? Marsha Sinetar wrote a book about this:
Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow.
However, this does not seem to be the case in my life. Then
again, nothing says that the money will follow as the fruit of ones
labors of love. In some cases, the money may come from other
sources ... but it will indeed come. But, what determines how
much abundance will flow. We get what we need in exchange for
giving what we can give in a manner that makes a difference. Then
why must I sell my time and effort for a salary? OK,
must is not the operative term
here. Holding down a particular job is a choice that we
make. Though, at times it seems that there is no other
alternative. The trick is to see every choice as an
opportunity. An opportunity to grow, to learn, and to experience
things that we would otherwise not be able to experience. What is
to say that our compensation on the job is not really for the work that
we do in our free time. At some point, we reach a level where we
have at least two jobs, a spiritual one and a material one. It is
important that we realize that the spiritual one is ultimately of the
greatest value in our lives and the lives of others. Our impact
at work may or may not make a difference in the long run. But,
our impact on others and the world ... that is where we can make a true
difference.
Literally, millions of words have come forth in 14 years of Beyond
Imagination expression. Is that not enough already?
Apparently not, or this musing would not continue in the manner.
There is a sense that it is time to bring forth something new and
different. But, I don't know what that will be yet. In the
meantime, all that I can do is allow the expression to flow forth as it
will ... trusting that consciousness is indeed expressing what must be
expressed. Where that will ultimately lead remains to be
seen. There is still a strong sense that I am to fulfill a
destiny somehow. There is a mission that I came to
accomplish. This is a role that I specifically came to
play. Furthermore, it is a role that I auditioned for and wanted
to play. Is my life everything that I would have it be? No,
not by a long shot. Then, what would I do to change it?
Good question. That requires making decisions and imposing my
will on things, something that I have been reluctant to do.
However, the alternative is to live with things the way that they
manifest in my life. I'm not a planner. I go into work each
day having no idea as to what the day will bring and what specific work
that I will accomplish. You could say that I fly by the seat of
my pants. I allow my days to fill as they will, trusting that I
will be moved to do those things that make the most difference.
Yet, I am bored at times and can find it difficult remaining
awake. That is something that is not a problem here, when engaged
in this expression. So, why can't I do this on a full time
basis? Why can't I be compensated for doing what I love to
do? Years ago, I was moved to set a price of $1 per word for this
expression. I've banked a lot of words, over twice what my total
compensation for my entire work life has been to date. I've even
invested to make the words available on the WWW and to self-publish in
the event people are interested in physical copies of parts of this
expression. However, that has been to little avail. Oh
well. The words that have been expressed have been worth it to me
... every minute of every day involved in their creation. The
words have been transformational to me in ways that nothing else has
been. The question is: can they be as transformational to
others? By sharing my light, or more correctly, the light of
consciousness through me ... do we pave the way to ignite the sparks of
light within others? Does this expression foster
awakenings? I would hope that it does. But, my hope alone
does not necessarily make it so. And here, there has been so
little feedback from others that I simply have no way to know.
"For your eyes only ... only for
you. You see what no one else can see. " This comes
up often. But, is it true? Is all of this really for my
eyes only? If so, why am I so moved to share it with
others? How else is an extreme loner to make his mark on the
world? Such is still how I envision myself. I am extremely
introverted. Is that by choice or by nature? In the company
of others, I have so little to say. Nothing comes to mind.
Yet, here, with no one to witness but myself and consciousness herself,
volumes are spoken ... or at least written. The curious thing is
that looking back, my mind is blank. I have no memory of what
came forth in the previous paragraph, or even the previous sentence for
that matter. It's as if this expression is my memory. I can
go back and revisit anything that has been expressed at any time.
I just can't remember what has been expressed ... even for moments,
except for fragments here and there. Not many people have the
luxury of such a history of expression. Do I see what no one else
can see? Does my unique upbringing make me special in this
regard. As a loner, my experiences with others have been limited
at best. As a result, my world, Wayne's World, is indeed my
own. But, is this not true for each of us? Do we not all
live in worlds of our own making? Perhaps some worlds have far
more personal interactions than my own. To each their own.
We are not meant to experience things in exactly the same way as
another. This is especially true for those who would be
wayshowers, leading the way to a new way of being. Is that not
what the birth of the Aquarian Age is all about? Ages come
roughly every 2000 years, with a cycle through the zodiac every 26000
years. What will the new age bring?
I've been expressing in this manner for 14 of 49 years on this
planet. That's 2 out of 7 or 28 percent. 1993 seems like so
long ago. Yet at the same time it is as if it were
yesterday. Interesting how that first sentence came out.
Could it be that this is my first time on this planet? Clearly, I
am an old soul. This communication would not be so fluid if that
were not the case. But, could I truly be a stranger in a strange
land here? At times it seems that such is definitely the
case. Something that Jan Kertz, a psychic, once said to me comes
to mind ... something about coming from Star Creation Central.
Curious. How many others like me chose to come into this world at
this time? And, are we to join forces at some time or must we
work in isolation to observe what we can and express as we are moved to
do? How many times have we said that there is only ONE
consciousness manifesting through us all? Within that ONE
consciousness, all are related. There simply is nothing else
except the ONE consciousness in expression. ONE
consciousness. ONE consciousness. ONE. In the end,
there is only ONE. 15-14-5, or perhaps 24-23-14. Reversed,
this is 41-32-42. Ace of Cups - America = I AM Race - Two of
Cups. 41 = Wayne. 42 = Couple with Winged Lion above the
Caduceus above them. 32: 41-42, the 32 cycle in the step from 41
to 42. 32 x 88 = 2560 + 256 = 2816 + 41 = 2857 = 3 to 29 = 32 29
= 23:flesh to 29:light. How's that for an interesting
transformation. 41 also represents unlimited abundance. It
seems that is what we manifest when we finally realize that we are
truly ONE. Just noticed that the initials for Star Creation
Central are SCC = 1933, the year that my mother was born. 1993
was 60 years later. This was a 25 year split until my birth and a
35 year split until my awakening. Hmm ... that makes me wonder
what 1993 + 25 = 2018 will bring. That will be 60 years after my
birth. Is that when my progeny, the works that consciousness
brings forth through me, will awaken to do their work in the
world? That's only 11 years away! Another
observation. My mother turned 74 this year. 68 = WAYNE will
occur in 2026 for me. I strongly sense that this will be a major
completion point in my life ... perhaps even the endpoint. It
breaks down into 23-1-25-14-5 = 23/24/
49/63/68.
Interesting, I'm exactly in the middle right now ... completing
WAY. Hmm ... the transformation from WAY to O is from 49 to 15, a
reduction of 34 = 2 x 17:The Star. Looking at this another way,
ONE is very close to 0NE, which is the remainder of my life as
WAYNE. Looking forward, we have NE(W)AY ahead of us. This
is NEW WAY! That is what I am here to demonstrate.
17 October 2007
This would be three days in a row, but I just found out I saved
yesterdays musing over the prior days musing. That means that
approximately two hours of expression is lost forever. There is
nothing left to recover. And, I have no memory of what was
expressed. Such is life. Things like that happen from time
to time. All we can do is come back to express what would be
expressed here and now. This expression occurs in the NOW.
It is not planned by any part of me of which I am conscious. Yet,
from another perspective, it seems to be complete even before it comes
forth. It is as if it comes from a domain that is timeless.
So, what would be expressed next? What am I moved to do?
How would I change my life? At present, things are relatively
comfortable. I like the work that I do overall, and I love being
able to express in this manner during my free time. Interesting
... free time. How appropriate. What comes to mind is free
time versus time enslaved.
At times I feel that I am enslaved in a body. My soul longs to
soar, free of any chains or constraints. Soar where? I do
not know, other than where consciousness has taken me in the
past. From that, it is clear that there is a whole realm that is
unknown, some part of which is knowable, but some part of which may
always remain unknown. That is OK. There is nothing to say
that everything must be knowable. In fact, it is the unknown that
brings the magic into life. And, life without magic and mystery
simply is not life.
I label my file names for musings "musYMMDD". Todays file is
mus71017. From the middle, this is 0:Source with 17:The Star on
each side. Looking at the word NOW capitalized above, I was moved
to reverse it to become WON and then to exchange this for the word ONE
which sounds identical. Split into component pieces, both of
these vibrate to 5-6-5 and 6-5-5 = 16:The Lightning Struck Tower.
The higher vibrational form in all caps is 23-15-14 and 15-14-5
respectively. That is 52 and 34 respectively. 71017 is a
form of 34. 62 0 26 would be the corresponding form of 52, but
this is not a YMMDD expression. The next two days of this form
are 71117 and 71217. This is followed by 80108 ... and eventually
80808. That is a
particular interesting one. The 8th day of the 8th month of the
8th year of the second millenium. 2000 is MM in Roman
Numerals. That is 13:Death, 13:Death. There is something
driving me to discover that particular day. It is a form of 888,
the base 16 form of 2184, the final four of my SSN. It will occur
exactly 4 months after my 50th birthday. That corresponds to my
604 month. 604 is 22 x 27 + 10 = 1 x 22x22 + 5 x 22 + 10 =
1:05:10(22). The Magician:The Hierophant:The Wheel of
Fortune. That would mean that I am currently in my 598
month. 598 is 2 x 299 =
2 x
13:13(22). How interesting.
Enough speaking in numbers for now. It is not clear that these
have the same meaning to others that they have for me. That is
OK. What is expressed is somehow meant to be expressed. Hmm
... and what is lost is meant somehow to be lost. That gets us
back to the line
for your eyes only.
Perhaps all of this is truly meant for me. And, what if it
is? Why would consciousness single me out in this manner?
What does that say about whom I AM ... or more importantly about what
consciousness is and what troubles the universe would go through to
meet our unique needs. This is a sounding board for me. It
is a mirror into which I look to discover aspects of whom that I
am. Thus far, I like what I see. In fact, I like it enough
to share it with others. Though my form of sharing would have me
be anonymous in the process. I post the Beyond Imagination
expression, not knowing who will be moved to find it, if anyone.
Why am I so driven to share? Primarily because that is how I can
give the most of myself. Here I share of whom that I AM as
intimately as consciousness would allow me to reveal. Ultimately,
I share because I have to share. There is truly no choice
here. Once the expression is unleashed it must be allowed to grow
and reach others as it will. It must be allowed to have its
impact in the world whatever that might be.
Wayshowers live their lives by example. They serve as living
examples for new ways of being. Because of this, they are often
ahead of their times so to speak. Inventors are typically like
that as well. They see what no one else can see. And they
serve as a midwife to bring their inventions into manifestation.
Truly, they are the magicians of our times. I consider myself a
wayshower. Though, I would not wish my particular life upon
anyone. Not that I don't enjoy it overall. It is just not
the easiest of lives to live. It takes a special disposition to
be an extreme loner. It is curious that ONE lies in the middle of
L ONE R. Curious, but somehow not surprising. L is 12:The
Hanged Man and R is 18:The Moon. Hmm ... LONER is 12 + 34 + 18 =
64:Ten of Swords. That is exactly my state. It is as if I
am dead to the world. My license plate ends in 640 as well.
This is 64 with a connection to 0:Source. This gives a new
meaning to 604 above. That too is a form of 64 connected to
0:Source. The following month,
80908
is my
605 month. This is
65:King of Pentacles connected to 0:Source. This represents
unlimited abundance. 988 is a special number for me as well. It
is 9:The Hermit completing a full cycle of 88. That brings us to
10:The Wheel of Fortune. The jump from 9 to 10 is the extension
into a whole new dimension ... two digits versus one digit. I
remember an exercise of counting to 1000000 in early grade
school. Rather than count by 1's, I remember turning in the
following:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 20, 30,
40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 200, 300, 400, 500, 600, 700, 800, 900,
1000, 2000, 3000, 4000, 5000, 6000, 7000, 8000, 9000, 10000, 20000,
30000, 40000, 50000, 60000, 70000, 80000, 90000, 100000, 200000,
300000, 400000, 500000, 600000, 700000, 800000, 900000, 1000000.
All of the pieces for composing any number were there in the 55 numbers
that I specified. But, I missed 999945 numbers. I think the
teacher was trying to demonstrate how big one million was.
Ultimately 54:LOVE numbers take us one shy of one million. The
55th takes us into the
7th dimension. The
64th takes us into the
8th dimension. Each additional
0 adds a component of Source in which the numbers from 1 through 9 can
manifest.
