BEYOND
IMAGINATION
2003
Musings - Vol II
by
INTRODUCTION
Namaste!
Welcome to my world!
On these pages you will find a stream of consciousness
expression … one
that I have actively been participating in for just over a decade. The snapshot here comes from the period from
May through August of 2003. As you’ll
see, it was quite a productive period of time for this expression. The musings occurred nearly daily … 109 times
in 123 days in fact. The expression
comes to roughly 450 pages and just over 176,000 words.
Yes, that is a lot for one-third of a
year. But, what can I say?
That is what I was moved to express, and what
I am moved to share.
My hope is that you find
this mind-expanding or better yet
consciousness-expanding. It should cause
you to stretch outside of the normal confines of your consciousness
into a
wonderful new domain. If it does, I have
done my job well. There is a reason that
spirit expresses through me in the manner that she does.
This is to be an example of what is possible
for you to experience as well. By
following this record of my stream of consciousness, you get to taste a
sample
of what is possible. What I can do, you
can do also. No, not necessarily in the
same manner. Written expression may not
be your forte. But, there is some manner
of creative expression that is right for you.
This is something you will have to find for yourself. Some of this material may provide you with
some insight as to where to look. By all
means use whatever parts of it you find applicable and useful to your
life. Only you will know what these
are. Not everything is for
everyone. But there is enough variety in
this expression that there is probably something for everyone.
These are the Musings
of a Spiritual Warrior. I
don’t know how to prepare you for what they
convey other than to have you experience them directly.
They come from a source inside of me. Even
after a decade, I still don’t know if
this source is a part of me or not. It
is simply there. The words just appear
in my mind. I don’t plan any of this
communication, I simply allow it to manifest through me.
The expression is
ordered by day, as it was expressed. The
only editing was some spell checking and
minor grammar correction. It seemed that
the date ordering of the material was appropriate somehow … at least
for this
product.
There are two major
sections in what follows. The first
section has the day by day musings
as they came forth from May through August of 2003.
It covers the first 450 or so pages. The
second section is a selection of best
quotes from this expression. These are
literally what I consider to be the gems of what came forth from
consciousness during this time. 660
passages were selected for this section, with the date ordering
remaining
intact.
I hope that you enjoy
what you find here. More than that, I hope
that it helps you to
awaken to see parts of yourself that you never knew you never knew. One challenge from all of this is for you to
expand your reality framework to account for the fact that an
expression such
as this could continue to come forth through me in the manner that it
did in
such a short period of time at the middle of 2003.
It is possible. It did happen. That, in itself, says a lot about the
creativity
of consciousness as she expresses through us.
Yet, what I can do, you can do also.
I came as a wayshower. Part of
showing the way for me is sharing the fruits of what my consciousness
is able
to produce. That is what I do at my
Beyond Imagination website:
http://www.redshift.com/~beyond
And, that is what I do
here in the pages that follow. I hope that
they bring to you some fraction
of the joy and wonder they have brought into my life.
This work is titled as
it is in anticipation that there
will be at least one sequel to follow in the days ahead this year. Then again, that depends on how spirit
continues to express in my life in the months ahead.
At this time, there is every indication that
we are in for a very prolific year. But,
all that we can do is wait and see … and continue to express as we are
moved to
express.
Something that came
forth in January of 1996 is
particularly appropriate here:
I come to be gently
caressed by
consciousness. Yes, I sing her name a
lot. She is on my mind incessantly. It is through her that I came to life, and
through her that I will live the role that I am meant to live.
What is she? I cannot say.
But, she is older than time and wiser than any who have walked
clothed
in flesh. She speaks through us
all. Yeah, she is the spirit within us
all – always there to guide us if only we had the sense to listen to
her.
She is the ONE, though
she be
expressed as many. She is called by many
names, though most are not aware of her existence.
She is greater than the Gods, though in ways
that are beyond imagining. The poets
have known her as the muse, and she was indeed
responsible
for their inspiration.
She has existed since
the beginning
of time, and even before that. Her face
can be found everywhere throughout the world, yet where there is
beauty, doth
she shine most brightly.
It is in this sense that
all of this expression comes forth
as musings from the source
within me
herself.
Enjoy! Be Happy
and Create Well!
I
AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!
LOVE,
Feel free to contact me
if you relate strongly to this
material or you have feedback to provide.
I’m looking for kindred spirits to help co-create the
foundations for a
new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.
1800 Harper Av, Redondo Beach, CA 90278
beyond@redshift.com
--- MAY ---
1 May 2003
Wow, the first of May already. Statistics for the first third of the year were 111 musings in 120 days. That is quite impressive. That makes this number 112 for the year. 112 is the 1000 completion of 888. This is curious because my bill at the grocery store yesterday came to $8.88. I don't remember that ever happening before. My change for a $20 came to $11.12. This is of the same genre as 112. It is the 10000 completion of 8888. There is some significance in this. There is some reason that this is coming up right now. I may not know exactly what it is, but there is a sense of completion somehow. I was able to do the compilation of musings for April and add these to the January to March 2003 musings. That should allow me to finish the first pass at 2003 Musings - Vol I tomorrow. I'll still need to do a couple of spell check and grammar check passes ... but the major work will be complete. It came in at just over 450 pages in 5.5" x 8.5" format. I need to add an introduction and a forward, and am still considering a section of best quotes at the end but these are minor tasks compared to what is already accomplished. Then again, going through the entire set of musings to select the best quotes may be a challenge. However, it is a challenge that I consider to be worth the effort. It is like mining for precious gems. What we find is spectacular.
Work kept me very late tonight. I didn't get home until nearly 9:00 PM. It was 10:00 PM by the time I got started on this expression. I'm still off to a slow start. I don't know whether it will pick up or not. I guess we will see soon enough. The next hour or so will bring what it brings. Whatever that is, by definition, must be enough ... because that is all there is. All that I can do is give all that I am to this expression. That is an interesting way to put things. Some people give all that they are to their family, or to their relationships, or to their job, or to their community, or to their church, or to some combination of these. Not me. My focus is almost like a laser ... here in this expression. What matters to me is the expression of spirit in flesh. And, for me, that is what these words are all about. I realize that this is my way, not the way. This happens to be what works for me. Given the quantity and quality of this expression, it seems that this way works quite well for me. Utility is the key criteria for any path. Use what works. Use what has value to you and ignore the rest. Each of us must ultimately find our own path. There are some roads that have been created that we can follow if we so choose between established destinations. But, the interesting places are in the unknown realms of consciousness ... at least, the most interesting places for me. And, for those, there are no roads. There may be some paths and occasionally some markers left by others who have preceded us. However, typically our understanding is different than others ... so even though we have reached the same place, we are really not in the same state of mind or state of consciousness. Though, the states may be close enough that we can communicate with one another and relate what we have experienced.
How would I live my life if it were mine to live as I would live it? Would I live it any differently than I do at the present? If so, what is it that keeps me from making the changes now that align my life with the way that I would prefer for it to be? It is my life. It is my choices in the moment that determine the reality that I experience in the moment as it extends into the future. If I would change that future, I need to change the present choices. Reality creation happens here and now. We have the power to create any future we desire ... but we have to do it here and now. We have to want it badly enough to do what it takes to make it so. Wishful thinking is not sufficient. We are gods in flesh. We are the creators of our reality. It is time we starting acting as if we truly realized that this were so. That means taking personal responsibility for everything in our lives. Everything that happens to us does so because we have drawn it unto us, we have scripted it into our reality. Yes, everything. No fine print, no exceptions. However, be careful with this. When that reality involves others, we co-create it. So, what we experience occurs by mutual agreement. It is not solely our responsibility ... though we are responsible for our part in the co-creation.
Given that I am so isolated from the world, how do I find my place within society? For one thing the isolation has been self-imposed. That can be changed in a heartbeat. The very fact that you've opened up to share all of this on the WWW shows that you are not as isolated as you make yourself out to be. Though. I still liken Beyond Imagination to an unchartered island, which few have discovered and even fewer have explored. My hope is that this will change, and soon, and that people will be amazed by what they find. I know that I was. In fact, I still am ... even after a decade of expression. Hmm ... how does one bring visitors to an island? One needs to advertise the pleasures that the island offers to the visitor, and one needs a means of transportation. For Beyond Imagination, the transportation is easy ... first there is the internet, and soon there will be at least one and potentially more books. It wasn't so difficult to find my place within the work environment. Why should the larger context of society be any different? For one thing because it is a larger context and I don't understand my relationships to others within that context. In many cases it seems that this is because the relationships simply are not defined. We have no social contract between the individual and society for instance. That doesn't stop us from living our lives as individuals and relating to organizations within society. However, it seems this would be easier if we knew what to expect and what was expected of us in return.
What can we expect from life? Looking around, there is such a variety of experience that it is unclear that there is any easy answer to this. It seems that we can expect from life whatever we expect from life from the depth of our being. Life has this way of living up to our expectations ... and occasionally exceeding them. Notice, I said expectations not wishes. Many people wish for a lot of things that they do not expect that they will ever receive or experience. Expectancy is powerful. However, it must be based on a sound belief system. It does no good to strongly expect something to happen that you believe to be impossible. When we combine expectancy, beliefs, and acting as if we have covered all of the bases. I believe it can happen, I expect it to happen, and I act as if it has already happened. This accompanied by an attitude of gratitude goes a long way toward creating the reality of our dreams.
Why am I so moved to get the 2003
Musings -
Vol I book completed? It will probably be a few more weeks
before I
hear back from the publisher on Best Passages from 2002 Musings.
It doesn't make much sense to get a second book published before I see
how well
the first one does. Or does it? Is it important that the
book
sells? Part of me says yes ... this provides a way for the
universe to
pay me for this expression. However, another part of me says that
it
doesn't really matter. The expression was expressed because it
needed to
be expressed. I happened to be an available and willing vessel
through
whom it could be expressed. Yes, that makes me special. It
also
makes the expression special. But, we are all special in our own
ways. I just happen to have a talent for writing and spirit was
in need
of a scribe. It seems that I've had experience in this capacity
before. There is something about
If I wasn't doing this, what would I be doing with all of my spare time? I would probably be wasting a bunch of it watching television as I did for much of my life. This expression gives me a reason for living. It provides me with an opportunity to encounter the unknown on a daily basis and to creatively express whatever consciousness would bring forth each day. There is something wonderful in that, something miraculous. I am blessed to be chosen for this great privilege. I must have done something grand to deserve it. This is not your ordinary expression. Life is meant to be lived in an extraordinary manner. My life is anyway. And, my sense is that such is true for everyone. There is always a way to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. It is primarily a matter of attitude. Our life will be what we make of it. When we want it to be something different ... we need to make it be something different. This is always within our power to do. In fact, it is only within our power to do. No one can do it for us. This is something that we must do for ourselves.
2 May 2003
It is very late as we begin writing tonight, but we felt the need to express anyway. Another week and the draft of 2003 Musings - Vol I should be complete, well ahead of when I thought it would. But then, when I am moved to do something, I am moved to do it. That is especially true when it comes to this expression. I still have three more months of Best Quotes to select to complete the work but that is just a matter of putting in the time to cut away the grosser expression from the pure gems. Not that any of it is gross per se ... it is all spiritual expression. But, some expression is just more succinct and simply better than other expression. I don't know that I've ever read a book that did what I am doing ... followed the main body of material by a selection of best quotes from the same material. It makes sense to me. Quotes, especially the best quotes from the best minds of the ages have always given me inspiration. I find it curious that I come up with so many of them in my own expression. After all, who am I to know these things? Actually, that is the point ... it is not I that knows, at least not any part of me of which I am consciously aware. That is part of what makes all of this so fascinating. The quotable material comes through anyway.
Reality Creation 1010 in 5.5 x 8.5
format came in
at 87 pages. That is not quite enough for a book. However,
it is a
good start. If we combine it with Beyond Imagination: Foundations
for
Creating a
By their works shall ye know them. This is a year for bringing my works, the works of Beyond Imagination, to the public on a massive scale. It was not enough to bring forth the material and post it on the WWW. It seems that I need to formally publish the works and make them available in book form. Though, even at that, it is not clear how to get the word out that the works have been published. That is part of what remains to be done in the months ahead. It needs to be something we learn to do well for we will be doing a lot of it from what I can tell. There is something about this that feels right. The timing is right. The means is right. It is a matter of jumping in and doing it as well as I can. Yes, it will be foreign at first. Most new things are. But, there is a sense that I am meant to do this. I am meant to derive my subsistence from what I love doing ... and at the moment that is engaging in this expression.
Does what I have expressed provide enough insight into whom that I am to make it an interesting read? Does this expression serve people in some way? At the very least it provides some exercise for the consciousness. That alone makes it worth the price of admission as they say. I hope that what is expressed challenges you ... in particular, challenges your concepts of reality and spirituality. I know that this expression does that for me. It has since its beginnings in March of 1993. It continues to do so nearly every day to this day. I have to believe that what it does for me, it would do for others ... even though my interactions with others are so limited that I have no basis for assessing this. However, we are all spirit expressing in flesh. As such, there must be something in common at our core. But our outer shells are very different, and as a result the reality that we experience can be as different as night and day.
Consciousness has been expressing though me onto these pages for over ten years now. I find that amazing. However, what is most surprising is how little has resulted from all of this. Oh, there is a Beyond Imagination web site with thousands of pages of metaphysical expression. But, where are the works that come from all those words? What difference has the expression made in the world. Yes, some individuals have found some of the material and been moved by it. A few have even written to provide feedback. But, what organizations have been formed ... what endeavors have been begun ... what deeds have been done as a result of any of this? It seems that this is the stage that we have reached. We need to go beyond words, beyond imagination to actions that actually build the foundations for a better world. I took some feeble attempts at establishing a few foundations ... but they failed miserably and I wasn't moved to try again. It seems the times are different now and the energies are ripe for building foundations that failed before ... though we may have to make some adjustments, even major adjustments for them to succeed.
3 May 2003
Once again we come here to provide consciousness the opportunity to express as she will. We do this willingly. To be honest, we have nothing better to do with our time. This expression is that important ... or it seems that important to me anyway. Perhaps that is because I am to close to it. Clearly, this is not something that I am objective about. Consciousness by its very nature is subjective. It is something that we experience firsthand. Further, it is something that changes us as we experience it. We awaken from our slumbers. We become more and more aware with each new realization. That is what life is all about ... coming to realizations of whom that we are, and then applying this in some way of service in our world. How we choose to do this is up to us. Actually, so is whether we choose to do this. Some make it through their entire life without choosing to give. That is OK. They will get what is coming to them. The accounts will ultimately be balanced in full. "Never take more than you give" from The Lion King is wise council to all of us. This is how we create abundance on a massive scale. And where there is massive abundance, there is more than enough for everyone.
Was there anything in my background to suggest that I might be selected for the current role that I am playing? In particular, the role related to manifesting all that is Beyond Imagination? Not everyone becomes so highly interested in metaphysics at such an early age. For me, the beginning of the journey was around age 16. Can that really be nearly 30 years ago already? That is simply amazing that the time could have flown by so quickly ... especially the past 10 years since the expression began. That marked a completely new phase in my life. For just under 35 years, there was an inflow with me taking in things from the world. Then, suddenly there was an outflow. I was generating original material, not just repeating or rearranging what I had taken in. Actually, it is not clear I was doing it. More correctly, it was being done through me ... but it was an outflow nonetheless, one that has continued to this day. In fact, we're beginning the 17th month of nearly daily musings. If you would have told me that I would generate nearly 3 million words between my 35th and my 45th birthdays prior to 1992, I would have thought that you were nuts. I had dabbled a bit with writing and had started out with the intent of doing a journal on a few occasions but I never got very far. Yet, here I am, standing on the proverbial mountain of words. Yes, all three million of so of them. And, at the pace I am going, there could be another 350,000 or so before the end of the year. What does one do with that many words? What are they being expressed for? For the sheer joy of expression is a good reason ... but, it does not seem to be enough. Their should be a message of some kind that is conveyed. The reader should be experience a different state of consciousness as a result of coming into contact with this expression. Do these words do that? Do these words take the reader to a different state of consciousness or a different state of mind? Do they show the reader what is possible when we allow spirit to assume a major role in our lives?
It doesn't take much to be an information generator. One just has to allow it to happen. But, then again, I have a natural predisposition towards writing ... so perhaps have an unfair bias and advantage in this area. Though, it does take a great deal of confidence to open oneself and ones expression up for public consumption. Thus far, I have done that on the WWW. I am in the process of doing that via publishing a book. Will the world like what I have been moved by spirit to express. It seems we shall find that out one way or another shortly. If I am any judge of the quality of the material ... I would say that what we have to say is definitely of value. However, many may find the stream of consciousness format difficult to follow. It definitely does not come across as your normal book. But then, I am not your normal guy having your normal kinds of experiences. It is the strangeness and uniqueness of my experience that make the book interesting. In relating the nature of my reality, I challenge people's concepts of who they believe that they are and what they believe about the nature of reality and the nature of consciousness. I do this purposefully ... with the hope of helping people to awaken and become more aware of the grand spiritual beings that they are. At this time, I don't know how successful I am in doing this. I don't see the results that the expression has on anyone other than me. I desire for this to change, but it hasn't done so yet. At this point, I don't know for certain that it ever will.
For your eyes only, only for you ... you see what no one else can see. These words from the Sheena Easton song still haunt me for some reason. Is there a framework from which they could be true? The sense is that this is not to be taken literally. It does not mean that the entire expression that is Beyond Imagination is for my eyes only. So, what is it referring to then. What is it that I see that "no one else can see"? The immediate sense that came to mind was the spiritual reality that I find embedded in the physical world. It seems that much of that is there only for me to see. But can I really see things that no one else can see? Why not. I am a unique being in all of creation. No one has ever had the education, programming, and experiences that I have had to get me to this place in life. Note that everyone can make this exact same statement. We are all unique points of consciousness. Each of us see the world in our own way. This does not mean that we can't share what we see with others. They may not get it. But, they may get enough of it to relate to it. Sharing is important. We share what we have, we share what we experience, and we even share of whom that we are. This latter is the most important of all. For, whom that we are is more valuable than diamonds or gold. We are souls incarnate. We are spirit having a physical experience. It is very important that we remember this and behave accordingly. Under any circumstance, the choice that is optimal is always what spirit would choose to do. If we can do that most of the time, we will have lived our lives well. How do we know what that is? We just know ... it feels right deep within us. In this, we cannot deceive ourselves, try as we might.
To link or not to link ... now I remember one reason for limiting where I put links at my site. Links can change. People move their sites just as they move their residences. And, when they do, anything that had the old address will no longer work properly unless it is updated. That was another headache that I didn't want to deal with. It was enough to keep track of all of the pages that I was generating. I felt I could leave it to others to catalog sites by topic and area of interest. There are people who like doing that. There are scholars among us for whom research is fun. Of course, I would not count myself to be among them. But, I wouldn't expect scholars to have an open enough attitude to do what I do either. So, it seems we each have our contributions to make. We each do what we do best. In so doing, we provide the maximum benefit to society as well.
What would I label myself? Metaphysician and freethinker come to mind first and foremost. And then, of course, I am a writer ... a stream of consciousness writer, but a writer nonetheless. The written word is how I express. It is a natural extension of whom that I am somehow. Deep down, I know that I was made to do exactly what I am doing here and now. I was made to express in exactly this manner. This was not something that I had to learn how to do. On 5 March 1993, something clicked and I just started doing it. I was amazed and pleased by what came forth that very first day. The next occurrence wasn't until a week later. By August and September, I was literally out of my mind. I didn't have an explanation for how all of this could be coming forth through me. A decade later, it seems I am no closer to such an explanation. And, the volume of material coming through is at an all time high and has been for over 16 months. That is long enough that it is difficult to remember when I was not expressing on a regular basis. But, those times occurred as well, from May 98 to Dec 01 there was a major slump in this expression. It seems I needed a time out for awhile. Little did I know that I was resting for this.
How long can this expression continue at this pace? There doesn't seem to be anything that limits the duration ... except my ability to find the time to do it. So far, that has been relatively easy. It doesn't hurt that I make this the #1 priority in my life. Yes, it is that important to me. Keeping it at #1 makes sure that I will find a way to do it. I've set an informal goal of 2000 words per day with an absolute minimum of 1000 words per day when I'm particularly busy or when I engage in other Beyond Imagination work as well. Achieving these goals allows me to feel a sense of accomplishment each day. Further, I consider them to be reasonable goals. They don't force me to spend too much of my time on this endeavor ... but they do challenge me to expend what I consider to be enough for now. That too is changing. What was enough last year does not seem to be enough for 2003. There just seems to be more of a push to manifest something ... in particular, to generate real books that might be read by that part of the population that isn't internet savvy or hasn't made it to the Beyond Imagination site. However, generating the books is the easy part. Getting the word out is another matter. There, I still have little clue as to what I am to do. Here, the publisher offers some packages that may help. Though, with self-publishing, it is really up to me to market the books as well. That is OK. It is something new for me, but I believe that I am up to the challenge. The timing seems right somehow ... more right than it has ever been.
The 2003 Musings - Vol I draft minus the best quotes pages came to over 177,000 words. To reach $1 per word, I would need to sell 30,000 copies at retail price ... more if wholesale sales are involved. Is it reasonable to expect a book such as this to sell that many copies? Overall, that doesn't really seem like many. That is one copy for every 10,000 people in the country. That seems like a small audience to hit overall ... just one person out of every 10,000. But how do I let that person who would buy the book know it is there. I can advertise it at my website. The publisher does this as well. But that doesn't get us even close to all the people we are looking for. We have to go above and beyond these methods. I don't remember what Best Passages from 2002 Musings came in at. It seems like it was more like 150,000 words. That would translate to 25,000 copies. If only we could get to the endpoint without having to do all the legwork. But alas, it seems we need to be patient and do what it takes. We did not stipulate that the words had to be paid for in one year. Book sales could stretch over several years. Hmm ... that is another reason to have a stable of books out at the same time. One doesn't necessarily know which books will sell when. At about 1500 copies, I start to see some return for the investment that I make in producing the books. There is enough return to warrant the effort expended. However, that is nowhere near enough for me to live on. For that we need the kind of numbers we were speaking of above. Yes $1 per word ... I could live with that, even if the contract period were extended over my lifetime.
4 May 2003
One more time we come to this special place where consciousness would express through us. We try to do that each and every day ... and for the most part we succeed. Why is it necessary to muse so often? I don't really know. It just is. We are moved to express when we are moved to express. Right now, that is frequent. How long it will continue to be so, we have no way of knowing. However, it seems that I have entered a phase of my life where I am meant to manifest this expression on a major scale. It seems that we need to go one step further and manifest the stuff of which the expression speaks as well. That is a more difficult and challenging task. Yet, it seems to be one that I am called to do as well. There is a destiny that is playing itself out in my life right now, a spiritual destiny. I believe this to be true for each of us if we seriously examine our lives. It is for us to find what this destiny is for us, and then to do it to the best of our ability.
The expression is coming forth slower than normal tonight and we got a later start than usual. We'll have to see where consciousness carries us. This is generally a surprise for me. I never know what is going to come next. I just trust that whatever it is, I will be both pleased and amazed. Hmm ... how is it that so much could come forth in this manner? How is it that this stream of consciousness can run its course so readily? Why is it that this particular stream of consciousness is selected to be captured, recorded, and shared in this manner? What distinguishes this stream of consciousness from other streams of consciousness? There is a sense that this is indeed special somehow. I can see that, but will others be able to see that? ... significant numbers of others? Does it even matter? Is it not enough that I recognize the value of what I do and that I do what I am moved to do? But, I desire to do this on a full time basis. Hmm ... then why did I choose to spend my weekend in the manner that I did. Yes, I wrote, but not nearly as much as I could have. But then, I have a wife and two dogs ... and the only time they get of mine is on weekends at present. No, this is not ideal. However, it is the way that it has been for over 7 years. It is not clear how long it will continue ... though, at the very least it will be until I find a way to replace my current job with spiritual work.
What does it take to succeed in the world as a writer? Do I have what it takes? Every fiber of my being says yes I do. However, how do I manifest it and make such success a part of my reality? The first step seems to be to get books published ... yes books, it seems that one is not enough. Then, I need to do what it takes to promote and market the books so that those who are meant to benefit from the books can discover that they exist. This year is the year to make this happen. The signs suggest that this is a year of destiny for me. There is a strong sense that I have reached the 2184 = 888(16) state. It is showing up everywhere around me. Also, I had to buy a part at Home Depot today. The price of the part was $7.56, the two drivers of my triangle tarot readings from 1995. Overlapping, the triangles form the Star of David, the symbol for community. The sense that I got when I saw the price of the part was that now it was time to build my community. Hmm ... my community, that is an interesting way of putting it. Yet, indeed that is what it is, the community in which I would choose to live. That is asking a lot of one who has lived his life primarily as a hermit. Yet, it seems that those days are over, or at least numbered. I am meant to be a wayshower. And, I need to do that by more than pointing the way with my words. We need deeds to match the words. It is by our deeds that we make a difference in the world. Though, words can indeed motivate people to commit deeds. The right words in the right minds can incite people to commit great acts.
So, what would I do next? It seems that I am already on the course that I am meant to follow at the present time. We need to walk it awhile patiently and see where it leads. The bottom line as always is to do what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it ... knowing that it is spirit herself that is the motive force in our life. This works for me. My sense is that it can work for everyone. It just requires establishing a personal connection to source. I cannot do that for you, nor can anyone else. The best I can do is provide an example of how the process works for me. The hope is that you can use something similar to tap the source within you. You will know when you have found it. The experience is unmistakable. Further, if you sincerely seek, you will indeed find the source that you seek. That is just how the process works. Seek and ye shall find. Such has been the law since the beginning of time. However, we have to do our part and seek. Most fail to do this, or only do it half-heartedly, not really wanting to find what they seek. When we find source, our lives improve dramatically. Our attitudes change. Our reality improves. A whole new realm of possibility for what we can do with our life opens up before us. What we do with this is our choice … it is up to us. However, to carry out our spiritual destiny, we need to live up to our potential. Only we know when we are doing this.
5 May 2003
Cinco de Mayo. A five day in a five month in a five year. That makes for an interesting combination. We're off to a very late start once again. We spent a couple of hours selecting best quotes from February. We have several tasks related to Beyond Imagination that we are trying to do concurrently and there is only so much time available to pursue them. That's OK. What needs to get done will indeed get done. Such is the way that spirit works in my life.
I got some positive feedback on Reality Creation 1010 from someone today. I've probably had more feedback on that particular work than on any other at the Beyond Imagination site. It is still as thought provoking today as it was when it came forth during that 10 day period from 26 Dec 93 thru 4 Jan 94. There has been nothing comparable to that work that has come through since then. I don't know why. I was able to enter a very special state and manifest the entire work quickly. The work was roughly 50 pages of expression in 10 days. That is about twice my present average pace of expression. I remember putting in 5-6 hour days of writing during that whole period. It was as if I were possessed. And, perhaps I was ... possessed by spirit.
It is becoming increasingly difficult to focus on work. At least with this expression, there is a hope of making a difference, and perhaps a large difference at that. There is so much that I have identified that could be done, and needs to be done ... most of which I am most suited to do. Choosing Best Quotes for instance is a far bigger task than I had remembered it being. There is so much material to review. And, one does need to filter for those passages that are notable enough to be quotable. Even at that, the material is rich with such passages. One could liken this process to separating the wheat from the chaff. But, there is still a substantial amount of wheat. I'm sure others might pick different passages in such selections ... but since I am doing the work, you get what I choose. There is nothing that prevents others from doing as I have done, and selecting completely different passages. In fact, I encourage people to generate such selections and rearrangements of the material and offer it to others for consideration. Just give credit to Beyond Imagination and spirit as the source of the material. When you choose which passages are most meaningful to you and share these passages, you provide a value added service. Your filter provides one added layer of processing to the material. That is an important distinction. Each of us can apply ourselves in ways that provide value added. For some this is easier than for others. It is generally best if we do this in an area that is something that we love to do. We can always find such areas. Though, we may have to go searching for them.
How do I do what I love to do on a full time basis rather than a part time basis? Is that what I really desire to do? Indeed, with all of my heart and soul. There is a sense that I've had enough of the games. It is time to assume my rightful place within society and do what I came into this existence to do. The only thing keeping me from doing this at this time is myself and my beliefs regarding what is reasonable and what is possible for me. The bottom line is that I can create whatsoever reality that I would prefer. I have the full force of spirit behind me in this. She has always been there ... but never so forcefully as she is at the present. What I will now will become manifest ... it is that simple. Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it ... comes to mind. Indeed, it speaks a powerful truth. Your wish is our command. It seems that there are a host of spiritual forces ready to do our bidding, as soon as we decide what that is. They will not decide this for us. They await our decision and our action in accord with our decision. It is not enough to think something ... we must demonstrate that we believe it via the willingness to take action in accord with it.
Interesting, a check of the word count yielded exactly 756, the two drivers of my triangle tarot card readings from 1995. That is always a sign that I'm onto something that is significant spiritually. At this pace, I'm clearly not going to make it much past 1000 words, if I make it that far. The desire is there to continue to express, but the tiredness is settling in along with the realization that morning comes far too soon for my taste. While my work hours are somewhat flexible, they aren't as flexible as I would like. I long to be completely free ... to be able to set my own schedule to be whatever I would have it be. It seems that I'm only going to be able to do this if I'm working on my own. Other jobs within my current company don't seem to offer the answers that I seek. I desire to work for spirit directly ... much as we have worked together over the past decade ... but in particular over the past 16 months. What do I need to do to make this desire a reality? I've shown that I can do this on a regular basis. Can I express day in and day out for 6-8 hours per day? That would be a lot of expression. But, there is nothing that I've encountered that suggests that there is any limit here. However, I would definitely need a good chair. That is a lot of sitting in from of a computer.
6 May 2003
Another short day of musing yesterday. Again I spent time selecting best quotes for the 2003 Musings - Vol I book. It is fun choosing the best of the best passages in that manner. But, it is also time consuming to read through everything and make the selections. At least it is a task that only needs to be done once. I'm about half done. At the pace I'm going, I should be able to finish by early next week if not sooner. I'd prefer to get it done this week. However, I don't like it taking away from my time to express here. It all comes down to priorities. Where do we choose to expend our time? Right now, I choose to do a sort of balancing act trying to get both tasks done concurrently. Yes, I can only work on one at a time, but I can split my time so that I work on both on any given day. There is an urgency to what I am doing. There is also a heightened sense of importance. It seems that the time is right for unleashing Beyond Imagination unto the world. I've been waiting a whole decade for this time. Now, it seems the world is ready for what we have to say and the manner in which we have to say it. Though on the later count, we may have to be somewhat flexible and adapt our message to the audience that we find that we attract. That is OK. That is what feedback is all about. And, we invite feedback ... both positive and negative. We are able to learn from either.
Wow, it has been a very busy day! It sure makes the time fly by. It is good to be productive. However, being busy and being productive are not always the same thing. Today just happened to be one of those days when they were. I was productive both at work and in this expression and I still have several hours yet to go. Who knows what can come forth in that much time. Though tomorrow needs to be a much earlier day than normal for me. That is OK. We do whatever the job requires. For the most part, that is fairly reasonable. There is still a sense that even with the enhanced productivity, I am still not living up to anywhere close to my potential. It is not for a lack of trying. I'm going through the motions and putting in the effort. And, what I express here is phenomenal, if I have to say so myself. But, how do I share what I express with the world. They aren't beating a path to my doorstep ... or to my website, if you were. What do we have to do to change that? Surely, it must be within my power to do something to broadcast the word of Beyond Imagination to whatever might be its potential intended audience. I have been hoping that spirit would guide whoever was meant to find me to the Beyond Imagination site, but this simply is not happening ... at least not in anywhere close to the numbers that I had hoped. That makes the expression to date very pricey in terms of resources consumed to generate the amount of information consumed. This is one area that I can improve on. I can start doing things that get the word out, that introduce people to whom that I am and the expression that flows forth through me. I don't need permission to do this. I don't need to wait for anyone. I don't even need resources ... though they wouldn't hurt. What I do need is commitment. And, that, I have plenty of ... perhaps more than is good for me.
I would build the foundations for a new world. Yes, that is about as grandiose a task as one can get. But, every nerve and sinew in me vibrates to this task. I know that this is what I am here to do. There is simply no doubt. Further, there is no doubt that I will succeed in this endeavor, for consciousness herself is there guiding me every step of the way. How could I fail with such loving guidance? No, failure is simply not an option. A new age will be manifested and along with it, a new world that has been set up specifically to operate in that new age. We are building that new world now. With each passing day it comes closer and closer to being a reality. It is only a matter of time. We are in the midst of a quickening. The form is being born to carry our collective spiritual awareness forward to new heights. This form is a set of social organizations. Some of these may be formal, others will be informal. It is our interconnectedness that forms the basis upon which spirit can express in new ways. Literally, spirit expresses in ways in which she has never expressed before.
There is still a sense that I am not supposed to be here. Actually, this is a new sense. It is as if I have outlived my usefulness. That is not quite true as my work today proved. However, it is this expression that stirs my soul. It is this expression that captivates my heart. It is this expression that I love. And, I should be doing what I love to do as my primary job. Hmm ... what makes you think that you aren't? What makes you think that this expression is not your primary job? There is nothing that says your primary job is the one for which you are paid, or is the one which takes the most time in your life. Hmm ... I hadn't thought about it like that. But, it is indeed true. This expression is indeed my primary job. It is definitely my spiritual job as well. My paid work is something that I do because I need to do it to earn enough income to pay the bills. If the exchange of labor for income wasn't necessary, I would not choose to continue doing this. So, how do I make it so that this isn't necessary? How do I earn enough from my primary job to live abundantly? I don't ask for much ... and I am willing to work hard at doing all of those things that I am moved by spirit to do. Can I dictate the day of my deliverance, or is the timing something that must be worked out and negotiated behind the scenes? I know, patience is a virtue. But, it has been ten years. It seems that is more than enough time to take my rightful place in the spiritual hierarchy. No, I don't know much about this hierarchy. There is just a sense that people and souls must have reached different levels and states of awareness and that this naturally puts them into various relationships with one another. Out of this seems to arise a natural order or hierarchy. Where I fit in this, I have no clue yet. But, the fact that this is coming forth as it is suggests that there is reason for me to start thinking in these terms.
I would express as I am moved to express. There is a reason that this stream of consciousness expression is captured in the manner that it is. My sense is that it is meant to be an example of what is possible. There is nothing particularly special about me that allows me to bring this forth in this manner. Yes, I have some natural abilities that fall in this area, especially in regards to writing. And yes, I am open to allowing consciousness to express in this way. But, these are things that others could learn to choose to do just as well. Actually, what is more important is for each person to find those things that they love to do ... and then to find a way to do them. For some, the initial search is more difficult than the practice ... for others, the practice is far more difficult than the search. To each their own.
There is a sense that my world is about to change in a major way ... it is as if my reality is to be blown wide open. I've reached a breakpoint once again. And, there is nothing to guide me as to what life will be like on the other side of the breakpoint. The sense is that it will be as different from my present life as night from day. This is no small change that we are talking about. Yet, it seems that I would somehow see the effects from such a change entering into my life already. But, I don't. The ripples haven't made it yet. I sense that they will soon, and that they may be of tidal proportions. Interesting. Can all of this really be happening behind the scenes ... awaiting its proper time to manifest physically? Perhaps it can. Perhaps that is what I sense. How do we get beyond a breakpoint? We ride out the energy of change that it represents. We remain open to the gifts that the new point of view has to offer to us. A breakpoint offers us a chance for a paradigm shift, a chance to see the world in a whole new way. But, we have to be open to it. It doesn't force its way onto us.
We have chosen an interesting time in which to incarnate. At no time in history have the opportunities for spiritual expression been as great. Yet, we still have work to do. While there is a spiritual destiny that is unfolding, it is not doing so automatically ... we are active players in the drama. What we choose matters. What we do matters. In fact, what we do makes all the difference. And, making a difference is what we are here to do. In the end, what matters is what we have learned and what services we have performed. What we have learned we take with us. What services we have performed are effectively the legacy that we leave. One of my chief services is this expression. But, who does it serve other than me? Will I ever know? Does it even matter? Is it not enough that I express because I am moved to express?
What would I bring forth next? This expression continues, but there is a sense that it needs to evolve to something different. Exactly what that is, I don't yet know. However, I sense that when the time comes, the expression will naturally evolve to what it needs to be. This is not something I need to work at or struggle with. This is one thing I can count on. When I go inside and tap the source for words, the stream of consciousness will indeed be forthcoming. It has been this way for a decade. The sense is that it will be this way for the remainder of my days. And, because I firmly believe this ... it seems that I will indeed make it so in my life.
Are we expressing just to express? Or, do we really have something to say? It is not clear that there is much of a message some of the time. Yet, on and on and on I go anyway. I trust that there is a purpose behind all of this. I trust that there is a reason that I am expending hours per day doing this. I feel that this is the most important endeavor in my life. I can't imagine not doing it. That is just not a choice that I would make. I get too much benefit from all of this, even if the benefits are primarily intangible ones. Probably the biggest benefit is the ego boost from being the one through whom this expression is able to manifest. I take great pride in that. The grandiosity can get extreme from time to time. But, what else would you expect from one dealing with the reality that I experience? Just accepting that all of this expression comes forth through me is a major fact to deal with. There is so much of it ... and the quality surpasses anything I might hope to generate on my own. So, how do I explain what comes forth? It is what it is. It is a stream of consciousness expression the source of which is spirit herself.
7 May 2003
Once again we come to this sacred place to express what consciousness would bring forth through us. This continues to be a daily ritual, though of late the quantity of expression has been impacted by time spent on other Beyond Imagination endeavors. There is only so much free time per day. Until I find a way to free up more time for the work of Beyond Imagination, I am resource constrained ... with the primary resource being my own time. How do I make this work my paid work as well as my spiritual work? Publishing seems to be the right answer. Though, that may not provide immediate payback. That is OK. I can be patient when I need to be, so long as I see that the desired changes are indeed coming. At the rate that I am going, I'll have the second book ready by the time that I get the proofs for the first book from the publisher. Then it is a matter of deciding when to submit it. If I like the proof copy, I'll be comfortable submitting it right away. If not, I'll have to consider what other options I have available to me.
New expression or packaging old expression. That is the choice that I have these days. Both need to be done. However, I need to choose when I am going to do what. I can't do both at the same time. My preference has been to bring forth the new with the understanding that there would always be time to package the old as necessary when new products needed to be created. So far, I have been able to find the time ... primarily because I place such a high priority on my Beyond Imagination work. I can't imagine what my life would be like without this expression. For a decade, consciousness has been my constant companion, my friend, my guide, my teacher. She has led me along my path every step of the way. Even now, she feeds my mind with these words. When she speaks, I listen ... and when I can, I act based on what I have heard. How do I distinguish what consciousness does from what my own mind does? Is it even necessary to make such a distinction? Consciousness can only express physically, and this only occurs through our mind as expressed through our brain. Ultimately, what counts is the physical expression. However, this is often driven by a more multidimensional expression on higher levels that gets projected onto the physical. Because it is a projection, some of the dimensionality of the expression is lost in the translation to the physical. That is OK. What remains still has its utility. It is just incomplete.
I'm fading rapidly, but I don't want to give up for the evening just yet. The work day started much earlier that normal. I'm nearing the 16 hour point for the day already. I need to decide to either continue for another hour or to find some place to quit for the evening. At this point, I'm still well shy of the 1000 word mark. That is the minimum that I've set as the informal threshold for each day's musings. It is a nice round number. It comes to just over 1.25 pages of material. I don't like goals or quotas ... yet, at the same time I have expectations regarding what I can produce. I expect a lot from myself, more than anyone has a right to expect from me. But I know what many of my abilities are, so I know what I am capable of. I challenge myself to do more, to express more, and to be more. I take the directive be all that you can be to heart and try to live up to that daily.
