2003 Musings Vol III

Namaste! Welcome to my world! On these pages you will find a stream of consciousness expression … one that I have actively been participating in for just over a decade. The snapshot here comes from the period from September through December of 2003. As you’ll see, it was quite a productive period of time for this expression. The musings occurred nearly daily … 104 times in 122 days in fact. The expression comes to roughly 400 pages and just over 156,000 words. Yes, that is a lot for one-third of a year. But, what can I say? That is what I was moved to express, and what I am moved to share.

My hope is that you find this mind-expanding or better yet consciousness-expanding. It should cause you to stretch outside of the normal confines of your consciousness into a wonderful new domain. If it does, I have done my job well. There is a reason that spirit expresses through me in the manner that she does. This is to be an example of what is possible for you to experience as well. By following this record of my stream of consciousness, you get to taste a sample of what is possible. What I can do, you can do also. No, not necessarily in the same manner. Written expression may not be your forte. But, there is some manner of creative expression that is right for you. This is something you will have to find for yourself. Some of this material may provide you with some insight as to where to look. By all means use whatever parts of it you find applicable and useful to your life. Only you will know what these are. Not everything is for everyone. But there is enough variety in this expression that there is probably something for everyone.

These are the Musings of a Spiritual Warrior. I don’t know how to prepare you for what they convey other than to have you experience them directly. They come from a source inside of me. Even after a decade, I still don’t know if this source is a part of me or not. It is simply there. The words just appear in my mind. I don’t plan any of this communication, I simply allow it to manifest through me.

The expression is ordered by day, as it was expressed. The only editing was some spell checking and minor grammar correction. It seemed that the date ordering of the material was appropriate somehow … at least for this product.

There are two major sections in what follows. The first section has the day by day musings as they came forth from September through December of 2003. It covers the first 408 or so pages. The second section is a selection of best quotes from this expression. These are literally what I consider to be the gems of what came forth from consciousness during this time. xxx passages were selected for this section, with the date ordering remaining intact.

I hope that you enjoy what you find here. More than that, I hope that it helps you to awaken to see parts of yourself that you never knew you never knew. One challenge from all of this is for you to expand your reality framework to account for the fact that an expression such as this could continue to come forth through me in the manner that it did in such a short period of time at the end of 2003. It is possible. It did happen. That, in itself, says a lot about the creativity of consciousness as she expresses through us. Yet, what I can do, you can do also. I came as a wayshower. Part of showing the way for me is sharing the fruits of what my consciousness is able to produce. That is what I do at my Beyond Imagination website:

And, that is what I do here in the pages that follow. I hope that they bring to you some fraction of the joy and wonder they have brought into my life.

I come to be gently caressed by consciousness. Yes, I sing her name a lot. She is on my mind incessantly. It is through her that I came to life, and through her that I will live the role that I am meant to live.

What is she? I cannot say. But, she is older than time and wiser than any who have walked clothed in flesh. She speaks through us all. Yeah, she is the spirit within us all – always there to guide us if only we had the sense to listen to her.

She is the ONE, though she be expressed as many. She is called by many names, though most are not aware of her existence. She is greater than the Gods, though in ways that are beyond imagining. The poets have known her as the muse, and she was indeed responsible for their inspiration.

She has existed since the beginning of time, and even before that. Her face can be found everywhere throughout the world, yet where there is beauty, doth she shine most brightly.

It is in this sense that all of this expression comes forth as musings from the source within me herself.

Feel free to contact me if you relate strongly to this material or you have feedback to provide. I’m looking for kindred spirits to help co-create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.

Wayne Hartman

The first day of a new month ... and the start of a new third of the year. That puts us at the 66.6 percent point for the year. Interesting, one of the forms for the beast. Skipping the month, what is prominent is 1 -- 2 -- 3 = 2 13 from the middle out. That begs to be filled in with something. "To the death of" ___ ? We've seen 21341, the number of my badge at work. But this condition is only going to last for one day this month. Interesting. 123 = 3 x 41 = Triangle of Wayne: Ace of Cups. That suggests that we have established a framework for abundance to kick in. It is curious that any day now we will have our third book officially published and available for purchase. There is also 23 - 21 from the middle right to middle left. Those are the numbers for wayne ellis, my first two names.

I'm curious, September = 19/24/31/33/38/42/44/49/58. That is the year of my birth = 1958.

Just noticed something interesting. The onset of the daily musings occurred just prior to my 44th birthday. That would be as I was completing the path for "wayne ellis". It is particularly curious that the final letter "s" only covers a 1 year span of time. Now, it seems that there is a choice as to what comes next ... jr or hartman. If it is jr, we have a 1 year span that covers our 45th year ... this year, followed by a 9 year span that takes us to 2012. That is our second Easter birthday. This is the first time we have seen it to have some numerological significance. Hartman gave us breaks at 8/9/18/20/24/25/30. Particularly absent were 1 and 10. However, note that 20 and 30 still activate the energies at 74 and 84 respectively. The biggest difference is now 54 = LOVE gets activated at an important life point.

"wayne jr" in a similar vein takes us to 23 10 = 33: The Master Teacher. Another interesting revelation. It is amazing what is buried in a few simple numbers. But, spirit is very resourceful. She makes maximum use of all that she is given to work with. And symbol systems are one such area where there is much freedom to express meaning in an endless number of ways.

Another long weekend has passed by in a blur. Though I still have several hours available to express and work today. I say work because I consider proofing to be work and at the rate I proof, there is still about 5 hours of that to do this week. Yes, I put a lot of time into this expression. My hope is that it will be worth it ... worth it to those who consume it and benefit from it, and worth it to me in terms of the abundance that it generates to do the works of Beyond Imagination. Actually, when it comes down to it ... it seems that even without these things I would be expressing anyway, because this is simply something that I must do. In a way, this expression defines whom that I am. I am the one through whom such an expression could come. Though that doesn't really tell you much about me. It focuses on one of the things that I have done. A very important thing, yes ... and it is true that ye shall know them by their works. But there is a difference between the works and the entity through whom the works are done. What is missing in my life are those who would know whom that I AM. Perhaps, I am destined to live a life of relative isolation ... and people will never find this part of me. Though, at this point, that is not my desire. I would have people take the step to go from the works to the person behind the works. I believe that part of that is revealed in the expression itself. But I am glad to reveal more on request.

This expression in many ways constitutes the book of my life. However, I am not fully in control of what is revealed. There is an inner source that directs the flow of consciousness that is recorded here. For the most part, it is as if I am along for the ride. It is still amazing that after over a decade the process remains essentially the same as it was in the beginning. I have no foreknowledge of what is coming. I have some limited ability to guide the expression, but this is truly consciousness show. She expresses as she will. Yes, she. That is how I experience source. I have never been moved to ask why it comes forth in this manner. I have simply accepted the process for what it is and trusted that I was experiencing exactly what I needed to experience. I considered this to be a gift from spirit from the very beginning. This was all part of a spiritual awakening process. It didn't matter that no one else in my world at the time understood it to be such. What mattered was what I was experiencing ... and there was no doubt, I was going through a spiritual awakening. In some respects, I still am. The process that started in 1993 continues to this day. Not a week goes by without achieving some new realization. No, these are not as big as the ones in 1993 and 1998 ... but the aftershocks continue nonetheless.

It seems time to start doing something different. If I want to experience something different in my reality, I need to do something different. For the past several months we have been engaged in publishing books. That meets the criteria. But, that is nearly done now and it is time to start doing something more. It is time to become more outgoing somehow. It is time to outreach in a manner that introduces the Beyond Imagination site and books to many. It is not clear at this time how to do that. It will definitely be a stretch for me. I know that. But stretching is good for the soul. It seems that it is time to change my ways somehow. The key question is how? What do I want to do next? What reality do I want to create? How do I imagine myself living and working in the days ahead? Unless I can imagine it ... there is no way for me to create it. I have been satisfied with leaving all of this to spirit to date. I kept my beliefs in relatively good order, and trusted spirit to present me with the reality that I needed to experience. She's done that. She moved me to work toward publishing eight books in 2003. She even came through with the funds to cover three of them effectively out of thin air. Every sign seems to indicate that I am on the right course ... that I am doing what needs to be done. Then, why this gnawing feeling that there is something I am missing ... that there is something more that I could be doing?

Here we go again. What can I say? Consciousness still moves us to express in this manner. So long as that is the case, we will give her the forum in which to speak. Yes, this is a choice that I make. It is an important choice regarding where I choose to expend my free time. Yet, it is here in this expression that I find myself doing something of value ... something that is potentially of great importance not only to me but to the world. Yes, it is audacious of me to think in this manner. But, how would you think if all of this was coming forth through you. Actually, in a sense, if you are reading this it is coming forth through you ... just in a different way. That is part of what this expression is all about, capturing a stream of consciousness so that others can walk in my mindsteps for awhile. No ... it is not easy walking. I know that. In fact, at times it is downright strange. But, it is what it is. It is a stream of consciousness that I was moved to capture. Do with it what you will. Use it to move you into ever grander states of your own making. I am a wayshower. I am here to point the way. It is for you to follow the guidance as it applies to you and find the way that is right for you. There is no one way that is the way, that is right for everyone. Each way is only a way, and may or may not apply to any given individual. We must find what works for us. This will be different for each of us.

What am I moved to do next? What else would I create in my life? What else would it take for me to abide by my own parting remark and "Be Happy and Create Well"? Being happy is a choice that we make each and every moment of each and every day. We can make this choice regardless of what is going on in our lives at the moment. We can choose to be happy anyway. The very fact that we are alive at such an incredible time is something to be happy about. The fact that there is so much potential for manifesting a new world order that is spiritually based is also amazing. Many people look upon a new world order as a negative thing. But, it doesn't have to be. It can be quite positive. Much of the fear comes from a mistaken understanding of how the new world order might use or abuse the power granted to them. Why is it so difficult to believe that human nature is basically good? Why is it so difficult to believe that people naturally want to do the right thing? Yes, we have history books full of cases where the opposite has been true. But are these typical ... or, are they notable exceptions?

John Lennon's song Imagine plays in the background as I write this. That could easily be a theme song for Beyond Imagination. What he imagines ... we want to take the next step and manifest on Earth. Can we do that? I sincerely believe that we can. It is possible. And further, it is one of the major tasks that we came to do. Interesting, I say we but who am I referring to by this? Me and spirit? Me and others yet unknown? At the same time, the tense seems appropriate somehow. This is a joint endeavor that we are engaged in ... not something that I am doing alone. Then again, is there anything that I truly do alone? It seems that consciousness, at the very least, is always by my side. At some point it seems that others will be as well. But, we are not at that point yet. Is there anything that I can do to accelerate when we will reach that point? Or, is this one of those things that we simply have to allow to happen when it happens? There is a strong sense of the later. However, this comes with an understanding that as the creator of my own reality there are some things that I can do to facilitate the process. What these are I do not yet know. But awareness that they exist is the first step. There are millions of people that have heard the song Imagine many times over the years. How many of these have truly reflected on what the lyrics say? How many of these believe what the lyrics say? How many of these are willing to do something to manifest the changes that the song speaks of? I for one do! Change starts with one person believing enough in something to be willing to do what it takes to manifest it. Though, doing whatever it takes may require enlisting others to assist in the endeavor. Some things require teams of people to manifest. That is OK. We just need to find the right team members and creator the right work environment for them to operate efficiently and effectively. This can happen naturally. But, it seems that more and more we are being asked to facilitate it. How to build effective teams is a challenge. But, we can apply what has worked in the best working environments to our endeavors here. The domain may be different, but similar processes definitely apply.

While many new age concepts are whimsical and many spiritual theories are indeed untestable, that by no means applies to all of them. We don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. After all, in the early 1900's there were legitimate scientists with proofs that people could never travel faster than 30 MPH. The scientific method when it is applied in the wrong way can lead to highly erroneous and whimsical theories as well.

Yes, we are all in 3D, but we are not of 3D. But, where do you place thought and consciousness? Are these simply chemical and electrical processes going on in the brain. I find that extremely difficult to accept ... especially given the nature and quantity of what has been expressed through me over the past decade. My sense of things is that consciousness and awareness are synergistic phenomena. They are more than any of their parts would suggest as possible. I would go so far as to suggest that there is a soul that is non-physical that is associated with each of us, and that we are the physical projection of that soul. How much can be projected depends on what we do to create a vessel through which that soul can express. That is where some of the new age disciplines come into play. In particular, those that involve getting us better in touch with our intuition.

When you say 3D is the only reality that exists ... I beg to differ. The world of our imagination is just as real as 3D. It is expressed in art, in song, in books, in poetry, in dance, in philosophy and thought and in any number of creative ways. Some of these are more physical than others. It is also expressed in dreams, though personally I have limited recollection of such. It doesn't matter whether what we perceive agrees with what is out there in the "real world". The very act of perceiving it as we do makes it our reality.

To some of us, the world of ideas ... of ideals, is just as real, if not more real than the world of form. In fact, we consider ourselves to be in the process of manifesting the world of our imaginations. That takes more that thinking about it or wishing for it to be so. That requires taking action consistent with manifesting what we believe that we want to create and experience.

Thoughts do have power! The right thoughts at the right times in the right minds have the power to change the world. But only if they cause people to DO SOMETHING that results in the necessary changes. Some may be able to reach a level of control where they are indeed masters that control their lives via their thoughts.

What if you are wrong Melissa? What if it is you who are deluding yourself believing that you have far less power than you really do? It is not so much thoughts that create reality, it is beliefs. We co-create our reality in accord with our beliefs. To change our reality, we must change our beliefs ... or change how we are interpreting what we are experiencing. Often, it is not what happens that matters, it is what meaning we assign to what happens. Even in a physical body, we have far more creative power than we can imagine ... primarily because this power comes from a source that interfaces with us from outside of the physical. It is there inside of us, ready to guide us if only we quiet ourselves and choose to listen to what it has to say.

Choosing a life of spirit is not a matter of checking out, rather it is really a matter of checking in, in the grandest way that we can at this time in this existence. We are spirit experiencing an incarnation in flesh. That is true for all of us. It seems too many have focused so much on being flesh that they have forgot that their true nature is spirit.

As to when the grim reaper gets us … we will choose the time, place, and circumstances for that as well. No, not consciously necessarily. But, we either co-create our reality or we don't. There is no gray area here. And, there is no doubt either ... we definitely create and are responsible for it all, no fine print, no exceptions.

It seems that we live in very different prisons. I, too, see that we are in bondage, but it is a bondage of our own making that we are free to rise from and lift at any time. Yours, however seems to be a forever kind of thing. What purpose is there to such an existence?

Everything that I see tells me that there is a divine plan unfolding on a very large scale. It is a plan that involves the evolution of the physical vessels in which consciousness can express in flesh. For the most part these have been limited to individuals thus far. But, we are starting to see organizations being born that embody a collective spiritual consciousness. As the times progress we shall see more and more of this. At some point, we are going to realize that we are ONE WORLD, and that there is ONE CONSCIOUSNESS that animates us all. When that happens we will truly see changes that are wonderful to behold.

My sense is that something is pulling the world and associated forms within the world toward ideals that permit the greater expression of spirit. This is not happening randomly. The world doesn't naturally evolve toward greater order and complexity. Yet, that is what we observe happening. Someday, we are going to include the spiritual component in our "equations" and explanations of things.

Personal Power is the ability to apply one's skills and talents to co-create the reality that one prefers to experience. Living free from fear and free from external control are decent major objectives.

How much difference will this make? Without these "tools", there would simply be no way for me to do what I am here to do ... in my case, create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.

The expression that is Beyond Imagination requires tapping source via intuition on nearly a daily basis for close to 3 hours. In a decade, I have over 3 million words of expression, most of which is posted at my site.

There is a difference between where you want to be and where you need to be. It seems that spirit ensures that I am always at the later ... but perhaps not at the former. It is not clear how much of that is due to unrealistic or unreasonable wants however.

I have goals along the way. Publishing 8 books this year is one. Publishing 12 books by the end of 2004 is another. Earning my living doing what I love to do is third major one. Though for this, it seems the time frame is up to spirit. As to how I'll know when I'm finished, that one is easy ... I'll be dead.

Yesterday's musing was interesting. It is not often that I get to respond to anything or anyone. It made for a refreshing change. Perhaps that is a sample of what is in store in the days ahead as we take this expression public. It is high time that we started to interact with others in the world far more than we have to date. That is not hard to do considering far more than virtually nothing does not have to be much. Yet, there is a sense that despite my hermit ways to date ... there is a hidden side of me that is a far more social creature. I don't believe that I would even be expressing in this manner and sharing this expression in this way if such were not the case. Clearly I am different than most people. What moves me, what stirs me, what excites me, what motivates me, what drives me are very different for me than for others. Yet, I am flesh and bones. I have two arms and two legs and a head just as anyone else. The body is the same. The brain may even be similar. But the programming that has been experienced for 45 years is distinct for each of us. Though, part of this programming is in the very genetic structure that composes all life. It is interesting that the Human Genome Project is close to reaching its objective. One doesn't hear much about it anymore. Perhaps they have completed the task. I know that it was a cooperative effort involving researchers throughout the world. It makes you wonder how many other grand things might be accomplished if we cooperated and committed the appropriate resources to them. One area ripe for study is the brain, the mind, and the nature of consciousness.

I read something today that said that in its heyday during the Apollo flights and moon landings, NASA received 1 percent of the budget. However, since then, this has dropped substantially. It was suggested that we raise this again and use the increases to fund manned missions to Mars among other projects. We'll have to see if the Senator from Texas that was proposing this can garner the necessary support. What if we chose to spend 1 percent of the budget on brain/mind/consciousness research? What advances and benefits might come from such an investment? 1 percent is not much. However, looked at another way ... if you spent 1 percent on each thing you could only do 100 things. And some thing such as defense, education, healthcare, welfare, government are probably going to take more than 10 percent each. So, how do we get support for the 1 percent solution. It is not as if it would be wasted. Initially, it would go primarily into research grants. Graduate students are still some of the most cost effective resources we have for doing work. They are highly educated and highly motivated. And, typically, their lifestyles are such that they can get by on much less than those working in the private sector. If we can give them something to truly sink their teeth into, I think we'll be amazed by what they are able to come up with. Further, it is not strictly the scientists that we seeking out here. How the mind functions and the nature of consciousness need to be tackled from a variety of disciplines. What is important is to find people good at observing and recording what they observe. What they will be observing primarily is the mental states, the states of consciousness, of themselves and others. Yes, much of this will be subjective ... and highly subjective at that. That is part of the nature of the beast that we are dealing with.

The file name for today is interesting. It includes 30903. That comes across as 9:00:33 = The Hermit: Source : The Master Teacher. Is that what I have become. It seems that such is definitely what I could be. It is simply a matter of choice. It seems that my destiny is in my hands now. Perhaps it has always been ... only now, I am truly aware of it as I have never been before. It will be interesting to see what comes of this. It will be interesting to see what I am moved to do. It will be interesting to see what I am moved to create and who is attracted into my reality as a result.

Spent several hours finishing the selections of best quotes for 2003 Musings - Vol II. We should be able to wrap that up and send it to the publisher early next week. It looks like it is going to come in at about 560 pages ... including 104 pages of quotes. What can we say, another sizeable work. I'm ready to be done with it and see what I will be moved to do next. There is still nearly 1/3 of a year to go in 2003. I find it amazing reflecting back on how much has been accomplished in nine months. Yet, it seems that is only a sample of things to come. Eight books ... we are so close to having eight books completed in 2003 that we can taste it. We are down to one final pass and numbering of the quotes and implementation of final proofing corrections. These are things that are well within our control to complete. That is one of the nice things about this expression and about self-publishing. The bulk of it is under my control, even if I don't know what will be expressed in a given musing on a given day. Once the words are generated, however, getting them into a form to be published is completely under my control. I format and proof the material and I generate the required excerpts and descriptions. This is easier than most people might think. It really is easy to get published these days, and it does not take a lot of money. For $400, you can publish a book. I've chosen to do that seven times this year and am about ready to commit to an eighth. Will there be a return on my investment? The money is nothing compare to the hours that have been involved over the years. In fact there have been many more hours than dollars.

My the days fly by. We are already four days into the month. So far, we have a streak going ... but I wouldn't count on it continuing as long as some of the streaks in the past. It just doesn't seem to be as important anymore. We have shown what we can do for over 20 months. That is long enough to have established a pattern. That is not to say the musings will end anytime soon. It seems that they will at least continue through the end of the year. It is just that the sense of urgency has stepped down a notch. I can still feel it. I am still moved to come here to express. However, it seems that I could just as easily be moved to use the time on other Beyond Imagination endeavors. It is time for a new direction for this expression. I guess that could happen within the confines of the expression itself. Hmm ... I hadn't really thought of that. The other alternative is to consciously express in other ways. There are probably a host of other alternatives I haven't yet considered as well. We'll just have to see what I am moved to do. Right now, at this moment, this is it. What the morrow will bring, only spirit knows.

I really don't like the task of proofing, and I'm probably not the best at it. Yet, I don't have the resources to hire it out at the present time ... and I don't know anyone who would consider doing it on their own without compensation. So, as usual, that leaves me to do it. That gets to the issue of how do we make the work of Beyond Imagination more than an endeavor of one. Yes, I can do a lot. But, that is still highly limited compared to what a group cooperating together could achieve. How do I attract and organize such a group? Is that what is meant for Beyond Imagination? I strongly believe that it is ... though I have no evidence that would prove this yet, only an inner sense that what we are doing is meant to have world impact somehow, and that can't happen as a solitary endeavor.

My life has been so isolated to date that I really have no basis for understanding just how different things are going to be in my life in the future. The only thing that guides me is an inner knowingness that what I am experiencing right now is limited and is definitely not all there is. Spirit has more in store for me than this ... of that much I am sure. This expression is this prolific for a reason. Yet, there is also some reason that my nature is as solitary as it has been for my whole life. That I could reach this point and these conclusions given these conditions and experiences says a lot about the nature of consciousness and spiritual expression. Exactly what it says ... we'll leave that for you to determine for yourself. This expression gives you more than enough to draw conclusions from.

Expressing freely is a necessary condition for happiness for me, but it is not a sufficient condition. There is still something that is missing from my life ... something very important. If I knew what it was, I would be doing something about it. I know that it involves others somehow. It involves creating a community, a society that I would want to be a part of. We have a great deal of information about this at the Beyond Imagination site. The issue before us is how do we manifest it in flesh? How do we make it part of our reality?

What events would cause my life to open up? It seems that I can't necessarily count on outer events to do this. Then, what inner events would trigger these changes? Is this something that I can just consciously decide and then make so? Or, is there more to it involved than this? I'm really breaking new ground here. At 45, this is the first time in my life where I've felt so strongly that I need to connect with others somehow. You might say "It's about time". And, I guess you would be right. But, my life has been what it has been. Further, there is a sense that this is as it needed to be to allow me to develop into whom I have become. OK, perhaps not every aspect of it. But, much of it. We experience what we need to experience to learn and to grow into whom that we need to be to carry out our missions in the world. At least, that is how I see things from my perspective. I'm sure there are other perspectives. I'm sure there are others who are not as enamored of where there experiences have brought them as I am. But, we create the reality that we experience. And, we do this whether we believe that we do or not.

Life is unfolding before us each and every moment. And, what a grand process it is to behold. Spirit animates it all, every aspect of it ... the bad as well as the good. There is nothing but spirit in expression. Oh, in some areas things are far darker than in other areas. There is a play of light and dark that is underway. And we are the actors and players within that play ... creating and experiencing our reality. But, there is a playwright and a director pulling the strings behind the scenes. I consider this to be spirit herself or the one consciousness. How far does the play analogy go? How much of the play is planned out in advance? Are we as individuals part of that planning process? Do we participate consciously, other than consciously, or both? To what degree is free will allowed in the play? How much free will do we really have? How would we even know? It seems that most of the times there are so many factors in our decisions that it is not clear how we make them anyway. What would be the difference between making a choice and appearing to make a choice? We can never go back to the point of the choice and pick a different alternative.

Wow, how could I neglect to mention another major milestone yesterday? Book number three, 2003 Musings - Vol I was officially published. I consider a book published when it is available for purchase from the publishers online bookstore. How many people have published books? I would guess that this is a small fraction of the population. We now have three with a total of close to 1400 pages of nonfiction expression. We also have four more books in the publishers hands and a fifth that we should be able to send to the publisher next week. That gets us to our goal of publishing eight books in 2003. Though the final one should be published within a couple of weeks of the end of the year. Hmm ... Been there, done that, what's next? I don't know where that came from but all of a sudden it was there. But, there is a sense that it is time to move onto something new. And, I mean really new, something that I have not done before. It will be interesting to see what that is. I'm sure it will be revealed over time. However, it seems that this is something that I need to seek out as well. It is time to take a more active roll in what I am creating. I have allowed spirit to operate as she will in my life. That is all well and good. But, there are things that I can do just as well for myself ... and it seems time for me to start doing these. I need to reflect a bit on my life to see what these are. But the sense is that they will be fairly obvious once I go seeking for them.

Mu - sings of a Spiritual Warrior. Mu was another name for Lemuria, the lost continent. There is a sense that all of this is the song of Mu somehow. That is what consciousness is expressing here, at least to the degree that I can receive the message and serve as a channel for it. Interesting. There was a series of five books by James Churchward if memory serves me that dealt with Mu and its symbols. I recall reading them, but have no memory of what I read at this point. So many things have been ingested over the years that I have no idea where they went or how they got tied to other things in my framework. At this point, it doesn't seem to matter. I am what I am here and now ... and that is what I have to deal with. That is my present reality. Though, this reality is changing even as we speak and only partially by things that I am doing consciously. There is still a great deal going on at other than conscious levels behind the scenes. And, this is well and good. If we had to take care of the details for everything we would go nuts and never get anything done. It helps to trust that there is a host of unseen elves waiting to do our bidding. However, they get their direction not from what we say, but from what we believe.

Just checked. The next three books were sent to the publisher on July 7 and 8. It typically takes them around two months to do their thing and get a proof copy to me. That means we should see something in the next week or two at the latest on all three of these books. That should put them in the published category by mid-October. This will be a major step ... doubling the number of Beyond Imagination books. It is interesting that the total page count is approximately another 1400 as well bringing us to 2800.

But, will the books sell? Will they find an audience that they serve? I believe that they are original and have something to offer people. I know that they have offered me a lot over the years. I know that it is important to have examples of where other consciousnesses have been to allow us to grow and expand our own consciousness. That is the primary benefit of this expression. Here, I share whom that I am and what is able to be expressed from source through me freely and openly. I also invite feedback ... though it seems my invitations fall on deaf ears much of the time. That, or people simply aren't moved to provide such feedback. That is OK. I'll continue to express as I am moved to express anyway. There is a strong sense that we do this because we must. There is something about this expression that is important. Further, there is something about sharing this expression that is important. This is not just some diary that I am writing to for my own personal use. Nearly daily, I post what has come forth and make it available for the world to see. Why do I do that? Why am I moved to share in this manner? I've known since early on that this communication was not for me alone. The Beyond Imagination web site was created in 1995, and from that time on most of the Beyond Imagination expression has been captured as web pages and posted to the site as they were generated. Looking back, I believe this openness and willingness to share was instrumental in allowing much of the expression to come forth as it did.

How do we get people to visit Beyond Imagination and see the wealth of metaphysical material we have to offer? Literally, we have several thousands of pages of information in over 1000 files. Nearly all of the material came through me. All of the material came through since 5 March 1993. Most of the material is stream of consciousness expression, but it is my stream of consciousness ... and that seems to be unlike any other that I've encountered. Not that I've encountered many. As a hermit, I don't get out much ... except into the world of ideas and books. But even there, I haven't encountered anything similar to what is expressed through me. That doesn't make it superior in any way, it just makes it different. This is not surprising. I would be a unique individual and would choose to do things my way. Being normal or being part of the crowd do not appeal to me at all. Though, there is a part of me that would be happy to do my work in the background rather than in the limelight. Whether that will come to pass or not remains to be seen.

Well, we're off to a good start for the month. We haven't missed a day of expression yet. That despite the fact that we are busily working on the final touches to 2003 Musings - Vol II so that we can send it to the publisher this week. That will get us to our goal of eight books published for the year. That is an amazing feat especially since we didn't find out about self-publishing and begin in earnest until around March. Yes, that definitely makes this a year to remember. Further ... while the publishing side is done for the year due to the 3 month process time; there is still close to 1/3 of a year to do creative work and express what consciousness would express through us. Who knows what will be created in that time. Whatever it is will be the basis for works published in 2004. We're less than 4 months away and I still have no clue as to what the focus for 2004 will be. Why is that? Do I have a need to know? Apparently not. If I needed to know, I would know. My sense is that I am to live my life in the moment ... in the here and now, doing what I am moved to do in the moment, trusting that what I am moved to do is exactly what needs to be done. That doesn't mean that I should ignore any feedback from the world. Quite the contrary ... I am to invite it and use it to help guide my endeavors.

But what about plans? What about projections of how we would have things be in the future? How do we create change in line with our vision if we don't do the necessary planning and preparation now? I didn't specifically negate the need for such. However, whatever planning I need to do, I trust that I will be moved to do in the moment. It will be a natural extension of how I express in the world. Thus far, there hasn't been much of that. I have considered planning to be very much a future focused thing. The only part of it that is of value in the present is the definition of what actions we can take now to move in a direction towards achieving the objectives of the plan. And, we only want to do that if we buy into those objectives to begin with. Everything comes down to a vision. Do we buy into the vision or not? If so, we should be willing to do things that are consistent with manifesting that vision. Usually that involves doing something in a different way. For visions involving the infrastructures of society ... these are big things and big changes. It seems that small changes are simply not going to get us to where we need to be to facilitate the birth of a new age. Yet, who is empowered to make big changes? The answer is simple. Collectively, we all are!

Why is it that I am still effectively alone in this endeavor that is Beyond Imagination? I have been searching for kindred spirits for nearly a decade with whom to work on the variety of things addressed in this stream of consciousness expression. But my search has effectively been for naught. Why is that? What is the feedback that I am getting from this? Is it that this is meant to be a solo endeavor? I find that difficult to believe, yet I do have a very strong hermit nature that isolates itself from the very world that I care so much about helping. Curious, I would help even though I choose not to participate for the most part. No games. This is serious stuff of which we are speaking. My personality is such that it does not tolerate game-playing.

Everything is as it is for a reason. It is perfectly reflecting our beliefs about what reality should be both individually and collectively. That includes this expression. It has its reason for existence. I know that it has had a strong impact in my life. I suspect that it has had such an impact on others, though I know not whom nor how many. Further, the expression is such that it could have such impact long after I am gone. Whether it will or not remains to be seen. Much depends on what kind of an organization that I leave behind to carry on the work. This is the work of spirit that we are doing. It must be done. At least, that is my sense of things. This expression is something that I must do. Building the foundations for a new world is also something I must do. I am fully aware that this is no easy task. Further, I am aware that this is not something that I can do alone. Oh, there are some parts of it that I can accomplish by myself. But, the greater parts of the endeavor demand cooperative effort. Then again, why should that surprise us? The very endeavor should be an example of what we are trying to build and express in the world. Will we succeed? Of this, there is no doubt. There is a spiritual plan and destiny that is being enacted. We are but the players in that plan. We will do what must be done when it need be done. And, we will do it willingly and cheerfully or we will not do it at all. That is how spirit works. She doesn't force us to do things ... she gently nudges and allows us to do as we will. Yet, in the end everything unfolds as it is meant to unfold.

How can I be so certain that destiny will unfold in this manner? The chief answer is because I live in a world where spirit is expressing in flesh. Spirit came first. It's manifestation and expression in flesh is an activity of what it is. The whole goal of physical existence is the greater expression of spirit in flesh. We are ever in the process of building new forms that permit greater and greater spiritual expression. Regardless of appearances to the contrary, we are all spirit enfleshed, spirit having a physical experience. While we are physical, we are meant to be just that ... be physical. Though that does not mean losing sight of our spiritual nature as we do this.

What would our life amount to in the end? Within another month or so, I'll have six books published. By the end of the year, that will grow to eight. That is quite a physical legacy to leave. Even if I were to accomplish nothing else with the rest of my life, that would have been some accomplishment. But, that is not enough for me. In fact, this is only the beginning. There is a sense that I am to have a role in announcing to the world that these works are available. What role that will be remains to be seen. But, it just isn't going to happen by itself from what I can see. Here, it seems that it is up to me to do something to make things happen ... to spread the word and allow people to find Beyond Imagination and experience what it has to offer. My assessment is that it has much to offer. Though, it is difficult to be specific about just what that is. The expression is primarily a stream of consciousness ... and I am not privy to how it originates or why it is organized as it is. Even after ten years, this is all a mystery to me. I spend nearly 1/5th of my waking life engaged in it, but it is a mystery nonetheless. That is OK. There is nothing that says that we have to understand everything. It is enough that we can engage in the expression anyway. At least, so it seems for now. I am moved to express what would be expressed through me. And, I am moved to do it nearly daily. This has been going on for over 20 months already, with no signs that it will end anytime soon. Then again, it started without warning on 1 January 2002. It is curious that this would be the beginning of a year. But such it was. We don't have enough experience to know whether it will stop at some point in the future as quickly as it started. At this point, I doubt it ... but I have been wrong in such matters before. One way or another, it will unfold as it will. And, I will find a way to enjoy the process. Getting back to our starting question. Our works and the impact that our life has had on the lives of others constitute what our life amounts to. These are what survive us in the world. On the personal front, what we have done to "know thyself" and the decree of awareness that we have achieved are what we get to keep and take with us. Given this, it is very important to pay attention to what we are as consciousness enfleshed and what we do as consciousness expressed in flesh.

We still haven't been moved to do much to promote the Beyond Imagination books. Oh, we've added Published Books links and pages at the site. And, we've added a few reciprocal links to other sites. We've also advertised to generate a link from another site. Finally, we have a magazine ad for the Beyond Imagination site coming out in the Sedona Journal in Oct - Dec. Those are a few things that may generate some traffic and perhaps some sales. However, it seems that I should be doing more. I have 500 postcards and 1000 business cards for Best Passages from 2002 Musings. It doesn't do much good for them to be sitting on my desk. At the same time I have no clue as to who to send them to. The Beyond Imagination books are not ordinary books. It is not clear they will make it to the market in the ordinary ways. Though, if they are to get out based on my efforts, it seems that I'm going to have to start contacting a whole lot more people than I am accustomed to contact per day or per week. At this point, I just don't see that happening. I don't know how it would happen. Then again, if it is meant to be, it will be. I'm open to doing whatever is necessary for Beyond Imagination to succeed in its endeavors.

What is next? At this point, I really do not know. We'll get the eighth book into the publisher this week. We'll continue musing so long as we are moved to express in this way. We'll finish Beyond Mind. And, I'm sure that there are other projects that we will be moved to start. Late this week, I was thinking about creating a Top 100 quotes work ... created by selecting the best quotes from everything that has been expressed to date. That will not be particularly easy to do, first selecting the quotes from all of that material, and then ordering the quotes by importance or value. This would not be sufficient material for a book, but might make good first section for one. Also, it would be important to retain information on the source of each of these quotes so people could go to the appropriate material to explore further if they desired. Another benefit is that it is time to change the quotes on my wall. These would be strong candidates for wall quotes. I've already had a couple people ask me what some of my favorite quotes were. I didn't have a ready answer other than the dozen or so posted on my wall and reading these again last week ... several of them are suspect. They are good, but they are not great. They are not the best that I have done nor the best that I can do. Some of the calendar quotes are like that as well. Though, they are all thought provoking, and it is amazing that they could come forth through one person in just over three months. Then again, we have 883 passages for 2003 Musings - Vol I and another 660 for 2003 Musings - Vol II. At this pace, we'll have over 2100 passages for the year. That is simply amazing that spirit could come though so prolifically and profoundly. Yet, I watched it happen day by day ... musing by musing.

A week into the new month already. Where does the time go. It seems to fly by so fast. It was a very lazy day overall. I didn't do much of anything. Some days are like that. We can't be energized and motivated all the time, now can we? Though, I would very much like to be. So, what would it take to be that? It seems that if I had the right support group around me that would help a lot. But, how do I find or attract such a group? That does indeed seem to be the next step to take this expression. We need interaction and feedback to propel the expression forward in fresh new ways. I can only do so much on my own. Then again, perhaps I am placing limits on this expression that are not rightly there. Our challenge has always been to find our limits and to either overcome them or find a way to use them to accomplish what needs to be done. When seen from a different perspective limits are often tools.

How am I going to make people aware of the Beyond Imagination books? As the author, is that something that is my job to do? It seems that it shouldn't be, but it is. The stream of consciousness expression came forth through me. It is for me to share it with the world. Is the world ready to hear what I have to say? It seems that it must be. The very fact that I am so strongly moved to share this expression seems to indicate that the time is right somehow. Then again, this expression has been going on for over a decade already. What is different about now than at any time over the past decade. There just seems to be a sense of finality somehow, a sense that one phase is finished and that it is time for something new. The sense is that this will be a far more outgoing phase of expression. Though, exactly how that is to manifest I have no clue at the present. Perhaps it is time to start imagining something in this area.

What would it take to be happy? I haven't really asked myself before. What I do know is what I have in my life at the present time is not enough to ensure this. The weakest area is relationships. It seems that these are a necessary part of life but are virtually absent from my life. It is all my doing. It is all the result of choices that I have made. But, the bottom line is that I live a highly isolated existence and desire to change this. I have spent ten years sharing whom that I AM as intimately as I can. Though ... it is not clear with whom I have shared. The expression at Beyond Imagination is me. It tells you more about whom that I AM than most ever share. I know that it revealed a lot to me. I believe that it was meant to reveal a lot to others as well. One thing that is missing from my life is friends. That has been true for most of my life. Then, I have high ideals as to what constitutes friendship.

There is still a desire to play the Hermit role. Perhaps this comes from a belief that relationships are hard work and not necessary worth the effort required to develop and sustain them. Hmm ... with a belief like that, it is no wonder that I would steer clear of relationships. However, there is another difficulty. There is a fear of saying what I feel because either I don't want to hurt someone or because I don't want to be judged as selfish for feeling that way. It definitely makes my life a challenge. At some point, however, I am going to get fed up with it and do what it takes to change it. The benefits of living an isolated life pale by comparison with the benefits of living a life in community. I know this. I just need to make it a real part of my life. Part of that is to create the very community that I would choose to be an active member of. That is an interesting way of putting things. But that is what building the foundations for a new world is all about. I've known that is what I am meant to do for many years. Though, this is something I am meant to do with others ... this is not a task to be done solo. Are these others like me, figuring out that something is missing from there life as well and looking for others in a similar manner? It would seem that spirit would be directing all of us to find one another.

How does one whose nature is to be so isolated impact others in the world? Is it not enough for me to generate and share all of the words that I create and express ... or more correctly that spirit expresses through me. And, given that spirit is responsible for this expression, is she not responsible for its dissemination as well? Yes, but just as the expression is done through me, so the dissemination could be done through me too. One day at a time. It seems that is the guidance for the day. Take each day one day at a time. You will be moved to do what needs to be done. And, in the end everything will be expressed and manifested as required. The New Civilization Network is one place to start to look for likeminded others who have started organizations to do similar or compatible things. With over 8000 member organizations, there must be some that have similar objectives to those of Beyond Imagination. This could take some time. That is a lot of organizations to visit. But, they are all organizations that have chosen to become members. Also, if I'm going to be outgoing, I need to start showing a genuine interest in others.