Why do I carry on so? Good question. I have no idea as to
why my consciousness functions as it does, and why this expression
comes forth in this manner. My memory process is a mystery to me,
as is the way that my mind functions. Ultimately, it has great
utility ... especially for the kinds of work that I do. I didn't
do anything to train my mind to function as it does. It seems to
be a natural extension of who I am. Oh, I have been moved to read
many books, especially metaphysical ones. And these have had a
major impact on whom that I am. The thoughts of others that have
crossed my mind through all of this reading literally programmed me to
see the world in the way that I do. This is true of
everyone. The states that we engage our mind in ultimately
determine the degree to which spirit is able to express through
us. Does everyone have a stream of consciousness flowing through
them? My sense is yes, but not necessarily in the manner that
comes forth here. We are all expressions of consciousness,
expressions on the ONE. Why is it that so many do not seem to
realize this?
Some people record snapshots of their lives in pictures and
movies. That is not my way. My forte is words. They
are my chosen form of expression. Here, I muse, allowing a stream
of consciousness to come forth from source. From such words, a
new wor(l)d will be spawned. How do I know this? I just
know. It rings forth from deep within me. What is my
connection to source? It is what it is. It is what allows
these very words to flow forth. SOURCE = 19|15|21|18|3|5 =
19/34/55/73/76/81 = 9 x 9 = the Hermit in two dimensions.
There have been many new connections made tonight which have not been
revealed before. Why today? What is it that is moving me to
express once again? It is simply that time. I do as I am
moved to do. It is consciousness herself that does the
moving.
Today is the first day
of the rest of your life. I don't know who said that, but
it is definitely true. There is a sense of urgency in my life
again ... a sense that I need to be doing something each day that
justifies my existence by making a difference. Why is it that I
feel this need to "justify my existence". I don't know why, I
just feel that way. Live your life in a manner that makes a
difference, and preferably a big difference. It takes no more
effort to live in this manner than any other. If all of us do
this, the world would be transformed in a heartbeat. Yes, that is
all that it takes. The line from The Lion King comes to
mind:
The Secret to Life is to
Never Take More than You Give! How can anyone doubt this
crucial key to abundance for all.
22 October 2007
Tired tonight, but had to come here to muse anyway. We'll see
where this takes us. When I begin, I never really know. It
seems that it is time for some major changes in my life once
again. Further, it seems that the area of change will be in my
relationships with others. Exactly what will come, who
knows. But, whatever it is, I invite it with open arms. I
have been isolated for far too long. Enough that it is becoming
more of a liability than an asset. That I realize this suggests
that it is time for it to change. That means learning some new
skills, and getting beyond my comfort zone. That is OK. We
have to stretch to experience anything truly new. Over the past
14 years since the Beyond Imagination expression began, I have
stretched the limits that I have known many times. However, of
late, my body has become more stiff and rigid than it has ever been
before. Not that I have ever been very flexible of body.
Hopefully, that is not reflective of flexibility of mind and of spirit.
It is time for something new in my life. It is time for the
wonder, the magic to return. Further, I would like that to happen
in multiple areas, not just in this expression. "Be careful what
you wish for ... it just may come true". Someone said something
to that effect. Indeed, it is correct. We are creators,
first and foremost. This is simply what we do. To date, my
creations have been the works that consciousness is able to express
through me. It seems that these expressions are to start taking a
new form. Though, I sense that written expression will always be
primary and dear to me. I get so much information from books, and
from reading this stream of consciousness. One might think that
it would be enough to be able to express in this manner. But, it
would be so much less if I were not able to read what has been
expressed ... often many times. That is the beauty of the written
word. It provides a record that can be consulted and experienced
again and again. But what makes it worth revisiting time and
again? There is an inherent quality about what is
expressed. It is not something that I personally put into
it. It is something inherent ... something that consciousness
herself is able to do. Why is this? I know only that it
is. It is not for me to question what is expressed, only to allow
it to manifest as it will. I am a vessel, an instrument in this
endeavor. I know that. It does not bother me in the
least. In fact, I consider it to be part of fulfilling my
purpose. This is how I give of myself in the most intimate way of
which I am able. But, is this truly an
intimate expression? You be
the judge. I do as I am moved to do ... which includes sharing
what is expressed through me. Why? I am not moved to share
anything else in my life. Why this? Why here? Why
now? The bottom line is that it does not matter. These
questions somehow do not apply to this expression. It simply
is. Just as I AM. Interesting. What does it take to
be all that I AM? It takes a lot. In fact, it takes all
that I can give. It is a matter of allowing every aspect of me to
be reflected fully in my world. Or, should I say worlds.
There is little in common to my work world, my weeknight world, and my
home world on the weekends. Why should that be? Why is
there not more synergy between the various major aspects of my
life? The sense is that there will be soon. How soon, who
knows. Regardless, it will happen when the time is right.
I started seeing a PSI-K practitioner last week. The session was
phenomenal. There was a filling of a great release of emotional
baggage that I had accumulated for some time. Also, there was a
feeling of lightness, of achieving a higher level of vibration.
It will be interesting to see what comes from this. Though, I
already sense that the process is facilitating major changes in how I
approach and interpret the world. I, I, I ... I still experience
life primarily in the first person. Perhaps that is typical for
an Aries. I still find it difficult to relate to others, though
that is starting to change for the better. I am more comfortable
in allowing my Self to come forth in my interactions with others.
Though, there is still a concern with being judged by them. Yet,
what right has anyone to judge another? Further, of what utility
is it to judge oneself? Being observant is fine. But, there
is a big difference between observation and judgement. In the
later, we place a value label on what is observed. To me, this is
wrong ... it is simply not acceptable. Though, how do we create a
better world if we don't both observe and evaluate what we
observe? Isn't feedback all about judgment. But there is a
difference between judgement and judgment ... the first being of
spirit, the second being of man. Hmm ... but how do we know what
to improve? Here, it is best to serve consciousness, to serve as
a vessel for spirit in expression. When spirit works through us
unfettered by our own beliefs and judgments, we always do the "right"
thing under the circumstances. In fact, we cannot do anything
other than this ever. It is only when we take things into our own
hands that we seem to get into trouble. Here, it is for us to
realize that we are spirit first, and that we are in the midst of
having a physical experience. Yes, spirit first and
foremost. Remember that always. And, when you are in doubt
of what to do, do nothing until you are moved from within by a force
that you cannot ignore. Some call this acting from
intuition. That involves going
"into
it", becoming one with the situation or circumstance and with
whom we are at the same time.
Love what you do. Do what you love. Love the one you're
with. Sage advice indeed. Yet, how many of us live up to
this? I know that I don't. I sense that many others don't
as well. Yet, what are we willing to do to change things.
Much of this is a matter of attention and attitude. We constantly
gravitate to our rightful place in the world. That is simple the
way it is. When it appears that this is not the case ... there is
something that we are doing or not doing, believing or not believing,
that is getting us stuck somehow. Then, it is up to us to get
motivated enough to change. For change to happen in our lives, we
must internalize it in whom that we believe ourselves to be and in what
we believe the world to be. What we experience in the world is
the most intimate reflection of whom that we are in the moment.
This is not whom that we truly are, not even close for most of us most
of the time. It is for us to determine what in our life we choose
to change. The most powerful tool that we have for change is our
mind and its beliefs. We can choose to accept things as they are
and be happy anyway or we can choose to change things to be more to our
liking. The choice is ours. In many ways, the universe does
not care. It allows us to experience whatever we will. Yes,
will is the operative word here. But, what if we choose to make
our will subservient to a greater will ... the Will of God or
consciousness itself? Do we then escape from the normal confines
of the world? Limitations ... there are no limitations to whom
that we are. Believe that with the full strength of your being
... and so it will be in your life. Limitations are always
self-imposed. Yes, self-imposed for a reason, but still
self-imposed. We are meant to overcome obstacles, we are meant to
rise beyond limitations. We are meant to be free. Whether
we allow ourselves to be so is another matter.
At this point in my life, I am doing what I love. Not that things
couldn't be better in all three of my worlds. But, they are good
overall. But, is good good enough? I know that there can be
more, much more ... and because of this, I am not satisfied. Born
on 4/8, I am the 48 card of the Tarot: the eight of Cups ... the Man
with five full cups of the senses and three full cups of mind, turning
away to find more. Ever in search of more, it seems that such is
what I am meant to be in this existence. That is perfect for one
who would be a wayshower. But, what way am I to show? The
only one that I have found to be valuable is the way of consciousness
as she is able to flow through me. But, what are others to take
from all of this? They will take whatever they need. Such
is all that can be expected. It is not for me to force my way on
anyone. That is not how spirit works. She gently expresses
what she is allowed to express. Though, that can seem to be quite
forceful at times.
"I've seen
fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought
would never end. I've seen
lonely times when I could not find a friend". I
can't remember the next line. At this time, it seems important
somehow. But, I never know what I will remember and won't
remember. Interesting. Have I ever truly had a friend other
than myself and consciousness herself. What does it take to have
a friend? The answer that comes to mind is that "to have a friend
one must be a friend"? What does it take to be a friend? I
have very limited experience in this area. Such is one of the
penalties of being an extreme loner. Yet, it seems that if I was
meant to establish a strong and lasting relationship with others I
would have started to do this by now. The closest that I have
come is the 20 years with my wife, Gini. But, there are degrees
of closeness. And, I still experience a great distance between
myself and others ... even my wife. Others are still strangers to
me, though with varying degrees of familiarity. Will it always be
this way? I would hope not, but I am open to the possibility that
it might. I am playing a role that I came to play in the only way
that I know how to play it.
23 October 2007
Returned once again. This expression has a way of drawing me
in. Even after 14 years, I don't know why that is. I only
know that it does. That is enough for me ... at least for the
moment. And, the moment is all that really counts in life.
There is only NOW. I'm surprised sometimes at how much this has
become the case for me. My memory, both short term and long term
is limited at best. It has always been so, but it seems to be
getting worse of late. Then again, it is all that I know.
My mind has always been a mystery to me. Even after close to 50
years, I have very limited understanding as to how it operates.
As far back as I can remember, my mind has effectively operated on
automatic. Overall, it has served me well. It has even
allowed me to bring forth extensive creations from intuition.
Perhaps its very nature is responsible for this. There is a sense
that my brain is balanced somehow ... evenly right brained/left
brained, perhaps slightly favoring the right brain side. I am no
stranger to logic. But, I know it to be a tool with its
uses. I also know that intuition is more basic and more
trustworthy. Where logic takes us depends on the premises that we
start with. Intuition is much freer. However, it must be
developed and allowed to play a role in our life. How much of a
role it plays is literally up to us.
What does it mean to be a
Spiritual
Warrior? Some might say that such is an oxymoron.
Yet, I have been moved to express in this manner for many years.
What does a spiritual warrior do? With whom or with what does he
make war? The answer is simple ... with the self. But what
about the admonition to Love Thyself? Good question. We do
this as well. But first we must overcome the illusion and come to
know ourself and our Higher Self. This is our true task.
This is the greatest challenge that we face in life. Many never
question whom that they are. A few seem to know innately and
seemingly effortlessly. The rest of us seem to have to work at it
and succeed to various degrees depending on the effort that we
apply. We get what we focus our attention on. The more we
focus, the quicker the manifestation. The trick is in what we
focus on. That is an area that has been troublesome to me.
What I want doesn't seem to matter much. Rather, I am more
concerned with what spirit would express through me. Why is
that? Why should this concern me so? What does it say about
my level of awareness? Service is what ultimately matters.
It is not what we consume that defines us, it is what we do to serve
others and the world. The Lion King got it right ...
the secret to life is to never take more
than you give!
This is what primes the pump ... this is what creates abundance in the
world. What does it mean to be spiritual? The answer is
simple ... to serve spirit, or to express what spirit would express
through us. A spiritual warrior lives by this code, ever
vigilant, ever in search of ways to more fully serve spirit. We
serve spirit by being whom that we are as fully and clearly as we
can. The more we do so, the more authentic we are.
How do we know when we are being the best that we can be? We just
do. Our hearts sing, our spirits soar. We become engrossed
in living and loving. We are at one with the universe. How
many have experienced such a state? Many achieve glimpses of
such, but few remain in this state for long. But even glimpses
are enough to last a lifetime. They can serve to pick us up when
we are down. Just the memory of them is enough to bring forth an
awakening in our souls to our true nature. They serve as a
reminder of what is possible. It is the states of being, the
states of consciousness that we achieve, that define us. These we
never lose. Once we have had such experiences, there is no going
back to what we were before. I watched the movie
Contact again this weekend.