Consciousness is the star by which the ship of self should be navigated. I say should be because for many this is not consciously occurring at the present time. It could be. Just as some people have GPS navigation systems in their cars, it seems that some people have Cosmic navigation systems in their consciousness. We have the technology in both cases, it is just costly in dollars for the first or time to develop for the second. If we want to lower the price, we need to focus the appropriate resources that enable making the technologies available to a much larger segment of the population. This is a choice that we make as a society when we decide who deserves what goods and services. This is something that we need to decide collectively.
8 May 2003
Last nights musing was cut short. It seems that tonight’s will be as well. It is already 11 PM as I begin, so there is not a lot of time left in the day and I have a doctors appointment in the morning. That's OK. We express what we express when we can express it. I did spend a few hours today selecting best quotes for 2003 Musings - Vol I so the day has not been a complete loss. I still have several hours to go on that ... but I should be able to finish it next week. Then, another week for a couple of editing passes and the entire book should be ready to go to the publisher. I've pretty much decided not to wait. The material deserves to be given a chance to succeed. It succeeds by finding the audience for which it came into existence. I don't know what that audience is per se. But, I know that it is out there somewhere ... I just need to find a way to reach it. This may or may not be via traditional ways. That, we will see soon enough.
It seems that I could hear from the publisher on Best Passages from 2002 Musings anytime now. It has been nearly 6 weeks. The estimate was 6-8 weeks. Worst case, we should hear something before the end of the month. That would put us on track for having a published book by 1 July. That is within six months of the closeout of the material for the book. We are doing even better on 2003 Musings - Vol 1, we could have it ready within three months of the closeout of the April musings that are included in the book. That is pretty amazing. That makes the works about as current as possible. Yes, it is a lot of work to make this happen. But, I feel that it is necessary work. It is something that I am moved to do. I don't really know why. It just seems that this latest spurt of expression that began on 1 Jan 02 needs to be captured in this manner.
It will be interesting to see who is moved to purchase and read these books? They are definitely not your typical non-fiction books. What I do know is that they capture the best that could be expressed through me at this time. I believe that is saying a lot. The quality and quantity of material expressed here still blows me away. Hopefully it will have that effect on others as well. Though, as a wayshower, I also want to point out that if all this can come forth through me ... then what does that say about what you are capable of. You are a spiritual being expressing in flesh here and now as well. There are parts of you that are just as capable if not more capable than the parts of me responsible for bringing forth this expression. You may not have found them yet ... but they are there, somewhere within you. It is for you to seek and find them.
This expression is my way of giving back to the world some of what I have been so fortunate to receive. It is also my way of discovering whom that I am in ways more intimate than in any other aspect of my life. Here is where I interface with consciousness firsthand. Here is where I see what spirit would produce in my life. Yes, it is a lot. This stream of consciousness has had some run over the past decade taking me to places and states of mind that were unknown to me before. I have given consciousness a wide berth to take me where she will ... trusting that she knew what she was doing and that it was all for my highest good. I am being trained to play a particular role related to ushering in a new age. This involves building the foundations required for spirit to more fully express in flesh. It seems only right that I do this on a personal scale first by building the inner infrastructure necessary for this stream of consciousness to express as it does. That way, I know firsthand of what I speak when I start to talk of infrastructures that allow others to do the same ... and even more important, start combining together into cooperatively interdependent organizations that allow new functions to be performed or current functions to be performed more effectively.
I'm starting to run out of steam. However, there is more to be expressed. So long as spirit animates me, I will give her voice. She can say what she will through me. Each of us has a role to play in the drama that lies ahead, and often multiple roles in the various areas of our lives. It is for us to learn our roles and to play them as best we can, regardless of what they are. Not all of our roles are positive. There is a balancing of karmic scales that occurs even as we enact our roles. We may not understand why we do some of the things that we do. That is OK. Life is not necessarily meant to be fully understood. The unknown has its place. It is an important part of nearly everything that we do. We can do things to try to mitigate it and minimize its impact. But, it will not go away no matter what we do.
What does it take to live a spiritual life? What does it take to engage in the dance of consciousness ... in the expression of spirit in flesh? The bottom line is that it takes nothing except the realization that we are spirit expressing in flesh now. We are consciousness dancing and singing our song here and now. Almost by definition, we can't live anything but a spiritual life. However, there is the issue of how well we do this. Being spirit doesn't make our actions spiritual any more than being human makes our actions humane. That is simply not enough. It takes additional factors and effort aligned with spiritual principles for us to truly live a spiritual life ... much as it takes effort aligned with particular moral principles to make actions humane.
9 May 2003
We'll try something different today. I got a request from John to focus today's musing on a particular topic. In particular on the question:
"I wonder about the advisability of helping someone because if each of us is where we are for karma (past) resolution or learning (future) preparations won't my 'helping' someone retard their karmic and/or learning progress?"
My first sense is that when we are genuinely moved to help someone, there is a reason for it as well. There is a duty and an obligation that we feel. We are the vehicles through which spirit provides help to those who are in need. Yes, we can go overboard. There is a saying God helps those who help themselves. Further, we can go overboard and offer our help before it is needed or even requested.
There is a spiritual responsibility to see that needs are met to the degree that they can be met within society. The very infrastructures of society at present keep us from meeting the needs of everyone. When there is hunger, the system is failing. Where there is poverty, the system is failing. Where there are homeless people, the system is failing. And, we have these things in this country, the richest country in the world.
Part of reality creation is constructing the scenes of our lives. This includes setting up any help that we may need to get from where we are to where we need to be. Karma or learning preparations don't force us to do all of this on our own. This is one of the benefits of living within a society. We can set up mutually beneficial relationships and interactions that result in both our individual and collective growth. This does not retard our progress. On the contrary, it enhances it.
Everything that happens in our life is there because we choose for it to be. No one can help us or harm us against our will. At some level we create or at least agree to all that we experience. No fine print, no exceptions. For most of us, this is an other than conscious process ... even for me, and I consider myself to be highly aware. We learn from everything that we experience, and from some of the things that we don't experience. The fact that something doesn't happen in our life is often as important if not more important as the fact that something does happen.
We need to go through life with an attitude of expectancy. We need to expect that spirit will provide us the help that we need when we need it in our lives. Though, we also need to make sure that we've exhausted all of our own internal avenues for help before we seek external ones. There is much that we can do for ourselves. Further, there is a mirroring that goes on. The effort we expend on helping ourself is typically mirrored and magnified by spirit. However, it all starts with us.
That doesn't mean that as individuals we go out and help everyone that we can. My sense is that whomever we are moved by spirit to help we are meant to help. There is a place for the Mother Teresas of the world. That doesn't mean that mean that we need to help everyone who asks ... though we should at least consider why their asking for help is showing up in our personal reality. As individuals, there is only so much that we can do. But, when we allow spirit to work through us ... and help through us, there is so much more that we can do. In each instance where a request for help appears in our reality, we need to do an assessment of what does it mean to us, and how are we going to respond to the request.
We need to be careful about placing too much emphasis on the separation of individuals and not enough on their unity and oneness. Ours is a cooperative world ... at least that is how spirit functions in the world. Because of this, we don't force individuals to learn things on their own or the hard way when it is easier to help them through whatever they are facing. Cooperate and graduate is the name of the game. Competition and survival of the fittest still operate in the minds and belief systems of many. In fact, in this country, this is still the predominant belief. That doesn't make it right. It is this belief that results in some of the major problems that exist in this country from which people need help?
Who should be providing help? One avenue is charitable organizations and the people who donate to them. But why should the few who give to charities take responsibility for alleviating problems created by society as a whole? Social problems are societies problems and hence are everyone’s responsibility. Some people feel a strong obligation to help when it comes to family, but stop short when it comes to extending that to helping strangers. Others stop at immediate family only. Still others stop at their own door. Overall, the collective need for help needs to be satisfied by the collective goods and services that society is willing to offer. Otherwise, there is a shortfall and some need goes unmet. You might say that needs go unmet all of the time. What is new about what we are dealing with here? In my vision of the new world, needs do not go unmet. We, as a society take responsibility for ensuring that the goods and services required to meet needs are created and distributed to where they are needed. This means helping everyone that needs help ... regardless of the type of help that they need. Yes, that is a lot to ask. However, we expect each individual to provide something back to society in return.
There is a concern that if I help someone, perhaps they will not learn something that they might have learned if they had been forced to figure it out for themselves. Not to worry. There are many ways to learn the same lessons. If I help someone advance in consciousness, in particular, they are in a better place from which to learn a similar lesson. They will still create the necessary conditions in their life to learn the lessons that they need to learn. There is always a way to do this. As an example, if someone is starving, they need to be given food. There is no spiritual advantage gained by allowing them to continue to suffer.
So, what is the bottom line from all of this? Help those whom you are moved to help in whatever ways you are moved to help them. Be careful of helping people before they ask. Hmm ... Though isn't that what I am doing here to a great degree. I am bringing forth concepts regarding creating foundations for a new world which most people do not realize is even needed yet. How can I be so sure that what I am doing, that what spirit is doing through me, is right? What can I say? I just know that it is. All of this expression has come forth as it has for a reason. Ultimately, it is my way of helping a world that I see is in need of help. Who am I to make such an assessment? Just a simple soul with grandiose ideas about how I can impact the world. It is curious that today’s topic would be on helping others. The greatest help of all would be to provide an infrastructure in which each individual could thrive and have their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs met. I'm here to help build that very infrastructure. Right now, it doesn't exist ... except in the hearts and minds of a few special souls. But, it is destined to be ... and in our lifetimes. It is a matter of doing what it takes to make it so. I, for one, plan to do my part. That is what my life has come to. That is what this expression is all about.
Is there some level at which the world is asking for better foundations and a better infrastructure? It seems that this is being driven more from the top down by the expression of the Aquarian Age. Spirit herself is demanding a better vehicle through which to express collectively. Though, at some point, the citizens of the world may also decide that the current status quo is not fair, that the present world infrastructure is not working. There are many poor countries in dire need of help. Further, there are a few developed countries with far too much power. How do we evolve to ONE world? How does equality apply on a worldwide scale? Why is it fair for developed countries to take economic advantage of underdeveloped ones? How do we ensure that our affairs are conducted in a true WIN-WIN fashion?
Karma is not a curse on us. It is a collective account of what we have done. Its primary utility is in keeping track of where we have gone overboard and need to achieve balance through additional right action. This involves areas where we have lessons to learn. In life, we have schools for learning our lessons. And, these schools have teachers to help us in the learning process. Why should our karmic lessons be any different? Why should we not have teachers (helpers) to assist us in learning the lessons that we need to learn? These teachers could be anyone who is moved to help us. An additional factor in this is that through helping, those that help may balance a karmic debt as well. This debt may not be against the particular individual that is helped, but it is not clear that karmic records are kept on such a personal level. They may be. But, I just don't have the experience with these to know one way or the other.
The focused topic approach made for an interesting musing today. It didn't detract from the flow of consciousness, but kept it a little more organized than normal. We'll have to try this more often and see how we like it. There are a lot of topics worthy of exploration. And, I'm sure consciousness has a lot to say on each of them.
Back to our topic. Helping ourselves is the first step. However, sometimes circumstances require that we go beyond ourselves and ask for help. That is perfectly OK. We are not meant to handle everything in our lives by ourselves. That is why we have others in our lives, that is why we live in a society. When we have exhausted our own means, it is appropriate to ask others for the help that we need. We can ask God via prayer. We can ask various social organizations specifically set up to provide assistance. We can ask family and friends. If we are sincere, we will get what we need. We may not get everything that we want, or everything that we think that we need. But, spirit will ensure that we get what we actually need. How can I say that knowing that there are so many poverty-stricken people in the world ... and even in this country? Is everyone really getting what they need? There is a strong part of me that cries no! There is far too much misery and suffering in the world for that to be true. But, who am I to judge this? Life is as it is. It is the best that it can be under the current constraints under which the world operates. If we want it to be different, we have to change some of those constraints. Part of this is the degree to which people help other people in society and in the world. This needs to be far more than it has been to date. We have to decide collectively what standard of living is acceptable and what is not ... and ensure that everyone has at least an acceptable standard of living. This does not mean everyone in the world enjoys the material comforts of those in the developed nations in the Western World. There simply are not enough resources to permit that. However, there are many improvements that can be made that would be far better than present living conditions.
I hope that we've addressed John's question in a satisfactory manner. The bottom line seems to be that we need to do what we are moved to do which includes helping those whom we are meant to help. We don't have to worry about denying others their due learning process. If there is a lesson that they are need to learn, they will find another way to do it. We are ever in the process of creating and attracting the circumstances needed to learn what we need to learn and experience what we need to experience.
10 May 2003
Watched the movie Oh, God! last night. There was so much that I didn't remember. The film had a wonderful message and was done quite well. It was innovative and even hilarious at times. Went to see the play Brigadoon tonight. There is something about live theatre that is far different than movies. No, the sets aren't as elaborate. But, what they lack in budget, they seem to make up for in imagination. Brigadoon is a magical story about the awesome power of love. It is a very moving story, very lively and full of song and dance.
It is 11 PM as I begin this musing. So, we're in for a short one tonight. I guess theoretically I could go on into the wee hours of the night, but that doesn't seem fair and I wake up late enough as it is. I liked the topic oriented musing yesterday ... so, let's continue with that today. I've been thinking about the issue of what one is worth. This seems to be a topic worthy of investigation. What is the worth of an individual?
To begin with, it seems that what we are worth is somewhat dependent on what we do? The economic system has divided labor into a number of categories and the free market economy has established what each of those categories is worth on an hourly or per good/service basis. Our education and initiative determines which bin we fit within and thus determines our worth within the present economic system. At least, that is how it seems to work for 95 plus percent of the population. There are always the exceptions who seem to find a way to beat the system and excel in ways that others do not. These are the multimillionaires among us, that seem to rise to the top somehow. Part of it seems to be persistence. Some might say that luck is involved as well. But, we create our own reality ... that includes our jobs and our financial reality.
What we can receive is often limited by what we feel that we are worthy of receiving. Our self worth is crucial to our wealth. The two go hand in hand. The more worthy we believe ourselves to be, the more wealth we will draw unto us. Wealth may be in many forms however. It may come as health, relationships, money, job opportunities, education opportunities, growth opportunities, etc ... How do we become more worthy? How do we believe that we are worth more than we currently have in our lives? There is a trick. We become more worthy by finding ways to give of ourselves. What we invest in others, in society, and in our world ... pays big dividends in the long run. There is always something that we can give. Part of this is an attitude. If we simply interact with others in a positive way that helps to brighten their day, that is doing something. If we can do more than this, all the better. Never take more than you give! That is the spiritual directive from The Lion King. That is what creates abundance in the world. And out of that abundance, everyone gets what they are worthy of receiving.
One way to assess what we are presently worth is what we are paid in terms of salary and job satisfaction. We have drawn our present circumstances to us for a reason ... even if that reason is to make us aware that we truly desire to be doing something else. It takes boldness and bravery to escape the bonds the bind us. Yet, if we would be free to pursue our destiny this is exactly what we must do. If not now, when? It seems that we only get so many opportunities. If we allow them to pass us by, who knows whether they will ever return again? When opportunity knocks, we need to be ready for it, and we need to open the door and embrace it into our lives. If we aren't satisfied with our present circumstances for whatever reasons, it is time to do what it takes to transform them into something that we can be satisfied with. This is always within our power to do. No, it is not always easy. It may require doing things that take us outside of our comfort zone. But, if we are sincere in our efforts, we will find a way. Change happens when we make it happen. We have to believe that it can happen. We have to want it to happen. And, we have to do things consistent with making it happen. These are all within our power to control.
There is another sense that says I am worth far more than I am presently being paid. I engage in a whole body of spiritual work, in particular this expression, for which there is no financial compensation. I was going to say no compensation, but I get a lot out of this expression. I grow in ways that I would not grow without this expression in my life. In particular, my awareness has expanded greatly over the course of the past decade. But, is that enough? Does this constitute sufficient compensation? Over the past few months, I've established $1 per word as the fair price for this expression. The sense is that this is a minimum that is non-negotiable. We'll have to see whether the packaged works sell sufficiently to hit this mark. I might as well aim high. Though it is not at all clear that this is high. It just may be reasonable after all. It seems that we will see one way or another in the next several months.
What can individuals do to be worth more? Again, the answer is to give more. It is by giving that we prime the pump for receiving the abundance that is rightly due to us in physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual areas of our lives. Along with this we need to do the self-work necessary for us to be worthy of receiving such abundance in our own eyes. If we judge ourselves as less than worthy, we will create lack rather than abundance.
11 May 2003
It seems that we're in for another abbreviated musing tonight. It is nearly 10:30 PM already and I need to rise early for work in the morning. Keeping with the trend of the past two days, let's focus on a topic for this musing as well. What better focus than: what is the purpose of life? This is a question that each of us must ultimately deal with during the course of our life. Then again, that may not be true. It seems that many never even ask the question much less come close to finding the answer.
The purpose of life is simply to provide the opportunity for us to express and to experience whom that we are. Part of this involves discovering whom that we are to begin with. What we are meant to express is what spirit would express through us. We will know what this is when we are moved to express it. Life is meant to be lived spontaneously. That doesn't mean that plans don't have utility at times ... but we need to be careful of allowing them to make us too rigid. We are meant to create our reality in the present moment. That is where we attract the events that play themselves out in our lives, and that is where we assign meaning to what we experience. It is in the assignment of meaning to the events of our lives that we have an awesome power. We are free to apply any meaning we choose to any event. There is nothing inherent in events themselves that is good or bad, that is frightening, that is painful, that is helpful, or that is enlightening. It is all up to us.
Can it be so simple? To express and to experience whom that we are. Actually, from one perspective, there is nothing simple about that. Whom that we are is spirit expressing in flesh. So, discovering this firsthand can be quite some endeavor. Yet, it is what the spiritual path is all about. I should have said paths. It seems that there are as many paths as there are individuals. And, rightly so. We each have our differences and nuances. Spirit finds ways to take advantage of these. How do we experience whom that we are? It seems that this would be the most natural thing in the world to do. And, indeed it is when we let down our barriers and allow our self to express in our lives. This may be in writing as I do here. It may be in art or any number of forms of creative expression. Whatever works for you is what you are meant to do. One thing is certain, it will be something that you love to do. It may involve establishing and maintaining relationships with others. Or, it may be a more solitary pursuit. You will know what is right for you.
More than anything else, we are consciousness enfleshed, we are spirit having a physical experience. More and more, we need to experience whom that we are in consciousness. I have 30 years of study and 10 years of expression that shows that this is a grand adventure ... probably the grandest adventure we will undertake in our lives. Consciousness is unfathomable. There are parts of her that will remain unknown despite the greatest efforts on our part to understand her. That is just the nature of the challenge. From our limited form, there is only so much that we can understand.
Expressing whom that we are is a little easier. Though here, we have to open up and give ourselves permission. What we would express and what spirit would express through us may be different things. We may think the latter to be somewhat crazy and definitely grandiose. Yet, we need to express it anyway. This requires a level of trust in spirit as she is expressing through us. Is that trust warranted? From all that I have experienced to date, indeed it is. Ten years of expressing this stream of consciousness from spirit has shown me that I can trust it to come forth with reasonable material. It is not all rational. Much of it relies on intuition. But, I have found that intuition is equal to if not more powerful a process than reason. How can I say that with a BSEE from USC and MSEE from Stanford as my formal education? It is just that my informal education has been more important to the things that matter most in my reality. In particular, this expression is a case in point. There is nothing logical about all of this. There is nothing from my formal education that prepared me for my part in all of this and for the content that comes forth in this expression. Yet, after a few adjustments to some shocks ... a few major ones at that, I settled down and the expression became a natural extension of me. It became an activity that I engaged in, a way to express another part of whom that I am. And, every step of the way, as the observer I looked for what this told me about whom that I am. Clearly, it was obvious that I am more than I knew that I was ... more than I dreamed that I was. This, despite all of the reading in metaphysics, including all of Seth's books.
Some might say that there is no purpose to life other than to live fully and completely. My sense is that we each have a mission to perform, a destiny to manifest. Deep inside of us, we know what these are ... however, it seems that few are consciously aware of these. It is for us to seek out why we are here ... and then do what it takes to actualize it. The spiritual law applies: seek and ye shall find. However, we need to be sincere in our seeking. Further, we need to be open to finding what we seek. There needs to be an expectancy in the process. We need to expect to find the answers that we seek. We need to expect to discover our mission and destiny. Further, we need to know that we will recognize it when we see it.
12 May 2003
Another few hours expended on selecting Best Quotes for 2003 Musings - Vol I. Another day or so and all that is left is some cleanup work to grammar check. That is quite some achievement to have such a work ready within a couple of weeks of the closeout date of the material. It truly is incredible. Doing all of that while holding down my day job and continuing with these musings, albeit at a somewhat reduced pace.
What topic would we choose to focus the musing today? How do we know what is the right action for us to take? Hmm ... this one seems easy, but that may just be at the surface. In my experience, we just know. The choice is obvious. But, this implies that we are already in touch with the part of us that knows. That does not seem to be the case for the vast majority of people. That doesn't mean that it couldn't be. It is simply that many have not been introduced to this part of themselves that knows. It is there within each of us. It just happens to be hidden within for many. To know, we have to want to know. Knowing has to become as important to us as breathing. That is what allows the breakthrough to occur. That is what allows us to awaken to this part of ourself that knows.
I don't think much about what constitutes right action or wrong action. I have reached a point in my life where I know that spirit moves me ... so all that I really have to do is what I am moved to do in the moment. My reality is constructed from what I do here and now, and in particular what I do each day. I try to do several hours of work that has lasting value each and every day. I believe this expression to qualify as that type of work. Whether it will have that kind of impact or not remains to be seen ... but, I sense that it will; and, I am moved to do what it takes to see that it does. Yes, to be successful, my work must have world impact in some way. I know, that is grandiose thinking. But, I see my mission in such terms. Further, I see myself succeeding in this mission. I am dedicated and devoted to this endeavor. I will do what it takes to build the foundations for a new world. That is no small task. But, mine is no small consciousness.
The key to right action is do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. Just make sure that it is spirit that is doing the moving. I've been dealing directly with spirit in my life for so long that I don't remember what competing forces move people. I'm sure there are still some of these in my life. But, for the most part, they take a second seat to spiritual expression. Right action feels right to us and harms no one ... or, at least minimizes the harm that is done. Right action is elegant. It utilizes resources with maximal efficiency.
I'm an intuitive type of person. Perhaps that is why right action is so obvious to me. For a more rational type of person, perhaps a reasoned argument would be more appropriate and more convincing. However, it is not my job to be convincing. That is not why this expression is manifest. I offer a point of view from one who has awakened and reached some heightened states of awareness. At least, that is what I think that I have experienced. You can judge that for yourself based on what I am able to express. To date, you have close to three million words of Beyond Imagination expression to choose from. That makes beginning a daunting task. But, by all means do begin.
So, what am I moved to do next? Finishing 2003 Musings - Vol I is high on the priority list. Best Passages from 2002 Musings should come back for final proofing any day now. Then compiling Beyond Imagination: The Early Works would make three books for the year to date. Though, that will take substantial work to complete. That is OK. It takes what it takes. It seems important that all of this is captured, and that it is in this form ... officially as published books. Selling the books is a whole other matter. But, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Here, the publisher offers some guidance. We'll start there and see what else we are moved to do. There is a reason that I am being moved to publish these works. The sense is that there is indeed an audience for whom they are meant ... and spirit will guide us to find that audience. Everything in me says that this is the right action for me to be taking at this time. What will come of it is only partly in my hands.
Do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it! This works well so long as it is spirit that is doing the moving in our life. How do we know if this is the case or not? How do we know that we are not being moved out of self-interest or out of direction from another? These are not questions I was ever moved to ask. It was so obvious that spirit was at the steering wheel that I had no concerns in this area. But, not everyone experiences things this way. Not everyone spends hours per day as a vessel through which consciousness can speak. That is why there are wayshowers. However, we must believe that we too can do what we see the wayshowers demonstrate. That is the whole purpose of their demonstrations. What I can do, you can do also. However, it is not for you to do it my way ... it is for you to do it in your own way.
13 May 2003
Another busy day. It seems that they are all busy anymore. That is OK. It is much better to be busy than to be bored. Though, there was a lot of sitting around waiting for things to happen today. I did put in some time on selecting Best Quotes for 2003 Musings - Book I. With any luck, I should be able to finish the selection process tomorrow. Then all that remains is spell checking and grammar checking. My goal is to have the book complete by Memorial Day.
Continuing with our topic oriented musings ... today we'll focus on the nature of consciousness. What does it mean for us to be conscious? This goes hand in hand with being aware ... and more than that, being aware of being aware. I call this expression a stream of consciousness. What does it say about consciousness that such a stream as this could flow forth in this manner? This expression is a fact in my life, and in your life if you are reading this. It is not subject to speculation. How is it that it can exist in this manner? I've asked this question often. But, I don't think that I've come close to an answer. I've resigned myself to accept the reality that it does exist ... that consciousness expresses as she does in my life.
How does consciousness differ from thought? What is the difference, if any, between a stream of consciousness and a stream of thought? I don't know that I can answer that. I typically think of thought as being more rational, but this does not have to be the case.
What distinguishes us as conscious beings? What can we do that other beings in the animal kingdom cannot do? We can reflect on whom that we are and what we have done. We can desire and hope for things to manifest in the future. We can take action in the present with an understanding of the future ramifications of our actions. We can come to know whom that we are ... and we can choose to express that as fully as we can in our lives. This is not always easy. But, challenges are good for the soul at times. They tend to bring out the best in us. We just need to be careful not to overdo it to the point where we are overwhelmed.
I AM THAT I AM! That is what God told Moses to call him. Each of us can speak these same words and be speaking truthfully. However, the issue is do we have any real clue as to what we are? I would guess that few people have thought much about this. We typically leave such issues to the philosophers among us. But how can we not deal with something as personally relevant as this? Know Thyself! This is a spiritual directive. It is not an option. Though, there is nothing that says it is a requirement for each of us in this particular existence. Many have specific lives planned out with specific karma to work through and specific lessons to learn. That does not appear to be my way this time around. I came to be one of the aware ones ... one who would live an awakened life ... one who would be a wayshower ... one who would build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. This puts me in somewhat august company, the company of world servers. Yes, I speak in grandiose terms because I sincerely believe my mission to be grand.
Consciousness is as consciousness does. You shall know her by her works. This stream of consciousness expression is a perfect example. Consciousness is that which could produce all of this. Yet, she is more than that as well. This expression is the only part of her that I could capture and manifest physically. Consciousness is more than my mind, yet she uses my mind as the tool through which to pass this expression. I am aware of being aware of so many things even as I allow this expression to come forth. How does this compare with how others experience consciousness? I don't know that I'll ever know. Each of us is a unique expression of spirit, of consciousness. It seems that some may be far more unique than others. Then again, that seems to be partly a matter of personal preference and how far from the norm we care to venture. Many are of the herd mentality and choose to express within close proximity to the norm. The few choose to have nothing to do with this ... and instead push the envelope wherever they can.
One difference between consciousness and thought is the mental chatter. My mind is blank a lot ... literally blank, with no thoughts, or few thoughts crossing it. This stream of consciousness comes from a different place than my thoughts come from. How do I characterize the difference? The source for the stream of consciousness is deeper within me. It is a verbal source. It expresses as a voice in my head that I type. When I think, it is different. The process is more direct. There is not this voice as the intermediary that is carrying the communication. Though, I don't really think a lot anymore. I used to. I used to think most of the time, primarily about metaphysics. Now, my mind is busy in different ways. It makes connections. That is a different type of thinking ... one that I did not learn in any school. It is the connections that are everything in my world now. Facts have limited utility. It is how information is connected that gives it power.
Perhaps the reason that all of this can come forth through me is precisely because my mind is as blank as it is so much of the time. The old saying nature abhors a vacuum applies. When we empty our minds, nature or spirit will find something to fill it with. It is that simple. Though giving up our thoughts and getting to a beyond mind state is far easier said than done. If it were easy, we would have seen far more people do it by now ... and it would be evident in the works that they are doing as a result.
We typically speak of our consciousness being composed of the subconscious, conscious, and superconscious. And, indeed, these divisions do seem to exist on some level. However, from another framework, we are a unified whole, and there are no such divisions. That does not mean that it is not useful to speak of the parts and their natures. The desired mode of operation is for the conscious to look over to the subconscious to look up to the superconscious. This is depicted in the VI card of the Tarot. Many people consider the conscious to be "higher" than the subconscious. In fact, they look upon the subconscious as something that needs to be controlled or caged. My sense is that they have it wrong. The subconscious naturally knows what is right and naturally knows to look up for guidance. It is the conscious that can get out of control and believe it can do far more than it is designed to do. The superconscious primarily comes forth via intuition. It is the avenue through which spirit directs us to do what we are meant to do.
Our consciousness is one thing that we take with us when we depart this existence. Our worldly possessions will remain in the world ... but what we have become in consciousness, this cannot be taken away, even by death. As to what form we will have after death, I do not know. But, I am certain that the consciousness that I am will not cease to exist, ever. How can I be so sure of this? I have no recollection of other existences. The very idea that life would offer only one existence in which to learn and grow spiritually seems ludicrous to me. It makes far more sense that souls, individualized sparks of spirit, would enter the world and grow in consciousness via their experiences over many lifetimes. There are only so many things any given soul could learn in a lifetime. It could easily take dozens to hundreds of lifetimes to evolve and awaken spiritually. So, how many lifetimes might I have had? My sense is that it is enough that I am an ancient soul here on a transcendental mission. Emerson and Thoreau, two famous transcendentalists, are my heroes. Some of their quotes graced the walls of my office for many years. Now, my own quotes do that. Are my quotes that good? Indeed, I believe that they are. Spirit has not only been prolific through me, she has been quite inspirational.
Consciousness is extremely important in our lives. The degree to which we are aware makes all the difference in the world. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. Consciousness is our way of staying in touch with the spiritual part of us from which we spring. This doesn't happen automatically ... not for most of us anyway. We have to work at it. We have to do the self-work to know ourselves. This is not easy work. Sometimes it feels like we are fighting the current and swimming upstream. It helps to break up some of our patterns and get away from some of our habitual ways of seeing things and doing things. Our consciousness is very much like a muscle. It needs to be stretched and it needs to be used so that it remains flexible.
"Wherever two or more of you are gathered in my name ... there is love." How does consciousness build in such endeavors? There is only ONE consciousness of which we all are part. So, how do two consciousness, or three consciousness, or ... get together to do anything? It would seem that we have the equation one + one + one + ... = ONE. Yet, no subset of the parts equals the whole. So, what gives? Where we have more than one, we have synergy, the magic energy that makes the whole more than the sum of its parts.
14 May 2003
The quote for the day makes a fitting topic for a musing:
Spirit by its very nature seeks to express and unfold whom that it is in whatever way it can.
We are the limiting factors in this expression, by the restrictions that we place on our connection to source, and on how we allow that source to express and manifest in our lives.
It is natural for spirit to express itself and to unfold itself as it will in our lives. We have only to allow it to do so. Any limits to expression are there because we have placed them there. All restrictions are self-imposed. The natural connection that we have to source is free from all of this. It is for us to choose how we allow source to express and manifest in our lives. This is one of the most powerful of all of our choices.
We are spirit in expression. We have always been thus and we shall always be so. It behooves us to do things that enhance the quality of this expression to the degree that we can. And, we can do far more than we might think. It is as if our consciousness is the faucet through which the water of spirit flows. We are in control of opening the faucet to control whether the water flows and to control the force and volume that flows. If this expression is any indication, it seems that my faucet is wide open right now and has been for some time.
As the expression of spirit in flesh, we too seek to express whom that we are as fully as we can. But to do this, we have to discover whom that we are. Though sometimes it is through our expression that we do this discovery. By their works shall thou know them is a powerful truth. This expression constitutes my works ... or perhaps I should say our works because there is definitely an other than conscious component involved in their creation and I still don't know whether it is wholly me or something external to me. What I know is that the works exist. This expression comes forth nearly everyday. How it comes forth is still very much a mystery ... even after over a decade. I find it amazing that such would be the case. It seems that I would have figured it out by now. But, I have been so focused on the expression, that the mystery of its creation did not bother me. In fact, if anything, it seemed appropriate.
Our lives unfold in accordance with a plan that was scripted for our life before we entered this existence. We created the script to conform to our needs to express and experience whom that we are. We did this in concert with those whose lives we would touch ... setting up the scenarios for the realization of any relationships that we wanted to jointly pursue. Our reality unfolds in accordance with a plan for our spiritual progression and evolution. In any one existence, this may be optional ... but, overall, we have no choice but to evolve in awareness and to act in accordance with the level of awareness that we have achieved. OK, we do have a choice, but the more aware that we become, it seems the more obvious our choices become as well ... to the point where there is only one right choice. And, when there is only one right choice, effectively we have dropped our need to choose, realizing that spirit's choice is the right choice for us.
How does source manifest in your life? You see clearly how she manifest in my life in all that is expressed here. The vast majority of this is her expressing through me. How do I know that? Because I have no other way to explain it. The material just comes forth automatically. It appears in my head and I type what I hear. It says that it is not to be distinguished from me. Yet, at the same time, it does not come from the parts of me that I consciously know, other than this inner voice. Is this my own thoughts? I've asked myself that many times. But, much that comes forth does not seem to be of the nature of thoughts. There is a lot of original material that comes forth. There are a lot of quotable passages. Much of this doesn't seem to be based on what I have read or seen before.
The most powerful connection that we have to source is our intuition. It pays to develop this connection. Many train their mind to operate logically but pay little attention to developing their intuition. They would be much better served to do the opposite. Though, there is some benefit to achieving a balance between logic and intuition. Both together provide a powerful toolset for reality creation. We will need a full set of tools in our tool chest to survive and excel in the days ahead. The new age calls for us to do things differently. In particular, it calls for us to express differently. The best place to find out how to do this is from source. It will be different for each of us. The best way to access source is via intuition. This too will be different for each of us ... though some of the methods for accessing source may be similar.
This expression is an extreme. Here, I allow source to manifest through me for nearly 3 hours per day. That is a major time commitment for a free time endeavor. But, I am committed. You might also consider me to be crazy. And, you wouldn't necessarily be very far off the mark. Though, if this expression is the manifestation of a crazy man, we should all be crazy. The world might be a much better place. Then again, that is only my opinion. Take it or leave it, as you will. I have nothing to prove. What comes forth stands on its own. Judge it solely based on its utility in your life. That is the only measure of merit that matters.
Express whom that you are. Manifest the destiny that is yours to manifest. Make your mark on the world. Do something, anything, that makes a difference. Make sure that you leave the world a better place for your having lived. That is what ultimately counts in life. Did our life make a difference ... preferable a big difference, but a substantial difference will do.
15 May 2003
I got a referral to an interesting website today that presents a picture of spirituality from a different perspective. The site is from a Russian, but he is heavily steeped in Eastern yoga and spirituality. I found his works interesting nonetheless. The terminology is different than I use, but I found that I could relate to many of the concepts anyway. It seems that there is a certain universality about spiritual truth. The question is how did this person find me, and why today of all days? There is a message that I am supposed to take from all of this. There is a sense that I need to take some time to tie what I know to the existing body of works of others. One can only remain isolated for so long. At some point, one needs to start making connections. It seems that I have reached this point. I need to make it easier for people to relate what I have expressed to what they already know. In some respects, this is nothing new. We are all spirit expressing in flesh already. Most of us just don't seem to be aware of this fact.
So, what should be the focus of today's musing? It seems that we've already begun. Let's focus on what it takes to establish connections ... connections to works, connections to people, and connections to organizations. Everything that we express has a context that somehow ties it to the body of knowledge that has come before it. Yes, some things seem to just come out of the blue ... but if we look we will find that they are related to things that others have done or are doing. We may have to do a little searching however. Isolated facts, isolated information, are of limited utility. It is in knowing how information is connected that its power becomes apparent. Indeed, knowledge is power. However, it is powerful only when it is in the right minds and only when it is used effectively. It is for us to hone our knowledge skills to achieve this. We need to be careful about power however. It is one thing to have the power to control our own lives and our own destiny. It is quite another to have power over others. The later gets us into the political realm. And, here, it seems we still have much to learn. Politicians are not high on our list of most trusted professionals. It seems that they come in about at the same level as lawyers and used car salesmen.
Back to establishing connections. One level of connections is between the information that we generate and similar information that others have generated. This may be historical information or contemporary information. The similarity may be loose or it may be tight. With loose connections, there is almost a leap of faith required when making the connection ... or perhaps an intuitive jump of some type. Tighter connection can be as much as logical derivations or conclusions that result the connected information. In still other cases, there may be parallel discoveries of similar ideas expressed in different ways. This happens when the world is ready to experience something. When the time has come for an idea to take root, it seems that multiple consciousnesses are receptive to that idea concurrently. They may be in different parts of the world and have no real connections between them. Yet, they come up with the same ideas at about the same time.
A separate level of connections is between people, the conveyors of the information. Here, we may have colleagues collaborating, or friends sharing, or even strangers becoming acquainted with one another. Whatever relationships are necessary for consciousness to express what must be expressed will be established. There is no question about it. That is simply how life works. There is a divine order to everything. There is a divine script that is being played out. Each of us has a role to play ... often many roles, in the evolution of the expression of consciousness in flesh. That is what it is all about ... consciousness expressing in flesh. That is what the reality games that we play are for. There is no higher purpose than this. The greatest expression occurs when we cooperate and establish interdependent relationships that allow us to do the things that we see need to be done, and that allow us to express in accord with the highest abilities and talents that we can muster. It is through being the best that we can be collectively that we enable spirit to express most fully in flesh. We are the instruments through which spirit expresses ... we are her hands, her feet, her legs, and even her mind.
Above and beyond connections between individual people are connections between organizations or between our works and the organizations that are meant to consume them and be moved by them. I've spoken of there being an audience for the works of Beyond Imagination. At this point in time, I don't know who this audience might be ... but I trust that it is out there and that somehow these works will find whoever they are meant to touch. It seems that I may have a larger part to play in this than I had supposed. I was happy to leave it to consciousness to spread the message to wherever it needed to go. It seems that this may have been overly optimistic or naive. Consciousness works through us. If things are to happen, they will happen by and through us. We have to take responsibility. Yes, spirit will ensure that what needs to be done is done. But again, not by doing it herself ... rather by doing it through someone or some group.
I am entering a new phase of my life, one in which I have a much more conscious role in choosing my destiny. If I want to see something manifest in the world, then I need to do something to make it so. This may be something completely within my power to do ... or it may be something that I can only do by soliciting the cooperation of others. Either way, I will know what is mine to do and it seems that I will be seeing far more of the later than the former. Cooperative interdependence is how we create the synergy necessary to do great works ... and these are great things that we are trying to achieve. How do I get others to cooperate with me in this? What would I have them do? My sense is that master planning doesn't work in this day and age. What I would have people do is what the spirit within them moves them to do in line with the overall goal of creating the foundation for spirit to more fully express in flesh. We take our orders from within. Interesting, because there is only ONE consciousness expressing through us all, these orders will be coordinated. So, in effect, the central planning happens automatically. However, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't help it out where we can. We have tools available to help plan and implement large projects. We use them for DoD projects all the time. There is no reason we can't apply them here as well. Though, on second thought, looking at the status of many of these projects, perhaps the tools aren't so useful after all.