Another day. The proofing is going per schedule. It looks like I'll be able to send 2003 Musings - Vol II to the publisher on Friday. That will make #8 for the year. Can we really be that close? Less than six months ago, none of this was even in the planning stages. But here we are. So what do we do to beat this? We've set the achievement bar quite high this year. Then again, all that matters is that we express in the moment as we are moved to express in the moment. That is what got me here. The sense is that I can trust this same process to work in the future as well.

Each revelation from consciousness takes us someplace new, someplace that we have never been before. That is one thing that I can count on from this stream of consciousness ... that it will carry me into the wilderness of the unknown. At times I have to doubt my very sanity, especially being bipolar. But, in the end it seems that I am sane after all. No, that doesn't mean that others necessarily think as I do ... but, that doesn't matter to me. This is not a popularity contest. I am a unique being. It is OK for me to experience my reality in a unique way. And what works for me can work for anyone.

The expression is flowing slower than normal tonight. Sometimes that happens. All that we can do is go with the flow. There is nothing that I've found that allows me to rush it. Whatever is expressed is meant to be expressed. No more and no less. It's not like there has been a shortage of words over the past decade. Though there have been stretches, sometimes even lengthy stretches where few words have come forth. The final half of 1998 through the end of 2000 were like that in particular. I still don't know why. But, I express more in a few weeks now than I did in any one of those three years. That makes me wonder whether the expression is cyclic. But, the sense is that it is not. There are too many factors at play for simple cycles to work anyway. That is OK. It is what it is. While the expressing is good, I'm happy to be the vehicle through which it can happen. If the lean times ever come, we have plenty of words to go back over and study. At this point we are at 3 million plus. I have no clue at how many more than that.

How many words will be expressed through me in my lifetime? If the past is any indication and my 25 year future life projection is reasonable ... we ought to be able to make it to 10 million. Wow! 10 million words in a lifetime of 35 years of expression. That's an average of 300 thousand words per year. That doesn't leave much time to rest. Though, at some point I expect to be doing this for a living not just as a spiritual obsession. Yes, it seems that it is somewhat of an obsession. It is something that I have to do. I have no sense of having much control over it anymore. Not that I would choose otherwise anyway. This expression is the most exciting part of my life. This is where I get to touch spirit firsthand and where I get to share whom that I AM with others. However, I am finding that something is missing in this. It is not as much fun if I don't get to share it firsthand with others ... in person. Yet, I do not know where to start in doing this. I don't know who to engage or how to engage them. That seems to be something someone far more outgoing would do. Can I even picture myself doing that? Or, is this something that will be done by others that I am meant to connect with? There are many ways for things to get done. I see myself working with an inner circle which in turn works with a much larger outer circle. Interesting. With how I operate around people, I can't really expect to remember more than a small number of people in an inner circle. It doesn't seem fair to address a larger audience under these terms.

I would build the foundations for a new world. In doing so, everyone is benefited whether they are aware of it or not. It is OK for me to work behind the scenes, incognito. But then, why do I need to express as I do here. This is clearly not incognito. Here, I open myself up to the world as much as I can. For over a decade I have been doing this. Why has there not been more feedback? Why have more people not responded to this expression? Surely it is not because it is not worthy of comment. Then why? Part of the problem is that our society typically doesn't provide feedback. It is by far the exception rather than the rule. It is time for this to change. We can't continuously improve things unless there is a feedback path. Collectively we are responsible for pointing out waste and inefficiencies so that we can improve these.

What next? Where do we go from here? The only thing that is certain is this expression. We should start to see royalties next month if the books are starting to sell. We won't know until we see the invoices from the publisher. The only book available for sale during July was Best Passages. It came out early in the month. The November check will cover two books, and the December check three books. I don't know whether the Published Books links at my site are having the desired effect or not. There should be some ratio of number of hits to the Beyond Imagination Main Page to number of books sold. At this point, I wouldn't even hazard a guess as to how many that might be.

The ninth day of the ninth month. That should be special for one who would be a hermit. Then again, that is what I have been to date ... not necessarily what I am to be in the future. What would come forth today? I came very close to deciding not to express at all. But when it came down to it, I was moved to come here after all. This is where I come to life. This is where my soul sings. This is where my spirit soars. How could I even think to choose otherwise? Yet, when I start, there is a commitment that goes with this. My 1000 word minimum is roughly 1.5 hours worth of expression on a normal day. So, just choosing to come here is effectively a tithe of my time for the day just to make my minimum quota. I've already spent nearly two hours on Beyond Imagination work ... primarily proofing 2003 Musings - Vol II. Though, it's as if that really doesn't count. That only results in some minor corrections. Here is where the new expression comes forth. Here is where the stream of consciousness is given the freedom to speak as it will. Yes, this is colored by my mind as it comes forth ... but less than you might think.

There is a strong sense that I need to start doing something different than I have done before. At this point, I don't know exactly what that is ... but the motivation is there anyway. I feel anxious and uneasy. There is something that I could be doing to facilitate making things happen that I am not yet doing. Further, it seems that it is something that is relatively easy ... something that even I could do. Then how can I be so dense as to be missing it? Sometimes we have to step back from the trees to see the forest. It seems that is the state that I am in right now. I am too close to it to see it. That's OK, I won't stay that way for long. My natural tendency is to observe from afar. If anything, I probably err in staying too far afar. What is it that I would do? I would build the foundations for a new world. But, what does that mean in practical terms? What foundations need to be built? And, how do we go about building them? We've addressed this many times throughout the Beyond Imagination material since the very first day of expression in 1993. Society, government, educational system, and economic system are four key foundations that need much work. They are not completely bad the way that they are. They serve a few well, some adequately, many OK, and many poorly. This is simply not good enough. It is time that we realize this and demand something better. Unless we do so, those in power will do what they can to retain the status quo. This we do not have to allow. The world can be a better place. But, it will only be one if we choose to do what it takes to make it one.

Consciousness is patiently waiting for the organizations to be created that allow it to be more fully expressed in flesh. These organizations are groups of people cooperating together to create something that is greater than any of the individuals could have created alone. As to what these creations will be ... that is wide open. Ultimately were talking about goods, services, and experiences that could not otherwise exist at a comparable cost. Where do I find the people with whom I am meant to build such organizations? Surely they must be out there. Surely they must be looking for me even as I am looking for them. I have trusted leaving such meetings to consciousness to arrange in the past. Is that too much to ask? Do I need to play a more active role in this? The very fact that I am asking the question now seems to indicate that indeed there is some role that I must play here. That is OK. I believe that I am ready to do that now, more than I have ever been. Interesting. This seems to be part of the changes that are in store for the times ahead. It seems that I am to play a much more active role in my own life. Part of this is increased conscious control over the process of reality creation. I'm still not sure how much conscious control I really want. It seems that a little goes a long way, but too much is too much. Actually, the conscious control is there in many respects. It is just not immediate. There is a time lag between believing something and seeing it manifest in our reality. This lag can be from months to days to hours in some cases. It seems some people are naturally better at this than others.

Why am I not more aware of my dreams? Surely I dream. Everyone does. I must be doing something during the eight hours plus per night that I am sleeping. Yet, with rare exceptions, I have no recall of dreaming or of dreams that I have had. I have heard that dreams are how we integrate and digest some of our experiences. That being the case, I would think that my dream life would be more active than most because my spiritual life and imagination are more active than most. But, this is not what I experience. In fact, I don't experience dreams involving images or vision much at all. I can count such dreams on one hand. That is how rare my recall is of them. I do love the halfway between awake and sleep state however, and am one to frequent the snooze button on the alarm. This keeps me in a semi-dream state, but I don't see images. I'm not one that can close my eyes and imagine or picture things. Similarly, I can't look at an empty room in a house and imagine what it would be like in a different color or filled with particular furniture. That is simply not how my Mind's Eye works. Though I know of others who have vivid imaginations and dreams.

Yes, I missed a day of musing. There was no good reason for it. I was simply not moved to write ... so I took the evening off and vegged out watching TV. Hmm ... today marks the second anniversary of a day that lives in infamy. The horror of what a few terrorists were able to do is etched in our memories. The visions of planes crashing into buildings and two tall towers crashing to the ground. These will stay with us forever as we remember all those lost in this great tragedy. However, terrorism no longer seems to be as strong of a threat. I guess that means the war on terrorism is working. Though it has been a very costly war. But, we do what we have to. And, it seems that where we apply resources, we generally get results ... especially when we employ our best and our brightest.

I started my day much earlier than normal today. I actually got into the office at 6:30 for a 7:00 meeting. Most mornings, I don't even get up at that time. Actually, it wasn't that bad. I went to bed earlier than normal and got up 15 minutes before the alarm clock was set to go off. That does make me wonder. If I can do it one day, why can't I do it on a regular basis. Even if I used the morning time to write before going to work, that would be a productive use of the time and would get me off to a running start each day. There is something different about the early morning hours. The energy is different. It would be interesting to see how that impacts what gets expressed. I won't know unless I try it. Why not? At this point, I have nothing to lose. My time is my own anyway. I can do what I want with it.

What would be expressed today? We finished 2003 Musings - Vol II today. It is ready to go to the publisher tomorrow. That makes eight books for 2003. That should be sufficient to ensure that we meet our objective of eight books published in 2003. When I set it several months ago, that was a very lofty goal. Now, it seems it is a reality. It wasn't magic. I just had to commit to do it. Then again, much about this expression is magical. I am constantly amazed by what is able to come forth. However, it doesn't really surprise me anymore. I have come to expect it. One can do far worse than to have spirit as an active force in one's life.

There is a sense that today marks a new beginning somehow. Completions always involve new beginnings. Yet, the sense is that this involves a jump into the unknown somehow. It is time to do something different. What I have been doing has worked well to this point, but it also limits me. It is time to do things in a manner that serves me and better serves spirit. I am free to do this now. It is a matter of allowing it to happen. Some part of me knows exactly what needs to be done. No, clearly I don't consciously know what this is. But, some part of me knows ... of that I am certain. Further, I trust myself enough to allow that part to express naturally in my life. I accept the fact that my conscious awareness of myself is limited. I accept the fact that there are parts of me that know how to do things that I have no clue about, and further can do them well. I don't even need to know what they are for them to work their wonders in my life. I just need to be open and allow. We are truly magnificent creatures when we allow ourselves to be. Unfortunately, most are not aware of just how magnificent they are. This is a shame. This is a failure of our educational system. It fails to teach us the most important thing ... whom that we are. Perhaps it is to much to expect it to teach us this. However, it should at least point us down the path toward finding it out ourselves. Know Thyself! That is the most important thing that education should address.

I wonder whether I'll have books from the publisher to proof this weekend? It has been about two months. The sooner my children are published the sooner they can go to work earning an income for Beyond Imagination. We need funds to make things happen. Though, other that freeing ourself from the current job ... we haven't thought much about what we would do if substantial funds were to start coming in from the sales of published books. Though, I'm sure it wouldn't take long to come up with ideas for projects ... even if we were talking about large sums. We can always hope. Who knows? With eight books, there is the potential for substantial sales. We'll know as time unfolds.

What will I be doing six months or a year from now? I really do not know. I have no clue as to what I will be moved to express. The sense is that it is time for a major change, but I don't know what that is to be. 2004 is to be different than 2002 and 2003. But, how specifically is it to be different? How will this impact how I live, how I work, and how I express? It seems that it is time for an outward thrust somehow. This was initiated this year and will continue in the coming months. But, the bulk of it lies in store for 2004. What will we manifest? Yes, there is a sense that by then this will truly be a WE endeavor. Interesting. That suggests that I have some important folks to meet in the coming months. I look forward to that. In fact, I can't wait. It's about time.

Missed another day of expression. I knew I should have got an early start. I had a wisdom tooth removed. The operation took over 3.5 hours and didn't leave me in any condition to muse for the evening. It is not bad now ... there is a little swelling but not much pain. Though opening my mouth is a bit difficult after having to keep it open for so long yesterday. If that is what extracting a tooth is like, I hope never to have to undergo that again. It definitely wasn't the most pleasant of experiences.

On the positive front, Best of Notes - Books I and II were waiting for me when I got home on 9/11. I love the covers. I did a quick proofing focusing on format issues and sent the approval forms with correction sheets back to the publisher. Both books should hit the streets in about three weeks. That gets us to 5 on our way to 8 for the year. I sent 2003 Musings - Vol II to the published yesterday as well. That means the final 3 works are all at (or on the way to) the publisher. I expect the proof copy for Beyond Imagination Quotes to arrive anytime now. The work was submitted one day after the two Best of Notes books. I also got three original copies of 2003 Musings - Vol I with the right cover. I've been negligent in sending copyright forms and copies to the Library of Congress. I'll have to start doing that again.

Enough for book work. It is on track for achieving the objective of eight published books in 2003. The bigger question is what is next? Where does this expression go from here? What are we to do to ensure that the books reach their intended audience? Do we even know what that is? We have been expressing for over a decade. One would think that by now we would have some idea as to whom we were expressing to. Yet, it seems such is not the case. We express as we do, and we make that expression available on the WWW and now as books. But, we don't know enough people to have any real clue as to who might consume this expression. Yet, we feel strongly moved to capture it and to share it anyway. For one thing, it provides us with a record of where this consciousness has been. And, it is a record that we return to often. Can others benefit from what is captured as well? It seems that yes, there is great value in surfing the waves of consciousness of others. This has the potential to expand our own states of consciousness ... and such expansions are always good.

There is still a sense that it is time for an outward thrust to this expression. Posting to the WWW and publishing books are good starts, but they are not enough. We need to personally engage with others somehow. This is a stretch for us. In fact, I don't really know where to start. However, if it is like the rest of my life to date, what I need to do will naturally reveal itself and unfold. Typically, I don't have to work to make things happen, I just need to do what I am moved to do and allow them to happen. Though, don't get me wrong ... doing what I am moved to do may require working very hard at times. That is OK. I am not averse to hard work when it is necessary, especially when it is fulfilling work. So, what is this outward thrust that is required? How are we to spread the word of the Beyond Imagination site and works? What more do we need to express that would make the message more palatable to the masses? Is that even necessary? Who are we meant to touch and in what ways? What are the best ways to go about doing that? I can ask the questions ... but I have no clue as to the answers at the present time. Though, usually when I am ready to ask the questions, the answers are forthcoming shortly. Whether this is a day, a week, a month, or a season ... I don't really know.

This expression continues to be my primary outlet of expression. It seems that we will indeed have a 2003 Musings - Vol III. It won't be published until April 2004, but it will wrap up the trio of Musings books for 2003. There is a sense that this is starting to change however, that sometime in the next four months I will start expressing in new ways. Finishing Beyond Mind is one example. I'm sure there will be others as I give myself the freedom to do things differently. If I could make enough from this to make it my full time job ... who knows what I could accomplish. But, it seems that we would need some sort of a marketing arm to take the works published as they are produced. I don't believe I'm the best person to do that. I probably could if I had to ... but why should I have to when there are others far more suited to doing that who can't do what I do. Here, it seems that cooperative interdependence should apply. It is time to connect with others in a cooperatively interdependent way to start creating the foundations for a new world in which spirit can express more fully in flesh. It is not just any revolution that we are seeking, it is a spiritual revolution. These are both the easiest and the most difficult to achieve ... the easiest because spirit herself is behind our endeavors, the most difficult because most individuals are not operating from spiritual levels of awareness in their day to day lives.

We have become used to giving nearly three hours of our day to this expression. Yes, that is more than a tithe of the total time available per day and nearly two tithes of the waking time available. That is a major commitment. That is the reason that the productivity is as it is. Where we focus our resources, where we focus our energy ... we achieve results. But, how do we take that the next step and expose others to these works? Is that meant to happen? I desire it to be so? But, is that what spirit has in store? Not my will but thine be done. I am content with whatever spirit has in store. Though there is a sense that my will is now a tool of the will of spirit as well. As such, it can be used to do her will. In practical terms, my obligation is to do as I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. That typically doesn't come with much advance warning. Our lives are meant to be lived in the now. This is where the point of power lies.

It is the intensity of this expression that allows it to achieve what it does. The sense is that if this were not a daily expression the richness of what is expressed would be greatly reduced. The regularity adds something. Also, the nature of the expression as stream of consciousness makes it special. Since the beginning, there has been no need to organize the material in any manner. It came through as it was meant to come through. And it was shared as it came through. That saves a lot of work. But, that also means that there is some intelligence that is responsible for originating all of this. I would like to say that this "intelligence" is mine. But, that is not how I experience it ... not consciously anyway. That doesn't mean that it isn't me. It could be that I am just not consciously aware of the source from which this flows. I don't interact with others enough to know whether they experience what they express in this manner as well. I expect that they do ... though they might not be aware of that either. For many, the fact that it comes forth through their mind is sufficient to make it theirs. However, I make a distinction between what I am consciously aware of and what I am not consciously aware of. At this time, it seems the distinction is important ... at least to me. This distinction involves the limits of my awareness, and for me, awareness is extremely important. It is what the whole process of life is all about ... ever increasing awareness, and ever increasing expression of spirit in flesh. Though individual expression is not enough. We are in the process of building the foundations for social expression of spirit in flesh. This will happen through the organizations that we are able to create that facilitate this. These don't have to be large organizations. As few as two people operating in a cooperatively interdependent way can create something greater than either could create alone. With a dozen or a dozen dozens, the added value of synergy is truly phenomenal. The bottom line is that it doesn't take millions or even hundreds of thousands to create massive change. As few as dozens or hundreds may be sufficient in most areas if we organize effectively. However ... note that it takes more than one. This expression alone, no matter how voluminous is not sufficient to create the change that we are talking about. The most that it can do is reach some of those who are ultimately to organize to create change and move them to take action. That will have to be enough.

What is my role in the times to come? I will continue to express as spirit moves me to express for so long as I am so moved. At this point I have no idea as to how long that will be. It seems that we can express silently in musings and in books. But, we may also be moved to express more openly in interactions of various types with others; whether that is in classes, interviews, or other promotional appearances for Beyond Imagination. It is interesting that I consider the musings and the books silent. But, these are unilateral expressions. They are effectively done in a vacuum. There has been limited feedback to date to come from their expression. There is a sense that I will be moved toward more outer expression. This is not likely to be something that I will prefer ... but it will be something that I can do competently. And, that is good enough. It seems that my hermit nature is engrained. It is not something that I'm going to outgrow with time. It is for me to make the best of it and use it to maximum advantage in my life. This is not a burden or a hardship in any way. It is simply part of whom that I am ... and an important part at that. How does one who is essentially a hermit by nature reach out to the world and interact? My chosen method has been to capture this expression and post it at the Beyond Imagination site ... and more recently to publish it in a series of Beyond Imagination books. The Main Page at the site gets approximately 2000 hits per year, but I don't know how many of those are repeat visits. We won't know until next month whether people are moved to buy the Beyond Imagination books. And even then, we only have data for the first book available for the last two weeks in July. The November accounting may be more representative with two books available for most of August. Royalties are paid at the beginning of the month for the month ending two months prior. The October period will be my first opportunity for a royalty check assuming sufficient sales to reach over $20 in royalties.

I haven't done much to promote the Beyond Imagination books yet other than creating pages at the Beyond Imagination site that announce them and doing a few things to try to bring more people to the Beyond Imagination site. Is this enough? It was what I knew how to do. It was what was under my control to do. To do more, I need to find ways to involve others somehow. This is always difficult for me. Actually, it has been difficult. That doesn't mean that it has to continue to be so in the present or in the future. The future is what we make of it. That is how the game of reality creation works. We need to watch for disempowering beliefs and replace them with more empowering ones when we find them. We are always free to do this. Beliefs are a matter of choice. And, it is through beliefs that our reality is constructed.

Another day in which to express as consciousness would have us express. We have 23:wayne to the right of September and 41:Wayne to the left. That happens 12 times this year, once each month ... but this is the first time that I have noticed it. Interesting that it would be in the ninth month. 2341 has come up before. It is 925(16). Reversed we have 529 which happens to be 23 x 23. I am ever fascinated by how numbers appear in my life in various contexts and associations. No matter how much time I spend examining them ... there is always more to uncover and discover. Often I get to places where I don't necessarily know the specific meaning, but I have an inner sense that I have reached what I was meant to reach. It may take hours, days, weeks, months, or even years for the full meaning to reveal itself. But I trust that each piece will ultimately have its place. My job is to continue to do as I am moved to do. This includes following the trails of consciousness to wherever they lead.

My life is only partially mine. A large part has been given to the universe to do spirits bidding. I do this willingly and joyfully. I cannot think of a more fulfilling way to live my life and expend my energies. To date, the greatest part of this endeavor has been stream of consciousness expression that began in 1993 and continues to this day. Perhaps such will always be the case. Though the sense is that writing may not be sufficient for much longer. Hmm ... I wonder what would come next. I'm not sure that I know how to express other than to write. Though, if it is meant to be, it will be. I have been surprised by some of the talents that I have found before. Why should this be any different? How would I express this stream of consciousness other than in words? Clearly pictures and art are out of the question. But, spirit must have something in mind to express in this manner. Then again, maybe that's just her way of shaking me up a bit. Words seem to be perfectly adequate for conveying what is being conveyed at the moment. So long as that is the case, it seems that they will be employed to do what they can do though me. There is no sense that this channel is going to be turned off or even turned down anytime soon. If anything, the sense is that it is to be turned up allowing even more to pour forth. That seems to be strictly a matter of how much time I am willing to give to this expression. I make the choice to come here and to stay here for some amount of time. That enables what comes through to come through as it does. I am willing to make this choice because I am pleased by what comes forth and I know that it could not come forth in this manner in any other way.

We speak of a vision of what is to be in the Aquarian Age. Perhaps it is time that we collect some of the many passages that express elements of this vision and put them in one place for easy access. This is something I can do. Further, it seems that this is something that needs to be done. Along with this vision should be a statement of what we expect from people. Living in accord with the vision is a two way street. Society provides services to the citizenry, but the citizenry needs to give something back to the society in return. Actually, it is more than this ... collectively, we the people are the society. It is not some thing that is separate from us. Similarly, we are the economy, or the labor that generates the goods and services that the economy provides to the members of society. We do all of the work necessary to meet the collective needs of all of us. Depending on how you look at it, you might judge us to be doing a good job, a mediocre job, or a poor job at this. Looking at the diversity of goods and services that are readily available on the free market ... one might think that we are doing a good job here. However, when you consider that we have homeless people, people going hungry, sick people without medical care, people without work etc ... we could do much better. And, that is in this country. When we look at third world countries, the poverty, misery, and lack are far worse. Yet, who makes it their responsibility to address this? Foreign aid rarely gets down to dealing with the problems at this level.

Each of us is responsible for our own reality. But, to what degree are we responsible for the collective reality experienced by those around us? We create our reality both individually and en masse. We can choose to do things that make a difference for the collective reality. We don't have to do everything. It is enough for us to do our part. We will know what that is. It will be what feels right for us to do. It may require a stretch beyond what we have done before. That is OK, do it anyway. The reward is well worth it. The primary reward is an increased level of fulfillment. Beings high on the realization scale find fulfillment to be a powerful driver for behavior. For some, it becomes the most powerful motivator.

What next? Where do we go from here? How do I make things happen that I want to see happen? How do we make Beyond Imagination a positive force for change in the world ... a far more vocal and outgoing force than we have seen to date? How do we build the foundations for a new world? How do we find the people with whom we are meant to work on this? These questions all imply that I am to have a major role to play in all of this. I still believe this to be true. I know that it is grandiose of me to think so ... but I am not your average being. I wouldn't have come in with such special talents and abilities if I did not have a special role to play. Yes, we all have special roles ... but it seems that some are more special than others.

Where is the month going? It is already halfway over. That only leaves 3.5 months remaining in the year. Actually, that is enough time to do a lot when I consider how much I've done since 1 June. It will be interesting to see what I am moved to do and what I am moved to express in that time. It is interesting looking over to the credenza in my office at the lineup of five Beyond Imagination books. In chronological order, they just happen to line up in terms of increasing page count as well. 288 - 350 - 450 - 522 - 586. That's a lot of pages. But, that is only the half of it ... literally. The final three books are all in the 560-610 range. That makes for one heck of a year. I would not have believed it possible if I did not see it happen before my eyes. Yes, it helped that much of the work was expressed in prior years and only needed to be collected, formatted and proofed. Though proofing is no easy task. But, someone has to do it ... and thus far, I have been both the writer and the editor of these works. Though, I have not been moved to do any serious editing. The material is presented as it was expressed through me. This is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, I do not direct it or organize it. I allow it to flow as it will trusting that it is being organized by a force greater than I know. To date, this source has not led me astray. Indeed, she has produced works that I simply marvel at. Often, I ask how is it that such could come forth through me? There must be a reason that I am the vessel through which the expression occurs as it does. I must have done something right to deserve all of this. I am deeply grateful that I am the one selected for this. Whether I volunteered or selected myself, I don't really know. Nor does it matter. What does matter is that spirit is an active force in my life. She has been for many years, and I suspect she will be for the remainder of my life. I have chosen to serve her in the greatest manner that I can.

At the rate that we are expressing, a week can be an eternity. There is so much to do. But we would not do for the sake of doing. We would do because there is some spiritual benefit to be gained from what we do. Ultimately, the sense is that this expression has that benefit though with a time lag. Is there something that I can do about that? Is there some way I can bring the message of Beyond Imagination to more people in a more direct way? The very fact that I'm asking the question suggests that the answer is indeed yes. That begs the question of how? If I think about it, I'm sure that something will come to me. How do I more fully express whom that I AM? That is what is at the heart of the issue. In doing that, I maximize what I allow spirit to express through me. That is living at my finest. That is living in accord with the directive - be all that you can be. This directive applies to each of us. However, there is a collective responsibility to provide and infrastructure, an environment that facilitates this. Presently, that does not exist. We have to work too hard to express whom that we are. This should be easier ... much easier. It is a matter of where we choose to employ resources. How do we choose where to employ collective resources? Right now, the only control I have is over my own time and my own attention. Though I can impact others with my words and my deeds. In particular, as a wayshower, by my example I demonstrate what living a life of spirit is all about. Though, we all live lives of spirit in our own way. Many just are not aware of this. If they were, they might just make different choices in their lives.

Not that I would wish my life upon anyone. It isn't particularly difficult. But, it does have its challenges and its trying times. It is not enough for me to lead an average or mediocre life. I know that I have been given gifts that make allow me to stand apart from others ... gifts that provide me with the means to make my mark upon the world. I would consider my life to be a failure were I not to find a way to use these gifts in a manner that made a great difference to the world somehow. Yes, a great difference. A little difference is not sufficient given my potential. I would assess that I am doing the right kinds of things to have this kind of impact. The decade long expression that is Beyond Imagination is a case in point. While it has not reached as many as I may have liked, there are still many more years to go in which its impact may be felt ... and all the while we will have new monitions of consciousness to express and to share. Hopefully, we will start seeing more involvement with others ... more of a communication, and eventually the creation of a community. That is where the principles, the theory, hit the reality. Though it seems we will find that this will be with far more fluidity than many suspect ... for the time is right for the changes to manifest. It is time for creating the foundations for a new world. It is time for giving birth to a new age. The dawning has gone on for long enough. It is time for the long-awaited dawn to finally arrive. And, so it will ... in magnificent order, as befits it.

What is my role in all of this? Why am I singled out to express in this manner? No one else that I know thinks as I do or expresses as I do. That doesn't matter. That doesn't stop me from doing what I am moved to do. There is an inner force that drives me. This is simply something that I must do. It is an integral part of the road towards fulfillment for me. I can't imagine what my life would be like without this expression. It is such a huge part of my life. It is such a huge part of whom that I AM. This is how I express to the world. It doesn't matter that the world doesn't see the expression yet ... or barely sees it. When the time is right the word will get out and the people who are meant to find me and find this expression will indeed do so. There is nothing that I can do to prevent that. But, at the same time it seems that there is little that I can do to promote it either. Though that is a serious belief that I need to deal with. As I believe, so shall I experience. It seems that there is something holding up the release of the floodgates. I don't know what that is. But, there is a sense that everything is ready to be unleashed. It is just a matter of pulling the plug or flipping the switch. But, I don't quite see how to do that ... and I don't see anyone being able to help me with it. Hmm ... it seems this is something I'm just going to have to figure out myself.

Why me? What makes me so special as to warrant such a direct relationship with consciousness herself? The bottom line is I don't know why, I just am. This is something I simply have to accept. At times it can be difficult to accept. But then I look at everything that has been expressed since 1993 and am blown away by what spirit is able to produce through us. When we cooperate with consciousness, she can be quite prolific. Not that I have anything to compare it to. I did not have any creative output expression of my own prior to 1993. And, the only "comparable" works that I am aware of from others are in the many books that I have read. Seeing five books displayed on my credenza and knowing that three more will be there before the end of the year was awe inspiring. If my calculations are right, that will put us at around 4000 published pages for the year. That is phenomenal. That just about catches me up in terms of publishing the works that have been expressed at Beyond Imagination. Further works will require additional creative effort on my part. And here, we run into the limits of available time. That is, unless we can find a way to free up more time for this expression. We can always find more time to do those things that are important for us to do. It is all a matter of priorities. When you think about it, 16 hours of waking time per day x 70 years is a lot of time to do stuff. Even if we don't get started until we are 35 as in my case, though I did read and study a lot for the 20 years prior to that ... that still leaves 35 years to strut our stuff and do the works of our lives. We may have to do this while we are busy doing other things such as holding down a job and/or raising a family. But, such is what we must do. We must find what really matters to us and find a way to do it. If we are lucky, we will find a way to make our life's work our livelihood as well. Though, it seems that many never make it that far. That doesn't mean it can't be done. Nor does it mean that it is difficult to do. It is just that if we want to manifest it in our lives, we have to do what it takes to make it so.

At 45, my sense is that I have another 25 good years in me to do what I came to do. That is sufficient time, but there is not much time to waste. I need to be vigilant. I need to stay focused and keep doing those things that I am moved to do. I would hope that eventually I will be able to plan my activities for some time in the future. However, right now, the focus is still on the here and now ... what can be done in the present. A quarter of a century seems like a long time. However 45/70 = 9/14 = 64 percent of my life complete. That is close to two-thirds. When you look at it that way, it is somewhat humbling. Though if the past 10 years is any indication, we have a lot of life yet to live. In fact, we have only just begun in many respects. 1993-2003 were the years of Beyond Imagination expression. There is a sense that 2004-2028 are to be the years of Beyond Imagination manifestation. There is a difference between expression and manifestation. It is the later that makes things real. That is what comes next ... reality creation. It is time to decide what it is that we would create both individually and en masse.

It is for me to help bring forth a vision of what is to be ... and then to take the actions necessary to start making that vision a reality in the world. Yes, this is something I can do. Hmm ... the sense is that I don't even need anyone's help to do this. I only need my own permission, along with the belief that I can do it. Interesting. We have been speaking of needing society and organizations. This may help, but in the beginning the sense is that this is not necessary. You will be amazed by what one person can do. Though, what many can do is even more amazing. So now we have the dilemma of the hermit versus society to deal with. Would I be my own society or can I find a way to exist within a larger society? Eventually, the later needs to be the modus operandi. However, how long can we operate in the former manner? It is easier to operate when the resources are solely under my control. However, the resources are more limited thereby limiting what can be accomplished. More and more, I desire to be free of such limits.

The 16:Tower day in a 9:Hermit month. It will be interesting to see what that brings. There is more of a sense of isolation than normal this month. I'm being forced to face just how alone I am not only in this endeavor but in my life. I have done a wonderful job in isolating myself ... so wonderful that it will be a challenge to overcome this should I finally decide that such is really what I want to do. I am very close to making that decision. It seems that I can only do so much operating alone. I need to expand my connections to others if my impact is going to be felt on a larger scale ... and I sense that such is destined. It is not something that I can avoid even if I wanted to ... which I don't. I would do what I must do to achieve the purposes that I came to fulfill. My sense is that at least some of these involve others in some capacity. Where do I go to find these others? What can I do to accelerate or facilitate what we are meant to do together? Things will unfold in their own timing. They cannot be rushed. They will happen when the time is right and not until. That answer is not really an answer however. It leaves me in an indefinite waiting loop. Though I have been in this loop for a long time ... and that has not stopped me from expressing what needed to be expressed through me. Why should now be any different. It is enough to continue to express as I am moved to express. It is enough to give this stream of consciousness that would express through me voice. In doing that, I do my part somehow. Oh, I may be moved to do other things a well. But this is one thing that is easy for me to continue to do. All that it takes is the discipline to set aside the time to come here each day to express. And, what else do I have to do with my time that is of comparable importance? The bottom line is nothing.

There is something about capturing a record of my consciousness on a regular basis that is important somehow. This is an augmentation to my memory ... capturing things that I would never remember otherwise. I benefit from being able to go back as see what was expressed. I would hope that others would benefit from seeing the perspective of a different consciousness ... one captured in daily snapshots. I know that it would have helped me to read such works as mine when I was growing up to give me some idea as to what consciousness was capable of. It would have stretched my concepts even more than they were stretched by the many metaphysical books that I read. But, I had to wait until I could generate them to be able to read them. Interesting. But this seems appropriate somehow. It is as if I am creating the very reality that I need to experience. And, not surprisingly, that is exactly what I am doing. But, not just me, that is what are all doing. Everything that happens in our lives is drawn there by our beliefs about ourselves, our world, our reality, and reality creation. We experience what we expect to experience, what we believe that we will experience.

In about three weeks we'll jump from three published books to five published books. It takes that long for the publisher to implement the final changes. Then we are down to three remaining books for the year. The proof copy for Quotes should arrive from the publisher at anytime. The Search for Center follows that by about three weeks. And, 2003 Musing - Vol II should be ready to proof around Thanksgiving. That rounds out the year. Though, I expect to finish Beyond Mind in the next two months as well. Then, it seems that it is time to do some soul searching and see what works are meant to happen next. It seems that things are sort of wide open. There are many potential directions to head in but only some of them are right for me at this time. I trust that I will recognize what these are when I see them. There is a part of me that knows. I have learned to access this part and give it voice in my life. It generally comes from inside via my intuition. Will there be some point in time where metaphysical author becomes my primary job rather than systems engineer? How many books must I write to make that so? Is any quantity enough? What makes a successful author? Clearly, it is not having books published. Similarly, what makes a successful writer? Clearly, it is not number of words expressed. What else is needed? What else is there that I must do? One sense is that we can wait and see. But, another sense says that it is in our hands to do something now. We create our own reality. It is time to make something happen. It doesn't really matter what at this point. Something, ... anything is enough. But what would we do different than the things that we are already doing. Unless we do something different, we will keep getting what we have always gotten. If we want something new we must stretch somehow ... we must become more than we ever were before. In doing so we reach new heights of self and new heights of expression.

Consciousness is my rock. She is my foundation. With her, I soar to heights Beyond Imagination and dream of things that have never been. Yet I know that my dreams foretell of a time to come, and of a world to come. It is there just beyond my grasp but it is there just as vivid and real as anything in this world. It calls to me to assist in giving it form, to assist in planting it firmly on the ground, to assist in making it real. Can I do this? Are there practical steps that I can take to accomplish these? Is this what I am meant to do? I would do what I am moved to do. I would do what I am destined to do. And, I would do it gladly. But, what is it that I am destined to do? How am I to know this other than seeing it happen as it unfolds in my life? It seems that it is about time for me to know. I want to know. I believe that I could be is greater service if I knew. At some level, the sense is that I already know this. It is just a matter of making the knowledge conscious. Interesting, I'm barely conscious as I am writing this. It makes for some interesting errors to correct.

Just checked ... using Google to search for Wayne Hartman or for Beyond Imagination results highly ranked entries of the Index page. One of them was at the top of the list. That surprised me considering that I still have limited connectivity from external sources. But how would anyone know to search for me that way unless they already knew me? Hmm ... just tried "Reality Creation". That will get you to Reality Creation 1010, number 3 on the list. There are other standard phrases that I use, but it seems that many of them are used by others as well. I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! is one of these. In Peace, Love, and Light is another. The only one that seemed to be unique was one that I started with when the expression began -- Be Happy and Create Well! It seems that no one else is using that one yet. Searching is definitely a challenging way of finding information. It can also be time consuming and even wasteful if we are not careful in how we do it. Though as long as we are getting results and enjoying the process, that is all that really counts.

I can find my own material because I know what to look for. But have I made it easy for someone who might have no clue that this material is out there to come into contact with it. Having to rely on the hit and miss nature of search engines seems wrong somehow. I should have more input and more control over the process than that. That means that I need to find ways of exposing people to what is at the Beyond Imagination site. How do I go about doing that? The site clearly is not for everyone. But, what subset of people does it target? What is the candidate audience for what it has to offer? This does not mean they will all necessarily be interested in what is offered, but they should be given the chance to explore and decide for themselves if the site has anything to offer them. I have given a lot of myself to this expression. That should be obvious. I continue to give in this manner because it is the one thing that I know that I can do that I feel to be of lasting value. There is a sense that this will change in the coming months, that somehow we shall start to be involved in organizations that are established to do things to create the foundations for a new world. We are not asking for much. We ask that our efforts make a difference, that they have world impact somehow. Yes, that is a lot to ask of anyone. At the same time ... we are not just anyone. We came with a specific purpose and mission ... one that would ultimately impact the world in a highly positive way. Nothing can keep us from doing what we came to do. We are that committed to carrying out our mission in this existence.

How can I know all of this? How do I know that I am not deceiving myself and wasting my life working towards something that I don't really need to be doing? I only know what I feel and what I know deep inside of me. I would be whom that I AM. I would do that which I came to do. Sometimes I know what that is ... often I do not. But, I know that I can count on my inner self to let me know what I need to know when I need to know it. This is a powerful process to have working for you in your life. Many are not connected to their inner self. Further, many who are connected have not found a knowing source and/or have not developed a level of trust. All in good time. But, the sooner the better. We need to have spirit operating in our corner ... completely, especially given the complexities of the world in which we live.

I speak with a voice that seems to have experience that extends beyond my years and beyond my current lifes experiences. How can this be. How is it that I know what I know? How is it that so much of this expression is expressed in the declarative? There is no preceding it with "in my opinion" or "I have observed that" or "perhaps things work like". No, what is stated is emphatic. It is what it is. It is not wishy-washy in stating what would be expressed. For ten years we have been coming here to allow the source of this stream of consciousness to be expressed through us. Will we continue to do that for another ten years ... another twenty-five years ... to the end of our days? We can only watch the drama unfold and see what happens. But, what about free will? Don't I have a role in creating all of this? Hmm ... does a pencil have a role in creating what is written on a page? Yes, it is a necessary instrument. But, do I truly have a choice not to express? That would be like asking me not to breathe. Maybe worse ... this expression is that important to me. There is a very real sense that I would die spiritually without it. Perhaps that is too harsh an assessment. But the spiritual is far stronger than any other force in my life and has been for some time.