This was the ultimate case of expending resources (literally billions)
to allow a single person to experience an altered state of
consciousness. Ellie had an awakening experience of the highest
order. It changed who she was. It touched her in ways that
she could not explain ... mysterious ways beyond the comprehension of
most. Fortunately, it does not take such great amounts of
resources to have such awakening experiences. However, it seems
that these are programmed into our lives. They happen when the
timing is right. And, this seems to have been decided before we
were born. How can that be? Is our destiny so fated that
this could be so? It does indeed seem that the major experiences
of our lives are so fated. But how does that get reconciled with
the idea of free will? The point of power is clearly the
moment. This is the only place where we can apply ourselves to
make a difference in our life, the lives of others, and our world.
What does it take to awaken? The answer that comes to mind is an
awakening experience ... something that takes us Beyond Mind into the
realm of spirit. Then, what is Beyond Imagination? From the
very first day of this expression, that is what I was moved to call
it. Is imagination a function of mind or of spirit?
Something comes to mind ...
if you
can imagine it, you can manifest it. Is that how reality
creation works? If so, it seems that we need to be mindful of
what we imagine. We are capable of incredible dreams, but just as
capable of horrible nightmares. Further, we can feel so alone and
lonely ... even though there are billions of us on the planet.
How is that? How is it that we can be so isolated from one
another, at least some of us? The song
Imagine by John Lennon comes to
mind. I don't remember the words right now, but I know how deeply
they move me when I hear the song on the radio. Beyond
Imagination is REALITY! It is the very process of making things
manifest ... of making what was imagined REAL. 18+5+1+3 = 27:The
Ace of Wands = 3 x 3 x 3 = 9 x 3 = The Hermit triangle. 27 is the
first number after the 26 letters of the alphabet. It represent
the "blank space". It is the pause that separates the
words. Even without punctuation, the blank space allows us to
partition things in a way that allows expression to be much more
understandable. The blank space is therefore quite important ...
perhaps more important then any of the letters. 27 is part of the
9:The Hermit expression ... 9 = I, 18 = R, 27 = _. Hmm ... 9 = I,
how appropriate. I is also
one
in Roman Numerals. MMVII is the current year, 2007. This is
also 13 13 22 9 9 = Death: Death: Master Builder: Hermit: Hermit.
Three spirals of 22:Master Builder for a total of 66:Queen of
Pentacles. Curious. I saw a
fox = 666 on the bus ride to my car
this evening. It was only the second time that I have seen a fox
in my life. FOX is 6 15 24 = 45 = 9 x 5 = The Pentagon of The
Hermit.
Next year is MMVIII = 66 + 9 = 75: the number for HARTMAN. on
6/8 2008, we will have WAYNE HARTMAN. 68 + 75 = 143 =
11:The Master x 13:Death. MMIX = 2009 = 13 13 9 24 = 13 13 33 =
Death: Death: The Master Teacher. Total =
59. This is connected to my
phone extension 1359 = M59 = MEI = ME I. Interesting. Why
am I moved to mix numbers, Roman Numerals, numerology, words, and the
tarot in this manner? My mind just seems to gravitate to doing
this. These are all symbol systems. Playing with
connections between such systems is fun for me. Just noticed that
Imagine has an anagram of Gini Mae. My wife was born Genevieve
Mae and changed her first name to Gini long before I met her over 20
years ago.
2012 = MMXII is the year of my second Easter Birthday. That will
be 13 13 24 9 9 = 68 = WAYNE! On 7/5 2012, we will have HARTMAN
WAYNE. In that same year, we will have 4/8/12 = 2184 reversed =
the final four of my SSN. 4812 is also the final 4 of my 9 digit
zip code in Cathedral City.
On 3/5 in my 35th year, this expression began. That was 3/5 1993
= MCMXCIII = 35 13 3 13 24 3 9 9 9 = 35 + 83 = 118 =
2 x 59. 35 could also be
expressed as XXXV = 24 24 24 22 = 94. Adding this to 83 yields
177 = 2:01(88), the beginning of the High Priestess cycle. Is
this why I experience consciousness as a feminine energy?
Interesting, just noticed that 177 is also
3 x 59. Continuing the
sequence, 4 x 59 = 236, 5 x 59 = 295, 6 x 59 = 354,
7 x 59 = 413. This is 143 from
the middle out or 11 x 13 once again. Connections ... connections
... connections ... everywhere connections. 413 is also
"for Death". It is also 41 3
= The triangle of 41:Wayne = Ace of Cups. Hmm ... MCM X CIII is
also 13 3 13 x 3 9 9 9 = 29 x 30. This is the form of
n(n+1). My wife's address when I moved in with her was
2728. 27 x 28 is 756, a characteristic number for me. 29 x
30 = 870 = 9:78(88). This is also the span for 70-78, centered at
74:The Benefactor. 74 is also the number for "wayne ellis
hartman".
It seems like the coming years have much to offer. Hmm ... 2010 =
MMX = 13 13 24 = 50:Utopia on Earth. 2011 = MMXI =
59:Again. 2013 = MMXIII = 77:CHRIST. This is 2 - 13
connected to 0:Source. On 4/1 2013, we achieve 21341, my badge
number at work. 01359 is my decal number for my car. 13 x
59 = 767 = 9:65(78) = The Hermit: The King of Pentacles =
Abundance. What if we expand M => IVI? IVI
IVI VII = a form of 777:Jackpot! IVI IVI VIII =
129, reversed = 9 21 = The Hermit: The World. This is also
21-29, centered at 25, my first two rays ... LOVE/WISDOM and CONCRETE
MANIFESTATION.
Curious. Just noticed that CHRIST translates to
chr is T = 3+8+9 is 20, which is
true. 38 9 is 11 9 is 911 reversed. More connections.
My spirit is soaring once again and my mind is going along for the
ride. chrIST is 20 28 20 = 68:WAYNE. This is a connection
that has never been revealed before.
CHRIST = 77: The Falconer
cHRIST = 77: The Falconer
chRIST = 77: The Falconer
chrIST = 68: WAYNE
chriST = 68: WAYNE
chrisT = 50: Ten of Cups = Utopia on Earth
christ = 32: America = I Am Race.
CHRISt = 59: Our key number from above. 1359 is then Death of
CHRISt.
CHRIst = 41: Ace of Cups = Wayne. 1341 is then Death of CHRIst.
CHRist = 41: Ace of Cups = Wayne. 1341 is also Death of CHRist.
CHrist = 32: America = I Am Race.
Christ = 32: America = I Am Race.
christ = 32: America = I Am Race.
So, what am I to make of what has been revealed here tonight? It
seems that this is something that I am going to have to sleep on and
see what connections get made to all that has come before.
Namaste.
24 October 2007
Once again we find ourself in front of the keyboard starting another
musing. This is becoming a regular thing. That is
good. It seems that I am happiest when I am expressing
often. And, this is clearly my preferred mode of
expressing. Here I connect to something greater than I am ...
source herself. Yes, herself. This is how I experience my
connection to the ONE consciousness. It has been that way since
the expression began. I sense that it may continue to be that way
so long as I live ... and perhaps even longer. Is this the
feminine side to myself that I connect with? Perhaps. But
there is a sense that it is something more. It is all that is not
me. But, what does that mean. I and NOT I = ALL THAT
IS. The more that I realize that is me, the less that is not
I. At some point, I and my Father are ONE.
Interesting. That would suggest that I am spawned from all that I
am not. That is an interesting concept. Especially when we
realize that we are ever changing, hence all that we are not is
changing as well. What does it mean to be something? I know
that I AM. But, other than an innate awareness, how is it that I
know this? The bottom line is that the innate awareness is
enough. The more inclusive that I am, the greater my world.
The greater my world, the greater the potential that I can make a big
difference in that world. And, for me, life is nothing unless we
have a strong positive impact.
Hmm ... I = 9:The Hermit. In my world, I am the mit of Her, the
glove that consciousness wears as she expresses. Hmm ... but what
is the MIT of her? 13 9 20 = Death: The Hermit: Judgement.
Curious, my homework from my PSI-K sesssion last week is to repeat:
I release all guilt,
blame, and shame resulting from my past thoughts and actions.
All three of these things result from judgement or judgment. In
my case, most of the judgement was self-imposed. I have always
had high expectations of myself and have been my sharpest critic.
However, all of this melts away when we release it and simply allow
ourselves to be whom that we are. It is also interesting that my
first choice of college was MIT, however I was not accepted
there. Now, as the MIT of Her, it seems that I was accepted after
all, though in a way that I would have never dreamed possible.
Something suggests to reverse MIT = TIM and add an E = TIME. MIT
totalled 42:The Two of Cups = The Couple with Cups Entertwined with the
Winged Lion above the Caduceus above them. In many respects I
consider myself to be the Winged Lion, the one with the ability to
bring forth wisdom from other realms. Adding E results in 47:The
Seven of Cups = The Seven Vanities = Illusion. E = 5:The
Hierophant, one who would be a spiritual master in the world. To
me, that represents the Philosopher Kings from Plato's Republic.
I loved Plato. But, I found Aristotle to be a bore. And,
philosophers after him even worse. In 1972, I began a love affair
with metaphysics that continues to this day. Wow, that is 35
years ago! It is curious that the Beyond Imagination expression
began in my 35th year. Currently I am 49, so we are talking about
the 2/7 and 5/7 points in my life to date. That is a 2-3-2
split. 2/7 = 0.
285714.
5/7 = 0.
714285. Something suggest
that the sequence should continue with another 3 for 2-3-2-3 = 23
23 = Wayne Squared or Wayne Kinged. Each unit is 7 years in my
life. 10 units would be 70 years, taking me to 2028. 70 is
the Juggler, the Two of Pentacles, the 5-2-8 number since the pentacles
are juggled in a lemniscate, a sideways figure 8. 5 to 8 is
7:55. 2028 = 4 x 507 = 12 x 169 = 12 x 13 x 13. That was a
big surprise. The Hanged Man x Death x Death. This is 13 x
13 x 13 - 13 x 13. There are not many number that can be
expressed in this way.
1 x 1 x 1 - 1 x 1 = 0
2 x 2 x 2 - 2 x 2 = 4
3 x 3 x 3 - 3 x 3 = 18
4 x 4 x 4 - 4 x 4 = 48
5 x 5 x 5 - 5 x 5 = 100
6 x 6 x 6 - 6 x 6 = 180
7 x 7 x 7 - 7 x 7 = 343 - 49 = 294
8 x 8 x 8 - 8 x 8 = 512 - 64 = 448
9 x 9 x 9 - 9 x 9 = 729 - 81 = 648
10 x 10 x 10 - 10 x 10 = 1000 - 100 = 900
11 x 11 x 11 - 11 x 11 = 1331 - 121 = 1210
12 x 12 x 12 - 12 x 12 = 1728 - 144 = 1584
Note that
2184 = 12 x 13 x 14
=
13 x 13 x 13 - 13
So,
both 13 x 13 x 13 - 13 and 13 x 13 x 13 - 13 x 13 are important numbers
in my life. It seems that 13 x 13 x 13 =
2197 = 2/1/97 should have been as well. Though, I don't know what
happened on that day in my life. That would have been about four
years after my awakening in 1993.
2028 = 22:22(88) + 70 = 23:04 = Wayne: The Emperor. 2304 = 48 x
48 = The Man in Search of More x The Man in Search of More. That
seems to be an appropriate time to transcend this world. That is
just over 20 years from now. 70 would put the 35 point at halfway
through my life. 22:22 + 35 = 22:47. This year is 22:22 +
49 = 22:71(88). 22:74 and 22:84 are particularly interesting
years for me. 22 is my hearts desire number. 74 = wayne
ellis hartman, and 84 = wayne ellis hartman jr respectively. My
father was born in 1936 = 22:00(88) making him 22 years old when I was
born. His hearts desire is the same as mine. Hmm ... what
does the phrase I and my father are ONE yield? 74 + 84 = 88 + 70
= 78 + 78 + 2 = 2:02(78). Together we are 22:The Fool Complete in
base 78. Together, we are our Hearts Desire. I was never
close to my father. Now, he suffers from Alzheimer's to the
degree that he doesn't even realize that I am his son. He was 70,
the last time that I saw him over a year ago. In my father's
eyes, I am a stranger ... actually all 4 of his children, his 8 grand
children, and his 2 great grand children are strangers to him. My
hope is that I don't suffer from such a fate. I don't know what
causes Alzheimer's. I don't know if it is hereditary or due to
environment or a combination of both. At times, it seems that I
too am losing my memory. No, not to that extreme ... but enough
so that it is noticeable to me. That motivates me even more to
come here to express. There is a sense that this record will
somehow soothe me and aid me in retaining my sanity in days to
come. I guess that assumes that I am sane to begin with. So
long as I have the presence of mind to continue to ask the question, it
seems that I am still OK somehow.
