BEYOND IMAGINATION

2003 Musings - Vol I

Wayne Hartman

INTRODUCTION

Namaste! Welcome to my world! On these pages you will find a stream of consciousness expression … one that I have actively been participating in for just over a decade. The snapshot here comes from the period from January through April of 2003. As you’ll see, it was quite a productive period of time for this expression. The musings occurred nearly daily … 111 times in 120 days in fact. The expression comes to roughly 457 pages and just over 177,000 words. Yes, that is a lot for one-third of a year. But, what can I say? That is what I was moved to express, and what I am moved to share.

My hope is that you find this mind-expanding or better yet consciousness-expanding. It should cause you to stretch outside of the normal confines of your consciousness into a wonderful new domain. If it does, I have done my job well. There is a reason that spirit expresses through me in the manner that she does. This is to be an example of what is possible for you to experience as well. By following this record of my stream of consciousness, you get to taste a sample of what is possible. What I can do, you can do also. No, not necessarily in the same manner. Written expression may not be your forte. But, there is some manner of creative expression that is right for you. This is something you will have to find for yourself. Some of this material may provide you with some insight as to where to look. By all means use whatever parts of it you find applicable and useful to your life. Only you will know what these are. Not everything is for everyone. But there is enough variety in this expression that there is probably something for everyone.

These are the Musings of a Spiritual Warrior. I don’t know how to prepare you for what they convey other than to have you experience them directly. They come from a source inside of me. Even after a decade, I still don’t know if this source is a part of me or not. It is simply there. The words just appear in my mind. I don’t plan any of this communication, I simply allow it to manifest through me.

The expression is ordered by day, as it was expressed. The only editing was some spell checking and minor grammar correction. It seemed that the date ordering of the material was appropriate somehow … at least for this product.

There are two major sections in what follows. The first major section has the day by day musings as they came forth from January through April of 2003. It covers the first 460 or so pages. The second section is a selection of best quotes from this expression. These are literally what I consider to be the gems of what came forth from consciousness during this time. 883 passages were selected for this section, with the date ordering remaining intact.

I hope that you enjoy what you find here. More than that, I hope that it helps you to awaken to see parts of yourself that you never knew you never knew. One challenge from all of this is for you to expand your reality framework to account for the fact that an expression such as this could come forth through me in the manner that it did in such a short period of time at the beginning of 2003. It is possible. It did happen. That, in itself, says a lot about the creativity of consciousness as she expresses through us. Yet, what I can do, you can do also. I came as a wayshower. Part of showing the way for me is sharing the fruits of what my consciousness is able to produce. That is what I do at my Beyond Imagination website:

http://www.redshift.com/~beyond/mainpage.htm

And, that is what I do here in the pages that follow. I hope that they bring to you some fraction of the joy and wonder they have brought into my life.

This work is titled as it is in anticipation that there will be at least one if not two sequels to follow in the days ahead this year. Then again, that depends on how spirit continues to express in my life in the months ahead. At this time, there is every indication that we are in for a very prolific year. But, all that we can do is wait and see … and continue to express as we are moved to express.

Enjoy! Be Happy and Create Well!

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!

LOVE,

Wayne

Feel free to contact me if you relate strongly to this material or you have feedback to provide. I’m looking for kindred spirits to help co-create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.

Wayne Hartman

1800 Harper Av, Redondo Beach, CA 90278

beyond@redshift.com

JANUARY

1 January 2003

Many can experience ideas and even ideals in their head. We need to go beyond that and find a way to experience them in our world. We can do that now. This year brings the opportunity to do that. It is a matter of choosing what we want to make so. We have entered a period where we can literally manifest whatever we want.

Consciousness can only express through us. More than that, we are consciousness in expression each and every moment of our lives. Everything is consciousness in expression ... and consciousness experiencing what is being expressed. We are all points of view of the same one consciousness. Though, it seems that most of us were never taught that we are connected in this manner. Were we aware of our true nature, the atrocities that are committed by us against us would cease in a heartbeat. It is only because we believe that we are separate that such acts can be committed.

We are responsible for our own spirituality or lack thereof. We cannot plead ignorant for ignoring the small still voice within us ... for not developing our own intuition as our inner connection to source. We are completely responsible for the reality we experience both individually and en masse. As the years roll on, we will be forced to realize this more and more as we are confronted by our own creations. We will see the role that we play and we will decide to change our ways and create a far more peaceful, kinder and gentler world. It is completely within our power to do this. It is simply a matter of deciding that this is indeed what we want to do ... and then making choices consistent with this decision.