The collection of musings continues to grow. How long this will continue I do not know. What I do know is that this is my preferred mode of expression at the moment. So long as that is the case, I will continue to do it ... anxiously awaiting what is to come forth. It is just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. I never really know what is to come forth next. I just keep an open mind and allow the stream of consciousness to go where it will. Since the New Musings began in 1998 we have had:

1998	26
1999	25
2000	8
2001	8
2002	304
2003*	234

Clearly, something changed in 2002. All of a sudden the expression changed dramatically in both quantity and quality. We still have over 100 days remaining in 2003*, so we should be able to match or exceed the count for 2002. The total count is 601 musings. Today's musing makes 602. It is curious that I am moved to count them at this time. Hmm ... 23-5 is W-E. How appropriate. In a very real way, this expression has been the record of my transformation from a me to a we focus. Don't get me wrong. I still speak in the first person singular a lot, primarily because that is what I know firsthand. But, I would also speak for the society that I would help to create ... even though I have not yet met the other members of this society, as far as I know anyway. What does one get from a pattern like that? 26 - 25 - 8 - 8 - 304 - 234. There are nearly two orders of magnitude difference between the most expressive and the least expressive years. And, it is not like there were other avenues of expression in 2000 and 2001 that were taking up my time. Further, the expression has continued into 2003 despite all the effort to get books ready to be submitted for publishing. 2003 has truly been a phenomenal year. It will be one that is difficult to top. Though it seems that spirit has things in store for us that make this pale by comparison. Can that be true? I sense it strongly. One way or another, we shall see soon enough. It does make you wonder what 2004 and 2005 will bring. The years seem to be manifesting as pairs. I don't know why. That is just the pattern from the few data points to date. We have reached close to a top end however. Given that we record the musings daily, the most we can do is 365. That would be if we mused every day. On average it seems that we take about 1 in 9 days off for various reasons dropping this to around 320. We didn't quite make this last year, but we came close.

Why do I push myself to do all of this? It is just something that I must do. This is what I came to do. This is what I live for. This is what I am willing to give my life for. Yes, that is exactly what I am doing. I am choosing to give three hours per day or more of my life to this expression. It has become the most important three hours of my day. It is the part that I know will live on long after I am gone. But, this is only true if I make the necessary provisions for it to. While I am alive, I can manage the web site, the daily expression, and the book work. But, who would do this if I were gone? How would the work of Beyond Imagination live on? In this work, I am creating something that is more than me ... something that has the potential to impact many. But it can only do so if it is freely shared in an environment of openness. The WWW provides an opportunity for that. It allows us to express as we will and to reach large audiences potentially. Actually, do I even push at all? I follow the direction of a force inside of me, a force that I choose not to resist, a force that has not led me astray to date as far as I can tell. It is spirits bidding that I do. With her on my side I know that I can be assured that my actions are right.

What am I moved to do next? The medications are making me so groggy that it is difficult staying awake this week. The wisdom tooth removal last Friday definitely placed a major stress on the mind/body. The antibiotics and the painkillers alleviate some stress, but they have side effects of their own ... especially interacting with my other medications. I can tell that something is off kilter. I am feeling things that I normally do not feel. The general tiredness is the most difficult to deal with. Nearly all of the medications have drowsiness as a side effect. It is difficult to work when you are fighting to stay awake. Though, it is not clear that there is anything that I can do about it until the healing process takes its course. Deal with it. We have no choice but to make the best of the cards that we are dealt. It is not clear that we can do anything to change that.

To do each day at least one thing that will live on. To say each day one memorable thing that has never been said before. To express each day something new ... something that has never before seen the light of day. If we do this, each day we will have done something that makes a difference. And in the end it is such things that really matter. The differences that we have made not only in our lives but the lives of others are what truly matter. It only makes sense that we should focus our energies on these. Much that we do is ultimately for naught in the grander scheme of things. But, some things matter. We need to find what these are and do them wholeheartedly.

I still live a very isolated existence. It seems that this needs to change ... yet, I'm not seeing any real signs that it is going to change significantly anytime soon. There is nothing that I am doing that I know of that will result in substantial change. That doesn't mean things are not happening outside of my direct awareness. They very well could be. I don't really know what to look for here. However, there is a growing sense that if I don't do things differently, I'm just going to experience more of the same. And, that is not what I want. It is time to get a life and start interacting with others in meaningful ways. I can always retreat back to my solitary ways if I don't like what I find. But, everything tells me that I will love working in meaningful and synergistic ways with others. It seems that it is time for a realistic assessment of whom that I AM and what I have to offer. I am clearly a unique individual with special talents and skills. Further, it is clear that I came into this existence to carry out a particular mission, one that happens to be quite grandiose, but one that is suited to the special talents and skills that I possess. I would build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. Is that asking for too much? Is that not what a new age promises ... what a new age demands? If not me whom? Why not me? I see that it is something that needs to be done, and it seems that I have the qualifications necessary to carry it out ... why not me? That means that I need to find a way to free myself from the economic prison somehow. I need to find a way to be paid for the services that I would provide of my own rather than for the services that others would demand of me. Is this actually necessary? Can I not do as Jesus said ... and render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is Gods? Can I not continue to partition my time as I have for the past decade? Perhaps I could ... but now we are talking about elegance and effectiveness. And for this, I need to be able to focus my efforts on the work that spirit would have me do. I have a decade of practice and proof of what I can accomplish on a part time basis. Here, we're talking about stepping up the pace and committing to this fully.

Can I do that? I can if the appropriate compensation is forthcoming. The Beyond Imagination books have the potential to be a source of funds. But, how long this will take and whether it will actually happen are still in spirits hands. I still live day to day, reacting to what spirit presents to me in the moment. Plans have little place in such an existence. Our vision only extends out one step at a time ... and that is how we live our live, one step after the next trusting that spirit is guiding us every step of the way. But is this the only way to live? Is this even a good way to live? Would it be better to know where we were going so that we could plan for it? Perhaps, but what good does it do to think in such a manner. Such is simply not my way. I am a wayshower. I explore the unknown. For that, there is no other way but one step at a time. In our case, the unknown is the unknown of consciousness. That is the high country, the frontier, the edge of our awareness. I like operating on the edge. I like questioning my on sanity on occasion. It is good for the soul. Life is meant to be a challenge. For many, it is a physical, mental, or emotional challenge. For a lesser number, it is a spiritual challenge. I am definitely in this later group. Life to me is a spiritual adventure or it is nothing. There is no gray here ... not for me. The spiritual colors everything that I do, everything that I see, everything that I experience, everything that I am. I know that it is not like this for others. That is OK. That is a large part of what makes me different and it is this difference that drives me to do the things that I do and believe the things that I believe.

What can I do to facilitate my date with destiny? That is an interesting question. It presumes that there is such a date. It presumes that there is something I can do to facilitate it. I strongly believe that both of these presumptions are valid. My destiny is written in my aura, in my numbers, in the stars, and in any number of ways that I have already encountered in my life. These were specific enough to know that my talents are in the 1 in a million or better range. That puts me in rare company on the planet. I know that I came to do specific things to help make the social infrastructures flow more smoothly so that spirit could more fully express through the organizations that are manifested on the planet. Government, the economy, the educational system, the religious institutions are all organizations that fall under this umbrella. No, this doesn't mean that I personally know what it takes to make them all better. But, I have some ideas. In most cases, we need to convene the best and the brightest where we can to come up with workable solutions for the 21st century and beyond. There are no problems that are too big for us to tackle. We just need to be willing to do what it takes to do the right things.

Back again. We just can't resist coming here to express what spirit would express through us. Got approved to be a member of the Seth Webring. It seems that six to seven million people have read and been moved by Seth's material. That is good. That means there is hope. Further, that means there may be far more people open to what I have expressed than I had hoped or dreamed possible. Being part of the ring may be a way to pull more people to the Beyond Imagination site. It can't hurt anyway. We need to be doing things to make connections such as this. Seth is a very positive a powerful connection. His influence pervades much of this work anyway. I got started early on the Seth Material, starting in 1974. I found my wife via a group that I started to discuss the Seth material. At its height the group only had four people. I married my wife 100 days after I met her. When I am moved to do something, I am moved to do it. There is no place for chance in my worldview. Things happen by design because we choose for them to. We create our own reality both individually and en masse.

How good is this material? What would I compare it to? The bottom line is that it is what it is. And, whatever that is is the best that could come forth though me at this time. As such, it is worthy of being shared, and worthy of being consumed. I can do what I can to make it available and share it here on these pages ... but, consumption is a decision that others must make based on exposure and an awareness that the expression exists. How do we make people aware of this? It seems that this is one of my tasks in this existence ... but it is not one that I relish. There is no place that I can go and turn this material in and have them assess just how good it is. It would be nice if there was, but it is simply not that simple. Hmm ... this is an interesting line of thought. In general, for nearly everything that we do there needs to be a way to assess its quality and its utility. We need to know who benefits from it and how they benefit? After all, is that not what service is all about ... deliver benefits to others?

Compare not what you do to what others do. You are doing what you need to do in the way you need to be doing it. Such is how life unfolds for you. You could not operate in any other fashion. While this is true for you ... this is by virtue of your level of awareness; it is not true overall for everyone. Further, it is not clear that it ever will be. It s not clear that we will ever make it to the point where all are sufficiently aware to lead lives of light ... lives of spirit, in this existence. Perhaps such a time will come some day but my sense is that I will not be around to see it. It must be enough for me to see a core group operating in this manner. Such a group will serve as a prototype that can demonstrate to the world what is possible. The challenge will be to go from what is possible to what is probable to what is reality for everyone. But, is it right for us to impose anything on everyone? That is not what we are asking to do here. This is not an imposition. This is the establishment of a new way of being. There is a difference. What makes me think I know what is right for society any better than anyone else? All that I know for certain is that I am moved to care enough in this area to express what would come forth through me. Clearly, I don't speak from experience in this existence. Socially, I have so little that I would not be qualified to comment on social matters. But, that doesn't stop me from speaking my mind. Why is that? Why do I allow myself to do this? Why do I speak out in this manner ... especially given that I have no clue as to who will hear me? The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter whether anyone hears or not. It does matter that I express what I am moved to express. Each time I do this, I reinforce a connection with source, a connection with the spirit within. I affirm that it is the inner and not the outer that matters most in my life. Though I am reaching a stage in my life where that is not enough. It is time for the inner to be made manifest in the outer. I have a role to play in doing that. It is up to me to do what it takes to make that happen.

There is a reason that I came into this physical existence. There is a purpose that I came to fulfill. Expressing spirit in flesh to the greatest degree that I can at this time on this planet is a major part of that. But how do I do that? Obviously, I do not need to be in the best of physical shape to accomplish this. I've been expressing pretty well for nearly two years and am far from being in optimal shape. I would rate my overall health as good. I don't think that I've been out sick a single day in the past two years. But being healthy and being happy are two different things. Similarly, being aware and being happy are different things. Being happy seems to be elusive for me. It has always been thus. It is like I get an occasional taste of it, but most of the time it is out of my grasp. That is OK. Having things just outside of our grasp gives us something to strive for. But, every now and then we need a success to show us that what we desire is possible to achieve. What would it take for me to be happy? If I don't know, how can I expect the universe to come forth with the right conditions? More money and more things or bigger and better things don't do it for me. More spiritual expression ... I already have the equivalent of a half time job, three published books and five more in the works, plus several thousands of pages at my Beyond Imagination site. How much more expression do I need? More and improved relationships ... yes, this is one area that is pretty dismal in my life. My insistence on being a hermit has not helped here. Though it seems that this is starting to change.

Happiness is a choice that we make! It is an attitude that we carry with us as we approach the events of our lives. Then, why am I not choosing to be happy much more of the time? I am engaged for several hours per day in work that challenges all that I am ... that allows me to express things I never knew that I knew in many cases. This says a lot about the nature of whom that we are. Our souls are wise beings that know far more than we can begin to contain within the gray matter of our brains. Why do we let circumstances get in the way of our happiness? Circumstances are temporary, they can be changed. Beingness is permanent. We are forever. There is nothing that we can do that will cause us to cease to be. Oh, these temporal bodies may wither and die, returning dust to dust ... but there is a spirit inside that is infinite and eternal, and that is inviolate. It is these things regardless of what the temporal forms experience. Remember, experiencing something does not necessarily make it real ... it only makes it experienced. So, what does it take to Be Happy? That indeed is a question worth living for. For me, I have found that it helps to listen well to the voice within, and to do as I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. There is great satisfaction that comes from doing this. And satisfaction is akin to happiness. It is in the same family anyway. I close each of these musings with the same admonitions. I've been using Be Happy and Create Well nearly as long as I've been expressing. It just seemed like the right thing to say. If you're going to be something, happy seems to be as good as anything. And create well acknowledges our part as the creators of our own reality. If we are going to create, we might as well do it well! Even after over a decade, it still seems like the natural thing for me to say.

A new day. Another opportunity to express. And, once again we are moved to come here and do just that. This has become a habit of late. The particular times and the durations may vary ... but nearly everyday we engage in this stream of consciousness expression. It is clearly a highly valued activity in our day. Otherwise it wouldn't get the attention and the resources that it does. This is the one thing that we do that has the potential to survive long after we are dead and gone. The expression that is captured here is captured forever ... or at least for as long as it has utility in the world. And, it seems that I am not to be the judge of that. My job is to bring forth what I can and to make it available. It is for others to disseminate it, consume it, and use it as appropriate. Can I be happy doing my job in a vacuum, without seeing the ultimate results that it assists in producing? If I have to ... such I will do. But, my sense is that I will see the principles come to life in action ... and I will see some of the results that are created from this. At this point it is just an inner feeling. But, I have learned to trust such inner feelings. Besides, what else do I have to go by? The "reality" of the consensus world does not conform with my understanding of how things work. I live in a world that is primarily spiritual that happens to be having a physical expression at the moment. This is a matter of attitude. This colors how I look at everything. In fact, this even determines what I decide to look at as important at all. I have very strong spiritual blinders. Unless something has a strong spiritual component, it just doesn't get through these filters. This wasn't always the case. But it has been for many years now.

We all use filters to make our lives simpler by eliminating the things that we simply don't want to see. We only have so much time. Filters allow us to focus that time on those things that are most important to us. We create filters via beliefs, primarily beliefs about what things mean and what things are important to us. We need to be careful though. In doing this, we are effectively constructing our reality to conform with our filters. That doesn't mean that this reality is indeed real or even good in any absolute sense. We need to be open and flexible and evaluate it for utility. We can literally change the world that we experience by changing our filters. They are that powerful. There is no one objective world that everyone experiences. We each have our own subjective experiences ... and you might be surprised at just how subjective these are. Oh, there is a common natural backdrop to our experiences. But on top of that backdrop we display incredible freedom and creativity to produce whatever we desire to experience. However, much of this happens on other than conscious levels. We haven't yet learned to be the conscious creators that we could be. That would require the acceptance of far more responsibility than most have been willing to accept. But that doesn't matter. This is indeed the direction that we are moving in ... toward conscious creation of what we experience. Along with that comes conscious responsibility not only for what our choices do to us, but for what they do to others and society as a whole. Either we are responsible or we are not. Either we create our own reality or we do not. There is no room for gray areas here. I believe that we are responsible and we do create our own reality. Though, I allow that a greater part of myself of which I am not yet consciously aware is still doing much of the creating. This will change as I move further on the path towards knowing myself. For now, it is enough to know that I am responsible and I am creating the reality that I experience. If I don't like it, my beliefs are the place to go to effect the changes necessary to create something different. That is how the process works.

It's been another lazy kind of day. With the medications for my extracted wisdom tooth added to my normal suite of medications ... staying awake was a major challenge this week. But, we made it. A couple more hours and a two hour drive and the week is history. I wonder whether Beyond Imagination Quotes will be waiting for me to proof. It should be, but who knows. That would make book number six for the year with two more already in the publishers hands. I'm going to have to do something to publicize the books. I don't know what that is yet. But, somehow I need to announce that the works exist to a lot of people. One company that does this for authors has contacted me via e-mail, but something doesn't feel right about it. I'm not sure why. It's not like I have much of a clue of what I am doing in this area. I've done what I can to announce the published books at the Beyond Imagination site. However, I don't know how many people that is reaching. The main page of the site only gets about 6-7 hits per day ... not a lot of traffic overall. That's another area we need to work on. It seems that the traffic that the site receives is not indicative of the value of the material at the site. There is a lot of material expressed at Beyond Imagination that has the potential to serve a lot of people. How do we let them know that the site exists and what it contains so that we might entice them to visit and explore what we have to offer? Is that expecting too much. We have given a lot of ourselves to share all that is expressed at Beyond Imagination. All that we ask is that our sharing is not for naught ... that we find an appropriate audience that might benefit from what spirit has so freely shared through us. Part of the problem is that people might not know that sites such as this exist hence would not even be searching for them. If you've found us ... please don't keep the information to yourself. Please share it with others who you feel might benefit from it as well. Word of mouth advertising is still among the best that there is. Your efforts in this regard are greatly appreciated.

Speaking of connections, if you have a related site and want to exchange links, I am open to doing that. Let me know the URL and a brief description of the site and I'll add it to my links page. Links are how we build interconnectivity in our webs of information. I don't know the degree to which people follow links to explore the WWW, but that is one avenue that is available. Personally, I spend far more time generating and posting information to the WWW than consuming it. But, that is just me. Someone must be reading all of the material that is generated. It is amazing that we live in an age where the freedom of information is so clearly manifested. I can generate this now and within minutes of finishing post the file to a server in Monterey which makes it available to anyone in the world who knows the URL or who accesses an additional updated file that I post that has a link to this file. In this case, I have a main file where my daily musings are posted. New dates (links) are added nearly daily.

This does bring up a difficulty with the WWW. There is so much information available. How do we tell what information is right? How do we tell what information is good? How do we quickly find information relevant to what we want to know? The questions are endless. Who is turning the information into knowledge and the knowledge into wisdom? Information on it's own has limited utility. It needs a context to give it meaning. Who provides such contexts? This seems to be a skill that few seem to have. That makes it a valuable commodity or service. Hmm ... it seems that this is where I come into the picture. At Beyond Imagination we provide more than information. Though, it is not clear what to call what we provide. Most of the material is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, I didn't consciously organize it or even create it for that matter. It just happened. It just came forth ... much as it is coming forth now. I am present, watching it happen. But, I have no awareness of being the entity that is responsible for doing it. This I believe to be spirit herself, the one consciousness that animates us all.

One of the primary benefits of the Beyond Imagination experience is that you get to walk where my consciousness has walked for awhile. That is possible because I was moved to capture this state for so many hours over the days, weeks, months, and years. I find it interesting to go back and read where I was at a particular point in time. It amazes me that even after a decade of doing this, the experience is always fresh and new. It doesn't matter how many times I've read a particular passage. When I read it again, it is as if it is the very first time. That should not be possible. But, that is what I experience. I try to stay away from speculating about what is possible and what is not possible. Whenever we do this, we needlessly limit ourselves. It is better to free ourselves from such limits wherever we can. This is always our choice to make. It is for us to make it wisely.

What would I do next? Those five frequent words. Do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. And the standard response. But, what does this mean in practical terms here and now? Obviously, I'm still musing ... so this is one of the things that I am moved to do. I'm still primarily alone ... so I haven't taken any action to break out of my shell. I've only sold two books at work and only a dozen people or so are even aware that I have published them. Then again, why should I expect them to be interested? They have their own lives to lead. In seven years of working here, I've only gotten close enough to a few people to even discuss metaphysics. That side of my life has remained hidden. Why should I expect things to change now? For one thing, because I want them to. I choose to live my life more congruently with what I believe. That means expressing it to an even greater degree than I have. That is OK. This is whom that I AM coming out in a way that I never have before. It is about time. We are already 45. How long do we have to wait to fully express who we are? It seems that it won't be much longer. We have finally come of age as it were. How appropriate for a new age. It will be interesting to see what transpires in the coming weeks and months. We're asking to do things in ways that we have never done them. We're asking to interact with others in ways that are new as well. Are we really up to this? That is asking a lot. However, the alternatives are not acceptable. We have lived alone in this life for far longer than was absolutely necessary. That was a choice that we made ... but it does not have to continue a moment longer. Reality creation is that strong. We can change our reality in an instant. It is a matter of choice, a matter of choosing to believe differently about ourself and how we express.

The proof copy of Beyond Imagination Quotes was indeed waiting for me when I got home. I'll generate the corrections page tomorrow and fax in the approval form. The only corrections at this point are formatting ones. I did the major proofing before sending the book to the publisher. I'm not going to do that again. The return on investment in terms of errors corrected per hour is just not there. That means as of tomorrow, I will have done all that I can do to get six of eight books published. Not bad considering we still have three months left in the year.

However, the next question is what is the next step? So, we have books published. How do we generate book sales? It doesn't do much good to have all this information readily available in this format if there isn't anyone meant to consume it. What does the material do for whom? That is a reasonable question to ask. What can one expect to gain as a result of reading the Beyond Imagination books? For one thing you get to experience the stream of consciousness of one who has become aware to a greater degree than most. I liken this to the journal of an explorer of old describing the wilderness he encountered. Only, my wilderness is the wilderness of consciousness. What I am able to bring forth is the most faithful rendering of what I have been able to experience. This is not such an easy area to explore. The realm of consciousness is connected to the mind but extends far beyond the limits of the brain and the mind. There is so much that we are not conscious of. Even basic functions regarding how our bodies and minds operate are beyond our understanding. It is amazing that this would be the case. Yet, overall we have no problem functioning. It doesn't matter that we don't know how we are going to end a sentence when we start it. We can begin to utter it anyway trusting the basic nature of our self to come through to finish it appropriately. We don't have to worry about breathing or keeping our heart beating, these processes occur quite naturally. However, we do need to be concerned about health and overall body image. What are we comfortable with? What do we want to express? What statement do we want to make about whom that we are? Our body is one of our most intimate creations. It seems that we should be making choices that keep it in synch with our image of what we want it to be. I'm one to talk. I'm about 50 pounds more than a comfortable weight at the moment. That's a lot of calories to burn. What does it take to motivate me to do it? I've tried several diets. They seem to work for awhile and then I'm back up to my old weight. What would move me to make a lifestyle change that supports this? That seems to be what is ultimately required.

It has been an outstanding year for Beyond Imagination in terms of productivity. With the exception of making this a fulltime job, I can't see how I could be much more productive. However, it is not clear that producing and publishing more words is what is needed anymore. We need to take a leap in a different direction and start doing things that get the world out. One thing that might help is a Beyond Imagination introduction package ... maybe 10 pages of so of passages and description of Beyond Imagination works. I'm really out of my element here. These are not your average books. The material at the Beyond Imagination site is not for everyone. I know that. It will take special methods to find the audience for which the books were published. Interesting ... were published is indeed correct. As the material was coming forth there was no indication as to whom the material was intended. Though, I did have an Editors/Publishers Sought page where I described a variety of books that might be created from the Beyond Imagination material. It is interesting that I was moved to generate many of these this year. Interesting, but not surprising. Beyond Imagination has been primarily a solo activity. Though, I did get some help with The Search for Center Newsletter. Why was it necessary to create and publish so many books this year? It just was. I did what I was moved to do. Also, the universe kicked in and provided some much needed funds at an opportune time. Everything just seemed right. It still does. Patience. There is an overwhelming feeling that I need to be doing more. Yet, at the same time the guidance is to be patient. Things will unfold in their proper timing. You are in spirits hands now. She would not lead you astray. Continue to do as you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. As you do so, you will be doing exactly those things that need to be done by you. Allow others to do their parts as well. Hmm ... I wonder where that came from? What others are we talking about? You are here to express. You are doing that. Though, is not part of expression to ensure that the communication reaches its intended audience? Actually no, that is not a necessary part of expression. It often occurs concurrently, but not always. So, could it be that there are others who are to help ensure that the expression that is Beyond Imagination reaches others? If so, when will I find them or they find me? Patience. Patience. Patience. Spirit will not be rushed. It may seem that the timing of things is urgent, but it is not so urgent as it seems. Things are unfolding exactly as they need to unfold. There is nothing that you have to do differently. Though there are things that you might choose to do differently that could facilitate the work that Beyond Imagination is doing. OK, you've peaked my curiosity, what things? Look for opportunities to express what you know to audiences of any size. This can be informally or formally.

OK. We've committed. Just faxed the proof corrections and the approval form for Beyond Imagination Quotes to the publisher. That makes number six. The remaining two for the year are already in the publishers hands as well. The final one went out just over a week ago. That is still a remarkable feat. Eight published books in one year ... all non-fiction, many of them above 500 pages. Though, I did have a decade's worth of expression to call on. I can easily see adding another four or five books in 2004 at the pace that I am going ... perhaps more depending on where the expression takes me. There is not a whole lot of prior work to call on; at least not without significant massaging and new work to tie it together in new ways. That may or may not be on the agenda. At this point, I simply don't know what 2004 will bring. But, I am anxious to see. 2002 and 2003 have been such spectacular years for expression. And there do not seem to be any signs that this is going to let up anytime soon. 2004 is just over three months away. At the pace the weeks have been flying by, that is simply no time. Yet, on the other hand, it is over 1/4 of the year. That over 25 percent. That is a lot of time to continue doing things. And we are. We're working on annotating Beyond Mind and continuing with the nearly daily musings that will ultimately flow into 2003 Musing - Vol 3. Those should be the first two books for 2004. That is, unless something else comes up in the next couple months that I just have to do. It could happen. It has happened before.

Then, there is the publicizing side of the picture. How do we get the word of the Beyond Imagination site and the Beyond Imagination works out to those who might benefit from them? This is an area I am definitely weak in. I was hoping by now to find others who might be stronger in this area to join forces with. However, it is not clear whether that will happen or not. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking. Perhaps it was operating out of a fear of doing this myself. But what is there to fear? What I am offering to share is whom that I am, what I have experienced, and what I know. That is a lot. And, hence is worth a lot. I've made most of the material available for free so people can sample what they will be getting. Also, I didn't want finances to preclude people from benefiting from the material. All that I ask is that people abide by the rule from The Lion King - never take more than you give. Whenever you take something, anything, from anywhere ... make sure that you pay for it by giving back more than its worth somewhere in your life. This doesn't always involve a direct payback to the source from which you took originally. Allow spirit to ensure that the circles eventually return appropriately.

We are energy generators. One form of energy is these very words of this very expression. Captured and shared, this material has the potential to impact many. Whether it will or not seems to depend on a number of things some of which I have control over and some of which I don't (or don't seem to anyway). I can capture the material in web pages. I can post the material to the WWW. I can package parts of the material and publish it as books. These are all within my power as I have demonstrated over the past decade. Though, the actual publishing has only really occurred since mid-July of this year. We have not had enough time to see just what kind of impact this will have. Though, my statement showed the first two weeks of sales at the end of July were nil. I don't know what to expect in this area. I only know that I was strongly moved to publish the books ... all of them. Once that I knew that I could do it, it became more than a possibility ... it became a reality awaiting actualization. I knew there was nothing that could stop me from doing what I set out to do. This was all under my control. Though the help from the universe with the finances to publish three books was definitely a godsend. Spirit does indeed work in mysterious ways. I had enough finances to comfortably cover publishing everything else. It truly is amazing. But, life is that way when we look for her to be. Nearly every aspect of our consciousness is beyond our understanding. Oh, there are some tools and techniques that can be used to get our consciousness to work for us to create things, events, and experiences in our lives. Some of these seem to work better for some people than for others. Here it seems we are each unique and ultimately we must find what works for us. No, that is not like finding a needle in a haystack. We are naturally drawn to the things that work for us when we allow our inner resources to be expressed. There is a force within us that drives us toward actualization of whom that we are. It helps if we cooperate and allow it to manifest what it will in our lives ... but many seem to fight it tooth and nail. How futile this is. Our Self knows exactly where we belong and how best to get us there. It does not have to be difficult. That is not to say it won't be a challenge. Spirit seems to thrive on challenges. They keep life interesting. Boredom is akin to death. Actually, it is worse than death. Yet, how do we live a life free from the grips of boredom? Many escape to entertainment. But, is that a suitable response ... or is that just avoidance? What if we found ways to engage people to assist in solving the major problems of the day? Is that possible to do? Can the collective resources of people be harnessed in such a manner? My sense is yes. It won't be easy. It will require determined effort. But, we can indeed use the collective mindpower of groups of people to solve many of the challenging problems of the day. It is a matter of having the resolve to do it and committing the appropriate resources to make it happen. As a society, we can do this. All resources collectively belong to us. It is our collective choice as to where to engage them. Remember, we get what we focus effort upon. If we want change in any area ... if we want to fix problems that plague us, we need to commit sufficient resources.

But, won't we eventually run out? Won't we get to a point where there are still things that need to be done but there are no resources left to do them? My sense is no, we will never reach such a point. We are too resource rich for that. However, here is where priorities and resource leveling would come into play. We might want to apply fewer resources to higher priority tasks to free some up for additional tasks at the bottom. The bottom line is that collectively we have only begun to tap our potential. We are far less effective than we could be. Between improvements in effectiveness, a tithe of time, and eliminating unemployment ... we increase the available working force by on the order of 20-25 percent. That is a lot of resources to apply toward making things better for all of us. Further, that is not all. A good portion of the current time is already involved in providing many of the services that society needs. We just need more from these. We need the services to touch our spirit somehow. More and more, we will find that we demand this. The spiritual part of us will not be denied. It will have its rightful place in our interactions in the world. How do we know what this is? One, we take the time to go within to find out. This part of us is not hidden. It is there waiting for us to contact it and invite it to become an active force in our lives. It will not force its way in. It is content to stay quietly on the sidelines until we notice that it is there and take the steps to come to know it. That is what the process of know thyself is all about. For, this inner self is as much a part of us as any. You might even say that it is more ... because in many ways it is effectively running the show. Even if we are not aware of it, it is running the show. Perhaps, especially if we are unaware of it. We take great strides to give the appearance that we are in control of our lives. But, for most of us ... that is a front, not reality. The truth is that we are swayed by emotions over which we have limited control as well as thoughts over which we have limited ability to evaluate for ourselves.

We continue to speak with a voice that is more than ours. Even after over a decade of doing this, we are no closer to discovering the source than we were that very first day. It is simply someplace inside of us to which we are able to connect where this stream of consciousness flows. It is interesting that it flows as it does. One might expect it to be more disjointed. Though, the sentences and paragraphs can vary dramatically from one to the next. That is OK. Consciousness undergoes such context switches. It is OK to record these as they happen. Actually, I feel it is my duty to do so. The objective is to give you as complete of a picture of what I experience as I can do in words. Since my experience is in words ... conveying it in words only seemed natural. What has worked for a decade continues to work today. Though, it would be nice to have some feedback as to what is actually conveyed in this manner. I know what words I captured. I don't know what reading those words actually does for others. I've had several feedback e-mails over the past decade, but we’re probably talking no more than several dozen. That is not enough of a sampling to know what people are getting from the material. I really do desire to know. This could affect how I choose to present things in the future.

The other option is that I am meant to express in the dark as it were ... without much feedback. I do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. I express what I am moved to express. I trust that my life is unfolding in accord with a master plan of which I have limited awareness. I'm not sure that I like this option, though it does allow me to retain my hermit ways. The sense is that it makes the work of Beyond Imagination more difficult in the long run ... primarily due to the lack of synergy that community would allow. I remember stating something to the effect that we need to ensure the living continuity of what we know by teaching what we have learned to at least one other living person before we pass on. Depending on our interests we may have to teach parts of what we know to different people. We can't necessarily expect to find someone like us that would be interested in all of it.

Six books now grace the top of the bureau in my office. Six books with my name as the author. OK, only three of these are officially published at this point in time. But the remaining three are within two to three weeks ... so it is effectively a fait accompli. As of February or so, I had no idea that I would be publishing any of this material this year. That was only seven months ago. My what a different half of a year can make. And, we still have a quarter of a year remaining this year. The phrase that comes to mind is no rest for the weary. I have been more weary than normal of late. Yet, despite this, I am moved to express even more than normal. It seems that there is no end in site. The more that I express ... the more that there seems to be awaiting expression. At some point, I have to draw the line and say enough is enough. Though, I am reluctant to do this. I do enjoy this expression so. This is my life ... or at least a major part of it, and arguably the most important part of it. Perhaps that is why my experience with relationships is so strained and limited. I simply don't give them their full due. If I’m ever going to ever get beyond my self-imposed isolation, I need to take steps to open up in this area. Part of this is to become genuinely interested in other individuals. I am interested in doing things that would benefit all of society, but how does that apply to each individual? I haven't really made that connection yet. And, it seems that this is one of the things that is holding me back. Interesting. How does what I express specifically benefit anyone? What does it do for whom? Is this something that I can even answer? I know what this expression does for me. It uplifts me and allows me to experience states of consciousness that I otherwise might not experience. These are positive and empowering states of consciousness that teach me much of whom that I AM. Is the expression universal enough to be able to do that for others as well? I believe so. That is part of what keeps me coming back to do this and then taking the steps to share what is expressed.

Six published books. At one time not too long ago, that was just a goal in my mind. Now, we are literally within weeks of making it a reality and have two additional books at the publisher to meet our objective of eight for 2003. Yes, 2003 has been a very productive year. It will be interesting to see what we can do in 2004 to top it. For, there is a sense that such is indeed what is destined. These are building years. Each year builds upon the prior ones to achieve something new. I don't know how long this will continue. Though, it seems that it will at least go on through my first Easter birthday in 2007. There is something about that time that seems special somehow. It marks a new phase in my life, another death and rebirth of some type.

I don't set many goals. I have never been one to do this. I'm not much of a planner either. I don't even wear a watch. I haven't for over 20 years. This results in a funny relationship with time. There are enough clocks around to get up when I need to and to make it to meetings at work. But, I try not to schedule much of anything. I prefer to keep my days unstructured. I prefer to be able to follow the chief inner guidance that I have received: do what you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. This has always been good guidance. I have been able to count on spirit to do the moving in my life. And, she seems far more knowledgeable and able than I am. That doesn't relieve me of responsibility for my actions or inactions however. She may guide and "move", but it is ultimately my choice to be moved and act. It was strange seeing myself set the goal of six published books in 2003 and objective of eight published books. That was just something I wasn't used to doing. But, once it became a possibility ... once I could see the way for it to happen, the variables were all under my control. It was just a matter of applying effort in the right way. As it turned out, once I got into it, this was far easier than I imagined that it would be. Putting the books together was a snap. The most difficult part was the proofing. If I had sufficient resources, that is one part that I would definitely hire out. I am not a detail person by nature. I can take care of the details when I have to, but that is not where my greatest strengths lay. I'm much better at seeing the big picture and working from the top down. I know this. It is obvious in my work and my education. The classes and work assignments that I did best in required these skills. How do I put myself in a position where my best skills are used in a manner that can benefit many? Who says you are not already in such a position? You have a job that pays you what you need to survive comfortably. And, you have plenty of time to express what we would have you express. What more do you need? Why do you insist that the work that you are paid for and the work that you love be one and the same? Yes, this would be ideal. But, that is not a necessity. But, couldn't I do a whole lot more good work if I could do it on a fulltime rather than a part time basis? Perhaps, but leave the timing to us. It will happen when it happens. There is nothing that you can do to force it to happen.

Actually, as far as work goes ... things are picking up and getting interesting. Though, it still can be difficult to stay awake at times. It seems that I am just not suited to work indoors for such long stretches at a time. Yet, what do I do? I spend 10-12 hours in front of a computer each day during the week. That is a lot of time. Something tells me that it can't be healthy. But, I do what I must do. Between work and this expression, such is my chosen reality. That is, assuming I really have a choice in all of this. I guess that I could have a different kind of a job. But, I am good with ideas ... and information workers typically are stuck with using computers. That is OK. I actually enjoy it. There is power that comes from being knowledgeable and able to do ones job well. Though, there is another part of me that wonders what I might be capable of if all of my creative forces were unleashed to do what I know that I can do. What could I do if I were truly enthusiastic about what I was doing? The sense is that this is far more than I can imagine. That is saying a lot. I have seen myself accomplish a lot and I can imagine doing far more. But, will I have the opportunity to do so. It seems that this is a matter of making not having the opportunity. We can do whatever we set our minds, our hearts, and our spirits to do. It takes all three to reach the level of commitment necessary to make things happen. And even then, it must be consistent with what we believe or it simply won't happen. Beliefs are that powerful. They are that important to the reality that we experience.

I'm still feeling the effects of my wisdom tooth being removed just over a week ago. Healing is a slow process, at least in this case. I found it curious that transiting Uranus was exactly opposed my Natal Pluto on the day of the removal. I don't know how to interpret that but an exact aspect of outer planets is quite rare. This particular aspect is a once in a lifetime occurrence. This year has a lot of outer planet energy at play in my chart. I believe that is why it has unfolded in the way that it has. In particular, there is something about the transiting Pluto trine Natal Sun that is triggering all of the desire for publishing. At times, we even have multiple aspects in close proximity at the same time. This truly is a special year. It would have been even if we had not know about all the outer planet activity. But, this is just another confirmation. The universe works in mysterious ways. But, she has given us symbol systems by which to gain insight into some of her activity. However, it is for us to learn of these systems and engage them in our lives if they are to be of benefit. No, we don't have to do this. Nothing is forced upon us. They are there for us if we choose to use them.

Is there some significance in having a wisdom tooth removed at age 45? It is my first. That leaves me with three. Many people have all four removed at a much earlier age. However, mine have never really bothered me, so there was no need. This particular one had a hole and was decayed so the dentist decided it had to come out. From the amount of decay, it seems he was right. Though, I would not want to go through that again. Hopefully, I won't have to. Over three hours in the dental chair with over two hours of active dental work was more than enough to last for awhile. Though I do have another tooth close to where the work was done that needs a crown. I've never really liked doctors or dentists. To the degree that I could, I've avoided both for most of my life. And, I've been pretty successful at it.

I'm anxious to get on with the next phase of my life. There is a strong sense that I'm at a crossroads. It seems that there are multiple paths that my life could take. It will be interesting to see what choices I make and what experiences result from those choices. Actually, to some degree, it seems that the bulk of the choices have already been made. It is a matter of allowing them to manifest. No, that is not shirking my responsibility in anyway. I am fully responsible for all that I experience. The issue is one of at what level we make our choices. To me, it seems that this is still primarily at other than conscious levels. We can make it more conscious if we so choose, but this is not a necessity for living happily.

Make everyday count. Do what you can do to make a difference somehow. In the end, that is all that matters. What did we do that make a difference in the world? Is that so important? Is it not enough to make a difference to ourself and those whose lives we touch directly? Why am I so insistent on a more grandiose part to play? It just seems right. I see what abilities I have and see what potential there is for using these abilities to serve the world. Service before self ... that is the motto for the Air Force. That is one of the mottos that I live by. Then again, I could imagine how some people might consider this expression self-serving. However, I don't see it that way. It is what it is. I still don't know how it is created. Even after ten years, the process is still a mystery. That is OK. Mysteries are good. You might say that is one of the things that keeps me coming back. What else would I do with my life? What would I do that would result in products of more lasting value? Is not this expression enough? Are not these ideas sufficient to be worthy of my presence on the planet? It seems the answer is no, or I would feel more satisfied than I do. There is still a sense that I am not doing enough. Perhaps I am being too hard on myself and will never do enough. Then again, by definition, whatever I am able to do must be enough ... especially if I am sincere in my effort.

One by one, the days continue to march on. I'm in a class most of the week, so the time is going by even more rapidly than normal. I'm still struggling with being tired however ... even though both the class and this expression are interesting. That is just not enough, it seems. Oh well. We do the best we can with the opportunities that we are given. Further, we realize that these are the very opportunities that we created for ourselves. There is a difference between being productive and busy and being happy. For me, the former seems to be a necessary component for the later, but it clearly is not a sufficient component. Why is it that happiness is so elusive? It seems that it should be a state that is natural and easy to reach. But, this doesn't seem to be the case, at least not in my life to date. My productivity is very high both at work and in this expression. But somehow, that is not enough. My spirit demands more. And, it will have more for I will do what it takes to meet its demands. That is an interesting way of looking at things, but an accurate one from my perspective. I can only relate what I know from my own experience. Though, even I am surprised by some of the things that I know.