22:74(88) will be in 2010. 22:84(88) will be in 2020. I
will be 52 and 62 respectively. These are my personality
numbers! In 22:88(88) = 23:00(88), I will be 56. That will
be the 8/10 point in my life.
7-14-21-28-35-42-49-
56-63-70. It is curious that 7
would be the characteristic cycle here. 7-56 occurs in 2014 for
me. That is 2 years following my second Easter Birthday.
22:The Fool Complete is ONE cycle of the Major Arcana. In many
respects, my father was
not I.
So, how is it that we complete one another? Hmm ... my father is
not my ultimate Father. It is my Father that I have lost.
At some point in my life I abandoned him. Now, I consider myself
to be highly spiritual. I have been so at least sine 1972 and
probably before that. I don't remember much before age 7, if
anything. There must have been some kind of shock that led me to
be as introverted as I am. It is curious that my father no longer
remembers much besides living in the childrens home in Freedom, PA when
he was growing up. When he was 2, his father was shot and killed
by his mother. She was judged to be insane and spent the rest of
her life in an asylum. We never visited her or spoke about her or
my fathers father when I was growing up. It wasn't until I was in my
30's that I heard any of this. I knew that my father grew up in a
childrens home, but I did not have any idea as to why ... nor was I
curious. It just didn't matter. I was already isolated by
the time I would have even begun to question. My parents were
regular church goers when we were kids. However, in 6th grade, I
came home from church one day and told my parents I did not believe in
what the church was teaching and I wasn't going back. This was
fine with them. At least, they allowed it to be my
decision. I must have been around 10 at the time. Within
3-4 years, I was heavily into metaphysics. Prior to that,
mathematics was my main love. It remained that way through high
school and college and then transmuted into something more intuitive
... numerology. As you can tell by now, I am still heavily into
this. Numbers as a symbol system speak to me. However, they
do so in a manner that is personal, in a manner that applies to me and
my world but may not apply to others in the same way. That is
OK. As an Aries, my life is about ME first. Though, my
concept of whom that I AM extends to a connection with the ONE
consciousness that animates us all. ME and WE are mirror
reflections of one another. Introverts and extroverts seem to be
the same. Hmm ... just noticed this is IVI E versus VV E = 9 22 9
5 versus 22 22 5 = 45 versus 49. This is my 49 year. Is
that the year that I become a WE? To some degree, I have been
this since this expression began. Source and me, me and source,
are ONE. In yoga, there is a mantra:
God
and me, me and God, are ONE.
I consider source to be spirit ... not
God. I don't know why that is. I just see God as the
Father, and I experience spirit/consciousness as feminine. Is
this Goddess? 7644511 = 7/13/17/21/26/27/28 = Two of Wands = The
Man with the World in His Hand = God!
God = 764 = 7/13/17: The Charioteer/Death/The Star. 764 = 1
91 x 4 = The Square of 9:11.
Interesting.
We don't have religious wars between people that believe in Goddess
cults. All of the religious wars that I know of are/were between
people who believe in different Gods or even the same God in different
ways. And most of the wars that have been fought have been
religious ones. It is time for that to change. Beliefs
should not drive us to war ... ever. War is not an acceptable way
to resolve disputes in a spiritual world. And, we do indeed live
in a spiritual world ... contrary though it may seem. When will
we learn to resolve our disputes peacefully? It is not such a
hard lesson to learn. It is a matter of thinking from a WIN/WIN
perspective rather than a WIN/LOSE or even LOSE/LOSE one. It
seems that such would be obvious. When we operate in a WIN/WIN
manner, everyone benefits. The main stumbling block seems to be a
belief in scarcity, in limitation. Where things are scarce ...
there is a tendency to think in terms of getting our share. This
problem goes away when abundance enters the picture. There is
enough for everyone to get what they need and more. However, for
there to be enough, we must collectively create the abundance the we
collectively need. We do this by providing our services in
exchange for what we need. Some of these "services" are
compensated for by the economic system. Others are not.
This needs to change.
25 October 2007
Had an interesting night last night. I was in the middle of a
lucid dream in which I was conducting a seminar or class based on what
is expressed here. It was so real that it was as if I were
actually doing it ... down to seeing some of the people that I was
interacting with. Most of these were women and none of these were
presently in my life. I have had lucid dreams before ... but only
a handful of times. This went on for over 2 hours. I was
clearly manic during the episode. But, I was enthused with spirit
herself, even more than I am now. I don't know what is
particularly special about the transition from 10/24/2007 to
10/25/2007. But, that is when the dream occurred. That is,
if it was a dream. 10+24+27 = 61:Achievement. 10+25+27 =
62:The Blindfolded Lady. These were the number in the next to the
top row of my "A" Tarot reading in 1994. The pinnacle of that
reading was 6:The Lovers.
6
12
6
6
666 triangle with 12:The Hanged Man in
the middle. In the Tarot card, the hanged man hangs upside down
by one foot, and thus sees the world rightly. 18 + 12 = 30: Four
of Cups = Camelot. Upside down, this is 999 with a 21 in the
middle for a total of 27 + 21 = 48: The Man in Search of More.
I'm still trying to figure out what last night was all about. I
was so busy today at work that I didn't have any time to think about
it. My memory is such that I don't tend to remember the details
for very long. I should have gotten up and written down my
impressions immediately after the experience. Indeed, I came
close to doing that but then decided against it in favor of getting
some sleep. Anyway, I was in rare form. The Master Teacher
came to mind. I was a spokeman for the Aquarian Age. I
embodied everything that has ever been expressed through me. Even
now, nearly 24 hours later, the experience still feels so real ... more
real than my normal waking experience. How can that be?
This was not an awakening per so. But, it was a strong experience
... one that captivated me completely. It showed me that I was
far more competant then I knew myself to be. Further, it put me
in a social setting where I was effectively interacting with a number
of others. It is curious that this would come within a week of my
PSI-K session, in which my stated focus was to work on my relationships
with others. I can feel that the energy around me has been
altered in a powerful way. It will be interesting to see what
this attracts into my life. Yes, I can't wait. Something
wonderful is about to manifest. I can feel it deep within
me. That is a sure sign that change is in store.
I'm somewhat out of it tonight. Too little rest and too hectic of
a day. But, I am still moved to be here to express. October
is 6326259 =
33:The Master
Teacher. 25 + 33 + 27 = 85 = 78 + 7:The Charioteer Exalted.
The charioteer reminds me of Arjuna and Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita,
the Song of God. Generally, this expression is enough to
literally wake me up. However, that does not seem to be happening
this evening. Oh well, we express what spirit would express
through us. We do what we can. Further, we do what we
must. It is not a matter of choice. It is generally obvious
which direction is the right one to take in the moment. This is
not something we need to plan out. It is not clear that we could
even if we wanted to. I have a day planner at work ... but I
never use it, not even to read the daily quote ... and I so love
inspirational quotes. Affirmation, that is the word for my
homework from my PSI-K session. Why couldn't I remember that
yesterday? Just as my eyesight seems to be getting worse, so my
memory seems to be changing as well, and not for the better. Am I
losing brain cells? I have yet to reach my 50th birthday.
It seems to be too soon for that to be happening. My father is an
example of this as well. His lack of memory forces him to live in
the present. But, without ones full faculties of mind, that can
be difficult. I've always been somewhat forgetful. If I
didn't write something down, I had a hard time remembering it.
Throughout my school years and at work, I have often written things
down ... but I rarely go back and review what the notes that I've
taken. I don't consider myself to be an organized person.
My desk at work is a mess until those times when it gets so bad that I
have to find the time to clean it up. Fortunately, I have e-mail
and files on my computer. They are my record. Though, the
lack of organization in those files makes it difficult to find things
as quickly as I would like. If I had 60 hours per week to spend,
things might be different. But, I am not willing to expend that
much time without getting paid for it. That cuts into the time
and energy that I need to be able to express here. And, I
consider this expression far more important. We have to allow
spirit to express through us as she will. At least for me, this
is what I am meant to do with my life. This is what truly
matters. This is what I love to do. In many respects, this
completes me somehow. This is the song of consciousness expressed
through me. And, what a song it is!
SONG = 19+15+14+7 = 55: Ace of Swords = 5 x 11 = the fifth Master
Number. At this moment, I am at the halfway point between 44 and
55. 49 = 7 x 7, the completion of 7 cycles of 7. Seven is
extremely important to the Michael teachings. There are seven
soul ages, and seven levels within each age. At 49, the sense is
that I am completing this somehow. When I first encountered these
teachings, I new that I was an old soul on my way to being a
transcendental one. My favorite quotes other than my own are from
the transcendentalists, Emerson and Thoreau. These are my kindred
spirits. They think as I think. They expressed as I am
moved to express. What is it that I am about to transcend?
There are still 6+30+31+31+29+31+7 =
165
= 11 x 15 days remaining in my first Easter Birthday year.
The 15th anniversary of Beyond Imagination is 33 days prior to that or
132 = 11 x 12 days from now.
Can it really be that close to 15 years already? Further, can I
be that close to 50 = half a century? Indeed, so it is.
Where is life taking us? Do I really need to know? Is it
not enough to trust that it will unveil in a manner that is perfect in
the moment? Indeed, such seems to be all that is required for
me. Some people are planners, planning out every detail of their
lives. That is not my way. In fact, I prefer not to plan
much at all, at least not in advance. I take each day as it
comes. I was going to add joyfully ... but it is not clear that I
am always full of joy. That too may be changing. Overall,
things are going well in my life. Relationships could be better
and closer, but it is only a matter of attitude and time. Can it
be that simple? Indeed, it can.
28 October 2007
Something wonderful is in the air. There is a sense that massive
change is just on the horizon, ready to manifest in my life. The
numbers for today are 28 27. Multiplying these yields 756 =
7 and 56, the centers of my two 13 card triangle tarot readings from
1994. On the drive to Redondo Beach tonight, I must have seen at
least a dozen license plates with various forms of 2184. That is
a sign that my destiny is at hand somehow. It will be interesting
to see what comes in the upcoming days and months.
I've been fighting a cold for several weeks. At times it makes it
difficult to breathe. What is the meaning behind this? What
is this telling me that I am doing or not doing? I have a
breathing machine for sleep apnea. My sinuses have become so
clogged at times that I cannot even use the machine. Oh
well. Usually, consciousness tells me what I need to know
relatively quickly. It is just a matter of time in this
case. I've noticed that I feel chilled often of late. I
don't know whether that is causal or symptomatic. Either way, it
is time for it to go. I don't like being sick, even if it is only
mild and a nuisance. Enough is enough! I ask consciousness
to clearly show me what is leading to my present "suffering" that I may
release it once and for all. Interesting. I just finished
reading Deepak Chopra's book
Buddha.
It was all about the release from suffering. I didn't notice this
connection. But, there it is. In what ways am I "suffering"
and how do I get beyond it? All suffering is illusion. It
comes from seeing the world in certain ways and being attached to what
we see. The way out is nonattachment. Yet, there is a fine
line between not being attached and not being involved. Buddha
demonstrated that with his life. I found it particular
interesting that Buddha found enlightenment at around age 35 and then
went on to life a long life teaching and helping others. His
impact extends to much of the world to this day. In comparison,
Christ is depicted to have been hung on a cross at around age 33.
Though there are other stories that say Christ did not die on the
cross, was married, had a family, and taught in India and other
countries in the East for many years. Whether this is true or
not, we may or may not ever know. That is OK. Christ has
had his impact on the world as well. One of the things in the
book
Buddha that struck me
most was Buddha's ability to travel in consciousness and experience
anything. In particular, it seemed to be something that I need to
learn how to do. Another thing that struck me deeply was the deep
compassion along with the utter lack of fear.
This made me think about what I fear. Bugs still get to me,
especially spiders. Also, there is a fear of expressing what I
feel. Ultimately the sense is that this might lead to rejection
once again. I'm not sure where this fear started. Clearly,
however, it was at a young age. Now, it is time to outgrow it and
the limits that it imposes on what I experience. It is time to be
free to be whom that I am, fully and completely. That is where I
am ultimately headed. It is only a matter of attention and
time. What is it that I would focus upon? Clearly,
consciousness herself. This is what interests me. This is
what excites me.
Consciousness = 36 513 9 63 1 54 11 =
9
9 9 |
9 1 |
9 1 1. 999 is three digit
completion, the ninth triple number. 91 = 78 + 13:Death
Exalted. 9/11 is the infamous day of terror several years
ago. The total is 48: The Man in Search of More. This is
me. My birthday is 4/8. And, I am indeed in search of the
moreness in life. Spirit is ever at my side, expressing through
me as she will. This I allow and encourage. This I do
because I can and because I must. What is it that compels me
so? It is spirit herself. Given what is able to flow forth
her ... there is no question that this is what I am meant to do, that
this is what brings completion to my life.