It doesn't take the whole world to change the whole world. All that is necessary is a critical mass, a subset that is sufficient to plant the seeds and generate the foundation. Look at the United States as an example. How many people did it take in the 1770-1780's to create the foundations for a new country ... one that was to be a New Order for the Ages? The bottom line is that it took very few.

The issue of visionaries is interesting. Where do we find them? Perhaps the place to start is with ourselves. Each of us is a visionary. Each of us has some idea about what we want to contribute to the world and what we want back in return. Each of us can evaluate what is working in our lives and what is not working. Each of us can evaluate our beliefs to see why we engage in the things that are not working. Each of us can choose to question and even replace those beliefs and try something new, something more empowering. Then, we can evaluate the changes to determine how well the new beliefs are working. There is nothing hard about the process, except for overcoming the inertia ... and perhaps the fear that we might make things worse.

That is why the inner connection to source is so important. That is where we distinguish what is right and true for us. Yes, for us. Right and truth are relative terms in this existence. It is important that we remember that our way is a way and not the only way. That doesn't mean that we can't share our way and our truth with others. It just means we can't force it on them. We have to leave it to them to accept and use what they will in whatever way is right for them.

It is through sharing that we build the relationships needed for cooperative efforts. And, it is cooperative efforts that are the wave of the future. Through such efforts, spirit will be able to express in ways never before possible. Through cooperation, we are building the organs, the organizations, that constitute the body for spiritual expression on the planet. As loosely connected individuals, only so much is possible. And, this is precisely what we are when we operate as independent beings in independent countries.

I desire to participate in a far grander way in the creation of something that has yet to see the light of day ... the creation of a collective body for the greater expression of spirit in flesh. As individuals, we will all have our unique parts to play ... roles that allow us to be all that we can be. No social system to date has facilitated such expression. In fact, none have even come close. So, what makes me believe that now will be any different? Because I can imagine it, because I can dream it ... and because I can take action in my own little part of the world to make it so for me, and hopefully by example for those whom I touch.

There are no prior examples of what we speak of here. The collective body for spirit that is evolving has never reached this level of consciousness before. When it is finally born, the worldview of everyone will be different. People will go from being asleep to being awake, from being victims to being creators, from being subject to fate to manifesting their own destiny. These changes and more we will see in a relatively short period of time. We need to quickly establish the infrastructures that will support people in their newfound awareness. This includes educational, political, economic, and spiritual infrastructures. Further, these need to accommodate the whole world, not just the developed nations. This will require some serious thought. The rules that applied when the developed nations did their developing are not the same as the rules that apply today. For one thing populations are much larger and resources are much more limited. Further, the availability of weapons and the resolve to use them allow relatively small groups to hold power in many countries. All of this makes it far more difficult to achieve developed nation status in this day and age.

2 January 2003

We see what we need to see, when we need to see it. We experience what we need to experience, when we need to experience it. Everything happens in accordance with a master plan for the expression of consciousness in flesh. We are intimate parts of that plan ... every one of us. It is important to develop our intuition, since this is the connection to the source that knows the part we are here to play.

The popular songs, movies, and shows of the day reveal consciousness in action. If we look in the right places, spiritual themes are indeed being broadcast ... loud and clear. However, how many are being moved by these broadcasts to the point where they are questioning and even changing what they believe? Ultimately, that is what counts. If we aren't changing the spiritual beliefs, we aren't tackling our problems at their core. It is that simple. Everything starts with what we believe. What we experience will be in accord with what we believe.

We create our own reality, no fine print, no exceptions. Seth said something to the effect. It is a very powerful truth. If it doesn't ring true for you yet, then I suggest that you consider it, and strongly consider believing it. Then see what difference it makes in your life. If you like the differences, you will know firsthand that you are on to something. Utility is the ultimate test for all beliefs. Do we like the results and the experience that they bring into our lives? This is something only we can decide. Beliefs are powerful ... some of the most powerful things that we have in our arsenal. They are the thought forms, the structures through which we create all that we experience. And, what we experience is reality for us.