Who would get what from this expression? Who is the intended audience? What is the intended message that I am trying to communicate? Do I even know? Should I know? Or, is this something that I can leave to the universe to determine? To date, this is exactly what I have done with few exceptions. When I have attempted to do things to get the word out about Beyond Imagination, the effort has generally failed dismally. I took this as feedback that either my timing or approach was wrong. Now, it seems the energies are different somehow. Things that have failed in the past may work fine now. One way or another, it seems that Beyond Imagination is to grow into something from which great works can be done ... works far beyond anything we have created to date, works that go beyond words to building the actual foundations for a new world. I feel this transformation happening. I don't see much tangible evidence of it yet, but I trust that this too will come in time. All that we can do is carry out our roles as we see them. If we do what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it ... we will be doing exactly that. I guess we need to be a bit careful here that it is spirit that is doing the moving. Otherwise we could wreak havoc in not only our lives but the lives of others. Coming from a hermit perspective, I lose sight of the fact that the vast majority of people on the planet do not see things and experience things in the way that I do. However, my sense is that if you are reading this ... you are part of a select few who have awakened and become sufficiently aware of your spiritual nature to express it in your life on a regular basis.

Where do we go from here? We continue to express. That is a given. That is still a necessary outlet. But, what else would we do? How would we make people aware of the Beyond Imagination works that have been done to date? It seems that we need to get the word out if the expression is to reach and influence those it is meant to touch. Then again, from another perspective, it will indeed reach those whom it is meant to reach ... for such is destined somehow. Though that doesn't relieve us from the need to do something if we feel that it is indeed our job to spread the word. I'm still doing this in terms of a little thing here and a little thing there ... a link here, an advertisement there. It seems something bigger is in order -- something like an advertising campaign. Though for this I would need to be very clear about what benefits the material was providing to whom. If it is meant to be, it will be ... Those words just popped into my head. I was thinking about what part I have to play in making this a reality. It is not for me necessarily to choose to create whatever I would create in and of my own. Rather, it is for me to actively allow those things to manifest that are consistent with carrying out my mission. This is a much easier task when we do it right. There are far fewer false paths and dead ends involved. Though there is nothing that says that we have to take the easy path. It is always open to us. But it is our choice. We are free to live our lives as we choose.

Today is going to be a short musing day. Even with a late afternoon nap, I'm fading rapidly. That is OK. We deal with the cards that we are dealt. States of consciousness are still very fluid for me. I like to think that I have more control than most. And, the very fact that I can maintain sufficient focus to express here as I do for as long as I do is evidence of this control. At the same time, I'm bipolar and under some pretty heavy medication to control it ... anti-depressant, anti-seizure, and anti-psychotic. Drowsiness is a major side effect of each of the medications. Yet, that doesn't stop my spirit from soaring at times. These bouts of moderate mania may last from days to weeks. They are refreshing and uplifting times for me. They are when I feel most inspired, most connected to source. Of course, the doctors do not see the spiritual side to all of this. They see a mental disorder in which the brain chemistry is out of whack and needs to be brought under control by dosages of drugs that bring levels to within the "therapeutic range". To me, this "disorder" is a feature of how my mind functions that allows me to see things differently than others are able to see them. Whether this is ultimately good or bad depends on it utility. What does it allow me to do? One of the things that it allows me to do is to express in the manner that I do. It is interesting that this expression began at about the time of the diagnosis of the bipolar condition.

Here we are again, expressing as spirit would have us express. I can think of no better way to spend my time then engaged in this stream of consciousness expression. Perhaps that is why there are so few people in my life. It seems I have already made my choice as to where I am going to apply my focus, attention, and energy. Though such choices can change at any time. There is nothing that holds us to our prior choices except ourselves and our own inertia. At times this can be a good thing. It can keep us going through the rough times and get us to bright days that lie ahead. But, during times when massive change is called for ... inertia is not such a good thing. It keeps us from getting to where we need to be, or results in getting there much more slowly or more circuitously than necessary. Then again, from another perspective, if we experience it ... then it is necessary, almost by definition. That is a hard thing to swallow when you look at all the pain and suffering experienced by so many in the world. Can all of that really be necessary? How could spirit be so cruel as to permit all of that to happen in that manner? However, the very way that we are asking the question is flawed. Everything is spirit in expression. Everything being experienced is being experienced by spirit. If it could have avoided some of the hurt and the suffering, it would have. So, the bottom line must mean that this could not have been avoided. Until we take responsibility for it, and for doing something about it, that is true ... nothing can be done except through us and by us. At what point are we going to realize that the reality that we experience is the reality that we are creating for ourselves both individually and collectively? Until we do this, there is no hope that we will build a better world. For, a better world starts with each of us living a better life, and doing things to contribute to improvements in our communities and our world. We have the power to do great things, individually and collectively. Whether we will tap this power and use it for this purpose remains to be seen. I'm an optimist at heart, so I believe that we will indeed succeed in this. In fact, I believe that there is a spiritual destiny being played out that will ultimately ensure that this happens. It is as if it is already a spiritual certainty, it is just a matter of time before it manifests physically.

Allowing free will to manifest is not "cruel". However, it does create an environment where unscrupulous operators could take advantage of gullible and unsuspecting victims. Do the victims choose to be victims? In some cases we can say yes. People choose to drink alcohol or to smoke cigarettes. But, it seems there are many exchanges in the economic system where there should be far more assistance in screening the quality and value of goods and services that are offered to the public. Sellers should not be free to sell whatever buyers are willing to buy. Hmm ... I wonder where that came from? That is directly counter to the basis of a free market economy. In a free market, it is the presence of potential consumers that drives the need for a particular good or service. Here, we are saying that is not enough. The seller must demonstrate that his goods or services have more value than the fulfillment of some consumer desire. This puts us on shaky ground. In the free market, if the item didn't sell, the seller went out of business. Things were simple. Now, we need some means to judge the value of goods and services independent of the prices people are willing to pay on the open market. Why do I believe this can be done any better than the free market has done it? Because I can look out and see what choices I have and what those choices cost me. In many ways I am more free than my ancestors, but in other ways I am more enslaved. In particular, I am far more in debt than they ever were. It takes a lot to live a comfortable lifestyle these days. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot to show for it. But, much of it is borrowed, rather than owned. Also, comfortable now is far more comfortable than it has ever been.

What I do own is this expression. And, it is one thing I choose to freely share. Though I also invite you to purchase some of the published books that we have available. I just noticed that the publishers web site is down due to major rework. Hopefully, it won't be down for long. I guess that means I should make the preview pages available as links from the Published Books page. Though, in most cases, if you want a sample of what is in the book, most of the material is already somewhere at this site. The sad part is that right now, I'm probably the only one that knows what is where. Though, most of it is pretty obvious. Even the brief introductions for each book identify what the source was for that work. With the exception of some introductions and conclusions, nearly everything in all eight of the Beyond Imagination books generated to date is posted at the Beyond Imagination site. In some cases you have to look in a lot of files. For instance, 2003 Musings - Vol I is spread over 112 files; The Early Works are spread over 15 files; Best Passages from 2002 Musings is spread over 6 files.

What would I do next? There is a deep inner longing to make myself known to others somehow ... to a much greater degree than I have ever done. This can happen in two ways: one, through personal contact and interaction; two, through exposure of people to this expression. Much of whom that I AM is revealed here in these works. That has been true since the beginning. This expression is my way of sharing who I am with the world. It is documented in writing. Much of it is date stamped. There is not a single word that I would take back even if I could. The expression is what it is. It is not something that I am trying to make of it. When I express, the only purpose that I have in mind is to express what consciousness would bring forth as clearly as I can. I know that I am not consciously in control of what is being expressed. It is not clear that I can even control whether it will be expressed or not. I am compelled as if by a force that I cannot resist. Not that I would want to resist it even if I could. But, what about free will? Do I create my own reality or not? How can I not be in control of such a simple decision as whether to express or not to express? It is a matter of levels at which choices are made. I have freely accepted that I have a spiritual mission and that part of this mission is allowing this stream of consciousness from source that constitutes Beyond Imagination to come forth. Consciously, I place a high priority on this activity. That seems to assure that I am moved to express for an appropriate amount of time nearly every day. We always find time to do those things that we value the most. In fact, that is one of the ways to find out what we value the most ... look at where we spend our time, especially our free time.

I don't imagine myself as a people person. I don't see myself meeting and interacting with large numbers of people. Is this a limitation that I am imposing on myself or is this a realization of my nature? Yet, is there something that I know that is of value that I can teach to others ... even large numbers of others? What this expression has taught me is something of awareness and the nature of consciousness. Are these things that I can impart unto others? Can they get it from these writings? Can they get it from my presence? Clearly, I believe that I have experienced things that most have not and that as a wayshower I am here to share what I have experienced in a manner that shows the way for others. I do this because it is where I naturally gravitate to. This is what I came to do. This is my spiritual mission. It is by far the most important thing that I do in my life. It is here that I truly live. It is here that I can be whom that I AM, even if none other be aware at the time that I express. I have little insight as to who or how many this expression touches. Further, I have no idea as to how long the technology will be around that allows it to remain available to the world. The WWW is growing and changing as we speak. I'm still using basic HTML. More advanced web pages are two or three generations beyond that already. This month marks the 8 year point for the Beyond Imagination web site. I would guess that we have close to 4000 pages or 3 million words of expression by now. Not bad for a part time endeavor, and primarily a solo one. Though, how can I say solo, when source is there nearly all of the time? And, as yet, I don't count source as something that I consciously know to be me.

Express what would be expressed through you. Worry not as to where it comes from or where it will go. The material will reach those whom it is meant to reach. Yes, you will have a major role to play in facilitating that. But, you don't have to overdo it. You will be guided each step along the way. Just keep taking one step after the next in the direction that feels right to you. Trust! You will know what the right direction is. You will know! You have reached a point where your awareness is such that you naturally detect and attract the spiritual into your life. To some degree, you have always done such. Hence the purple as the top band of color in your aura. Yes, I know that. There is a strong sense of a great spiritual destiny to fulfill. And, there is no doubt that I will fulfill it. Interesting. I said "I" will fulfill it not we will fulfill it. It still seems that there is something that I must do on my own. Perhaps this is only as a first phase, and working with others will come after that. But it seems that I must break beyond the barriers of Self to find my rightful place in the world. What does it take to do that? Right now, I have very strong boundaries. What does it take to soften these and/or to break through them? How can my consciousness be so flexible and my concept of self so rigid? Hmm ... the self is the seat of the consciousness - or is it the other way around? What comes first? The Self is not a body or a vessel; it is a being. Yet, what is consciousness? Is it not that which animates life? ... that which gives life to life? That is an interesting way of looking at things.

My physical body is fairly stiff and rigid. My mind is quite stubborn in many respects. What does this tell me about other aspects of myself? Clearly these are reflections that mirror spiritual conditions as well. What do I need to work on? On the physical front, we have weight and flexibility. The first can be addressed via diet and exercise, the second via exercise and stretching ... perhaps yoga. On the mental front, this is a little more difficult. I believe in believing things firmly as long as we believe them and changing our beliefs rapidly should more empowering beliefs come our way. The power of beliefs is judged solely by utility. Besides, I'm not so convinced that I am not open-minded. After all, I've accepted this expression into my life with open arms. That was not necessarily a sane thing to do. Though it is something that I am proud to have done. It took courage to give spirit voice in this manner. It took more courage to start to believe what came forth enough to act on the information. But, overall, it has proved itself to be trustworthy. Spirit has shown time and time again that I can count on her to come through. That doesn't mean that everything that is expressed is 100 percent correct. It seems that my ego still gets in the way and clouds the expression with its desires at times. Though, of late, this seems to happen less and less.

Good news. The publishers site was only down for a day. The new bookstore is up and running and does seem to be a substantial improvement. In addition, Best of Notes - Books 1 and 2 made it to the published list today. That makes it five officially. Quotes, the sixth, should follow within a week or so. Then, The Search for Center should be ready a month or so after that. Finally, 2003 Musings - Vol II should come in a week or so before Christmas to wrap up things for the year. That makes eight published books in one year. That achieves the objective that I set when I first found out I could even do this just over six months ago. It is still difficult to believe that I had no clue that I could publish books at a price that I could afford such a short time ago and here I stand (or sit in my case) with 5 books published and 3 more in the publishers hands. Effectively, it is a done deal. I don't anticipate any problems with the final few books that would preclude their publication this year. Yet, there is nothing miraculous about it. I just decided to do it, and then committed the necessary resources to make it happen. Actually, there was a touch of the miraculous. There was a matter of a ten year old claim for $1161 that came out of the blue just in time to fund the publishing of three books. Had this not occurred, the publishing would have been delayed and I would have had to stretch a bit more financially. But, there is a sense that once I was committed, I was not going to allow anything to deter me from reaching my objective.

Can I do this in other areas of my life? Can I set goals and objectives and use these to focus my energy and activities on those things necessary to achieve the goals? Would I know what goals to set? Clearly, there is great benefit that comes from focused effort. We are able to create far more than we have ever dreamed possible. But, do we need goals to provide this focus for us? Hmm ... what do I want? This is not a question that I am used to asking. My focus has been on who am I? Both questions are equally valid. Ignoring one to focus on the other can only work for so long. So, we'll ask again, what do I want? Satisfying and rich relationships. Hmm ... it is interesting that this would be the thing that would come up first. This is the thing that I am missing most in my life. Now, the question is given that this is what I want ... what am I willing to do to make it so? Relationships must be developed and nurtured. This takes time, effort, and attention. What am I willing to give to manifest such relationships? One thing that is necessary is to shift from a self focus to an other focus or at least to a we focus. What is life without friends? It can be quite lonely. There is some comfort in having spirit by one's side, but that is not the same as having a physical companion with whom to share aspects of life. There is so little that I know about others that it is frightening at times. Wayne's World is a very strange place. To date, it is a very empty place. It is full of ideas ... some quite grandiose regarding what can be. But, attempts to lure others into this world have been for naught as far as I can tell. Perhaps that is because such is not meant to be. My world is just that, my world. The most I can do is share where this world intersects with your world. Hmm ... lure seems to connote a negative intent. That is the farthest thing from my mind. My hope is that exposure to my world would be a liberating experience. I know it has been such for me. I would guess that others would find it so as well.

These words are my way of documenting my reality. My hope is that in expressing in this manner I provide a service, a great service to those who find this expression. As a wayshower, I demonstrate what spirit expressing in flesh is capable of. But, know that what I can do, you can do also. You are spirit incarnate, here and now. You have always been such and will always be such, despite how much of this you have forgotten. You cannot escape what you are. And, what you are is spirit expressing in flesh, pure and simple. The challenge is to live our lives as if we truly know this. That means ensuring our beliefs are consistent with this. This in turn will ensure that our actions are consistent with this as well. It is important to find that part of us that knows. It is there within each of us ... waiting to be found. However, we must look ... we must seek, if we are to find it.

It amazes me that this expression can continue to come forth as it does musing after musing ... and even line after line and paragraph after paragraph within each musing. Yet, come forth it does in full glory ... consciousness operating at its finest. Or, at least the finest that it can operate through me. It would be nice to have some reference points - some others in my life that I could use as sounding boards and as comparison points to see how consciousness expresses through them ... whether this be similar or different than through me. That's what friends are for! Hmm ... indeed it seems that such is the case. But, I'm 45 already and have not experienced having such people in my life. Interactions at work don't really count. They are somewhat constrained by the office environment. Though, there is nothing that limits such interactions to business.

Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. Book number seven, The Search for Center was waiting for me to proof when I got home yesterday. The cover looks great ... perhaps the best one yet. There are some formatting corrections that need to be made, but nothing major. And, since I did a thorough proof before submittal, I'm not going to do that again. I should be able to get the correction sheet and approval form to the publisher on Sunday. And then there was one. Wow! It is hard to believe. It is really happening. I did what it took to make it so ... but the universe cooperated and responded as well.

Now that the books are published, we move on to the next phase. How do we get them into the hands of those who are meant to be served by them? Yes, served by them. Books serve us. They entertain us and they educate us. How do I find the audience that is right for these works? To some degree, they will find me naturally ... one way or another. If this expression is meant to touch their path it will. Nothing on earth can stop it. However, it seems that there are things that I might do to make this easier. My publisher is not a well known one, though their name, Infinity Publishing , is quite appropriate for the Beyond Imagination books. You can find Beyond Imagination by searching for it or for Wayne Hartman. But, how would one know to do that? It seems that it is important to start doing something to let people know who I am and what Beyond Imagination is. I'm not aware of any standard mechanisms for doing this. At present ... I'm not offering any particular services, other than the wealth of material at the Beyond Imagination site and in the Beyond Imagination books. Yes, I am looking to establish cooperative interdependent relationships to help build the foundations for a new world. I know this is not something that I can do alone. Yet, I don't think I'm looking for 100's or 1000's to do this. It seems a few dozen may be sufficient in terms of whom I am meant to deal with directly. My sense is that we will know one another when we find one another, and that the nature of our relationship will evolve naturally if we allow it to.

Somehow, I need to do some advertising to get the word out. The word being that the Beyond Imagination site exists and that many Beyond Imagination books are published and available. Those who cannot afford the books can still benefit from the material at the site. However, we ask that everyone abide by the directive to never take more than you give. That means finding a way to be of service to others to compensate them at an equal or greater value to the service you receive from the Beyond Imagination material. You will know when the account is balanced. Spiritual economy is very simple. Credit is given when we give, debit when we take. The goal is to go out with a high credit balance. To do this, we need to live good lives, lives of service to ourselves, our families, our society, and our world. That doesn't mean that we can't have fun. That doesn't mean that we can't be selfish in some of the things that we do. We just need to consider the overall picture of how our energy and actions impact our world. Are we a source or a sink of energy? If we are a sink, we are taking more than we are giving and we need to find a way to adjust our behavior. We do this by adjusting our beliefs and our actions.

Happiness, why is it so elusive? I have so many positive things going in my life ... this expression, the Beyond Imagination books, my job, my family, my house and the things in my life. So, why am I not happy? The bottom line is that all of this is not enough. I know that there is more that I could be doing. I know that some of the limits in my present life are bonds and chains that I have accepted but that I no longer desire to accept. It's not that bad. It's not that I'm sad or depressed. It's just that I'm not happy and manic about life. Interesting. Perhaps part of it is biochemical. Perhaps the very drugs that I am taking to keep me from getting to manic states also keep me from getting to happy states. If memory serves me, I was quite happy when I was flying high on the wings of consciousness. It didn't seem to matter what else was going on in my life. Also, I enjoyed golfing a lot for several years until the side effects of the drugs impacted the fine motor coordination so that I could strike the ball consistently anymore. However, the game is not the same when you can't count on performing effectively.

How do we announce to the world that Beyond Imagination exists? What subset of the world would even be interested? One possibility of to do things that result in people becoming aware that I exist. Beyond Imagination is a natural extension of me. It is the expression that has come forth through me for the past decade. So, it is time for the hermit to be introduced to the world. That means speaking somehow. I can't see how to do this via writing alone no matter how much I might prefer that. It is time to take the act live as they say. It will be interesting to see what opportunities present themselves now that I have started thinking in this manner. It generally doesn't take long for things to start manifesting in my life. Do I have something to offer? Is my realtime presence something that will ultimately prove to be of value? Surely, it must be of value to some. I have no illusions that this might be many. Then again, it seems that Beyond Imagination is ultimately to impact many before its work is done. However, most will not be aware of the impact that Beyond Imagination is having since it is working behind the scenes building the very foundations and fabric out of which the new age society will be built.

It is not so important who gets credit for the changes to the social fabric that are to come. It is enough that the changes come and that they are instituted and reach as many people as possible. The bottom line is that it is spirit doing the work through us. She deserves the lion's share of the credit. Though, we must do our part. Spirit cannot express physically except through us. We have to do the work. We have to manifest the ideas in the world and then take the action to make them more than ideas, to make them a living reality in our world. If things are to change, it is up to us to change them. We are responsible for creating the world of our dreams ... but we need to beware of creating the world of our nightmares. Reality creation can be a two-edged sword if we are not careful in how we engage in it. That is why it is very important for our motives to be pure. That is why I still struggle with imposing my will on situations. If I impose my will, I am responsible for the outcome. However, if I allow spirit to move me ... it seems that I am relieved of the responsibility. Spirit herself has taken it on. Though, I still accept full responsibility for what I do and in some cases what I could have done but didn't do.

Life is too short to waste. We need to make empowering choices. We need to make choices that lead to our happiness. The pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right according to our founding fathers in the Declaration of Independence. How do we succeed in this pursuit? Yes, that is the question of the day. It seems that we have many pursuing happiness in a variety of ways but it also seems that few are really finding it. Then again, how would I know? How many people have I encountered?

Another day. Another blank screen to fill. That is OK. That is what blank screens are for after all. They provide opportunities to express that which has never been expressed before. At least that is the way I look at things. This expression ever expresses anew. It comes from a fount of which I know not. All that I know is that I have found a way to tap this thing that I call source within. I would like to think that the tapping came from extensive effort in digging the well. But, it may have been more fortuitous than this. It seems that my soul put me in the right place at the right time to make this connection. Part of that place included a belief structure and frame of mind that would be accepting of this manifestation of source. At times, I had to question my very sanity. How could I believe as I do? Yet, I am confronted by the evergrowing record of this expression. Even after over 10 years, it is still very much a mystery. That is OK. One could do far worse than to have the mysterious as a regular part of ones life. It definitely keeps life interesting. Then again, what is interesting for me could be boring for another. We each have our roles to play. It is for us to find what these are and then to play them to the best of our abilities. Hmm ... it seems that this includes the "evil" roles as well as the good ones. Are they not playing their parts as well? That is an interesting way of looking at things. Were Hitler and Stalin necessary evils? Were they needed to teach the world particular lessons? And, if so, did we learn those lessons? In general, when it comes to these matters the collective consciousness seems to be pretty dense. It is as if we are trying to move a mountain. And indeed, that is exactly what we are doing. But as the Bible says, if we believe sufficiently and command the mountain to move then it will move. The question is where do we want it to move to? How do we know what direction or what place is better? We can use utility ... move it and see if things are better. But it seems that it would be more efficient if we knew a better end state from the beginning and focused on moving to that. This is where our dreamers come in. There are people who know what directions spirit has planned for us. It helps if we stay in sync with these. It is not mandatory, but it definitely makes the way easier.

What would I do next? Five simple words of 16 letters. How we answer this question ultimately defines our destiny. We do things in the moment. That is the only point in which we have any power. The future is dependent on what we do now. And, we can only impact the future or the past by our actions in the present. I ask myself this question often. Sometimes I am surprised by the answers but usually not. Clearly, you are reading this because I am still moved to express in this manner. That continues to be a daily activity. There is a strong sense that there is more that I can do, but I am at loss as to what and how. I don't put myself in situations where I meet many people. And, of these, I have no idea as to how many might have metaphysical inclinations. Yet, it seems that somehow it is up to me to get the word of Beyond Imagination out to the world. How I do this is up to me. Though, as always, I trust that spirit will move me to act appropriately to get this done elegantly. That is how she operates in my life. I have no reason to think that this will change anytime soon. You could say that I am lucky to have such a relationship with spirit. But, it is not luck. We can all have such relationships. It takes work, but the key is to invite spirit to play an active role in our life. We have to be willing to listen to her and then take action on what she reveals to us. At times, that can be difficult. But, there is nothing that says everything in life must be easy. In fact, it seems that it is the difficult time, the challenges, that bring out the best in us. Not surprising, it seems this is how spirit tempers us ... just as steel is tempered. We are being prepared for some grand roles in the coming times. Spirit will be able to express in ways that go beyond anything that we have seen manifest before. This is new territory that we are venturing into. This is the grand adventure of consciousness. Oh, it always has been. It is just more so now because of the nature of the manifestation and the rapidity and scope of the changes. We are entering into some exciting times. Times that will knock our socks off spiritually. I, for one, anxiously await what lies ahead and what part I can play in its manifestation. Our spiritual roles are why we are here. More and more, more of us will realize this ... until the world becomes the conscious expression of spirit in flesh.

On with it. I would do what it is that I am destined to do. In a way this is my choice ... but it is a choice now to abide by a greater choice that I made at other than conscious levels before incarnating this time around. How can I be certain of this? I don't know, I just am. Some things we just know. They are not necessarily things that we have been taught, at least not in this existence. Though, with all that I have read in this incarnation it is difficult to say what I have been taught and what I have not been taught. I would guess that over 20 million words have passed through these eyes into this mind by now. And that is just the metaphysics related part. That doesn't count my formal education. Then again, my informal education I value the most, though it granted me no degrees. It is the education that has been most relevant to living my life. Then again, many people might not call what I do living. I sleep, I work, I eat, I commute, I write, I read, I play with my dogs. Note that there is very little interaction with others in these activities. Yes, I realize that there is something wrong with that and it is time to take action to remedy it. From my aura, communication is very important to me. However, communication is not a one way process. It is a give and a take of energy, of meaning. Thus far, the Beyond Imagination expression has been primarily a one-way activity. I express, or spirit expresses through me, and I don't even know who the expression reaches. That is OK. Or, it has been to date. But, I desire for it to transform into something more. With an exchange of information, feedback can occur to help focus and guide what is expressed so that the message is conveyed more clearly. So yes, there is a good reason for engaging others in this expression. But, that is a choice that I cannot make alone. I can invite the feedback, and I do wholeheartedly. I seek to establish friendships and cooperative interdependent relationships that permit us to create some grand things.

Yet, how do I, the ultimate introvert, do the things necessary to publicize this endeavor? Yes, I believe in it, with all of my heart and soul. But, that is not enough to go out and proselytize, at least not for me. Yes, I desire for the word to get out so that the expression that is captured at the site can be unleashed to do good works in the lives of people. But, that desire is not strong enough to get me out of my shell and cause my basic behavior to change. Perhaps it should be. I simply observe what has occurred over the past few months since I got the promotional material for Best Passages of 2002 Musings. Most of it is still sitting in my office at work or on my desk at home. I have no clue as to whom or where to send it to. I have two books on self-publishing and promoting books, but I've only made it part way through these. Maybe that is the place to start. It just takes a few good ideas to get things rolling. Perhaps there is something that even an introvert would be comfortable with. Is this a limitation that I'm imposing on myself? Or is introversion truly an innate part of my character? And, if so, is there a way to use that to advantage? There is a reason I am wired in the manner that I am. One reason might be the challenge to overcome a natural limitation. However, introversion is only a limitation if you are trying to engage in extroverted behavior. The trick is to couch the problem in terms that the natural traits of introversion can address. We are free to reframe problems in any way that we desire. We don't have to adapt us to the problem at hand. We can adapt the problem at hand to suit us. Though we still need to do what we can to stretch and develop our capabilities to the utmost.

There is a sense that there is something that I could be doing that I am not yet doing. Further, it is something that is congruent with whom that I know that I am. It does not require tapping skills or abilities that I do not possess or in which I am weak. It is right there in front of me, waiting to be done if I would but see it. Hmm ... I wonder what it could be? I just got a sense that it may involve others. That was followed by a shiver from my right side of my head through my right side of my neck. Who in my circle of acquaintances might be able to help? I'm not used to thinking in these terms, but it would definitely be a solution. At this point, not even my family knows what Beyond Imagination books have been published. This has truly be a lone enterprise. How do I change that? Who do I know that would read the books and then be willing to help market them? Is that asking too much of someone else? If it is meant to be, it will be. Otherwise, I will continue to fill whatever roles are necessary as well as I can. This has been enough in the past. It will just have to continue to be enough. I can only give of what I am ... and that is still limited while in this existence. Though, it is far less limited now than it was prior to March of 1993 when this expression began. What is it that I can do? Who is it that I can enlist to help me in this endeavor? Is this someone that I already know, or someone I have yet to meet? There is a strong sense that there would be great benefit in working with others on various endeavors. One area would be promoting. However, another area would be the creation of joint expressions that are a marriage of what both of us have to offer. I'm definitely open to this. I expect to have a dozen works published by the end of 2004. That is enough to establish me as a metaphysical author. I could easily work on several joint projects during the year as well. If you are interested and have ideas in this area, by all means contact me and let's see if we can work something out. Similarly, if you've enjoyed the Beyond Imagination material and think you might be able to help promote the Beyond Imagination web site and Beyond Imagination books, please contact me as well. At this point in time, I like focusing on what I do best. Right now, that is bringing forth this material. Though I am open to public appearances, talks, Q&A sessions, workshops, etc ... if these would help to get the word out.

I was bad again -- missed another day of musing. I had an opportunity to muse in the late afternoon and another in the evening after the commute to LA but I was too tired to do it. I actually made a couple of attempts, but did not even get as far as turning the computer on. Oh well. On to a new day and what consciousness would express next. I did get the corrections sheet and approval form for The Search for Center faxed to the publisher. That brings us to seven. We'll be there officially within about 3 weeks.

Today started off well. I sold my first copy of The Early Works. That makes three books sold of which I am aware. It's not much, but it's a start. It is interesting seeing all seven books displayed on the credenza in my office, especially knowing that all of these came out this year. Yes, 2003 has been a very productive year for Beyond Imagination. It will be interesting to see what 2004 brings. In the government, we start fiscal year 2004 on Wednesday, October 1. However, in my case, it seem that the calendar year is more important. We planted well this year ... and the harvest has been bountiful. Now, it seems it is time to bring the harvest to market and see what it will yield. That is an interesting way of looking at things ... but it seems an accurate one. Is that what I am doing with the Beyond Imagination books? And, how do I bring them to market? Just looked over at the books again ... it is curious that they were published in a somewhat random order, but when laid out in a time sequence, the cover colors line up in the order of the spectrum. The earliest book has dark blues and purple; the next two, lighter blues; the fourth, greens; the fifth, yellow; and the sixth and seventh reds and light browns. There is a sense that this is not by accident. Also, my service provider is Redshift. It is curious that the covers for the books with the newest material would be shades of red.

The order of publication was 5 - 1 - 6 - 2 - 3 - 7 - 4. I'm sure there is something significant in that as well.

      5: The Hierophant
    16: The Tower
    23: King of Wands = wayne
    74: Six of Pents = The Benefactor = wayne ellis hartman

That is a pretty powerful sequence for me, especially given that 16:The Tower is my most important Tarot card. The ordering was a simple chronological ordering of the material in each book, with 1 for the earliest work and 7 for the most recent. It is amazing how these kinds of things reveal meaning. There were different cover designers for many of the books. Further, the cover designers did not know what other books had been published or where they fit chronologically. Yet, the overall result is not random. It reveals that there is a guiding hand in all of this somehow. I had little to say in the cover design, with the exception of the second book published (1), in which they used a Beyond Imagination graphic that I had provided from the site. It is appropriate that this particular book would have this cover. It is the primer that sets the stage for the Beyond Imagination expression. At 288 pages, it is also the smallest of the published works. It is split into three sections: the Beyond Imagination book, Reality Creation 1010, and Best Quotes. Even after 10 years, it is still new to me, so I would hope that others would find it new and original as well. It does make me wonder how I could so suddenly start to think and express like that. Though, there was a lot of preparation in terms of self-education in metaphysics.

Worked up a spreadsheet on expenses / sales for Beyond Imagination this year. Obviously we are severely in the red thus far. We've invested over $3800 with a return of $68. That is to be expected. Most of the books have not been available long enough for any credited sales to be made from the publishers site. Their royalty payments lag sales by about two months. Next month will be the first opportunity to see if we are reaching people strongly enough for them to commit to buying our books. We would hope that this is the case, but only time will tell. Actually, considering that we will have published eight books for that amount, I feel good about the decision to do this. We must not forget that the monetary investment is peanuts compared to the time invested in expressing the material and then packaging it as books. The books are literally the result of thousands of hours invested in doing the work of Beyond Imagination. In 2003 alone, I expect to have put in over 1000 hours by years end. Last year, 2002, was a 1000+ hour year as well.

I have to believe that what I am doing has value ... that what I am doing is worth the effort and resources that I put into it. How do I know whether this is really true or not? First, I get great value because the expression literally changes me. Seeing what is able to be expressed through me has been a great awakener. I don't know where else I could have gone to get such experiences. I believe the material could do similar things for others, providing them an example of what can come forth if we allow it to. What I do, you can do also. Perhaps not in exactly the same way. And, even if you are good with words, your words will be yours and will be expressed in a style that is unique to you. That is OK. There is a reason that we are all unique individuals. There is something that is to be expressed in all of this. Be whom that thou are. Such is the directive of spirit. It is not for us to be as others are but to be as we alone can be. That doesn't mean that we cannot learn from what others have done and where others have been. We just need to make sure that the lessons that we learn are indeed ours to learn and empower us.

There is a spiritual destiny that is unfolding. How are those of us who are introverts to play out our roles? It seems that it is up to us to seek inside to find what our roles are ... and then to fashion the reality necessary to act out these roles. We are reality creators after all. That is what reality creation is all about. As introverts, we can choose to do our work behind the scenes. We don't have to enter the limelight if we don't choose to. There are plenty of others who not only can do that, but who enjoy doing that. There is no reason that we have to adopt roles that are inconsistent with our basic character ... unless we choose to do so in an attempt to grow in a particular area. The bottom line is to pay attention to the inner forces that move us. These may also be reflected in the outer circumstances that we face, but it is best if they are resolved on inner lives first. Then again, this advice may be specific to introverts. I have no firsthand knowledge of how extroverts view the world and are moved by it ... at least not in this existence.

We speak with a voice of authority ... yet, where does the authority with which we speak originate? I've been doing this for over a decade now. I don't really ask that question much anymore. I have accepted that there is a source that is able to communicate to me and through me. It is a source that is located somewhere within. It is a source that I would trust with my life. Yes, that is how much I value the information that comes forth. No, I don't necessarily believe and act upon every word. I trust that I will know what to believe, when to act, and what action(s) to take. The process is not a reasoned one, however, it is an intuitive one for me. I just know. It is not something that I have to figure out. Some might consider me fortunate to have such a relationship to spirit. Indeed, I consider myself quite fortunate. At the same time, it took a lot of self work to get where I am at. Looking back, it was definitely worth it. Though, I would hope that the years to come will be more filled with happiness than the years that have passed. In any event, I am truly looking forward to what is to come ... even though I do not yet know specifically what that is to be. At this point, the generalities are good enough. And, from what I can see, things look very promising. The sense is that the past ten years are nothing compared to what can be. They are but a hint of what can be done when we make the choice to consciously express spirit in flesh.

What would I do next? I ask that question nearly every day. Though, I don't really ask with the expectation that I need to come up with an answer. The bottom line is that I do what I am moved to do. I allow that to be revealed moment by moment. There is something to be said for living life in the present. For me anyway, it seems to be the way that I have to live. I've never been much of a planner. Though, if we are going to build the foundations for a new world, someone will have to do some planning of some type. At this point in time, I don't know whether that someone will be or include me. Spirit will ensure that I am placed where I can be of most service in support of the overall plan for the greater expression of consciousness in flesh. I trust that I have a particular role to play and that I will be moved to play it. More and more, life is becoming the adventure in consciousness that it is meant to be. Though, it should be an adventure in flesh and blood as well. We are physical beings after all. Part of our task is to be physical. We just need to find ways to be spiritual even as we are physical. That is not so hard to do. We cannot escape being spiritual ... ever! Further, while we are incarnate we cannot escape being physical try though we might. This is not a resignation. Rather, it is a celebration of our nature as spirit in flesh. Life itself should be a celebration. It is a tremendous gift that we have been given. It is up to us to make the most of it and find ways to give back something of what we have been given. We do this by doing something that makes a difference ... preferably a large positive difference to others, or to the world. We need to make masterpieces of our lives ... living masterpieces. Given that we are all masters at the art of reality creation, this should be something that is natural for us. Masters create masterpieces. That is simply what they do. However, few of us are conscious masters at much of anything. We have to do some soul searching to find out what we are best at and then find ways to express that creatively in service.

$1 per word. That is the suggested going rate for this expression. If even 300 people buy each book generated from this expression, that would cut the cost to 1 cent per word. However, there are over 150,000 words in several of the books. That would be $1500 per book ... a bit out of most peoples range. To drop this to $10 per book, we need to spread the cost over 150 people. That would mean we need 300 x 150 or about 50,000 sales per book to achieve the $1 per word figure. That seems like a lot of sales, but is it? How would I know? Actually, there was no stipulation as to when the sales would happen. They could be spread out over the remainder of my life. That could mean spreading the sales over as many as 25 years. Worst case, that would be 2,000 sales per book per year. Even that is a lot, especially given how few people I know. But, this country is a big place. It is a matter of finding those people who are meant to experience this expression. If it is meant to be it will be. I have taken the first step and got the books published. Clearly, I will need some help from the universe if they are to be a success. But first steps first. We will have to see what happens from here.

Can we really be to the end of another month already. They just seem to fly by ... one after another. No rest for the weary as they say. There is much to do and much to express before we are finished with this year. That's OK. We still have one quarter of the year to go. That is a lot of time ... especially if we apply ourselves and use it effectively. Who knows what can be accomplished with spirit by our side. The possibilities are bright. The sense is that we will start to see this expression transform into whatever it is to be next. I don't foresee more of the same for 2004. We have been going at full speed with near daily musings for 21 months already. That is a lot of time for such intense and focused activity. Then again, it is not clear that "focused" really applies to these stream of consciousness musings. It is not that I don't want to put in the time anymore. I'm comfortable with that and am sure that I could continue at a roughly half time level indefinitely. However, I would like to see the expression have more impact. To do that, it has to reach people and move people. I believe that if we can get it to reach people, the expression will indeed move them. Yes, I consider the expression that good. But, it is not clear that the one through whom the expression comes is the best judge is its utility to others. There, it seems that people must pass their own judgment. That is OK. I don't consider judgments about the nature and quality of the material to be judgments about the originator. Here, it seems that my role is as a scribe and messenger. If you don't like what is expressed, go elsewhere or provide constructive feedback. I won't guarantee that I will follow it ... but I will at least be receptive to it. Listening is an art that seems to be lost on many people. Personally, I need to apply some of the listening skills that I've developed in connecting to the source within to external sources in my world. It is not yet clear what external sources these will be. But, that seems to be the next step for me, translating some of what I have learned in the inner into outer expression. You might call these musings and the Beyond Imagination works outer expression. They are physical. They are available openly to be accessed by all who can find them. But, somehow this is not enough. It is as if this is really between inner and outer expression. It is not until the message is delivered to its intended audience that the work becomes outer expression. I'm trying. I'm doing the best I can with what I know.

It seems that it would help to find or create a mutual support group of some kind so that we could encourage one another and provide the stimulus needed for us to achieve truly great things. I still believe that this will require cooperation. It takes people working together to express synergistic behavior. There is only so much that we can do in isolation from one another. But, how do I find those with whom I am meant to work? Perhaps they are asking this very same question. To some extent, I believe this is destined. The people that we are meant to work with will gravitate to our sphere of influence somehow. It helps if we do things to extend this sphere to make it easy for people to find. I would hope that the Beyond Imagination web site and books go a long way toward doing that. But, are there other things that I could be doing? How much can be expected from one person? Clearly, I demand a lot from myself. I don't place the same demands on others however. I know what I am capable of ... or at least what I believe that I am capable of. My sense is that the reality is that I am far more capable than even I know. This is not true only of me, it is true of all of us. When we start believing in ourselves, we can do wonders beyond imagination. It all starts with what we believe. What we believe will be what we experience. Effectively, beliefs are like self-fulfilling prophecies. We end up drawing into our reality those things that conform to our beliefs. That is simply how it works. We create our own reality. We always have. We always will. If we don't like what we experience, the only place to blame is ourselves. We are creating it all, no fine print, no exceptions. That is a tough one to swallow for many. It is far more desirable to be able to blame something or someone else for our troubles. As a loner most of my life, this has never really been an option for me. I accepted the ideas from the Seth books hook, line, and sinker. This was a double-edged sword however. It offered the ultimate freedom but required the ultimate responsibility. That is OK. It was well worth it. However, of what practical use is this now? Can I envision working with others on collaborative efforts? Can I see it, really see it? Can I feel it and taste it? Can I really imagine it happening, and not just in some distant future, but sometime soon? Actually, the answer to most of these questions is yes. This is indeed something that I see happening in the immediate future ... perhaps not this year, but definitely in 2004. Is that because I want it to happen? Is this another one of those time predictions in which I have too much of a desire to make so to be objective about it. Perhaps, perhaps not. It seems that we shall see soon enough. 2004 is just three months away, that's only one season. That brings us to the Winter months. It will be interesting to see what manifests not only in my life but in the world at large. There are many changes that need to occur on a grand scale. But, the sense is that these will start small and grow into exactly what they need to be.