Spiritual Warrior = 17
9992313
5
199969 = 44: The Four of Cups:
The Meditating Youth with Three Full Cups Unaware of the Fourth Being
Offered by God. 48: The Man in Search of More Again. 92 =
88 + 4: The Emperor Exalted = 1:04(88). 92 * 21:The World is
21:84(88). I've never made this connection before. The
"spiritual warrior" x "the world" is 21:84(88). 2184 is the final
4 of my SSN designating my mission somehow. 2184 = 888(16) as
well. So, what is 999? 2184 + 256 + 16 + 1 = 2457 =
2/4/57 is 1 year 2 months and 4 days before I was born. My birth
time was 1:20 PM = 13:20 = Death of Judgement! My birthplace was
Queen's Hospital, Honolulu, Hawaii. Interesting, the capitals
yield 8888, another thing that I had never noticed before. How
curious. When is this to occur? My time of birth suggests
2013. 2/4/57 was 1 day, 1 month, and 36 years before the Beyond
Imagination expression began on 3/5/93. 1/1/36 was 1 month and 16
days before my dad was born. 31 + 17 days = 48:The Man in Search
of More again. 2/17 to 4/08 is a span of with a center at
3/12-13. 3/12/93 was the
second day of the Beyond Imagination expression. 3/12-13 is The
Empress, The Hanged Man - Death/Major Transformation. From the
middle out to each side this is
213.
Note the beginning of this paragraph. There are two triple 9's,
one is spiritual and one in warrior. Further, in the second, the
year 1999 is explicitly encoded. Hmm ... 1 + 7 + 999 = 1007 = The
Star with 00:Twice Source within it. 1+7+9+9+9= 35:Nine of Wands
= Spiritual Inheritance. 5+1999 = 2004. That was three
years ago. 2313 = wayne death. 69:Ace of Pentacles =
Abundance.
29 October 2007
Another day in which to express what consciousness would express
through me. Why is that so important to me? Why am I moved
to come her to express in this way? It doesn't really matter why
... I JUST AM! Further, I am happy when I am doing this.
What more could one ask for? Here, it feels that I am operating
at my finest, using all of my abilities in an intuitive and creative
way. Here, my consciousness is engaged in doing the task for
which it was made ... for which I came into this very existence.
That is enough for me. Where it will ultimately lead is for
consciousness to decide. I am her willing servant. Yet, she
is not my master. Rather, she is a co-creator in this
endeavor. Without her, none of this would be. Yet, the same
is true without me. MSW = 13 19 23 = 1342 =
55. Hmm ... this is also 13:
Death to 19:The Sun of 23:wayne. 1342 is the major transformation
of the couple joining cups (Two of Cups) with the Winged Lion above the
caduceus above them.
10/29/2007 is a 39 day in a 27 year for a total of 66:Queen of
Pentacles. That makes my 20th anniversary on 10/31/2007 a 41:Ace
of Cups = Wayne day in a 27 year for a total of 68:WAYNE.
Interesting. 20 is Judgement. My birthtime = 13:20 = The
Death of Judgement. Hmm ... this is also 13 "to" 0:Source or the
major transformation of Source. Is that not what this very
expression is? Indeed, it is. There is a sense that I am
still missing something. This year is the year of my first Easter
birthday. There is a sense that I am meant to experience the
equivalent of a crucificion and a resurrection, a death and a
re-birth. I don't believe that this has happened yet ... at least
not to my knowledge. It seems that this should be something that
is not subtle, something that is a major breakthrough to a whole new
level of being. There is still some time. The holy days
still lie ahead. Further, my next birthday is over five months
away. And, there are things that I am doing now that have the
potential to completely change my life. PSI-K is one of those
things. 16 19
9 - 11
= The Tower: The Sun: The Hermit - Justice = The Master. The
total is
55: the fifth Master
number once again. 16/35/
44
-
11 are the partial sums, and
an interesting set they are. Also is the natural 9-11 formed by
I-K. Hmm ... I-K begs to be expressed as I J K = 9 10 11 = 990 +
9:The Hermit yields 999, the number that shows up in "spiritual" and in
"warrior". Adding 1 more yields the breakthrough to 1000 = the
first number of the fourth dimension. PS is 16+19 = 35:Nine of
Wands = Spiritual Inheritance.
OK, why all of the expression with numbers again? That happens
sometimes. I have not met anyone else who understands the meaning
via numbers that I am uncovering here. In fact, it is not clear
that I understand everything being revealed. Nor do I need
to. It is enough that I can see the connections that are
being made between what has been revealed before and what is being
revealed now. Why is this important? I just know that it
is. If it did not need to be manifest in this manner then it
would not be. All creative expression is like that. It is a
gift from Goddess ... from the muses. For me, this gift comes out
in words ... the very words of this expression. I would not have
it otherwise. Words are my chosen form of expression, especially
written words. I don't pick up much from speaking to or listening
to others. I need to see things in writing for them to stick and
have meaning to me. That is what I love about this
expression. In many ways it is a gift from Me to me, or more
correctly from Source to me. Because of the way that it is
recorded, it is a gift that keeps on giving ... day after day, week
after week, month after month, and year after year. Further, it
is a gift that I can readily share with others. I never bought
the concept that only 7 percent of what is communicated is in the words
themselves. For me, the vast majority of meaning is contained
therein. Thoughts that pass through our minds alone have limited
utility unless we commit those thoughts to memory somehow. This
expression is one form that my memory takes. Further, it does so
in a manner that is easy to provide both others and myself access
to. Do others express in this way? How would I know?
Where would I go to find out? How are others to find what has
been expressed through me. The vast majoriy of it is captured at
the Beyond Imagination site. But, other than word of mouth, and
chance keyword searches, how are people to find it? One of the
things that is powerful about the WWW is the richness of
interconnections that can be created. However, this requires
people to find other sites and link to them. To date, the Beyond
Imagination expression has been free. Yes, some of it is offered
for sale in books. But, nearly all of it is available in pages on
the WWW. All that is asked is that people abide by the principle
never take more than you give, and
find a way to provide their services to others in fair exchange for
what they receive here. That is not much to ask. Yet,
indeed, that is all that consciousness ever asks of us.
To be all that we can be ... to allow consciousness herself to animate
us and express through us ... that is what we are here to do. I
have high expectations of what I will accomplish in this
existence. There is no one that is forcing me to do this.
Rather, it is something that I am doing to myself. Why? For
the sheer joy of doing it. I have said many times that I would
create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully
manifest in flesh. It is still unclear whether I will live to see
the new world that arises from these foundations. In many
respects, it matters not. It seems that I came to observe what
works and what does not work in the world and offer a vision of how to
improve things. My forte is seeing where spirit is able to
express fluidly and where it is blocked and doing what it takes to
remove the blocks. Hmm ... I have not stated it precisely in that
manner before. Yet, such seems to be the case. The observer
part of me is primary. Though, this observer is not always
objective, perhaps not even primarily so. Consciousness engages
in the world through me. She does this through all of us in our
own ways. I need to recognize that in others far more than I
do. Perhaps that is the key to opening up my world. Yes, I
consider myself to be special. But, others are special in their
own ways. It is for us to see that specialness in each other and
celebrate that.
What have I to teach others? If I would be a Master Teacher ... a
Teacher of Masters, what do I have to offer them? The only thing
that I can think of of value is the states of consciousness that I have
achieved that have allowed consciousness to express through me as she
has. I offer that these states are not unique to me. Others
can engage in them as well. What comes from that will be a unique
creative expression. No, not necessarily in words as it is for me
... but in some form that is appropriate. Each will know innately
what that is for them. Such forms are not to be compared.
The only real comparison is between what we express versus what we
could express if we were being all that we can be. That is the
delta that matters. That is the difference that results in
miracles in the world. Yes, it is that powerful. I would
teach the nature of manifestation, but that has lost much of its allure
over the years. It is not important that I manifest anything in
particular. Rather, I would allow spirit to do what she will do
through me. I accept that in doing so I have made a choice as to
how I focus energy in my life. Yes, there are material
responsibilities to consider. These, I am obliged to
fulfill. But, beyond that, my time is my own. I am free to
do with it as I will. And, what I will is to allow consciousness
to come forth through me as she will. Why do I sacrifice my self
in this manner? I consider it to be no sacrifice at all.
Rather, it is an offering that I choose to give, an offering to source,
to goddess, to All That Is ... an offering of my very self. This
is the greatest offering that I can give. And, what is it that I
expect in return. Literally nothing! There is no thing that
I need. What matters is consciousness and awareness. I
would do that which I love to do. Nothing more and nothing
less. And, I would do this now. I would remove everything
that blocks me from doing just this.
6/14/2008 was just mentioned on the show Heros. This is a 20 day
in a 28 year for a total of 48 once again. Further 2028 is an
interesting year as well. This will be my 70th year, the two of
pentacles = the 528 expression = The Hierophant: The Man with the World
in His Hand. 20 to 8 is also 7:40, The Benefactor followed by
0:Source. This is a variation of 704 = God. But, it is
really Goddess = 704 4511 = 11 11 = 22: The Master Builder that
matters. This is also 704 911.
One of the greatest Goddesses was Isis = 91 91 = 13:Death Exalted
13:Death Exalted. Is is comes across as "to be to be" = 2 B 2
B. B is 13 squeezed together. So, we hav 2 13 2 13 =
To the Death: To the Death. 4 x 169 = 676 = 666:The Beast + 010:
The Wheel of Fortune.
4 November 2007
The past few days went by in a blur. Sometimes it happens like
that. Had my second Psych-K session with Cindy on Friday.
She is quite proficient at conducting these. Gini was away at a
class to learn Psych-K for the past four days. She thoroughly
enjoys it. My session dealt with the issue of self-worth and how
it was holding me back. My homework for the week is to repeat
"I dare
to allow my visions and dreams to come true". How's
that for a powerful affirmation, especially given the Vision that has
come forth in the Beyond Imagination expression. Can it be so
simple as to
dare to allow it to
come true? I'm curious as to what changes we will see
manifest as a result. It seems that this process is working on
cellular levels, and perhaps even deeper than that. Psych-K is
different than the PSI-K name that I explored for it last week.
Psych-K is 1611 from the Caps alone. 16
1973 8 - 11 / 16 28 - 11/
55: Ace of Swords = fifth Master
number, once again. It is amazing how often 55 has come up of
late. 1973 was about the year that I began my love affair with
metaphysics. Richard Bach, Seth, and Plato all came into my life
about then. So, did computer programming and my discovery of my
Easter birthdays in 2007 and 2012. So did John Carey, Sandee
Hobbs, Becky Boyd, Vicki Lloyd, Patti Thomas, Ross Barrons, Lorrie
Dion, Lucy DeRose and about a few dozen others that I have not
seen since we graduated from high school in 1976. I spent a lot
of time alone in high school. In fact, I am surprised that I
remember even that many names. I was shy to an extreme and bright
enough to be in math and science classes that were a year ahead of my
peers. Why did I choose to be so isolated? At this point
... it no longer matters. We are 34 years later, and many of the
patterns impacting my lack of relationships are still operative.
It seems that it is time for me to grow up and get beyond the patterns
that no longer serve me or serve spirit as I go forth to express my
mission. I believe that hte Psych -K sessions can help with this,
and far faster than any other consciousness technology. It is
curious that I still have a fortune from a fortune cookie that I got
many months ago. It says:
"Your dreams will become reality".
This and my homework for the week are clearly related. I knew
this fortune would be true for me someday ... I just didn't know
when. Now, it seems that the time is close at hand ... very close
indeed.
4/11 in a 27 year yields 42: Two of Cups. Couple with entertwined
cups with winged lion above the caduceus above them. This
symbol has been coming up often as well.
Saw Dr Hanna on Wed. She adjusted my meds for the first time in
several years. She is taking me off of 20 mg of Abilify and
putting me on 60 mg of Geodon twice daily. Though, it will take
three weeks for the ramp down of one and ramp up of the other. I
think Geodon is an anti-psychotic. What struct me though was the
numbers for the name
756
465. The first of these is a characteristic number for me.
It shows up often. Now, I will ingest it twice per day. I
started yesterday. 756 + 465 = 11|11|11. Multiplying by 2
for the daily dose yields 22|22|22 = The Master Builder on three
levels. Appropriate for one who would build the foundations for a
new world. We'll have to see how it makes me feel. Each
drug alters brain chemistry. I'll have to research this one to
see what effects it has. Thus far, the change has not been enough
nor for sufficient time to make any noticeable difference.