Note that I didn't say what happens is reality ... I said what we experience is reality. There is a big difference. We experience when we apply meaning to what happens. Until we apply meaning, events don't really touch us. We are ever in the process of applying meaning to the events in our lives. Much of this we do automatically, based on long held beliefs. However, some of it we do consciously ... although it seems that much of this is automatic as well. It is useful to break out of our patterns on occasion and assign new meanings to things. It is useful to stretch out of our molds and see things from new and different vantage points. As a soul, as a point of view ... it is useful to be flexible in how we view the world that we know.

These words are not the foundations for a new world. Yet, I have been saying for nearly a decade that I am here to build the foundations for a new world. It seems that it is time to get started on the foundations. I don't know how to do this yet. But, what I have been doing for the past 10 years didn't work. Oh, it resulted in a lot of expression ... capturing a stream of consciousness in great detail over a significant period of time. And, it resulted in a lot of shifts in awareness and awakening experiences for me. However, I do not know how it impacted others. It seems that if I am going to continue expressing, then I should know who benefits from the expression and how. Otherwise, this is all an elaborate exercise done solely for me.

It seems to me that this expression has value far beyond that as an example of what spirit can do through us when we open up enough to allow it. We are all instruments of spirit. We are all spirit expressing in flesh. It helps if we help to facilitate the process rather than fight it. It is amazing what we can do when we willingly cooperate and go with the flow.

One person can only do so much. However, with spirit working through us, that can be far more than we have ever imagined. I look at what I have done here, and I wonder what we could do collectively if each person donated a tithe = 4 hours per week to serve spirit in some manner. That would unleash over 10 million person equivalents of effort each year for the betterment of society. Can you imagine what that much effort could accomplish if it were organized and applied effectively?

3 January 2003

I know so little about others, that I have no basis to compare how I experience things to how they experience them. I have not really done any research into what is known about consciousness and the functioning of the brain. I know what metaphysics tells us on many fronts. But, I have not been interesting in what science tells us on a more formal front. What seems most important is our firsthand experience and finding a way to capture that and share it with others.

There is a great urge to share of whom that I AM, as fully as I can. Also, to demonstrate firsthand how spirit can express in flesh in our lives here and now. I am a wayshower. This is what I came to do. Further, it seems that this is the only thing that I came to do. It took 35 years to reach a point where I was able to tap the well of consciousness. We are coming up on the 10 year anniversary of that day in two months. Can it really be a decade since the words from consciousness started flowing forth into expression? It truly is hard to believe that this much time has elapsed. Yes, I've changed a lot in that time. And yes, I have an abundance of words to show for myself. If I had $1 per word, I would be a millionaire. There is something magical about that. Over one million words expressed in ten years ... nearly 1/3 of those expressed in 2002. But, is the world a better place for my having lived this past ten years. That is a more difficult question to answer.

Is this stream of consciousness expressed here my legacy? Will it make a difference during my lifetime, or is the expression before its time, as the saying goes? Many good books are like that. Their full impact is not felt until many years after they were written, and perhaps long after the author has passed on. Is that the nature of this expression? Will it stand the test of time? Perhaps, perhaps not. There is still the possibility that all of this is meant for my eyes only. It is all part of an elaborate training process for my consciousness. Hmm ... who is doing the training? None other than spirit herself.

What is it that I am to do with my life? This expression seems to be a major part of that. I can tell because of how I feel when I am engaged in doing it. It is as if this is the most important activity that I could be doing. It is as if I'm capturing something wonderful, something magical ... a stream of consciousness flowing from spirit through me. The sense is that this is a rare thing. Many are engaged in the dance of consciousness. But, few record that dance and make it available for others to experience.

Computer programming has come a long way in the past 50 years. But, computers are no where near as complex or as capable of adapting as the human brain. Further, the very fact that our minds are self-conscious sets us apart. We know what kinds of things impact our beliefs and our behavior. Commercials and advertisement have taken advantage of this for years. There are many metaphysical and self-help books that explain how to use similar techniques to program our beliefs and behavior to attain goals that we desire to reach. However, these only work if we want something, and want it strongly enough to exhibit the required discipline. What of those who don't want things for themselves? What of those who desires go far beyond self to the society and even to the world? How would we achieve what we desire? Be the change that you want to see in the world. Something to that effect came from Gandhi if my memory serves me. But, if what I want is community, common unity, in the deepest sense of the word ... how can I be that? Hmm ... that seems simple. Start establishing your relationships according to your grandest ideals of what should exist in your ideal community.