My destiny seems intricately tied to the destiny of the world somehow. I've said before that my life is to have world import. I am here to make a difference on a grand scale. Yes, the grandiose thinking is peeking through again. But, what am I to think given whom that I AM and observing what has come forth through me over the past decade? This is not your ordinary expression ... either in quantity or content. Clearly I am blessed to be able to serve consciousness in this manner. Though, there are some of you that might have used the term cursed rather than blessed. That is OK. You have the right to judge what is expressed as you will. And besides, your opinion has no impact on my reality. If I feel blessed, then indeed I am blessed.

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY! I doubt that anyone but me will remember it, but today is the tenth anniversary of my first vacation to the mental hospital and my subsequent diagnosis as bipolar. My we have come a long way since then. That first vacation was to last 10 days but was to be repeated again approximately 4.5 years later. I guess the good news is that there was not another repeat at the nine year point. However, this time I wasn't moved to stop taking my medications ... which seemed to be the major trigger for the second episode. The medications seem to keep the condition in check somehow. They keep my brain functioning in an "acceptable" range. Though I can't help but wonder what I could do if I were in full possession of my faculties. I see what is able to be expressed through me and am awestruck. Yet, I can imagine doing more, much more. Can it really have been 10 years already? How is that possible? Yet, the dates don't lie. 1 October 1993 to 1 October 2003 is indeed a decade.

I find it somewhat sad that there would be no one in my life who would be aware of such a significant day for me. In many respects, this is more important than my birthday. It did indeed correspond to a spiritual birth, a major spiritual awakening. Even after 10 years, the doctors don't accept that such a spiritual transition occurred. But, what do they know? They weren't experiencing what I was experiencing and my attempts to explain it were futile. I don't know if we are any better off today or not. I don't know if there are places people can go to ease the spiritual rebirth process. I would hope that there are, but I have no experience to know one way or the other. Actually, this is par for the course. As a hermit, my interactions with people are limited. Why would I expect anyone to be aware of anything about my life? Yes, I have shared much here. But, there are literally millions of words shared on these pages. What do I expect people to remember from any of this ... assuming that they find their way here at all? Hmm ... perhaps it is time for an Introduction to Beyond Imagination that provides an Executive Summary of the information contained at the site, pulling in appropriate excerpts as needed to illustrate what these works contain. That sounds like a good project for 2004. It will require the generation of significant new material to serve as a package for the selected excerpts. We might also do a Best of the Best work that literally sifts through everything that has been expressed to date and pulls out the most precious gems.

It seems like the energy is right for doing such planning now. It is the beginning of a new fiscal year after all. There is a reason that such years have such boundaries. I don't know exactly what that is. However, I sense a freshness, a new energy that is available to tap now. It is as if 2004 has indeed started in some ways. And this is only the beginning. It will be interesting to see where the energy takes us as the year progresses. The sense is that grand things are in store. We have to either choose to be part of them or get out of the way. I have clearly made my choice. I would not change it. I have a major role to play in the destiny that is to unfold. I know that. It is a matter of allowing myself to do what I came to do. It seems that this requires going outside of what I have established as my comfort zones. But, it is important to do it anyway. There is no room for fear here. We must have the courage to be whom that we are, and to express that as fully as we can. To do less is to waste portions of our life ... and potentially to harm others. We may think that we are protecting them by holding back, but the truth is that they are aware anyway. What we think and feel is picked up and sensed by others around us; perhaps not consciously, but on some level. Our souls are not fooled by appearances ... they know the truth!

How do I harness this energy that I feel surging around me? There is a sense that it is here to be used somehow. Further, there is a sense that it can be used to shape reality into what we would have it be. This is different than just expressing what would come forth. Here we are talking about doing things and creating things with the energy. That is more than creating more words. This is how the foundations for a new world will be built. The foundations will be physical foundations, not just ideas and thoughts. Yet, even physical foundation are thoughts manifested into form. Ultimately, the world and everything that's in it arises from thought. How can I know such things? Clearly, they did not come from my formal education ... all 17 years of it. Part of it came from my informal education in metaphysics ... all 30 years of it. But, much of it came from tapping and expressing the source within. It just knows. The question is do I also have to know for it to be able to express its truths through me. It seems that yes, I do have to know. Though, clearly I do not consciously know all that is expressed through me. That is OK. There are many things that we are able to do without really knowing how. It is fine for these to remain mysteries, at least for the time being. Mysteries stir our souls. They bring a touch of the miraculous into our lives. There was a book by the title In Search of the Miraculous by Ouspensky that I read many years ago. The bottom line is that we don't have to search very far to find the miraculous at work in our lives. Take something as simple as speaking. When we begin a sentence we don't know how we will end it. Yet, most people are able to speak perfectly fine anyway by trusting the process. I suspect most people don't even think twice about it. But, how many things do you do automatically ... that you have no conscious control over. The human body and brain are miraculous vehicles for the expression of spirit in flesh. But, much of what they can do lies in potential only, awaiting us to take the steps required to actualize it.

We are literally on the threshold of a dream. It is a collective dream that has been build from the best ideas that have been expressed over the millennia. It is time for this dream to manifest. That is much of what the new age, the Aquarian Age is all about. Aquarius is an air sign. It deals primarily in the realm of ideas. Pisces, the ruler of the prior age, was a water sign. This deals with feelings and emotions. The sense is that the Aquarian Era will provide fertile ground for the planting of new ideas ... and out of such ideas the new world will be formed. I believe that we will start to see this happen in my lifetime. And, I only expect to live another 25 years. So, we are not talking centuries here ... we are talking of massive change within decades.

The counter at the Beyond Imagination Main Page is at 1648 = The Lightning Struck Tower: The Man in Search of More. That is appropriate for my present state. 16 is the number that signifies awakening to me. 4/8 is my birthday. 48 is me. I am the Man in Search of More. I have eight full cups, five of mind and three of consciousness ... but I know there is more. And it is to the unknown realms of spirit that I am attracted as a moth to a flame. I am not satisfied with what I have done to date. I know that there is far more that I could do if I applied myself appropriately. You might say that I set the bar extremely high. Perhaps too high. Though if we don't reach for the stars from time to time, how do we know what we are capable of? It is amazing what happens when you do this. It is as if the very forces of the universe conspire to help you achieve what you set out to do. That is not surprising ... as it is spirit doing the work anyway. It is but for us to allow the process to work as it is meant to work. No, this does not mean sacrificing our life to anything. Though, it does require making a commitment, a commitment to ourselves to be the best that we can be. That is when the magic happens. When each of us does our part, whatever that might be ... everything proceeds according to the plan of consciousness for the greater expression of spirit in flesh.

As I suggested earlier, it doesn't appear that anyone is going to remember how important this day is to me other than me. That is OK. Though, it seems that it is time to do things to ensure that such does not continue to be the case in the future. That means cultivating some friendships, and close friendships at that. I think that I am ready for this step. But friendship is a mutual relationship between people who are equals. Who do I regard as my equals? Clearly not everyone. But, my abilities don't make me any better than anyone else, at least not in any absolute sense. What these abilities do is allow me to do things in ways that are more effective than others are able to do them ... or in some cases are completely different than others can do things. Yes, that makes me special. But, we are all special in our own ways. It is for us to develop our natural talents and find ways to use these in service to others, society, and even the world.

Dream big! That is what dreams are for. Push the envelope wherever you can. Don't be content with the status quo. Use your life to make a statement and make a difference. This can start small if it needs to. A small change now can yield a great difference in time. However, we must make it our responsibility to create the reality that we desire ... to seed the changes that we want to effect in the world. In taking this responsibility, we own what is rightfully ours and we make it within our power to be the change that we want to see in the world. Change is an internal process. We don't cause it to happen outside of us. We become what we want to be. The choice to become is always made in the present. That is where our true power is. That is where our reality is created. So, ask yourself ... what difference would I make with my life? What legacy do I want to leave? What evidence will survive me as proof that I even lived? What will I do that will justify my having consumed a lifetimes worth of resources? These are tough questions. But, if we don't ask them and try to answer them during the course of our life, we truly will reach the end with nothing to show for ourselves. Not everyone is meant to change the world. However, you can have a positive impact in the lives of your family, friends, coworkers, and those whom your life touches. How far this impact stretches is up to you. If you are reading this, my sense is that you are sufficiently evolved and aware that you are meant to be a part of the larger spiritual drama that is unfolding. Exactly what your role is is something that you will have to discover yourself. There are people who offer services that can help. Most of these involve assisting you in knowing thyself. That is the first step. The more we know about ourselves, the more that we have to offer to the world.

Given the significance of the day ... we are off to a good start for the month. There is indeed a new energy in the air. I think it is evidenced in the nature of what was expressed today. It will be interesting to see how this unfolds in the coming days and months. All that I can say is that I like what I am seeing. It feels right somehow. We seem to be at a turning point. I don't yet know what direction will be the end result ... but I am open to following whatever it is and plowing ahead to wherever it takes me. Life is meant to be an adventure ... and an exciting one at that. If such is not your experience, it is high time for a change so that it is. Much of this advice is directly applicable to me personally. But, it seems that it is also applicable to others since I am moved to share it in this manner.

I'm not sure why, but there was an unexpected jump in page hits between yesterday and today. The Main Page counter went up by 44 in less than one day while the World and Beyond Imagination book counters went up by 12. This has not happened before as far as I know. The only change that I am aware of is that the Sedona Journal issue for October should have come out. Perhaps the ad is doing some good. This is over six times the previous average page hit rate per day. It will be interesting to see if this is an anomaly or a sustained level of activity. This is what I was hoping for. We need people to be exposed to Beyond Imagination if it is to affect the world in the ways that I believe it is meant to. One way or another, time will tell. I'm curious as to what I will be moved to do next. There is a sense that I am doing exactly what I need to be doing ... that I am creating exactly what I need to be creating. Yet, what does it take to be happy, truly happy? At the moment, that still eludes me. Though, I am learning and growing every day. Ultimately it is doing what I am able to do that should bring me the most happiness. I am coming close to being the best that I can be. Though, I like to set the bar higher than even I believe that I can achieve so that I can find out what I am truly capable of. When we challenge ourselves, it is amazing to see what we are able to deliver.

My first stay in the mental hospital was for 10 days starting 10 years ago yesterday. I still recall that experience as if it were yesterday. Yes, I was functional and aware of what was going on. I was aware that my mind and consciousness were taking me on excursions that were outside of the conventions of the consensus reality. But, I was in the midst of a spiritual awakening. I wasn't seeing the world as the other bipolar patients were seeing it. I wasn't depressed. And, my manic states while they resulted in some "crazy" thinking were highly positive overall. I wasn't you're typical bipolar patient. I wasn't there to treat a disorder. In fact, I considered my condition a blessing, a feature of my brain that allowed me to think in the way that I did. I was having an intense spiritual experience. It didn't matter that the doctors had no clue as to what I was going through. Their focus was on containing the situation by getting the medication levels to the therapeutic range. They had no means to deal with differences in individual experiences. Spiritual emergence was not in their vocabulary. Yet that is exactly what was happening to me. I was emerging from a chrysalis in a cocoon state. The mania allowed me to spread my spiritual wings and fly. Though, I knew that the situation was getting out of hand. All that I wanted to do is fly, spiritually. That is a very dangerous place to be. It makes living in the world nearly impossible. We need something that helps to keep us stable and grounded. I didn't really have this. The whole experience from July 1993 to October 1993 was interesting. You could definitely say that I was losing what I knew to be my mind. But in exchange, I was gaining an understanding of my Self as Spirit. The exchange was well worth it.

Now, here we are ten years later. What has been the difference? Has the increased awareness made me more happy? Clearly not as evidenced by some of the recent musings. However, I have been quite productive in ways that I never was before. I have a body of works expressed in several million words captured at a web site and published in 5, soon to be 7, and eventually to be 8 books. That is as of the end of 2003. I'm generating close to a half million words per year right now. I have been for the past two years anyway. How much longer this will last, I do not know. But, I enjoy doing it and consider it worthwhile even if I don't see how it directly benefits anyone. That is one area that I have found surprising and somewhat disappointing. Given how many words I generate and how much I share, I expected that there would be more feedback. I invite it and respond to it promptly ... but I rarely get any. Perhaps I scare people away. Perhaps I come across as unapproachable somehow. But, this is definitely not the case. I may be stubborn and even pig-headed at times, but I do listen. What I have (bipolar) is not catchy ... though you could do far worse than to think like I do. This expression provides a means for you to follow my thoughts and states of mind for awhile. Hopefully that will allow you to experience states of consciousness that are new and different for you. This expression is meant to be mind expanding and consciousness expanding. That is one of the highest goals any expression can have ... to allow us to experience being more than we knew ourselves to be before.

So, a decade has passed since this spiritual rebirth. What is in store for the decade to come? It seems for one thing we have more of the same. This communication is far from over. Spirit has much more to express before our work together is through. Hmm ... that is an interesting way of putting it. But, this is definitely our work together. Without spirit there would be nothing to come through as was true for the first 34 years of my life. Yet, without me, this particular expression would not exist. Would that be a loss? I have to say yes, a major loss. I consider this expression highly valuable. Though it is not clear that I can place a price on it. That is not quite true. I have been moved to set $1 per word as the fair market value for what comes forth. I have no clue who is going to pay that or how it is to be paid. But, one way or another it seems that it will indeed be paid. Given that I express and average of 8,000-10,000 words per week, that is asking for a lot. Or is it? Where else can you find material such as this? I have read extensively for 30 years and have yet to encounter anything like it. That is not to say it is good necessarily ... but, it is different. Here, we have a consciousness revealing its awareness of the reality it experiences in realtime on a regular basis for several hours per day. That makes for an impressive record ... a record that can be shared and used to move others ... a record that can enable others to experience a whole new way of seeing things. That is power, the power to make a difference, a real difference in people's lives. But it doesn't happen by just wishing for it to be so. In this case we have to allow consciousness to come forth, we have to capture what she says, and we have to share what we capture. All of this we can do. It is a matter of setting priorities. In my life, this expression is the #1 priority. Here is where I fulfill my spiritual destiny. Everything else falls lower down the list. That is why I don't like missing these musings. There is a sense of opportunity lost that can never be recovered. Each time I come here to express something magical happens. The words just flow forth one after another. They keep coming so long as I stay focused and allow them to. Oh, there are breaks and silent moments from time to time, but these are the exception rather than the rule. Even after over 10 years, I still don't know how all of this is possible. Clearly it is. It happens. I experience it. But it is still magical. Consciousness' ways are mysterious. That is OK, that is what they are meant to be. We may never fathom her depths. However, we will learn enough about how she operates to be a good partner.

We continue to express as consciousness would have us express. That is good enough. We trust that what she has to say needs to be said and will reach those who it is meant to reach somehow. We do what we can to assist in and facilitate this process. But ultimately it is spirit that decides what reached who, when. Our main role is to bring the expression forth. This we have become very good at. They say practice makes perfect and three hours per day is quite a bit of practice. Hmm ... but this seems to be more than practice. Most people do not share their practice sessions with others. Yet here, I am moved to post unfiltered everything that is expressed and to eventually publish much of it in books. Why am I so moved? I don't know, I just am. It has been that way since I first found out I could post things to the WWW in 1995, over eight years ago. I've been my own webmaster and had a Beyond Imagination site since then. There is a sense that at some point I am to team with others and create a mutual expression. When this will be is for consciousness to decide. This does not seem to be something I can force. Though, I can be open to it and even desirous of it happening. Sometimes that is enough. At other times we have to work to manifest what we want. It takes wisdom to know when to allow versus when to actively work on getting things to manifest. That is part of the art of living.

What else would I do with my life? How can I make a greater difference in the lives of those whom my life touches? These are good questions to ask. It is in the asking of questions that we find the answers that we seek. We just won't know until we have the awareness and the courage to ask. Yes, it takes courage to ask questions. We have to be ready for answers that we may not like. That is OK ... it is almost always better to know than not to know. When we ask questions we need to do so with the expectation that the answers will come and then we need to be open to the answers to come into our life in a variety of ways. The universe has many means for answering us. Only one of these is a voice in our head that tells us the answer directly. Other ways can be far more subtle or even symbolic. As to my answers to the first question: I would be all that I can be and do all that I am moved to do. Further, I would allow spirit to express through me as she will for however long the expression is of service. It seems that this will be one channel of expression for the remainder of my life. Though, that does not mean it will consume all of my life. Right now, this is only a third time expression occupying 1000 of 3000 hours of my "working" life per year. If I could free myself to focus on Beyond Imagination endeavors, it is not clear that the expression time would change substantially. There are other things that need to be done that take time to do. Interacting with others is one of these things. Building the foundations for a new world is another. Most of the foundations involve social organization of some type. Dealing with people takes time. But, it seems to be an investment that I need to make if I am to engage in cooperative interdependent endeavors.

Perhaps it is not a fluke. There were another 22 hits to the Beyond Imagination Main Page overnight. That suggests that more people are accessing the site. I have no means of knowing whether they are finding value in the material. But, the very fact that the material is being accessed at this higher rate is very promising. I believe the expression is worthy of an audience. Perhaps this is spirits way of letting me know that the time is finally right. The material continues to flow forth. At this pace, we'll definitely have enough for the final volume in the 2003 Musings trilogy. That will make three sizeable books to capture one years worth of expression ... nearly 1800 pages in all. That is in addition to all the other book work. The annotations for Beyond Mind are going well also. I finished another month last night. That makes three months completed already. We only have June through September remaining, though some of these months were substantial. That is OK. I suspect it will be done by the end of the month at the present pace, including a proofing. Yes, there I go setting the bar high again. But we've been doing great at meeting our goals in this area of late. It is no use resting on our laurels now. The sooner that we finish what's on our plate, the sooner that we'll be able to take on more. And, that is what life is about.

Spent a couple hours generating a new work, The Spiritual Interpretations of Numbers. There are over 170 pages to it already and we are missing inputs from six months of the Best of Notes files. The work does a decent job of identifying many of the discoveries I have made regarding the spiritual meaning of numbers in my life. It is amazing how much can be accomplished in so short of a time when you have something to start from. I had no idea as to how much of a project this would be. Further, it wasn't even on the planning boards as a potential book for 2004. Now, it seems that it may end up being the first out of the gate. Interesting. That is one of the benefits of living life in the moment. You can do these kinds of things when spirit moves you. Now, I need to start saving enough to publish the books. This one and Beyond Mind should easily be finished before Thanksgiving. That's only eight weeks away. Saving $100 a week would cover it. 2003 Musings - Vol III should be ready to go to the publisher by the end of January. That would bring us to 11 books published by my birthday in April 2004. Earlier today, I got an idea for another book, On the Nature of Consciousness. This could pull material from everything to date that explains what consciousness is and how it expresses through us. This will take more work to generate ... but who cares? It takes what it takes. What is important is to express what needs to be expressed. This would bring us to four for 2004. There could be another one or two books depending on whether the musings continue or not and depending on what else I am moved to express. In any event, it seems that 2004 is to be a productive year as well. Though the first two of these books would actually be submitted to the publisher well before the end of 2003.

Checked the Beyond Imagination Main Page counter again. It was up by another 10 hits. Though one of those was mine. Something has definitely triggered increased traffic. I would guess that it is my Sedona Journal ad:

BEYOND IMAGINATION
Creating the Foundations for a New World. Thousands of pages of metaphysical expression since 1993. Addresses reality creation, nature of consciousness, expressing spirit in flesh, awakening, awareness. [www.redshift.com/~beyond]

I submitted the ad nearly two months ago under the Reality Creation banner. It takes awhile to get things done in the publishing world. Would this be enough for you to be moved to check it out see what Beyond Imagination has to offer? No, these are not necessarily topics that everyone is interested in. Though, the readers of the Sedona Journal are likely to have interests in these areas. However, I'm not sure how many people read the Classified Ads section of the magazine. All that we can do is see. My sense is that those who are meant to find Beyond Imagination will indeed find it. Though, there is also a sense that it is up to me to do what I can to facilitate this.

Change is in the air again. A new season is upon us. It seems time to reap some of what we have sown. Though, we leave it in spirits hands as to how this will manifest. However, spirit will not do for us those things that we can perfectly well do for ourselves. We are able beings capable of doing great works. It is up to us to apply ourselves in such a manner as to manifest this. We will truly be amazed at what we are able to accomplish ... especially when we allow spirit to work through us. I was told that I could do anything I set my mind to when I was growing up. And, I believed it. Now, I would adjust that and say that I can do anything I set my consciousness to. I believe my mind to be a tool of my consciousness. As an aware being, it is in the realm of consciousness, not of mind that I dwell. There is a difference, a big difference. So, what is it that I need to do that I am not presently doing? It seems that something is still missing. There is something that I could be doing to facilitate the changes that are to come. But, I don't know what it is. The very fact that I am aware that something is lacking will be the impetus to bring what is necessary into my life. But is that realistic, or is that simply wishful thinking. I still have a difficult time when I have something at stake ... especially something major at stake in the outcome. At the same time I know that all that I can really do is allow what would manifest to manifest ... and be open to run with the ball should it be handed to me in the process. It is for me to do what I can do ... that is all that can be expected. Our best is always good enough. It helps to realize that people are doing the best with what they have at all times. It is not for us to judge them. We know not what states of consciousness they experience or what reality they face. There is no way for us to walk in their shoes, even if we wanted to. Or is there? What any of us experience, all of us experience. It is a matter of being able to access that.

This expression provides you with a big sample of what flows through this mind, this consciousness. In reading it, you are following the output that was generated while I was experiencing particular states. Does the expression trigger you to experience similar states? I can't know that. I can only know what the expression does for me. It allows me to revisit states of awareness that I have previously experienced. When I read or re-read the words, it is as if they are new ... coming forth for the first time. Sometimes there is a sense of deja vu, a general sense that I've been here before. But, most of time it is a fresh new experience. How can that be? How can I, the author, not be aware of the words that have come forth through me? For one thing, in just over a decade there have been several million words that have come forth. How can I be expected to remember even a small fraction of those? Further, I don't remember what I wrote in the last paragraph, and often in the prior sentence as the material is coming forth. I literally forget it as fast as it comes through. The sense is that I need a blank slate in my mind to allow more to come. Also, since I know that everything is recorded electronically, there is no need to bog down my memory with it. I can always bring up the expression for any day anytime I want. I just need to remember where to go to access it. Right now, that is still easy. The organization of material at the Beyond Imagination site is relatively simple. Yes, there are a lot of pages but they are organized into a fairly small number of areas, which are easily navigable. If the endeavor grows to include the efforts of others ... we'll have to do something about this. The Musings page is a case in point. It is a page of links, separated into years. The link names are the dates of musings. In 2002, there were over 300 of these. In 2003, there are over 250 and counting. At present, this is the most active area of change at the site.

We’re starting this expression later in the day than normal for a weekend. I had to get a new computer and do everything to get it up and running, including downloading the latest version of Netscape so that I would have a web page editor. I hope the latest version is easy to use. I’ve been using Version 4.7 for so long that the jump to Version 7.1 is a big one. That’s OK, one way or another I’ll deal with it. It is good having a laptop again. It was twice the cost of an equivalent desktop, but the portability and size are key factors. I don’t have the space at home to set up a desktop machine. This allows me to work from anywhere in the house. Further, it permits me to bring my computing capability on the road when we go on trips.

So, what would we express today? That is the question every day. We express whatever spirit would have us express. This is a stream of consciousness after all. The stream seems to know where it is going even if I do not. How could that be? How could I not be in control of my faculties? It just is. I observe what manifests as reality in my life. Yes, I believe that at some level I am creating it. But, it definitely is not consciously. That is OK. My reality is exactly what it needs to be at this time. If it needed to be something different, it would be different. There is a faith that goes with living life in this manner. It requires a deep trust in consciousness. I’ve had over ten years of this expression in which to develop this trust. There was a lot of expression that came forth. And, the bulk of it was addressed to me ... though I was moved to share nearly every word. You could say that that part of my life is an open book. Hmm ... actually eight books to date and they only capture part of what was expressed. I still find it amazing that so much could come forth through me, especially given that I am one who rarely has anything to say to others. Yet here, we literally have millions of words. Though, I would venture to say that I am the only one who has read and experienced them all. Perhaps that is as it is meant to be. Perhaps this is indeed “for my eyes only”. Though, if that were really so, why would I be so moved to share what is expressed with others? But, am I moved enough to share in a more personal way? Yes, what I write is personal. But, it is relayed through words at a web site and through words in books. It seems that this is not enough. The message needs a live messenger to carry it. Is that messenger to be me? It could be, but it might not be. Am I up to doing this? Am I up to doing what it takes to be a spokesperson for Beyond Imagination? If not me, whom?

I was in a bookstore today and checked out a copy of the Sedona Journal. Sure enough, the Beyond Imagination ad was there and looked good. It should be sufficient to attract the attention of a good number of people. I don't know how many copies the magazine sells. And, I don't know how many people read through the Classified Ads section expecting to find anything of value. Oh well, that was another thing that I was moved to do. The ad will be there through the December issue. After that, we need to decide if it is worth continuing it or not. At this point, I simple don't know. The price was reasonable, however. And, we seem to be getting more traffic at the Beyond Imagination site as a result. I can't know for certain, but that is the only recent change that I can think of that could account for the increased traffic. From my perspective, the more people we get to the Beyond Imagination site, the better. But, it needs to be the right people ... in particular, people who would be moved by the expression. At this point, I do not know who such people might be. It is not important that I know right now. Those who are meant to experience what Beyond Imagination has to offer will do so, one way or another. It is just a matter of time. We need to keep putting the energy out there. We need to keep expressing as consciousness would have us express. We can do great things, especially if we choose to work together to do so. We are powerful creators, each and every one of us. But, what we can do collectively is truly phenomenal. We have to let go of some of our independence to achieve this.

I am excited by what lies ahead. The promise of things to come is grand and glorious. Actually, they are with us here and now. We are manifesting a lot of stuff in a short period of time. Though, to date this has primarily been associated with these words. But words have the power to move us to act ... and our actions have an impact on the world. When all is said and done, Beyond Imagination will have had its say ... and more importantly its impact. That, I'll see to. That is what moves me. That is what keeps me coming back to the blank page and filling it with whatever consciousness would express. I truly love doing this. This is what I am passionate about. Metaphysical expression is it for me. Serving as a vessel through which spirit can express in flesh is what I choose to do. Yes, of my own free will. I can't think of any better place to expend my time and energy.

Well, it looks like I'm back in business ... though the new laptop doesn't even have a floppy drive. So, I'm going to have to find another way to move information around from machine to machine. Where there is a will, there is a way. The three machines that I use all have CDROM capability. That's one alternative. I'm sure there are others if I think it through. My web pages are primarily text, so they don't take up much space individually. However, when you talk about over 1000 files, the size easily exceeds 10 Mbytes. Several years ago, I put everything at the Beyond Imagination site onto a zip disk and adjusted the links so that the site could be run in an offline mode directly from the zip disk. Perhaps it is time to do that again. Only this time we could put all the Beyond Imagination material on CDROMs. Unfortunately that would take substantial work. I'm not sure that I'm up to such a project at this time. Though, perhaps it is something that someone else might be able to do. Here, it would be nice if I was making enough money to hire some of these kinds of tasks out. However, funds are still restricted. Though, it seems that the abundance wagon is just around the next bend.

Writing is something that I need to be doing everyday. It is a habit for me, a beneficial one from my perspective ... though others might see it as something that isolates me from others. That is OK. People are entitled to their opinions. That doesn't alter the facts of what I experience, however. I would be whom that I am and express as I must anyway. Though, the opinions of others do matter to me personally. I encourage feedback ... I really do. In particular, I would like to know if you are moved by this expression and how you are moved by it.

Another day. I'm writing this from my new laptop once again. I think I'm going to like it. Isn't the march of technology wonderful? It's amazing how much capability can be purchased so affordably. Electronics and in particular computers have come a long way in the past two to three decades. Actually, they come a long way every few years. It is too bad our consciousness technology does not follow suit and evolve in the same manner. Oh well, we'll just have to live with what we can get ... or better yet with what we can do. And, we can do a lot. We can do far more now than we could even a few years ago. Our numbers are growing, that is the numbers of us that believe that we have an active role in creating the reality that we experience. At some point we will reach a critical mass and this will become a predominant worldview. Patience, one step at a time. That is the trick to getting to any destination ... take it one step at a time and enjoy the journey along the way. This is a matter of choice, it is something that we can always do. Though it seems that many of us do not do this. We do not appreciate the incredible beauty and majesty around us. There is so much that is grand and glorious. This very body that we inhabit is a miracle in progress. Its complexity far surpasses anything we can even dream to create. The only way that we know how to make them is to grow them. This is a long and tedious process, requiring extensive time and effort to do it right. And, even then, we don't know what we produced until we see its works. Yes, by their works shall thou know them is a great truth. If it doesn't make it to the works, it just doesn't count. We can dream of some wonderful things ... but unless we create works that convey these to others, it is all for naught. Actually that is not quite correct. Consciousness herself is a witness to all that we do and all that we think. If a thought can get through once, it is highly likely that it can get through again via another person. It seems that no thought makes it through until there is fertile ground for it. However, that does not mean it will be planted there. The planting is up to us. Some thoughts stew in our consciousness for a long time before we take action to attempt to manifest them. That is OK. Things happen when the time is right. Thoughts incite action when such action is necessary. Someone said nothing can stop an idea whose time has come. They were correct. Indeed, ideas can be that powerful. No, not all ideas are. Some are clearly more powerful than others.

So, what would we do today? Obviously, we are here expressing. But, what else would we do? At this point I do not know. It seems that there is only so much that I can do. However, it also seems that I am letting my understanding of my nature limit how I am able to express. Our natures are much more fluid and flexible than this. They are not meant to restrict our expression, rather to enhance and facilitate it. Interesting. So, how am I limiting myself? It seems that I am doing this needlessly. I could be free, if only I would allow myself to be. That requires communicating with people differently than I have. Am I up to the change and the challenge? It seems that I wouldn't be observing these things and asking these questions if I wasn't ready to implement the answers. That does not mean it will be easy. In fact, it will indeed be a challenge, and a major one at that. However, this is what it takes to be all that I can be. And, that is one thing that I have vowed to be in this existence. Whatever it takes, that is what I need to do. That is whatever it takes without doing harm to others or myself. This last restriction is an important one. It is what allows us to act ethically ... and ensure that we do far more good than harm. We have many things that we can do at any given moment. How do we choose to do one thing versus another? We choose based on what we are moved to do from deep inside of us. There is a part of us that is connected to source, to spirit. This part knows what we should be doing at any given time. It doesn't force us to do these things however. It gently prods and makes its intent known if we'll but listen. But, it will not decide for us and it will not do for us what we are perfectly able to do for ourselves.

It is for us to decide what we will do with our lives. It is for us to make it the masterpiece that it can be. It is for us to make whatever life statements that we choose to make. The bottom line is to find a way to make the world a better place for our having lived. We can always do this. Some make a difference in the lives of their family and friends. This is perfectly fine. Others make a difference by moving others. The artists among us fall in this category. Some make a difference by moving the state of our knowledge. In technology, this can yield products and inventions that change our world. Still others make their difference by moving us spiritually. In the end, it is for each of us to find our place in the world, and make the difference that is appropriate for that place. Whatever it is, is right for us. Not everyone is destined to change the consensus world. But, all of us are meant to make a difference in our private worlds.

So, if I could live my life differently ... what would I choose to do? I would have more friendships and relationships. I would speak out more and express my feelings more. But, what is preventing you from doing this? It seems that so long as I consider myself to be a hermit, I will experience a reality of isolation from others. Is this what I really want? It allows me to do things that I could not otherwise do. This very expression is enabled by having the time to express on a regular basis. It seems that friendships and relationships would tap into this time. Though, the experiences might yield expression that was all the richer. How important is this to me? Is it important enough to change how I view myself to be? This seems so fundamental to my character. I've treated it as a positive feature for so long. It is difficult to consider that it might be limiting me in some way. There is also the possibility that this is what and how I am to express. One path would have me lead a relatively solitary existence for all of my days. But is that really the path that I would choose? If we base things on past choices ... that will indeed be my future. However, we can always make new choices. We aren't constrained to what we have done in the past unless we choose to be so. My sense is that I'm starting to choose otherwise, though the change is happening slowly. That too is OK. Small changes in the nearterm can create great differences in time. It is important to be flexible and to do things differently. When we continue to do the same things in the same way, we get the same results. That is OK if we are happy and leading the life we would choose to live. However, if we are not, the only way it will change is if we do what it takes to change it.

There are many things about my life that are working. My overall productivity is excellent, both at work and in this expression. I am starting to manifest material abundance though it wouldn't hurt for this to take a leap up. I've generated several million words over the course of the past decade and have been at a 500,000 words per year pace for the past two years. What is missing is the means for these words to touch others. Oh, they reach a few people ... but this is still relatively sparse, far less than the number whom this work could positively impact. It's not like people can't see what they are getting. Most of the material is openly available on the WWW. All that we ask is the people not take more than they give. In particular, that they give of themselves in service to others value equivalent to what they get from here. That is one of the tricks to life ... to get more you must give more. It is giving that primes the abundance pump. In Eastern philosophy they know this. However, in the West, we tend to think of the supply being limited and that we need to compete to take our share or others may take it. This is a very different worldview. It is for us to adopt the best of what works from wherever we can find it. Giving more than you take creates a surplus. The more that we do this, the bigger the surplus. Then it is a matter of distribution to ensure that people get what they need. Simple economics, if we don't ensure that people get what they need, there is unnecessary lack and suffering. Why would we choose to create that? Yet, how many people exist under poverty conditions? Yes, there is a belief that God helps those we help themselves. But to what degree does this apply individually versus collectively? We have enough stuff, enough goods and services, that no one should have to go without. But, we don't have the resolve to manifest this in our reality. We don't collectively take responsibility for all of us very well. If we did, we would see no one go hungry, or without shelter, or without a job, or without health care and other basic services. We've spoken of this before many times. But, what does it take for the collective to take action? It does not seem fair for those who choose to volunteer and to give to charities to carry the burden for all of us. This is a collective responsibility that we all need to bear. Social programs only go so far. They are a place to start, but the bureaucracies it takes to administer them and the cycle of poverty that is perpetuated are evidence that the system is not working. We are not getting the intended results for the resource expended.

How can I speak of things of which I have little direct experience in this existence? How could one who has been nearly the opposite of social speak of social systems and social responsibility? What can I say? It just flows out like this. There is a sense that I have been involved in such things before and that I know things from those prior existences. No, I cannot prove this. I just don't know how else to explain the source for expertise not obtained during this lifetime. I know what I have read. I know how I've been trained in this existence. These things were not part of that. This is not the first time this has happened, and I'm sure that it will not be the last. It seems that what we have learned previously is called forth when it is needed in our lives. Our lives build one upon the next to allow us to take on new roles and new challenges ever moving up the scale of awareness. In the end, it is the level of awareness that we have reached that matters. This is what we get to keep from one incarnation to the next, though it seems that there is an inheritance that goes along with this. We don't just enter with our prior level of awareness. That would make it too confusing to endure the slow growth of the body and the mind. At some point in our life, we awaken to whom that we are. Actually, many seem to go through life without ever doing this. Perhaps that is because their level of awareness is already in line with what they are manifesting. My own case is an extreme. I know that. I came into my inheritance with the spiritual awakening experience in 1993. That was over a decade ago and my life has not been the same since. I consider myself aware. However, my limited interactions with others do not allow me to know how my experience compares to theirs. That is OK. Such comparisons are not necessary anyway. Each of us is what we are. We are each growing into what we can become and what we are meant to be. Collectively we are growing into a body for Cosmic Consciousness to inhabit. The organizations that we create are the organs and limbs of that body.

Another day ... another musing. So it continues. It seems that so long as I will allow her to speak through me, consciousness will have something to say. This has become a habit. Yet, I am still aware of the magic and mystery of it all. It still blows me away that all of this could be expressed through me. But, after ten years, I have become accustomed to it ... so much so that my days are not the same when I don't have the time or opportunity to express. Fortunately that is relatively infrequently. We're averaging one missed day out of every ten days. That makes for a lot of musings. But, is all of this worth it? Is it worth the time that I spend on it? It is worth it to me. It makes a big difference in my life. However, is it worth it to others? Does it serve others in some way? I would life my life in a manner that makes a difference. I've known that I have a special role to play for many years. And, it seems I am up to playing that role. I accept what spirit has in store for my life. It is not necessary for me to live as I prefer. What matters is what spirit would have me do. This I listen for within. There is a source inside to whom I connect. It is via this inner source that much of this communication manifests. Yes, manifests ... is brought into being physically.

October marches on. We are nearly one week into it already. Yet, we have a lot of expression to show for that week. Further, we are highly motivated to continue expressing on multiple fronts concurrently. At present, we have these musings, Beyond Mind, and Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers all in progress. The later two should be ready to send to the publisher by Thanksgiving. Yes, that is only eight weeks away. Finishing and proofing two books in that time will be a challenge. But, it is a challenge that I am up for and readily accept. There is still a sense that something is missing. There is something that I could be doing to facilitate things that I am not yet doing. I have asked what this might be, but so far consciousness has been silent on this. That is OK. When it is time to act, I will be moved to do so ... there will be no doubt as to what is right under the circumstances. That is how I live my life these days, one day at a time. In the evenings and on weekends it is one moment after another. I do not plan things for the most part. I allow myself to do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. Thus far this has assured that those things that need to get done do get done ... at least, as far as I know. Then again, how much do I really know in this matter? My experience is that I am more aware than most. But, what good does this increased awareness do? It allows me to express in the manner that I do here. Whether that is good or not is for you to determine, not me. What does this expression do to your life? How does it impact you? Does it allow you to experience more of whom that you are? This more than anything else is its purpose ... to effect a change in consciousness to those who encounter it.

In the end, it is consciousness that matters. Yet, much of what states of consciousness we reach is demonstrated by what we do and how we do it. Consciousness is as consciousness does. The goal is to become ever more aware and to express this increased awareness in all that we do. This is how we live as the expression of spirit in flesh. This is how we stay true to whom that we are. With the appropriate awareness we can achieve all things because it is ultimately spirit doing the work through us. Of our own, what we can do is limited. But, spirit has no such limitations. Her limits come from how freely we allow her to express through us to do her works. I would live a life of spirit. But, this doesn't happen automatically. It requires discipline and dedication. We have to want it. We have to choose it for ourselves. Spirit won't force her way into our lives. It is up to us to invite her to become an active force in our life. That is a choice that only we can make ... and we must make for ourselves. Yet, it is a choice that makes all the difference in the world in our lives. So, by all means, do make it.