This is a time of transition for me. Exactly where it will lead, I do not yet know. I am taking steps to bring Beyond Imagination to the public in a whole new way. Within a few weeks the first book should be published. By three months from now, the second book should be published. Yes, so far we are talking about self-published, but that seemed to be the most viable option for the moment. Will other alternatives open up in the future? We can hope. These first two books show what I am capable of ... or, more correctly, what spirit is capable of speaking through me. Do I have what it takes to publicize the books? It will be a stretch, a big stretch ... but, I believe the answer is yes. I will do whatever it takes to succeed in my mission, and I see this to be an integral part of that mission. There is a sense that I need to make Beyond Imagination my fulltime job as well as my passion. That means deriving my income from it. The prime candidate for a means for doing that is via the sale of books. That means making this expression my meal ticket, as they say. I believe that such is meant to be. The only question is when. This is what I love to do. It only seems right that it should be what I am paid to do. Further, if I can do as much as I have out of the sheer joy of doing it ... I can't even imagine what would come forth if I could be doing this full time each and every day. I've experience the added efficiency that comes from synergy when you work 60-80 hour weeks for extended periods of time at work. I'd love to see what I could do applying that same amount of energy to Beyond Imagination.
There is a sense that wonders are in store in the days, months, and years ahead. We have a society and a world to create in whatever image we would choose to fashion it. We are that powerful. We are creators all. We have chosen to live in a time when what we dream, what we imagine, can be manifest in short order. But, be advised, be careful what you wish for ... you just may get it and have to live with it for awhile.
18 May 2003
Yes, we skipped two days of musings to go on a 1000 mile driving trip to attend a wedding of a relative on my wife's side, and to briefly visit some friends. We took the two furry kids, Daffi and Teddy, along. Overall it went pretty well. The mission was accomplished and we survived. I took along a hardcopy of 2003 Musings - Vol I with the intent that I would do some proofing each evening. However, the first night, I was exhausted from the drive. And, last night, we didn't get to our hotel until after 11 PM. So, my good intentions were for naught. That is OK. There is always next weekend. I have four days off. That should be enough to do a pretty thorough job.
Tonight's musing is going to be shorter than usual. It is already 11 PM as I write this ... and it has been a long day. But, I didn't want to go another day without expressing if I didn't have to. Usually, once I get into it, it flows pretty well. I wouldn't know how to make this happen ... it just comes forth when I allow it to happen. That means stepping aside a bit and relinquishing control to spirit. Over time, I have learned that this is not such a scary thing to do. Spirit can be trusted to act in our best interest ... not necessarily individually, but collectively. No, this does not mean that I am advocating the good of the many over the good of the one. We need to find ways to reconcile this so that we do both ... so that the many benefit while each individual benefits as well. We are individuals for a reason, yet a great deal of our power comes from the organizations within the collective that we choose to participate within. Cells are individuals as well, but their glory comes from choosing to participate in the organizations that are our bodies. In making this choice, they allow something to be created that is far grander than the collection of individual cells. It is the very organization and acceptance of restriction, or roles and responsibilities, that allows the body to be created. Is it the same for us. Does our glory come from the organizations that we choose to participate in. Only, as more capable entities ... our choices have the potential to yield far greater results.
However, when we see lack ... we are not living up to our potential. When we see poverty, when we see hunger and starvation, when we see homelessness, ... when we see all of these things, we as a society are failing in major ways. It is not that we don't have enough. We have the resources, we have the technology, we just don't have the resolve to make the problems our problems and commit the resources to fix them. And, not just in this nation, but on a worldwide basis. But whose responsibility is this? We are one people on one world on one planet, this spaceship Earth. Further, we are animated by one consciousness. At what point are we going to drop some of the country boundaries and start seeing one another as the brothers and sisters that we are. We have far more in common than we have differences. Though the reality we experience may be quite disparate. That is OK. We are meant to collectively explore and experience a great variety of experience. There is nothing to be gained by repeating the same old lessons time after time. Each of us is a unique spark of consciousness, and we will see the world in a whole new way that no one has ever seen before. Oh, it may be similar to the way of others. And, if we are not careful, we may suppress the unique elements ... as is done by many religions. We have to be vigilant if we are to live an authentic life. We have to be ever watchful that whom that we are is expressed fully in what we do in the world and not squelched. This is within our power to do. Nothing can block our expressing whom that we are unless we allow it to. So, don't allow it to. It is that simple. Express whom that you are as fully and completely as you can each and every moment of each and every day. And, should you fail, don't beat yourself up about it ... just go back to doing it.
What would I do next? As always whatever I am moved by spirit to do. Is that a valid answer? Or, is that a copout? Does this put spirit in charge of my life and make spirit responsible for what happens? From one perspective, indeed, it does. However, because I make this choice, it also makes it my responsibility. There is a sense that it is time to take Beyond Imagination public in a way that I have not yet done. Apparently, the web site is not enough. The intention was there ... and I did a great job populating it with information. However, there is a lack of ties to the outside world. This was intentional. Beyond Imagination was intended to offer a picture of Wayne's World ... however crazy that might be. I think I've done an outstanding job of sharing this. Though, much of the credit must go to spirit. Without the stream of consciousness flowing from her ... most of what is expressed here would not exist. Yet, at the same time, it is not all her doing. This expression is likened unto having a baby ... both parents are equally responsible in creating the child, though the female has the responsibility to carry it to term. It seems like I am the father in this case and consciousness or spirit is the mother. Though, it is through my mind that these thoughts must ultimately be given birth. That is the faculty that is connected to these fingers which type these words as they are spoken in my head. No, I don't hear them in my ears. But I do hear them in my mind.
19 May 2003
Back to our normal daily pattern of musing. I need this expression in my life. It makes me feel as if I am doing something important, as if I am capturing something of lasting value. Whether it is of lasting value or not, only time will tell. I still have a driving need to get the word out ... to broadcast this expression in some way. Yes, the books are one way and feel right. But, they are not the only way. It seems that I need to be more personally involved in making people aware of this expression. It is not enough that I participate as the vehicle through which the expression is generated. That is only the starting point. Unless the expression finds those who are meant to see it and those who are meant to hear it, it will not have the impact on the world that it is meant to have. As the author, I have a role to play in this. It is up to me to nurture my expression and see that it grows to have the impact that it can have. But, what about the que sera, sera attitude? Why am I not content to allow whatever will be to be? There is another saying, if it is to be, it is up to me. In this we declare our power over the events not only in our lives, but potentially in our world.
We might as well make this the topic for the evening ... to what degree do we need to actively promote the change that we desire to see in the world? It seems that if we don't take the responsibility for doing this, it just won't get done. In this, we are literally spirits hands, legs, arms, eyes, ears, mouth, and brain. It is through us that she affects the world. Yes, it seems this occurs through some of us far more than through others. That does not matter. That is dependent on the roles that we came to play. We are not meant to be compared one to another. The only comparison that is of any utility is that of what we could be versus what we are, that is how close are we living up to our potential? The operative principle is be all that you can be. In doing so, the assumption is that we will be the best that we can be. One thing is for certain ... we will be surprised by what this "all that you can be" is. We can literally work miracles when we allow spirit to operate as fully as possible through us. And, in the process, we can make not only our life, but the lives of those we touch into masterpieces. Actually, for the later, we can only be wayshowers and enablers. It is up to each to decide to make their own life their own masterpiece and do what it takes to learn and develop the skills to make it so. If enough of us do this, we can make the whole world our spiritual masterpiece. And then ... look out, there is no stopping what we can manifest how quickly. The new age is upon us. It is only fitting that we establish new foundations and a new infrastructure to support us in this age. We can hold onto some of the best of what has worked in the past. But, we need to honestly assess how well it has worked before we adopt it in our new world order. Yes, that is what we are creating, a new world order ... hopefully, one that is fair and works this time, far better than any past orders have worked.
I toss my pennies for others to find. How else would there be a supply of lucky pennies? Yet, I realized that I could survive for the remainder of my life on a few pennies per person in this country. That means each person would need to pay me 2-3 cents over the course of the next quarter century to do whatever I do. That is not a lot when you look at it that way. I need to do something with my life that is worth a few pennies to everyone in the society in which I live. That should not be such a difficult thing to do. You can't buy much for a few cents. When you look at it like that, this seems like an easy task. However, much that I do will never be known by more than a small fraction of the population. How small of a fraction remains to be seen. It is not yet clear who is meant to find and read this expression of consciousness. Whoever it is will do so when the time is right. Though, it seems that there may be things that I can do to facilitate making the time right. Even then, I have to trust consciousness to move me to do those things that are necessary when I need to do them.
This year is different somehow. There is more of a need to produce tangible products from this expression. It is not enough just to post material at the Beyond Imagination website in hopes that someone will find me. I need to increase my exposure to make it easier and more likely for others who are meant to find me to do so. This I can do. And, this I am highly motivated to do this year. That means stretching for me. It means being more of what I can be ... even to the point of being things and doing things that I have not done before. That is OK. Stretching is good for the soul, as well as the body and the mind.
The sense is that for things to happen now ... we must do what it takes to make them happen. They will not manifest of their own accord. It takes our energy and our intent to feed them and coax them into being. Perhaps it has always been that way. Yet, for much of my life, it seemed like things were on automatic. My life just happened ... seemingly as it was intended to happen. I had no reason to believe that I should live my life in any different way. Now, however, the feeling is different. It seems that my life needs to be my conscious creation. That means taking control of my life in a way that I have never really done before. Then again, from another perspective, perhaps part of the problem is that I've had too much control and as a result have been overly restrictive in how I have expressed and experienced reality. Anyway, those days are over, or at least numbered. It is time to create a new life of my own choosing, one in which I am free to be and express whom that I am in ways that go beyond anything that I have done before. This expression is a start in that direction. But, it is only a start. It needs to grow into an interactive experience with others. At least, that is what it seems to require at this point in time. Where do I go to find these others however? Occasionally someone who finds one of the works at Beyond Imagination contacts me. However, this does not seem to be an effective way of finding those who are ultimately meant to be introduced to me and my works ... or spirits works through me.
What changes do I desire to see in the world? I would build the foundations that allow spirit to express more fully in flesh. That is not asking for much. All it takes is cooperation and increased awareness, allowance, and acceptance. We build a better world by building better organizations in which to participate in and from which to get goods and services. How do we know what organizations to build and what goods and services to produce? For the first, we will be moved by spirit to organize appropriately into the forms necessary to express spirit more fully. For the second, we need to observe and anticipate what people need and offer it unto them even before they need it sometimes. For some things, we must ask before we receive. But, there are many other things where this is not necessary ... where as spiritual beings we have a natural entitlement. Although, along with the entitlement comes a great responsibility. Collectively, we have a responsibility to and for one another. We are not meant to live isolated lives. Oh, that works for a few hermits among us ... and perhaps in the long run I am indeed meant to be one of these. It is curious that one who dreams of building the foundations for a society would be so isolated from others. Yet, here I am, definitely a hermit in my own eyes. And, it seems that my eyes are the ones that count. Is this a permanent condition? Or, is this something that I can choose to change? And, if I can change it ... do I choose to change it? The bottom line seems to be that if I wanted it to be different then it would be different. Yet, there is a sense that I do indeed want to see some changes in this area of my life. However, there are many things about how I presently experience reality that are to my liking ... that I don't really want to change.
It is not clear that I have any real choice in the matter. There is a destiny that is playing itself out in my life. I will go where it takes me and do as it moves me to do. Typically, I have little foreknowledge of what this will be. That is OK. I've become accustomed to operating in the midst of the unknown in my life. I trust that spirit knows what she is doing. In particular, she knows where she is leading me in the dance that is my life. The best that I can do is find a way to enjoy the process. The destination is often not the most important thing while we are on the path ... rather, it is finding a way to enjoy the journey. There is always a way to do that. However, we may have to challenge ourselves and step beyond our limitations to find this. This is a challenge well worth taking. It results in following a whole new life path ... one that is right for us as nothing else that we have ever experienced. We will know it is right in our heart, in the seat of our soul. It is important to let our intuition guide us in this endeavor. It knows far more than most give it credit for, even me, and I give it a lot of credit.
We create our own reality or we do not. Those are the only two possibilities. The first is so obviously true that I find it difficult to think that there might be people who believe otherwise. I've believed this pretty firmly for nearly 30 years, since I first discovered the Seth material by Jane Roberts. Wow! Can it really have been 30 years already? That's two-thirds of my life. At this point, I don't believe that I have another 30 years left. 25 would get me to the ripe old age of 70. That would be sufficient for me. That takes us to 2028 or so. That leaves a lot of time in which to make my mark on the world. Though, at the same time, there is not a lot of time to waste. The past 10 years have flown by. There is no doubt that the next 25 years will pass by even more quickly ... especially if I am able to transform what I love to do into my occupation. We're working on this now. In the meantime, we continue to volunteer to expend close to halftime on our spiritual job.
20 May 2003
The days continue to march on, and I continue to come here to express whatever spirit would express through me. This is a stream of consciousness. As such, I have limited control over what comes forth and how it comes forth. I say limited, because it does indeed seem that I have some influence in this area. The focused musings are a case in point. I seem to be able to reign the expression back in to the topic of the day. Then again, it may be spirit doing this through me as well. Spirit is an active part of my life ... a very active part. So active in fact, that I cannot imagine living my life without her. I wouldn't want to. Yes, she is that important to me. Yet, what is she? She is a source that I am able to connect with somewhere deep inside of me. It is from out of this source that all of this flows. This stream of consciousness expression is the direct tap from that source ... filtered through my own consciousness and mind as necessary to be expressed physically in this manner. Hopefully, the filters don't distort the message too badly. My sense is that they don't, that I am pretty clear overall. But, who knows how much fog I have on my glasses? Whether the world is as I perceive it is a matter for philosophy. My reality is clearly as I perceive it ... but this can change in an instant if I decide to see the world in a different light. We each live in the shadows of our choosing. Most of these are imposed by the belief systems that we have accepted. To change what we experience, we need to go to the source, and change the core belief systems. This is not easy, but it is not difficult either. In fact, it is child’s play. We were adept at it as children. We need to return to some of the glory of our childhood and relearn what we instinctively knew then. Being an adult does not have to be difficult. Our lives can unfold before us effortlessly. Though, many prefer the challenges of problems of various types ... and hence engage in them. This is a choice. It is not a requirement. We can live our life peacefully and effortlessly. But, what's the point? We might as well be dead. We need some drama in our life to keep things interesting ... to keep us awake. Uncertainty can do this to us as well. The unknown has a way of shaking up our lives if we allow it to. Generally, this is for the better, when all things are considered, though it may be difficult to account for all things.
Often, it seems that we go through life with blinders on, unaware of the vistas that lie immediately ahead of us as well as all around us. We can remove the blinders. We can see. But, only if we truly want to do so. Everything starts with the desire to do something. One desire that is helpful to have is the desire to do something meaningful, something grand with our life. However, we need to take this a step further and start doing things congruent with this. We need to act in a meaningful way ... we need to act grandly. Yes, this is a grandiose way of looking at life. But, that is how I see it. It matters not to me whether it is grandiose or not. It is what it is, and that is enough for me. I would express as spirit would have me express. Nothing less that that is sufficient, nothing more than that seems possible. Spirit knows what I am capable of ... even more than I do. She generated these words and made them known to my mind.
I would speak in this manner for so long as the words continue to flow forth. How long that will be, I cannot know for certain. I've had one major period of greatly reduced expression that lasted nearly three years. And, prior to 1993, I was effectively quiet for my entire life to that point. So, what changed in March of 1993? Why did I suddenly feel moved to write? And, why did I accept the expression as a natural part of my spiritual development? Curious. I never really questioned the expression that I was experiencing. I considered it to be a natural outgrowth of all the selfwork that I had done for so many years. I saw it as a massive spiritual awakening, a spiritual rebirth. It didn't matter that no one that I knew had any comparable experiences. It was OK for me to be the first. And, now, over ten years later ... in many ways, I am still alone in my experience, that is with the exception of spirit. She is always with me. How could I be alone with her ever by my side? In many ways, I feel lucky and blessed to be able to live the life I have lived, and especially to express in the manner that I am able to express here. There is something powerful about spiritual expression. It consumes us ... yet, it exhilarates us at the same time. In a very real way, I am what is able to be expressed through me. You shall know me by my works ... and right now, this expression is my works. The sense is that this will remain so for as long as I live. Expressing in this manner is that important to me. Yet, things can change. I might find it necessary to do things differently at some point. That is OK. Things evolve. Circumstances change. We need to evolve and change with them.
I am amazed that even after over a decade I have not yet found others with whom to share all of this with. Part of the problem is that I wouldn't know where to start. I have expressed what can be expressed through me. Yet, there is far more from where this has come. It is not clear that the stream of consciousness will ever end ... at least not until I die, and perhaps not even then. My sense is that the form will change, but that the energy behind this expression will continue to exist and will find other ways to express when this particular channel is exhausted. But, that is still some time into the future. We have a new world to create ... we have foundations to build. We have dreamed of grand things and have kept our castles in the clouds for far too long. It is time to plant the foundations under them and bring them down to earth. This we can do now. The time is right for this to happen. It is a matter of choosing to do it in sufficient numbers to constitute a critical mass. The world is ours to make of it what we choose. However, it is up to us to choose and to do what it takes to manifest our choices. Choice without action in accord with the choice is no choice at all. It is action that makes choice real. And, we are in the business of reality creation at the moment ... more so than at any time in history. Oh, we have always created and been responsible for our reality. It is just that now the time lag between thought and manifestation is shorter than ever before. This gives us awesome power. But, it also gives us awesome responsibility to go with it. We have to be careful not to abuse what we have been so freely given. We are meant to be stewards ... caretakers of the things that are under our stewardship, one of these being the very planet. On a collective level, we have a new set of responsibilities as well. They come in two flavors: responsibilities from the collective to individuals, and responsibilities from the collective to groups or organizations of people. We need to meet our obligations. This imposes responsibilities on individuals, for the collective does nothing except through the work of its individual constituents. This is OK, so long as from an individual perspective we see that the gain is worth the pain. Actually, that is a pretty negative way of looking at the situation. There is nothing that says carrying out our obligations has to be painful at all. In fact ... it could involve doing the very things that we love doing as I am doing now.
What would I do next? It always seems to come down to that. How do I evolve to the environment and conditions necessary to carry out my mission on a full time rather than a part time basis? Is that an option at this point in my life. I am 45 years old. I figure I have another 25 years or so in me to finish out my existence and accomplish what I came to do. Let's see, dividing by 5, that puts us at the 9/14 point in my life. That leaves 5/14 remaining. That is roughly a 64/36 percent split. Interesting. 64 is the Ten of Swords. The number was actually 64.2857 so we are on the way to 65:King of Pentacles. That is abundance in a major way. It is curious that my new license plate ends in 640 as well. Not much surprises me anymore. But I do find many things to be curious. Hmm ... just noticed that 9/14 just happens to be 1/2 + 1/7. The half way point in my life was quite significant for me. It was roughly the year that I awoke spiritually and this expression began. That was the 35 year point. 1/7 takes us ten years later to this year. 2/7 takes us another ten years forward to 2013. That could indeed be another major turning point in my life.
There is a sense that much change is in store for the remainder of the year ... definitely in my life, and perhaps for the world as well. Yes, there is just over 7 months left in the year. But, that is an eternity if the time is used effectively. If not, it is but a brief moment and what might have been will not find its way to manifestation. Some things, it seems are destined to be. Other things depend on us to make them so. And, even for those things that are destined to be, when they manifest may depend on what we do. Yes, we possess that much power. It is for us to learn to use it effectively.
I started out good, but I'm fading rapidly. There is only so much that I can do these days. Lately, I've been more tired than normal. I don't know why ... just an observation. We do what we can when we can. More than that, we do what we must when we must. Mine is a life of obligation, but it is a voluntary one. I willingly accept the responsibility to do what is mine to do ... trusting that spirit herself will show me what this is when I need to know it. That's how it has worked to date in my life. I have no reason to believe this will change anytime soon. Our reality is created out of what we choose to do in each moment. The present moment is always the point of power. There is nothing we can do to change the past. And, the power we have over the future comes from what we choose to do here and now. It is out of the moments that the future is ultimately built.
Consciousness is the key that unlocks all the doors. In fact, she is the very mansion of the Self. She is the stuff in all of the rooms behind all of the doors. I praise consciousness a lot. She has been a positive influence in my life, in fact, the most positive of influences. This is a stream of consciousness expression. What do I mean by that? Simply that it comes forth automatically as a flow of consciousness revealed to my mind. I do not feel myself to be generating it. Yes, I participate in creating it. But, it seems more from the standpoint of mapping an energy pattern to my vocabulary to create this expression.
21 May 2003
I have a strange feeling as I begin this musing today. It will be interesting to see where it leads. Something is different somehow, noticeably different. Yet, I don't really know exactly what it is. That is OK. I am comfortable with the role that the unknown plays in my life. It makes for some interesting experiences, especially in the realms of consciousness. We are free to explore these realms to our hearts content. Though many seem to be driven more by their mind and their emotions. That is OK too. It doesn't matter how we get there ultimately ... other than that it helps greatly if we find a way to enjoy the process. In life, it is the journey that is the thing ... it is what we experience on the way in our day to day lives that matters most. We can make this whatever we choose to make it to be. We are powerful creators one and all. It is time that we realized this and used our natural abilities to benefit our society and our world. But, do we have to? The bottom line answer is yes. If you have reached this far and are still reading this, then this is what you need to hear at this time. 52 crossed my mind, this is 4 x 13:Death. Is that where we are at ... a 13:Death experience in each of four dimensions? Indeed that could be exactly the case. But what does that mean? How would that be experienced? In numerology, we break things down into four dimensions: Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Intuitive. Are these the same four dimensions that we are speaking of here? It seems that they could very well be. What kind of breakthrough are we talking about? How do we increase the degree to which spirit expresses through us in all four of these areas? Actually, it is really all 9 of these areas, since each of the four are really groupings of the nine digits from 1 through 9.
What do I need? First and foremost, an environment that allows me to fully express what spirit would express through me, and that allows me to be all that I can be. It seems these two things go hand and hand. When we are fully expressing what can be expressed through us ... we are being the best that we can be. To fully be something, we must do something. Yet, it works the other way around ... to fully express, we must be whom that we are. That means finding out what this is for us. Yes, for us. The paths are not the same for all. Each path has its nuances and peculiarities. That is OK, that is what gives life some of the richness of diversity that we experience. But, as the saying goes, you can have too much of a good thing. What prevents me from having this environment here and now? Is this something that I can create for myself ... or is it something that others need to be involved in? Much of this environment already exists. This expression is a testament to that. Yet, I can dream of what might be if my Beyond Imagination work was my full time job. However, for that to be ... I need an appropriate level of compensation derived from the works created to date and the works yet to be created. As of yet, that has not been forthcoming. Though, there is a sense that this time things are different. Change is definitely in the air in a way that I have not felt it before. I have grown into a person different than I have been before ... one ready to take on the world in a whole new way. Whether that happens or not, it seems that we shall see soon enough. The sense is that the universe won't keep us waiting for long. There is a collective destiny that is unfolding and my individual destiny is somehow intricately tied to that.
What else do I need? The biggest thing missing from my life is relationships with people. These are few and shallow overall. Yes, this is my fault, I have not really made an attempt to connect with others. Part of this was a marked preference for solitude and for doing things on my own. Along with this was a love of freedom and independence. However, years ago I realized that independence was a farce. We are connected and interdependent in so many ways that we cannot exist without one another. Further, we cannot do anything without impacting others or the environment in which we live. Yet, we remain a country proud of our independence, so proud that we celebrate Independence Day as one of our major holidays in this country. It seems that at some point we will see the error of our ways and realize that what we really need to celebrate is our interdependence. That is not to say that independence was not an important step in the march of history. It is just not enough. In a rapidly changing world, forms and organizations either need to evolve or they will die. Flexibility is critical. The forms that are necessary for spirit to express elegantly will indeed manifest. There is an overall plan for the evolution of consciousness that will ensure this. The timing may be a bit variable ... but even there, it seems that much is occurring in accordance with plans. I don't have insight into what these plans are. Perhaps I never will. But, I do know that what I am moved to do by spirit is in accord with these plans. That means that this very expression is meant to be somehow. What impact it will ultimately have, I may never know. That is OK ... I must do what I am moved to do anyway. I have a sacred obligation to fulfill ... an obligation to spirit that involves being of service to my society and my world in a manner that only I can be. That is the key. Find a unique way to serve. Find a way to serve that uses the best of what you have to offer. If we all do this, society and the world benefit immeasurably.
That is all well and good. But how do I do this in a manner that makes this my life's work? Is that what I truly desire at this point in my life? The immediate answer is yes, I would make the expression that is Beyond Imagination into my life's work. I would pursue it with all my mind, my heart, and my soul ... and with all the resources that I could muster. But, I want my needs to be taken care of in exchange. That is a simple thing to ask for. It is expected from the social contract. There is no doubt that I would be productive and hold up my end of the contract. However, how does society fill its obligation to provide me with all that I need? I'm in the process of doing things that give the universe some new options. In particular, by self-publishing books. However, are there other services that I could offer as well? It is time to start thinking out of the box. If I truly want to be self-employed doing what I love to do for a living ... then I need to start thinking differently about how I function in the world and about the goods and services that I am able to provide. If we keep thinking in the ways that we have always thought, and keep doing the things that we have always done, then we will keep experiencing the things that we have always experienced. If we want to change our experiences, we need to think differently and act differently. It is that simple. I'm ready to change my reality. And, I would do it not now, but yesterday. That's some pretty serious talking ... but is it more than that? Am I really ready to do whatever it takes? I'm not ready to leave the security of my present job before I am covered by something new. I tried this in 1993 and got into some financial trouble. And then, there was a job transition in 1996 when I was out of work without pay for several months causing some addition financial hardship. Now, I feel the need to be secure in whatever the new source of income is prior to considering leaving my present position. Though, there is a sense that this is exactly what is destined. I am not meant to be working for another ... not for much longer anyway. Then again, I can go back to 1993 and 1994 writings and probably find similar declarations. What is different now? There is just a sense that the time for my liberation is at hand. And, that this primarily involves my financial liberation ... but with that, flows into all other aspects of my life, freeing me to do what I know that I must do ... and be whom that I know that I must be. How easy or difficult this will be depends wholly on me. If I allow spirit to continue to be the driving force in this expression as I have for so long, it will be easy ... perhaps even incredibly so. If I try to force things and do it myself, it will be too difficult to accomplish. That makes it simple to see the benefit in living a spiritual life at this level of expression.
How is it that I have any idea of what I am talking about? How can I go on and on and on like this? It would seem that the expression would get old or repetitive after awhile. But, as far as I can tell, this is not the case. Then again, my memory is such that I am not such that I would know if it did or not. Oh well. So long as I am moved to express, I will continue to do so. I trust that all of this is coming forth for a reason, hopefully many reasons. I know that I learn a lot from what is expressed. I believe that the potential is there for others to learn much from this expression as well. It just seems like such a waste if all of this is coming forth only for me. Though, I do consider myself blessed. However, from another perspective, we experience what we deserve to experience. Given what has come forth, I must have done some very big things right. OK, the grandiosity again. But, it is hard being humble when you have spirit speaking through you for several hours per day. Though, this seems to be an area that I need to work on. There is a sense that it is getting in the way of my progressing to the next phase of my life.
How does my life's work tie into the works of others? What are the interrelationships and interdependencies that need to be established and/or recognized? Is there a way to consciously connect with the people that I am meant to work with on inner levels prior to connecting with them on outer levels? My sense is that to some degree other than conscious connections are already in place, we are just not aware of them. However, I am driven to make the process conscious now. This goes along with making my life much more conscious now. I've been content to accept whatever came for too long ... though, what came was generally very good overall. There is a sense of a young bird being pushed out of the nest. It is time to spread my wings and fly. And, it is time to take control over my own destiny. I am ready to do that in a way that I have never been before.
What do I have to offer? This stream of consciousness expression is the chief "product" that I have generated. Is this sufficient to be worth something to someone? In particular, is it worth the cost of a book and the time it takes to read it? That is not something that is for me to answer. I believe the answer is yes. And, clearly, the book is well worth reading to me. But, I'm far from impartial on this topic. I guess we'll know when we see what kind of sales are generated in the coming months. What is someone who can express in this manner worth? This expression is not the product of common skills. Yet, what do these skills make me qualified to do that others cannot do? Why have I lived my life so isolated from others to date? Oh, there have been a few exceptions ... but they are quite rare. I still spend the vast majority of my time alone. This applies to both my work time and my free time. I find this curious. It is especially curious since I am so moved to build the foundations for a better society. Maybe this will change as I start to find those who have the same dream that I dream. Clearly, there must be a group of people with similar tasks and missions to perform. I can't be the only one charged to do this. There is a lot that I can do to get the ball rolling, but it will take the work of many to complete the foundations that are needed. Perhaps I am meant to be the initiator. That is consistent with my Aries nature. Getting things started is one of my strong suits. That begs the question of whether I will see what I start come to fruition. The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter. That it gets started and that it unfolds as it is meant to unfold is all that matters. This does require that I handoff the work and the vision to someone or some group to carry out. At this point, I don't know how that might be. However, my sense is that when the time is right, it will be obvious. That doesn't mean that I don't have to do what I can to seek them out. They may find me ... but, more likely, we will find one another.
It seems that I am missing something. I have over 20 years of experience in engineering and systems engineering related work. In addition, I have nearly 30 years of education/ training in metaphysics. Further, I have over 10 years of metaphysical expression that shows that I am far more aware than most. These three things distinguish me and make me uniquely qualified to do something better than anyone else can do it. Whether it is something that some company is willing to pay for or not is a different question. Yet, how can I turn it into something that society pays for? After all, it is ultimately society as a whole that will benefit from the work that Beyond Imagination has done and will do. Here, the options seem limited. A benefactor is always a possibility. But, the sense is that is like winning the lottery. Though, the difference is that I have done ten years worth of expression up front. Publishing and selling books is another possibility. It allows a larger portion of the population to share in sponsoring the work. Continuing to sell my services to an employer is another possibility. Though, if I'm going to do this, I need to find a way to love the job that I am doing. I'm not there in my present position. I'm sure that there are other possibilities as well. I'm open to what the universe would bring into my life. Though, I sense that this is also a case where if I really want the situation to change, then I need to take the initiative and do something to cause it to change. Part of that is to reach a point where I am sufficiently dissatisfied with the status quo that change is mandatory. I'm headed to that point, but it is not clear that I've reached it yet. Actually, it is clear ... because the situation hasn't changed yet.
It shouldn't be hard to find one's natural and rightful position in the world. One should gravitate there as easily as a star does to its position in the heavens. Yet, it doesn't seem to work like that for some reason. The infrastructures in society are not set up to recognize who we are and to allow us to assume our rightful place in society. This is part of what I am here to help fix. Do I know how to do this? I know that what I see is not working efficiently and effectively. I know that many resources are going untapped and others are vastly underdeveloped and underutilized. When this happens, we all lose the benefits of the added productivity that could have been ... potentially productivity that could have even created new things that had never before existed. We cannot afford to waste the potential of our people. It is that simple. We must find ways to create the social infrastructures necessary for people to express whom that they are in service to society in exchange for what they need. No, this will not be easy. But, then, there is nothing easy about the present system.
22 May 2003
Well, yesterday was quite productive. That is the most that I've mused on any one day since my birthday on 8 Apr. It felt good. It would be even better if I could do this as a full time endeavor that I was paid well to do. That later condition is important. The warning be careful what you wish for came to mind just before I added that. And, indeed, I do need to heed this warning. But, there is no doubt in my mind that this is what I am meant to do. This expression allows me to exercise parts of whom that I am that have never been tapped before. Because of that, it is quite special. I know that, and I am very grateful for that. Whether others have tapped similar parts of themselves is of little concern to me now. I am moved to express what can come forth through me, and in particular, those things that can only come forth through me in this manner. I don't ask for much in exchange ... my needs are relatively meager compared to what I am able to do and moved to do. Oh, I do desire nice things and experiences beyond those that I have experienced to date. But, overall ... this is an adjustment in my desires, not a major change in my needs. I'm just more aware of what I need to allow me to feel happy and fulfilled. Much of the time at present, I don't feel this. It is not that I am unhappy. Rather, it is more a matter of being indifferent, neither happy nor unhappy. Part of this comes from not being in a position to follow my bliss. Or, at least, not feeling that I am in a position to do so. What I feel and what I am may be in conflict with one another. Happiness is an inside job, it is something that we do to ourselves. Someone said something to that effect. And, they are correct. The only place to find true happiness is within. Further, it is there waiting to be found ... we just have to look for it sincerely.
How do I find a way to follow my bliss all of the time? There must be a way. Clearly, this benefits my society and the world more than my present work circumstances do. Then again, is there a bigger picture that I am not yet seeing? Is there a larger context in which my present job fits that will ultimately have me use my natural talents and abilities to my utmost in service to humanity, my world, and spirit herself? These are very important questions. But, they are question that need to be asked and need to be answered. As always, the best answers come forth from within. There is a place inside of each of us that knows all that we could ever want or need to know. However, it takes effort on our part to find that place ... and to communicate with it. It takes effort and it takes desire. Never underestimate the power of the later. It is amazing what we can do when we are properly motivated. But, we also have to believe in what we are doing. Otherwise, we cannot put our whole heart and soul into it. And, this is required for us to be the best that we can be, and to fully express what spirit would have us express. I leave a lot to spirit in my life. I know of no other way to live. I must account for the fact that this expression has manifest in the manner that it has. In particular, that forces me to deal with what it means about the nature of reality and the nature of spirit as she expresses in flesh. Yes, forces. Each day, I am confronted with a miracle ... with the expression from a source that is unknown consciously. Yes, this means that my very life is miraculous ... but no more so than that of any other. That you are alive and aware is a miracle, the miracle of life. It is a precious gift that we have been given and that we continue to be given in each moment. We need to make sure that we don't squander that gift. We do that by making sure that we do something that makes a difference with our life. It doesn't matter whether it makes a difference to one or to one million ... it just needs to be an important difference, a difference worthy of our having lived. It doesn't hurt to be kind to one another in the process. It is amazing how much benefit comes from kindness ... even simple acts of kindness. Also, it doesn't hurt to make these random acts of kindness ... kindness for kindness sake. When enough of us do this, our world will be all the richer for it. This is not hard to do. At first, it may require going out of our way a bit. But eventually, it will be a natural part of our expression. Such acts will be our habitual way of interacting with the world. That is when the magic happens. That is when the power of synergy takes hold and multiplies our individual efforts many fold.
If I were king how would I change things? What changes to the current system would have the most impact toward creating the world as we desire it to be? One major challenge is where power exists in the current system. Even though we are in an information age, the economic giants still wield the most control. These are multinational corporations that extend beyond the boundaries of any one country. They control the world by controlling the markets for goods and services ... and in doing so, effectively control the economic lives of everyone. Oh, there are entrepreneurs who operate as free agents and are able to make their fortunes or at least their livings in niche markets. However, there are not that many of these relative to the numbers employed by the major corporations. Is this not the result of free enterprise operating in a free market? It is and it isn't. We don't really have free markets. Everything is constrained. Yes, the argument given is that it is for our own good. It was felt that without the constraints the economy would not work. It seems that it is time to question this and give the alternatives a try. How do we go about doing this? How do we open up the economic system to allow people to express more freely and create and exchange goods and services more freely? That is not a trick question. There is a way or multiple ways to do this. We have only to seek them out, find them, and implement them. We can create the society to be anything that we collectively want it to be. That is the key ... collectively want it to be. What I want is not important except as it relates to what we want. Everything else is local chatter. It may have impact in my personal life, but it will not ultimately impact the role that I play in the world. The biggest changes I would make, however, would be (1) to implement the social contract and (2) to establish a program for assisting people in knowing whom that they are and what they are capable of. This later step is crucial. Until we know whom that we are and what we are capable of ... we have no idea where we fit within the fabric of society. Without that knowledge, we cannot determine what we are here to do and how best to go about doing it. This society should facilitate. When it does, everyone benefits. When it doesn't everyone is all the poorer as a result. It is time we take responsibility and erase poverty from our world wherever we can. We start doing this by not generating any more poverty. But that is only the first step.
The consciousness is a mystical and magical place, but it can also be a frightening place. I have walked to the very edge of sanity many times and lived to tell about it. You can choose to do this for yourself, or you can choose to learn from my lessons as you see fit. A third choice is for you to simply walk away as if I and this expression had never reached you. I wouldn't advise that. If you are reading this, there is some reason that this expression has crossed your path at this time. I invite you to stay awhile and evaluate what we have to offer. If you find no value or utility in what comes forth, then do move on to another teacher who may be more to your liking. Is there utility in what is expressed here? What possible utility could there be? As a stream of consciousness expression, this material provides an example of what is possible to come forth from spirit through one who is receptive to doing this kind of work. It should impress you in terms of its quantity and its quality. I know it does that for me ... and I've been observing it happening for over a decade. Yes, this expression is over two months into its 11th year. The Musings since January 2002 have been particularly challenging to explain. That is a streak of nearly 17 months of virtually daily expression. So, what is special about this time? Why is the expression so prolific now? I believe that it has to do with some of the transpersonal energies at play in my astrological chart ... but, why does not really matter. What does matter is that I am moved to express, and strongly moved at that. And, I am following through and finding the time to express. This is a major choice that I make regarding how I use the free time in my life. But, I have to do something with my free time. And, at this time, I can't think of anything more valuable. Beyond Imagination is meant to do some great works before my life is complete. At this point, Beyond Imagination is still an organization of one member. Perhaps that is appropriate. It reflects my present reality anyway. But, this is not as I would have it. It is time to create an interdependent support group responsible for carrying out the work that Beyond Imagination was created to carry out ... namely the building of the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. Yes, that is a tall order. However, I accept responsibility for it fully. This is what my life is meant to be. This is my destiny. I would share that destiny with any who feel moved in the same manner. I've known for some time that this is not a burden that I can bear alone. Yet, I will bear it on my own until I encounter others who offer their assistance. Whether this will happen in 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, or 10 years ... I have no means of knowing. However, it will happen in spirit's timing and her timing is always the right timing.
There is something about this freeform expression of consciousness that makes it different than other writings. I have nothing in my own life to compare it to. I don't do any deliberate writings. Everything is spontaneous expression. Yet, somehow it hangs together. No, not necessarily from paragraph to paragraph or from day to day. But, overall, there is an organization behind all of this. That the organizing force is unknown or is other than conscious, doesn't change the fact that there is an organizing force. Whether that be consciousness, or spirit, or even some part of me of which I am not consciously aware does not really matter. Clearly, there is an intelligence that is revealed here. There is a knowingness revealed that is beyond what I have the right to claim from my experiences in life to date. Where does this knowingness originate? How can so much of this expression be expressed in the declarative form, as if there was no doubt as to its veracity? I simply observe that it is expressed thusly and note that there must be some part of me that knows of what it speaks. This is not fiction that we are writing. This is not the stuff of stories. I've never been one to read much fiction. The closest I come is watching movies ... but that is a different domain than that of the written word. Hmm ... some people reading the material at this site might very well think they were reading fiction. None of it is substantiated. None of it is proven. It is what it is, the truth as I see it, stated as consciousness would reveal it through me.
What would I do next? It seems that it always comes down to this question. And, the answer is always the same. Do as you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. But, I am not a puppet hanging on some strings to be moved at the whim of some puppetmaster. I am a free being, with a mind and spirit of my own ... and with a will that can be used in the service of spirit as I would choose to use it. But, the old issue of my will versus thy will arises. For you there is no such issue ... know that your will and my will are ONE now. What you would do, I would have you do. What I would have you do, you would do of your own accord anyway. There is no separation between us anymore. I am taking steps to liberate myself and to get the word of Beyond Imagination out to more of the world. It takes time to see whether any of these steps will have the desired effect. In some cases, we can only wait and see. However, in other cases, it seems that there are things that are within our power to do that will make a difference. In particular, here, I'm speaking of whether the books that are published will be a success. It is not clear how much of this is in my control. However, my sense is that more of it is in my control than I might suspect. That is OK. I'm ready to do what it takes to make the changes necessary to open up my world to the world. It seems that this is important now. So long as it is only Wayne's World, effectively it is just a dream ... a vision in the clouds. If I can transfer that dream into the minds of others so that it becomes their dream too, then perhaps together we can do something to manifest it and make a real difference in this world.