5 November 2007
Another day gone. There is far too much to do to get everything
done in a reasonable amount of time per day. Though, I did
interview someone today that has the potential to ease the burden
substantially. Hopefully, his references will check out and I can
hire him. The position has been open for over 9 months. It
is about time for it to be filled, especially with someone that is
capable of doing the job well. The timing is also good from
the standpoint of this expression. I'm starting to come here more
and more ... once again. That places a demand on my time, and I
still consider this to be my highest priority, especially from a
spiritual standpoint. That should be no surprise, I value spirit
above everything. That does not make me a religious
fanatic. My concept of spirit is very broad. Further, I
consider myself to be highly spiritual but not religious in any
manner. The closest "religion" to my way seems to be
Buddhism. It is curious that my wife's maiden name was Buddingh,
a name that contains buddhi, and almost in order. Buddha is
234481 =
23 44 81. This
is very close to the sums for my first, middle, and last name =
23 44 74. If I add
jr to the last name, we're even
closer =
23 44 84.
Buddingh =
23 44 95 78.
Buddhism =
23 44 89 14.
So, what is this telling me? If you could see my home, there is
definitely an Asian influence. There is a large rosewood Chinese
Immortal in the living room, a fairly large bronze Shiva overlooking
the dining room, a bronze with two dragons facing one another in front
of the fireplace, a Buddha fountain in the living room, a heavily
carved chinese alter in the bedroom, and several Buddha and Quan Yin
figures that I have found over the years. There would be more
larger pieces if we had sufficient room for them. I don't buy a
lot of things. But the ones I do buy stir my soul. That is
what our things should do for us. Often, it seems that we settle
for far less than this.
Perhaps I am not religious, but am I a fanatic in what I believe?
Could I be anything else given all that I have experienced in my
life? My sense is that no, I could not. Along with the
territory I have trodden comes a sense of unbalance of sorts.
This is enough to consider me different, perhaps even strange.
That is OK. This expression is meant to challenge what people
believe about themselves and about the nature of consciousness.
Does that mean that I have to be outrageous in how I express? No,
it doesn't. In fact, if I simply allow myself to express out of
whom that I am ... naturally and effectively the impact will be
stronger than I have ever dreamed possible. There is nothing
special that I need to do. Living my life in a manner that serves
spirit, that provides a vehicle for the expression of consciousness in
flesh is more than enough. This expression will indeed reach
those it is meant to reach. I was going to say with or without my
help, however as that came forth, it was obvious that the later would
be the case. This expression, these words in this stream of
consciousness are my children. They are born of two parents just
as all other children. Only in this case, the parents are
consciousness and me. This is a creation of the highest
order. It has the power to serve in ways that I cannot even dream
possible. I know the impact that they have had in my life.
I would hope by now that they have had similar impacts on others
unbeknownst to me. Whether they have or not, and what results
from such impact only spirit knows and only time will tell.
Some connections that have been made over the years are stronger than
others. There is much that is novel here. There is much
that could be studied further, if it hasn't already been done ...
especially regarding connections between different symbol systems
sometimes in disparate branches of knowledge. One that comes to
mind is the use of the symbols for elements as an alphabet for spelling
words, and then summing atomic numbers or atomic weights to uncover
meaning. Why would I even think to look there? It is all
about making connections. The universe is efficient and compact
in how she functions. Similarly, spirit is efficient in how she
expresses. There are no coincidences. To this day, nearly
everyday I scan and interpret the meaning of license plate
numbers. This is especially true when triple digits or forms of
2184 come up. The makes, models, or colors of the cars don't seem
to matter. Just the license plate and possibly the time that I
see it. Synchronicities - at some point there are so many that
chance loses any sense of meaning. I believe the world to be one
of design, yes spiritual design, but design nonetheless. This
very expression seems to be proof of that. I come here, and
something animates me such that I hear this stream of consciousness in
my head and am able to type it through my fingers using my eyes and my
mind to see if I am "getting it right" in the moment. There is
never a need to go back and rewrite part of it. Though, at the
same time it is not error free. The most common errors are sound
alike ones, suggesting that this process is truly auditory in
nature. However, the expression is slower than speaking would be
for two reasons: one, that I need to understand what is being
expressed as it is being expressed and two, because my typing speed is
not as fast as I would like it to be. As a result, the pace of
the expression is roughly 800-1000 words per hour. That is approx
15 words per minute. Overall, I guess that is not so bad for
finished material. It is what
it is. When it needs to be more, it will be. To date we
have a backlog of over 5 million words expressed over 14 years.
Yes, that is a lot of words. However, even slow readers can read
300 words per minute. At that rate it only takes 3 minutes to
read what it takes an hour to generate. How many people would
benefit from being exposed to this expression and spending 3-6 minutes
per day reading it? That is an interesting way of looking at
things. To be worth writing it, at approximately $1 per word, we
would need $1000 per day. If 10,000 people would read it, that
would only be 10 cents per day per person. That's $36.50 per year
per person. Given that there are 100M workers in the country, we
would need 10K/100M = 1/10K = 1/100th of 1 percent of workers in
America to subscribe. Is that asking too much ... to get 1/10K
people in the country interested in what Beyond Imagination has to
say. It seems that this should be easy. Even more so, if we
extend the expression to a larger audience in the world. How many
people would I have to reach to get 10K to say
yes, I want to see more.
$36.50 is approximately the cost of most of the Beyond Imagination
books. For that, you get about 450 pages of original information
and another 150 or so of best quotes. At that, it is a bargain,
450 pages x 300+ words per page = nearly 150 thousand words. Even
at
$50 per book, that would be 3000 words per dollar = 30 words per cent =
1/30th of a cent per word. Clearly, I have not priced myself out
of the marketplace. However, the most convenient method of
delivery would be via the WWW, and I wouldn't want to control who had
access to the material. So, those who would be paying would be
doing so on an "honor system". I would not have it any other way.
This or something better for the good or all concerned, I ASK FOR
NOW! It is time for change. It is time to make a difference
in the world. I am free now, I would not hold myself back from
having the world impact that I am meant to have. Consciousness,
take me where you will. It is my will to do your will ... or more
precisely to allow you to do your will through me. This is the
third or fourth time that we have made an economic plea. I have
been commuting in the present manner for over ten years already.
Enough is enough. It is time to be doing something else. I
know that I can do far more with my life. However, I would do so
by willingly applying myself and my abilities doing the things that I
do best for the service of the world. I don't feel that I am
doing that in my present work environment. Though, that same
environment has allowed me to grow in ways that I would not otherwise
have been able. OK ... but there is a time to move on. And,
it seems like this is it. Though, before I can leave, I need
something to move to, something that gives me the freedom that the
present environment lacks. On my own, I would need roughly $300K
per year to "equal" my present income and benefits. However,
there is no reason that my compensation should be limited to
this. Rather, I ask that you reward me at the rate that I was
moved to set over a decade ago ... $1 per word / no minimums or
ceilings - paid on a weekly or monthly basis over a period through 8
April 2012 (my second Easter birthday), at which time we can
re-negotiate based on what I have become. That is not too much to
ask. Only you would know who would be willing to pay me that much
for this expression. Whether this comes from one, a few, or many
matters not. On my best days, I've been able to generate in
excess of 10,000 words. However, at other times there have been
months between expressions. If this were my fulltime job rather
than my spiritual job alone, things would be far different. I can
express anywhere that I have a computer. I don't even need
connectivity to the WWW except to post the results or send them to
someone to do the posting. In fact, my niece Jamie would be good
for that. Hmm ... that is exactly what I need to be doing,
expanding my connections with people. We do that one person at a
time, making connections and interconnections, introducing one another
to the lightworkers that are out there.
There is a sense that these terms ($1 per word) have been in effect
since the Beyond Imagination expression began in 1993. That would
mean that I should have a substantial bank account by now ... even if
we subtract what I have been paid in my jobs since then. This
seems to be appropriate since these jobs were arranged by the universe
anyway. Also, I would allocate a tithe directly to spirit that
she may find ways to more fully express through others. That
should still leave several million, effectively the equivalent of
winning a small lottery. In my present job, it would take me
15-20 years to earn several million. I'm asking for spiritual
work that has the potential to pay over ten times that. Yet, in
exchange, I am willing to do far more. I am willing to give my
life to spiritual expression. This is more than risking ones
life. In fact there is no risk here. There is only
expression. And, what if I cannot express? That is not even
a possibility! This expression is what I AM! In every word,
in every phrase, in every idea, more of me is made manifest. And,
more of her is made manifest as well.
"I don't know who
I am."
"It's not what you are, it is what you are becoming!"
Just heard that in the background coming
from the television. I don't know what the context was, but it is
definitely appropriate for me now. It is amazing that such
messages keep coming through in this manner. It's as if
everywhere that I look there is a conspiracy of spirit, of
consciousness.
6 November 2007
Last night was interesting. I don't think that I slept at
all. I was consumed with thinking about making my visions and
dreams, as expressed yesterday, come true. I got into details of
what I would do, how I would work, where I would live, how I would
relate to others, how I would consume and report on the services of
other lightworkers. These are details that I never really
considered before, and definitely not to this degree. Yes, I was
manic ... in fact, there was a deja vu sense related to some of my
experiences in the summer of 1993. However, I was fully under
control. Two things have changed. One, I started taking the
Geodon and reducing the dosage of Abilify per the doctors
guidance. Two, I've had two Psych-K sessions with Cindy. As
a result I feel more confident about taking control of my own destiny
and manifesting my visions and dreams. I've been living with
these visions of what could be since 1993. Now, I feel empowered
to make them so. It no longer seems to be a matter of time.
This can happen HERE and NOW. There is no other place nor time
for it to happen.
The universe has a great number of options open to it that would all
support manifesting the VISION of Beyond Imagination. I'm not
asking for much, especially when you consider what I am willing and
able to do in return. That has been demonstrated for all my life,
but, in particular, for the past 14 years.
I took the steps necessary to initiate the process of hiring a systems
engineer into my organization at work. This is the first time
that I have had that responsibility. Now it is up to the business
side to make a reasonable offer. With any luck, I'll have someone
reporting in around Thanksgiving. I remember what it was like
when I was unemployed for several months just over 11 years ago.
I didn't like it. Pounding the pavement looking for work was
definitely not my idea of fun. Fortunately, I found The Aerospace
Corporation ... or they found me. This has definitely been my
best paid job ever, especially in the past two years. However,
that is not enough to keep me if I find a way for the universe to honor
our $1 per word agreement. With whom is this agreement? I
would offer that it is with consciousness herself. Though, where
does consciousness get the resources to pay this amount? Clearly,
through working through others. It just takes one person to find
this expression and be willing to fund it. This could also be
spread over 10, 100, 1000, 10000, 100000 or more. It doesn't
matter to me. I just need for it to be so ... and soon.
I believe that I will live until 2026-2028 or so. That is only
another 20 years. The next 10 years will clearly be the best of
these. That leaves no time to waste. I must do what I came
to do, and do it NOW. The past 10 years have flown by. Yes,
I have a lot to show for them ... but not so much as I would have
expected by now. I can be a stern taskmaster to myself, expecting
far more than should rightfully be expected from anyone. But, I
know what I am capable of. I have demonstrated it time and time
again both at work and in this expression. I would be all that I
can be. I would express whom that I am, fully and
completely. Only by doing so will I have lived rightly.
And, this is highly important to me.
$1 per word. You could not ask for a simpler contract. It
is performance based. Although, it doesn't say anything about the
content of what is expressed. Given the nature of this
expression, I have no real control over that ... at least not at a
conscious level. I trust that what will come forth will be good,
perhaps even grand for it springs forth from consciousness
herself. 14 years of expression testify to this. There is
something about a stream of consciousness coming forth intuitively in
this fashion. It is special. It is not your everyday run of
the mill expression. It is empowering and uplifting, providing an
example of whom that we are when we go beyond all that we know
ourselves to be. Yes, Beyond Imagination is the right name for
all of this. Who could imagine? Indeed, who could imagine?
Curiosity as to word count led me to check the above. We had 761
words through the end of the last paragraph. We can use the word
count tool in MS Word to do the counting for us. It makes for an
easy metric. So, was there anything in the above expression that
is worth $761? The bottom line is a resounding YES! It is
so because I declare it so. At least we have an output for
the hour that we have spent here. There are many people getting
paid by the hour who have hours go by without accomplishing much of
anything. Sometimes it is like that. When our services are
mental or spiritual services, you get what you get. However, it
is up to us to evaluate the utility of what comes forth. We don't
necessarily see one quotable expression after another. Sometimes
that does indeed occur, but generally not everything is gold. If
it were, it would be difficult to find sufficient contrast to make what
is meaningful truly special.