What would we do next? My life does not appear to be moving me in a direction to meet more people. Further, it does not seem to be moving in a direction to free me from my present work environment. I'm still moved to express. But, I know that there is something more that I could be doing ... that I should be doing ... that I would be doing if only I knew what it was. My life is unlike that of others. I still find it strange that one who is so isolated and silent would express and share in this manner. Yet, it seems like the right thing to do. The sense is that I am carrying out my destiny somehow. I am meant to write, especially in this manner. There is something about the freedom of stream of consciousness expression that makes this special. I don't know how others write. For me, it is a matter of recording the voice that I hear in my head. No, it is not an external voice. It is an inner voice that I am able to hear with my mind nonetheless. That it can express as it does here is still amazing to me after all these years. Then again, a decade is not so long.

I would live as I believe. I would have my actions be congruent with what I say and what I believe. It has not always been thus. For many years I lived in my head and thought about many things without really taking actions. That is no longer enough. It hasn't been for some time. I must do as I am moved to do. This includes doing what it takes to build the foundations for a new world. This requires interacting with others to make it so ... it being whatever we desire to manifest. In this case, we are talking on a world level. What do we need to see from society, from government, from the economy, and from the educational system as places to start? These are major social systems or functions of social systems. It is time for us to do what it takes to make them the best that they can be. We can do this now. The time is ripe for change. We truly live during a wonderful time in the history or the world and the planet. It will be interesting to see what challenges we attract into our reality and how we deal with those challenges.

It was difficult to stay focused at work today. I truly desire to make this expression my full time occupation. However, in exchange for giving it all that I AM, I want to see abundance manifest in my life. That suggests a conditional arrangement. However, I am already doing the work on a half time basis. It only seems fair to expect consciousness to live up to its side of the bargain. The reward for doing what we love to do is unlimited abundance, all that we need will be made available to us. But, we must do the work first.

It is difficult keeping things straight working from multiple computers. I guess I'll just have to get used to it. One of the difficulties is in using technology from different eras. Things work on one machine but not on another. Software is almost compatible but not quite. I'm glad someone besides me is working out all of the details. There is no way that I could ever keep it all straight. Being a user of the technology is enough. This very expression is being generated as a split file because I had a floppy and a zip drive/disk fail on the same day. Fortunately, I don't experience such problems very often. Otherwise, I'm not sure what I would do. I rely on computers as the means for capturing this expression and for sharing it. It wouldn't be the same if the internet were not so readily available.

If I could be whatever I wanted to be ... what would I be? That is an interesting question. I would definitely be a writer, but I am already that. I would have some friends, in particular close friends with whom I could be myself. At this time, it seems spirit serves as that for me. That, and my Self. I would not be so much a loner ... though I can still see needing my private time. It seems what is needed is a sense of balance. I have a tendency to do things to extremes. That leads to a very interesting experience of reality. I would be more outgoing ... though, that is a sort of half-hearted desire. I'm not sure that I really believe that such is how I would like to live. That is a problem. Mixed emotions are the main reason that this area in my reality is still unsettled. I haven't decided what I really want. There is a fear of losing what I have. Yet, at the same time there is a knowingness that I must make the leap to arrive at something better. And the potential is there for it to be far better. Be grateful for what you have. Unless we are appreciative of all that we have been given, there is no room to receive more in our life.

I don't remember ever thinking about what I would do when I grew up as a kid. I had no real dreams. I didn't spend much time with other kids. I was extremely shy and kept to myself. Little has changed. I'm still quite shy and keep to myself. I still spend the bulk of my time alone. Only now, I do so out of choice. However, am I in the midst of changing this? I would like to think that I am. But, thinking about it is not enough. It is time to do something. If this is truly what I want, I need to make my intentions known and go about the business of creating what I desire.

The musing is going slow tonight. I took a couple of hours to install software, move files between machines, and explore lodging options for our upcoming trip to Southern Utah. It's still four weeks away, but at the rate time is moving, that will be here before we know it. It has been awhile since my last vacation. I'm looking forward to visiting Bryce Canyon again. The last time I was there was just after I met my wife to be, over 16 years ago. I used to visit the National Parks often, sometimes several times in a year. Since that trip 16 years ago, I've only visited Yosemite a couple of times. I haven't gone to any other National Parks. I hadn't really thought about it ... but I do miss it. There is something wonderful about these parks, something precious and special. They are indeed the best that nature has to offer. And, she has done some incredible handiwork. Why don't I see people in the same light? People are incredible creations that have the ability to do even more incredible things. Why am I not as fascinated by them as I am by nature? Why is my focus so individual and self-centered? For one thing, it needs to be for me to explore and experience consciousness in the way that I have. But, is that an excuse ... a rationalization for accepting things as they have been? I don't need to do that. Regardless of why I experienced what I experienced, I can choose a different path here and now. I'm not stuck with the ways of the past. I can make the future what I choose for it to be by making different decisions now. This is true for all of us. Reality creation is an art. It is a process that we go through to manifest the things that we experience. We are all good at it. Though, most of this is still done at other than conscious levels. That doesn't mean it has to be, it just has been to date.

Once again we start with a blank slate and see where consciousness would take us. In a very real way, it is as if we are on a ride ... the ride of our life. Consciousness takes us into new realms where we are able to explore aspects of ourselves and of the world that we never knew. It is an amazing process. Clearly, I have assessed it to be worthy of my time and effort. This expression captivates me ... but it also enlivens me. It is in doing this that I truly get to live, to be whom that I AM. There is something special about this stream of consciousness expression. It is distinguished from everything else that I do. This is the one thing that I know will ultimately have value ... though, even then, I know not how much value. That depends on how many the expression reaches and how they are impacted by what is said. I wouldn't presume to know what that will be. That seems like it is in spirits realm to determine not mine. All that I can do is make the expression as clear as possible. I do that for the most part by getting out of the way and allowing spirit to do as she will. Is that a viable way of living one's life. For me, it clearly is. I suspect this would be true for others as well. I do what I am moved by spirit to do. I do that willingly, without any mental reservations. Some might see this as wasting my life. I see it as apply my life in service to something greater than me. These are quite different perspectives. However, in life, what counts is our perspective ... not that of another. Though, at times it is useful to take in feedback from others. It is also helpful for us to give feedback to the world in which we live. That may involve feedback to others or feedback on things that we like or dislike happening in the world. Unless we notice and provide appropriate feedback, how can we expect circumstances to improve? The bottom line is that we can't. Things will get better when we band together and do the things necessary to make them better. That is how reality creation works. It is up to us to do what is necessary to manifest what we want to experience.

I am struggling with staying focused and staying awake at work. On the one hand, I don't really want to be here ... I want to be free to do the work that Beyond Imagination is meant to do. However, on the other hand, there is the reality of needing a sufficient income to pay the bills and live comfortably. For that, we have entered into a contract to provide hours of services in exchange for a weekly salary. It is important to do sufficient work each day to justify that salary. I owe that to my employer so long as our contract is in effect. But, spirit herself is also my employer. What do I owe to her? She is responsible for bringing forth millions of words into manifestation through this vehicle in just over ten years. What is that worth? How do I repay her for all of this? I have lived a very sheltered existence overall. The spiritual and the metaphysical have consumed me for 30 of my 45 years, basically all of my adult life. What do I have to show for it? I have the words that are in this expression; the words that I have been moved to express, capture, and share. But, what is that worth? It depends on who the words reach and how they are touched and moved by them. The words have the potential to help awaken others. In doing so, much good can be unleashed do to the nature of the works that these awakened souls will do. From everything that I have seen, increased awareness leaves clear benefits in its path. The more aware, the more good that is done. It is that simple. But, how do we know if we are becoming more aware? In my experience, there is an inner recognition that something wonderful has changed, that we are no longer what we formerly thought ourselves to be. We are more, much more ... we are spirit manifest.

The expression to date has already been the equivalent of a lifetime's expression for most. But, I am just getting started. There is so much to do and so little time to do it that we can't waste it by sitting back and doing nothing. Yet that is precisely what I was moved to do for several hours earlier today. We are all riding on one big spaceship ... that beautiful jewel that we call earth. My sense is that few realize this. And further, fewer still do something with this realization. That doesn't mean that we can't change this. It just means that there is some strong inertia to overcome.

Yesterday was a light day for musings. I went to lunch and all I wanted to do is sleep when I got home. I did move some more files to my new machine and install FTP software so that I can do my uploads of files from home. But, that is about all I did. Some days are like that. I just don't feel like doing anything except to veg out or rest. That's not a problem so long as it is the exception rather than the rule. So far, that is indeed the case as the musings can attest. This stream of consciousness needs no rest. It continues to pour forth at every opportunity given to it. It cannot express without our cooperation however. We have to choose to give it voice. For me, that is an easy choice. I'm a writer after all. Using my skills to serve consciousness seems to be the most natural and most beneficial application of these skills. Besides, I am blown away by what is created. This expression knocks my socks off. I cannot imagine not participating in it. My life would clearly not be the same. Every day is a gift from consciousness. It is for us to find a way to use this gift in a manner that serves others in our world. For introverts, this can be a challenge. Though, many things that we do have effects in the outer as well.

How do we live in a manner that our life positively impacts all of those whom we touch? That is indeed the goal for living right. We are meant to make a difference in our world. We have the power to do that. It is a matter of applying ourselves in a way that makes optimal use of our talents. Spirit expects from us our very best. But, we cannot deliver that unless we expect it of us as well. We need to demand our very best. However, we need to be careful to not overdo it. Good enough is good enough. There is a point of diminishing returns ... a point where the effort to improve the result is not worth the added value generated. It is important that we detect these points so that we can apply any remaining effort of things of real value. Note: this does not mean we have to work every minute of every day. We need time to rest and recreate ourselves. However, it is important that we do those things that are ours to do in a timely manner. How do we know what these are? And, what constitutes "timely". The bottom line is that we will know. All that is needed is to tap the source within.

Beyond Imagination Quotes was officially published today. That makes six. The Search for Center shouldn't be more than a week or so behind it. That will make seven. 2003 Musing - Vol II was sent to the publisher of September 12. Next week will make it a month already. It seems like it was yesterday. Where does the time go. I'm concurrently working on three additional projects for release early in 2004. There is a lot of work remaining ... but I think that I am up to doing it.

Staying focused at work is becoming more and more difficult. I don't really want to be here ... but I don't see any opportunities opening up that would allow me to move to a different position. What I would like is to be able to work fulltime in the employ of spirit. What makes me think that I am not in that position already? Is there something about my present work that I'm missing? While I'm doing it, I need to find a way to make it captivating. It needs to be interesting and challenging. That's not much to ask of a job. That is the minimum that makes it acceptable. It would also help if it was clear that the work truly made a difference somehow. Perhaps it does, but I'm just not seeing it. That leads to some frustration and a desire for something better. It will be interesting to see what manifests out of this. Something has to give. I have to have work that is challenging and fulfilling. I demand it. This expression falls into that category ... but that is no longer enough. It is not clear that I can separate my work life from my spiritual life. Selling 40 hours per week to make a living does not seem right somehow. Though, I would gladly put in 60 hours per week towards spiritual work in exchange for abundance. I'm effectively willing to give my life to the expression of spirit. How do I get her to employ me in this manner? This expression is easy. It is automatic. It just flows forth. I don't have to plan it or work at it ... I just do it. Sometimes my work is like that as well, but all too often the tiredness and boredom set in. I can't help feeling that I would rather be somewhere else doing other things. But, the feeling is not strong enough to act on yet. And, I don't know what action I could take anyway. I am good at the things that I do. Moving to a different job would require learning new things. Perhaps that is what the doctor ordered. Perhaps it is time to move on to bigger and better things, or at least different things. Yet, what would I do? My expertise is somewhat limited having worked a long time on the same program. It seems wasteful to lose the advantage of that expertise. Yet, my system knowledge is fairly high level ... it does not go very deep. That is partially due to the systems engineering focus. There must be a way to apply what I have learned to my spiritual work. I know that no resources are wasted. We learn the things that we need to learn to carry out our missions in accord with our destiny.

What would I do next? Where would I go? What changes would I make in my life? How do I find the others with whom I am meant to work? This last questions presumes that there are others. I firmly believe this to be the case. I also believe that when we will meet is somehow destined. It will happen when it needs to happen. I can attempt to do things to accelerate this, but most of them will be for naught. Spirit has a timing for things that is beyond our comprehension. It is best to allow things to unfold naturally. What about creating our own reality? Yes, we can do that. But, when we do we are responsible for what gets created. When we allow what spirit would create in our life, we are still responsible but we have the force of spirit behind what we are experiencing. That makes all of the difference in the world. But, isn't that fatalistic? Indeed it is ... but what is wrong with having a fate, with having a destiny? The bottom line is nothing. In some ways our destiny is bigger than us. It is what we came to this planet and this incarnation to do. It is who we came to be. Right now, this expression is what I came to do. But, there is a sense that it is to grow into something more. The very way that I live my life is to evolve into something greater and grander. At this point, I don't know what that will be. However, I am excited by the prospects that lie ahead. It is as if my life is about to take off in a whole new direction. I'm ready for this. And, it's about time. However, it cannot be rushed.

I'm open to whatever changes would come into my life. I'm open to being and expressing more of whom that I am. As usual, I'll do that one step at a time ... doing what I am moved to do in each moment. That is the only way I know to live my life. Planning doesn't seem to work for me. Then again, I haven't really tried it for awhile. Perhaps things have changed and this is a tool that would work now. I already know that spirit has a hand in this expression. She would also have a hand in any plans that I would develop. When we resign ourselves actively to our destiny, the universe meets us and supplies to us all that is needed to carry out our mission. We only have to believe that this is so ... and then follow through and take the necessary action in line with this. Can it be that simple? Indeed, it can.

Is all of this wishful thinking? Is my dissatisfaction with what is coming forth? Is the happiness that is missing showing? Yes, I admit, my life could be better. And, I desire to make it so. But, am I willing to do what it takes to change it into something better? I believe that I am. But, the proof comes in what I would do. What would I change and when? How would I express differently? How would I develop the relationships that are so sorely lacking? This seems to be the major area in need of change. If I can fix the relationships ... it seems everything else will fall into place naturally. But it takes at least two to work on relationships. The desire to relate has to be there. The connection that forms a basis for the relationship has to be there. For 45 years, I haven't been very good at connecting with people. Is that to change? Or, is there a reason for it? We need to be careful not to turn that into an excuse. So, where do I find the others that I am to related to? Are they searching for me as I am searching for them? Are we destined to meet when the time is right? At this point, I don't get out a lot. The only places for me to meet people are at work and via the internet. I've taken the first step with all that I've been moved to share. But, is that enough? It is a lot. But, it seems that there is more that I can do. I haven't really risked anything yet. I've invested a lot of my time and resources, but that is not the same as risking something. How do I put what I believe on the line? How do I bet on myself in the game of life?

It seems that I have not really been living. Oh, I have been existing and getting by. And, I have been expressing nearly endlessly. But, have I really been living? The sense is that if I had, I would have experienced far more happiness in my life. That is OK, it is never too late to start. So, what can I do that would make me happy? It seems that happiness is a state of consciousness that one chooses. But, is it not also something that one pursues? Did not our founding fathers call the pursuit of happiness one of our inalienable rights? It is interesting that they did not say achieving happiness was a right, only the pursuit thereof. How does one pursue something that can be so illusive? It seems that we need to be methodological in our pursuit. Either that, or we need to follow the path that spirit reveals to us. That is still my preference, to allow spirit to call the shots and take me to where she will. At some point, that may change. Perhaps even soon. But, until it does, I will continue to do as I am moved to do. Right now, that means expressing here in this manner and sharing the expression with any who find it. I trust that this is what I am meant to do. It feels right. This growing body of works is a testament to consciousness expressing through me.

Again we start with the familiar blank slate. But, it is on that slate that we have the freedom to express whatever consciousness would express through us. I'm still amazed at the frequency and quantity of expression. This is the 22nd month in a row of near daily expression. I have nothing to compare that to in over 10 years of doing this. Further, there is no sense that it will end soon. Though, in December 2001, I had no idea that it was about to start either. The bottom line is to capture what can be expressed while the capturing is good. We can worry about further processing the material when we have the free time to do so. Right now, the raw musings are sufficient. They capture a stream of consciousness that reveals a process of growth and increasing awareness. These are the footsteps or mindsteps that I leave for those who choose to follow my path. Clearly, it is a path ... it is not the path. Follow it so long as it interests you and so long as you are able to grow from the experience. You will know if you are growing. It will be obvious. There are some things that are hidden from us. But, most of the important things are right in front of us where they can readily be seen or be felt. Don't underestimate the importance of feeling and of direct knowing. There will be things that you just know even though there is no logical explanation as to how. Try to go with that knowingness when you can. It will definitely make your life flow more smoothly.

Why is it that we write each day? For one thing, I am a writer ... and one becomes better at one's craft through doing it as much as you can. Also, there is a stream of consciousness that seeks to be expressed, and I am a channel for that expression. Yes, I'm an active channel, but I am a channel nonetheless. Even after a decade, I still experience this expression as coming from an inner source that is not a part of me. This source is my intuitive connection to consciousness, to spirit herself. Yes, herself. I still experience this source as being feminine. I don't know why, that is just how she comes across. The connection is magical. What comes forth from consciousness is amazing to behold. The expression constantly challenges what I know myself to be and what I believe about reality and reality creation. This is a major part of my reality. It is by far the greatest consumer of my free time. However, I would have it no other way. This expression is that important to me. It is as important as the air that I breathe. It is the fire that my spirit consumes in order to exist as it does. Spirit is express as the fire signs in astrology. I happen to be a triple fire - Sun, Moon, and Rising signs. So, spirit is it for me. Not much else commands my attention.

That is OK. Each of us have our parts and roles to play. Each will present its challenges and its rewards. It is for us to seek and find those things that we are meant to do. This is well within our ability to do. Further, the very universe is conspiring to ensure that we succeed in this. However, the universe responds to the actions that we take. If we are silent, if we do nothing, the universe matches our efforts in kind. The key is to actively pursue our dreams of who we can be and what we can do. Appreciate, but never be satisfied with what is. There are always things that can be done to make it better. Don't just think about what might be ... do something that helps to make it so. What, you ask? Whatever you are moved to do. There is something within you that knows what part you are meant to play and it will naturally guide you there if you allow it to. That means getting in touch with this inner source within you. However, to do that you have to believe. But, that is what beliefs are for. They are meant to help isolate what we want in our lives from what we do not want. This is not always an easy decision to make. As a result our experiences are more challenging then necessary. But, at least this keeps them interesting. It is better that they be interesting than that they be boring. Life is meant to be an exciting adventure. But, it is only such if we expect it to be and we do what it takes to make it so. Many don't have the follow through to do whatever it takes. However, that is what distinguishes those who succeed in manifesting what they desire from those who don't. It is our actions that determine what we get in life. It is for us to make those actions count for something. The greatest things that we can do are those things that serve not only ourselves but serve others. It is service that matters. The more service the better. The universe ensures that no service goes unrecognized or unrewarded.

How do we build cooperative interdependent organizations? How do we get people to work together toward a common aim? Can we come up with a vision that people can rally behind and be willing to commit to? We are asking for a voluntary commitment of time and energy ... and potentially resources. It seems that we need to deliver something in return. But, we can't tell exactly what we will deliver until we see what we are able to create. So, there is a risk. We might not succeed in our efforts the first time ... or even the nth time. But if we persist, nothing can stop us. Success is guaranteed, for spirit herself is working through us and she knows no failure ... not in the long run anyway. Cooperation requires at least two working together. Actually that is not quite correct. This very expression is the result of me cooperating with spirit. We co-operate, spirit and I ... we operate together to allow this stream of consciousness to flow as it does.

What would I do differently? What would I change to further disseminate this material to the world? It seems that it is not enough to post the material. That reaches some but nowhere near the numbers that I believe we are meant to touch. So, what other avenues are available to spread the word ... or in this case the millions of words? Do I really expect people to be interested in reading all of this? Yes, I am interested because the material came through me and has special significance. But, can I expect others to read the material as well? The sense is a resounding yes. I wouldn't have been moved to publish so much of it if I didn't believe there was an audience that could be served by what is expressed. It is not for me to know how these people will be served. I can't tell what passages will trigger altered states of consciousness and changes in levels of awareness. But, I know that the material as a whole has the power to do this. That makes it worth something. That makes it worth every minute and every dime that I have invested in it. Return on investment is in vogue these days. In this case, there hasn't yet been a direct return on investment. Though I have experienced states of awareness that are priceless. I am happy with what I have experienced and expressed to date. And, I look forward to what will come in the years ahead. Each year keeps getting better than the past ones. It will be interesting to see how long the roller coaster ride lasts. There is a thrill in being able to express like this. Here is where I dance on the edge of the unknown realms of consciousness. My bipolar condition helps in this regard. It makes it OK to experience excursions of mental states that others don't seem to experience. Yes, this makes me a little bit crazy. But, if this communication is an example of what can come from being crazy, then perhaps more of us should give ourselves permission to be a little crazy. We need to be careful here. There is a fine balance that we are keeping. Too far off the deep end and we drive ourselves to the mental hospital. I know firsthand. I've been there twice ... initially when I was diagnosed as bipolar, and five years later after months of stopping taking my medications. That last episode was over five years ago. Since then, I've taken my meds daily. The current regimen is Eskalith, Depakote, and Zyprexa. Whether these are all required and whether I need the present dosages ... I have no way of knowing. What I know is that I am currently able to function in society and express here ... and that the side effects seem tolerable. That doesn't mean that I am completely happy with my reality. However, I know that it is within my power to change the things that I don't particularly like. I can create my reality to be what I would have it be. Unfortunately, I don't have a clear picture of what I really want and I have this intense aversion to forcing my desires on anyone. Yes, this limits what I can change. Perhaps it is too strict of a limitation to impose on myself. However, I take the directive "Thy will not mine be done" very seriously. I would do as spirit directs, not necessarily what I might want. Though, lately these tend to be the same thing.

Everything comes down to actions. What are we willing to do to effect change in our lives and in the world? It is not enough to think something. Though thoughts do have their value and are powerful. We must take action in accord with what we believe to effect the change that we desire to see. It also helps to be the change that we desire and demonstrate firsthand the results of this change. A living example goes a long way. It serves as a pattern that others can follow. We need our wayshowers in the world. They allow us to see what we can be and what we can create. It doesn't have to be difficult. This is a very natural process. The universe is conspiring to enable us to be all that we can be. We simply need to open up and allow it to manifest. That means getting rid of beliefs about ourselves, reality, and the world that are getting in the way and do not serve us. But, good riddance ... it is time for these to go anyway. What are we holding onto? A limited version/vision of ourself does not serve us or our world. We can change this. It is all a matter of presence of mind ... or presence of spirit. Consciousness is the key. Where we allow our consciousness to take us ultimately determines what reality we will experience. Consciousness is everything. Consciousness spawns all expression. She is the source of what you see here. But she is also the source of what you experience hour by hour and day by day. Many are still asleep, however. Though, that probably doesn't apply if you are reading this. My sense is that consciousness attracted you here because there is something that you can get from this expression. You are one of those who can be served by this stream of consciousness. I don't know exactly how or why. I only know that we bring into our life those experiences that we need to learn and to grow so that we can express more of whom that we are. I know this is how it works for me. And, I know enough to know that what works for me is likely to work for others as well. No, it won't work for everyone. But, variations should work for most of those drawn to this expression. You are part of a self-selected group. What difference this expression makes in your life is up to you to determine.

What would we express today? We never really know in advance. The expression just comes forth. We allow it to be whatever it would be ... trusting that spirit knows what is right and would not lead us astray. Today marks the ten year anniversary of the conclusion of my first vacation to the mental hospital. It was a ten day vacation that concluded a period of nearly six weeks of fire on the brain. Actually, even with the medications I was still flying quite high in the following months as years, so much so that additional medications were added from time to time. I don't know that I've ever been normal. And, it is clear that I never will be such. But that doesn't really matter. I've taken pride in being different. I wear it as a badge of distinction. This is not your average communication that you see here. It is a stream of consciousness expression. That is not something that we are used to seeing. Many would fear that they would simply babble on. And, perhaps that is exactly what I'm doing. Then again, I have the sense that this communication is worth something and that it can help people somehow. That is my hope and my dream anyway. Being of service to the world is extremely important to me. My life must make a meaningful difference. It must contribute to the betterment of society in some way. This is true to some degree for all of us ... but clearly for some more than others. The bottom line is to do what feels right for you. You will know what this is. It will call to your soul. And, when you are doing it, it will animate you as nothing else does.

10/10 ... that links to Reality Creation 1010. And then a tenth anniversary to boot. My, we are full of 10's today. 10 is the Wheel of Fortune in the Tarot. I haven't really related much to it. Oh well. Perhaps at another time in another place. Hmm ... speaking of places, we have been here nearly 7 years. That is as long as I've ever lived anywhere. We lived in Monterey for close to 7 years just prior to this. In some ways, it seems like it is time for a change. Though, at the same time where we are at is comfortable. We have a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Oh, the house could be grander. But, it was quite a bargain for what we got. Overall, things don't matter to me a whole lot. But then, neither do individual people. Yet I dream of doing things to help society as a whole. I dream of building the foundations for a new world. How many people dream such a grand dream? And, how many people are willing to give their life to fulfill that dream? My sense is that they are few and far between. But somehow we must come together to jointly create what none of us can manifest alone. We know this. And we seek the time when we will find and join our brethren in this great cause. My hope is that will be soon. But, I have nothing tangible on which to base that. We can always hope. We can always dream. The journey to a better tomorrow starts with the step we take here and now. That these steps are individual steps is OK for the moment. Soon they will be the steps of the masses. And then, the world will change in ways beyond imagination. There is a reason that this expression falls under that umbrella. What consciousness is expressing here ... and what will result from people being exposed to this expression will indeed be beyond imagination. How can I know that? It is just obvious to me. It doesn't matter that I have yet to see this impact. Actually that is not quite correct. I've seen it in myself. I just haven't seen it in others yet. I'm not aware of who has really been exposed to this expression. There are a handful of people that have e-mailed me a few times. But overall, whatever audience this reaches is silent. Will that change some day? I would hope so. If I am to do what I came to do, I have to find a way to connect to like-minded others. Right now, I believe this to be in the cards. However, I do not yet know when. Until then, I do what I am moved to do. I do what I can on my own, though spirit guides my every step. That doesn't mean that I won't stumble and even fall on occasion. When one operates in the realms of the unknowns of consciousness such things can happen. However, we can always pick ourselves up and continue on. We learn from our stumbles and our falls and we move on to ever greater expressions of spirit.

We are spirit incarnate. It is useful to remember that and to act appropriately. There is so much that we can do. There are so many areas where improvements are needed. All it takes is resources and talent. We have the right resources with the right talents. We're just not applying them to the tasks that need to be done. Part of the problem is that as a society we don't really have control of the resources. We allow the free market to determine where people will spend the bulk of their working time. While our economy is envied by most of the world, it is clearly not the best that it can be. For one thing, there are far too many people that are not served by it. We have the hungry and the homeless, we have the untreated mentally ill. We have far too many people living below the poverty line. All of that equates to needless suffering. There has to be a better way. Part of the problem is that there is no one or no group responsible for ensuring that these things do not happen. We haven't taken it on ourselves to be responsible for one another. We haven't established a contract between the collective and individuals that explicitly spells out who is responsible for what. Until we do this, there will be such people that fall through the cracks of our economic system. Is that fair? My sense is that no, it is not fair. And, I desire to do something about it. Doing something starts with raising the awareness so that people know that there is a problem. It also helps if we have some kind of solution to propose. Mine has been expressed here many times. We establish a social contract between society as a whole and its constituent individuals.

It is that simple. Many won't like the fact that it is one of the key tenets of communism. However, it has never been achieved. If it had, we wouldn't see communist economies crumble as we have. Accepting and abiding by this contract is a quantum shift for those of us who have enjoyed the benefits that free enterprise has offered us. Taking responsibility for ourselves is a major step. Extended this to assume responsibility for others as well is a giant leap. But, it is a leap that we need to take. It demands the very best of us.

Another busy day. But not too busy to keep me from coming here to express. There is not much that can do that, as evidenced by the 90 percent musing rate for the year. Though that means I am missing one day out of every ten. That will mean approximately 330 musings for the year if this continues. At this time, we have no reason to believe that it won't. That will make this year even more productive than last. We have much to show for it. In 2002, we had one Best Passages book. For 2003, we will have three books of roughly the same size. The volume of musings were about the same. We were just moved to share them in a different way. For 2002, we selected the best of what was expressed. For 2003, we elected to publish nearly all of what was expressed. As a result, the books serve different purposes. Best Passages was meant to serve as a flagship. Because of this, we wanted it to include only our best. The 2003 Musings are meant to illustrate the quality and quantity of material that comes forth in one year. At this point I would estimate that that is going to come to 3 books of 600 pages each with 100 pages of best quotes included. That is a lot of material. But spirit is pretty prolific in expressing through me. She fills every moment that I make available to her. Spirit, consciousness, they are one and the same to me.

This is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, it is freeform. It resists any attempt to plan what will be expressed. That is OK. There is something wonderful about spontaneous spiritual expression. It gives us hope that we can be much more than we ever believed possible. That is true because when we are supported by spirit, we can do far more than we can do alone. In many ways, this is because we are not doing it ... it is spirit doing these things through us. We are engaged in the dance of consciousness. And, what an elaborate dance it is. Yet, it is one that we know innately. It is not so much something we have to learn, rather something that we have to allow happen in our lives. That doesn't mean that it will all be easy. It can be, but it can also be hard work. It is really up to us as to how we will experience it. It helps to be open, allowing and accepting. But, it seems not everyone follows such a path. I know, my particular path is unique. I have encountered others on similar paths but no one on the same path yet. Perhaps that is too much to expect. Perhaps my particular path will always be unique. Then, why am I so moved to share it? Why is all of this captured? There would be no reason to capture it if it were not to be shared somehow. Now, we share it electronically at the Beyond Imagination website and physically in the form of published books. Yet, that does not seem to be enough. It seems that we need to find a way to share ourself as well, as the living vessel through whom this expression comes. That makes me a special being. It seems that few come forth to express in this way. But, what is this expression. I don't consider myself psychic. These musings do not offer specific advice to specific people. What they do capture is a stream of consciousness. In reading this material, you get to ride the stream for awhile. My hope is that you find it to be an adventure in consciousness. It should trigger you to enter into new states of consciousness of your own. It may not do this immediately. But as you follow the stream, it is as if your mental muscles are being stretched so that you can experience and express more of whom that you are. How do I know that the material does this? I only know that it does that for me and I'm the one through whom it came to begin with. I'm curious as to how others will react to this. Until they relate what it does for them, I will not really know.

Why am I moved to share this expression in the way that I do? Why is one who effectively exists as a hermit moved to share so much of himself? My only response is because I have something important to share. Or, more correctly, consciousness has something important to share through me. What could be so important that it is worth expending this much of my life on? Then again, what else would I do with my life anyway? This expression is the one thing that I believe will remain long after I am gone. I can hope that will be the case anyway. Though it seems that I will need some sort of organization to be responsible for keeping the information alive and available to those meant to be moved by it. But, that is still in the distant future. My sense is that I have another quarter of a century to live in this incarnation. There is a lot of work that can be done in that amount of time. That's OK. I've never been one to shy away from work, especially spiritual work. I am more than willing to do my fair share, and I know that there is a graduated scale. To whom much is given, much is expected. And, I have been given a whole lot of talents and abilities. In what areas have I achieved mastership? One area is making the inner connection necessary for this expression to manifest. Then again, given how much practice I've had in the past ten years, this should not be a surprise. What else am I good at? I can see things holistically ... see how the parts fit together to form a whole and see the synergy that results. Much of this has been fortified by my systems engineering work. It allows me to train my mind to think in ways that most people don't think in. What would I do with what I know? I would share it with the world. I would apply it toward building the foundations for a new world. Big goals ... big dreams. But, everything that I know says that they are achievable. If you are going to dream, you might as well dream big. Who knows, you just may achieve what you set out to do. It is amazing how the universe works. When we declare our intentions with all of our heart and soul, an army of helpers comes to our aid.

What would we create next? Obviously, we are still musing. And, we are working on Beyond Mind and Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers. But, what else would we do? Nothing so far deals with interacting with people. Is this not the key thing missing from my life? Or, is it simply that such is not meant to be an active part of my life? That is an interesting question. Are relationships missing or are they simply not meant to be for me? My hope is that the former is true. I long to have others to interact with, to bounce ideas off of, to work together on joint endeavors, and just to be friends. I haven't had many friends to date. Actually, I would be hard pressed to identify any. But, I have a pretty stringent definition of friendship. I expect a lot, but I am willing to give a lot. That should be obvious from what is expressed here. Though, this is only an example of the kinds of things that I would expect friends to share. Do I really expect anyone to keep up with all of this? Yes, I do. Fortunately, reading the expression is a lot faster process than generating it. The generation continues to occur at the rate of about one 8.5 x 11 page per hour. I try to express three hours per day but not all of that goes into musings. At this point in time, I believe this is sufficient. Especially since it is a voluntary endeavor that I do on my own with spirits assistance. I don't know what I would do if the stream of consciousness would become silent. It is one thing for my mind to be silent. In fact, it is often silent. It has been this way since the awakenings began in 1993. It is as if my mind had to become blank for spirit to be able to come through. It is interesting that I start each day's musing with a blank page. OK, a nearly blank page, the beginning and the ending are inherited and are the same from day to day with the exception of the date. All of the content is deleted, however and I start from scratch expressing what consciousness would have me express. I trust that consciousness is organizing what is coming forth. And, from what I can tell it is not repetitive. I don't really have an explanation for how this can happen. Since I'm not consciously organizing it, it is out of my hands and my awareness. How long can this continue? How long can we go on expressing in this manner? I don't really know. It does not appear that we've come close to reaching any limits of consciousness. It seems that so long as we volunteer to come here ... she joins us and expresses. How do I know this is not me expressing? It could very well be a part of me. But, whether it is or not, I am not consciously aware of being the originator of all of this. I see it expressed through my fingers and appear on the screen of my computer, but simply because it comes through me doesn't mean that I originate it. It all depends on how you consider source. If source is indeed a part of me, then I do create this, albeit not in a manner that I am consciously aware of. However, if source is a connection to something greater than me ... then this does indeed come from something external to me. Even with ten years of expression, I do not know which of these alternatives is correct. Neither does it matter. Regardless, the expression comes forth. What matters is its utility. Who does it serve and how does it serve them? This is one question that we should ask often. For all the work we do, this question applies. If it doesn't serve anyone, then why are we doing it? If it doesn't serve anyone, we are wasting our time. In evaluating our endeavors, we need to make sure that we consider all those who are impacted. Sometimes it is not obvious who benefits from something. However, if we think about it and give our intuition voice, we will see who is served and who is not served. There is also the potential that some might be harmed by what we do. We need to tread very lightly in such areas and try to mitigate the harm as much as we can.

Life is the expression of consciousness to me. If I am not expressing, I am not truly living. However, there are many ways to express. Mine just happens to be writing. And, do I write. But what good is the written word without an audience to read it? And, where do I find such an audience. There is a sense that this is destined somehow. Those who are meant to encounter this expression will find it somehow. Yes, I need to do what I can to facilitate that. But, there is only so much that I can do. At some point, the universe needs to kick in and help. Have I reached that point? Have I done what I can do? There is still a sense that while I've done a lot, I am just getting started.

We're getting a late start tonight, so this will be a shorter than normal musing. Then again, who knows, I could get carried away and write long into the night. At this point I doubt that however. The need to arise for work in the morning demands that I get to sleep at a decent hour. But I did rest for a couple of hours earlier today. I was able to swim all three days this weekend. I typically don't go in unless the water temperature is above 85, and preferably closer to 88. The solar system is able to keep it that warm from May to October ... nearly six months. I love the water. Swimming laps is much more fun than any other exercise that I've encountered. And, it is time to start eating better and doing more exercise. That takes away from my time here. But, it may relieve some of the tiredness that I've been feeling.

What would we express tonight? As usual, I don't really know. I come here because I am moved to come here. I know that if I come, consciousness will join me and we will express something. Sometimes it is grand. Sometimes it is more ordinary. But always the expression comes forth. What makes me feel that this expression is worthy of being shared and is worthy of being published? I don't know. I just do what I am moved to do. Right now, that is to allow this stream of consciousness to come forth and to do what I can to get it in the hands of those it may be able to help. But, who can it help and how? It can help those who are in the midst of expanding their consciousness. It does this by providing an example of consciousness in expression. Will this example be the same as how you might express? Probably not. However, it should trigger you to enter altered states of your own. That is my hope anyway. That is what makes it worthwhile. Knowing that all of this has come forth through me gives me a great sense of accomplishment. We need to live our lives in such a manner that if we were to depart on any given day, there would be a sense of completeness about our life to that point. With this expression I have that. I have something tangible that is proof that I existed, created something, and hopefully contributed to society and the world. That does not mean I am planning to depart anytime soon. My latest estimate is that I'll be around through 2024-2028 or so. That is so far in the distance that it means little at this point other than the fact that I have roughly 2.5 times the length of the current expression to finish out my life. If I continue to express as I have, that should easily put me past the 10 million word mark. That is a lot to express in a lifetime. Do we need that much volume? Or, should we step back and focus on quality of expression. Actually, I believe both are there in our current works.

Consciousness is illusive. She comes and goes as she will. She will not be bound or restricted. At least, such is how she expresses in my life. I don't interact with others enough to know whether their experience is similar or not. Nor does it really matter. Each of us experience exactly what we need to experience. Sometimes this is like what others experience. But, it is perfectly OK if it is not. We are allowed our unique experiences. It would be very boring if we were all the same. Life is about varieties of experience. Human life is primarily differentiated by consciousness. We are aware of being alive. Some of us are aware of being aware ... though this seems to take an awakening. Not everyone experiences being the observer in their life. That is one of the benefits of this expression. The challenge for the reader is to realize who could have expressed all of this? What does it say about the nature of consciousness that all of this was expressed in the manner that it was? What does it say about me that I was moved to allow all of this to come forth? The expression exists. There is no denying that. You may have your own theories about how it originated. I've told you mine. It comes from a source inside of me. I type whatever it says in my head. I don't hear a voice per se. But the words just appear in my mind. How is this possible? That is a mystery. And, perhaps it will always be a mystery. There is nothing wrong with that. Life itself is a mystery ... it is meant to have mysteries. That is part of its attraction. We live in a miraculous realm, we truly do. It is important for us to see that ... really see that. Otherwise, we miss out on some of the most special moments and experiences in life.

This expression is by far the most important part of my life. In some respects, that is a sad state of affairs. It suggests that I am not fully living my life. Clearly, I am not engaged sufficiently with others to create meaningful and rewarding relationships. However, maybe ... just maybe ... this is what I am meant to be doing with my life. I might be able to buy that if I were experiencing more happiness in my life. But, while I am productive, both at work and in my spiritual endeavors ... I would not say that I am happy much of the time. What would it take to Be Happy? The is a popular song that addresses this ... it talks about not having the things that you want, but rather wanting the things that you have. That is a profound distinction. It is interesting that it would be part of a popular song. Yet, how many people that hear this song have really heard and contemplated this particular point? However, even if people are not consciously aware, they are subconsciously aware. These words have entered into the mass consciousness.