For life to have value, ultimately it must be shared. Yes, we all need our quiet time and solitude ... some far more than others. But, at some point we must interact with others and must do something of service with our lives.

The only place that we have any power is in the moment ... right here and right now. What we decide to believe and do in each moment will determine how our lives unfold. Every experience is drawn to us in this manner.

Change what we believe, and we change what we experience. When we do this en masse, we change the world. The mass media has the awesome power to impact many in a short period of time. At no time in history has it been this easy to reach so many people. And, remember ... critical mass is a small subset of the population.

Many would be happy to see the physical and economic conditions in the world improve. Can we do things that make them better off than in the year before ... in particular, safer and more abundant? Poverty is one area where we as a human race have failed miserably, allowing a large portion of our population to live in dire circumstances. This is not fair, this is not right, and this must be changed. We change it by realizing that all humans deserve to live in a manner where their basic needs are met, period. This is a spiritual belief. We are all entitled to a decent life. Yes, how decent should be somewhat dependent on the effort that we apply. However, the poverty level is the level below which needless suffering is incurred. This we simply cannot allow. It is simply not acceptable. It is within our power to fix this. Charitable organizations are one way, but this results in the few who give carrying the load for a problem that belongs to all of us.

As a society, we need to decide what individuals are entitled to. Yes, entitled to. Living conditions above the poverty level are one such entitlement. Education is another. It is society's responsibility to provide these entitlements. That doesn't mean that we can't expect something in return. The basic social contract is from each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs. The entitlements that we are talking about are basic needs. In return, individuals need to apply their abilities in ways that provide a service to society. It is perfectly OK for society to decide what this should be. However, it needs to be an agreement between the individual and society. This begs the question of who speaks for "society" in these matters. That is part of what is missing in the social infrastructure. We need a vocational placement service that categorizes people by ability and matches them to suitable occupations. The current economic system does not do this.

5 January 2003

Time is colored by our psychological perception of it, just as space is. We experience reality in the way that we do for a reason. And, we can change this perception at a moments notice, should we choose to see the world differently. That is the key ... our perceptions are choices that we make, choices about where to apply our attention and then choices about what these perception mean to us. Reality is not absolute, it is relative ... it is different for each of us.

I come here to experience the joy and the wonder of this creative expression where so many words flow forth out of what is essentially nothingness. Here, consciousness gives birth to expression in words. Here, spirit speaks through me in a manner that is unique as far as I can tell.

There is a role that I am playing, there is a play of consciousness that is unfolding in my life. My sense is that I am not alone in this ... that everyone has such a role. It is only that as a wayshower, it is for me to share what I experience and what I AM as intimately as I can with others.

How can I speak in this manner? What is there within me that knows such things that they could be expressed as if they were fact? I only know that there is a source within me that I experience as a voice in my head, as a stream of consciousness, that expresses in this manner. How it is possible is a mystery. That it is possible, I know from firsthand experience, so there is no doubt.

Why am I so moved to share what is expressed here, while I keep such a tight hold on everything else in my life? Overall, I am a very private person. Yet, here, I freely share much of whom that I AM, along with whatever source is able to bring forth through me. Perhaps the sharing is easy because it is effectively anonymous. I don't know who reads this and how it impacts them. Yet, there is a desire to know, a desire for feedback that would allow me to see what impact I am having. It is important that what I do, what spirit does through me, have world impact. Yes, I have high expectations. However, where the abilities are great ... so are the expectations of their usage.

6 January 2003

I still consider this expression to be one of my crowning glories. It is here where I am able to do things that few others can do, and even then, not in the same way. Here, I allow a stream of consciousness to flow forth. Here, I allow spirit to speak through me as she will ... or, at least, as she can through this channel. I am impressed and amazed by what is able to come through. In particular, by an organization which is completely outside of my conscious awareness. Either this comes from spirit herself ... or, I am blind to major parts of my own consciousness which have such abilities. My sense is that it is a little of both at work.

I still have far to go to address the prime directive - Know Thyself. Yes, I have come far on the path ... far enough that I can share where I have been with others. But, this is only the beginning not only of what I am able to do, but of what we are able to do together. In this case, we being spirit and I ... and others and I. Both contexts are equally valid and equally important. I have focused on the first and neglected the second for too long. It is time for a shift, a major shift I suspect.