People charge based on what they believe they are worth and based on
the feedback of what others are willing to pay. We need to be
careful not to limit ourselves in this regard. The universe's
resources are inexhaustable. Consciousness has access to all of
these resources. We set our own prices for our time and our
services. Some of these we expect to be paid for, others we do
not. Regardless, the economic system needs to ensure that we get
what we need in exchange for supplying our services. Otherwise,
there is waste and lack, which are utterly unnecessary. Now, we
are getting into some meat. The Beyond Imagination book provides
much food for thought in this area regarding building the foundations
for a new world. How do we get more people to find it and read
it? After all, it is free ... along with all of the Beyond
Imagination expression. It can also be purchased if you prefer
books to information on the screen or printed on 8.5 x 11 sheets.
That's as much advertising as you will get from me. I don't
appreciate advertisements overall. But, there is such a thing as
a free lunch. The expression at the Beyond Imagination site is
proof of that. Here, spirit herself moves me to express what she
would have me express. Some of this is familiar, but much of it
is not. Even as I type this, I am imagining the details of what
my life could be ... no, will be! It will be so because that is
what I choose for it to be. To be or not to be was never a
question that made any sense to me. To be was the only choice
possible.
Hmm ... thinking about free lunch again, the principle that
you should never take more than you give
applies here. We have asked many times in the Beyond Imagination
that people evaluate the worth of what they find here and find a way to
repay that value by providing their services to others or to the
world. Overall, there is a balance that needs to be
maintained. But, this does not involve giving to where you
take. No, I am not condoning illegal activities. However,
as more of us are moved to share in this manner, there will be
transactions that are not immediately accounted for. Consider it
like a bank account. When you provide a service, its value is
added to your account. When you consume a service, its value is
debited from your account. This is in general how it works.
We all have karmic and spiritual accounts. Services generally
involve the filling of needs, be they physical, emotional, mental, or
spiritual.
Now we are up to
1390 =
Death: The Hermit: Source.
Isn't that interesting. It seems that it is trying to tell me
something. These aren't the only 13 numbers in my life.
There are also 21341 and 01359 and 61359 related to work. 1390 is
also 31-90, span of 59, centered at 60.5. The 605 freeway is one
of the roads I take on my way home to Cathedral City for the
weekends. 605 = 5 x 121 = 11 x 55. So 60.5 is 1.1 x
55 which begs to be expressed as
55.55
Once again we have the fifth Master number. I'm going to have to
find my book on master numbers and check out what this signifies.
55/10/1 is the only master number that reduces to 1. The symbol
55.55 suggest 5:Man 5:Woman above and 5:Man 5:Woman below. 5 x
11/11. 11/11 comes up in less than a week. It also marks my
11 year anniversary at Aerospace. Further, this relates to the
11/11/11 from Geo-don, my new bipolar medication.
Connections. Everywhere we look, connections.
Yet, it seems that I am making
connections between such disparate things that they have probably never
been connected before. Speaking of that, today was one of the
first times that I can remember not seeing a single license
plate. I simply wasn't looking for anything. In fact, even
though it was only two hours ago, I don't remember much about the drive
home other than waiting for quite awhile at the first signal.
After that it is a blur. I'm tired, but not that tired. The
work day drug on a little, but I was so busy that the only time that I
really noticed it was at lunch. We'll see what happens
tonight. There is a sense that something has changed and that I
may not need anywhere near as much sleep as I have been getting of late.
Death: The Hermit: Source is definitely a message meant for me.
It seems that it corresponds to a new form of expression.
Somehow, we need to see a major transformation of The
Hermit:Source. That is me! Or, what I have been since
1993. What we would be next seems to be 1390 plus ONE = 1391 =
Death:The Hermit:Will. 0101010101010. It is the alternating
of Source and Will that results in interesting patterns. 1:Will
is not enough. But neither is 0:Source either. It is the
combination of the two that allows us to express everything in the
digital world ... including this very expression. Reality
Creation 1010 was written in 10 days surrounding 31 Dec 93. Hmm
... 10/10/10. Now we are fast approaching 11/11/11. There
is a sense of night and day at play. As 00/00/00, the expression
was all subconscious bursting forth into the would. As 11/11/11,
it seems that it must be far more conscious and Willed. 11/11/11
comes across as masculine and forceful where 00/00/00 was feminine,
receptive, and allowing. Perhaps this will allow God to finally
come into my life. 7 / 6 / 4 + 4 / 5 / 7 =
11/11/11. This comes close to being a mirror reflection.
God + deG. The state grants GEDs.
Actually, I do remember part of one license plate tonight 2197 = 13 x
13 x 13. 756 + 687 = 13/13/13. 786 is 14 to 8 = 1428, a
variation of 2184.
6/6/6 + 6/6/6 = fox + fox = 12/12/12. I've seen two foxes this
year. Further, they are the only two that I have ever seen.
0 1010 1010 1010 = 0 A A A(16) = 2560 + 160 + 10 =
2730 = 30 to 28 = 30:228 = Camelot: WAYNE ELLIS HARTMAN JR. I
picked this number from above since I did not consciously know how many
repeating 01's were in the number, and such things don't happen by
chance. A A A is another form of 10 10 10. My ring has a
large A with a sizable diamond above it. An A with a circle
around it is the symbol for The Aerospace Corporation. The 12
diamonds forming the A on my ring were in a 5-2-5 pattern. The
forth diamond from the top of the left leg came loose and was lost
several years ago. This leaves a 1325 or 1352 pattern depending
on how you view it. 13:Major Transformation of 2:Love/Wisdom
5:Concrete Manifestation. AAA is also the triple A club that I
was introduced to by a channel named Aronk over 20 years ago ...
Awareness, Allowance, Acceptance.
These are crucial to a new world order.
This month is an interesting one. In reverse order Y|MM|DD, we
are in a 9|11 year and month for all 30 days of the month.
7 November 2007
Another night without much sleep. This can't keep going on this
way. Though, today I got up early and was productive at work all
day without feeling weary. $1 per word. I still can't get
that out of my mind. Life would be so much different with such a
contract. November is a 56454259 =
40 month. 7 + 40 + 27 =
74: The Benefactor. Indeed, at
$1 per word, I could be a benefactor. What does it take to
manifest that? It is interesting to see what questions I am
asking. These are a clear sign of what I am bringing into my
life. At work, my relationships with people have improved
noticeably. I am more outgoing, especially in dealing with my
boss and other managers. On the learning side, I found that I
could be completely fooled by my impression of a candidate for a
position at work and his references. What seemed like a perfect
fit turned out to be way too good to be true and a disaster in the
making was averted. I thought that I knew enough about people
that in a few hours I could judge whether they would be good to work
with. But, such was not the case. And, it wasn't just
me. My boss and another manager had a similar impression.
Unfortunately, we do not have an environment at work that allows us to
try someone's services to see whether they would fit in a particular
job. In my company, once hired, it is very difficult to fire
someone unless they really perform badly. I had thought that I
could count on my intuitive skills to read people better, but that
proved not to be the case.
This gets to the concept of how we find
the rightful place for people to provide their services in
society. By not doing this, we allow and even facilitate
incredible waste of time, talents, and skills. Yet, the world is
not ready for using the many different systems of categorizing people
that are found in the book
Who Are
You? I found it fascinating that there were over 100
ways. I don't know how many people have found this book and used
it to find out about themselves and others. And, isn't
finding out who we are a big part of fulfilling the dictum "know
thyself"? Indeed, it is.
Geo-don sounds like Geo-Dawn = Earth Dawn. Dawn Kalin from my
Search for Center days many years ago sent me an e-mail entitled animal
hand paintings. When I opened it, the first hand painting was
that of a Zebra. This more than any other animal represents
0101010101010 from yesterday to me. The alternating of black and
white stripes. Why did I create a string of 17 digits, nine 0's
and eight 1's? The spiritual is stronger that any material
force. Thoughts rule the world. 0 101 0101 0101 0 =
05550. Something says to interpret this as 55 at 50. I'll
be 50 in Apr. Will I reach the 55 state at that time as
well? Zebra = 85291 = 25, the first two numbers of my ray
makeup. Wow! 2:Love Wisdom and 5:Concrete Manifestation.
It is interesting how connections are made here. The sound of a
new medication tied to a lady from my past tied to the contents of a
recent e-mail, tied to a 17 digit binary number that I came up with in
the past two days, tied to 55:the fifth master number, tied to my
upcoming age, tied to my ray makeup ... with several internal
connections as well. Yet, that is how I live my life ...
observing myself making such connections everywhere. Why do I do
this? Because I enjoy it and am moved to do it. I don't
care what does the moving anymore. I believe it to be source,
consciousness herself. But, that does not really matter.
What does matter is that it happens and that I for one find the process
both amusing and useful. A-musing and useful. These are the
Musings of a Spiritual Warrior. MSW = 13 19 23 = 55 again.
This is the year for MSW = Death: The Sun: King of Wands (wayne),
Death to the S(o)n of wayne. Wayne is the son of
wayne. Wayne Ellis Hartman Jr is the son of Wayne Ellis
Hartman. My parents were born in
Republic
(mom in 1933) and
Freedom (dad
in 1936). Plato's Republic was my idea of utopia. I still
relate strongly to the need for Philosopher Kings to rule. I
would be FREE! In my soul, I am free already. It is a
matter of manifesting that in flesh. Note that my dad was born in
a 19+36 =
55 year. There
it is once again.
911 is the number for emergency.
411 is the number for information.
611 is the number for service.
PK = 711 or 1611. What does that mean? As an office symbol
at work, this corresponds to Contracting. Interesting.
The lack of sleep seems to be causing my mind to be more loosely
coupled than normal for me ... not that normal for me is not loose to
begin with. It has not always been that way. In 1993, there
was a major shift, a major awakening in consciousness. Things
have never been the same since. Further, there have been several
more awakenings - three that were strong enough to result in stays in
the mental hospital and lengthy periods of absence from work to
recover. Yet, through it all, source or consciousness herself has
been there for me. Where is the masculine divinity in my
life? The truth be known either there is none, or I BE
THAT. Hmm ... now isn't that an interesting way of looking at
things. The only divinity that is not me is source herself.
And source has always been purely feminine to me. You experience
what you are. Me and source, source and me, we are ONE.
What we see is the reflection of what we are. If I see source as
feminine, it is because that is what I am to a great degree.
Then, where do I find the other half, the God that I am ... the
masculine essence of spirit? Interesting, I have never asked that
before. You're right, we were wondering when you'd get around to
asking that. The God that speaks through Neale Donald Walsch in
Conversations with God comes across
as a masculine God, as does the God of the Bible, both old and new
testaments. By limiting myself to 0:Source, I am playing with
only half of the deck. Both 0:Source and 1:Divine Will are
required to create anything. 10 = 2. Reality Creation 1010
= Reality Creation
10 = A =
Two 1's leaning toward one another with a "-" between them. 0 =
1-1 => /-\ => A = trinity standing on two legs. How's that
for a transformation?
The diamonds in the "A" on my ring are in a 13 - 2 - 23 = M to W =
Death to "wayne" once again. This is connected to the MSW from
above. Further, this is MBW or BMW from the inside out.
That is Be MW. This is of the form Be NZ = Be X with a square
around it = 24 squared = 5
76 =
7:56 from the middle out. It is curious that both BMW and
Mercedes BeNZ are luxury cars. M-B-NZ = 2 13 7:56. So what
comes next? There is a chill that started in my head that is now
dropping down into the left side of my chest and into my heart.
Indeed.
WHAT comes
next.
what = 5812 = 2185
reversed = 888(16) + one = 889(16). 9:88(22) = 13:Death/Major
Transformation.
WHY => WHAT = 587 = 13 26 => 5812 = 988 =13. 9:88(88) is
also 10 = A which relates directly to todays and yesterdays
observations. This is clearly another breakthrough. It has
been awhile since my thinking was this far outside the box.
Hmm ... 1348 words = The Death of The Man in Search of More. How
appropriate!
8 November 2007
So, how do we top yesterday's realization that
WHAT = 21 8 23 reversed comes
next. This is "ellis" 8 "wayne". I don't use my middle name
unless I have to. Note that the total is a cycle of 52. I
am now on the verge of becoming 50. That puts us in the final
half of the "e" in "wayne". WHO? WHAT? WHEN?
WHERE? WHY? These all start in "WH", my first and last
initials. 23 8 reversed is 832 us 8 x 104. 832 +
56 = 888
. Why = 23 8 7. Reversed,
this is 78 32 which is 56 from 78 88. 832 was one of the first
numbers that caught my attention in 1993. It was in big gold
numbers on a red door. It's 2184 completion is 1352 = 13 x 104.