We did make our suggested minimum quota of words for yesterday, though not by much. Let's see if we can fare better today. I was going to say it’s all in spirits hands. But, that is not quite correct. I have to be available and choose to expend the time and effort that allows this expression to manifest. If I only have an hour and a half to give, I'm only going to make the 1000 word mark. I need two and a half to three hours to make it to 2000 words. That is a major investment to give to doing anything ... especially when it is a daily investment seven days of the week. However, that is what I am moved to do. This expression is that important to me. And, it seems, that important to consciousness. I would not be moved so strongly to do this if there were not something larger at stake. This endeavor is important. It is important to me and it is important to consciousness. What will happen as a result of it remains to be seen. I know that people are visiting the Beyond Imagination site. I would hope that means that they are being exposed to the Beyond Imagination material and that they find it of value in some way. I can't tell how much information from the site is being accessed or how it is impacting anyone. Here, I need feedback. If you are accessing the site and finding it of value ... please let me know. Also, if there are any suggested improvements in how the site is organized or the material therein, please let me know that as well. I don't know if I'll be able to fix things, but I'm open to trying. This site is meant to serve you. If it is not doing that, I want to know. One way or another, please make the effort to provide feedback.

This site is also meant to serve me. I need a regular outlet wherein I can express all that is bottled up inside of me. This expression serves as that outlet. Here I am free to express whatever consciousness would express through me. And, that is a lot. But, that is not enough. It seems that I need a role on the stage of the world as well. I have a role to play, a mission to perform. I will not let anyone or anything get in the way of doing what I came to this planet to do. That includes myself. Hmm ... that was an interesting addition. But, it is true. Sometimes the toughest obstacle that we have to face is our own self and its beliefs. There is a sense that I am a device with limited storage ability. When I open the channel and allow the information to flow forth, it does so. But when I am not writing it is as if the dam is blocked and I am unable to express. I write often, but I rarely speak. This is partially because I am not in the presence of others very much. However, that seems to be no more than an excuse. If I truly desired for this to change, it would change. The very fact that it is not changing suggests that I do not really want it to, or do not believe that it can change. For things to happen in our life, we have to believe that they are possible and we have to believe that we are deserving of them. This later point is extremely important. We will not allow ourselves to receive anything more than we believe that we are worth. This is one of the fundamental spiritual laws of economics. We really need to believe that we deserve what we want. Further, that deserving needs to be based on something solid ... some service that we are providing that is worth more than what we desire. There needs to be a positive exchange of energy here. We need to be giving more than we receive. We do that by being all that we can be and doing what we are moved by spirit to do.

What more can I say? It seems that there is a lot. At what point will I start repeating myself and become redundant? Perhaps at any time, but perhaps never. Consciousness seems to be unlimited in this area. So long as she is willing to come through in this manner, I feel it is my duty to give her a voice through which to speak. Yes, it is an active voice. Yes, I am an inseparable part of the process. However, that doesn't mean that I can claim this expression as my own ... at least not wholly my own. Yet, at the same time it does not belong to anyone else that is physically incarnate. Hmm ... I guess that really does make it mine after all. We have no means of assigning ownership to spirit herself. It is through us that spirit expresses and experiences life in physical form. She has no need for the possessions of this world. But, there is nothing wrong with us reaching any particular level of abundance that we choose. We need to be careful though. It seems that to those that have, more shall be given. There is a phrase to this effect in the Bible if memory serves me. The meaning was veiled until a moment ago. I realized that along with having must come the appreciation of what we have. Unless we are grateful for it, we don't really have it. That is, it doesn't hold a place in our hearts. Gratitude is a very important attitude. It is important that we realize this and apply it ... thanking spirit regularly for all that we have in our lives, and even for the gift of being alive. Yes, life is a very precious gift. It is not something to be squandered. It is the gift that needs to keep on giving in order to stay alive and to manifest abundantly.

Beyond Imagination has work to do. Right now, I am still the only resource committed to doing that work. I must do it because I believe it to be my spiritual mission. At this point, it is still not clear as to the degree that others will be involved. I would hope that this would be extensive at least for some others. But, I won't know for sure until it happens. It is not clear how I will find them, or even if they exist. Then again, perhaps destiny will have them find me. I am leaving the appropriate markers and making attempts to reach out. Perhaps these are not of such a nature as someone more outgoing might attempt, but we do what we can. I must be true to whom that I AM. At the same time I need to be careful not to accept limitations that are not rightly mine. All limitations are self-imposed. It is for us to choose the limitations that we are willing to live with. We can always choose to overcome these and become more free at any time. However, this requires awareness. If we are not aware that we are imprisoned and enchained, we have no sense that we need to work to remove the shackles that bind us. Yet, all of us have our shackles ... some more than others. Most are content with living within them. In fact, many bear them gladly, unaware that they are shackles at all. However, being unaware doesn't change the nature of what is. It does, however, change our experience. And, it is our experience that ultimately counts.

Hmm ... do organizations experience reality in a similar fashion? Are they bound by shackles as well? Is there anything that we can do individually or collectively to free them? This is an interesting line of questioning. My sense is that there are indeed things that we can do. We have the power to create far more potent organizations that we have created to date. It takes work however. It does not simply happen. The very nature of organizations is that they involve groups of people. It will be interesting to see what organizations I choose to become a part of. I have not been much of a joiner in my life to date. Even in the few cases where I have joined organizations it was as an isolated individual. In most cases, I never met more than a handful of the members in the group. In some cases, I never met anyone associated with the organization. Yes, I have lived a pretty isolated existence. However, that has allowed me to develop in the way that I have. That has given me a different perspective on life than most people have. That has enabled me to breakthrough to new levels of awareness, some of which allow this very expression to come forth. I spent the first 35 years of my life in near silence. From age 15 on, I have been a major metaphysical information consumer. At 35, something switched inside of me and I became a metaphysical information generator. At 43-44, something switched again and I started musing nearly daily. It is curious that started on 1 January 2002. It was definitely unexpected. But, of all days ... to start on the first day of a year was particularly interesting. It definitely makes it seem like the timing was planned. I'm sure that it was, it just wasn't me doing the planning. And here we are midway through the 22nd month already. It will be interesting to see how long this continues. I have no prior experience that helps to answer this. It will continue so long as it continues. We won't know how long that is until it stops ... assuming that it will ever stop. This could very well be a phase of my life that lasts for the rest of my life. Though, there is a sense that the expression will evolve as time goes on. Exactly how this will evolve will unfold over time. I can live with that. I can wait and see.

What matters in the moment is what we do here and now. Ultimately, the moment is where we have power. It is the only place where we can do anything. And, it is in the doing of things that we effect change in the world. This is the only place where we can make a difference. Our life is meant to make a difference. But, it will only do so if we make it do so. That means we have to be more than a spectator. We have to do things. We have to share of whom that we are. My way of doing this is primarily via this expression. But I am open for this to change. I am open to interacting with others to achieve common goals and objectives. I don't know how I'm going to find these others ... but if it is meant to be it will be. Yes, I am resigned to the idea that I have a fate that I cannot escape. Not that I would want to even if I could. From what I have experienced, I am grateful for what spirit has in store for me. Yes, I could be more happy. However, there is something about being dissatisfied that pushes you to look for more. I relate strongly to the 48:Eight of Cups card in the Tarot. This is the Man in Search of More. No matter how far I go, no matter what I find, no matter what I experience, no matter what I become, I always know that there is more. There is always a feeling that I am incomplete somehow ... and that I will always be so while I am incarnate. What it takes to complete me is not of this world. How can I know this? It is just obvious to me. That doesn't mean that I don't have my moments of oneness with all that is. It would be nice if these were more frequent. Perhaps they will be in time. However, it seems that I need something to help motivate me to apply myself to do more and to be all that I can be.

Once again we return to the blank slate to write what would be written today. There is something special about being able to do this, about knowing that consciousness is there to come forth to fill the pages as she will. We've had a lot of practice doing this over the past ten and a half years. Though, in other ways, it seems that we are only beginning. There is so much that can be expressed. However, time is a limiting factor. We can only generate so many words per hour. This has remained fairly constant since the expression began. One might think that this would improve over time, but I have not experienced this. The generation rate has remained at roughly one 8.5 x 11 page per hour. That's approximately 700 words per hour or 12 words per minute. That is not a fast typing rate. Nor is it a fast speaking rate. But it is a comfortable rate for expression. Interesting. I haven't thought about it like this before. I can probably type at two to three times this speed. However, there is a limiting factor that is coming into play that is my conscious ability to receive this stream of consciousness expression. That is OK. It is what it is. And, there doesn't seem to be anyone out there voraciously consuming the millions of words that have already been generated. Perhaps this will occur someday, perhaps it will not. Either way, I have accomplished what I was moved to do. That is ultimately what matters. We are to be the instruments through which spirit expresses. What happens after that is in spirits hands. That doesn't mean that we don't have to do our parts. But, we can trust that we will be moved to do these when the time is right. Everything in our lives is the expression of spirit in flesh. There is nothing else to express. Though, many people may not consider what they do "spiritual". However, it is all "spiritual" ... there is nothing else that can express.

We are still moved to come here to express, as if by a force that we cannot resist. However, this is a choice ... this is a force that we choose not to resist. I am in command and responsible for all that I do ... and further for things that I could have done but did not do. Yes, this is a greater sense of responsibility than many are willing to accept. However, responsibility can be a very good thing. It can give us power in that area of our lives ... in some cases, great power. By having responsibility, we control what gets done in that area. That is a major plus. However, the cost of doing this is that we must give up blaming others, society, or circumstances for whatever we are experiencing. Being responsible means that the buck stops here as the saying goes. Any blame gets levied on ourselves. Though any credit gets levied there as well. We are responsible for all that we experience. We choose it all. No fine print, no exceptions.

What would I create in the world? What do I choose to experience? How would I change what is expressed through me? These are all important questions. I would create the foundations for a new world. But what does that mean in practical terms? How are such foundations manifest? It seems that someone has to have the foresight to dream of what could be and then take practical steps to express this and to manifest it. As to choosing to experience ... obviously I am comfortable with my life. Though the isolation and the remoteness remains difficult to take. I desire to share whom that I am much more than I have. How could I share more than I share here? It seems that it is not a matter of more, rather it is a matter of with whom. Right now, this seems up to the universe to determine. My attempts to select who this might be have been dismal failures. However, past results are no indication of future performance. Perhaps it is time to try again. It could simply have been a matter of poor timing. I do what I am moved to do. Spirit is an active force, a guiding force in my life. I would have it no other way. How is it that I'm so fortunate as to have spirit express through me in this way? It just seems to be in the cards for me in this existence. When I am expressing like this, I know that I am living up to my potential, I am doing the very things that I am meant to do. These are the things for which I incarnated this time around. How can I know that? Knowing is not something that is to be questioned. Some things you just know. It is not important how it happens, only that it happens. However, we need to be careful to distinguish what we know from what we believe from what we think. These are very different levels of operating. We can think a lot of things that we don't really believe and we can believe a lot of things that we don't really know. Further, if we truly know something, there is no room for belief ... it is already truth for us. That doesn't mean that we can't be confused and believe that we know things that are not true. In fact, if we are honest, we will find that much of our lives are lived in such a state. There is much that is unknown, and even unknowable. Some people are good at ignoring this. They are perfectly happy living their lives within set bounds. However, those of us that are explorers of consciousness do not have this luxury. We have decided that it is our place to venture into the unknown realms and then come back to share of what we find. To a large degree, that is what I do here. What purpose does it serve? The same purpose that all exploration has. Whether it is territory, or ideas, or realms of consciousness ... the unknown always offers its riches. It is but for us to find practical ways to use what we find. This too is a matter of searching. But, we will find what we seek provided we are sincere in our seeking.

I would live a life of spirit. I would do as spirit moves me to do. I would express as spirit moves me to express. I would be as spirit moves me to be. That's a lot of faith to place in spirit. But, where else would I place such faith? Spirit has been the one constant that I could count on throughout my life, especially from age 16 on, and particularly since age 35 (1993). How can I account for this? I don't need to. The fact that I have experienced it is sufficient. It is not important that I be able to explain it ... only that I accept it for what it is. Awareness, allowance, and acceptance are very important in life. Some people exhibit various combinations of these to some degree, but few have them all to a high degree. That is the goal. That is the state that we are attempting to achieve ... high awareness, high allowance, and high acceptance. The middle one, high allowance, is one of the hardest to achieve. We need to allow people to be whom that they are ... whatever that is. It helps if we believe that in general, people are doing the best that they can given their abilities and the circumstances that they find themselves within. In general, people want to do good. They want to do the right things. They just may not know what this is at times. To some degree, we are all living lives of spirit. We are all spiritual beings at heart in the midst of a physical experience. However, too many focus on being physical and lose sight of their ultimate nature. This can be corrected ... but it takes a collective awakening. It is not clear that we've really had one of these yet, though the Renaissance came very close. We need something that allows the spirit within each of us to be ignited and to shine more brightly. We need to be careful not to burn people out in the process, however. There is a very real risk of this.

It still amazes me that all of this could come through as it does. What does it say about consciousness that the material flows as it does? What does it say about the other than conscious organizational abilities within us? If I can do this day in and day out ... what can you do with your life? What can you do to express whom that you are and to allow spirit to express through you? No, it may not be through writing as I do here. But, there is something creative that you can do that can serve or benefit others. It is up to you to find out what that is and do it. Do it so long as you are moved to do it. Do it because it allows you to express whom that you are as nothing else does. Do it because it brings you fulfillment and happiness. Just do it! Trust that if you are open and listen to the communication from the source within, it will guide you and move you to carry out the mission that is yours to do. Each of us has such a mission. Some it seems have many such missions. However, whatever yours is is right for you. You selected it after all. And, you created the specific form that you are as the particular vessel through which to accomplish your mission(s). No, you didn't necessarily make it easy. Usually, it involves challenges of various types. But, it seems that some have it much easier than others. We need challenges to temper us and allow us to find out what we are really made of. However, too much is too much. And, it seems that collectively we have allowed things to become too much for a sizeable number of individuals.

Namaste! It is difficult to decide where to begin. I got involved in metaphysics with the philosophy of Plato, Pirzig's book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, a book on Transcendental Meditation and the Art of Being by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and the Seth Books by Jane Roberts all during the my 16th year. That was 30 years ago ... and it has been a love affair ever since. This study has commanded my attention and much of my free time since then. 10 years ago, I experienced a breakpoint, a major shift in awareness and started generating metaphysical information rather than only consume it. Since 1 January 2002, I have been expressing nearly daily for two to three hours per day. What can I say? I am compelled to express, and I choose to allow the stream of consciousness to come forth in whatever manner it will.

What is metaphysics? To me it is the study of the nature of consciousness, the nature of being, the nature of reality, the nature of spirit, and how all of these manifest in our lives. These are very big things. However, they are things that each of us experience each day ... even though most people don't really think about them. We typically leave such topics to our philosophers to contemplate. But that is not necessary or even desirable. These things have real meaning in our day to day lives. Understanding them can help us lead better lives and find our place in the larger scheme of things.

The one thing that most characterizes consciousness is awareness. What are we aware of ourselves to be? There is an observer part to our consciousness that watches everything that we do. It doesn't necessarily judge. It simply observes. Since my shift in awareness in 1993, I have been aware of this observer part of myself during most of my waking hours. Even as I type this, I am aware of watching my fingers on the keyboard at the same time I'm observing the screen at the same time I'm observing the frame of my glasses and the things that are both within and outside of that frame. I'm also aware of the working of my mind as it accepts and formulates these words. The source is somewhere deep inside me. It is an intuitive source that is somehow connected to spirit or the one consciousness. I believe that everyone is connected to and part of this same one consciousness.

Know Thyself! This is one of the key directives I've followed for over 2/3rds of my 45 years. I believe I've been successful in this pursuit. However, much of the success comes from being open to new things and being willing to try them and judge them based on their utility. I've used a variety of techniques in this pursuit ... astrology, aura readings, enneagrams, IQ tests, numerology, psychic readings, tarot to name a few. Of these, most were helpful in confirming things that I already knew about myself. But the confirmation was helpful in its own right. Numerology and the tarot have been most useful in revealing spiritual meaning in the ordinary symbol systems of the world. Astrology has been useful in revealing the timing for major spiritual events.

I generated the above as an introduction to a talk on Metaphysics and Wayne's World that I am going to give to members of the Human Development Club at work. Not wanting to lose anything, I thought I'd capture it here as well since it is basically the same stream of consciousness in expression, just for a slightly different purpose. Besides, it addresses a few things that we haven't talked about for some time. I really was hit by metaphysics on at least four fronts at the same time in my 16th year. And, it was definitely as if fireworks were going off in my brain. What I was reading made sense, at least intellectually ... and I was living primarily in my mind at that time. Actually from that time until close to my 35th birthday when the Beyond Mind experiences began and Beyond Imagination was given birth. From that point on, I was a spiritual being in expression using my mind as a tool for doing my work. It no longer mattered much what my mind thought. What became important was consciousness and my spiritual awareness. These have remained of primary importance to this very day ... and they will probably always be so. That is to be expected, at least for me. My very nature is spiritual. It is revealed in my aura, my numbers, my astrological charts, and my abilities, interests, and talents. Everything is focused on doing what I can do to help build the foundations that allow spirit to express more fully in flesh. That is a big job. I know that. But, someone or some group has to do it. For one reason or another, I have accepted it as my task to do. I have known for a long time that I came into this existence to perform a particular mission ... and that when this is done, my life will be over and I will move on the the next adventure in consciousness. I think it was Richard Bach in Illusions that said some to the effect:

That is quite appropriate. That is the only way to know when we have done enough. However, we all have different missions in life. These are not to be compared to one another. There is no greater and no lesser. There is only what you personally came to do, both individually and in the context of society. We execute this most effectively when we learn to connect with the spirit within us and choose to do what she moves us to do. This doesn't happen automatically ... at least not for the vast majority. It takes self-work to establish the inner connection. And then it takes courage to be all that we can be while executing what spirit would more us to do. Yes, it takes courage to live a life of spirit. Perhaps that is part of the reason I call this particular expression the Musings of a Spiritual Warrior. Yet, it seems that our major battle is with the self and its ways of perceiving the world. It is not clear that this battle ever ends. It is the constant challenge of being an aware spiritual being. It is difficult keeping the ego in check through all of this. There is a natural tendency towards grandiosity. For me, my bipolar condition is responsible for some of this. But, at some level, I chose this very condition and the mental states that it brings. I don't really know how this relates to others. Though, I sense that there is some utility in sharing of myself in this way ... if only to provide an example of what can be. In this case, it happens to be a verbose example with several millions of words expressed.

So, what am I moved to do next? I'm still here, engaged in this expression. But, I long for more interaction and sharing on a deeper level. What can I do to facilitate this? The basic answer is the same: to be all that I can be and to do what I am moved to do. At least we're consistent. Though consistency is not necessarily a positive thing. I still live very much in the moment. The more we do this, the more power we can exert ... because the moment is the only place that we can take action, and it is action that creates change. It is action that makes a difference in our lives. It is service that makes a difference in our world. Ultimately, making a positive difference is what really matters. The bigger the difference the better. The world should be a better place for our having lived. But, it will only be so if we do what it takes to make it so. We have to want to make a difference. We have to believe that we can make a difference. And, we have to do what it takes to make that difference.

One way to make a difference is to help those in need who ask for our help. There is a reason that they are asking, and in particular asking us. Where we can we need to answer this call. Though how we help is up to us. One of my sisters called this evening needing my help financially. She was in trouble and needed a little money. She doesn't ask very often and then asks only for what she really needs so I don't mind helping her. She has had a very difficult life. The bipolar condition started for her in her early teens and wasn't diagnosed for over 15 years. That resulted in an extreme roller coaster ride for her emotionally. I've been far more fortunate in my life. For this I am grateful. My experience with bipolar has been a spiritual one.

I don't speak much of my family, or any others for the most part. Primarily, that is because I have effectively isolated myself from others in the world ... with the exception of casual interactions. What I know is my own experience. This is what I can share, and I try to share it fully. Whether it comes across that way is for you to determine. Does what I express impact you or empower you in some way? That is what really matters. I can't believe that consciousness is expressing all of this solely for me. Yes, I'm special ... but, not that special. Sharing is how we make a difference in each others life. I like to think that with this expression I share of whom that I AM in an intimate way. Then, what do I know of intimacy? I do know that in all of my reading, I have never encountered material like what is expressed here. Then again, that could be said for the expressions of others that have impacted my life greatly ... such as Jane Roberts and the Seth books and Neale Donald Walsch and the Conversations with God books.

I can't point to anything that I read that caused my awakening in 1993. It seemed to be triggered by other forces at play in my life. All of a sudden, my consciousness started to stretch beyond itself. Astrological signs indicated that major spiritual forces were at work. Neptune and Uranus were conjunct and square to my Natal Sun. That's two outer planets in the strongest transit (conjunct) in one of the strongest triggering aspects to the planet of the self (Sun). The cosmic egg simply had to crack. And, that it did ... wide open in fact. I was left with a radical discontinuity in my experience of whom that I AM. Suddenly, I became aware of being more than I dreamed that I was before. And, this awareness colored everything that I experienced. Then, there was this stream of consciousness expression to deal with as well. Words were flowing forth from me. Things were stated that I had no right to know based on any experiences that I was aware of to date. Yet, I simply knew them. I experienced a major beliefquake that rocked and undermined the foundations of my belief system. I had to start anew and discover what worked. How many others have had such experiences? I have no way of knowing. My sense is that it is still very rare, but that it is on the increase. The Aquarian Age is a time of increased conscious expression of spirit in flesh. Does that mean that everyone will mend their ways and conform with the new energy being expressed? It is not that simple. It is not clear how we get rid of the criminal element and those who would do harm to others. Yet, somehow this is what we need to do. Catching criminals and putting them in jail doesn't seem to be an effective way of dealing with the problem. However, I have no alternatives to suggest at the moment. There must be better ways to rehabilitate criminals. The answer seems to be in finding some what to increase their spiritual awareness. We need to induce an awakening experience that results in the criminal not choosing to harm anymore.

We're doing good for the month. This makes 16 musings in 16 days. That is not a large streak compared with some that we have had, but it is a decent streak nonetheless. We've been averaging one missed musing every ten days, but often they come in close proximity. That is OK. There is plenty of opportunity to express what must be expressed. And, what cannot be expressed by us will be expressed by others. For, the expression of spirit in flesh is what life is all about. We are integral parts of the evolution of that expression. It is through us that spirit speaks and does her work in the world. Our hands are her hands, our eyes are her eyes, our mind is her mind. We are spirit enfleshed here and now. We have always been and will always be. That applies to all of us. It is all spirit. There is nothing but spirit in expression. If that is so, then how do we explain all the bad, all the ugliness, all the violence and evil that is expressed in the world? One doesn't need to look far to find it. It seems that it is everywhere. And, in many respects it is. But there are shining pockets of hope ... places untouched by all of this. They are there because we create them to be. We are creating the very world in which we exist. However, blinders will not necessarily work to remove those elements that we do not want to see. They may for awhile ... but ultimately we must institute changes for those things that we no longer desire to manifest in our world. As a society, we are not really used to doing this. One reason for this is that we still behave as individuals loosely grouped into a collective. This looseness limits our ability to manifest our collective will ... and hopefully goodwill. Complex systems operate somewhere on the continuum between order and chaos. Too much order and there is insufficient ability to adapt to changes. Too much chaos, as there is not enough structure to give form to our manifestations. Life itself is a complex system that exists on this continuum. However, there is an operating range wherein spirit can express physically. Some prefer more order and some more chaos in their lives. This should be a lifestyle choice. We have the same choice to make for our organizations ... only it is a collective rather than an individual choice.

How do we hold our organizations accountable for what they do and in some cases do not do? Ultimately the organization is a collective expression of individuals. To what degree are which individuals within the organization held accountable for their decisions and the results of those decisions? Often, it is not the decision itself that is the problem ... it is the impacts of the decision on others. So, where is this leading? What organizations would I choose to belong to? What organizations are out there to belong to? What organizations are focused on creating a new world? How does one find out about these organizations? How does one get an invitation to join? I believe that there are still secret societies out there who select their prospective members carefully. How does one get on the list as a viable candidate?

From their works shall thou know them. To date, our "works" are mere words shared at a web site and organized into books. That is important, but that is not enough. We need to do things and create things in accord with these words. We are beginning to do that. It is a slow process, but in the end we will succeed. The fate of the world lies in our hands. Yes, it is grandiose of me to believe that. But if we are going to make a difference in the world, we need to take responsibility and do it. Why me? Why not me? Who else is standing up volunteering to take this on? Surely, there are others who are meant to join me in this endeavor. It is a matter of finding the works that they are doing and recognizing them to be other players on the same team. There is a sense that I have done about as much as I can effectively do on my own. It is time to engage others. I know that. It is just not clear how to implement it in my life yet. Other than having volunteers step forward, I'm not sure what it is that I can do to identify those I am meant to work with. Yes, I believe this is destined and will happen at the right time with the right people.

Life unfolds miraculously before us. Spirit animates all life. We all live in a spiritual world. That world is embedded in the symbol systems that permeate the physical world and our knowledge about that world. Often symbol systems operate on multiple levels. The most important meanings are often hidden ... and may not be related at all to the common meaning. The symbol systems that I have found most useful are those used in various intuitive arts and sciences. It is the disciplines that employ the intuition that seem to be closest to the spiritual. This is not surprising since the intuition is our connection to our source ... the spirit within us. It is amazing to see how much specific information about us is contained in these information systems. One just needs to learn the appropriate spiritual languages or hire the services of those who have learned them. Numbers are still highly important in my life 88 and 888.88 were prominent today. I look at 8 as the "as above, so below" symbol. 88 is "infinity above, infinity below". Five 8's in sequence is quite rare. Actually, it is not just 8's. Quintuples and even quadruples are rare. When such numbers enter my awareness, I take notice and start to look harder for thinks of significance to enter into my world. This truly is Wayne's World. I would guess that it is unlike any other. That doesn't mean it is more correct or better in any way. It is what it is. It is what I happen to experience ... what the greater I the I AM happens to create. I look out into this world and see my reflection looking back at me. All of this is what I have outpictured in some way. There are many parts of the consensus world that have no corresponding place in Wayne's World. As such, they simply receive no energy and attention. This is a choice that I make. Wherever we invest our attention and energy, our world grows. Our beliefs are our primary means of making the choice as to how we will invest ourselves. They determine what we want to see and ultimately what we manifest as our reality. Note the emphasis. I don't believe that there is anything that is the reality. From what I can tell, reality is the subjective phenomenon that an aware being experiences. There is no objective reality. That is why science doesn't ultimately lead us to spiritual truth. That does not mean that it doesn't have it's place. Science and its cousin Technology have allowed us to create many wonders in our world and come to an understanding of many things. However, it will never be able to tell us the meaning of life, or the purpose of any individual life. For this we must appeal to other domains and other disciplines. These may not be as rigorous. In fact, they may be downright fuzzy in comparison. That doesn't matter, they are what they are and they are sufficient to accomplish their purpose. I am a sort of jack of all trades if you will with an extensive formal education in math, science, and engineering; and an extensive informal training in metaphysics. Both have been important in my life. But, I can't imagine living without the later in my life. Metaphysics is that important to whom that I AM. It is that part of my education that allows this expression to come forth as it does. The quantity and quality of the expression continue to blow me away. I look back at everything that has been expressed and just can't believe it. How could all of this come forth through me? What does it say about the nature of the Self, the nature of consciousness, and how spirit expresses in flesh?

The words continue to pour forth. Where they come from ... I only know as source. They do not feel like they come from me, rather they come through me. That feeling has been consistent throughout the past decade. If these words are from me ... then there are knowledgeable parts of us that we know only by their works. Is that really any different than other parts of us? Do we really know how our eyes see or how our ears hear or how our mind thinks, or how our intuition intuits? Do we know how consciousness expresses in us? Do we know what constitutes awareness? Do we know how spirit touches us and infuses us with life? My understanding is that we know very little about any of this. Even with all that I have experienced and expressed, I personally know very little ... and the vast majority know much less. Yet a good number of us are able to lead fruitful and fulfilling lives anyway. I don't know that I count myself in this number yet. It seems that I need to reach a point where I am more happy to be able to place myself in such a category. What does it take to be fulfilled and happy? Living the life that you are meant to live. Hmm ... that is an interesting answer. We will know when we are doing what we are meant to do by noting how happy we are when doing it. That puts this expression right at the top. Here is where I truly live. Here is where I get to express whom that I AM. But what good does it do if there is no one to share it? Actually, there is a one-way sharing that is occurring. It just seems it would be much more effective as a two-way exchange. One way or another, it seems that we will know soon enough. I have a strong sense that major changes are in store for my life. Is this wishful thinking ... or is this based on something real? I guess we will know if it happens. That is the ultimate test of everything.

What would I manifest in my life? I could be more abundant. Though, I have more abundance in my life already than most experience. It seems that I should be more thankful for and appreciative of what I already have in my life. How can we think about being deserving of more if we aren't grateful for what we have? There is always something to be grateful for. Most of us will find that there is much to be grateful for, far more than we had thought. Just being alive is a miracle. Being healthy is another. Living in a free country is another. Having the opportunity to be whom we choose to be is another. Enjoying the fruits of a free enterprise economy is another. There are so many things to be grateful for. The bottom line is what we believe that we deserve. This is the limiting factor in what we manifest for ourselves. We are constantly creating what we believe that we deserve in our life. If we don't like what we are experiencing, that is where we need to work ... with our beliefs about what we deserve. In doing so, we need to be kind to ourselves and avoid beating ourselves up. We also need to refrain from accepting past patterns as indicators of future experience. We have the power to change these patterns in the moment. And, change them we must if we want to be free from them.

Once again we come here to express. This is a sanctuary where we are free to express as we will. No, that is not quite right. We express as spirit wills. We allow this stream of consciousness to come forth. We may guide or steer it at times. However, mostly we just allow it to take us wherever it will. We trust that what is expressed has a purpose, has a reason for existence. I know for a fact that it moves me deeply. I share it in the hope that it will move others in a similar manner. This is an example of how consciousness can express if we allow her to do so in our lives. For some, this is a difficult thing to do. It requires letting go and operating out of control to some degree. It requires taking our consciousness to the very edge of what might be considered sane ... and occasionally jumping off and flying. As one diagnosed as bipolar who experiences mania regularly ... this is relatively easy for me. You might even say that it is natural for me. Others might find it far more difficult or challenging. By some accounts, I have to be crazy to believe as I do. Many of my beliefs are far from conventional. In particular, the metaphysics related beliefs. However, that doesn't make them wrong. We are free to believe whatsoever we choose. Ultimately, the true test for beliefs is utility. Do they empower us and help us to lead a better life ... including having a positive impact on all those whom we touch?

Man has only been flying physically for close to 100 years. The first flight took place in around 1903. Yet, in consciousness we have been soaring for millennia. No, not the masses. But there have always been avatars to show the way. It is interesting that aviator and avatar are so close to one another. The biggest difference being the "I". Otherwise, they would sound similar. To me, the "I" represents the addition of ego. If we drop the vowels, we get v-t-r as the root for both words. 22-2-9. Isn't that interesting, a span of 13 from 2-9 to 2-22. 9 is the Hermit. 22 is the Master Builder. 2:The High Priestess and the Ray of Love/Wisdom. This is the first time I've been moved to find meaning in this manner. However, there is something in the back of my mind about Sanskrit words being the root consonants. I consider Sanskrit to be a spiritual language ... though I know very little about it. If memory serves me, Hebrew also focuses on the consonants, leaving out the vowels.

Where do we go to find the guideposts that others have left in the wilderness of consciousness? I've operated solo for so long that I don't really know. Occasionally I find a book that moves me. However, much of my life now is given to this expression. For the most part, this is a one way exchange ... a flow of information from source through me to the world. Rarely do I get any feedback from others. I solicit and desire feedback. It might help me to adjust what is expressed so that it comes forth even better than it does. Though, I think quite highly of what is expressed and am glad to be able to play a role in its manifestation. I love words, especially words that move us deeply. This expression has many passages that move me deeply. I have every reason to believe that they have the potential to move others in a similar fashion. That is part of what keeps me doing this. There is a sense of importance; a sense that I am doing something that can make a real difference in people's lives ... many people's lives. It seems it is not for me to know how many. Further, the impact of this expression may not even occur within my lifetime. It depends on the readiness of individuals in the world to embrace new wisdom ... to embrace a new set of fundamental principles at the foundations of society. Spirit knows what these fundamental principles are and she will exercise her creativity to ensure that the world gets out in a variety of forms that the variety of people in the world can relate to. There is no one way. There are many paths available to follow. It is for us to find the path(s) that are right for us, or to blaze new ones if necessary.

The idea that the impact of my expression may not be felt until after I have departed was a bit disconcerting. I have always felt that I am here to make a difference to the world and that I would see that difference manifest even though I wouldn't be around very long to enjoy the fruits of what I helped to create. I still feel this to be the case ... that I will see a new world manifest in a new age before I depart. Though, the sense is that I need to find more ways to enjoy the process. It needs to be enough that I do what I can do and that I express to the best of my ability. That is all that we can expect from anyone. All that we can do is our best. Though, if we are growing and developing, our best keeps becoming better and better. Why am I so determined to make a difference on a worldwide level? That is a grandiose thing to need to do. Indeed it is. But, I believe that my abilities are such that such grandiosity is deserved in my case. Someone needs to do such grand things. That I recognize that they need to be done and that I have the ability to do them suggest that perhaps they are mine to do. If they are someone else's tasks ... they will step forward to do them as required. At this point in my life I am still focused on what it is that I can do. My expression is still as an individual. Though I desire that it expand to be a group expression. This requires finding kindred spirits that are interest in doing things to create a new world. I need to find them or they need to find me. Somehow we need to find one another. Here, I am somewhat at a loss as to how to do this. At 45, this is not something I've done very much. About 16 years ago, I set out in search of kindred spirits to discuss the Seth material. In fact, I met my wife and an astrologer friend that way. The intent in posting all of the material to the Beyond Imagination site was to help find my spiritual family. I have not really been successful at this. Not that I haven't been trying. I've expressed a lot and posted nearly everything. However, that has resulted in only an occasional communication ... or sometimes brief series of communications. There have been no long lasting relationships that have developed where there is frequent communication. It seems that such is what I am looking for now, either someone or some group to interact with on a regular basis. It would help to have a support group that served as a base from which I could soar further than I can on my own. That is my desire at this point anyway. I realize that being a member of such a group requires a commitment of my time and energy. But, the sense is that the rewards far outweigh the investment. Looking at what has been expressed through me in the past decade, it boggles my mind to think of what might be expressed if we had a group of kindred spirits working together to manifest something. Just think of what we might be able to achieve. Literally, the sky is the limit. So, two things are needed ... to find the members of the group, and to set up an organization that allows them to function effectively together. My experience with groups to date has been quite limited. Occasionally, I work on various teams in my job. However, I have virtually no social life, so my experience outside of work is nearly non-existent. That is OK. That hasn't stopped me from connecting with source and expressing all that I have here.

So, where do we go from here? It seems that we continue to be moved to express. Consciousness, it seems, still has much to say through us. We don't know how long that will last ... but it seems that it will continue through the end of the year. There is no reason that I know of that would keep it from continuing into 2004 as well. Though, it seems it is time for a change in focus or a change in format of some type. The new year brings a whole new set of vibrations. 2 x 1002 = 2 x 2 x 501 = 2 x 2 x 3 x 167 = 12 x 167 = the cube with edges of 167. 167 is 33 to 2 = 33 22 a double master number with the Master Teacher and the Master Builder. That seems appropriate for doing something to help build the foundations for a new world. The Master Builder needs to build the spiritual foundations and the Master Teacher needs to educate people to prepare them to live in the new world in the new age.

One more day. Once again we find our way here to express as has become our habit of late. And, such a nice habit it is ... to be able to bring forth something fresh and new each day. Here we engage in the expression of consciousness. Here, we experience a little more of whom that we are. That is what life is about for us, the expression of spirit in flesh. This stream of consciousness is spirits way of expressing through us. It is important that it is allowed to flow forth. Important to whom? For one, it is important to me. But, my sense is that it is important to others as well, though they be unknown to me. My wife asked today how many books I intended to publish. I responded at least four more that I know of ... perhaps more depending on what I am moved to write. She also asked if I really needed to publish everything that I write. The underlying tone suggested that perhaps some of it was not worthy of going to the trouble to publish it. After all, how many book sales have I had. I only know of three for certain. We won't know if there were more and how many there were until we see the royalty statements from the publisher next month. We should have started to see some sales, but I wouldn't have any clue as to how many. We published the books to give the Beyond Imagination material a more official footing and to make the material available in more than just pages on the WWW. Most of the material in the books is still available at the Beyond Imagination site and I have no intent to change that. There is just something about having a real book in your hands that is more satisfying and more convenient.

OK, what would we express today? What is import on this 10/18 = 28 day in a 23/5 year? I applied for a credit card at Home Depot to purchase some wood flooring for the house. The final five of the credit card came out as 20184. This is very close to the final four of my SSN = 2184. Actually, 2184 has been coming up all over the place. In one case it had 45 on one side and 59 = 5x9 = 45 on the other side. My present age is 45. Further, my gas bill today came to 20.25 = 45 x 45. Another confirmation that I am onto something. However, the pieces do not create a comprehensive picture. At least not yet. All in due time. We experience what we need to experience when we need to experience it. There is nothing that we can do to force things to happen before their time. However, it seems that we can do things that delay when things happen in our lives ... or perhaps even prevent them from happening. Destiny is somewhat open ended. It is dependent on our choices to play itself out. We truly do create our reality. It is within our power to make our lives a living hell or a heaven on earth or anything in between. How many of us realize this? How many of us accept responsibility, full responsibility, for what happens in our lives and how we react to it? It isn't so much what happens that matters, it is the meaning that we assign to what happens. We are free to assign any meaning to anything that happens. We can allow things to touch us or we can remain aloof. This is one area where our freedom is absolute. We will be subject to our beliefs however. Our beliefs are our way of informing our self as to what we would like to see in our reality. They include beliefs about self worth and what we are worthy of receiving. They include beliefs about what is important and what is not important. They include beliefs about the nature of reality and how it is created.

What would I create in my life that I don't already have? The primary thing missing is relationships. This is not surprising since I've effectively chosen to live my life as a hermit. Though, that in and of itself doesn't preclude the establishment of relationships. Part of the challenge is that I'm looking for others that relate to what and how I express. So, they need to be interested enough to read a reasonable portion of what is at the Beyond Imagination site. That provides a basis for opening a dialog and starting a friendship. I'm willing to read what others have expressed as well if they'll make contact and point me to the site. How important is this to me? My sense is that I'm reaching the limits of what I can do on my own. I don't know right now whether that will happen in two months, two seasons, two years, or even two decades. It seems like it is sooner vs later. I don't like the idea of remaining alone indefinitely. And, that is how I feel. Though, it is an aloneness that is at one with spirit ... so how alone can it really be? Spirit is always by my side. She is ever ready to express when we allow her to. This is her expression as much as it is mine, perhaps even more so.

What else would I create? Clearly this expression is one thing. It is important to allow spirit to express here as she will. I put no restrictions on what she would communicate. I trust that she has something to say that needs to be expressed and needs to be heard by someone ... perhaps even by many. At some point, maybe the Beyond Imagination works will make it to bestseller status. Though, for me it is enough that it reached who it is intended to reach ... and, I believe that to be spirits call not mine. Is that a copout? It seems that I make spirit responsible for everything. However I take full responsibility for what I allow spirit to do through me. So, there is personal responsibility as well. I'm not trying to get away with anything. I'm just doing the best with what I've got. Since I have alot, I expect a great deal from myself. For years, I was by far my harshest critic. Lately, I go far easier not only on myself but on others. Awareness, allowance, and acceptance. Let this be our creed.