What is this communication? Many would liken it to a journal of sorts ... documenting a path that my mind has followed. But, I think of a journal being a chronicle of the events of our lives plus the feelings that we have about those events. That is not what comes through here. Neither is this fiction. I am not making it up. I am not creating it out of my imagination. It shows up in my mind as a voice that I type. It comes across as factual and declarative. For the most part, I have no reason to doubt it.

Ye shall know them by their works is a powerful truth. It is by the works that we do, that we impact the world. And, impacting the world is very important. This is how we find meaning in our lives. This is how we make a difference.

I would live a life of meaning, of purpose ... a life that makes a difference to many. Why must my life be so grand? Why am I not content to live as others do and be ordinary? There is just something inside that knows what is right for me. The standards that I set for myself are very high ... so high in fact, that I do not expect others to live by them. Yet, I know that I must. These are spiritual standards that apply to me personally, and to all beings once they reach an appropriate level of awareness. My opinions of myself and my abilities are very high. Some might label them extreme and overly grandiose. However, it is this very self-assessment that drives me to do what I do in the manner that I do.

Awareness is a subjective experience. Consciousness is experienced subjectively as well. And, this more than any other is the realm that is home to me.

If resources were not a constraint ... what would I be? ... what would I do? Then, how can I live my life so that I can be this and do these things anyway? Constraints only exist to the degree that we believe in them. There is always a way over them, through them, or around them. Though we may have to be patient and creative to find these ways.

7 January 2003

What next? There is a strong sense that something major has changed ... both for me and for the world. I feel different somehow. I am different somehow! Spirit is flowing forth in a fresh and new way once again. Where this is all headed remains to be seen and experienced. But, I like what I am seeing so far. My world is changing as I am changing. That is how the process works. Indeed, be the change that you want to see in the world. It is by our example that the mold is set through which events in the world are shaped.

Each of us is an example to someone. For many, it is the role of parent to child, or that of older sibling to younger sibling. However, some of us have chosen to break the biological chains and have to find other ways of serving as an example to others in the world. Then again, perhaps the emphasis for needing to do this comes from the fact that I came to be a wayshower. And, for me, leading by example is the way that seems appropriate.

Who is it that needs to hear what I have to say, what spirit has to say through me? Is it even meant for me to know? There is a sense that much of my work is foundational and that generally happens behind the scenes. There are many who care to bask in the limelight. And, yes, the Leo rising in me would like to see some of that. However, for the most part, I am content to do my work anonymously. It is enough that I get to participate in this endeavor in the manner that I do. But, is it really enough? Am I being as effective as I could be? My sense is no to both accounts. However, it is not clear how to remedy this.

How do I turn this expression ... what I love to do ... into a vocation, into something through which I earn my living? Is that something that I really want to do? Could I continue to express in this manner hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year? The sense is that YES, I could ... no problem. Last year provided an example of what I can do part time. I long for the opportunity to see what spirit and I could do engaged in this expression on a full time basis.

Here, I see things revealed that I did not know that I knew. Each paragraph is a new revelation as well as a spontaneous creation. Here, more than anywhere else, I can live in the moment ... awaiting each letter, each word, each thought. How other men live does not concern me except in general terms. I still express primarily as an individual. Just look at how many times "I" is used in this expression. Yet, this is not from a place of being full of myself. Rather, I can share only what I know ... and my existence to date has focused on knowing myself.

The next step is to start building the foundations for a new world that is beyond anything that we can imagine. We do this by keeping the foundations open and flexible. The foundations are beliefs, in particular, spiritual beliefs that allow spirit to more fully express in flesh because we collectively become a body for its expression. This requires far more cooperation than any efforts in the past have achieved. It also requires a recognition and acknowledgement of how interdependent we are. Independence is an illusion in this world. There are interdependencies everywhere we look. We are all richly interconnected in the web that is LIFE.

How do we know what choices to make? What makes us really think that we have choices? After all, we are never given the chance to return to a previous state and make a different choice. Yes, we have logical "reasons" as to why we do one thing versus another, at least some of the time. But, for all of our reasoning, we never really know whether we have considered all of the factors relevant to the seeming choice.