23 8 6 Who am
I? Who are you?
23 8 12 What am
I? What are you?
23 8 55 When am
I? When are you?
23 8 595 Where am I? Where
are you?
23 8 7 Why am
I? Why are you?
am I = M I = 13 9 = Death of the Hermit.
are you = R U = 18 21 = The Moon: The World = The subconsciousness of
the World.
Looking immediately down, I see:
I AM
THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! This is WHAT I AM!
The next question When am I is an easy one ... I am NOW. I knew
that when I wrote the Beyond Imagination Book in 1993.
After that is Where am I. The answer is embedded in where ... I
am HERE. There is no place else to be.
Combining these two, I am NOW HERE = NOWHERE!
Hmm ... "what" comes after "why". Looking at the numbers above
alone, this is true. Taken literally, "this" is true. 28 91
= The Man with the World in His Hand and 78 + 13:Death Exalted.
Reversing this, we get 1982 = 22:46(88) = my 24 = "X" year.
I M that I M that U R! 9 13 2812 9
13 2812 21 18 = 9 13 13 9
13 13 39. How's that for a combination of 9:The
Hermit and 13:Death?
Just noticed that N0W with a 0 in the middle rather than an O is 505 =
55 connected to 0:Source. Reversed this is 23041 = wayne 0:Source
Wayne. Perhaps that is why this expression always occurs as a
stream of consciousness. Wayne is 41 = the pyramid number.
It is a square with each vertice tied to an external point. From
above, it looks like an X with a square around it. This is the
meaning of X squared = 5
76.
The 888 completion is 312 or 213 reversed. This is also N written
on top of Z. Be NZ, as in Mercedes Benz or New Zealand. Hmm
... I hadn't made the connection to New Zealand before. 555
8513154 = 555 13 1 13. This is also 555
8 555 4 = 42: Two of Cups again. Winged Lion.
555 8 555 is AAA = 10 10 10 split evenly into two by
8 = source above, source below.
I'm still in a strange frame of mind. My state of consciousness
is altered even more than normally tonight. I can tell that
whenever the connections and numbers start flowing so readily. I
am excited by all of this. Many years ago, when thinking about
where I might like to travel, I bought a book on New Zealand. I
still probably have it somewhere in my bookshelves. I would like
to visit there someday. I've heard that metaphysics and lightwork
is pretty big there especially given how small the country is.
Though, it would be nice to have personal connections there before I go
to visit. I've reached a state where I've seen enough beautiful
scenery. It is time to start connecting physically with other
lightworkers, in deep and meaningful relationships.
It would help to have a support group of like-minded others to discuss
things with and feed off of one anothers services. We do this by
building community around us. We can do tha anywhere at
anytime. At present, the closest thing I have to a community is
my work environment. There people know me enough to respect who I
am and what I can do. That is not to say that they know me
well. But, I have noticed myself spending far more time
interacting with others of late. I think this is a sign of things
to come. My life is changing. Relationships are becoming
far more important to me.
When I am in the process of making so many connections in realtime, the
pace of the expression slows down dramatically. That is to be
expected. This is not easy work. But, the process is
natural for me ... a process that I thoroughly enjoy.
$1 per word. That is the
contract for this expression. It is only a matter of making it
so. And that, I feel is far more possible now than it has ever
been before. I can imagine living my life in a whole new
way. Indeed, I must do so if my world is going to change to
reflect what I envision that it could be ... that WE could be
collectively. For, the world is really us, our organizations, our
interactions, and the goods and services that we create and provide to
one another.
So, why is my consciousness racing so much of late? What is
different? Surely, the minor dosage of a new medication that I
just started cannot have that great of an effect already. Then
again, why not? Hmm ... I just realized that we passed the 14th
anniversary of my first stay in the mental hospital just over a month
ago. I was ther from 10/01-10/10 in 1993. Wow, that is from
1001 to 1010 = 9:The Hermit to 10:The Wheel of Fortune = "A". weh
= 558 => 5 8 5 = A split evenly by 8 => 10/8 = 1.25 = 5 x
0.5 x 0.5. No wonder I had such a major awakening! wehJ =
558 10 = 558 5+5 = 55855 = "8A 8 A8".
8
A A
8
8
This is 888 with AA = 1010 inside of
it. That is the first time I've tied 888 to AA to my
initials. Note: I have always used WEH for my initials. I
have never used wehJ as far as I can remember. The 1010 ties this
to Reality Creation 1010 as well. AA(16) = 160 + 16 = 176 = 11 x
16, the sixteenth master number(?). I've never thought of numbers
beyond 99 as master numbers before, but there is no reason not
to. 8A = 128+10 =
138.
A8 = 160+8 =
168. These
are interesting numbers in there own right. WEH = 558. WH =
238. Now we have 13:Death 8 and 16:The Tower 8.
It takes an 8 to split an A = 10 into 5 + 5 (two equal parts). 5
= man and 5 = woman. (or male/female). 0=Source 1=Will. I'm
clearly onto something here. I can feel it. I've always
felt that the Tarot of 22 Major Arcana and 56 Minor Arcana = 78 was 10
cards short of capturing things. As such, it is incomplete.
The rightful cycle is 88. That put my fathers birth at 22:00(88)
and my birth at 22:22(88). Hmm ... 22:22 is of a similar format
to what we are dealing with above with A and 8. 22 8 22 = 44
split into two by an awakening. 22/8 8 22/8 =
2.75 888 2.75 = 5.5 / 88 = 8A / ((8)(10)) =
8A/8A = 138 above and 138 below. I'm learning a whole new
symbolic language here. This is nothing like we have done
before. It truly is a brand new mode of expression.
1331 "words" = Death:Death! How appropriate! Namaste.
9 November 2007
BEYOND
THE GREAT BEYOND
I found my SoulSelf Portrait at Marie
Cecille Gargano's site. I got it done about a year ago and have
it hanging in my office at work, where it is readily visible. It
still blows me away. But, the shock today was in seeing the title
she had given to the work: Beyond
the Great Beyond. How appropriate for Beyond
Imagination. Curious, this is a 9/11 day in a 2007/9 year.
A license plate caught my attention on the way to work 5UVV125 = 5212222125 = 22:22 with 1000/8 on each
side. 125 is also 5 x 5 x 5 resulting in 5x5x5 VV 5x5x5 = 5 Y VV
Y 5. We would need a number system of 35 to express numbers from
0 to Z. 5Y = 5 x 35 + 34 = 175 + 34 = 209. Y5 = 34 x 35 + 5
= 1190 + 5 = 1195.
0 1010 1010 1010 1010 =
0 A A A A.
Looking at the Soul Portrait, we have 2-1-3 clearly embedded in at
least two ways. The twin figures(2) and the Sphinx (1) inside the
triangle (3). The twin figures (2) and the feline (1) with the
sanskrit OM symbol in the form of an artistic "3".
I looked up Geodon, my new medication today. Its actual name is
Ziprasidone and it also goes by Zeldox. It struck me as
interesting that we are going from "A" to "Z", Abilify to Zeldox.
Further, Ziprasidone was the
fifth
atypical antipsychotic approved by the FDA (Feb 01). 897
91194655 = 64 = 8 x 8. Geodon
gives us 11|11|11 = 33. Zeldox gives us 853466 = 8/13/16/20/26/32
= 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2. There was a picture of the Geodon capsules
with different dosages. I'm starting with 20mg twice per
day. The capsules are half blue/half white. Next week I
move to 40mg twice per day. The capsules are all blue.
Finally, the week after that I move to 60mg twice per day. Those
capsules are all white. That puts me at 120mg per
day. = 4 x 5 x 6 = 5 x 5 x 5 - 5. This is also 1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x
5. When I saw the capsule pictures, I made an immediate
connection to Light and Dark, to 1's and 0's, to Will and Source.
There is one higher dosage 80mg for which the capsules are half
blue/half white again but bigger. The number on the 60mg capsule
is 398 = 13+13+13 8.
B looks like a scrunched up 13. BGB = 13:Death 7:The
Charioteer 13:Death. It also looks like a flattened 8 G 8 =
8 7 8. This is the 888 complement of 010 = A.
Ziprasidone has 911 embedded in it both forward and backward. It
also has 1946 embedded and 1979 in reverse. 1946 was my fathers
10 year = 22:10(88). 1979 was my 21st year = 22:43(88).
I don't know where all of this is taking me. There are so many
connections being made that they are overwhelming at times. I
need to augment my toolset for dealing with the connections. The
internet may be able to help. Some quick queries earlier today
resulted in some connections that I would not have dreamed
possible. It is amazing what you can find when you search.
It seems that I am going to need a high speed internet connection after
all to pursue sufficient information to make connections with others.
The 35 symbol number system 0-9, followed by A-Z seems important
somehow. I was in my Z = 35 year when the Beyond Imagination
expression was born. VV becomes 3131 but W is 32. Y is 34.
My zip code is 92234 = 9 M Y = The Hermit: The Master Builder: Eight of
Wands. I initially made the change from 9 to I resulting in I M Y
= I AM WHY! The answer to the question WHY is I AM WHY!
The musiing is slow tonight. I'm still trying to make connections
between such disparate things that it is quite challenging. It is
still fun nonetheless. There is something about (A)d(A)m and
e(V)e that comes into play here as well. 10 is A. 31 =
V. AV = 41 = Wayne. A cuts things into 4 | 13/4. V
cuts things into 5 | 5. To make this symmetric, we need to add an
"m" in front of Adam = m(A)d(A)m, though no matter how you look at it,
it comes out
mad. The
saying "Madam, I'm Adam" comes to mind. (A)d(A)
m e(V)e. 14 14 | 41 = 28
| 41, a variation 2184. This is also 41:Wayne to the right and
41:Wayne 41:Wayne to the left. This suggests e(V)e came first and
here square was made in flesh as (A)(A) = 10 10. Hmm ...
he(A)(V)en has both in it. with 55 on the right and 58 on the left.
Thinking about the shapes of letters ...
ABCDEFG
HIJKL
MNOPQRS
TU
VWXYZ. The letters in
bold are symmetric divider numbers. This provides for a whole new
set of operators that can perform a variety of functions.
Be Y on D is a hint for finding
meaning.
Y =
34
D = 1
3
33 14 = The Master Teacher "am". Reversed = 41 33 = Wayne,
the Master Teacher.
Indeed, this is a whole new way of looking at things.
11 November 2007
11/11 in a 27 year. Actually, this marks the 11th anniversary of
when I started work at Aerospace. So, we have 11/11/11 after
all. While I was at the Emergency Care office this weekend, I was
reading the second book of Musings from 2003. In particular, I
noticed that the quote numbers in the back of the book included a
natural set of quotes for each given date. 101-131 are for Jan, 201-228
are for Feb, 301-331 are for Mar ... I'll pull these together
tomorrow to see how special they are. 1110 was for
yesterday. 1111 is for today. All of these were published
in the first two Beyond Imagination: 2003 Musings books and also in
total in the Beyond Imagination: Best Quotes book.
1112 is interesting as it is the 2000 complement of 888. A white
car with 888 at the end of its license plate made two abrupt cuts in
front of me on the drive into Redondo Beach tonight. It was
obvious that it was a message that I was meant to notice. The
rest of the license plate was 4BLY = 4237/16. I spent some time
reading
The "Unknown" Reality
by Jane Roberts. It was the third Seth Book to come out. I
forgot how great it was. When I read it in the late 70's or early
80's my head and heart were in a far different space. Now, it was
as if I understood virtually every word. In particular, the
material on Consciousness Units and infinite choices resulting from
infinite unpredictability made sense. The CU's are
non-physical. They "travel"/"communicate" faster than
light. They cooperate to create organizations capable of
achieving whole new expressions. The free will of CU's enable the
creator to be surprised by the creativity of the creation.
Actually, I don't know how much of this is coming from "memory" of what
I read today versus how much is new.
I'm still manic. That makes it nearly a week already. But,
I was able to sleep last night, so it seems to be under control.
Another vehicle, a Red Ford Aerostar Van caught my attention.
Let's see if I can remember it's license plate -- 3XNF366. Yep
... I think that was it. 3
65
63
66.
5:33:6666.
6
6
3
6
----------------------------
6
6
53
6
6
----------------------------
6
6
5
3 3
6
6
This later figure comes across as a
pyramid with 6 at each vertice and 5 on the top with 33: The Master
Teached inside. This is also a pyramid with 6 at each vertice and
33/6 at the top with a 5 in the middle. This car was particularly
important because I drove one just like it for three years in Montere