23 May 2003
The proof copy of Best Passages from 2002 Musings finally arrived from the publisher. It looks much like the file version that I sent them. The cover is growing on me, but the font they used for the title is annoying. It is courier, or a close relative. I've never really liked it. Somehow, I expected something more artistic. Oh well, I guess you get what you pay for as the saying goes. At some level, this must be right somehow. There is a sense that spirit is guiding the process every step of the way. Infinity Publishing seems appropriate as the publisher for a spiritual work. The ball is in my court now. I need to proof the work and get it back to the publisher. I already started doing this. With any luck, I'll be done by Memorial Day. I was going to proof 2003 Musings - Vol I anyway. That will just have to wait another week or so. It is exciting to see a book with my name as the author. And, a substantial book at that ... 522 pages worth. In doing the proofing, I am reminded of just how special this expression is. It is unlike anything that I have ever read before. Hopefully, others will find that to their liking. There is so much expressed. Each page, each passage has its gems to offer. It is difficult to believe that all of this could come forth through me ... much less do so in a single year. Yet, that is only about the fourth of it.
I have no idea of what to expect regarding marketing of Best Passages. This is a completely new venture for me. The publisher has some marketing packages that offer some guidance that I can order ... and I probably will. As soon as I know where the publishers internet "bookstore" is, I can announce that the work is available and generate a link to the site. Beyond that I can bring a copy of the book to work for people to see and browse through. I really am an author with an ISBN number for a book. That is still sinking in. It is one thing to generate words. It is quite another to package them as a book. I cheated a little. I'm missing some of the up front sections and table of contents that many books have. Instead, I started with a short two page introduction and let the passages from the musings speak for themselves. Unlike many authors, I didn't have hoards of people to thank for their contributions toward bringing the work into being. Spirit herself brought forth the stream of consciousness and as far as I know, I am the only one that read it. Not that I didn't make it available. Musings were posted in most cases on the day that they were generated. Whether they were read or not ... was not for me to know, at least not yet. I know this because if I were meant to know, I would know.
It is not clear where all of this is leading. But, there is a strong sense that I am going to like where it takes me, wherever that is. This is what my life has come to. The time for my destiny to unfold is near. And, if this is true for me, it is true for untold others as well. They will know who they are. They will be having the same strong sense that the hand of destiny is upon them. What we are here to do is literally written in the stars and the planets. Though it takes special gifts to read what is written. No, I don't have such skills. I've only been given the gift to notice patterns of significance. I have to rely on others to tell me what the patterns mean. So far, this has been somewhat hit and miss. The patterns that I am looking to explain are not patterns that are typically important to most astrologers. Then again, that shouldn't surprise any reading this. Wayne's World is quite a unique place. It is not the world that most people experience, not even close. This very expression is a case in point. From where does it come? What is this thing called source? Who in their right mind would freely choose to spend three hours per day expressing in this manner? Surely, you must be crazy! Yet, I have no sense of being crazy. I am as sane as any man alive. OK, I admit I do tend to walk on the edge every now and then ... but how do we know what our limits are if we don't test them from time to time? And, sanity is no exception. I am the first to question my own sanity at times. However, the very fact that I have the presence of mind to question it generally means that I am still sane. I've only gone off the deep end twice ... both times for about two weeks. I don't know that I want to do that again. Three strikes and you're out comes to mind.
It is still sinking in ... the fact that I really do have a real book in print, or close to print anyway. Further, it is composed of material that did not exist prior to 1 January 2002. So, this is a recent expression of consciousness. The final words for the book were generated on 31 December 2002. So, we will literally have manifested the book within 6 months of the time that the material was generated. That is amazing. For 2003 Musings - Vol I, I'm trying to cut that to within 3 months. That is about as close to realtime as you can get since the publisher takes 6-8 weeks. So, we could have a second book ready in early August if I get it to the publisher in the next week or two. The title seems to be missing something however. I guess we could precede it by BEYOND IMAGINATION as we did for Best Passages. Hmm ... and maybe use a similar cover design with a different color such as purple perhaps. Then again, that is why we have publishers. Though, I'm not really paying much for services. However, I am having to do nearly all of the formatting, editing, and proofing. So, I'm not really buying much in terms of services. Yet, for $400, one can self-publish a book ... including getting a simple cover design, ISBN, proof copy, proof corrections (limited), and submission to Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com. It was actually quite simple. The publisher was very clear about the format for submission of the book. Overall I am pleased with the process thus far. I would have like to have been blown away by the cover. The art part was quite good, but the text font left me a bit flat. However, it is growing on me. Perhaps it is even OK. There are other forces at work in these things. Whoever got the assignment to create the cover was meant to be selected for that task. And, he or she did as she was moved to do and created what they thought was a good cover for the book. Who am I to question that process? Then again, if I truly don't like something about it, far better to speak up now than try to fix it later.
One of the down sides to print-on-demand self-publishing is the per unit cost of books. The up front cost is reduced substantially. But, the books are 50 to 100 percent more expensive than similar conventionally published books. However, when you don't know what the market for the books will be and you don't have the money to invest in printing many copies of books up front to get the unit cost down ... it seems there is no other choice. The issue then becomes whether the book is worth its cost? Actually, the cost is not a major factor. If the book is going to be read, time is an even more important issue. I don't know how fast others read ... but five hours is probably not excessive for reading a 500 plus page nonfiction book. At roughly $30, that is $6 per hour ... slightly more than the cost of going to a movie. However, with the book, you can choose to pick it up and reread any portion of it at any time. Further, the nature of this book is such that it is filled with gems of wisdom from consciousness. Often, they pronounce things that I didn't even know that I knew. Consciousness is ever a mystery. I trust that she will continue to be for all of my days. Actually, I forgot to observe that a book can be shared ... it can be read sequentially by more than one person, thereby reducing its cost even further. None of this really matters. The economic forces are what they are. Those who are meant to read Best Passages from 2002 Musings will find a way to acquire it. My sense is that many will be introduced to the Beyond Imagination site from this book. And, perhaps I'll start getting some of the feedback that I've been asking for ... perhaps more than I am ready for. Then again, we'll face that if and when it happens. No use worrying about things that may or may not be.
We have the foundations for a new world to create. It is within our power to do what it takes to create these foundations. That may mean that we have to tear down old foundations that no longer serve us. However, we need to be careful when we do so. We need to do so for the right reasons. This needs to come from an impartial assessment of the utility of the foundations. Along with this we need to assess how we distribute and allocate power in society. This is an area that got us into much trouble throughout the Piscean Age that we are leaving. We don't want to keep making the same mistakes in the Aquarian Age. Actually, we won't be able to, even if we desired to. The new age is upon us. We must live in accord with its demands. First, we must learn what these are. It is not clear that we can go outside of ourselves to find this. The answers that we seek lie within. Some find it easier than others to connect within. That is OK. They can serve as wayshowers and share what they find with those whose inner connections are more challenged. You see here the results of connecting to a source within. What that source is, I know not. All that I know is that it is able to speak through me ... and it does so as long as I choose to be of service in this manner. For nearly 17 months, that has been a lot ... close to three hours a day. How long this will continue, I have no way of knowing. I am elated that it has continued this long and that the material that comes forth is as rich as it is. This is clearly part of my life's work ... part of what I came into this incarnation to do. But, I would do more than just express these words. I would live them. I would build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. Yet, this does not seem to be something that I can do on my own. This expression I can engage in for a lifetime. I need nothing further to allow me to express, other than the natural progression of my awareness over time. But, the work of building foundations is work that involves others. Here, I don't even know who these others are yet. I just know that when it is time for us to work together we will meet and we will recognize one another for whom that we are.
26 May 2003
Finished reviewing the proof copy of Best Passages from 2002 Musings. I missed two days of musing, choosing to spend my time on completing Best Passages, rather than on this expression. It had to be done. The sooner the better as far as I am concerned. Overall, it went pretty well. I only found 47 errors in 522 pages. The only "errors" that I ignored were questions without question marks. I'll have to do better on checking for this in future works. Most of the errors were minor typos. There were a few formatting errors. And, occasionally, there was an incorrect word. I didn't have to do any rewriting of sentences or paragraphs. I didn't have to do any deleting or addition of material. Overall the book was pretty clean. From here, it takes another 3-4 weeks to complete the publishing process to the point where the book is available for purchase. So, we're talking the last week in June or so. Now I need to decide what to do with 2003 Musings - Vol 1. It seems a catchier title is warranted. But, this could be an indefinite series of works. There could be three in 2003 if the pace of musings continues as it has. Taking a more leisurely pace to do the proofing prior to submittal, 2003 Musings - Vol 1 should be ready to go to the publisher by the middle of June. That's another $400 out of my pocket without seeing the results from the first work ... but it's only money. That's a small price to pay to have a second book in my portfolio. With 8 weeks for the publisher to do their stuff, and a month to proof and correct ... that would put the publishing date in mid to late September, roughly 3 months after Best Passages.
I still have to pinch myself. I am really an author, a published author. Or, I will be very shortly anyway. Yes, there are things that I could do better. And, I'm sure that each book will improve as a result of my lessons learned. But, I can honestly say that I did the best that I could. I put in an "A+" level of effort into this endeavor. Hopefully that will show, and others will be as moved by the material as I am. One thing I noted was some repetition. The social contract from each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs was mentioned at least half a dozen times. Each time the context was a little different, but that says something about how important this contract is. I was a little leery seeing it so many times because most people are still turned off by anything that smacks of communism. However, I know very little about communism. What I do know is that these simple words elegantly express a spiritual truth. This is indeed the contract that needs to be established for the Aquarian Age to flourish.
It is strange getting back to musing after a two day absence. It is even stranger that even though I spent in excess of 12 hours closely reading Best Passages over the past few days, I don't recall anything of what I read. How can that be? I can remember being aware of myself reading the book and finding the errors. I can remember being entertained, impressed, and amused by what I read. I can remember having the feeling did all of this really come through me? I can remember being pleasantly surprised often by what I read. How is it that with such a large investment of time, my recall is so poor. Actually, 12 hours is just the tip of the iceberg. The 2002 Musings took close to 1000 hours to generate, plus another 100 or so to distill into Best Passages. This is a significant portion of my life last year and part of this year. How is it that I can remember so little about it? If I didn't have this record to go back to, I simply would have no memory of what has come forth through me. Hmm ... I wonder if others experience this in the same manner? I know some people have a photographic memory. Mine seems to be the opposite of that. In fact, it is not clear how my memory functions. I've always been horrible with names and with dates. Further, if I knew that I could refer to it somewhere, I did not typically commit it to memory. Even when it came to vocabulary, my efforts were mediocre at best. I wasn't interested in using the dictionary or the thesaurus to look up words or to find related words. Perhaps that is why my characters per word count averages in the low 4's. I speak simply overall. Yet, even so ... out of simple expression can come the most profound of thoughts.
There is something refreshing about this expression. This is where I come to be whom that I AM. This is also where I come to express as spirit will express through me. That seems to be contradictory. But, it is not at all. I have found that I am being the best that I can be when I allow spirit to express as fully as she can through me. This is not a sacrifice of my self or my freedom in any way. It is a choice to be of service to something greater and grander than my highest sense of self. It is a choice I freely make. Yes, of my own free will. I would be what I AM. I would express what can be expressed through me ... even knowing that I know not exactly what that is yet. Oh, I've seen a lot expressed in the decade since this expression began .. but, the sense is that you ain't seen nothing yet. What is still to come will literally knock your socks off. Interesting. It seems that we are in for some exciting times in the days, months, and years ahead. Only time will tell.
I'm curious as to what will unfold in the remainder of the year. We're down to just over 7 months, just over 4 months if you go by fiscal year boundaries. At the rate at which the days are passing ... this will be gone in no time. Though, we have much to do in the days to come. At this point, I don't even know what many of the tasks will be. However, I know that there will be many, and they will be different than things that I have done before. Hmm ... this does indeed feel true. We have entered a new phase of our life. The publishing of Best Passages is a breakpoint. It signifies going public in a whole new way. This is the beginning of the outward expression. At this point, it is the very beginning. It will be interesting to see what feedback comes from this. Though, the work stands on its own merit. It is the expression of source, pure and simple. As such, it is beyond any judgment or criticism. That doesn't mean that it won't attract some. People react in different ways to what they read. However, their reaction applies more to their interpretation than to this work. That doesn't mean there won't be some constructive feedback that is beneficial. And, the work may indeed start to bring you in contact with the kindred spirits that you seek. There is still an uphill battle however. Publishing a book and getting it into the hands of those who are meant to read it are two different things. The first is by far the easier of the two. Though, you may find that you enjoy the second just as much. There is an opportunity for the Leo Rising in you to shine. It's about time that you developed more of whom that you are anyway. You've become far too set in your ways. Flexibility is quite important ... flexibility of body, flexibility of emotions, flexibility of mind, and flexibility of consciousness. You've focused almost exclusively on the later. That is OK, but it would help to reflect this in the other three areas as well.
What is it that I want? Unlimited abundance in exchange for applying my services for the benefit of spirit and hence the world. Interesting that I would state this as a conditional. Further, interesting that I would need unlimited abundance ... yet, if I am to speak for the ONE, such is indeed what is necessary. Is this too much to ask for? My sense is no ... this is exactly what we need to ask for and what we need to work for. Yes, whether we get what we ask for is to a large degree determined by what we do.
My mind is bouncing all over the place. The possibilities seem endless. There is so much to do. Right now, my time seems to be the tightest resource ... and there is every sense that I will be more busy in the days and months ahead, not less. Though, there is also a sense that I will be busy in different ways than I have been ... in particular, in far more productive ways. Publishing Best Passages was a giant leap for me ... a bigger leap than I yet know. Though, much depends on whether people find the book. Those who are meant to find it will do so, however, we have a role to play in helping the process along ... and a major role at that. Will I like this new role? My sense is yes. It will be different from things that I have done, but it is time to stretch out of my box a bit. I've gotten too accustomed to operating in the way that I do. It wouldn't hurt to do some things that surprise some folks, perhaps even me. Ping ... ping ... ping ... the energy is still there. I just saw a spider walking on the edge of a poster board. Weave me a peaceful world ... that is the message of spider. Are we in a position to be able to do that now. Can Beyond Imagination become a force for change in the world ... a powerful force for change? It seems that indeed it is time for this to happen.
On the drive back to Redondo Beach this evening, I realized that Self-Publishing is an effective way of making material available in a much nicer form than copying it at Kinkos. In an 8.5 x 11 format, the Best Passages would have come to around 250 pages, resulting in the cost for bound copies at around $25. With Self-Publishing, a $400 setup fee makes the material available as a book, with copies printed on demand and delivered within a few days. The book can be ordered indefinitely for $28.95 + s&h. Whereas, if more photocopies are needed, the originals have to be brought back to the copier and redone. Also, from what I've seen, the quality of the printed book is far better than that of the photocopied materials. Actually, if you work from the wholesale numbers, the book price comes in at closer to $18.00. The $400 setup fee gets offset by any royalties generated by the sales of the book ... so this is double counting in a way. However, we do need to see at least 100 copies sold adequately cover this. Then, there is the whole matter of the labor that goes into the work to consider. For Best Passages, we have said that was roughly 1100 hours of my time x $100/hour = $110,000 as a round number for what this is worth. Another figure that I've used is $1 per word. I think there were about 150,000 words in the book. Actually, there were three to four times that if you count everything expressed in the 2002 Musings from which the passages were chosen. So, at the high end, we're looking at $500,000. Wow, that is a lot. Is it really worth that? How do we put a price on creative expression? ... especially when that expression comes from spirit? It seems that we will see soon enough what it is worth in the market. The final changes should be complete within three weeks and the book should be available for purchase a week after that.
27 May 2003
Another day to express whatever will come forth. We never know what that will be. That is what makes this expression magical. That is what keeps it interesting despite the countless hours that go into it. Though, I cannot imagine doing anything better with my time. Here, I am capturing something special, something that I have not seen capture in this precise way anywhere else. Ultimately, I believe there will be some great value in what I am doing. Whether I will live to see it ... that may or may not be. Regardless, I am moved to do it anyway. This is how I express whom that I AM. This is as natural to me as breathing. I believe that this expression will move many during the course of my lifetime. We have expressed a lot in a decade. But, that is nothing compared to where the next quarter century is to take us. I believe that to be the timespan for the rest of my work on this planet. That is not a lot of years. I don't expect to live to a ripe old age. But, I do expect to live fully and to make a major difference with my life on a worldwide scale. Yes, that is grandiose thinking on my part. However, I do believe my role is such that I am meant to have world import. I came with the abilities to make a difference on that level. Whether I do or not depends on how I use the gifts that I have been given. I would use them to serve spirit and thus society and even the world.
I sent the master list of corrections and the proof copy of Best Passages back to the publisher today. That completes my role in giving birth to the book. The next step is promoting and advertising once the publisher has made the corrections and made the book available for sale. I chose to buy a marketing package to help me get started in this area. I'm curious to see how well it is done. There is some reason Infinity Publishing was right for this work. The company name just struck me as appropriate for publishing a metaphysical book such as this. Also, it didn't hurt that their prices were so reasonable. The saying you get what you pay for came to mind. Yes, this is budget publishing. But, the main product here is the content of the book ... and the package is more than adequate as a conveyance for than content. Could the cover be better designed? I'm sure that it could. But that would require the services of an artist and additional cost. We could also add table of contents, indexes, and ... but that is added work that cuts into our time to bring forth new material. Perhaps in a second edition that is formally published, such things might be added. But, for now, getting the work out in a decent form at a reasonable price is good enough. Roughly $30 for the fruits of 1100 hours of effort is very cheap. That is less than 3 cents per hour. Yes, very cheap indeed.
So, where next? It seems I have a few weeks before the marketing phase begins. Do I have what it takes to market my book? Effectively, this amounts to marketing myself. For, what I express is very much whom that I AM. Hmm ... what does it mean to market myself? I have not thought about this in this way before. What is it that I am selling, and to whom? What I have to give is what can be expressed through me. That is a lot, as evidenced by what has come forth in the past decade, and in particular, in the past 17 months. How long this will continue in this manner remains to be seen. Though, it seems that so long as I am willing to commit the time to this expression, it will indeed continue to come forth. The only question is whether at some point other activities will take priority over this expression. I am limited to 24 hours per day 168 hours per week, just as everyone else. If you subtract 8 hours per day for sleeping, that leaves only 16 hours per day, 112 hours per week. Used efficiently and effectively, it is amazing how much we can get done in that time. However, it is also very easy to waste the time away in a variety of less productive pursuits. Then again, it is up to us to define what is a productive use of our own time. We innately know what this is. We cannot fool ourselves unless we so choose. For me, this expression qualifies as the most productive use of my time ... primarily because it leaves a record of a stream of consciousness that may ultimately benefit others. I would like to believe that it will benefit many others, but that is up to spirit. Though, I know that I must do my part as well. Further, that part may be different than anything that I have done to date. That is OK. I am ready for something new to come into my life. I welcome whatever changes are to come. I know that whatever they may be, they are necessary to allow spirit to express more fully through me, and to allow me to be all that I can be.
It seems that it is time to teach some of what I express. Best Passages could be used as a textbook. That would be one way of generating sales. Where would I hold such classes and for whom? How would I find students? Would these be physical classes, internet classes, or both? There is no reason to limit how spirit would express. It seems that I need to be open to new possibilities. It is time to think outside of the box ... outside of conventional ways of doing things. I do this often. But, now, it seems I am being pushed to do this more than ever. Word of mouth advertising will be extremely important. Since my contacts are few ... I will have to rely extensively on those who are moved by my works sharing the word with their network of contacts. Though, it seems that in addition, I will have to increase my visibility and circle of contacts. By their works shall thou know them. Getting the works out will allow many to come to know me. These are intimate works. They reveal a level of thought, feeling, and knowing that is not generally shared. Yet, as a wayshower, it seems right to show that consciousness can indeed express in this manner. Some will be comforted by this because it will validate their own experiences. Others will be surprised by this since what is expressed will be quite foreign to what they experience. That is OK. By seeing that another experiences in this way, it opens up new possibilities for their own experience. No, it may not happen right away ... but there will be chinks in the armor that clothes the self ... and these chinks will eventually expose the true self that lies beneath. Interesting. I don't believe that I've expressed anything quite like this before. It always amazes me when new expression springs forth from source. Though, you would think that by now I would be getting used to it. However, it seems that the longer that I am involved with spirit the more mysterious she is, not less. Then again, perhaps that is to be expected as well since my ability to comprehend grows larger over time as well.
I feel truly blessed. In particular, that spirit would take such a personal interest in my life ... and take the time and make the effort to express through me as she does. This is not ordinary stuff that is expressed here. This is clearly extraordinary! Then again, I have a highly biased view of what I am able to bring forth into expression here on these pages. No, this is not poetry ... but it is prose of a high order. It is not fiction ... though I don't bother to prove what I say either. What is expressed comes forth in the declarative. It has done so since the expression began just over a decade ago. While I ask a lot of questions, it does not seem fair to question the integrity of the source of this material. It is enough to use the measure of utility to determine whether the material has merit for us. If it is useful and provides benefit ... then by all means use it. If it does not measure up from a utility standpoint, move on and find something that is more applicable to your needs at this time. Though keep in mind that as you grow and develop, your needs may change, and you may find this material of value to who you have become. Sometimes we are exposed to something the first time just to become aware that it is there. That encounter sets the stage for a deeper encounter later in our life. Just be open to lessons from spirit from wherever they may come. Often these encounters are as a pebble thrown into a still pond. It takes awhile for the ripples to affect the smoothness of the surface. However, this assumes that the surface is somewhat smooth to begin with. It takes substantial effort to smooth our minds so that spirit can come through to impact us and to do her works through us.
Oh, if I could only do this on a full time basis and with a small bank roll to back me. I could easily have half a dozen Beyond Imagination books published by the end of the year. I don't know that I can do that part time. But, perhaps if the motivation is strong enough. Further, if the first book sells decently, it can serve as a source for funds to publish the others. The Early Works would make a decent book. Best of Notes would probably be split into two books. And then two more volumes of 2003 Musings brings us to half a dozen. That is well within reach. Though, the final volume of 2003 Musings would not be released until about March 2004. That is a lot of work to sign up for in addition to the daily musings and whatever marketing activities I'll need to engage in for Best Passages. Also, there is always the task of building the foundations for a new world to consider ... and establishing whatever relationships that entails. Everything takes time, and time is such a precious commodity. Yes, I do desire that my circumstances change in a manner that allows me to do this for a living ... preferably a decent living, at or above the present level that I am accustomed to. That only seems fair. I'll pour far more energy into this endeavor than I do into my present job, and I already do more than most. This indeed is my dream job. This expression is what I love to do.
If I do end up completing all six books identified above ... that will mean that from the time the first book went to the publisher until the time the sixth book was available for purchase would have been less than one year. Considering most of the books will be on the order of 400-500 pages, that is quite impressive. Though, only the 2003 Musings book material will have been generated in 2003. The Early Works were generated from 1993-1994. And Best of Notes were selected in 1997-1998 from Beyond Imagination Notes generated in 1993-1996. Though converting these works from their present web format to a format suitable for publishing and cleaning up the grammar and spelling is no small task. I don't mind however. It gives me the opportunity to go back and revisit the states of consciousness that I was in at those times. How many of us have a means for doing this? And, I do it in a manner that I just happen to share with you.
A formatted book of quotations might be interesting to do. It would be a Messiah's Handbook of sorts ... in Beyond Imagination style. It also might be interesting to pull together some topic oriented works that might even rearrange the order of passages so that they are no longer time sequential. Thus far, in all of my selections, the editing has been to cut things out, but the relative order of what remained stayed the same. I don't know why ... it just seemed that this was the right thing to do. I don't feel so constrained anymore. There is a decade worth of material to pull from. It seems that I should be free to use it in whatever way is helpful in conveying whatever messages spirit would convey. Actually, it seems time for me to take some responsibility and start conveying my own messages. That is an interesting way of putting it. Yet, it rings true. It is all well and good for spirit to speak through me as she has. But, we need to take the next step and find ways to allow spirit to speak as me as well. This might also be expressed as for me to speak as spirit. That is indeed the next challenge. I'm definitely ready to take the next step ... wherever that might lead.
Efficiency and effectiveness ... it all comes down to elegance. Where can my talents be put to the greatest use for the benefit of spirit, of society, and of the world? That doesn't seem to be in my present environment. Then why isn't this changing? Why am I still in my present job? Yes, it is sufficient to pay the bills. So, you could say it is society's way of satisfying its part of the social contract. But, it doesn't fully employ my talents and abilities. Is that because it can't by its very nature? Or, is that because I am not applying myself in a manner that allows it to do this? Hmm ... that is a far more empowering way to look at things. The job is what I make of it. And, there are elements of the job that I like. Yet, I still go back to the deep seated feeling that this is not what I am here to do. Rather, it is this stream of consciousness expression and the work of Beyond Imagination that are my life's work. They are where I will ultimately make a difference with my life. Having a series of Beyond Imagination books is the starting point. This is how we take the works public. The WWW reached some folks, but nowhere near the numbers that we had anticipated when we started posting material in 1995. It is hard to believe that was nearly eight year ago. I still remember converting Beyond Imagination: Foundations for Creating a New World, Reality Creation 1010, and several months of Notes files to HTML format using some very crude editors at the time. Things are much easier now. Thank God! Netscape Composer is my tool of choice. It is WYSIWYG and quite easy to use.
So, will I find a way to free myself to work full time on Beyond Imagination endeavors? I believe that I have the self discipline necessary to do this. However, it is not clear that I've fully developed the skill set that I need. I say that because I believe that is what the challenges in my present work environment are there to provide. Though, it is not clear that they are really doing that. There is a saying where there is a will, there is a way. In this case, what is it my will to do? Once I decide that, the means will make itself known. To shift jobs, I need an equivalent or better income coming from the new job at the point of transition ... including consideration of benefits. Really, it should be far more than this because my output will be far more in the new job. Also, any extra puts me in a position of being able to hire the services of others to do some of the things that they can do ... freeing my time to focus on those things that only I can do or that I do best.
I need to start thinking more in those terms. My time is limited and is a highly valued commodity. I can do a lot in one hour. I can create roughly one page of original nonfiction expression. What is this worth? What value can be placed on creative expression? I have no way to quantify it? The suggested worth that has come forth is $1 per word. That is a nice round number. We'll have to see whether the universe comes through and delivers this or not. I suspect that it will. This does indeed seem to be a reasonable sum. Unfortunately, there is no place I can go and say here's my 3000 words for today, please pay me $3000. The words will ultimately have to work their way into a book and then book sales will incrementally pay for them small fractions of a cent at a time. Hopefully, there will be enough sales over time to cover the worth of the material.
Looked at another way, this same 3000 words is consuming just over 4 hours of my time to generate today. However, that does not mean that I'm asking for $750/hour for the 4 hours of writing time. You have to consider the prep and training time that went into developing this consciousness so that I could express in this manner. Literally, that involved tens of thousands of hours over 30 years ... none of which was compensated in any way. If I could express in this manner 300 days per year, or roughly six days per week, that would be $900,000. Another 11% and I break into seven figures. I could definitely live with that ... and LOVE doing it. Could I find enough to express for 4-5 hours each day? From what I've seen so far, that would not be a problem. But then again, we've only been doing this with this frequency for 17 months and we average under 2000 words per day. However, we have a job that requires 40 hours a week taking away a big chunk of time.
28 May 2003
The days march on. Yesterday was quite productive. 3000 word days don't come that often. I've set 2000 words as an informal threshold that I try to reach each day. It gives me something to feel good about achieving. It just happens to correspond to about 3 hours of expression. 3000 goes well beyond that ... 50 percent in fact, to the 4.5 hour point. That takes most of my free time to achieve. But, it feels good doing it. We take each day as it comes, one day at a time ... and do what we are moved to do that day. It is spirit herself that moves us. How can we know this? What other force is there? Hmm ... indeed, that is an interesting answer. But, it does seem to be a correct one. I'm more motivated now than I have been in some time ... though, primarily motivated to get Beyond Imagination works ready for publication so that as soon as the money becomes available, the works can be sent to the publisher. That is a lot of work that I have signed up to. However, there is no one else to do it. And there is a strong sense that I need a number of books in the Beyond Imagination stable to give me credibility as an author. By the end of the year we should have combined works totaling in excess of 2500 pages. That is no small feat. In fact ... that is something of a miracle. Yet, it seems well within my capability to pull it off. Much of the material already exists. It just needs to be edited and put into the proper format. Fortunately, for stream of consciousness material ... the editing required is relatively minor. Though I do make some annoying grammar and spelling mistakes that can be difficult to catch.
There is still a sense that I need to do the editing and formatting work to create new books in addition to this expression rather than instead of this expression. That means committing more time to Beyond Imagination than I have been in the past. That might be difficult. I was at the 20 hour per week level already. But that is not really pushing me to the limits of what I am capable of. And, it seems that for the remainder of the year anyway, I need to push myself to the limits of what I can do. The energy is right to manifest this year. It seems prudent to take advantage of that to whatever degree that I can. That means doing whatever it takes. That means rising earlier and sleeping less if necessary. That means expressing more than I have ever expressed for longer periods of time than I have done so in the past. Yet, it seems that I am up to it. It will be a challenge, yes. But it is one that I willingly accept. This is my life! This is where I will make the greatest difference to the world. These words, this expression, are what will remain long after I have gone. Getting them into book form makes them permanent in a way that posting them at the website does not. The website could go away at any time. If Redshift went out of business, it would be a mess having to relocate the works at the Beyond Imagination site to anywhere else. There are too many hardcoded links that would have to be changed. With books ... there is a different type of freedom. The books can be printed at anytime and shipped anywhere. Yes, there are definite benefits to this format. Further, you can carry books with you and read them wherever you wish without having to be tied to a computer and to the internet. These are good things. Books have always been an important part of my life. It seems only right to be in a position to generate a few of my own, or maybe even more than a few depending on how spirit moves me. My sense is that she will move me strongly ... and that I will perform up to both her and my highest expectations. Be all that you can be! That is one of the directives of spirit. It is here that I feel that I do that as I do nowhere else. This is easy for me. The flow of consciousness is natural. I am meant to be doing this. I know it. Yet, there is a sense that I am not yet reaching those whom I am meant to reach, those whom these words are meant to impact. That will change. What I do in the next several months will change this. My destiny is close at hand now. I am living the life I am meant to live ... or coming as close to it as I can at this point in time anyway. I need to stay flexible and observe how the universe responds to my efforts and react accordingly.
My books are my children. Can I really go from one to five or six kids by the end of the year? That is a little over seven months away. Yes, that is a lot of work. But what else do I have to do with my time that could be more important than this? The bottom line is nothing! This, by far, is the most important work that I am engaged in. That is always true of spiritual work. To do this, we'll need some cooperation from the universe. The publishing cost involved is around $2500. We'll need sufficient sales of Best Passages to fund the births of the remainder of these books. That is reasonable to expect. As few as 300 sales would suffice. That seems like such a small number to achieve in 4-6 months. But then, I have no experience in this area yet ... so, I really don't know what to expect. Though, I would hope that we might add at least a zero if not two zeros to the end of that 300. We can always hope. What will be will be. We will see soon enough, one way or another.
Spent several hours putting together The Early Works comprised of the Beyond Imagination book, Reality Creation 1010, and Best Quotes from the first ten months of Notes. The work comes to 288 pages. That makes for a reasonably sized work that I can price at around $20. All that is left is final proofing. That gives me two books in this final proofing state. I'm leaning hard toward making this one the second book that I publish however. The Beyond Imagination book still captures the overall vision of what Beyond Imagination is all about. And, the Reality Creation 1010 work is probably the most visited work at my site and has received the most comments. It just seems right to make this available in book form at this time. Also, it is only half the size of 2003 Musings - Vol 1, so there is much less to proof. Though that only postpones the inevitable a little bit. I was surprised that I could pull The Early Works together so quickly ... very pleasantly surprised. It is amazing what one can do when one loves and believes in what one is doing. I'm curious as to whether the Best of Notes based books will be as easy to generate. At this point there is some time before I need that to happen. I have enough money put aside to publish one more book. After that, I need to earn more or save more to be able cover the cost for another one. My hope is that early book sales will generate sufficient income to cover publishing at least six books in 2003. It still strikes me as amazing that I could be an author with as many as six books published before the year is finished. Yet, it is a definite possibility at this time. All that I can do is my part. That is a lot. But, is it enough? It has to be.
There is something satisfying about having one's name on the cover of a book. There is a sense of contribution. There is a sense that I have done something meaningful and of lasting value. And, indeed, I have. Though, while it was only in electronic form ... it was as if it was only air. As books, it is really physical. It is even printed on recycled paper. Yes, there is a difference somehow. I have on several occasions had Beyond Imagination works photocopied and bound in an 8.5 x 11 format. In fact, I have a stack of five of these that must come to nearly four inches thick combined that is just above and to the right of my monitor. The double sided printout of 2002 Musings alone came to over two and a half inches. We're already at over an inch for 2003 Musings as well. That is a lot of expression, but there is no sense that it is going to let up anytime soon. In fact, if anything, I am moved to express more than ever. There is also a strong inner drive to share the expression with others. I can do that at the Beyond Imagination web site. But, it seems that it is time to do that in more innovative, creative, and direct ways as well.
Yes, I do want to be doing this full time as my vocation. One of my co-workers commented that in a couple of years she'll be able to say she knew me when ... That would indeed be nice. At this point, I don't know exactly how long it will take, but the sense is that this is exactly what is manifesting. I'm doing my part. I'm doing things that enable the forces of the universe to kick in and do their thing. I'm doing what I can do. Further, I'm not leaving for tomorrow those things that I can do today. Today is a case in point. Originally, I was going to get to The Early Works in a month or so. But, I was able to take it on and get it done in one day. By all rights, it should have taken at least a week. But, I was on a roll and in the groove so to speak. When I am operating at peak efficiently, there is no stopping me. If I can get the proofing done this weekend, and get the file off to the publisher next week ... we could see my second book published by early September. At this point, that is exactly what I am moved to do.
Do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. That is a directive that I have lived by for over a decade ... actually for most of my adult life. So far, it has worked for me, primarily because it is spirit herself that moves me. I don't know whether others are moved in the same manner. Everything seems to be pointing toward a change in occupation in the very nearterm. I can only do this part time for so long. My spirit longs to do so much more. And to do that, I must be free. But, I need the economic freedom to go with the occupational freedom. I believe that the two can go hand in hand. And, I believe that the steps that I am being moved to take now are in line with achieving this freedom. Can this happen this year? That may be rushing the timeline. However, publishing the first book was a major milestone. In some respects, it seems that publishing the second book may even be more important ... primarily because of its content.
It is curious that my wife Gini closed her store and begins to work at home as of the end of May. And, here, I'm effectively asking for much of the same thing ... to allow me to work from home as well. But, am I missing something. Is the context of my present work environment offering something that I need? If it is, I'm just not seeing it. There is a sense that much of my work time is wasted, and there doesn't seem much that I can do about it. There is far too much time spent fighting the latest fires. This keeps people busy ... but not necessarily productive. There has to be a better way to employ people ... a way that makes far better use of their individual abilities and talents. However, we have to realize that something is seriously wrong and we have to desire to change it.
29 May 2003
Another special day. I was able to generate another manuscript ... Best of Notes - Book 2 from the final year of Best of Notes. It comes to over 400 pages, making a substantial work. I still need to generate an Introduction and a Conclusion, and of course do a final proofing ... but this makes the third book in this close to ready to go to the publisher state. The companion Best of Notes - Book 1 shouldn't take more than a few hours to generate, including the basic formatting. I'm really moved to do this ... more than I've been moved to do anything in a long time. I can see all five books manifested in their published form. The labor necessary to make this happen is completely within my power to control. However, I do need some help with the financial end. The costs aren't much. But they are beyond what I presently have available. I can get the second book underway. Further, in a few weeks I may have enough to get a third one going. But then we need to start seeing some sales to help recoup the costs.
Let's see ... 520 + 290 + 590 + 450 + 300 = 2150 pages of material in five books. That is a lot to publish in one year, especially non-fiction. Though, it helps that it was generated over 10 years. Actually, most of it in 5 of those 10 years. Actually, that is a rough figure. The Best of Notes files in the early months were not nearly as long as they were during some of the months in the final year.
That is not the whole story. These musings continue nearly daily. At this rate, I'll accumulate enough material for 2003 Musings - Vol II by the end of August and could have that ready for publishing within a few weeks after that. If the pace stays close to what it has been for the past 17 months, we're probably talking about another 500 page work at least. That would bring us to half a dozen for 2003. Wow! If the books sell and there is sufficient income, I have ideas for many other works that might be created from the Beyond Imagination material. I'd like to devote an entire work to Best Quotes with some formatting to make it more pleasant to the eye.
You can probably tell how excited I am when I am doing this. Clearly, this is what I am meant to do. The only question is how do I arrange things so that I can earn my living doing it. Having a stable of books seems to be the most promising means that I have yet thought of for doing this. Self-publishing makes it easy to turn this possibility into a reality. Yes, I am going to have to do things to market the works. But, I think that I am ready to do that now in ways that I have never been before. I am more comfortable with myself and with all that has been expressed through me. I can speak with others about this.
One Year. Where will I be one year from now? What will I be doing? How will I be living? How will I be earning my living? Will I be engaged in performing the mission I came to perform? Will I love what I am doing, whatever that is? Indeed, it seems that this is the timeframe that we are talking about for change. This gives Best Passages nearly 11 months to start doing its stuff ... and manifesting abundance into my life. Further, The Early Works will have 8 months, and other works several months depending on when I am able to commission them. There is no use worrying about it. I am a man on a mission. I will find a way ... with spirits assistance. If these works are supposed to be born this year, the funds will be available to permit it. I don't typically spend much money on anything for myself ... but it is important that I do this. This is an investment in myself, in spirit, in Beyond Imagination, and in the future. The only question is why was I not moved to do this earlier? I think part of the answer is that I needed the experience of 2002 Musings to show me just how precious this expression is. Best Passages was selected from a storm of expression that started on January 1 and lasted all year with rare exceptions. I believe there were over 330 musings for the year. There was nothing comparable in the expression prior to that.
It still strikes me as interesting that my first book could officially be available for purchase the final week in June, and my sixth book might be available for purchase by Christmas of this year. That probably sets some kind of record. That would mean that I need to get the final book(s) to the publisher no later than late September. That gives me just over two months to generate sufficient sales of Best Passages to cover publishing 3 books. Details, details ... it seems that it always comes down to the details. Why can't I just do my thing and created the books and trust that they will find their way to those who are meant to read them. Yes, I will need to help to facilitate this. But, it is not something to worry about or to plan. It seems that I need to be more spontaneous here and allow spirit the freedom to move me as she will. This is different than posting the works to the internet. Taking the step to transform the works officially into books is a major step. It demonstrates a degree of maturity ... and a degree of belief in the works. It will attract a corresponding audience in return, an audience who will be surprised and amazed by what they find. Yes, the works are that good. But, you've known that for some time. You just weren't ready to go public until now. The internet was faceless ... it wasn't really public. The marketing of books will require that you take the expression that is Beyond Imagination public. Right now, this expression is still you, and of course spirit.
30 May 2003
Finished the first draft of the companion Best of Notes - Book 1 last night. I'm on such a high, that it is hard to come down. The 2150 page count was close. It actually came to 2208. Yes 22-8, how appropriate, the number for my whole name in ALL CAPS. I'm now very close to having four works ready to go to the publisher. We're talking about final proofing, some short conclusion sections and perhaps adding a quote to the cover pages for each of the months of Best of Notes. That means selecting 30 quotes. I thought about picking the quotes from the month in question ... but then thought it might be more fun to go back to even early writings documented in the Beyond Mind work that covered the period from the beginning of the writings on 5 March 1993 until my vacation in the mental hospital began on 1 October 1993. The material from that time isn't really captured anywhere else, so the quotes would be fresh.