Most of us have such a limited understanding of our conscious mind, that we really have no clue as to how it is functioning. If I can say this with all of the time that I have spent thinking and thinking about thinking and expressing without consciously thinking ... then it is clear that for the vast majority the functioning of the mind is a mystery, and a great one at that.

Then again, perhaps all of this effort has put me so out of touch with the consensus reality that there is little common basis left. It has been awhile since I considered that question ... am I sane? I guess that depends on your definition of what it means to be sane. I don't see people who aren't there. I don't hear voices of others ... except for this voice inside of me through which this expression comes. Is this the work of a madman? My sense is no. It is too coherent and content rich for it to be the expression of a madman. Then again, perhaps I'm not the best to judge that.

Complex systems need feedback to keep them within proper operating constraints. Just look at life. Human life, in particular, exists within very tightly controlled operating ranges. There are numerous regulatory systems to keep things balanced properly. When parameters go outside of their ranges the body gets sick and can even cease to function altogether resulting in death. Do not the same kinds of things exist within the body of humanity? Are our social systems the equivalent of the regulatory systems? What is the overall state of health of humanity? My sense is that it is dying rapidly ... and in need of something to heal it and bring it back into balance. That something is a set of spiritual beliefs that truly serve us ... all of us.

8 January 2003

One day at a time. That is how we are meant to live our lives. No, that does not mean that we cannot plan for the future. The things that we do now definitely have a far reaching impact. However, we need to be careful not to overdo it. We need to allow some room for the unknown, for the mysterious ... to enter into our lives.

Spirit has much more in store for us than we can imagine, if only we will allow her to impact our lives as only she can.

Whatever we experience is right for us ... it is a way, not the way. It helps to remember that.

There are as many paths to spirit as there are people. Each of us must ultimately find the path that is right for us. Most follow the well-beaten paths of the mainstream religions. There are a select few who choose to blaze their own paths through the wilderness of spirit.

I would use the God given abilities and talents that I came into this world with. And, I would use them in the service of spirit, society, and even the whole world. Yes, I believe that I am meant to have world impact somehow. This is a heavy cross to bear, one that is accompanied by a great responsibility. However, I have never been one to shirk responsibility.

Genius or madman ... a bit of both or neither? How would I determine this or not? The sense is that it does not really matter. I am what I am and I express what I express. That is enough. I need no label to define whom that I AM.

Clearly, I do not see the world as others do. And, it is more than a matter of needing different glasses. It is our beliefs that determine how we see the world. Change the beliefs and you change the reality. It is that simple. However, where do we go to find more empowering beliefs? My path has taken me to metaphysics. That is one such place to look. New Age, Aquarian Age, and Inspirational books are other places. Also, books of quotes are wonderful. The greatest quotes from the greatest minds in history have much to offer.

All of this suggests that the work I do may not be understood in my own time. I came to be a wayshower, yes, but that does not necessarily mean for current generations.

The desire is simply to allow spirit to express in flesh as fully as she can through me at this time. Yes, that is a lofty goal ... one that is worthy of a lifetime of striving. It is not for me to determine what form this expression will take. It is better to freely allow it to go where it will. I am a willing vessel, a willing participant in all of this. But, what is expressed is far beyond anything that I consciously know to be me. How can this be so? That is a worthy question to ponder. However, that it is so is a fact ... it is something that I am aware of experiencing daily. What does it say about the nature of consciousness, the nature of spirit, and the nature of reality creation that this expression occurs in the manner that it does?

What part of this expression is spirit speaking versus me speaking? At some level, we are one, so the distinction is really arbitrary. This expression is a training ground of sorts for me. It allows me to experience expressing a stream of consciousness in a particular way. It forces me to open up and be receptive to what would come forth. It ever surprises me ... in terms of both the quantity and quality of what is expressed. It provides a type of programming for my mind ... programming in which I am the recipient and not the programmer.

The very fact that this sequence of letters and spaces, of words and ideas passes through my hands and through my mind is evidence of this programming. What I am being programmed for, I can only guess. But, the sense is that it is to carry out the mission that I came to perform. This very expression is part of that mission in some way. Though, there is a sense that there is far more to come.