In over seventeen years of formal schooling through an MSEE from Stanford, I don't remember even once discussing or covering awareness. How can our education system claim to be educating us if it fails to include something so fundamental? If we follow the dictum to Know Thyself, nearly the first thing we encounter on the path is that we are an aware being with a consciousness only part of which we are directly aware. In fact, it is difficult to tell whether the known or the unknown is the greater part of existence. I would offer it is the unknown. The relationship of the known to the unknown is similar to that between the part of an iceberg above water versus below water.

We're getting a very late start tonight. The day just got away from me. Sometimes it is like that. Having to commute back to Redondo Beach didn't help, but that's the normal Sunday night drill. Anyway we're here now. Let's see what consciousness has to express. I never really know what to expect. I give consciousness free reign here. From the beginning over ten years ago, this has been a stream of consciousness expression. I have never been one to engage in much research. You'll notice that there are no footnotes and few references to the works of others. That is not so much by design as it is by natural tendency. I don't tend to remember very much. Material gets input from a variety of sources and gets put into the matrix of my mind. The things that need to be connected get connected. The things that I need to be aware of somehow get brought to my attention. In many ways, I live my life on automatic ... trusting that other than conscious parts of me are feeding me what I need to experience. Someone asked whether these writings are channeled or automatic. I don't know that they are channeled. I don't sense them to be coming from an "entity" other than me. However they do come forth automatically from something that I label as "source".

The nature of the expression changes from day to day, and even from hour to hour sometimes. This seems to be due to changes in me rather than changes in source. Some days the expression is so fast that I can barely keep up with typing it. Other days the expression seems to be much slower ... there is more of an effort required to bring it forth. That too does not seem to matter. The speed of delivery is what it is. I trust that whatever is meant to come forth will indeed do so. A whole lot comes forth. How am I expected to deal with literally millions of words? Before I'm through, there will likely be over 10 million words, though that depends on continued expression for the next 25 years at a rate equivalent to that of the past decade. At this point, I have no reason to doubt that this will occur. Writing is it for me. It is how I express whom that I AM. No, it is not as personal as speaking. But, I must do what I must do.

I met with someone today who was far more comfortable speaking about her metaphysical experiences than I am. I found the interaction interesting and even enjoyable. I could definitely use a lot more of that in my life. I can see that I would benefit greatly from it. And, hopefully I would have something to share as a result of equal or greater value. So, what can I do to draw more such people and experiences into my life? How do I create an emotional reality as rich as the spiritual one that I enjoy? How do I adjust my spiritual reality so that it is inclusive of others and not so isolated? Yes, that is what I desire now. It is time to start living a richer life. What do I have to do to make it richer?

What would I do next? How would I change my life to conform to what I desire? How do I make connections and establish friendships? This is new ground for me. I've been such a loner for so long that I don't really know how to do this. Most people acquire this skill of being social as they are growing up. I was deficient in this, preferring to focus on self and finding out who I am. As an Aries with Uranus in the first house, this is natural. I am eccentric. I know that. However, I need to live in the world anyway. I need to do my work in the world as well. Though, this involves building the foundations for a new world. My experience today verifies that I am not meant to do this alone. This is something requires the cooperation of many. We each have our pieces of the puzzle to share. Together we can create something magnificent. We can bring forth a spiritual vibration that literally changes the world ... big time. A new world for a new age ... how appropriate. This is grand work that we are doing. It is work that takes aware beings doing what they can, doing what they are moved to do.

Another day, another musing. That makes 20 for 20 this month. I am grateful to have the talents necessary to express in this manner. It is not something that many are blessed to do. Why should I be picked out to be so special? I am whom that I AM. The more that I express, the more that I learn just who this is. There is something about watching this stream of consciousness being expressed through me that is powerful and enlightening. It is definitely mind expanding and consciousness expanding. For me, this is how I learn what I am capable of ... or what spirit is capable of expressing through me. There is nothing like firsthand experience. Yet, I am deeply moved to share what comes forth. I don't know why exactly. There is just a sense that the expression could be of utility to others ... perhaps even great utility. It documents an aware being coming to grips with the nature of itself, consciousness, and spirit. Is that enough to give it value to others? My immediate answer is yes. But, that comes from a pride of authorship, and a grandiosity of spirit. That is OK. For many years, I have done what I am moved to do. I've been moved to express and share what is expressed for over a decade now. Prior to that, I was in input mode ... and didn't really write anything.

What changed? In 1993, I experienced an intense spiritual awakening over the course of about 6 months. During that time, the writings began and grew greatly in frequency and volume. By August, I was flying high ... so high that I could not function at work and took what was to be a three month medical leave of absence. On October 1, I was taken to the mental hospital and diagnosed as bipolar. I was put on Eskalith to control the swings of mental function. About six months later, Depakote was added to the daily medications. I'm still taking these to this day, along with Zyprexa which was added a couple of years ago when I was flying high again. As far as I can tell, I am fortunate in only seeing the manic side of bipolar. I don't think that I've been depressed during this time. I seem to vary from mild mania to moderate mania even with the medications. My life is primarily a life of spirit ... or at least a life devoted to spiritual expression. Such it has been since the awakening. For 20 years prior to that, I was heavily involved in metaphysics ... reading over 1000 books. If I could remember what I read, that should have been enough to make me an expert. However, my understanding was in my head. I lived in my mind and my mental creations. Now, I live in a different place. I use my mental abilities, but they are subordinate to the experience of being consciousness and being aware.

I had an interesting e-mail from someone regarding Reality Creation 1010. He said that many people are reluctant to read a "wall of words". I thought that was interesting. What are the foundations for a new world going to be? Are walls of words sufficient? It is curious that I don't indent the first words of paragraphs. This has been my style since the expression began. I divide paragraphs with a blank line. Some of my paragraphs are quite long ... exceeding a page of text in book format. However, the breaks occur naturally. Writing has always been a natural process for me. I didn't have to learn how to do it. And, I refuse to consciously conform to any rules. This stream of consciousness expression is perfectly suited to my temperament and my nature. Here is where I am free in ways that I am not free anywhere else. Here is where I can be whom that I AM. The blank page doesn't criticize. It openly accepts all that I would care to express. What happens after that has not been my concern very much to date. Though, that is starting to change. There is a sense that I have a role to play in getting the word out ... in making people aware that Beyond Imagination exists and has a body of metaphysical works that may be of utility to people in their lives. There is a lot of guidance offered here. No, it does not apply to everyone ... at least not all of it. But, there is enough variety that it can apply to many. Will the material ultimately impact many? That we will see in the months and years ahead. It will impact who it is meant to impact ... and they in turn will impact others. And, in the end the whole world will awaken. But, one step at a time.

We have six books published to date this year, a seventh due out any day now, and an eighth due out before Christmas. That is a monumental amount of work to have accomplished in a year. We expect to publish at least four more books in 2004. In fact, we are already working on three of them. Why so many? Because there was a lot of material to pull from and the amount of work to package it into books was far less than I had thought possible. Also, the cost to publish each book was very reasonable. Prior to February, I had no idea just how reasonable. No, the books aren't perfect. They capture the Beyond Imagination expression as it came forth. There was no sense that I should edit it in any way, other than spell checking and some simple grammar correction. I am not one to rewrite what has already come forth. Even during my school days, the first draft was almost always the final one. I trust that whatever is bringing it forth knows what she is doing and is expressing what she wants to express. Yes, I am an integral part of the process ... however, no more integral than the keyboard that allows me to get this expression into the computer so that it can be stored, displayed, and ultimately shared. Thou, my mind does have to synchronize with the energy that is being expressed. I liken the process to an instrument being played by a master musician. My mind is the instrument, spirit is the musician. My awareness experiences the music that spirit is able to evoke through the instrument. Further, and perhaps even more importantly ... my awareness witnesses the process. In doing so, I know that I am not doing it all, not consciously anyway. There is a mystery involved in how all of this works. The process is magical. It is not meant to be explained, it is meant to be experienced.

I have this feeling that I am starting to repeat things that I have said before. It is not clear how much truly new material is coming forth. Yet, I am moved to express in this manner anyway. The expression is what it needs to be. It flows out of the present moment into manifestation. Here, the word is made flesh and is captured in physical form. File after file, day after day the expression continues. Even after ten years, it still moves me deeply. I am amazed by what is expressed, not only amazed that it could come through me ... but amazed that it could come forth from spirit in this manner. I can still go back to any part of the expression and re-experience it as if it were the first time that I saw it. Seth's work was like that as well. Though, Seth was more focused in his books than I am. What does that say about the material that it can remain new and fresh in that way? Further, it seems that the meaning of what was expressed varies over time as I change and grow in awareness. I wonder whether the expression impacts others in that way as well.

I am anxious to get on with my life. There is a strong sense that a new phase is about to begin. In fact, it seems that 2004 will bring this into my life somehow. The vibrations of the year will impact how I manifest. 2003 was characterized by transiting Pluto trine to my natal Sun for most of the year, including three directs the final of which occurs on 11/11 if memory serves me. This triggered all the ninth house written expression and publishing that has occurred this year. That wasn't all ... there were also several other outer planet transits to spice up the year. The body of writing provides a basis for assessing if and how these factors impacted the character of the expression. That might make for an interesting case study. That is one of the good things about capturing all of this in the manner that I do. There is a substantial record of the experiences of an aware being coming to grips with its own awareness and its spiritual nature.

At this point, there is no sense that this will let up anytime soon. It is as if I have tapped an artesian well. It doesn't take any effort on my part to pump the effort from source ... it just flows out naturally. So, this is not really work. It is an endeavor of love that I engage in. It is curious that I travel the length of Artesia Blvd twice each week and live two blocks off of it. Artesia Blvd is also known as the 91 which for me is 78 + 13: Death Exalted. Lately, it has become much more important to share the results of that endeavor with others. I have been posting the expression to the WWW since 1995. But, that is not enough. That gets it in some people's hands but not necessarily the right people's hands. How do I know that? Because it has not resulted in any close relationships yet. It seems that one of the reasons for expressing in this manner is to open a major part of my life to others. The hope would be that there would be others that would be open to sharing in kind and establishing mutual cooperative endeavors. I look at all that spirit has done through me, and I can't help but wonder what glories could be if we were united to create a greater vessel for consciousness to express.

It is hard to be other than grandiose when I look at all that has been expressed through me since 1993. Spirit has been prolific. Yet, what is it all for? I have been the witness to it all. But, I am not aware of whom the material has reached and how it has impacted them. I trust that it has had some impact. My sense is that everything is done for a reason. This expression has come forth in the manner that it has for various reasons. One reason is to provide me with the experiences and information that I needed to grow and develop into who I have become. This includes the awakening experiences that have resulted. Everything in me says that is not the major reason for this expression. This is to be an example for others somehow. I am a wayshower. A major part of the way for me is what consciousness has been able to express in my life. We are spirit enfleshed already. We have been for so long as we have been incarnate. Though, it seems that few are truly in touch with the spiritual aspect of themselves. Here, intuition has a big part to play. It is our tie to source ... the one consciousness.

It would be helpful to get feedback on this expression. Does it move people? Does it help people? What could be done to make it more useful to those who encounter it? The expression naturally evolves to be more and more useful to me. But, that is not enough. I would have it impact others, and impact them deeply. Yet, I don't do anything in particular to make this so. I continue to express as I am moved to express ... as a stream of consciousness.

The stream of consciousness continues to flow forth and I anxiously await to see where it will lead. This is an endeavor of love for me. It captivates my heart and my soul as nothing else does in my life. I am privileged to be the one through whom all this comes. I get to experience firsthand the creative power of spirit operating in my life. This seems to be a rare thing, though it is becoming more and more common. I am grateful for all that I experience. There are some areas of my life that could use improvement ... but overall there is a sense that I am carrying out my mission and doing exactly what I need to do. The improvements are things that would enable me to enjoy the process of my life more. The journey is what it is all about.

What more can I do? It is difficult staying focused at work when this expression is so much more engrossing. Yet, I know that my job is still part of my path. There is something more that I can learn from it. And, it covers me financially until something else kicks in. I'm within weeks of completing my seventh year with this company. That is as long as I've worked anywhere. It has been an interesting seven years that included a three-month medical leave of absence in April through June of 1998. Overall the company is a good one to work for. The benefits are good and employees are treated well. But, there is no sense that I am rising up to reach anything close to my potential. I do what I do very well. But, that still comes primarily as an individual contributor. I haven't really reached a position of leadership ... so there is a whole side of skills that goes unused. This contributes to a sense of dissatisfaction. I know that there is more that I could be doing. I just don't know how to do it in the work environment. Similarly, in the Beyond Imagination expression, there is a sense that while I am doing a lot ... I could be doing far more. Though, here I seem to be far more in control of my destiny.

I don't consider myself a people person. I'm not the kind to chat and make idle conversation. I would prefer to deal deeply with others or not at all. Doing otherwise is a waste of my time as well as those with whom I deal. Given that preference and that belief, it is not surprising that I make so few contacts with others. Though, I have literally expressed volumes. Those words introduce you to who I am and the world in which I live. If you like what you see and find it of utility, do initiate contact by introducing yourself. My name below has a link by which to e-mail me. You'll find that I am quite approachable and responsive ... especially when it comes to the topics of consciousness and spirit in expression. Then again, everything is spirit in expression, so that's a broad topic. I am curious as to how others experience consciousness in their lives. Is it similar to or different than my own experience. I've focused so heavily on my own reality and my own experience for so long that I have little to no insight into others. Perhaps it is time to change this focus. It needs to change if I am going to develop close relationships in my life. However it is tough to make the leap from what you know to what you don't know even if it offers the potential for much good to come into my life and into the world. I look at all that has been expressed through me to date ... and can't help but think what might have been expressed if I were not so isolated from others. Then again, perhaps it was that very isolation that enabled me to express all of this. That doesn't mean that the isolation has to continue. My experience on Sunday was a case in point. There was an exchange of energy of great mutual benefit. It allowed me to see that indeed there are others worthy of communicating with who have different experiences than my own ... but who are just as much into metaphysics and spiritual development as I am. I was starting to get a bit of a superiority complex. This was just what I needed to tone that down. Now, how do I find others with whom to interact in a similar fashion and preferably on a continual basis? That is what I want in my life. That is the key thing that is missing.

I also desire to make my spiritual work, my life's work. Hmm ... it already is. There is nothing that says that your life's work will also be your means of earning a living. Though, it would sure be nice if it were. It seems that I could accomplish so much more if this were a fulltime rather than a part time endeavor. What would it take to manifest that? What would it take to be able to do what I love to do on a fulltime basis? The desire is one thing. But, something more is needed. In particular, we need opportunity. We have a product to sell in the Beyond Imagination books. Further, there must be some kind of service that we could offer that would be of value to people. At this point, I don't know what that is. But, there must be something. All of this intuitive expression has surely trained me to do something. I've been moved to set a price for this expression at $1 per word. Somehow, it seems that such a price will indeed be paid. Allowing the expression to pour forth is like putting money into the bank. Every word gets credited. When the money will be received physically and made accessible to me is a different matter. It seems that this is not something to be forced. Everything in its proper season. It will happen when the time is right for it to happen. With all of the expression in the past ten years, there is a big positive balance. We are past the 3 million words point and still growing by 1-2 thousand nearly every day. That is a lot of expression. Even if I subtract what I have been paid to date, we are still close to 2 million short of being compensated fairly. That is OK. I have what I need. I live comfortably overall. A bigger house and some better things might be nice ... but it is not clear that they would make me happier. How much space do two people and three dogs really need? What I do need is people with whom to relate to. This doesn't have to cost anything except time. Time is a precious commodity. But, I would consider such a use of my time to be an investment toward a better future. There is only so much fulfillment that I can derive from this expression. At some point what matters is how we impact others. I can impact others through my words and through my presence. I haven't had the opportunity to do much of the later, and it seems high time that I did.

The march toward a better future starts with the changes that we make here and now in the present moment. What am I willing to do differently to make myself more approachable and accessible so that I can draw people into my life? There is no doubt about it, that is what I want to do right now. The first answer that comes to mind is a scary one ... whatever it takes. But, that is almost always the right answer. If we really want something, we need to be willing to do whatever it takes to get it. As a spiritually focused being, this will be consistent with whom that I am. But, it will be different than I have been used to experiencing or expressing. That is OK. It is time for something new. It will be interesting to see what the new year brings. There is a sense that major changes are in store not only for me personally but for Beyond Imagination and for all those whose lives I am able to touch. Yes, that is expecting a lot. And yes, it is audacious and grandiose of me to believe this. But, I believe it nevertheless. I will make a difference ... preferably a major difference for many, perhaps even for the world. Yes, this is what I demand from myself. I can be very demanding. Part of that comes from knowing what I am capable of. That, and not being willing to accept less from myself. Though, I'm still not doing all that I can do even under my present circumstances. Further, I have created these circumstances for a reason. One reason that I can think of is to enable me to have time to express in the manner that I do. Another is to experience sufficient dissatisfaction to move me to do something.

Once again we are drawn here to express ... as we are so often of late. We're still on a consecutive streak for the month. Though a business trip next week may change that unless I choose to express longhand. That is always a possibility. But, it is much slower and harder to do than to type. However, there is a heightened need to express, so I just may overcome the obstacles. We're only talking about two days. We can put up with anything for two days. I also have a vacation planned for early November, but I should be able to take my laptop with me since it is a driving trip and the days have already become noticeably shorter. Fall is definitely upon us. Though, the temperatures in Southern California are still reminiscent of summer.

So, what would come forth today? Why is it necessary to express each day? There is a sense that when we don't express, we block the flow and create a backlog of sorts. It then takes significant effort to remove the backlog and express everything that has been held back. When we express regularly the expression is more fluid and not as hurried. We can take our time allowing it to come forth. It seems that regardless, what needs to be expressed will be expressed. That seems to be a matter of fate, not of choice. Though I freely choose to engage in this expression. This is not forced upon me. I am moved to do it. But that is not from any external force but from a source that comes from within. One can do far worse than to serve spirit. Ultimately, this is the one choice that matters most. Though serving spirit by serving others is something that we must do in our own way. This is the highest endeavor that we can engage in. It requires that which is grandest within us. We will know when we are doing it. Our lives will click, they will work in ways that are harmonious. We will be able to fully express whom that we are. These are BIG things. They are things that will make a major difference in the world, especially if many of us are doing them. How many is many? I don't know, but it takes far less that a majority to make a big difference. How can that be? How can an outnumbered force overcome a much greater force? The trick comes from the synergy involved when a focused group is formed. When the time is right, the spiritual force will be unleashed and nothing in its way will be able to stop it.

How can I know the things that I know? How can the bulk of this stream of consciousness be expressed in the declarative? What is this thing that I call source from which this material springs? These are important questions, but do I really need to know the answers? Is it not enough to simply do what I am moved to do and be aware of that? Is it not enough to experience and express whom that I AM? Some things are not meant to be explained or even known. These may well be some of them. That doesn't mean we can't use the energies and the abilities to create things in the world. In fact, we will be surprised at just how much we can create if we apply ourselves diligently. What I have been able to express is but one example. You too can do these things. Perhaps your forte is not writing ... but there is something that you can do well that is of utility to others. Ultimately it is what we share that is of utility to others that matters most. That is how we make progress in any area of endeavor ... we share. We share of whom that we are, we share of what we know, we share of what we have experienced ... as much as we can. There is always something to share, and someone or some group to share it with. We just have to be ourselves and be open to the opportunities that present themselves.

Why am I so tired lately? I can barely keep my eyes open at times. I get enough sleep, close to 8 hours per day ... and even more on weekends. Why is that not enough? Is there something about this expression that drains my batteries so to speak? Struggling to stay awake is hard work. Hmm ... the suggestion is that struggling to stay aware is hard work as well. What can I do to correct this? It seems that this is driven by some sort of imbalance. It is getting bad enough that I need to do something about it. I'm not sure what yet, but I sense that I will be finding out soon somehow. Generally, when I become interested enough in something to ask questions the answers are forthcoming. Occasionally, the answers come even before the questions. I can trust that one way or another I will come to know what I need to know when I need to know it. Some things just can't be rushed. We need to be patient and allow them to manifest in their due time.

Celine Dion sings A New Day has Come. I've been hearing/noticing that song more frequently of late. I typically hear it several times per day, "Let it shatter the walls for a new Sun/Son". I still don't know how to interpret that line. It is repeated around half a dozen times in the course of the song. It strikes me as being very important ... even though I don't know the meaning. That is not unusual. There are many things that strike me as being important ... without my having a clue as to why. Many of the numbers that I see are like that. It takes effort to pull the meaning out of the symbol systems in our life. My sense is that much of the meaning is innate. It is something that we feel directly. However, when we are attempting to be more aware ... it is important to make this process more conscious. Ultimately, we are able to choose what things mean to us. It is more effective doing this when we know the languages of the symbol systems. That allows them and spirit to reveal to us the information that we need to be able to make good choices in our lives. Good choices are those that benefit ourselves and others. It is very important that we consider the impact on others in our decisions. The best decisions are those that support both the individual and the collective.

What would I do next? I'm going to have to do something to make my work more exciting. Fighting to stay awake just doesn't cut it. I need to be challenged more. I need to be doing things that use more of my talents. How do I do that? How do I restructure what I am doing so that coming to work becomes more of a joy than a chore that I have to do to pay the bills? To some degree, I feel trapped by it all. Yet, at the same time, I know that I am free at heart ... and that my spiritual liberation is close at hand. I just don't know how close. Are we talking weeks, months, or years? I just don't know. It will happen when it happens. Until then, all that I can do is what I am moved to do. I am suffering from a sort of self-imposed isolation. I can change that. I can restructure my working relationships with others. This is a matter of choice that is well within my authority. I just need to choose to work differently and engage with others more, rather than working so independently. Though, there is something to be said for independence. It frees me to do a lot, not being bogged down by the inefficiencies inherent in most groups that I have experienced to date. Though, it does not have to be that way. There is the potential for synergy to arise in groups. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to arise very often yet.

Yes, big changes are needed, and I sense they are in store. It is a matter of accepting them and allowing them to happen. I have no sense that I need to do anything in particular to make them happen. The guidance remains: do as you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. That has been consistent for many years. It doesn't help me to know what I must do in advance. But it assures me that what I need in the moment will be given to me in the moment ... even if that is the inner push to do something. For many years, I have lived my life in the moment. I had no need for plans. There were no goals or objectives that I was trying to reach. There still aren't for the most part. I am what I am. I express what I express. If you like it and it serves you, great. If not, find somewhere else to spend your time and energy. I can only be the best that I can be. I can only express what spirit is able to bring forth through me. Since 1993, that has been a lot ... but particularly since the beginning of 2002. Is the expression of utility to others? You tell me. I know that it is beneficial to me, and I have to believe that it would benefit others. But only you can determine how it impacts you.

It still amazes me that I can speak in this manner, that all of this could come forth through me. Yet here it is. There is no denying it. We have millions of words to attest to the process. This is a stream of consciousness expression. You are seeing it uncut and unedited except for some spell-checking. This is how I've been moved to express for many years. There is no going back. The expression transforms me into more than I was before. My awareness continues to increase to account for all that I experience. Part of what I experience is observing myself observing this expression happening. I am aware that I am watching myself do all of this. I don't know how many people are actively aware of observing what they do. My sense is that it is few ... that this is enlightened behavior. How do I find others who are aware and aware of being aware? Perhaps by sharing our experiences in this area, we can all become more. And further, maybe we can find ways to work together to manifest whole new expressions of consciousness. My sense is that many can do far more than any individual can do. And further, organized properly, many might be able to do far more than the sum of what the individuals could do alone.

So, how do I find others with whom to share my life? In particular, I'm looking for kindred spirits ... those who might be part of my spiritual family. If you feel something from this expression, and sense any sort of connection ... please take the time to write and introduce yourself so that we can see where it might lead. I am open to exploring what connections we might have and what endeavors we might work on together. I may not have a lot of free time. But, the time that I do have is my own and I am free to do what I will with much of it. Also, I am open to shifting the focus of my energies from what I do now to something else that I find to be more in line with carrying out my mission. Here, any ideas you may have as to what we can do together are welcome. I won't necessarily agree with all of them ... but I'm sure we can find something cooperative to do if we remain open. Cooperative interdependence is the way of the future. It is time that we start to make it the way of the now, too.

We continue to come here to express. Day after day we come here, drawn by a force that we cannot resist. This expression is of great importance to us. It defines us. It enables us to find out whom that we are. Here is where we touch the magic. Here is where we creatively express in a manner that demonstrates what we are capable of when we allow spirit to work through us. What more could we ask for? We have been given so much. It is only fair that we find a way to use this in a manner that serves others. Does this expression do that? That is an important question to ask. But, how am I to know the answer. My sense is that there is much that has been expressed through me in the Beyond Imagination material that is of utility to many. However, that is not based on any evidence that came from those who were served or found the material useful. Thus far, I only know what the material has done for me and at most a handful of others. And, even for these, I only know that they found particularly works worthy of providing feedback. I am still amazed by how little feedback has come as a result of this expression. I expected to impact far more people by now and in a way such that they would be moved to initiate contact. But that has not occurred. Further, I have no way of know if it will occur soon or not. All that I know is that if it is meant to be, it will be. I can be assured of that.

Does that mean that I should stop and reassess what has been expressed to date? No, I don't think that it does. What has been expressed is what could be expressed. I have no regrets about that. In fact, I take pride in both the quantity and quality of the expression to date. This is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, it goes into things beyond what I know. That is OK, spirit joins us in this expression and she knows far more about what she is doing than I do. That is a good thing. If it were up to me alone, it is doubtful that any of this would have been expressed. Though, I would have had to do something with my newfound awareness since 1993. And, writing is one of the things that I do best. It is fitting that spirit would use this particular talent in this way. Further, I have been interested in the nature of consciousness for some time. How else to better find out of this nature than directly through an extensive stream of consciousness expression? What more can I say? Spirit knows how best to utilize all of the resources that she is given. She doesn't take, however. She waits for us to volunteer our services. To play in this game we must cooperate and volunteer to serve. These are high-level behaviors that many do not appear ready to adopt. That is OK. We only need enough to keep the plan of spirit unfolding in the world. Almost by definition, however many there are at any given time is enough. Those of us that are aware have our parts to play in the grand spiritual drama that is unfolding. The changing of an Age is a very important time. They only come every two millennia and only repeat every twenty five millennia. That is way beyond anything that we have in our recorded history. So, there is no precedent for this change from the Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age.

So, what is in store for the times immediately ahead? I ask that ... but I don't really expect an answer other than what is revealed directly in the moment. My life is to be lived in the moment. Some people are able to plan things, but that has never been my way. I need to seize the moment and do those things that are mine to do as soon as I realize what they are. That can make for a challenging life. One never really knows what to expect next. However, there is a sense of accomplishment in being able to achieve what I have been able to achieve. No, it is not all that I can do yet ... or even the best that I can do. But, it is good enough for the circumstances and the state that I am presently in. That doesn't mean that I can rest on past achievements. Time marches ever onward, and with it comes the need to do things that matter, things that make a difference in the lives of others and in the world. This doesn't happen by accident, it happens by deliberate choice on our part. It is for us to choose what we will do. Note, I did not say plan ... though many need to do that as well. We create reality by what we choose to do, not what we plan to do. In the end, it is what we do that makes the difference. So, what am I moved to do? First, I am moved to express here as I do. Second, I await guidance from consciousness as to what to do next. I am ready to act ... I just need to be moved. Hmm ... is that limiting my expression in some way. Do I need to wait to be moved before I choose to take action? Is it not enough that I am an aware being and can therefore trust what I know to be right for me to do? I haven't asked that question in that way before. Indeed, I can be more spontaneous in how I live my life. That will give me the opportunity to meet different people than I have to date ... in particular, the very people that I say that I want in my life.

How can I know this? I just do. There is something within me that know that this is how life works. It is not something that I have been told or that I have read. It is something that I have realized. How many things in my life are like this? How many things do I just know? Some might say that these are beliefs that I hold. But, that is not how I experience them. I can play with my beliefs. I can believe them or not believe them as I will and experience reality in accord with my choices. Knowingness is not like that. It does not involve choice. That is not quite right, I can choose not to accept the knowingness and choose to believe otherwise. This is not advised. But, it is a choice that we have. It is far better if we base our lives and our choices on truth. There is plenty of room for beliefs in our life. We don't have to use them in ways that are ineffective or counterproductive. How do we develop this inner knowingness? That, I don't really know. This is something that I have had since I was a kid. It is something that I could always count on. I don't remember having to do anything to develop it or to bring it out. It was just there. My sense is that this sense is inside of each of us. We just need to connect to our inner self.

Yesterday, something happened to my left foot. I got up from my chair in the late afternoon and it was so painful that I could barely walk or limp as it were. I don't remember doing anything to sprain or aggravate it. My chiropractor could not do much for it. He though that it might be gout. I guess decades of poor eating habits have finally had their effect. The excessive weight doesn't help as well ... making each step excruciating. I'm used to being in tolerably good health. Or I have been most of my life. Being in pain is definitely not good for the soul. Though, it is fine as I sit here. I create my own reality ... that includes my present condition. It seems that this is a wake up call from myself to myself to tell me that I cannot continue to live as I have. That means new eating habits. No red meat, actually no meat at all for awhile. That means that I need to find vegetarian alternatives to replace my current ways. That could be tough, but it can't be as bad as barely being able to walk. Why did I need this in my life right now? This is the second time my body has failed me in the past seven years, The first time I had an uncontrollable cough that was so bad that I couldn't sleep for nearly a week. I didn't really know why I needed to experience that either. Now, there are still chores that I need to do that require me to be mobile. I don't know that I would call myself that at this time.

I was able to make it to the post office and send in five books to the Copyright Office. All of them were already published. I had just been a little negligent in filling out the forms and sending the packages out. That is OK. It can take up to a year for the process anyway ... so there was no real sense of urgency.

What next? Clearly, I need to do something about my health. Limping is definitely not how I picture myself. How am I to soar in consciousness if I am imprisoned by such conditions in flesh? Physical health is important to spiritual well being. While we are incarnate, we cannot escape being physical. Nor is it desired that we do so. In consciousness, we are free to go where we will despite the restrictions of the physical. However, there is something to be said about being in the body too. It is not an either/or situation ... we can experience both. In fact, the health of the body leads to the health or the mind which in turn enables spirit to express more fully through us. How do I heal myself. Given that I chose this condition, surely there is a way out as well. I don't know enough about the body to know, at least not yet, But, I can find out. My wife knows a lot about this area. I can enlist her help. The bottom line is commitment to a lifestyle change. I don't know how long it will take or that to take effect. My hope is soon. I don't really like pain ... especially intense pain. Putting close to 240 pounds on a sore foot is not conducive to pain free living. There is nothing like illness to bring us back to living in the physical.

Enough of all the talk of pain and of the physical. We come here to soar as far as consciousness can take us. We've been doing this for over ten years through a couple of small books, Notes, and now Musings. One more week and we have completed 22 months of intense expression. That is definitely a record. In fact, each day is a new record. We haven't missed a day yet this month. At our present rate of expression, we are unlikely to do so. For the most part, I am in control of this. I choose to make time each day to allow this expression to come forth. I don't judge it. I simple allow the stream of consciousness to go where it will ... trusting in the process that what needs to be expressed will be expressed. To some degree, it is out of my hands. Yet, from another perspective it is all coming forth through me. Because of this, I have an active role in the process even though I am not consciously aware of what that might be. Spirit knows what she is doing and gentle brings me along. In the process of experiencing this communication, I become more aware of whom that I am and more aware of how spirit operates. You would think that after ten years and literally several million words, I would have become an expert by now. But such is not the case. Everyday, with every expression I learn more. Am I able to communicate what I learn? That is a good question. Communication is a two way exchange. I haven't experienced doing much of this. It is about time for that to change. I have a message which needs to be heard, which needs to be communicated. Perhaps the millions of words expressed to date are not the appropriate format for that message. I needed to see them and some number of people seem to be reaching them, but we don't really have a succinct statement of what Beyond Imagination is all about. There are a variety of top level words here and there ,,, but we could make it easier. The Beyond Imagination book comes closest to doing this. It has been available at the Beyond Imagination site since the Summer of 1995. It is a major part of the published book Beyond Imagination: The Early Works. It will be interesting to see if people are moved to buy it.

Change ... it seems that massive change is on the immediate horizon. However, other than the things that I've spoken of above that are self-chosen, I don't have any insight as to what is in store. Yet, I am anxious anyway. I know that spirit is doing her thing behind the scenes and that the reality that I experience is exactly what I need at this time. I may not know why or how ... but I trust that this is the case. It seems that I have some work to do in the area of beliefs about the importance of the physical in our lives. For so long, I have simply overlooked it ... considering it to be a poor stepchild to the spiritual. But, we are spirit in flesh ... and we are enfleshed for a reason, primarily because that is the only way to be incarnate and experience the great gift of physical life.

Spent most of the day resting or sleeping to give my foot time to heal. It seems to be working. It is a lot less painful than it was yesterday. But, I barely walked at all today ... just a brief distance to the dentist's office and back from the closest parking spot. We'll see how it feels tomorrow before we decide to go to the doctor or not. I don't like going if I don't have to. And, if the pain is gone I don't know what good the doctor might do.

Today I was a vegetarian. I didn't have any meat at all. My chiropractor said to avoid red meat and pork. That is a big shift in my diet. We'll see how long I can stick to it. However, usually if I set my mind, heart, and soul on something ... it will be done. That has been my experience to date anyway. Back in the Summer of 1993, I became a vegetarian for a few weeks during one of my periods of intense mania/soaring. But eventually I came down and went back to my old ways. Will that be the same this time? The difference is that this time a health problem is driving the change. The problem isn't going to go away unless I do something. In this case, something pretty radical. That is OK, it is high time that I invested some attention and energy towards my health. Until the foot recovers, exercise options are somewhat limited. In fact, I don't offhand know of any. Yet there must be others who have experienced similar problems, maybe not due to gout, but in some way hurting a foot or a leg. Surely there are exercise machines that permit such people to exercise aerobically,

Cherry juice is supposed to be one of the best things for gout. I've had so much of it today that I nearly drowned in it. The first large cup was good. However, by the third large cup it is starting to get old. However, we do what we must. Anything beats the pain of walking that we experienced all day yesterday. I still can't believe that it came on as suddenly as it did. I don't remember doing anything to overly stretch or strain it. I just got up from my desk in the late afternoon and it was very sore making it painful to walk. One would have thought that there might be some warning. Also, the pain was on the outer middle part of the left foot, not typically a place you would expect to sprain. Also, that part of the foot was hot to the touch, and I was running a fever. Those symptoms have receded today. Though I'm still overly susceptible to temperature ... either too hot or too cold.

Why did I need to experience this now? It seems that it is a wake up call of sorts to do something about my health and my physical life. I need to heed that call and do something. And, this time not something temporary ... something permanent. Clearly I can do that. Of that, there is no doubt. I create my own reality. I created this condition and I can overcome it. The thought of giving up so many foods that I love is not pleasant. But, I've had forty-five years to eat them. That is enough. Besides, I may just come to like these new foods even better. You might say that in this area I have been living out of harmony with nature for several decades. One can only do that for so long before something breaks. Now, I've had two major times where my mind broke and two times where my body broke. Each time before, I have recovered ... though the mental breaks took quite awhile to fix. Perhaps we never really recover from these, we make the best of our newfound awareness and go on. In my case, the jumps in the level of awareness were large. However, it is not easy to explain them to those who have not experienced them. And to those who have experienced them, no explanation is necessary. Awareness is a one way thing. One is either aware of not. And, if you are, it is obvious. If you have to think about it ... you are not. Awareness is not a mind thing, it is a consciousness thing. You have to go beyond mind to reach it.

Consciousness is everything. Consciousness is how spirit interfaces with us. We are consciousness in flesh, first and foremost. It helps if we keep that in mind. I have said man times that this is primarily a stream of consciousness expression. Even when personal stuff such as the above comes forth, I don't really feel that I am generating it. There is something that I call source that I tap via my intuition, that does all of this. Yes, it pulls details from my life at times. Generally that is for illustration. Since I live such a solitary life, the only experiences she has to pull from are my own. For the most part, that means that I cannot express something until I realize it ... until I make it real for me. Life is a process of continually realizing more and more. However, it seems that many people are not really engaged in the process. They have gotten stuck in their ways and have stopped growing. For me, to stop growing is to die. You might think this to be true universally ... but it doesn't appear to be. There are many who are happy to just enjoy life and be who they have become. We never know how long this will last. I spent 20 years preparing for a day of awakening and had no clue that such a day would even come. I concentrated on the metaphysics that captivated my soul. But, I was doing it primarily in my head, even while I recognized its truth in my heart. The mind is a useful tool but a poor master. We need to get our ultimate directions from spirit.

Another day of rest. Though I was able to walk enough to mow the lawn. It was a bit of a challenge, but with few exceptions there was no pain involved. I guess that means that something is working. If it really was gout, it could be the heavy dosage of cherry juice and two helpings of strawberries that made such a miraculous difference. If it was a sprain, I don't understand how staying off it for one day could make much difference. It seems that it would have taken much longer to heal.

I'm not quite back to normal, but I'm mobile anyway. Though stairs may be a challenge. I have stairs to negotiate both at my place in Redondo Beach and at my work. I'll just have to take it slowly. Health is definitely important. You never know how important until you are ailing in some manner. What is the purpose of physical pain in our lives? What does it have to teach us? My sense is that it comes as a wake up call that it is time to change our ways somehow. For me, I think that means moving to a primarily vegetarian diet with occasional fish or white meat chicken/turkey thrown in ... say twice a week at most. We'll see how I do on that and then decide what to do next. Sodas are out for good. That could be a bit of a hardship, but I know they are not good for me. Perhaps its time to try water.

I don't consider these things limitations. I consider them adjustments in lifestyle that I need to make and choose to make. My wife would say "it's about time". I've been avoiding doing anything in this area for far too long. That is OK. Better now than never. And, it seems that the adjustments are noticeable very quickly. This isn't something that I have to work at forever to see change manifest. This is especially true since we are making relatively big adjustments. In response, we should see relatively big impacts especially in terms of better health. We'll know it when we feel it. I've already gone over 48 hours without meat. However, I'll probably get a BBQ chicken salad for dinner tonight. That doesn't qualify as vegetarian. But, it has no red meat or pork either. Right now, I have no compelling reason to be wholly vegetarian. Primarily vegetarian is good enough. There is something about the middle way. Nothing to extremes. Then again, my life has not been that way. My bipolar condition takes me to extremes of consciousness. And, I do love to soar. I've been doing it for over ten years now. That is quite a lot of practice. It is enough time to get good at something. Perhaps not enough time to master it ... but often good is good enough to use it. Mastership will come in due time if we are diligent in our practice. Though, it is important that we are practicing the right things. That is where teachers come into the picture. In the spiritual side of my life, I have not had any teachers other than consciousness herself. I wonder why that is? I wonder why there have been no physical teachers. There is a saying in the East ... "when the student is ready, the master will appear". Consciousness appeared in my life suddenly in 1993. However, there have been no physical or nonphysical masters that took me on as a student. At least, none that I am consciously aware of. I don't know what happens in my sleep, however, so who knows? Perhaps such training is taking place on other than conscious levels of