To say I am jazzed is an understatement of major proportion. Clearly, I could spend every waking moment engaged either in this expression or in relating this expression to others. Yes, I feel that strongly about it. Strong enough to overcome my shyness around people ... it seems that I have no real choice, the message must get delivered and it seems that I am the one to deliver it. After all, this expression has been coming fourth through me from source for over a decade. There is some reason for that. There is some reason that I am playing this role. Yes, my abilities have something to do with it. But, there is a sense that this is the role that I came to play. Further, it was not meant to be played in isolation, not forever anyway. It seems that the time has come for the modality to change. The books are the trigger, the rallying point that facilitates this change. They allow me to reach a much larger audience much more quickly. So, what do I see in my future? I see talks, discussion groups, and perhaps even classes based on the Beyond Imagination material that has been expressed and that continues to be expressed. How do I get started doing this? At this point, I haven't a clue. But, I'm sure it will come to me ... or the right people to help will make theirselves known.
I received a question from a friend via e-mail regarding what this thing that I call source really is? Where do these words come from? How do others find the equivalent part of themselves to tap to bring forth this kind of information from within? These are all good questions. I've labeled the origination point for this expression source. I experience it as feminine. I don't really know what I did to tap into it the first time. It just seemed to happen and words flowed forth into my mind that I typed and was astonished to read. Over the course of many months, the connection grew more and more frequent and occurred for longer durations. When I wanted to engage source, I would just blank my mind and go into a receptive state and allow whatever would come into my mind to flow forth. I had no sense of making it happen. It was more a matter of stepping aside allowing it to happen. That has shifted over the years to a more participatory experience. I don't control what gets expressed, but I definitely participate in bringing it forth, even if I am not aware of actually creating it. Then again, perhaps that is a limit of my own awareness. It could be that I am really creating it all, only I am not consciously aware of it. However, that doesn't really matter. My experience is still the same. Though, there is a sense that my awareness is growing and that at some point I will become aware of the creator self. I'm just not there yet. The best advice I can offer for how to connect with source is to still your mind. Until you stop the river of thoughts that distracts you and engages your attention constantly, you have no room for the still small voice from within to speak to you. She will speak ... but only if you are listening. Most people do not know how to listen. Listening is hard work. It demands our full attention. However, we need to be relaxed when we engage in doing it.
I've been doing this for a decade. The words simply come forth automatically. I don't have to think about it. I simply allow the stream of consciousness to do its thing in my brain and I type what I hear. The process has not changed since those early days. Though, it is probably a little faster now, limited only by my ability to type. Though, it also seems that I need to be able to understand what is coming through for it to come through. No, that doesn't mean that I remember everything that is expressed here. In fact, I don't remember what was in the past sentence. However, when it comes forth, I understand what it means. It is not hidden. It is expressed simply. I guess the saying is true that simply because you know how to do something, does not necessarily mean that you can teach it. This expression is like that. I don't know that I could teach others to express as I express. However, I would show that what all of these words have shown is that what is important is not for us to express like another ... but rather for us to express in the manner that is right for us. Here, we need to assess our own abilities and talents. We need to find what we love to do. Then, we need to find a way to do what we love to do in a manner that serves not only ourselves but others, our society, and even our world. That is how we make a difference with our lives. And, making a difference is what it is all about. Further, the more passionate we are about what we are doing the greater the difference that we will make. It is amazing what happens when we do what we love to do. There is a powerful force that is unleashed to do great works.
I don't know that I'm really helping to show the way to source. If your predisposition is toward verbal endeavors, then we are probably similar enough that what works for me should have some applicability to you. Most likely it will need to be tailored to accommodate unique differences, but overall spirit brings forth the Word in similar ways through all who would be her scribes. I say that, but we are more than that ... we possess the minds wherein the physical expression of the vibration that is the word is formulated. Some are visual and write about the pictures that they see in their mind. Others are visual but actually see the words written out before them. These might be in books that they are able to access and translate. Some, like me, are auditory, we hear the words in our head. This makes the expression very immediate. It also makes the time horizon for the expression very short since we are so narrowly focused on what is coming forth in the moment. Some are kinesthetic and feel things. They then have to translate what they feel into words. Of all of these, the visual written and the auditory seem to have the easiest job from a translation perspective. These are just some of the major types. Many are combinations of multiple types ... so there is a great variety. Further, there is a great difference in the nature of the material that gets expressed. The writers of fiction books are inspired by source as well. All creative expression comes from source. There is little in common with the average fiction bestseller and the works that I have been moved to express. Yet, they ultimately spring from the same source. That provides another avenue for instruction. Any courses or books that get you in touch with your creative side are good places to start. Above all else, source is creative. The more creative we become, the more we connect with source in our lives.
One exercise that I can offer is just to sit down and write ... allowing whatever would flow forth to flow forth without judgment. Do this regularly, daily if you can for at least 30 minutes and preferably for an hour. The best way to learn to do something is by doing in. If you want to write, then write. For awhile, you may find that you have plenty to write about to fill the hour on your own. But, the goal is to allow source to start coming forth to fill the pages as she will (or he will if that is how you experience source). Stay open, somewhat detached, but interested. Focus on being the observer of what is happening during this process. You, too, will see that the origination point, source, is a magical place. It can't be pinpointed. It can't be located within the body. It can't be located within the mind. Yet, the expression that comes forth is proof of its existence.
What else can be done to tap source? We have to want to do it. We have to know that we can do it. We have to do the selfwork to ensure our belief systems are consistent and that our motives are truly to be of service. Hmm ... something just came to mind. When we want a water well on our property, we hire a drilling company to dig the well and tap the water source. Could the appropriate people provide this kind of spiritual service for others and assist them in tapping the source within. I don't see why not. Why should everyone have to learn the hard way? Indeed, they should not. Is there anyone providing such services right now? There probably are, but I am not personally aware of them. That's not saying a lot. There are a lot of things that people are already doing that I am not aware of.
It seems that for me, 20 years of metaphysical reading and study was effectively the process of digging the well. Then, in 1993, the gusher came in and it was all that I could do to cap it and keep it contained. Why 1993? We've talked about that elsewhere. The energies were right ... that was simply the time for these events in the play of my life to unfold. So, were the years of metaphysical study causative ... were they necessary? For me, I believe the answer is absolutely. They programmed me to be ready to do what I've been doing for the past decade. Now, however, it seems we are at another major breakpoint. I strongly feel that my life is about to take a major turn in a direction that I have not planned for it to go. All of the stuff with publishing books has come forth in the past few months. That I could earn my livelihood from such activity is a dream, but is far from a reality yet. Though, I can taste it. Further, I have come an enormous way in as little as one week.
Just came from working on The Early Works. One quote was particularly appropriate, and it just happened to correspond to my age:
45 - The key thing that drives the whole process is making "Know Thyself" the top priority in your life. This above all things sets you on the path that is right for you.
This is the best advice that I could give. When you make knowing thyself this important and follow up by being what you know that you are, all that you could possibly need will come unto you. It is indeed that simple. Though, in practice, knowing thyself can be quite a challenge ... one that potentially engages us for many lifetimes. All that we can do in an one existence is the best that we can. That is always good enough. In case you are wondering, this is number 45 out of 111 quotes in the third section of The Early Works. If things go as planned. It should be available for purchase in about three months.
Some more advice comes from the Beyond Imagination Quote per Day Calendar for 2003. Today's quote is:
Creativity in general is far more intuitive than logical.
From that, the guidance is to do those things that allow our intuitions a wider berth in our lives. This has been a recurring topic in the musings. I've made it very clear that I consider intuition far superior to logic. Not that logic doesn't have its utility in its own domains. As a systems engineer with formal training in Electrical Engineering, I must admit that. But, in the realm of the unknown of consciousness ... here reason and logic are completely out of their elements. Here, intuition must be relied on to provide a course by which to sail. Thus far, she has not failed me. Even with my two vacations to the local mental health institutions, it was only through her guidance that I made my way back at all.
It is interesting that I am moved to use my Redondo Beach address in the books for contact information. It seems that even if I'm able to do this on a full time basis, I'll need a location that is in LA, closer to a major population center ... and closer to a major airport. Interesting. Also, it is a lot cooler in the summer and offers a way to escape the heat for several days per week. Further, I could write without some of the distractions that I would have at home. That is important as well. Things will work out as they need to. There are no accidents. We are moved to do things for reasons, even if we don't know what those reasons are.
Today has been a stellar day for Beyond Imagination expression. I'm still flying high. It is not clear when I'm going to land. There are so many possibilities running through my mind. But, most exciting is the idea that I've really reached a crossroads where there is a real choice at hand that I can make that can determine my destiny from this point forward ... and that I am watching myself doing those things that show that I have indeed already made the choice that I want to make. It is just a matter of allowing it to play itself out in my reality. For instance, I have indeed created five books. The second will be ready to send to the publisher by Tuesday at the latest. The other three will take a little longer not so much because of the remaining work to be done, but because money is an issue. That is OK. Now that I have an overall plan, I have something to save up for. In the meantime, the musings continue as they have for 17 months. Two more days and we start the 18th month. That is amazing to me that the pace of the musings could be what it has been for so long.
The creative juices are flowing. As I was working on Best of Notes - Books 1 and 2, it was obvious that there were other things that could be done to create various works out of the material expressed at Beyond Imagination. Best Quotes works were obvious candidates. There could be a series of these. We haven't touched The Search for Center yet. There is easily a book worth of expression there. Then, with more effort, we could create topic oriented works that combine new expression with relevant passages that have come before in various works. Oh ... if only I could be doing this fulltime. If only, indeed. It seems time to walk my talk and manifest the conditions for my liberation. Yes, I do feel enslaved to some degree by my present circumstances including my present job. I am thankful for the job from the standpoint that it is secure and pays sufficiently to cover the bills. But, it is not clear that this is enough anymore. My spirit longs to be free ... completely free, and it is not clear that it can be that in the current work environment. I've had this problem before. In 1993, with Loral then in 1998, here. Is this another repetition of the cycle? It seems that I don't get really motivated to change things until the work environment becomes intolerable to me. My sense is that we are not there yet, but we are getting close. I need to be doing work that I feel good about, work that truly makes a difference in an important way. I feel that way about everything that I've done and expressed for Beyond Imagination. That is what I need to be doing as my vocation. The only question is how do I find a way to get it to pay at least equivalent to my present salary and benefits ... preferably substantially more since I will be doing so much more? As always, the place to start is with the right questions. Until we ask, the universe is not aware of what it is that we really want. The next step is to take actions in accord with this desire. What can I do to start supplementing my income with the goal of the new way of earning an income eventually replacing the old way? The books provide a vehicle for that. But, there is more that I can do. What is contained in the books is alive in me. That makes me a valuable asset to the right audiences. I just need to do what it takes to market myself ... and speak freely as consciousness would speak through me. Since the connection is primarily auditory, there is no reason it can't translate into a lecture or a teaching setting.
--- JUNE ---
1 June 2003
A new day in a new month. Skipped another day of musing. I spent the time proofing The Early Works so that I can send it off to the publisher tomorrow. I'm 99.9 plus percent there. One more pass tonight and I think it's ready to go. I'm still amazed at what came forth during that period first year following my major awakening in Oct 1993. The work is timeless ... it could endure indefinitely, definitely long past when I am dead and gone. Reality Creation 1010 is particularly peculiar. It was definitely inspired. That something like that could be created in 10 days still blows me away. Yet, it happened. I watched it happen and I participated in it happening. The words came through me. They flowed forth fluidly and rapidly. I was a madman, possessed with bringing forth a work of consciousness. It didn't matter that I didn't know exactly from where it came or how I was able to bring it forth. It was enough that it was manifesting before my eyes, day by day, thought by thought.
It seems right that this would manifest as a book now. It will have been nearly a decade since the work came forth by the time it is available for purchase. Part of that is my fault. My early attempts at getting works published were dismal failures. I didn't realize how easy and how affordable it could be. Perhaps that was the universe's way of telling me that the time was not yet right. There was still much that I needed to learn. There still is. But, I am far more grounded now than I was then ... even though my spirit does its share of soaring. I don't think that will ever stop. My very nature is fire. It is in the realm of the spiritual that I truly come alive. The times have changed however. What didn't work before, it seems may indeed work now. I am meant to be an author of some reknown. If I have my way, we'll see at least half a dozen Beyond Imagination books published this year ... spirit permitting, that is. The material for five of these is already done. Further, we are well on our way to gathering material for 2003 Musings - Vol II. It is only dependent on continuing the daily musings. At this point, there is no indication that these will terminate anytime soon. The only uncertainty is funds. And, everything in me tells me that this will work itself out. If my will is in line with The Will, what I desire will manifest, one way or another.
Proofing books is quite a chore. It means carefully reading the material to look for format, spelling, and grammar errors. There are not a lot of these overall, but there are enough that it makes for a time consuming activity. Doing a good proofing prior to submittal should make the final proofing go easier. I should be able to limit my concern to formatting problems. Also, I don't have to pay for corrections that way. At some point, it would be nice to offload this task to others. I'm not great at taking care of the details. I do it when I have to. And, whatever I do, I try to do well. But, there are other things that I would rather be doing that others cannot do. That is where I am able to make the greatest use of my abilities. For instance, in the time it took to proof The Early Works, I'm sure that I could have put together a draft manuscript for The Search for Center book. Yes, I could do it in roughly 8-12 hours of effort. No, I don't think anyone else could put it together in 5 times that amount of effort. But, I know where the material is and roughly how I want to organize it. The only open question is whether to organize by section or to organize by issue. I'll probably make the final decision when I start producing the draft. Actually, this would be book 7. I have an idea for another book composed solely of Best Quotes. That would be book 8. I'm sure that if I thought about it awhile I could come up with ideas for more. But, there is only so much that we can do part time. I definitely seek the conditions for my liberation. It is time to manifest financial freedom. Easier said than done you say. But, that is what these children of my consciousness are for. They have come forth to liberate me. It just took awhile to get them in a form where they could do this.
Made it through the final pass of The Early Works. It took longer than I thought it would, but I did catch quite a few formatting errors caused by using a different version of MS Word. Oh well. Lesson learned. I'll have to do the final editing and error correction on my new machine rather than my wife's older laptop. Anyway, it's done now. I'll send it out tomorrow. That makes two! There is still a lot more to do to reach my goal. 2003 Musings - Vol I is next in the queue for proofing. It comes in at nearly 600 pages so there is a lot to proof. But, it has to be done. The sooner it gets done, the sooner I can get it to the publisher as well. However, that comes close to exhausting my available funds. I'll have to save up for the two Best of Notes books. That's another $800 that needs to come from somewhere. At least that gives me a little extra time to do the proofing. The two books together come in at a total of over 800 pages. Yes, 2003 is truly a year for manifestation for Beyond Imagination. Though, the material for four out of five of these works existed before this year began. The difference is that I am moved to takes action to publish the works. This is a formal action that makes the works available in a whole new way. It is also an announcement to the world that I am ready to stand behind what I say ... and demonstrate it in the way that I live my life. Yes, I did this to some degree before. But, this is taking things to a whole new level of expression.
2 June 2003
Back to our daily musings. Mailed The Early Works to the publisher this morning. That's two down and at least four to go for the year. I can reach the halfway point by proofing 2003 Musings - Vol I. That is a good project to start this week. It could take awhile. That is OK. I'll set a goal of two weeks. I don't typically set goals. But, it seems that in this case it is appropriate. I need to push myself to my limits and get as much accomplished as I can. There is always more work that can be done. I spoke yesterday of a potential Book 7 and Book 8. I'm sure there could be even more if I thought about it awhile. One thing that came to mind was a retrospective based on the Beyond Mind work that included commentary based on my present understanding of what I was experiencing and documenting in that period from the time the expression began in March 1993 until the first major awakening in October 1993. That makes 9. A work on how numerology has been used in finding hidden meaning in symbol systems could make Book 10. We've learned a lot about the Nature of Consciousness over the years. That might be a suitable topic in it's own right for Book 11, pulling appropriate passages from what has been expressed to date and adding new material to present a complete picture. Though, for 9-11 we are talking about a substantial amount of original work that would need to be generated. That's OK. That is what I do. I am an information generator. This just requires slightly more focus than I normally apply.
I am indeed a madman on a mission. I am consumed by this task of getting the Beyond Imagination works published as quickly as the universe allows. For some reason this seems to be the right thing to do at the moment. These are my children. Publishing them releases them to do their works in the world. They are an extension of me. The ideas they express have the potential to reach and to impact many. Whether they will do so or not remains to be seen ... but, this seems to be somewhat up to me. What I do makes that much difference. Yes, I have posted the material to my Beyond Imagination site on the WWW. But, that is not the same as publishing the material. Publishing makes a positive statement that I believe enough in what I do to commit my writings to public scrutiny. Indeed, I do. And, I welcome whatever feedback will come from this. It was time to try something new ... something different, and this seemed to be the right thing to do.
A quote comes to mind ... something to the effect:
Only fools believe that they can get something different by doing the same things.
So, it seems that it is indeed time for me to express in a new way. Publishing books happens to offer that way. It is a new form of expression for me. And, just maybe it is the one that will lead to my liberation and allow Beyond Imagination to finally get off the ground and start doing works that are of utility to society and the world. Not that the world will necessarily recognize the utility at first ... but some will, and that will have to do for now. There is an upswelling of energy within me. There is a sense that I am on purpose, that I am doing exactly what I need to be doing at this time in my life. Everything is starting to click. I can envision how it is that I would like to live my life. And, I can imagine doing it sometime soon. In fact, there are many parts of it that I can do already and am already doing. I am motivated in a way that I have not been for some time. There is an inner drive that has been engaged. Further, I'm operating in high gear ... working with a productivity that is extremely high. It definitely helps to love what you are doing. The only question is how do I transform this into my job? ... for I do not see how to transform my current job so that it allows me to engage in this. And, it is not clear how long I can stand to do this part time.
Consciousness guides my every step. She moves me to do what I do, and to express what I express. This stream of consciousness is the stream of my life. I have chosen to serve spirit, and in doing so to serve my society and my world. Interesting, I speak of my world as if it were something that I own. But, it is something that I create, or at least co-create. Hmm ... why didn't I just say "serve society and the world"? That would have conveyed a similar point. But, the sense is that the words were carefully chosen. Each of us exist within a society and a world of our own making. There may be some similarities, but the uniqueness of each individual ensures that each society and world is unique as well. How can this be? We all live in the same world, don't we? But, do we really?
The quote from the 2002 Quote per Day Calendar for yesterday is appropriate:
Sometimes it feels as if what is to be expressed is destined ... it already exists in finished form.
It is only the linear nature of experience in this world that causes it to come forth letter by letter, word by word, thought by thought ...
It does indeed seem that what is being expressed is being read by me versus being created by me. I hear a silent voice in my head that communicates these words and I express what I hear. But, there is no sense that I am originating all of this, at least not consciously. It has been that way since the expression began in 1993. Will this change at some point in the future? I don't know. We'll have to see what unfolds. My sense is that it will evolve to whatever it needs to be for me to carry out my mission. So far, this present form of expression seems to be enough. Though, even that is evolving as we speak. The energy is different this year than in 2002, and was different in 2002 than for prior years. I'm not sure how to describe the differences however. Perhaps you can sense them from what has been expressed and the way that it has been expressed. 2002 was about bringing forth Musings on a regular basis ... nearly daily in fact. 2003 is about not only doing that, but publishing books as well. It will be interesting to see what the remainder of the year brings. We still have seven months to go. That is an eternity at the pace that I have been working lately. But, there is still a matter of marketing. How do I get the word out that Beyond Imagination has gone public and published various works? My circle of acquaintances is limited. And, many of these are not necessarily into metaphysics. The Beyond Imagination books are targeted for a relatively small market of folks interested in metaphysics, new age, consciousness, self-help, reality creation, belief management, and the like. This is not necessarily the stuff of bestsellers. Then again, I have no idea how many sales are required for something to qualify as a bestseller.
It seems that I am going to have to do some things to get the word out. That could seminars or speaking engagements, booths at whole life expos, appearances at bookstores, ... I can also announce the availability of the books at the Beyond Imagination site, for what good that will do. Somehow we need to get the distribution chain outside of the internet domain alone. Perhaps I am overly limiting the appeal that these books will have. They will reach who they are meant to reach. Yes, I need to do my part to see to that. But, there is a large hand at work here, the hand of Providence herself. My job, as always, is to do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. The sense is that the steps that I need to take in the times ahead will be obvious. It is simply a matter of applying myself and doing them. At this point, I am highly motivated to do just that. I really do feel that I am standing at a major crossroads in my life, and that what I do now will create the future that I experience. There is something about this year that is special. This is a defining moment in my life. The sense is that it is time to consciously accept the mantle of my spiritual mission. I have been touching on it and even doing parts of it for some time. But, now it seems this is to become my primary mode of being. That gives it a much greater emphasis than it has ever had before.
3 June 2003
Another day in which to express. I started the final proofing for 2003 Musings - Vol I last night. It is going to take awhile. I spent over two hours reviewing 40 pages. The work is nearly 300 pages in 8.5 x 11 format ... so, I have just scratched the surface. I was amazed by what I read, however. The expression is indeed different from that of 2002. Best Passages was a selection of the best material from what had been expressed. For 2003, we are moved to capture the musings just about in their entirety. As a result, we have nearly as much material from four months in 2003 as was selected from the entire year in 2002. Then again, there is really no comparison of what gets expressed from one work to another. Each work stands on its own and has its own reasons for existence. Interesting, but that does indeed seem to be the case. These works are entities in their own right. Yes, they are born through a collaboration of consciousness and me. But, once born, they are free to impact and influence others in the world. In this way, they do their works. And, in this way, effectively I do my works and the works of consciousness.
Doing our works in the world ... that is what life is all about now. Actually, it is all about doing spirit's works in the world. But, I've reached a point where I believe that my works are indeed spirit's works through me. It wasn't always that way. I was reluctant to impose my will on the world for a long time. But, I have realized that my will is an important tool in my arsenal for doing spirit's work. It is a matter of using it in the right way.
Six books. Can I really publish that many before the year is completed? That is a lofty goal ... but it seems to be one that is well within my reach. After all, at the pace I'm going, I should be able to have the third book to the publisher within two weeks. That would be the halfway point. And the drafts for Best of Notes - Book 1 & 2 are already complete ... awaiting proofing and availability of funds. Book 6 would be 2003 Musings - Vol 2. The raw material for it won't be completed until the end of August. This is definitely possible. No, more than that, it is highly likely ... I was going to say a certainty. But, we never know what will happen. I'm not used to planning months ahead. This is new territory for me. Yet, it seems that it may be something that I will be doing more and more in the times ahead. And, not just for me, but for others as well. I have the been given the ability to see things that need to be done ... yet, many of these things are not things that are for me alone to do, or maybe even for me at all to do. In some cases, it may be enough simply to convey what needs to be done to those who can do it. This is a different way of operating for me. I'm used to operating on my own and having to rely on myself to do the things that need to be done. Though, my wife does take care of a lot of things around the house in addition to all the paperwork.
There is a strong sense that this is indeed the work that I am here to do. This is the work that puts a spring in my step. This is the work that I love doing. I just need to find a way to get paid to do it ... and paid well. That seems to be what I am doing. That seems to be what all of this work of publishing the Beyond Imagination books is all about. They are to be my ticket to freedom ... and the means for breathing life into the works of Beyond Imagination. There is a mission to be accomplished. There are foundations for a new world to be created. It is high time for us to get on with it, and do what we came here to do. Yes, that requires funds ... but the universe will see that these are forthcoming, as long as we do our part. To date, expressing here is still what appears to be my part. Though this expression has extended to sending works off to be formally published. This is a different action than I have taken before. We are still a month or so away from starting to see what the consequences of that action will be. Though, I feel good about it. Something about it feels right. This does indeed seem to be the right next step for this expression. Though, announcing that the books have been published to the world will take some effort on my part. At the end of The Early Works, I included a section about Beyond Imagination at the end that included books planned for release in 2003. I included:
Beyond Imagination: Best of Notes
- Book 1
Beyond Imagination: Best of Notes - Book 2
Beyond Imagination: 2003 Musings - Vol I
Beyond Imagination: 2003 Musings - Vol II
It felt right to announce to people that all of this was coming ... and would be manifest this year. Now, it is up to me to do what it takes to make it so. At this point, I don't foresee anything that could stop me. Is all of this worthy of being published. I believe so. But we will only know when we see what kinds of sales are generated. One thing about publishing so many works so quickly is that I don't have to individually market them. I can treat them as a group. I can use Best Passages to get me in the door, and then explain that these other works are also available. Am I saturating the market by doing this? Perhaps. But, the time span for the works is ten years. I'm just happening to make them available in one year. Besides, there is something about creating an instant presence of this magnitude that does something to shake up the world. And, the world is in need of a good shaking up at this time. Are the ideas presented here capable of doing that? My sense is yes. They offer an example of a worldview that is far from the beaten path. Yes, I am eccentric. Yes, I believe some things that many might find strange. However, overall, my belief system has high utility ... and utility is all that really matters in the realm of beliefs. Do our beliefs serve us and those whose lives we touch? The later clause is very important. It is easy to fall into selfish ways. We need to be careful to avoid this. We need to find ways to serve others as we live the life that we are meant to live. This is not always easy. But, there is always a way.
I'm still getting used to the idea that I could be the author of six published books by the end of 2003. That is less than 7 months away. Yet, I can taste it ... it is as if it is already so and I am just awaiting its manifestation in flesh. Not that I don't need to do my part. There are manuscripts to proof and musings to continue to write for at least another 3 months. But, all of this is stuff that is easy for me to do. It is stuff that is well within my control to make it happen. Even the funds seem doable, regardless of the sales of Best Passages. Though, it would indeed help to see my efforts return something for the large investment that I have put into them. That will be as it is meant to be. Spiritual law will ensure that we reap what we sow. I need to take things one step at a time, and allow spirit to lead me to where I need to be and what I need to do. She has done this for most of my life. I have no reason to believe that she will desert me now. In fact, there is every reason to belief that it is via her that all of this expression comes. Yes, I still believe that. I still have no sense of originating all of this. Though there is a sense that I am getting closer ... that I am somehow one with that which originates all of this. Interesting. I don't believe that I've expressed it in that way before. Yet, that is how I feel right now. There is a part of me that is captured in this expression. Without me, it could not exist in this manner. That makes this expression special ... primarily because I am special. I am not your average person. There is nothing normal about me. Then again, we are all special in our own ways.
4 June 2003
Wow, this makes 141 musings in 155 days for the year. That is about at the same pace as for last year. By the end of the month we will have nearly 500 musings in a 1.5 year period. That is simply amazing. That is a lot of files to manage. But, even more importantly, that is a lot of expression to bring forth. Yet, that is what I do these days ... I bring forth whatever this stream of consciousness would have me express. I am ever amazed by what is able to come forth. Yes, even after a decade of expression ... this is all fresh and new. Here, I can be whom that I AM in ways that I can be nowhere else. And, what I AM is far more than I had any idea of what I might be. It is interesting that this would be true as well. Yet, what should one expect from an expression that goes by the name Beyond Imagination?
There is a strong sense that my destiny is in the process of being manifest now ... that I have set the wheels in motion via my actions. In particular, via my actions with respect to publishing two Beyond Imagination books. But, that is just the beginning. I'm about 1/3 of the way through proofing book number three. At the present pace, I should finish it sometime next week. That would get me to the halfway point of the goal that I have set for the year. But, will the books sell? My sense is that they will. But, does that even matter? I am publishing the works because that is the right thing for me to do right now. I feel that deep within me. Publishing will make the material available to a different audience than visits my website. Further, the format of a physical book has its benefits.
One year. It seems that what I am doing now may take up to one year to take root and manifest as change in my life. I am ready for some major changes. It is time for my life to start involving others in much greater ways than it has done in the past. However, I must do things differently for this to manifest. What is it that I want to do? I would be whom that I AM. I would express whatever spirit moves me to express. I would do what spirit moves me to do. What more can I do? I have chosen to live a life of spirit and for spirit. No, this is not the easiest path to follow. But, everything within me says that this is the right path for me to follow. And, I choose to do what is right when I can. In the long run, I've found that this is always for the greatest good. Though, it may not appear so at the time we are doing it. We need to look beyond appearances to the reality that lies beyond them, however.
The days march on and on in their seemingly endless stream. Yet, it is for us to find a way to make the most of each day, and more than that ... of each moment of each day. Yes, that is expecting a lot. But, time is such a precious thing. It seems a shame to waste any of it ... and downright criminal to waste as much of it as many people do. Then again, it is not for me to judge how others spend their time. I have enough to do to fully account for my own. It is not that we need to be busy doing things all the time. Meditation and quiet time have their places in our lives ... especially if our lives tend to be hectic. In fact, the more hectic, the more that we need such peaceful times. However, they do not just happen. We have to make the effort to bring them into our lives. We do this by the importance that we place on them ... and by practice. If we want to become good at something, about the only way is via practice. We have to make a commitment to doing that thing on a regular basis. It is no different with the things of consciousness. What we do on a regular basis, we become expert at. The more we do something, the more expertise we gain. This expression definitely demonstrates that. When I started ten years ago, the writing was sporadic, with a week between writing at times. Now, I write nearly everyday. Further, there is more connectivity in the expression now than there used to be. There is a richness in the fabric of what is expressed. I sense this as I write ... but, it is more obvious when I read what I have written. There is definitely an intelligent source at work in doing all of this ... a source that is far more than I know my self to be at present. This doesn't mean that it is more than I AM. It is just more than I know myself to be right now. My knowledge of myself is still limited. Oh, it is far greater than that of most people ... but, it is a far cry from what it could be. I know this. It is obvious. There are still many things about myself that are unknown. And, indeed, some of these may even be unknowable. But that is of no import. I will know what I am meant to know and what I am capable of knowing. I will know what I have a need to know. Spirit operates on a need to know basis ... much as our classified agencies do. What is it that I need to know that I presently don't know? I can trust that when I need to know, the information will somehow come to my awareness. That is simply how things work. I don't have to force the process. I can allow it to unfold naturally.
Life is sweet these days. I am flying on the winds of spirit toward a destiny that I know to be right for me. It doesn't matter whether I know exactly what that destiny is. It is enough that I am expressing as fully as I can. I know this because I see what I am producing each day, and because I know how much effort I am expending. We were at about 3 hours per day of expression. This has stepped up to 4-5 hours per day. I don't know how long I can keep this up as it cuts into my normal sleep time. But, I am obsessed to get a variety of Beyond Imagination works done and published so that they can do their works in the world. This expression is part of one of those works. There are five other works that are already essentially complete ... two in the publishers hands, one being proofed, and two more ready for proofing. How do I make my beyond imagination work into my job? Is that in the cards for this existence? Am I disciplined enough to be able to make effective use of my time day in and day out in the service of consciousness? My sense is yes to all of this. The only real questions are when it might happen and how? Interesting. The sense is soon since I am creating my reality more consciously now than ever. Yet, I still leave room for spirit to express through me as she will. Further, I am ever surprised by how she is able to express.
5 June 2003
The days continue to march on. And, I continue to be moved to express. How long this will last, only spirit knows. But, it could be indefinite. There is so much to be expressed that it seems that we will never get to the end. But, only part of that is meant to come through me. Though, that part is a lot. I express in words for the most parts, the very words that you see here. I have been doing this for just over 10 years, though not nearly as frequently for a good portion of that time. Something happened at the beginning of 2002 that triggered a new speed and mode of expression. That has continued for over 17 months to this date. I am spending a lot of time engaged in the works of Beyond Imagination. But, I consider that to be quality time doing work that I must do. Yes must ... it is as if I have no choice in the matter. Or, perhaps more correctly, it is as if I have already made my choice in this area.
Where will my life lead me next, and when? I am ready for some major changes on several fronts. I am aware that what I do will determine how and when these changes manifest. I am ready to start doing whatever it takes. There is a sense that it is simply a matter of growing into whom that I am meant to become. There is a spiritual gravity of sorts that is pulling me in exactly that direction. However, this is not true only for me, it is true for all of us. The universe has her way of moving us to where we need to be ... preferably voluntarily, but kicking and screaming if necessary. One way or another we will experience the reality that is right for us to experience. Generally this comes from our belief systems. So, it behooves us to get these in order. We will know when they are right because they will feel right.
We each have an innate knowingness within us. It is important for us to find this knowingness and apply it in our lives. The sooner that we do this the better it will be for not only us but for all those whose lives we touch. When we live our lives out of this knowingness ... our lives become magic. We are empowered to do things that would otherwise be impossible. That is because what is impossible for us, is not necessarily impossible for spirit. And, it is spirit that comes forth through this inner sense of knowingness. The bottom line is that there are great benefits to living a spiritual life ... benefits that go beyond anything that we can quantify. Also, from this we are able to live a life of purpose. We are able to do what we came to this planet and to this existence to do. This, too ... we will know what it is when we find it. Purpose is that way. It resonates with us. When we discover what ours is, it fits us like a tight glove. There is no doubt as to whether it is our to do. We will know. Further, we will not be able to avoid doing what is ours to do. The play demands that we enact our roles ... and that we do this to the best of our ability. We know when we are doing that and when we are not doing that. There is no one standing in judgment over us. We do this well enough all by ourselves.
I speak with a voice that is still a mystery to me ... even after ten years of expression. It amazes me that this could still be the case. One would think that by now I might have unraveled at least some of the mystery. Yet, the very nature of the expression is what makes it so fascinating and so much fun. I am ever surprised by what I see expressed. I am ever challenged to expand my concepts of self to explain what I experience. This is not an easy task. There is a lot that I experience that is outside of "normal" modes of experiencing. What constitutes my reality is different than that of anyone else that I know, and very different at that. I see things that others do not seem to see. Numbers, in particular, (and letters from which they are derived) speak to me in a way that seems to be different than occurs for others. Is the meaning that I see actually there, or am I just imagining that it is there? My sense is that it is the former. This is more than the stuff of my imagination ... this is beyond imagination. This is an important part of my reality ... just as important as anything physical. Symbol systems and their meaning are very important to me. Because of this, I am open to a greater variety of symbol systems than most people seem to be ready to accept. However, the bottom line comes down to utility. Does the symbol system and its methods for interpreting meaning provide some benefit to us? Is it useful in some way? For most symbol systems that I have encountered, the answer is yes ... though the utility may only apply within a limited domain or set of constraints. Some symbol systems seem to be more universal than others. Astrology is a case in point. Though, there are many who do not believe in astrology at all. That doesn't impact its validity as a meaningful and useful symbol system. One thing most symbol systems have in common is the need for an intelligent being to arrive at a meaning by employing the intuition to some degree. Some try to downplay this, arguing that intuition is not necessary. But, my sense is that not only is it necessary, it is essential. Without the intuition, the value of the information obtained is greatly limited.
What would I do next? It seems that the next move is spirits. I have taken two formal steps to publish Beyond Imagination works and several informal ones. It will be interesting to see how the universe responds. What makes me think this will be any different than it has in the past? The very fact that I am choosing a different course of action means that the results will have to be different somehow. Each of our actions has impacts and repercussions ... some of which we may anticipate, and some of which may surprise us. Some things we can plan and control. Other things it seems we can only loosely guide in a general direction. My preference is the later way ... providing only the most general of guidance and allowing things to take care of themselves. Though, I do have an overall plan of action regarding the expression of Beyond Imagination for the year. 2003 is definitely a pivotal year. It will bring much transformation on many fronts. My hope is that it will bring sufficient transformation to allow me to live the life that I would prefer to live. That involves doing what I love to do as the means of earning my livelihood. Yes, that is asking for a lot. But, in return, I am willing to give a lot. In fact, I am willing to give all that I am in service to spirit. That is all that I have to give. That has to be enough. Indeed, our best and all that we have is always enough. But, how long does it take to go from the seed of desire to the manifestation in flesh? That is a good question. One year, keeps coming to mind as the answer. But, from when does that one year start? ... the beginning of 2003? ... 5 Mar 03, the tenth anniversary of the expression? ... the day 2002 Musings was sent to the publisher? ... the day 2002 Musings becomes available for purchase? There are many dates that correspond with important milestones. There are important astrological aspects with outer planets that happen throughout 2003 for me as well. Yes, you might say that I am in for one hell of a year ... or perhaps one heaven of a year since it all seems to be spirit driven. Publishing definitely feels like the right thing to be doing at this time. It is a process that is nearly fully under my control with the exception of the time it takes for the publisher to do his stuff. Marketing will be a different matter entirely. Here, it will be my responsibility to get the word out to reach those who are meant to buy and read the Beyond Imagination books. The sense is that I've reached a point in my life where I can do what it takes to do that. Though, it might help to know a little more about what it might take. That is what the marketing package from the publisher is supposed to tell me. We'll see how well it does this when it comes in a few weeks.
Hmm ... act as if. That is a powerful method to apply to reality creation. Much can be created in our reality if we do that one thing ... act as if what we desire is already so. This doesn't mean to stick our heads in the sand and ignore our reality. Rather, it is for us be the change that we want to experience to the degree that we can. When we do this enough, we start to really believe it ... and others around us can't help but believe it ... until it finally manifests in our life. Wishful thinking, you may say. Perhaps. But, reality creation is a process that we engage in constantly. We are spirit manifesting in flesh already. We have always been such and will always be such ... at least the spirit part anyway. At some point we may or may not choose further manifestation in flesh. But, that is beside the point. Here and now, we are spirit manifesting in flesh. We are spirit first ... then we manifest in flesh. It is important to remember this.
How do we tell how good an expression is? In particular, how good is this expression? Is it worth the effort that it takes to produce it? Is it worth the effort that it takes to consume it? Is it worth the cost of the books that will be created from this expression? Good questions all. Definitely worth asking. But, the bottom line is that we won't really know until we see how the universe responds ... until we see what kind of audience is attracted to this material and what numbers of book sales result. Ultimately, if it is good, it will find its place in the world. Every fiber in me says that this is wonderful material ... the clearest expression of source that could come forth through me at this time. As such, I gave it my best. Further, it came from a source that while inside of me, was not really me. Spirit, herself, deserves the honors and the credit for all of this. Oh, I played my role as well ... and, without me it could not have come forth. However, this was clearly a cooperative endeavor. I read the Beyond Imagination works often and enjoy what I find. I am amused and amazed by what has come forth. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to participate in an expression of this nature and this magnitude. Further, I look forward to all that will come forth in the future. There is a sense that this truly is only the beginning. And, what a wonderful beginning it has been. But is the expression sufficient to live on? I would like the answer to be yes ... but it is clearly no at the moment. What does it take to change this? How do I make the answer a resounding yes? Is that within my power to do? Celine Dion sings A New Day Has Come as I write this. How appropriate. It seems that I am in the process of realizing this as well. Now, it comes down to defining what it is that we want to do in that new day and how we want to live.
7 June 2003
Yes, that means that I missed another day of expression. This time I went on a two day trip to visit some friends several hundred miles away. It was good to see them. I don't have many friends. These are people my wife has known for over 30 years. I met them nearly 15 years ago. They served as the witnesses at our wedding. I am not one to keep in touch. I had talked to one of them a few times in the past several years, but I hadn't seen either of them in close to 7 years. It is like that with me and people in general. I haven't seen or heard from anyone I went to high school with since 1977, a year after I graduated. I made a few friends in the Air Force, but we have never really kept in touch ... other than the annual Christmas greeting. Many people at work know me in a work context ... but that is not who I really am. I don't socialize much. Though, I have started to do more of that than I have ever done before. It seems that there is a part of my life that is missing, or highly underdeveloped anyway.