This is only the beginning. An auspicious one yes, but a beginning nonetheless. There is so much more that I could do ... if only ... That is part of the problem. It is time to remove the conditional and get on with it. There are foundations to be built. Is it not appropriate that one whose Heart's Desire is 22:The Master Builder would have a role to play in building the foundation for a new world? Yes, that is a big task for anyone. But, it is child’s play for the one. It is a matter of moving people to cooperate and work together in the right ways ... in effective ways ... in ways aligned with generating the reality that we say that we want to experience on this planet.

9 January 2003

The expression continues. While I am moved to engage in it ... it seems to be the most important thing in the world, in my world anyway. Here I participate in something grander that I know myself to be. Here, my beliefs get challenged. Here, I am forced to confront experience that goes beyond anything that I have any right to expect or suspect might occur. But, this is the reality that I experience. There is no denying it. Here, I can be the best that I can be ... in ways that far exceed any other experience in my life.

This expression, this stream of consciousness, is my connection to the eternal within me. It is where I tap into a source that is far more than I know myself to be. This doesn't mean that I am not that source. Perhaps I am, perhaps I am not. It just means that I don't experience it as being me.

I've found it is always good to leave spirit sufficient room to express as she will in my life.

How do I carry out my mission as a wayshower? What is it that I would show and to whom? The most important thing that I can share is whom that I AM ... and in the process of sharing, hopefully show others more of whom that they are as well. And, what we are is spirit expressing in flesh, seeking ever greater expression. This is what evolution is all about. Evol-ve. From the middle back this is LOVE. From the middle forward this is L-VE. There is a message here. The love from spirit is the motive force. The l-ve that we experience is the best that we can do in flesh. It is not quite a mirror reflection, but the intent is there. What the forward direction is missing is 0:source. That is how we experience unconditional love. We allow spirit to do her works through us. We serve as the instruments of spirit that we are meant to be.

Be all that you can be is a strong spiritual directive for all of us. It doesn't matter what that is ... it is not fair to compare what anyone is to what anyone else is. What matters is what each one of us is compared to what we have the potential to be. And, this is far more than most people imagine. We are incredible beings, capable of doing grand things ... especially if we allow spirit to work through us to do them.

There is a sense that something important has changed ... that we have passed through another breakpoint somehow. Exactly how this will affect us collectively remains to be seen. However, the sense is that the effect will be widespread, encompassing the entire world. It is as if the world is a much smaller place somehow. We have realized some of the interconnectedness, because it has been forced upon us in a way that we can no longer choose to ignore. The long term effects from this will be changes in the ways we relate person to person, group to group, society to society, and country to country. The status quo no longer works. And, we will have to find something to replace it that does work.

10 January 2003

As usual, I don't have much of a clue as to what will come next. I only know that it is always safe to take the next step, in whatever direction I am moved to take it. There is an inner compass that knows where I am meant to go. I count on it to lead the way. I have no need to have conscious control over the process. I know that spirit knows best, and that she is guiding me, leading me to where I need to be and moving me to do what I need to do. Under her care, I know that I cannot go wrong.

The stream of consciousness has its own way of wandering through the wilderness of spirit. Words get expressed and ideas connected in ways that go beyond anything that I know or have seen before.

It is curious that I would change the world, yet for all practical matters I am cut off from that world. I don't watch the news, read newspapers or magazines, or listen to the news on the radio. I live much as a hermit ... interacting with few people at work, and very few people outside of work. Yes, this is a self-imposed isolation of sorts, one that I freely choose to experience. To some degree, this way of living makes me whom that I am, and allows me to express as I do. No, I am not trying to rationalize it. Nor would I wish it on another. In some ways, it has been an easy life overall; however, in other ways, it has been quite difficult and challenging.

I need to do it my way. Yes, that is a distinct theme ... I would do it my way or not at all. Hmm ... it is interesting that in this very expression I don't exert control over the way the expression comes forth. I trust spirit to provide whatever control is necessary.

Perhaps some of this is driven by an inner knowing that it is not the world as it is that is important, rather it is the world as we are in the process of creating it to be. That is, a new world order in a new age. Yet, where is this work to transform the world happening? Surely, in the minds of some of our greatest thinkers. But, how do we get it from there to practical implementation in this world here and now? Yes, that is the many trillion dollar question. We get results wherever we apply our resources ... and especially the minds of the best and the brightest among us. We can engage such minds on the next generation of weapons of mass destruction, or on how to create an abundant and peaceful society. It is our choice … or, in this country, our representatives choice. However, here we cannot afford to be silent. Government is meant to be for the people. It is time that we demanded that it be just that.