Watched the movie As Good As It Gets. It was a wonderful movie, very well done indeed. Jack Nicholson was outstanding in his role. His obsessive-compulsive behavior was interesting to observe. It seems that we all have our idiosyncrasies. Mine just happens to be bipolar or manic-depressive. Though, I still don't know that I've ever experienced depression. Or, if I have, I must handle it awfully well. It does not matter. What is important is that we don't allow these conditions to get in the way of our being whom that we are and doing what we came to do. We have a purpose to achieve. We have a destiny to fulfill. The movie was very positive and uplifting overall. It gives us cause to celebrate just how special life is. What more can we expect from our movies? It is too bad we don't have many more movies that are like this. Though, it seems that as consciousness is freed to express we will start seeing more and more of this. However, much depends on how well such movies do at the box office. If we don't go to see them in large numbers ... we effectively vote for their demise.
It's late and I'm tired, but I'm here and I want to express whatever would come forth anyway. This is a commitment I make to spirit. It is something that I am moved to do as close to everyday as I can. Do I have to do it? Do I have to express daily? The bottom line is no, I don't. However, this is something that I want to do. It is something that I choose to do. Yes, of my own free will. That makes this expression special. That, and the fact that while it flows forth through me, it doesn't come from me ... at least not from any part of me of which I am consciously aware. But, what about source? Indeed, what about source? I am not consciously aware of source. I only know the results that come through this place inside me that I call source. I don't even know where the place is located. I only know that it is within me and that its communications can reveal themselves to my mind.
I'm still an isolated being, a hermit, expressing for a source consciousness that comes forth through my intuition. I'm willing to give the bulk of my free time to this endeavor ... to what would be expressed as Beyond Imagination. Why? What is so important about doing this that it is worth this investment of my life? I only know that there is nothing that I would rather do. This is something that I must do. This is something that I am moved by spirit to do ... and when we are moved in such a manner there is no use fighting it. The best course of action is to go with the flow, and see where the current of spirit takes us. She knows exactly where we need to go, even if we do not. Because of this, we can trust her handiwork in our lives. Is there some reason that I need to remain isolated? Is this something that my mission requires? My sense is no, quite the contrary, I am to touch the lives of many before my time is done in this existence. I may touch many with my words and works. But, it seems that there are other who I am to touch with my presence, with whom that I AM.
So, what do I need to do to live differently? What do I need to do to bring others, meaningful others, into my life? What would my ideal job and work environment be? What services would I provide and what products would I generate? What would my ideal day at work be like? Can I imagine it? Can I picture it strongly enough, and believe it strongly enough to make it so. That or something better anyway ... where I leave spirit the opportunity to bring forth something better. I know that I can bring forth words and organize these into Beyond Imagination works that can be published as books. But, that is only the beginning. We have foundations for a new world to create. This is a monumental undertaking. But, it is one that is well within our collective abilities and resources to perform. It seems that the time for creating these foundations is now. I've been talking about this being my mission for over a decade. But, something has changed recently ... in particular, this year. Now, the time is ripe. The seeds are ready to reach fruition. Well, maybe not quite yet. Many seeds have been planted. It seems that some have been tended and are about to bear fruit. However, this is only the beginning. There is much more to go before we have ushered in a new age.
8 June 2003
We're getting started very late once again. But, I didn't want to retire and miss another day of expression. Yes, this expression is that important to me ... important enough that I am willing to lose some sleep over it, and I like my sleep. That is OK. We do what we must. We express what we can when we can. There is a sense that we need to take advantage of each and every moment, and do what we can to use those moments effectively. That doesn't mean that we can neglect the day to day activities and tasks of living. We have to do our part in this area too. But, clearly the spiritual domain has a special attraction for me. It is here that I truly live my life. It is here that I am free to soar on the wind of spirit as high and as far as my consciousness can take me.
I would know whom that I AM. And, I would share this will all whose lives I touch. To date, this has involved few lives. I haven't reached out to touch very many people ... with the one exception being via the Beyond Imagination web site. The main page is up to over 13 thousand hits since 1995. That is not a lot, especially when you consider that many of those could be repeat visitors. However, given that I do no advertising for the site, close to 2000 hits per year might be considered respectable. Actually, if we count all the pages at Beyond Imagination, I would guess the total count to be at least 10 times this and maybe more. My service provider is unable to provide web stats for the kind of account that I have ... so, there is just no way to know.
I thought that I would be able to do some proofing for 2003 Musings - Vol I this weekend, but I only made it through about 12 pages. That leaves about 160 to go. My goal for the week is to finish them. That's an average of 40 pages per day for 4 days. Then, a day to actually make the corrections. That would mean I could get the third book off to the publisher next Monday. Hmm ... 6/16 is as good of a day as any. We'll have to see how things go. I've bitten off more than I can chew on more than one occasion. Though, here, everything does seem to be well within my control. The third book would put me at the halfway point toward achieving my goal of six books for the year. That would make 2003 quite special. In fact, it would make it unlikely that I would ever come close to matching it. Then again, it is almost like cheating ... since the material for four of the books already existed from prior Beyond Imagination expression.
What do I do with six books? How do I market them? Who would buy them? Who would benefit from reading them? How do I expose the people who might benefit from the books to Beyond Imagination? If I can get people to the site, then they might be motivated to buy the books:
(1) so that they would have them readily available to read and refer to, and
(2) so that they can support the work that Beyond Imagination is doing.
These are both decent reasons. Being self-published, the books are a little more expensive than comparable sized non-fiction paperbacks. However, the content is well worth the price if I have to say so myself. The bottom line is that the cost comes out to roughly 10 cents per hour for the time that went into generating the material. That truly is a bargain for material of this nature. Further, this stream of consciousness is unique. There is nothing else like it that I have encountered in my vast readings. Then again, perhaps every stream of consciousness is unique. Could it be that each of us has such a stream of consciousness within us to which we can connect? All that it takes is to go within, be still, and listen. Easy to say ... but, this still seems to be a relatively rare thing to do. That is, few seem to achieve it anyway. Is that for lack of trying? Or, is that for lack of proper training as to where to look and how to look? One would think that something as important as this would be taught to us from the time we are small until we get it. Then again, is it necessary for everyone to be consciously connected to this stream of consciousness in this manner? Look at my own case. I'm connected to source ... but even after several decades or study and over a decade of expression, it is still a mystery how all of this happens. This expression just springs forth from within. I cannot contain it. Rather, I choose not to contain it. This is by far the most important work that I have been engaged in during my life to date. There is no doubt about it. Nothing else even comes close. All that has been expressed at Beyond Imagination over the past decade is the crowning glory of my life. But, it comes from an equally important unseen, consciousness herself. It is time for this expression to reach a wider audience. The WWW has permitted some exposure, but nowhere near what was expected. The books offer the potential for opening this up even more. However, much depends on what I do.
What makes my stream of consciousness any more special than that of anyone else? For one thing, I am moved to record it in this manner. That I have the presence of mind to be aware of it and to record it makes me special and makes this special. Is it good enough that others would be interested in reading it? My hope is yes. My hope is that it demonstrates something similar to what they experience as well ... though they may not have noticed it as clearly before it was expressed in this way. I am a wayshower. It is for me to share of what I experience. It is not for me to question why I am moved to do this. I just am. It is part of whom that I AM.
9 June 2003
Another day. Once again we come here to express what consciousness would express through us. We still do this on a regular basis ... close to daily. It has been thus for over 17 months and now, with no sign that it will let up anytime soon. That is good. That means that there could be two more volumes of Musings for 2003. That would be a lot to show for the time that I spend here. I consider this time to be quality time. I consider this expression to be the best thing that I can do with my free time. I would like for it to be the thing that I do with my time, period. However, I haven't figured out how to manifest that yet. I still need sufficient income to pay the bills and live comfortably. And, I haven't figured out how to get that directly or indirectly from this expression yet. Though, there is a sense that it is just a matter of time. This is what I love to do. I should be able to do what I love doing and get paid decently for it ... in particular, get paid what the work is worth. But, how does one put a price tag on creative expression? I don't really know. I've been moved to establish $1 per word as a reasonable figure. Why not? That is as good of a number as any. That would come to $1000 - $4000 per day depending on how much I am moved to write. Considering the nature of the material, that is not too much to ask. Though, it will be interesting to see how the expression evolves when it becomes a full time endeavor that I can engage in completely. To date I have been limited to expressing as a part time endeavor that I do in addition to working fulltime as a systems engineer. I strongly desire for this to change. Though, I need the change to occur in a manner that retains an equivalent or greater income including benefits. To some degree, this establishes what I am worth. Though, the resulting amount is out of balance at the present since the Beyond Imagination expression is for the most part uncompensated to date. In fact, I even pay to make it available to people ... not just with my time, but with some amount of funds.
When this situation will right itself, I do not know ... but balance will indeed be achieved. Spirit does not allow us to pour forth our energies in this manner indefinitely for naught. Eventually, the balance is restored and with interest accrued. At this point, it seems that the best course of action is to keep investing of whom that I AM in the expression ... to keep doing what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. I can trust that spirit in turn is doing her part. In fact, I know that she is. I see part of it expressed through me. Though, it seems that there is another part that is yet to be manifest for which I am still waiting. I know it is coming. I know that there is a destiny that I am here to achieve, a role that I am here to play, a mission that I am here to perform. It is a matter of allowing spiritual gravity to do its thing and pull me down to exactly where I need to be. I have a tendency to soar in consciousness ... so much so that at times it seems that my feet leave the ground. By itself, that is not necessarily bad. Society needs its dreamers to dream of things that never were. However, on another front, we need a wake up call and need to start doing things that turn our dreams into our reality. That is, unless you are prone to bad dreams or nightmares, of which I have neither.
What would I do today? How would I make my life different in this instant, here and now? That is an empowering question. First, it presupposes that I have this degree of control over my life. And, it is indeed true that I do. Second, it acknowledges that change can happen instantly. It can be a decision that we make in the moment. That makes for an interesting process for reality creation. What we desire to be starts with what we desire here and now. We don't have to wait a lifetime, or a decade, or a year, or even months, weeks, or days. We simply need to decide what it is that we want ... or more correctly what it is that we need and deserve. Consciousness doesn't work from wants. It works from needs in line with what we believe that we deserve. At some level, we know what this is. We can make this conscious if we desire to do so, and if we so choose. It all comes down to what we believe that we deserve. In most cases, that is what we get ... unless we put stumbling blocks in spirit's way.
I'm not sure that I really answered the question I posed in the above paragraph. Obviously, I continue to be moved to do as spirit moves me to do. But, there is a growing sense that this is not enough. There is a growing sense that I need to do something more, something different with my life. As of yet, I don't know exactly what that is. But, I am open to discovering it soon. How soon, only spirit can tell. I've felt like this way before ... but never quite so strongly. Something is different now. There is more of an urgency. Also, I am doing things differently. In particular, making the effort to publish books is a strong statement of intent. We'll have to see how the universe responds to this intent. Overall, I am optimistic. The sense is that I am doing those things that are necessary for my liberation from my present conditions. Not that the conditions are bad overall, they are just more restrictive than they need to be ... and I desire to be let loose to do what Beyond Imagination can do if I gave it everything that I had. This or something better for the good of all concerned I ask for now. As always, it is good to allow some freedom for spirit to exceed in delivering what we have asked for.
Do I create my own destiny ... or do I simply allow what has already been planned to unfold in my life? Does it really matter one way or another? Isn't my experience the same either way with the only difference being whether I feel that I am consciously creating it? And here, it is very clear already that in most respects this is not a conscious process. Though, there are some things that I do consciously that have an impact. Some things appear to be within my control. One such thing is my choice to come here and express. Yes, this is something that I am moved strongly to do ... but there is no one forcing me to do it. Not that I can think of anything better to be doing with my time. There is something about serving spirit that has great value. At least the value is great in my eyes. We'll have to see if it is great in the world's eyes as well. My sense is that the world will confirm what I already know ... though there is the fear that the world may not realize just how valuable all of this is. That is OK. At this point, my part is to express what I can as faithfully as I can. Where the expression goes from there, whom it touches, and how it moves them is out of my hands. I can only do what I can do. I must trust that others will do the same. And, overall, through all of this spirit will do her works in the world. There is much that needs doing. But, there are many hands that can share in the burden thus lightening the load for everyone. It is simply a matter of getting everyone to do their part. These would be parts for which they are especially designed and suited. Each of us has natural talents and abilities that can be used to serve society and/or serve spirit in some way. We need to be creative in how we perform this service. In doing so our world benefits greatly ... but we benefit just as greatly.
If I could do or be anything that I wanted, what would I do or be? Now, that is an interesting question. I don't think that I've ever asked that of myself before ... not even as a kid. The answer is simple though. I would be a metaphysical writer ... and I would work towards building the foundations for a new world. But, you say that is what you are and that is what you are doing. Now, isn't that interesting. All that I ask is for the opportunity to do it as my primary occupation. Hmm ... what makes you think that you're "primary" occupation is the one that consumes the most time? Currently, my job is my means of paying for my present lifestyle. It seems that it gets in the way of doing the real work that I am here to do. Yet, from another perspective, it enables me to do what I am able to do during my free time. So it is a two edged sword. It has its benefits and its detriments. Given how much I have been expressing lately ... the benefits must be winning. Though, it is difficult to stay focused when my mind and spirit would prefer to be elsewhere. However, I don't know how to free myself from the current trap. The lifestyle demands an income which requires holding down a job. It is not just this particular job. As jobs go, my current one is probably far better than most. I'm not sure any job would satisfy me now that I've tasted what the Beyond Imagination expression brings into my life. I'm ready to get on with it ... to take the next step and start building the foundations for a new world. Yes, me, who has had little to do with the world to date. But, things can change. In particular, I can change ... especially when it serves spirit for me to do so. That is my criteria for nearly everything anymore. Does it serve spirit? If it does, that is almost always sufficient reason for doing it.
10 June 2003
The days continue to march on, and we continue to express. This stream of consciousness always seems to have something to say ... no matter how often we express or for how long. There is always more that can come through. Is the source inexhaustible? As far as I can tell, it must be. But then, I sense that I've only scratched the surface of what can be expressed. Though it seems, there is a limit to what I can express on a part time basis. There is only so much time and energy available to spend on this endeavor. That is simply a fact of existence. Though, I can long for the circumstances to change. More than that, I can dream and can take action in accord with my dreams to make them change and thus to create the reality that I would prefer in the process. It seems that is what is happening in my life at this moment. I am in the process of creating the reality that I would prefer. How long this will take and whether it will come out as I envision it remain to be seen. At this point, what matters is that the forces of change are in motion. The play is unfolding as it needs to unfold. My role in that play will unfold as it must. From this, it sounds like I have no choice in the matter. And, much of the time it seems that such is indeed the case. I am playing a role that I am choosing on other than conscious levels ... but it is a role that conforms with my beliefs about myself, about the world, and about reality.
There is still a sense that massive changes lie on the immediate horizon in my life. Exactly what these will be I do not yet know. Though, it seems that they will affect nearly every area of my life. I cannot continue to be who I have been for much longer. My role calls for me to express in new ways. This may feel strange at first ... it is a matter of getting used to it. But, ultimately, the new modes of expression will be far more natural ... so they will suit me better. That is hard to imagine given how much I have been able to express already. However, such indeed is the case. There is much more that I can do. And, I can be far more efficient and effective in how I do it. Elegance, that is one of the prime directives. We are to do things as efficiently and as effectively as we can from a variety of perspectives. That means eliminating waste and lack of productivity wherever we find it. There is always something better that we can apply the freed resources toward. It is a matter of wanting to and taking the steps to build the infrastructure that can accommodate and distribute the added productivity. How soon is immediate? It could be within days, weeks, or more likely months ... but, probably not years. Can it really be so soon? Or, is this just wishful thinking on my part? Perhaps it is a little of both. Perhaps there are some things that we can do to facilitate reaching the states that we want to reach. It is really states of mind, or more importantly, states of being that I am after. These come from what I do, not from what is done to me.
This expression continues to be something that I can count on to bring meaning to my life. It is here that I allow spirit to speak as she will through me. It is here that I step aside and give myself a break from the shackles of ordinary existence. It is here that I am free as I am nowhere else. Yes, I am quite fortunate. I know that, and am eternally grateful for all that I experience. My life is far easier than most. Primarily, that is because I have limited what I am concerned about to a few things ... none of which is overly demanding. My lifestyle is not one that many could tolerate. I still spend much of my time alone, that is if you could call time spent with spirit truly alone. For instance, at this moment there is no one around me, yet I speak with a voice that is more than my own. At the same time, the voice does not come from another. It comes from a part of me that is tied to what I would call source. This source only exists within me to the extent that I connect with it and say whatever it would have me say. I don't know what that is more than a word or so in advance of what I am saying. What is the message from all of this? What am I attempting to say to whom? Does there need to be a message for spirit to express? In seems not. This is simply naturally what spirit does. Freeform stream of consciousness expression is still my preferred mode of expression. There is something special about expressing when you have no real idea where the communication is going. Hopefully, this makes for interesting reading as well.
It amazes me that I can express in this manner and yet have so little remembrance of what has been expressed through me. I had to read the last paragraph again to refresh my mind as to what had been expressed ... and even though I finished that moments ago, it is already gone from my memory. That is just how my mind works. Oh well, it doesn't seem to be that important that I consciously remember what has already been expressed. There is something within me that must be keeping track of this somehow, because overall the expression is fresh and new. Oh, there are some common themes that get expressed many times. But, most of the material is original. Even when the topic is similar, the specifics of the expression are usually different. How can this be the case? What is it that keeps me from repeating myself far more than this? It seems that one reason is that the expression is already completed and I am just tapping into it and bringing it forth. So long as I keep tapping into different places in the stream of consciousness, the resulting expression will be original. I don't know how to do this in any other way. I go within to find the voice that would speak through me. And, I type what it would have me say. Yes, I am saying this as well. But, it is out of cooperation and choice versus out of any sense of creating it on my own.
Is what is expressed here of such a nature that it could impact the world ... and do so positively? My sense is yes, on several fronts. First, it offers a sample of what consciousness can do in our life if we allow her to. Second, it provides an example that people can follow ... that allows people to walk in my shoes for awhile. This is what I provide as a wayshower. Third, it provides guidance on a number of metaphysical topics that can enhance one's life and one's experience of reality. Fourth, it offers a way for many to be of service to society and to spirit. Any of those by itself would more than justify the existence of this expression. All of them together are overwhelming ... in fact, truly amazing. Even after a decade, I still find it difficult to believe that all of this could come forth through me. But, that is something that is undeniable. I have a growing body of evidence that confronts me in words from this stream of consciousness expression. To date, I estimate this to be over 2.5 million words in just over 10 years. Yes, that is a lot. Though, it is far less than what I am capable of producing in that timeframe. I would guess that close to 750 thousand of these words have come forth in the past 17 months ... perhaps more, but I have no easy way of counting them. When you think about it, that is a lot. Then again, that is the result of roughly 2-3 hours of effort per day on a regular basis. Commitment ... that is what it takes to achieve anything worthwhile in our lives. We have to care enough about something to be committed to it. I believe that I demonstrate that commitment to Beyond Imagination on a regular basis. But, what is Beyond Imagination? It is an ideal ... it is an entity created to embody an ideal ... created to build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. At present, it has only one member that I know of, though spirit seems to guide its development as she does mine. How do we get others to join forces with us in this endeavor? Clearly, this is not a one person job. Though, I've been saying that for many years now and have seen little manifest. But, somehow the time seems right now ... things are different, the circumstances are different. The world is ready to hear what we have to say ... at least some parts of it anyway.
What can one person do? Clearly the answer is a lot ... far more than we might suspect, especially when spirit is doing the work. That is the key. We work best when we serve as the vessels for the work that spirit would do through us. That does not mean giving up whom that we are. Rather, it involves being whom that we are to the maximum degree that is possible for us. To do this, we have to give up some of our limitations. All of these are self-imposed, so giving them up is a matter of choice. It takes courage to live a spiritual life. It takes courage to be all that we can be. We do not lose anything in the process ... at least nothing that is truly important to us.
Thinking about the quantity of words that has been expressed here over the years, and especially since Jan 02 ... would it be better to do something that focused on the quality of the expression? That would be OK, but my sense is that the quality is there as well. We won't know for sure until I start working on 2003 Musings - Vol II in a couple of months. Until then, though, it seems that the expression should continue in the manner that it has. I see no reason to restrict it or put the brakes on in any way. Though, after August, that might be a good time to regroup and decide what we want to do for the remainder of the year. By that time we should have met our goal of six books to the publisher in 2003.
“But if you'll walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn some things you never knew you never knew.”
This line from Colors of the Wind being sung by Vanessa Williams is one of the main reasons for capturing this stream of consciousness. The hope is that in doing so we allow you to "walk the footsteps of a stranger" and "learn some things you never knew you never knew". That benefit justifies all the effort that goes into this endeavor. If I do nothing else with my life, being the wayshower and providing an example for others to follow into the realms of consciousness is the one thing that I must accomplish. My life must have purpose. My life must have meaning. And this, more than anything else, is it. I've always liked this song. It is very powerful spiritually. Not just this particular line, though I am partial to it ... but the whole song. It is definitely inspired.
11 June 2003
Again we face the blank page as we do so often lately. And again we call on consciousness to fill it in whatsoever manner she will. Yes, we give her free reign in this. In a very real way, this is her show ... I am only along for the ride. And, what a ride it is. I cannot imagine a more adventurous journey than the one that consciousness has taken me on. Here I get to encounter and explore the unknown, and hopefully even make part of what was unknown known. That endeavor is one worthy of my attention and my effort. It is worthy of everything that I can give to it. There is something special about being able to fill this page with words, and the ideas that they convey, in this manner. This is creativity operating at its finest through me. This is the best of what I can do ... and I freely choose to do it and share it with all who find their way to the world of Beyond Imagination. Yes, there is enough expressed at Beyond Imagination to constitute a world, or at least a worldview. I have known since the earliest days of this expression that these works of consciousness were not mine alone ... they were meant to be shared with an unseen audience. This knowingness hasn't changed in all of these years. In fact, if anything, the desire to share is even stronger now than it has ever been. It is so strong that it is moving me to think in new ways about how to share this expression. Publishing books is one such avenue. It seems that the time is right for doing this. We'll have to see what other avenues become viable in the days, weeks, and months ahead.
I continue to do what I am moved to do. Lately, that has been to do many things. It seems important to continue with this expression. This provides the bread and butter of spiritual discourse for me. For the most part, each day I engage in a fresh new expression of consciousness. Each day, something comes forth that never existed before. This is where the creative spark is allowed to manifest as it will in my life.
In addition, I work on getting other works ready for publication. Right now, that involves doing the proofing of 2003 Musings - Vol I. This is a slow process. I have to read each word, each phrase, each sentence ... and make corrections as needed. I don't do any rewriting of the material. I trust that it was expressed correctly the first time. I do try to catch the spelling errors, typos, and incorrect words however. The proofing takes about an hour per 15 pages at best. That means over 20 hours for a 288 page manuscript. Yes, that is a lot of time to invest. It is not clear that the amount of errors that I am finding makes it worth the effort. But, I would like the book to be reasonably free from errors when it goes to the publisher. So, it seems that I have little choice here. I'm not in a position to hire anyone to do the work at this point. Some day, perhaps. And, maybe even soon. There is something about doing those things that only you can do. Clearly, proofing is not one of those things that demands my unique gifts and talents. There are much better things that I could be doing with 20 hours of my time. For instance, generating 20 pages of new expression from consciousness. Or, putting the draft of Best Quotes from Beyond Imagination together. The bottom line is that I shouldn't have to do things that do not challenge me, things that I am not particularly good at. It is not a matter of whether I can do them or not. It is a matter of whether there are others who can do them better ... hence should be doing them. Unfortunately, the economic system comes into play and limits what we are able to do in this area. It doesn't have to be that way. The economic system could also free us to do things in new ways if we allow it to do so. However, to do this we have to be willing to invest of whom that we are into "the system". This is where the principle from The Lion King come into play the secret to life is to never take more than you give. This is how we generate abundance. When enough of us choose to do this, we will have abundance on a major scale. However, it all starts with what we choose to do as individuals. The more that we can give in excess of what we take, the better. Spiritual law will ensure that we receive what we need and what we deserve. We need to be careful about what we believe that we deserve however, as this can constrain what we are able to receive in our lives.
Where are we going with all of this? We are free to make the world into anything that we choose to make it. That is within our power to do. Further, that is within our collective right to do. But, it is also our collective responsibility. Rights always come with their corresponding responsibilities. There is no free lunch. But responsibilities do not have to be experienced as burdens. We can find ways to bear them joyfully. It is all a matter of attitude. We need to approach things in the right ways ... in ways that are empowering and ennobling. We can always do that. There is always a way. We just have to be open to it and find it. Life is what we make of it ... no more and no less. We have chosen to live in some interesting times. Yet, the changes that we have seen to date are nothing compared to what is in store for us in the times immediately ahead. Am I speaking of months, years, or decades? If I had to guess at this point, I would say years ... but one way or another, we will see very shortly. How can I know this? I just do. It comes from inside someplace that simply knows. No, I am not always right, especially when it comes to the timing of things. However, the errors generally have occurred when there was a personal involvement in the outcome. Here, we are simply dealing with timing for overall changes in the reality that we experience. There is no personal element at play, other than a desire to get on with it.
What would I do next? It seems that I ask this question nearly everyday. And, it is a good question to ask. It keeps us focused and on purpose. Clearly expressing here is one of the choices that I am making. And, I will continue to work on 2003 Musings - Vol I later this evening so that I can finish it by next week. But, what else is there that I could be doing? ... that I need to be doing? How do I make others aware of what I do here? It seems that this is important. It seems that I need to find ways to get the word out. This is a service that I provide. The more people that consume the service, the greater the overall affect and benefit. It is not enough just to express and make the expression available on the WWW. We must start doing more to get the word out. For many years I considered this to be spirits job, not mine. But, it seems that spirit intends to employ me to do this job as well. That is OK. It is time for a change in how I interact with the world. 45 years as a hermit is more than sufficient. Though, my sense is that I will always prefer my own company and enjoy my solitude. However, I am open to sharing far more of my life with others in my world than I have to date. What else am I moved to do? This question has multiple answers. If I am constrained to work at my present job and do my spiritual work in my off time ... there is only so much that I can do. However, if I can find a way to free myself to do the spiritual work on a full time basis, literally the sky is the limit. Though, I'm already starting to think of ways to bring more of the later into existence even if I am stuck in the former situation for awhile longer. How long that might be, I don't really know. But, there is a definite sense that this is indeed temporary. I am meant to be free and the conditions for my liberation are manifesting even as we speak ... primarily because I am doing the things necessary to manifest them. I look forward to what lies ahead. But, in the meantime, I can take full advantage of what each day has to offer. My life continues to be lived in the moment with an eye to the future. I would be what I am capable of becoming. It would be nice if I knew that this would be manifest by such and such a date. But, the bottom line is that it doesn't matter. Spirit's timing is perfect. Everything will happen in its right timing ... that I can count on. Until then, I am to make the best of whatever circumstances I find myself within. I am creating my reality now. We all are. And, we could be doing it consciously if that is what we desired to do and were willing to work to do. However, most don't seem to want to put in the work. Also, it means accepting responsibility ... and many shy away from doing this as well.
It is curious that consciousness speaks through me in this manner, especially since I speak to no one in this manner and no one speaks to me in this manner. How is it that this expression can continue to come forth as it does, bringing forth new information nearly every day? The bottom line is that I don't really know how it is possible. I only know that it happens. The expression that you are reading came forth and was recorded on the days as indicated. The daily expression is going on over 17 months or 500 days now. That is a lot of expression. Yet, there is no denying that it exists. One of my challenges is to establish a reality framework that is sufficient to account for what I experience. That has been quite a chore in itself as my experiences in consciousness have been more than a bit outside of any norms. Through it all, my focus has been singular ... know thyself. Very little else mattered. That is why my life has been what it has. That is why people have for the most part been absent from it. However, there is a sense that this is changing. My focus is shifting beyond myself to others in my world. Exactly what I'm going to do with this, I don't yet know. But, there is a sense that my self-imposed isolation will not work for much longer. Carrying out my mission requires that I interact with others, and that I do so on many levels. I can do this. I have done this before. No, not in this existence. But, our abilities are not limited by what we have learned and done in this existence. Hmm ... how can I know that. Again, it seems obvious. There are so many things that we know that we were not taught in this existence. They had to come from someplace. Prior existences are a likely candidate. Yes, that means I subscribe to reincarnation. It never made sense to me that we only had one lifetime to learn and experience and do everything we needed to learn and experience and do. That would be like saying you have to learn everything in one grade in school. We have people who spend 20 plus years in school and then continue taking courses to learn things throughout the remainder of their lives. We have others who don't make it through high school and never pick up a book or take a class after that. Different people are here to learn and experience and do different things. That is OK. We need to give people the opportunity to be the best that they can be ... but, this is not something that they can be forced to do.
12 June 2003
Another day ... another musing. Our work on 2003 Musings - Vol I is winding down. In fact, I may be able to finish the proofing tonight. Then it is just a matter of making the corrections and selecting some excerpts. I'm still targeting getting the book in the mail to the publisher early next week. That will make three down and three to go for the year. Who would have believed it was possible? Let's see, June 16 would mean that I took a month and a half to complete the work after the final material for the book was generated. That's not bad. I have no idea of what is a typical amount of time for it to take to get words to print. Though, it clearly can't take much less than this ... especially for works of this magnitude. The work comes to nearly 600 pages and none of the material existed before this year. Yes, consciousness has been quite prolific this year. Unlike last year, I wasn't moved to condense the material by a factor of 3 to 4 as when selecting Best Passages. I dropped some introductory material and some excursions into the realm of numbers, but retained most of the rest of the musings intact. That is why the volume of material for four months in 2003 exceeds the volume of material for the whole year in 2002. Best Passages did indeed provide a filter that selected the best for the year. For 2003, it seemed important to retain more of the expression in its original form. It provides a better example of what comes forth from day to day. And, there is a Best Quotes section at the end for those who want to read an abridged version. Even that comes to over 100 pages however.
One might think that I am obsessed with the quantity of expression. When you are bringing forth 2-3 pages per day in 8.5 x 11 format, that comes to closer to 4 pages in 5.5 x 8.5 book format. It adds up quickly. That's about right. That would be roughly 480 pages in 4 months. If I'm going to be a writer, the quantity of expression is indeed important ... all the more important when I serve as a vehicle through which spirit herself can express. This is stream of consciousness expression after all. As such, it is far more important than anything that I might dream of expressing myself. Hmm ... interesting that I would say that, but that is exactly how I feel. There is something special about this expression, something magical. Here, spirit speaks to me and through me to you. I never know what is going to come forth. That is part of what makes the endeavor so interesting to me. That is why I am willing to invest so much of my free time in doing this. Ultimately, there is a sense that what is expressed will impact the world, and will do so in significant ways ... perhaps even major ways. For me, it is very important to live my life in a manner that makes a difference, a meaningful difference to the world in some way. I came to serve society, to serve the world, and to serve spirit ... not necessarily in that order. And, I will do whatever it takes to do so. This expression has been my primary way of serving for the past decade. It is not clear that it has had the intended impact ... at least not yet. Perhaps the expression is ahead of its time. Perhaps the channel wasn't as clear as it could have been. But, I have read most of the material several times and I am impressed and amazed by what has been expressed. Beyond Imagination will be a force to be reckoned with in the world. How soon, I do not know. But, the sense is that it won't be long now. Getting books published is a major step forward. It demonstrates a heightened level of commitment on my part but also on spirit's part since she moves me to do all that I do.
So, what am I to do next? Do as you are moved to do. But, what am I moved to do? I need to find a way to free myself to do the works of Beyond Imagination on a full time basis. That means deriving my income from my spiritual work. Is this too much to ask? I am willing to work extremely hard to serve society by serving spirit. I already demonstrate a high level of commitment to this in what I do in my free time. What is it worth to spirit and to society for me to do more of this? ... for me to engage all that I AM in this endeavor? That is what I want to do. That is what I am asking to do. But I need sufficient income to cover my needs in return for my efforts. I should be able to make my living by doing what I love to do. And, this expression is clearly what I love to do. We could easily generate another half dozen Beyond Imagination books in 2004 if this were our full time occupation. We may be able to come close to doing that even if we have to continue this effort in our free time. It is amazing what we can do when we are committed to something and passionate about doing it. This expression is something I am passionate about. Carrying out my mission is something that I am passionate about. Spreading the vision of Beyond Imagination is something I am passionate about. There is nothing that can stop me from doing these things.
I will continue to express so long as consciousness has something to say through me. My sense is that this will be for the remainder of my years in this existence. I was silent for a long time. I guess it is only right that I speak out to balance the scales. Though, in this case, I speak with a voice that is not really mine. It is a voice that comes through me but is not of me. How can I know this? We just know these things. We have an innate sense of what is us and what is not us. This voice that speaks through me comes from a place deep inside of me, but it is not a physical place. The voice doesn't belong to an entity that is separate from me. It comes from something that I call source, consciousness herself. A piece of this source is a part of me, but this piece can't be separated from the rest of source ... from the rest of the one consciousness. I allow this source to speak through me because I find her words to be of utility in my life. I record and share these words because I feel they could be of utility to others as well. This makes it worth my time ... this makes it worth expending nearly 1/5 of my waking life in this endeavor. Yes, that is a lot. But, at least I have something to show for my having lived. Lately, each day there is another musing, another record of two to three hours of allowing source to speak through me. I would have it no other way. I look forward to this expression each day. Here is where I get to be and express whom that I AM in ways that I can't do anywhere else. There is something to be said for that.
When will the economic freedom that I seek arrive in my life? Is there something more that I need to do to make it happen? The sense is that I have put the wheels in motion via publishing books. Though, the return will not be immediate. It will take awhile for the word to get out. In fact, there may be things that I need to do to facilitate that happening. That is OK. There is a sense that I have reached a point where I am ready to do whatever it takes ... within reason, of course. How do I get the word out? How do I introduce people to Beyond Imagination and who I am? How do I get people to want to buy and read Best Passages from 2002 Musings? The sense is that if I can get people to read one book, it is very likely that they will be moved to read others. So, I need to have many others available for them to choose from. Overall, my assessment is that the Beyond Imagination material is that good that it is worthy of being purchased and being read. It seems we shall see soon enough whether the universe agrees with this assessment. I can only do my part. I can only write what I am moved to write and make it available. I thought I had done that by posting material to the Beyond Imagination site. But, clearly, that was not enough. It seems that I am on the right track now.
13 June 2003
Friday the 13th. I finished 2003 Musings - Vol I today. I'll definitely be able to get it into the mail to the publisher on Monday as planned. It was a lot more work than I thought it would be. But, it is a pretty clean manuscript now. Another one down. It is time to move on to the next project. The Best of Notes books are next. The drafts are done. I'll use the spell checker and grammar checker to catch most of the errors. I still need to write an Introduction and a Conclusion to both books but they tend to flow very easily. I'm thinking seriously about doing a work based on Beyond Mind that includes commentary from my present state of awareness ten years later. I think it would be interesting to see how I would evaluate what was coming forth then and how I was interpreting it from my present vantage point. I need to come up with a way to distinguish the 1993 text from the 2003 text. Perhaps using a different font or italicizing. I've done this once before with one of the best quotes pages where I added a twist that identified how I felt about the passage when I generated the best quotes page.
Just created the basic file for Beyond Mind. By itself, it comes to 145 pages. If I can double that with commentary about what was happening from my current perspective ... it should make for a decent work. It will be different than anything else that has been expressed at Beyond Imagination to date. It feels like the right thing to do. This is an important piece of the history of Beyond Imagination. It captures the expression from that first day on 5 March 1993 through the time writing for the Beyond Imagination book and Beyond Imagination Notes began in November of 1993. As such, it literally captures the birth of the expression that is Beyond Imagination and it captures a mind in the process of going beyond itself. It is curious that this ends with my first visit to the mental hospital. I've done the easy part ... formatting what already existed. Now, I need to fill in the rest, adding completely new expression. Though, doing this has been on the back of my mind for awhile. The sense is that once I commit to it, the words will flow quickly. The question of the day however, is this what I want to do next. Originally, I had planned on this for a 2004 task. But, something is urging me to do it now. It is as if I need to learn something from the process of doing it. Best of Notes is basically down to a proofing task for both books. I need something that is more of a challenge, something that engages me more fully. This new project has the potential to do that. There is much that needs to be examined, and much that needs to be explained. My mind was doing some funny things between March and October of 1993 ... things that were beyond anything that I understood at the time. Actually, even ten years later, it is not clear how well I understand and can explain what was happening to me. That is OK. It seems life is like that. Some things that we experience simply have no explanations no matter how long or how hard we seek for them.
Clearly I need to find a way to do this on a full time basis. There is so much that is waiting to be expressed ... so much that it will take a lifetime for me to complete it all. Perhaps that is the point. I expect to be expressing for my entire lifetime. I would express what spirit would express through me. Right now, that is this stream of consciousness. How long that will continue to be, I cannot know. Though, I sense that we will have a long and prosperous relationship. Hmm ... that is an interesting way to put it. This expression enlivens me. It brings out the best that is in me. It allows me to be whom that I AM in ways that nothing else in my life does. Here, I feel that I can make a difference. Here, I can use my god-given talents to serve spirit and to serve the world. It is important to me that I make a difference ... a big difference. It is important that I leave the world a better place for my having lived. Yes, that is a big responsibility to shoulder. But, I gladly bear it. I can't imagine living life in any other way. It simply wouldn't be worth living. No, I don't expect everyone to live by the standards that I set for myself. And yes, they are my standards. There is no one imposing them on me. I create them and accept them willingly.
So, it seems that I have some idea of what I am to do next. However, that is definitely going to compete with my time here. Both endeavors require new expression and there is no way to do them both at the same time. The best that I can do is to set aside some time each day to do each ... and to arrange my days so that I can devote as much time as possible to the two expressions. All that I can do is my best. What must be done will be done in the proper timing. This is not for me to determine, it is for spirit. I am a willing servant doing as I am moved to do. I am in her majesty's service now and grateful for the privilege of being so. All of the works of Beyond Imagination are my works ... but they are her works as well. Without her, none of this would ever have seen the light of day. This is all the stuff of consciousness made flesh in my life.
15 June 2003
Yes, missed another day of musing. But, I was busy from 8:00 AM to midnight ... so there just wasn't a free hour to engage in this expression. Some days are like that. We should be able to do much better today. It is only 3:30 and we have finished our chores ... so there are several hours available to express, even with the commute back to LA this evening. I'm still on track for getting 2003 Musings - Vol I in the mail to the publisher tomorrow morning. The next works in my plan are the Best of Notes books. At the rate I'm going, I'm sure I'll finish proofing them before I have the money together to publish them. Then again ... spirit has her ways to surprise me. My sense is that I am being moved to do all of this now for a reason. Somehow, the time is right in a way that it has never been before. It is as if the world is finally ready for what Beyond Imagination has to offer ... or at least some significant portion of the world is anyway. All that I can do is go with the flow and do what I am moved to do, trusting that consciousness knows exactly what she is doing, even if I may not at times. I'm used to this now. There are many things in my life that I do not know that consciousness seems to know. Further, there are even things that I know without knowing how it is that I know them. It can get a bit scary at times. The unknown can be a terrifying place. But, it doesn't have to be. It can be a place of adventure ... and even a place where we have fun exploring our own limits. All that it takes to be these things is the proper attitude. Our attitude is something that we choose. This is where our power for creating the reality that we experience comes into play.
I'm still coming up with ideas for books. We could easily be up to a dozen by the end of 2004. And, were not talking about small books. Were talking about an average of 400-500 pages per book. 12 books would come to nearly 5000 pages. That is a lot of material to make available to the public in two years. But, we do what we are moved to do. This act of going public is an important milestone for Beyond Imagination. In many ways, it is even more important than the first act of going public by posting material to the WWW in 1995. Can it really have been eight years ago? That is simply amazing. I have the same challenge now as I had then. How do I get people to come to my site? If you build it, they will come. But, that doesn't seem to have worked in this case. I built and I built and I built ... but while some came, nowhere near the numbers I had expected came. I still don't know why. I still maintain the Beyond Imagination web site and post new material to it on nearly a daily basis. I consider it an extension of whom that I AM. I offer it as an example of the level of sharing that I would like to see happen in the world. It doesn't cost much to keep a presence on the WWW. My costs are less than $10/month. I find that amazing considering what it enables me to provide to the world. So, will the books be any different? If I publish them, will they sell? Will they find the audience for whom they are suited. I was reading a book on writing and publishing books. It said that how-to books are what are really selling these days. People want information on how-to do any number of things ... and they are willing to pay and pay dearly for the information in some cases. Another interesting point was not to limit our function to that of author. We are information providers. There are a number of formats in which information can be provided ... book, classes, audio tapes, videos, seminars, special topic reports pamphlets, newsletters etc ... Different people find it easier to consume information in particular formats. There is not one size and one type fits all.
I don't know how much to make of this advice. It seems that I am going to have to find a way to do it my way ... or as spirit would do it through me anyway. This is not your typical material. The closest it comes to self-help is providing an example of consciousness expressed in flesh for you to engage in and experience in your own way. The hope is that by walking in the shoes of my consciousness for awhile, you will start to see signs of your own consciousness. You can liken this expression to training wheels on a bicycle. We use them only until we can freely ride on our own without them. Though, the analogy is only partially correct. This expression also ventures into the unknown and brings back what it finds. By reading this, you can benefit from those sojourns as well.
Father's Day. It is curious, I've known since I was a young teen that I would not be a physical father in this existence. Though, I have had many furry children over the years ... and currently have two, Teddy and Daffi that I love dearly. However, there is a sense that my works are my children. This is even more strongly felt for the books that are published. The publishing process is very much one of birthing the works. What existed only as characters in a file or on a screen is now physically manifest in the pages of a book ... and my name appears on the cover as the author. There is something about seeing your name on the cover of a physical book that does something to you. It is a special experience. So far, I've only seen the proof copy ... but it was real, all 522 pages of it. That is the first of my children. If all goes well, it will be available for purchase in less than two weeks. The second book trails that by about ten weeks. And the third, by another two weeks beyond that. It takes roughly three months from submitting a book until available for purchase. That would mean The Early Works will come out around the end of August and 2003 Musings - Vol I will come out around the middle of September. Hmm ... that would mean it took 1.5 months to get 2003 Musings - Vol I ready to submit. That's about right, it took about one month to generate and format and two weeks to proof. I don't see how I could do this much faster. The remain 3 months is nearly all on the publishers end. There is nothing I can do to streamline that other than provide as clean of a manuscript as possible and do the final proofing quickly. So, I could have three children by early Fall. Then, depending on availability of funds ... could have another three later in the Fall or early into the Winter. The goal is to have six in 2003. At this point, that seems to be an achievable goal.
Hmm ... I was just thinking. It would be nice to have my children be able to support me in my old age. I've often considered myself to be an ancient soul. How much older can you get than that? I can create as many children as is necessary to provide a stable support base for the years to come. Six seems like a good number to start with. We can easily expand on this each year. If we were doing this full time, rather than part time, we could probably generate close to one million words per year. Yes, that is a lot of expression. Is it in me to do that for the remainder of my life? Perhaps. But, at some point, it seems that I will need to share whom that I AM more directly than I can through this expression. That doesn't mean that this expression isn't necessary or can go away. It seems that spirit has much more to say here ... as do I. Though knowing when it is spirit, and knowing when it is me is not so easy to distinguish. Not that it really matters. We are one anyway. Could I speak before an audience? Could I do a series of lectures? Could I do package advice on reality creation into a seminar? There are a lot of possibilities. But, it seems that for some of this, I need the right support group around. How do I build such a group? Where do I find those who are meant to be its members? This does not seem to be something that I can do alone. Oh, I could try. And, I would give it a valiant effort. But, the sense is that this is not enough ... the task demands more. Just knowing that I need such others in my life is a starting point. It puts me on the lookout. What I seek, I will find eventually. How soon that will happen depends on the effort that I put into it and what destiny calls for. Things happen in their right timing in my life. They cannot be forced, try though as I might. Allowance is by far the better route ... for me anyway. Though, it seems that there are times when the conditions call for us to take bold and decisive action. When this is the case, it is best to do as we are moved to do and do so. How long might it take to substantially augment my income via my children? The sense is that it won't take long. The bigger question is at what point will this income replace that of my present job completely? That is the major milestone that I am shooting for. That is the milestone that allows fundamental changes to take place in my life. Will this happen in 2003? That is a lot to ask for. All that we can do is continue to do what we are moved to do and see where that leads. Everything suggest that the current path is right somehow. It has been awhile since I have been this motivated to express on such a regular basis. Actually ... since 1993, the expression that began on 1 January 2002 is unique. There were a few months in 1995 when the Notes were expressed nearly daily. But here, we are in our 18th month with every right to expect that the expression will continue through the end of the year. What makes us believe this? There is something about the state that we are in. The expression is in a new mode. It is as if it must come forth ... preferably each day. It seems that the very act of expression frees the slate so that more can be brought through.
So, what am I moved to do next? This expression is still the #1 priority in my life. Yes, it is that important to me. Spirit must be given a vehicle through which to speak. This stream of consciousness is the greatest gift that I can give to the world at this time. It is by far the most productive use of my time that I am engaged in. How can I be so certain of this? Simply because this is the only expression in which I am engaged that is likely to have lasting value of any kind. Yes, that is saying a lot about how little I interact with others. The good news is that I am spending a lot of time doing the thing that I consider most important in my life. Further, this very thing is likely to have the most impact on and benefit to society. Will that happen within my lifetime? It seems that I need to live as if it will, whether it actually does or not. It is important for our lives to make a statement ... to have an impact on society and the world. This doesn't just happen. This requires that we do something with our abilities and talents, and with our time, to serve society. Service is the highest use of our time that there is. However, we need to make sure the service maximizes the use of our abilities. That makes it the greatest service that we can provide. On a mass scale, that ensures services are provided most efficiently. Part of "this expression" is packaging the various works into books and doing what it takes to ready them for publishing. That has been a significant time sink of late. Hopefully, it is one that will pay back major dividends. It seems that we shall see soon enough what the results of this investment will be. So far, everything seems promising. I feel good about it anyway. And, at this point, that is what counts.
How I make this expression my vocation has been a recurring topic of late. There must be a reason for that, and it seems that it is more than wishful thinking. It seems that I am putting in place the circumstances that free me to work as I desire to work. When it will actually happen, I do not know. However, that it will happen seems to be a certainty. I've felt this way before. I've felt that the circumstances to free me to do my spiritual work on a fulltime basis were forthcoming. However, there was never an appropriate means for achieving this available before. The Beyond Imagination books offer the means. They are my Get out of Jail Free card. They took a lot of work to generate. I would estimate that I've put in over 5000 hours into Beyond Imagination expression over the past decade. Yes, that is the equivalent of over 2.5 years of full time work. That's quite impressive when you look at it that way. However, we are probably at 1500 hours of that since 1 January 2002. Yes, close to 1/3 of the expression in the final 1/7 of the time. How many people choose to put 5000 hours into anything in their life? That's an average of 10 hours per week for 10 years. My sense is that the answer would be very few. Far fewer still put the hours into creative expression. And, very few indeed are concerned with the nature of reality and reality creation. Yet, I do what I do because I must ... I have no real choice in the matter. It is as if I am manifesting a destiny that I only had a loose role in creating, and then on other than conscious levels.
So, what will my life be like one year from now? It seems that it could be very different in very substantial ways. Will I be free from the economic burden of a job? Possibly. It seems that depends on what I do. It is all in my hands now. Spirit has given me the means to free myself. However, she will not do it for me. This is something that I must want and create for myself. That is a new way to express for me. So be it. It is time for me to state my preferences in the game of my life. This doesn't mean they will be realized necessarily ... but, at least it gives them a chance. To state my preferences, I have to know what they are. It seems at some level I already know this. It is a matter of making them conscious. We need to be careful here to limit what we prefer to what it is that we truly want in our life. Sufficient abundance from this expression that I don't have to do the bidding of any Prince as Thoreau said, I believe. I would do the work of Spirit, or allow Spirit to do her works through me. That is what the expression that is Beyond Imagination is all about. This is what we have been doing for over a decade now. This is what we desire to continue to do for the rest of our life, only on a full time basis. Is the desire strong enough to make it so? It is clearly much stronger now than it has ever been. In the past there was a strong desire to not want to continue doing the things that I was stuck doing. But now, we have more than that. We have something that I could be doing ... in particular, something far more beneficial to society and to the world. That alone seems to be sufficient to cause it to manifest eventually. But, I would have it happen now ... or even yesterday. There aren't too many things that I feel strongly about. This definitely is one of them. Yet, I clearly am not an impartial observer in this matter. This is my life we are talking about. I would live it as I desire to live it. Though, this does not come out of a space of being selfish. Beyond Imagination is about providing service ... the greatest service that we can to others, to our society, and to our world. However, to do this we must know whom that we are. Know thyself is as valid of a directive today as it has always been. Perhaps even more so, since we are more complex beings then we have ever been. Also, there are so many distractions in our world today that finding quiet time to spend on knowing ourself is very difficult to do. It is as if one has to turn away from the world to find the self. In fact, that is exactly what is required. One needs to turn inward and seek what would come forth from within. Everything expressed at Beyond Imagination is an example of what you can find when you do this. No, that doesn't mean that your life will be taken over by this expression as mine seems to have been. In my case, this is all tied to my mission ... my purpose for entering into this existence this time around. Your experiences will depend on what you purposes are. Whatever they are, they will be right for you. It is not appropriate to judge the experiences of one against the experiences of another. What matters is did we do what we came to do and did we do it to the best of our abilities? The only person that can really judge how successful we were is ourselves. We know innately what we are capable of. We know when we are doing our best. The usual signs are by how happy we are and how fulfilled we are.
16 June 2003
Book number three is off to the publisher. That brings me to the halfway point of my goal of six for the year. Actually, I'm closer than that since two works only require introductions, conclusions, and proofing. Though, proofing can take substantial effort all by itself ... and if memory serves me, were talking about another 800 pages between the two Best of Notes books. That's OK. I can't think of anything better to do with my time than creating these works. There is a sense that these are classic, that they are timeless, that they will exist long after I have departed this existence. Is what I capture in this stream of consciousness that important? I believe that it is. I may not know exactly how or exactly why, but there is a sense that I am indeed engaged in something special. Anyway, so long as I continue to feel this way, I am moved to express in this manner ... allowing consciousness to express through me as she will. It seems that the free expression of consciousness is the most powerful form of this expression. It is when I give up the reigns that spirit takes control. Or, at least, so it seems from my vantage point looking from the inside out. I am still amazed that all of this could be expressed through me. I still don't know exactly who the audience is meant to be. Though, it seems that there will indeed be one ... perhaps even in the near future. It seems that my life is moving in a direction towards being more outwardly focused. That is not difficult considering how extremely inward focused it has been all of my life to date. It is time for a change. And, I sense that I am ready for one.
What do all of these works offer the reader? That is a good question. The biggest benefit is that you get to see and experience consciousness in action as she expressed in my life anyway. How does this relate to your life? It provides an example of how consciousness can express that you may not have experienced before. My hope is that this example serves to awaken something within you. By walking in my stream of consciousness, perhaps you will encounter something about your own ... and you will in the process learn something about yourself that you never knew you never knew. As an explorer of consciousness and a wayshower, that is what I have to share. What you take away from this is up to you. I am still moved to express incessantly ... for several hours per day. That is the fun part of my day. That is when I am doing what I know to be my mission. Though, it seems that simply expressing is not going to be enough for much longer. I will need to play an active role in getting the word out to those who are meant to hear this message and be moved by the works of this endeavor that is Beyond Imagination. Further, Beyond Imagination is not meant to be an endeavor of one for very long. It has effectively been that for over a decade, but it is time to start finding others with whom to share the Vision and the effort. Not that spirit can't do a lot working through me. It's just that spirit could do so much more working through a group of us who were cooperating to manifest the Vision. We are here to build the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. Yes, that is a challenging task. Yet, it is one that is worthy of our best efforts. This is what the Aquarian Age is all about. This is destined to happen. The only question is when. That is dependent on the collective effort that we apply to making it so. We can create the world to be whatsoever we choose for it to be. It is important that we choose wisely. Further, it is important that our choices encompass the whole world. At some level we are collectively responsible for all of us. We live in a cooperatively interdependent world. However, few of us truly see and realize this. We appear to be separate and independent. But, these are appearances that are somewhat illusory ... they only show us part of the story. The world is richly interconnected. There are interdependencies everywhere. There is an incredible amount of cooperation that goes into creating the reality that we experience. We just need to look for it in the right ways to see it. It seems that many are still blind to this. That can be changed. Further, it must be changed if the consensus reality is going to change substantially. And, that is what we are trying to do. We are attempting to change the very nature of reality that people experience. That is what the new age asks for. That is what the new age promises. But, it is up to those of us who are wayshowers to deliver it.
How does one compare what is expressed here with what is expressed elsewhere? Is it even fair to make such comparisons? It seems that each work, each book, should be judged on its own merit. Publishing six books in a year involves making a lot of material available to the public. Yet, every book is different. The material spans a ten year period from The Early Works in 1993-1994 through 2003 Musings - Vols I, II from this year. Only Beyond Imagination: Foundations for Creating a New World and Reality Creation 1010 included in The Early Works came forth as "books" in their own right. And, even then, they were dictated sequentially, in chapter order, in basically a stream of consciousness manner. Everything else was straight stream of consciousness expression with no organization to it other than that provided by consciousness herself. We did filter Best Passages from 2002 Musings selecting about one-fourth to one-third of what was expressed during the year. For 2003, we attempted to do similar filtering to no avail. For some reason, it was important to capture the bulk of the musings in their entirety. At least, so it was for Vol I. We'll see what happens for Vol II around the end of August.
I'm excited about what is coming forth. I haven't been this productive ever before. We are halfway through the eighteenth month of heightened expression, with no signs that it will tail off anytime soon. In fact, there is every sign that it will continue to increase in the days ahead. I am losing interest in the few things that occupied me and took time away from this expression. In particular, television and movies have lost their allure. I'd rather be expressing. More and more, I'm making the choice to express. Yes, there are limits to how far I can take this. But, I am nowhere near those limits yet. My weekend time is less productive than it could be. For one thing, I sleep far too much. That alone could give me 4-5 hours of available time. Time ... that is one thing that is the great equalizer. We all get 24 hours per day until our final day. It is for us to do with it as we will. Lately, it has become important to me to make the best of it. One goal is to do at least one thing each day that is worth my having lived. Most of the time that is engaging in this expression. I've set 1,000 words as a minimum and 2,000 words as a target for each day. No, I don't like quotas, but that gives me something to shoot for and provides a sense of accomplishment when I reach it. For full time expression, I would probably double this. In case you're wondering, we are at 1300 in this expression thus far.
What explains the increase in productivity? The timing was right for it to happen. The outer planets, in particular, had powerful transits that started early in 2002 and run throughout 2003. Yes, I believe astrology as a symbol system can explain and even predict some of these kinds of things. But, the bottom line is that whatever caused the increase doesn't really matter. All that matters is that I ride the wave and maximize what I do while the creative energies are with me. Will they last indefinitely? Perhaps, perhaps not. I've had my ups and downs before. The more information I capture while the information is flowing smoothly ... the more I'll have to work with if and when the flow dies down. At this point, it is not clear whether it will ever die down or not. This could be a one way switch that was thrown. In fact, that wouldn't surprise me in the least. I feel different now ... distinctly different than I was before 2002. In a very real way, this expression is whom that I AM. It changes as I change. That is why the expression is different this year than last. Nothing remains static. With each moment of expression, I become something more than I was before. And, I leave a record of that here for you to experience as well. From the beginning of this expression, the record aspect was highly important. Had I not written all of this down ... it would have only been a series of fleeting thoughts that passed through my mind. Now, I have thousands of pages of metaphysical expression. I plan to publish close to 2500 pages of material this year. If the musings continue at their present pace, I'll generate nearly 1500 pages of new material in 2003. The final third of this will be 2003 Musings - Vol III which comes out in early April of 2004. Hmm ... that would make a nice birthday present for myself if I can arrange it.
I speak of these projects, these works, as if they are already accomplished. And, to some degree they are. Yes, I have a role in facilitating their manifestation ... a big role. Further, this expression has a major role in my life. This expression defines who I am. It shows me the best of what I can be. It also shows me the best of what spirit can do expressing through me. I serve as a willing vessel. This is quality time for me. Time directly engaged with consciousness, with source, is special. It is precious. Because of this, it is not something to squander. Also, for me anyway, it is something to share. Though, my means of sharing is far more remote than most. I share via the words that are so freely expressed here. That it is not in person, doesn't seem to matter. There is a depth to the sharing nonetheless. My hope is that my example encourages others to share at similar levels. At the very least, it makes it OK that at least one other has been moved to share in this manner. At some point, I expect that the sharing will become more of an exchange ... but, to date it has been a unilateral expression. That is OK. It is what it is. I am happy to be able to express in this manner. There is a major release that comes from all of this for me. In addition, there is a major acceptance of myself and of the source that expresses through me. These are good things. Though they can lead to a degree of grandiosity at times, perhaps even a high degree of grandiosity. But, what would you think of yourself if all of this came through you in a decade? ... or in the volume that it has in the past 18 months? That is not such an easy thing to deal with. Yes, I put a lot of time into this endeavor ... but look at everything that comes out.
There is a sense that I need to be dealing with people in new ways soon. This is another year of destiny for me. The sense is that what I am a year from now will bear little resemblance to what I am now. Yet, how much difference can a year make? One year ago I was musing daily, but had no idea that I would have generated and sent three books to be published by now. In fact, I didn't even know that I would do that until a couple of months into this year. So, 2003 is definitely a year of manifestation in a different way than 2002. I am still doing the daily musings. However, I am also generating works that can be published. If only I could be doing this on a full time basis. I could easily triple if not quadruple my daily output. But, who would keep up with it? Who would read the equivalent of 8 single spaced 8.5 x 11 pages of text per day? That is a lot of material. Could I even generate that much on a regular basis? Perhaps not I, but the sense is that consciousness would have no trouble filling the pages. Whenever I get intimidated by the amount of blankness that must be filled, it always helps to remember that it is not me that is filling the pages, it is spirit filling the pages through me. To date, she has not had any problems in this area. So long as I allow her to speak, she seems ready and able to come through with quality information. Though, I'm probably not the best person to judge the quality of the expression. Given that it comes through me, I am clearly partial. This is a subjective experience for me.
18 June 2003
Yes, I missed another day of musing. But, I spent over 7 hours working on The Search for Center book and actually completed the 1st draft. It comes to just over 600 pages ... though, I may have to prune it down a bit. We'll see what I am moved to do when I take another pass through it. All told, I probably spent 12 hours on it in two days. That is a lot of effort to expend in a short time period. But, I got into a groove and wanted to get it done. When I can see the end in sight, I can get like that sometimes ... very determined. There is something wonderful about the sense of accomplishment that comes from all of this. We are not even halfway into the year, and I already have three books out to be published and another three completed waiting to be proofed. In addition, the musings continue so the material for a seventh book will be there by the end of August. Also, I'm sure that I'll make the time to put together a Best Quotes book in the next month or two. At this point, I don't know where I'm going to find the money to pay to publish all of these. But, somehow if it is meant to be, I will indeed find a way ... and, right now the sense is that it is definitely meant to be.
There is something about writing that excites me to the core of my being. This clearly is what I am here to do. There is no doubt about it. The only question is how do I make it my full time job? I believe I am ready to do that now, more ready than I have ever been. Yet, it is not clear how the opportunity to do this will present itself. It is not like there is someplace I can go to apply for the job. I am already demonstrating that I can do the job on a half time basis in my free time. It only seems right that I should reap the rewards for all of my efforts. Not that this expression is without its benefits. I've learned a lot by doing this that I could learn in no other way. And, I wouldn't trade my experience for anyone's. Being aware is that important ad that valuable. Yes, I consider myself aware ... more aware than most anyway. Yet, it is not clear how much I contributed to my own awakening in 1993. It seemed that this was destined. It was a spiritual inheritance of sorts. I really feel that way. Transiting Neptune conjunct Uranus exactly square to my Natal Sun was clearly a major trigger for me. It signified a major psychological breakpoint, a spiritual awakening that was unlike anything that I had ever experienced. Fortunately, I had nearly 20 years of metaphysical reading and study to assist me. However, most of that was in my head ... and the experience took me Beyond Mind. I became aware of myself as a conscious being, not just as a thinking being. There is a big difference. Though it is not clear that the difference is easy to explain. I don't know the source of my thoughts. But, the source of these words is different than the source of my thoughts. How can I distinguish between the two? There is just a feeling that when I am thinking, it is somehow me that is doing it. Though, thinking about it now, I am not aware of where the thoughts come from or where they go after I have thought them. So, how is this stream of consciousness any different? It seems to be a little more remote. There is a sense of reaching further inside for the expression that comes forth. In neither case do I sense that it is me that is originating what is expressed. Yes, it is coming forth through me. No, without me, it would not be happening. However, neither of those is sufficient to conclude that what comes forth is from me. It is through me yes, but not from me. This is a major distinction. Spirit expresses through us to the degree that we allow her to. That is where our free will comes into play to the degree that we allow her to. She doesn't force her way into our lives. Though, judging by the past two days of work on The Search for Center book she can indeed motivate us at times.
Celine Dion sings A New Day Has Come as I write this. I really like that song. It seems that I am hearing it quite often lately. It does indeed seem like the song is correct. We have entered a new day in a new age. What we will manifest will be glorious beyond imagination. It is within our power to create the world to be whatever we choose for it to be both individually and en masse. It is a matter of deciding what we want to create. Beyond Imagination offers a wealth of ideas regarding the kinds of things that we could create. Most important among these is the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. These foundations are ready to be built. They have been dreamed of for years. It is a matter of manifesting these dreams and bringing the foundations down to Earth. We can do this now. The time is right to make this happen. How many other people know this? How many other people are being moved to do things to create a better world? How many other people are being moved to find others to cooperate with to co-create a reality that they would prefer? These are always choices that are ours to make. It is a matter of deciding what we want, deciding how we want to live, deciding how we want to express, and deciding how we want to be. These can be tough decisions if we don't know what we want and don't know who we are. That is why know thyself is so important. It has always been important, but it is especially so in this day and age.
What would I do next? I'm still in the mode of being moved to publish books as rapidly as I can ... limited only by my standards of quality and my resources to get the work done and to pay for the publishing. This feels right. There is a sense that I am aligned with universal forces somehow, that I am doing exactly what I need to be doing at this time. I can imagine a shelf with a dozen Beyond Imagination titles on it as early as the end of 2004. Considering the first one should be officially published in another week or so, that is pretty amazing. It is as if out of nothing ... we have manifested a library of works. OK, a dozen books do not make a library ... though many people probably don't read a dozen books in their lifetime after their school years. I should be able to proof Best of Notes - Book 1 this weekend. That will make book 4. Lately, I've taken to setting goals for myself. For the most part, they are goals that stretch me beyond what I generally expect to achieve. So far, I've been able to surpass all of my expectations. At some point, I'm going to set the bar so high that even spirit operating through me cannot reach it. But, we are not there yet ... in fact, nowhere near there. We need to keep challenging ourselves to excel. That means putting ourselves in positions that give us the opportunity to excel. That means doing things that allow us to use our greatest abilities and talents in service to others and to our world in some way. We may not know exactly who we serve and how we serve them. That is the case with much of this expression to date. There is a general sense that this has value and that it is beneficial to some audience ... but because of the limited feedback to date, it is unknown what impact this has truly had on whom other than what I know based on the firsthand impact in my own life.
How do I reach the intended audience for this expression? On the one hand there is a sense that it will just happen when the time is right by spirit's doing. On the other hand, there is a sense that I can't necessarily count on that. This time, it is up to me to get things rolling and make something happen. Perhaps reality lies somewhere between the two ... spirit will do her part if and only if I do my part. Hmm ... I haven't been moved to state it in this manner before. But indeed it seems that my efforts are inextricably tied to spirit's efforts now. I am moved to do something, even though I don't know exactly what that is yet. The sense is that it will involve others ... that it will involve an outer expression in some way, an expression that is more than written even though that is my preferred method of communication. It seems that I need to broadcast the works of Beyond Imagination so that they reach a much larger audience than they have reached to date. The books provide a means for doing this. However, they are not the same as the live source that generated the words in the books. I need to make myself and this source available somehow. For a price, of course. In particular, for a price worth what is being exchanged. How does one put a price on the wisdom gained from 30 years of metaphysical study and 10 years of metaphysical expression? What do I offer that is of practical value in improving people's lives and experience of reality? Is this material worth the time and effort it takes to read and study it? My sense is that yes, this material is of practical value ... and it definitely is worth the time and effort. I know for a fact that it is for me anyway, and it seems that it should be for many others as well.
Am I ready to do speaking engagements? I guess I could grow into them if I need to. This expression is something that I am passionate about. That passion would come out with the right audiences. It doesn't take much. Metaphysics is a big area. The nature of reality and reality creation are big topics. Belief management is one of the most important skills that we can learn. It dramatically impacts the reality that we experience. It seems that many people need to be exposed to me in order to be exposed to the works of Beyond Imagination. It is not yet clear how this is to happen. Yet, it will indeed happen if such is meant to be. We have the foundations for a new world to build. This is no easy task. Yet, it will be a labor of love or it will not happen at all. Such is true for all spiritual work. It is propelled by love.
I'm counting every word tonight, anxious to reach the day's quota for musings so that I can get back to a second pass through The Search for Center book. There is such a sense of urgency to get all of these works ready to be published, even if I have to put them on the shelf in an awaiting funds state after that. This week anyway, nearly all of my free time has been consumed in work related to Beyond Imagination ... either in musing or in preparing works for publishing. Can I keep that pace up indefinitely? If so, I've stepped up what I can accomplish substantially. I'm rapidly losing interest in the few diversions that I allowed myself to indulge in. Even the TV shows that I used to like don't command my attention any longer. There is a sense that I am gravitating to the very position that I am meant to fill. This happens naturally if we allow it to. It is not something that can be forced, try though we might. The word patience comes to mind. Generally, I am a very patient person. But, there is an urgency in what I am doing now. There is a sense that what can be done today cannot and should not wait until tomorrow. We must make the most of each and every day ... of each and every moment. Yes, that is asking for a lot. No, it does not seem that this applies universally. But, there is some subset of the populous to which it applies. In particular, to those who have roles to play in bringing forth the new age. You will know if you are among this group, for you will be moved to act by a force that you find irresistible.
Completed the fast second pass through The Search for Center book. Caught the major formatting stuff and got rid of material that I thought might need copyright protection. That makes the bulk of the work my own. One key exception is the Community Forums which in some cases involved many people interacting on a variety of topics. I don't know that the participants knew that their inputs were being recorded or that they would be published some day. However, they have been available on the WWW for over six years and no one has complained ... so, I'll assume everything is OK. I think there is some benefit in allowing people to see some of the communication that does take place on the Internet. Let's see, at this point we're at 607 pages. I think that makes this the largest Beyond Imagination work to date. Though, not by a lot. 2003 Musings - Vol I came in at 596 pages.
Hmm ... it's only Wednesday evening and it has already been quite a productive week. This will be a difficult one to top. Though, now I have three books in the hopper to proof and that is the slowest part of the process. Some day I'll be able to pay someone to do that function. But, at this time the finances are still tight ... so, I am my own editor. The three works awaiting proofing total over 1400 pages worth of material. The three books already sent to the publisher by comparison come to 522 + 288 + 596 = 1406 pages as well. It surprised me that the split came out so evenly.
If we can publish all six of these books, that is over 2800 pages worth of material on the market in a single year. Actually, far more than that since this doesn't include 2003 Musings - Vol II, for which material gets generated almost daily ... and we should have enough for a book by the end of August.
From another perspective, this is somewhat deceptive. Much of this material existed prior to 2003. It was stream of consciousness expression captured as web pages at the Beyond Imagination site. Converting it to books was a matter of selecting, formatting, and proofing the material.
19 June 2003
The musings continue. It seems that so long as I make the choice to come here to express ... spirit makes the same choice and comes to express through me as well. That is the only way all of this could manifest. There is no way that I could create all that is expressed here on my own. Overall, with the exception of this expression, I am a very quiet person. I don't say much, I don't write much, and I don't even think much. Yet, with this expression I go to the head of the class. Here, I literally express for several hours per day in a way that is captured and shared. Why do I do it? Because I am moved to do it. It feels like the right thing to do in the moment. It doesn't matter that I don't know what is being communicated nor with whom it is being shared. I trust the process. There is something right about this. This is the natural expression of whom that I AM. Here, I can be the best that I can be; without the normal restrictions of day-to-day existence. Here I operate in the spiritual realm and because of this, what comes forth is sacred somehow. That does not mean that it is not to be questioned. I question it myself at times. However, it deserves to be heard and to be evaluated based on its utility. If it is useful, by all means use what comes forth. Though, you may not know just how useful it is until you try it and see for yourself what results.
The days keep ticking on, one after another. Where all of this is leading I don't really know. But, of late, I like where it is heading. It seems that we are moving in a direction towards manifesting a destiny ... in particular, my destiny. Further, it seems that the end is in sight soon, perhaps even very soon. Though it is not yet clear what the end will be. Oh, I have hints. There are suggestions about how my life and my world may be changing. But some of these are still in the wishful thinking category. Spirit may have something highly different but better in store for me. In any event, it seems that my world will be changing in major ways soon. How soon? I would prefer now ... to not wait a moment longer. But, this doesn't appear to be how spirit does things. It seems that the change will happen more gradually. Though the phrase within one year seems to set a reasonable timeframe. No, a year is not much. That is 2.2% of my life span at the most. Yet, at the pace that I have been generating works lately, a year is an eternity. That's over 1200 hours of available time to create and to serve spirit. It is possible that we could generate as many as one million words in that much time. Yes, another million words of expression! Who is going to read all of this? Is it intended that it be read? My sense is yes. There is a reason that this expression comes forth as it does and is shared as it is. Now, it is not only posted to the WWW as daily musings, but it is published in books as well. Hmm ... another million words. That is mind blowing when you think about it ... that a source within me can generate that much material in a year. Yet, 2002 is a case in point. And, we are nearly halfway through 2003 and the pace and volume have not diminished. In fact, it may even have picked up slightly. The big difference this year is all the extra work to package the Beyond Imagination material into books. That has been a major effort in addition to the regular musings. How long this will last, I still cannot predict. Though, I sense that it will definitely last through the end of this 2003. What happens after that, I don't know yet. It seems like much depends on how well the Beyond Imagination books do. I have every expectation that they will be successful ... even highly so. We shall see soon enough.
This is definitely a year of transformation. It is also a year of outreach. We are closing in on the halfway point in the year. In seems appropriate that our first book would be becoming available at this time. That gives us six months to do something with it ... to find ways to get it into the hands and minds of those who are meant to experience it. Yes, I do believe that such things are destined. Though, we do have to do our parts to facilitate what is destined. After all, it is only through us that it is made manifest. That is how spirit works, through us. She has no means to affect the world directly. We are her legs, arms, hands, and even her mind.
20 June 2003
The musing stopped short yesterday. Work occupied me for several more hours than I had expected. There was a task that I needed to get done and when I get committed to something, my focus can get single-minded. Anyway, I didn't get out of work until after 9:30 PM and didn't get home until close to midnight. But today is a new day. I made it one-third of the way through the proofing of Best of Notes - Book 1. Overall, it is pretty clean. I'm not finding many corrections that need to be made. Since I had three "weekend" days this week, I thought it would be easiest to partition the task evenly over these days. Proofing is somewhat tedious work. Though, it needs to be done. The published books should be reasonably clean. I don't expect perfection. We're bringing a lot of words to the world in a short period of time. Though, that is no excuse for sacrificing quality. All of the Beyond Imagination books are high quality products. They are content rich ... with content often coming from source, from spirit herself. How can I know that? I just do. I've been engaged in the process of expressing this stream of consciousness for over ten years. Even after over three million words, I still have no conscious awareness of being the source of all of this. Oh, I see the words enter my head and my fingers type them so they appear on the screen. And, there is an inner sense of whether what appears actually reflects what the stream of consciousness is conveying. But, typically this only involves a few words at the most. In ten years of expression, I have not been moved to go back and rewrite one sentence, or rearrange one paragraph. Whatever it is that is expressing knows exactly what it is doing. The closest I've come to "editing" is the selection of "Best of Notes" and "Best Quotes" and "Best Passages". But even with these, the selections are always in chronological order. Text between selections is removed, but the wording of the selections is untouched. How is it that finished work can come forth in this manner? What is it that is doing the organization? My answer is that source herself is responsible. If it is a part of me, it is clearly an other than conscious part.
These musings, and all of the expression at Beyond Imagination have essentially been stream of consciousness expressions. What does that mean? It means that they just come forth naturally and automatically. I don't have to force the expression or guide it. In fact, it is not clear how much I could do this even if I desired to. Though we have had several successful attempts at focusing the expression on particular topics for a given day's musing. At least, we managed to keep a loose focus anyway. You might conclude from this that I am not really in control of this expression. And, I would say that you are right. This is something that I have to do. It is as important to me as eating and maybe even breathing. This is how I exercise my spiritual self ... whom that I AM. To do less would be unthinkable now. My spiritual eyes have been opened. The world I see is different than the world that others see. Literally, it is animated by spirit everywhere that I look.
I got something in the mail this week from a company that finds people belonging to unclaimed money. It seems that I have nearly $1350 from an uncollected insurance claim in 1992. Subtracting the 10% fee would leave enough to publish the three books that are currently in the awaiting proofing stage. Is this a gift from the universe or what? On the way home last night, I was thinking about how I was going to come up with the money to pay for the publishing so that I didn't have to wait for a couple of months. I don't know for sure whether the claim is legitimate yet. The company is sending me information on it this week. But, if it is, it is definitely a sign that we are into manifesting what we need now. Actually, that just confirms something that I was feeling most of the week anyway. There is this incredible sense that my destiny is in my hands now in a way that it has never been before ... not to this degree anyway. There is a sense that I can make my life into whatever I desire for it to be. That works so long as it is a solo act. However, it seems that I still have to discover how to exist in the context of others. At this time, that is still not as important to me for some reason. It seems that there is still more that I can express as an individual tied to source. How long this will remain so, I do not know. I can only go by how I feel and what I am moved to do. Right now, I am moved to be an author. Being an author, however, means publishing a collection of books. One way or another, we'll get to at least six this year, and at least a dozen by the end of 2004. That is a lot. Yet, it seems now is the time for manifesting these works in this manner. It would be nice if the books would sell. And, I need to do things to facilitate that. But, sales are not the primary reason for publishing the works. Hmm ... what this does is make the Beyond Imagination works readily available to anyone, even to those without computers. Further, there is something about having a book in your hands that is different than reading pages of information from a computer screen. I do believe that the books have the potential to be a source of funds to free me economically and to allow Beyond Imagination to take wing and do its works in the world.
Reading the Best of Notes - Book 1, it is interesting to see what I selected as the best passages five years ago from material expressed nearly a decade ago. It is as if little has changed. I could be writing some of the same material in the same way now. Only I've changed. My awareness is different. As a result, the expression is different now. In some ways it is more personable. Though, it is not clear why. I still deal very little with people. Though, there is a desire to do more of this, or at least some of this. However, even there, I would do it on my own terms. Either it is done deeply, with spiritual meaning, or it simply doesn't interest me. If I can't do more in a social setting than I can do operating on my own, then my choice is to go it alone. Until I can see the power of synergy kick in by cooperating with others ... I am just not interested. Anyway, the quality of material in Book 1 is far better than I had remembered. It reconfirmed the fact that this expression was special. From its earliest days, wonderful material came forth ... material that offers good overall guidance for living a spiritual life. This provides an example of an aware being experiencing consciousness. The example allows you to see the world from a new perspective.
I'm probably not the best judge of the quality of the material. Clearly, since it came through me I'm a biased appraiser. However, I have read extensively in metaphysics over the past 30 years ... and I've seen nothing that is like what is expressed here. There have been many books that I have liked, even some that I have loved. But, the expression that has come forth from source through me equals or exceeds anything else that I have encountered. For instance, I did love the Conversations with God books by Neale Donald Walsch. I couldn't put them down. I cover similar material, but the nature of this expression is very different. Here, the stream of consciousness simply expresses. Occasionally, I ask questions ... but, not a lot. Further, there is not as clean a distinction of what comes from source and what comes from Wayne. It all comes from source through me. Even the questions that seem to come from me come from source. The bottom line is what does the expression do for you? Does it have value to you? Does it offer something of utility to your life? If so, that is all that really matters. That is enough to justify reading it and applying it in your life.
Can I do anything to make things unfold any faster? It seems that you are doing everything in your power at the moment. The key is to keep seizing the moments and doing the things that you are moved to do. For instance, with The Search for Center book last week. You hadn't planned on doing it so soon or so quickly. But, once you got into it, you were consumed by the task at hand and the desire to get it done. Knowing you, the Best Quotes work will be soon to follow. You know where to look to pull together the pieces. It is just a matter of sitting down and doing it. You can start thinking about how you want to live ... what experiences you would prefer to have in your life. What you decide, you will create ... you will do so because their are a host of forces waiting to do your bidding. You have reached a level of awareness where you know that this is true. You know that there is literally an army of unseen forces operating behind the scenes to make reality happen in the way that you say that you prefer it to be. Actually, more than say ... we need action in accord with what we say that we prefer. What else can I do? Start working on relationships. Yes, we know this is difficult for you. However, others will be a significant part of the rest of your life. The sooner that you find ways to relate to them the better for everyone. That doesn't mean wasting time doing things just to be social. Social interaction can also be on purpose. That doesn't mean it has to be work either. Spiritual endeavors can be highly entertaining and pleasurable.
This expression continues to be one of the highlights of my existence. There is still the sense that it is the one thing that will remain that shows that one such as I has walked the earth. The Beyond Imagination books are my children. If they do their jobs well, they will help the world to transition to a new age in which spirit can more fully manifest in flesh. At the very least, they provide the record of where one consciousness was able to venture. The books do have a timeless quality, except for dealing with the period of the transition to a new age. However, that could take many decades ... or even several centuries to complete. We stand at the dawn of a new age. But the vestiges of the prior age are still with us and will be for some transition period. The old will eventually whither and die ... and will be replaced by the new and all that it offers. How long it will take to happen ... who knows? I'm generally pretty bad when it comes to predicting the specific timing for things. When the time is right, it will happen. It is spirit herself that decides when the time is right. In the meantime, if we are observant we shall start to see changes happening in our world. In fact, if we are open, we will be moved to be a part of making the changes happen. Here, the guidance is simple ... do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. This is how we do our part. And, that is all that can be expected of us.
21 June 2003
Made it through the second third of the proofing process for Best of Notes - Book 1. I'm still on track to finish it tomorrow. Then it's a simple matter of incorporating the corrections and I'll have another work ready for publication. Then it's on to Best of Notes - Book 2. The goal is to have that completed by the end of next week. Yes, I am pushing myself hard. But, there is an urgency that demands that I get this done now. We've already delayed several years. Then time is right now. Not that I'm complaining. Being this motivated to get things done is a good thing ... especially when you see the results that you can deliver. I am pleased with what has been created in the past several months. I would not have believed it was possible even four months ago. But here I am with a book about to be formally published, two others in the publisher's hands, a fourth that should be through proofing within a day or two, and two more ready for proofing. That is simply amazing. OK, four of the works are composed of material expressed at Beyond Imagination prior to 1999. All I had to do was select it, format it, and proof it. But everything takes time. One of the works is material from 2002, and the final one is material from 2003. Yes, there has already been enough musings expressed in 2003 for a sizeable book.
All of this feels right. This is exactly what I am meant to be doing right now. This is how I am to take the Beyond Imagination expression to the world. After a decade, it is indeed time to do that. Further, it seems that I am the right person to make it happen. I was moved to generate an Editors/Publishers sought page that identified the kinds of books that I thought might be produced from the Beyond Imagination expression. I did this back in 1996 or so. I was seeking others with the skills to take my work and turn it into books. It seems that now I am being moved to generate many of the books that I described then. That is OK. I am ready to do this now. It would be nice to have help with the proofing. But, I'll do what I have to in order to get these works published so that they are available. These are my children ... they need to be given wings so that they can soar to their rightful place in the world where their ideas can have the impact that they are meant to have. Exactly what that is we can never know for certain. But, it only takes one idea planted in the right mind to make a significant difference. And, these works are rich with ideas that can make a difference.
Making a difference is what it is all about. The chief criteria by which our life will be judged is whether we left the world a better place for our having lived. The answer needs to be a resounding yes. But, it takes significant effort on our part to make this so. We have to want to make a difference, and we have to choose to do things that have the potential to make a positive difference. Sometimes we cannot know for certain what the outcome will be. But, that shouldn't keep us from trying. We need to make the effort anyway. Sometimes our intent is just as important if not more important than the outcome of our action. Outcomes in many cases are in spirit's hands. We can only do what we can do. Fortunately, that is a lot ... far more than most of us think. Hmm ... then again, there is the old saying about the road to something being paved with good intentions. This suggests that in the long run, intents alone are not enough. We have to act, observe the results of our actions, replan what we want to do next to achieve better results, and act again. We continue in this loop until the desired results or something better for the good of all concerned is achieved.
To make a difference in society, we must reach people somehow. I though setting up the Beyond Imagination website would be sufficient for that. It has allowed me to reach some, but nowhere near the numbers that I thought I might reach. Then again, I had no basis on which to generate any realistic expectations as to visitor counts. How am I to inform people that the Beyond Imagination books exist? I can put an announcement at the Beyond Imagination site. But, those who visit the site effectively have access to much of the material in the books. They still might want to support Beyond Imagination by purchasing books. And, they might prefer the book format of the material to the electronic format. Further, some of the planned books for 2004 will not be available on the Internet at all. Reaching others will be a challenge. The publisher has an electronic "bookstore" but it is not clear how many will find the Beyond Imagination books via that route. It seems that I need to do something to get the word out to potential readers of this type of material. Where do I go to find such people? I could do talks at metaphysical bookstores. I know the material. I've been living with it for over a decade. But, there aren't a lot of such bookstores. Also, to do book signings, I would have to have books available, which requires funds not presently budgeted. That is OK. Where there is a will, there is a way. I know that I have to do things to outreach to people far more than I ever have in the past. I also know that there is a Leo Rising part of me that not only can do this, but enjoys doing it. So, it is a matter of allowing my natural rising sign personality to take over for awhile. I've kept it under tight wraps for far too long.
There is a sense that everything is happening exactly as it needs to be happening. There is nothing that I need to worry about. There is nothing that I can do to make it go any faster or slower for that matter. The Play is proceeding in accord with the Plan that consciousness laid out for it long ago. The chief directive is: do as you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. This is how consciousness impacts the world. She moves us to action. It is through our actions that her ends are achieved. But we are more than pawns in the game of life. We are willing participants – cocreators all.
22 June 2003
Mission complete. Finished proofing Best of Notes - Book 1. One more goal accomplished. We should be able to make the corrections tomorrow and have another book ready to go. That makes four. But, we really want to package it with Best of Notes - Book 2. The two should have similar cover designs, in particular. It will take another week to proof the second book. That will mean we have five done by the 4th of July. Actually, that weekend would be a good time to proof The Search for Center. Right now, I have nothing else planned.
There is still a heightened sense of urgency. I need to generate quality works ... but I need to get them out as quickly as I can. At this point, it doesn't matter that they are perfect. That they are very good is good enough. The content of the works will allow the form to be overlooked a bit. Actually, the form is a bit different. I separate paragraphs by blank lines and I don't indent the first word. I've expressed in this manner since the writings began in 1993. I find the white space helpful. Also, often the context switches dramatically from one paragraph to the next. The blocks of text allow that to happen without bringing up too many questions. Actually, the context can change from sentence to sentence. My memory isn't sufficient to know what came before the present sentence. I have to trust that consciousness knows what she is expressing and how she is expressing it. I have ten years of expression that shows that this is indeed the case. Then again ... that's my assessment. Feel free to make your own. I am amazed at all that has been expressed here over the years. I am especially amazed by those things that have been expressed that appear to be beyond anything which I have any firsthand knowledge or awareness of from this existence. These are the things that blow me away. There are things that I simply know from the depths of my being. We are consciousness expressing in flesh is one of these things. It is not an intellectual knowledge that we are dealing with here, it is a knowingness that comes from the soul. That I have a spiritual mission to build the foundations for a new world is another thing that I know. This was not told to me. It came forth from within. And, I recognized it to be my spiritual mission and purpose. Being the midwife for the birth of the Aquarian Age is another job that I came to do. Yes, it seems I'm going to be very busy in the times ahead. Hmm ... actually, in the times NOW. I'm already very busy. But, I'm doing what I love to do. I just need to find ways to do even more of it. I'm sure that I will. There is a sense that my world is shifting dramatically. It is doing so primarily because of all of the action I am inputting toward moving it. What is unclear still is exactly where it will go. It seems that there we need to leave consciousness some latitude to create to most beneficial circumstances for all concerned.
It seems that there is only so much that I can do. But, each time I think that I have reached the limit of what that is, I surprise myself and find a way to do more. How long this will continue, I don't know. But, I'm not yet operating at anything close to peak efficiency ... so there is still substantial room for improvement. And, if this is true for me, with all that I am doing both at work and in my spiritual job ... to what degree is this true for others? It is important to do what we can to make each moment count, to make the most of our efforts in whatever endeavors we are employed. The operative word is elegance, doing the job at hand with the least resources and the maximum efficiency. How many of us consider it our duty to work elegantly? Yet, that is where it all starts ... with the individual worker. We have a responsibility to our employer and to our society to work elegantly to the degree that we can anyway. Where we see that something can be done better, it is our responsibility to speak out and try to change it. We won't always be heard, and we won't always succeed ... but it is important that we voice our concerns anyway. The universe hears our cries. Ultimately, that is what counts.
Today is going to be another short day for musing. I'm tiring rapidly so it is not clear that I can continue much longer. Yet, I don't want to stop. I am driven to allow the words to continue to flow as they will. The stream of consciousness deserves to be heard. This is where the unmanifest becomes manifest, the unseen becomes seen. What is consciousness? From where does this stream originate? What determines what comes forth when? What organizes what comes forth? There seems to be an overall organization to this expression. Clearly, it is not random. Yet, it is not organized into anything other than overall types of expressions Books, Notes, Newsletters, Musings, etc ... arranged chronologically. Am I to do the data mining that would reorganize some of the material along topic lines? This would be a major undertaking ... perhaps one that could carry me through the next decade of expression. I've already thought about creating an annotated Beyond Mind book that explains what I was experiencing then based on the perspective and understanding of things that I have now, a decade later. I could do something similar with books on particular topics, pulling the best passages from the Beyond Imagination material and supplementing it with my views from today. These wouldn't necessarily have to be large books. This would allow us to do several per year. Consciousness, reality creation, belief management, and the symbolic meaning of numbers might be a few to start with.
23 June 2003
Another fine day in which to express what consciousness would express through us. Looking at the date, it is somewhat balanced with 2--3 on each side of June. There are twelve days of that "23 month 2003" form this year. This is the first that I've been moved to notice. We're only one week from the middle of the year. It is hard to believe the year is moving by so rapidly. At the same time, it is equally hard to believe how much we have accomplished to date this year. I don't think that I've ever been so motivated to work as long and as hard as I have been for the past few months. Well have to see how long this continues. At the moment it still seems sustainable. But, at some point, there may be a limit that I need to face. One that comes to mind is the number of hours in a day. Here, we all get 24 hours minus whatever time we sleep per day. Nothing can alter this allocation. Though, it seems that the more we maintain our focus in the NOW, the more we are able to accomplish within this allocation. When we live in the present, it is as if time slows down somehow ... allowing us to accomplish more than we could otherwise accomplish.
What would I do next? With Best of Notes - Book 1 ready to go and Book 2 soon to follow, it seems that perhaps it is time to put together a Beyond Imagination Quotes work. It should be pretty easy to pull together from the many quotes pages that have been generated over the years. However, what would I do above and beyond this? What would I do beyond creating Beyond Imagination books? What is the next phase of the expression that is Beyond Imagination? What is the next phase of the expression that is the entity Wayne? 21341 = To 13:Death of 41:Wayne. That is my badge number at work. It seems that this is prophetic of a state that this particular job is to take me to. Further, it seems that I am there now, or very close to being there. What happens after this? I don't really know. There is a sense that my life is to be more public somehow. Promoting the Beyond Imagination books will take me out into the world in a way that I have not ventured before. Yet, the timing seems right. I have gone about as far as I can go on my own ... even with the winds of spirit under my wings. To go further, to do more, I need to find and cooperate with kindred spirits. My sense is that they are being moved to find me just as I am being moved to find them. Further, it is only a matter of time before we find one another. Our meeting is destined. It will happen. Of this, I am certain. The only question is when. I would have it happen yesterday. But, obviously that did not happen. With any timing, the only real answer is when the time is right ... and it is spirit that determines that not us. Then again, spirit works through us, so could not spirit be determining this through us as well? And, even more than determining, making it so? Hmm ... that is a different, but valid, way of looking at things.
Lately, our focus has been almost entirely on getting the Beyond Imagination works published as books. The musings have suffered a bit as a result, though we are still doing fairly well at bringing forth something nearly every day. The volume of material is less than it could be ... and is probably less on average in May-Jun than it was in Jan-Feb. Though I've definitely put many more hours into Beyond Imagination work in May-Jun than I did in Jan-Feb. That is OK. What needs to be expressed is being expressed; and what needs to be done is being done. We are compelled to do what we are doing. Nearly every minute of free time is pumped into this endeavor. Beyond Imagination has probably jumped from a half time job to a three quarter time job, if not more. Even at that, we have not come close to reaching the limits of what we are capable of achieving. I know that I could be far more efficient. And, there are things that I am doing that could be offloaded to others ... things that don't require my specific skills to accomplish. That is important. We need to find ways to offload tasks to others who are capable of doing them so that we can free ourselves to do things that only we can do. In so doing ... collectively, much more gets done and the world is a better place as a result. Elegance is important. We need to do things efficiently and effectively to the degree that we can. Wasted resources can never be recovered. To the degree that we can, we need to minimize such waste. That means doing what we can to use what each individual is capable of in an effective manner. How do we know what this is? Whose responsibility is it to ensure this happens? The bottom line is that it is a joint responsibility between the individual and society. However, who in society is responsible? That is the more difficult question. There is no organization, nor office, nor desk, nor person that is really responsible for this in society. It is a collective responsibility ... shared by all but allocated to no one. Perhaps that is part of the problem. Perhaps we need to find a way to make this more personal. It seems that we need explicit assignment of societal responsibility within the society. Who would have the authority to make such assignments? Who would have the authority to accept the societal responsibility within any given organization to begin with? Here we need to be clear about what services are expected from what government organizations. Actually, more than that, from what social organizations. Government is only a piece of the social infrastructure ... a big piece, yes, but still only a piece.
I have a choice of continuing in this manner, or working on an initial draft for Beyond Imagination Quotes. Given that I'm tired right now, and the later task is less taxing, I think I'll end here for the evening.
24 June 2003
The days continue to march on. Finished my first draft of Beyond Imagination Quotes except for 2003 quotes which I can add tonight. That will make it the longest work to date ... over 650 pages, most of them since the beginning of 2002. I need to consider whether to prune this down in size a bit. The added pages don't cost much to produce ... so, it is not clear that there is any real benefit in doing this. Many of the quotes appear in other works. About a third of them actually appear as quotes pages in other works. However, it felt right to capture them all in a single book for ease of reference. I didn't do anything to try to make the formats for the various "sections" of the document consistent with one another. It seemed OK to leave each one in essentially its original form. So, we are close to having another book ready for proofing. That makes #7. 2003 Musings - Vol II will make book 8. I'm waiting to see what other works I might be moved to create. I think I've exhausted what I can do relatively quickly. Everything else requires significant new commentary and substantial selection and organization of material. I can do this. I just haven't been moved to do it to date. We already have Beyond Mind ready to go. I've decided to publish it in two section, one with and one without commentary. Some people might enjoy reading it in its raw form. Others might find it fascinating to see what I have to say now about what I was experiencing then. Why not publish something that gives people both? It's small enough that this can be accommodated. Right now, the target is to have that ready early in 2004. That would make it book 9. 2003 Musings - Vol III would make book 10 assuming the musings continue from September through December.
Yes, I am keeping extremely busy with all of this. But it is a labor of love. And, there is something about seeing the children of one's mind come to fruition as published books. This is different than posting works to the internet. Perhaps it shouldn't be. But it is. This makes it more real somehow. I don't even have the first book officially published yet, and here we are talking about book 9 and 10 already. But, it really is as if these are already done somehow. Books 1-3 are in the publisher’s hands. Book 1 should be available for sale any day now. Books 4-7 are ready for proofing, the final step prior to sending them to the publisher. Since we are talking about self-publishing, there are no rejection notices. We can publish whatever spirit moves us to publish. I finished proofing book 4 yesterday. I'll proof book 5 this week. Proofing book 6 will be more of a challenge because of the nature of some of the material it includes. Book 8 is all Quotes, it should be relatively easy to proof since much of the material has already been proofed elsewhere.
So, if everything goes according to plans I'll have at least 10 books published by my 46th birthday. That is a laudable goal to set. It is one that is well within my abilities to achieve. Further, it seems to be well within my control to achieve. It is a matter of where I choose to expend my free time and my free funds. Right now, I can think of no better place than this. It is as if this is a test of some type. I need to get what I know, what I have done in the context of Beyond Imagination, in writing. If Redshift, my internet service provider were to go away, it would take me weeks to get my Beyond Imagination site up and running properly on another server. It seems important to back this up by having the material available in book form to anyone who cares to order it. This is not a matter of one or the other. It seems that each domain has its uses. The web site seems appropriate for introducing people to the Beyond Imagination works. But, it is tough to read large amounts of material on-line. For that, books have their utility. With these 10 books published, effectively I'll be current. Nearly everything at expressed at the Beyond Imagination site will be captured. Then it is simply a matter of keeping up with any new expressions and generating any special topics works that are a mixture of old and new. There could be any number of these depending on what I am moved to express.
This is an exciting time. The possibilities seem endless. I am expressing at a pace and in ways that I have not achieved before. How long this will last or where it is all headed is a mystery. I only know that I like where it is taking me. I enjoy the enhanced creativity and productivity. I enjoy manifesting particular products ... in the form of published books. It is fun being an author. I have been a writer for some time. But seeing one's name on the cover of a book is a very different feeling. It really brings home the fact that one is an author. Will I be able to make my living in this manner someday? My sense is yes. The books will find as audience, and perhaps a sizeable one. No, I don't expect to sell millions of books as the latest Harry Potter book did in its first few days. Then again maybe the collection of Beyond Imagination books will eventually get to those kinds of numbers. Wishful thinking ... perhaps, but perhaps not. Is there anything I can do to make someday into someday soon? I truly desire to be able to do this as a fulltime endeavor. Is my desire enough to make it so? It seems that it should be if it is strong enough. Though here, I trust that the universe know what is in my best interest as well as what is for the good of the world. I would live a life of service. I would do what is necessary for spirit to do her works in the world.
Decide. Then speak and act as if it is already done. And, surely it will be done. It is that easy. Am I so certain on this matter that I can make this commitment? If not now, when? Clearly, now is the time to reclaim my power and do as I am moved to do and be as I am moved to be. We are all powerful creators ... far more powerful than we might suspect. Our most intimate creation is our body and the reality that it experiences. We are responsible for every aspect of that experience ... no fine print, no exceptions. We always have been and we always will be. If we don't like what we experience, then it is up to us to find a way to change it. The place to start is generally to look within. In particular, to examine our belief system and why it attracted that experience to us to begin with. Change the beliefs and we change the experience. Beliefs are that powerful. And, it often doesn't take major changes in beliefs to create major changes in experience. Small changes typically suffice. Core beliefs need to be managed most carefully. These are the major beliefs around which all of our other beliefs are organized. When we change a core belief, it ripples throughout our entire belief infrastructure. That is OK. This is necessary at times. We need a good beliefquake every now and then to get our beliefs in order. These can be difficult times for many ... but they can also be exciting times if we approach them with the right attitude and are open to the lessons and the opportunities that they have to offer us.
How do I turn myself inside out and start acting in a more extroverted manner? I sense that this is a necessary step somehow. Remaining shy and quiet is not going to get me noticed in a manner that I need to be noticed. Why should this matter? If I am expressing the best that I can be, is that not enough? The problem is the best that you can be is evolving over time ... it is not stagnant. As it evolves, you must evolve to reflect whom that you have become. Being outgoing takes a conscious effort on my part. It is not something that comes natural to me. Is it something I could learn to do well. The sense is yes ... there is a Leo Rising nature that is my persona, my mask to the world, that is comfortable with this. Though, it doesn't seem that I've been wearing this mask very much to date in my life. I don't know why. That is just the way that it has been for me. I observe what I experience. Often, I can understand it without really being able to explain it. Not to worry. Many things in life are unexplained. In fact, many of those may even be unexplainable. That doesn't stop us from experiencing them and in some cases even using them in our lives. This very expression is that way. I don't know that I'll ever be able to explain how it really comes forth. Yet, that doesn't stop me from expressing, from sharing the expression, and from using the expression in my own life.
Got a call today from Infinity Publishing. It seems that Best Passages from 2002 Musings is ready to go. All they need is a signed proof approval form. They are sending me my copies so that I can make sure everything is OK before I sign the form. Hopefully, I'll be able to get that in the mail on Friday or maybe even fax it to them. The corrections were all minor, so I'm pretty sure they got them right. So ... we are literally within a week or so of being a published author. We'll be there before the end of June. One down, six or seven to go. We seem a long way from our goal when you state it like that. Six months is not very long. But, everything is in progress at varying states of readiness. And, each day we move one or more products further along the path. Everything is occurring in parallel. That is how we can get so much done so fast. Actually, the only linear part is my time. I can only work on one book at a time. However, I work very fast especially since much of the work is selecting from what has already be expressed. Actually, on several occasions, I have surprised myself with how quickly I put together the first draft for a new book. The easy pickin's are over, however. Further works will require the generation of new material. That process is much slower, about one half hour per page for book material. For Beyond Mind, I estimate that I'll need to generate at least 100 pages of material. That's around 50 hours of effort. At 2 hours per day, that would be about a month of work? Can I get motivated and produce it faster? Perhaps. But, that cuts into the time available for musing. Choices ... it seems that more and more I am having to decide where I am going to apply my time and effort. Where can I do things that have the most impact? ... that make the most difference?
Lately, I've surprised myself by how motivated I have been to do things. There has been no similar time in the past ten years to the past few months in terms of sustained productivity and overall hours applied to Beyond Imagination endeavors. Can that continue indefinitely? The sense is that it has to. I don't really have a choice in the matter. There is that much to do. And, I seem to be the only one who sees that it needs to be done. Though, the hope is that those who are moved by the Beyond Imagination works will see this as well and will be moved to help. I am not yet operating at peak productivity ... and I clearly do not yet have a support group around me. Hopefully this will come soon. But, I am prepared to continue to go it alone as long as consciousness deems necessary. It is just that it I know that I could be doing more. How much more remains to be seen. One thing that would help would be if I could be doing this on a full time rather than part time basis as my job. That would make all the difference in the world. That would give me reason to arise early each morning and work late into the night. Would I burn myself out? Perhaps ... but my sense is that there are inner governors that prevent this from happening. I would definitely be far more excited about what I was doing each day. Why can I not choose to live in this manner now ... even if it is only with my free time? The bottom line is that I can, there is nothing stopping me but me. In fact, more and more, I seem to be doing precisely this. Though, there is still a strong wish to be able to do what I love to do on a full time basis. Right now, what I love to do is to engage in this expression of consciousness and to do the works of Beyond Imagination. This is far more than a full time job not just for one but for many. How do we make that manifest? How do we turn the dream of Beyond Imagination into a flesh and blood organization of more than one person? The books are a start. They introduce people to a world of ideas. This world may be foreign at first, but it will grow on them ... enough that they will decide that they would like to co-create such a world. And then, the magic happens. Before long the foundations for a new world will have been created and people will be pleased by the results. The creativity of people will be unleashed in a manner that it has never been before ... and people will love their newfound freedom. Wars will cease, and peace will pervade the planet. People will realize that violence is not an acceptable means for accomplishing any ends. No, this will not happen overnight ... then again, why not overnight? What keeps us from realizing spiritual truths in the moment? When the mass consciousness finally awakens, it will literally be as the difference between night and day. The collective consciousness will go from being asleep to being awake. It may have to rub its eyes a bit to get used to the light. But, once in the light, there is no returning to darkness.
25 June 2003
Another day. Another blank slate on which to express. At this point, we still have no clue as to what will come forth. Each day is a mystery. The creative process simply happens. I am able to guide it at times, but overall it seems to have a mind of its own. I started filling in the annotations for Beyond Mind. It was interesting to discover that the term beyond imagination came up in the very first day of the expression. I didn't really expect that. However, that is one of the benefits of keeping a written record over the years. It allows you to make such discoveries and remember such things. How many more such things have I forgotten over the years? Does it even matter? It seems that I am being fed what I need to know when I need to know it. There is a part of consciousness herself that is feeding me in this manner. It is difficult having to decide what Beyond Imagination endeavor to support at any time. I currently have musings, annotations for Beyond Mind, and proofing for Best of Notes - Book 2. Plus, there are two other works on the shelf awaiting proofing. How do I prioritize my time? What is most important to get done in what order? At this point, musings still are #1, proofing is #2, and annotations is #3 since that work is not scheduled for completion until 2004. That doesn't mean that I can't do it earlier. And, the sense is that I will indeed be moved to do so now that I have started it. It seems that lately, once I begin things, I am compelled to finish them almost to the point of obsession. However, the musings are a daily thing ... they are not something that can be rushed or completed ahead of schedule. It will be interesting to see how long they continue. It was one thing when I had nothing better to do with my time and with this expression. However, it seems that I am beyond that. I have reached a point where the focused application of my time and effort may be more valuable than the continued musings. Then again, there is something to be said about unstructured spontaneous expression. So long as there is value in the musings, they will continue. How long that will be I do not know at this point. Though, it will be long enough to generate 2003 Musings - Vol II and perhaps even 2003 Musings - Vol III. That seems a logical breakpoint. That would be the two year point for daily musings. That means doing this for another six months. One can do anything for six months. Then, it is time to regroup and decide what it is I want to express next. 2004 will be different than 2002 and 2003 have been ... dramatically different. There is a sense that I need to decide in the next six months exactly what it is that I want to manifest in my life in 2004. It is up to me to choose what this will be. I've never really had to choose before. I've just allowed it to happen. But, it seems that will not work anymore. I am a conscious creator now.
In less than a week, we are within six months of the end of the year already. Halfway through. It is amazing how much we have to show for it. We have been very productive this year ... more productive than in any other six month period of our life to date. I say to date, because it seems that the productivity continues to accelerate. At this point, it is not clear where the bound lies ... if indeed there is one. I don't know how much I can do how quickly. I haven't found my limits yet. Thus far, I don't think that I am even close to them. Though, to progress much further I need a more supportive environment. There is only so much that I can do on my own ... it is a lot, but it is still limited. Further, even increasing my Beyond Imagination commitment to 30 hours per week, there is still only so much that I can accomplish. If this could be full time ... 60-70 hours per week, only consciousness knows what could be accomplished. Yes, I have a different concept of full time than others. I'm putting in 40 hours per week at a job plus 20-30 hours per week on Beyond Imagination. That is 60-70 hours per week. If Beyond Imagination were to be my full time employment, I would expect to give it this same level of effort, if not more. This would basically be my life. There would be no separation between my work and my pleasure / joy. That is what comes from creative expression for me. And, this is as creative as it gets. So, how do I make this so? How do I turn my obsession into my occupation? How do I get this expression to pay me enough to live comfortably and abundantly? Is that too much to ask? There is a reason that I am moved to do all of this. There is a reason that I am moved to think in this manner? Be patient. Circumstances are being worked out even as you speak. It takes time to manifest things in the physical. You needed to take the steps that you have taken in the past few months to give the universe some material to work with. Wishful thinking does not make things so. But, now you have children in the form of physical books ... 1 born, 2 coming, 4+ planned for us to work with. That is the kind of action that was needed to allow your destiny to manifest. Could you have done this sooner? Perhaps. However, we do things when the time is right to do them.
There is definitely a sense that I am on a path of destiny now. Oh, I have always been. But, now it seems much more immediate somehow. There is no doubt that I am doing the things that I need to be doing. With each work that I complete there is a feeling of accomplishment ... there is a sense that I have done something that will ultimately matter, that will ultimately make a difference. And, the sense is that this will not be to a few, but to many. Why must what I do have such a great impact? Why do I think in such grandiose terms? Simply because I know what I am capable of, and it would be a loss for me not to have such an impact. Oh well, we shall see soon enough. The works are being unleashed as we speak. The first one is out of the bag this very week in fact. It took less than six months from the time the musings finished in 2002 for Best Passages from 2002 Musings to be created and published. That's not bad. We're hoping to beat this by two months with 2003 Musings - Vol I. So far, everything is going according to plans. That published material can be so current surprised me. I would not have thought it possible to produce books this fast until a few month ago. Such is one of the benefits of technology. Going from word processor to published book is much simpler than it has ever been before.
Celine Dion sings A New Day Has Come as I write this. Indeed, she states a great truth. That is why my energy and my output have been so different in the past year and a half. I am living the promise of this new day. And, if my output is any indication of what each of us is capable of then collectively we can unleash an energy that will take the world by storm and transform it into whatever we desire it to be. Are others feeling this surge of energy, this surge of productivity? Are they being moved to channel it into avenues that provide enhanced service? Often, it seems that I am alone in what I experience. Part of this comes from having so little involvement with others. However, can I really be that different? The bottom line is yes, I can. Though, I do tend to overemphasize the differences and overlook the similarities. It would help if I chose not to do that as much.
How long do I have to continue playing the role of the hermit? Does this serve me or limit me? Does this serve those who I am meant to serve? My sense is that it has served me well for a long time ... perhaps extending into multiple lifetimes. Further, there is a sense that it will always be home in a way to me. It will be a state of being where I am safe and secure. However, I need to take my message and my mission to the world ... and I can't do that if I remain isolated from others. So, this is an area of my life that must change for me to do what I came to do. Because of that, I know that it will indeed change. For, nothing can stop me from accomplishing my mission ... nothing. Yes, I feel that strongly about it. To me, life has a purpose. It is more than just to exist and be happy. I came to do something. In my case, that involves serving as the midwife for the Aquarian Age and building the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. These are big tasks, bigger than any one person can do alone. Yet, in ten years, I have not really established any close ties with others who are here to do this with me. I'm sure such others are out there. And, I'm sure we are meant to cooperate and work together on this. But, how do we organize? Who is in charge of seeing that we come together and establish an effective and efficient organization? Yes, I see the need for this to be done. But, despite what Bucky said, that doesn't necessarily mean that it is my task to do. Surely there are others with the appropriate organizational skills that would be better suited.
There is a sense that major change is on the immediate horizon. I can feel it. There is a shiver throughout the upper part of my body. The sense is that the social fabric, the social infrastructure is undergoing a fundamental change. You might ask how? It does not seem to be apparent from what is going on in the world. But, there seems to be something going on behind the scenes ... something in the collective unconscious and perhaps in the superconscious. At some point this will be completed and its results will be unleashed upon the world ... and they will transform the world as we know it. To what, you might ask? To something far more grand and glorious! To something that allows the magnificence of spirit to shine forth far more brightly than ever. That is what the Aquarian Age is all about. That is where we are headed.
Do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. That is the directive from spirit. That is the chief guidance to live by in the times ahead. Remember, it is spirit that does the moving. Don't move, don't act until you know what the right action is. You will know. There is nothing that is hidden. This doesn't give us license to procrastinate and do nothing forever. We need to listen to what spirit is telling us and do as she commands. She will not steer us wrong. At least, such is my experience to date. Spirit can be trusted to guide us on the path that is right for us. She moves us to do what needs to be done, not only for our own good but for the overall good. Also, her timing is always the correct timing. She knows exactly when things need to be done.
26 June 2003
Another four days and June is history. The year is flying by once again. Yet, there is so much that I am accomplishing. So much, that it is literally unbelievable. I am still strongly moved to get the Beyond Imagination material packaged into books and published. This is important somehow. It is something that needs to be done now. I've found the means to do it, and the motivation is there ... so indeed it will be done. The only constraint right now is money. It doesn't take a lot, but it takes more than I have readily available at the moment. Though, even here, it seems that the universe is coming through with what is needed. Worst case ... it will take a few extra months to finish publishing the books that are ready. I don't particularly like the delay but I don't see a way around it. That's OK. There is plenty that I can do in the meantime. There are other works yet to be done ... works that require creative input on my part.
What else am I moved to do? My world is still very solitary and isolated. Is that how I prefer it? At this point, the answer seems yes. Though, it seems that is changing. It is time to open myself up to others. I do some of that in this expression. But, it is not clear to whom I am opening up ... and the process is not mutual. Here, I literally bare my soul to the degree that I can as an example of the level of sharing that I would like to experience in society. It takes a lot of time to share at this level. Literally, it takes approximately 1 hour per 8.5 x 11 page or 1 hour per two book pages. Yes, that is a lot of time. Is it worth the effort? There is no question that it is worth the effort to me. I can't imagine anything better to be doing with my time. This expression is that important. It doesn't matter that this expression is unlike anything else that I have ever read. It is what it is, and that is sufficient. We will see soon enough whether others value it enough to buy it as well. The books are to be a source of funds for the endeavor that is Beyond Imagination. At this point, the more books, the better endowed Beyond Imagination becomes. We're still talking in terms of 7-8 books by the end of 2003 and at least a dozen by the end of 2004. Yes, that is a lot. But, there is a lot of material already expressed that we can use as a basis or starting point for a number of new works.
Where do I go to announce this new phase in expression to the world? How do I find those who are meant to buy and read the Beyond Imagination books? How do I find those who are meant to co-create the foundations for a new world with me? I know they are out there. Further, I know they are ready to make contact, just as I am. We are destined to find one another. My hope is that this will happen soon ... very soon. How long can I continue to go on as I have? It seems that is indefinite as well. The bottom line, is that I will continue to do what I have been doing so long as I need to continue to do it. Some might consider it a hardship. But, doing the work of spirit is never a hardship. It may be difficult and challenging at times, but that is what keeps it interesting.
How do I go about establishing relationships? Here, it takes two or more cooperating together to create something that is mutually beneficial. Do I know how to do that? My primary relationships have been with myself and with spirit/ consciousness herself. Is there something that I have learned from this that I can apply in my relationships with others? After all, these are some of the most difficult of relationships to develop. Of course, I would pick the hardest ones first. But then, this was natural for a big time introvert. And, that is something that I still am to this very day. Though, at least there is the beginning of a desire to change that. And that is how it starts, with the desire to change. We may not know the details. We may not know how the change will manifest. We only know that it will be so because we command it to be so with the very force of our being. We are powerful creators, each and every one of us. What we command to be so ... will become so, provided that we do it congruently. That is important. We need to be consistent in what we believe and what we ask for.
There is so much vying for my attention that it is a struggle staying focused on what I am doing here and now. I have Beyond Mind calling for me to provide fresh commentary on what I was going through during the first six months that this expression came forth. In addition, there are three works ready to proof. Then, there is a whole new desire to get out and meet people and make Beyond Imagination and myself known. However, I don't really know how to do this. It is not just anyone that I am looking to meet. How do I find the kinds of people who are likely to be moved by what Beyond Imagination has to offer? I can announce things at my website. And, I can venture out to chat once again. I don't even know if Spirit Web Chat still exists after all these years. It has been awhile since I was last there. How else can I announce that the Beyond Imagination books have been and are being published? Metaphysical bookstores are good candidates. Perhaps I could leave a sample copy of the book along with some bookmarks, postcards, and business cards. I don't know how many metaphysical bookstores are in the greater LA area, but there must be a good number of them. I can start with the one in Palm Springs and see what they say.
It seems that the people that need to be reached will indeed be reached, one way or another. Don't overlook the power of word of mouth. When something is good, the word will get out ... perhaps not right away, but eventually. Further, you may have to be flexible regarding the media. To date, you have relied on the Beyond Imagination website. Extending that to the more traditional published form is a major switch, even if the books are only advertised for sale over the internet. The change in form will allow a whole new level of readership, one that may not even be computer literate. This is good. This is as it is meant to be. Trust where spirit is taking you. Each step is a step forward toward a destiny that is right for you at this time. We would not lead you astray. Do as you are moved to do. Trust that we are moving you to do exactly what you need to do in each moment. Further, we continue to do this in every moment. You are living a life driven by spirit now. Know that. Allow yourself to live that. Leave no room for doubt ... for where spirit guides us, our grandest destiny lies. Life is a grand adventure of consciousness. You have known that for some time now. Live your truth. Express what you know. Be your grandest vision of whom that you can be. Dream big. Now is not a time to let limitation hold you back. The conditions are right for you to do great things. It is but a matter of you stepping up to the plate and doing them. This is not something we can force you to do. It must be done willingly or not at all. At this point, it is clear that you are highly inclined to do what needs to be done. We applaud you for that. Many do not reach such a point in their life, ever. But, then you have never really been one of the many now have you? You wanted to do it your way. And, this was allowed because of who you were. Not everyone has this choice and this power. I have always felt different somehow ... in many cases, superior. But, it was not from any sense of "being better than" ... rather it was from a sense of "knowing more than". And, this knowing was innate. It was not something that I had to learn or develop, it was just something that was part of whom that I was. At the same time, I isolated myself from most people so my interaction with them was limited at best, and my observations of them were shallow. There is nothing I can do about that now. That is how I grew up. It set up patterns that were also used in my interactions or avoidance of interactions with others as an adult. In fact, some of these patterns still operate today. I don't go out of my way to avoid people ... but I am far less communicative than I might be. That has started to change. And, people are even starting to notice. Perhaps that is a sign of things to come. Perhaps my hermit days are numbered after all. It does indeed seem to be time to reach out to the world ... at least to some small subset that I am meant to touch. Then again, perhaps it will not be so small. Perhaps what I have to say needs to be heard.
In many respects, I am a simple being. I can be content with a lunch or dinner selected from the $1 or menu of the fast food restaurant. My needs are very limited overall and I am in control of most of my desires. Though, my body could stand to be a lot lighter. I have re-gained nearly 50 pounds in the past year. On again, off again, on again. What is it with the body and its weight? Why do I allow it to go to such extremes. It is definitely not healthy. I do not feel that I am in good shape at the moment, yet that doesn't seem to be impacting the productivity of Beyond Imagination at all. I have never been this productive for this duration, not even close. So, what is that telling me? It seems to be saying that the body doesn't really matter than much. Yet, the body is an expression of spirit just as the rest. Perhaps I should look at it from another perspective. If I can be this productive with my body in its present condition, just imagine what I could do if I got it back into good shape. I'm not looking for peak condition ... that would require a level of commitment to training, eating, and exercise that I am simply unwilling to make. Good enough is good enough. I've never really been an athlete. But, I've held my own overall. Getting the weight back under control and resuming the exercise regimen is probably the best I can expect at the moment. That takes away from my writing time ... but perhaps I can eventually make it up by requiring less sleep per night. I don't do a lot of things. I work, I write, I commute, I read, I watch an occasional movie, I do chores, I watch a few TV shows, I play with my dogs. You'll notice there are no socialization activities thrown in. I don't drink, party, go to church, or go to meetings of any type for that matter. I don't visit. I don't spend much time on the phone, just occasional calls to my parents. I spend the vast majority of my time alone. Though, if you're reading this, you are seeing the results of a significant fraction of that. The musing today is already between two and three hours. That is a sizeable fraction of my free time. Actually, it is a respectable fraction of my day. Why would I choose to give this much of my life to this expression? Is it worth it? To me, it definitely is worth it ... otherwise, I would not be doing it.
Another week and we are coming up on the 227th birthday of the United States. That marks the beginning of the 228th year. Interesting. That makes for the third highly special year in a row for me. It seems that one thing comes right after another. It is curious that the contexts for importance have all been different. In 2002, it was the 2 x 7 x 11 x 13 factorization. In 2003, it is all of the outer planet aspect activity going on in my astrology chart. In 2004 it is the 228 year. These are about as different as you can get. Yet ... I am in the center of it all. And, my world is changing at a highly accelerated pace, even more than the outer world is changing. 2007 and 2012 are other key years on the horizon. I learned that my birthday was on Easter in those two years back in my first year of high school, in 1972. One of the first programs that I ever wrote was to determine the dates for Easter from 1750-2150. In that entire 400 year period, my birthday only falls on Easter in 2007 and 2012. At the time I discovered it, that seemed to be an eternity away. Now, however, they are within 4 and 9 years. I'm sure that 2005 and 2006 have much in store as well. They just aren't close enough for me to need to know yet. All in due time. I have enough to do to deal with the moment and what is to be done in 2003. My latest plans call for eight Beyond Imagination books in 2003. We still have a lot to do to achieve that. But, everything is on track. The only real uncertainty is the continuity of the musings over the next two months. Everything else is under control and either in the publishers hands or in a draft state ready to be proofed. I have complete control over the proofing process. It is a matter of how much quality time that I can put in each day to get it done.
There is something about 228 that speaks to me. Yes, that is the ALL CAPS number for my whole name. It is the beginning of the 228th year that is significant not the celebration of it at the end. Hmm ... that would provide another reason why it has been so important that I do the things that I've been doing over the past several months. It is as if the time marks the start of a new beginning. Best Passages from 2002 Musings is coming out just in time. Why does that not surprise me?
27 June 2003
One day closer to wrapping up the month. The proofing of Best of Notes - Book 2 is proceeding as planned. I should be able to complete it this weekend. That would make two books ready to go awaiting funds. I sent off the forms requested by the company regarding my claim. It looks like it may indeed be legitimate. However, they said it could take up to three months for the account to be processed. Oh well. What will be will be. In another few weeks, we'll have enough to publish the two Best of Notes books anyway. So, the claim money can go against The Search for Center, Quotes, and 2003 Musings - Vol II. Anyway, it is a welcome gift from the heavens. That would take us to eight books for the year. Not bad. Though, it is not something we are likely to match since we had the benefit of pulling from a lot of Beyond Imagination material that already existed for many of these books. That is OK. It was still quite a feat. Interesting, I speak as if it is already done. And, in my mind, for all practical purposes, it is. I'm doing the serious proofing prior to submitting the works to the publisher, so the final proof should go quickly. And at this point, 3 of the books are at the publisher, another 1 is proofed, another 1 is in proofing, another 2 await proofing, and the final 1 has about half of the raw text written. Indeed, in my vision, it is as if these are already done. In fact, I am already starting to move on to other things. Proofing is not my idea of fun. At some point I'll find a way to leave that to others who are more suited by temperament to be doing it. I would much rather spend the time here generating new material. I don't even care what that material is. I trust that consciousness knows what needs to be said and will bring it forth when it needs to be said.
Where do I see myself a year from now? I don't typically look that far ahead. However, I would hope that the Beyond Imagination books will have established a following by then. Are they good enough to do so? I believe that they are. But, it is not clear that what I believe matters in this instance. The books capture much of the information at the Beyond Imagination sit