I know that those whom I am meant to work with and interact with are there, around me already. It's just that we don't yet know it ... and haven't determined the level of interdependence we want to manifest to do what we are meant to do together. Yes, it is up to us to determine this and to agree to it. Conscious interdependence is effectively a contract between the parties involved ... a contract that lays out what is expected from each party and what they will receive in return. We are also interdependent on other than conscious levels. In addition, all of us are interconnected in many ways in the web of all life.

I seem to be at a crossroads of sorts. My present way of living works by the standards of the world ... but doesn't work by the standards that I set for myself. I am not as effective as I could be. My talents are not being applied where they are most needed. My work is not as challenging or as satisfying as it could be. It is time for something to give. It is not that I can't do the job and do it well. It is just that I know what I am capable of doing ... I know the things that keep my attention, the things that challenge my innate abilities ... and I am not getting enough of these on the job. But, one could say, that's how the game is played in the economic system. We do what the job requires in return for our paychecks, we sell ourselves at whatever price the market will bear. That makes us mental prostitutes of a sort ... in my work area anyway where mental products are the chief things that are produced.

Yes, that is the way things are. But, something deep within me says that it does not have to be such. The economic system is one of the social systems in need of fundamental change. It is far less productive overall than it could be. Part of this comes from a fear in the labor force that increased productivity results in fewer jobs. That might be true if the economy were fixed ... but it is not. There are always more goods that can be created and more services that can be provided. If the savings efficiencies are invested in new areas, there will always be plenty of work for everyone.

I have great confidence that we can make the economic system work ... and that we can do it in a manner that serves the world. However, it will take something different than more of the same. We need some bold new ideas to recreate our economic lives. To begin with, we need a social contract: from each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs. We've said this before many times. We will continue to say it until it sinks in. Yes, this is communism pure and simple. But, it has not been implemented successfully anywhere yet, not even close. The contract is as straightforward as you can get. Each individual gives to society by employing their natural abilities in some way that serves. In return, society gives to the individual that which is necessary to meet each individuals needs ... physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Note that communism as an economic contract does not conflict with democracy as a government. We are so used to the Cold War mentality where democracy and communism were completely at odds as political systems.

This is more than a philosophy argument of whether the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. In reality, each individual counts. If they are asked to give their life to something ... it should not be a political or economic or ideological cause that may require their death. If anything, it should be to give their whole natural life to something worth living for, not something worth dying for. At this point in my life, I cannot think of a scenario where something is worth dying for. Yet, I continue to work in an industry supporting the military. And, many that I work with see that the Constitution of the United States is indeed worth both fighting and dying for if necessary. Yet, who is it that determines if necessary? Who determines what threats are worth engaging in war over?

Yes, I have been working with beliefs and consistency of belief systems for some time now, over 15 years. That is a long time working with anything. However, it was in 1993 when I experienced a crisis in beliefs, a beliefquake of a major order that shook the foundations of all that I thought that I believed. It took many months to rebuild what was torn asunder ... this time on far more solid ground. 1998 was another story. It shook me in a far different way, one that I am still integrating nearly 5 years later. I don't know if I will ever know the full picture of what that experience meant.

It is within our power to create ourselves and our world anew, in whatever manner we choose for it to be. Yes, we are that powerful. Further, the time is right for doing this ... now as at no other time in history.

11 January 2003

So, here I am standing on the edge of the abyss once again. I have been here often ... and it seems that I am destined to be here for major portions of my life. That is OK. Standing on the edge of the unknown is old hat now. It is something that I have grown used to, more than that, something that I long to do. Here I am free in a way that I can be nowhere else. Here the wings of my consciousness can soar on the winds of source, of spirit. I like doing this. In fact, I like it so much that I am willing to pour untold hours in this. I do this because I must ... because there is a force deep within me that drives me to express. Also, I do this because I have some sort of contract with spirit herself ... something to the effect that she will look after me if I will do her bidding.

Here I speak for spirit ... that is, I allow spirit to speak through me. These are my words, yet in a way, they are not my words at the same time. They are selected via a process of which I am not consciously aware. Further, it seems that I will never be aware of this process. It is meant to be a mystery, and it seems that it will remain so. That is OK. One can do far worse than have mystery as an active part of ones life. I am comfortable living with the unknown and even the unknowable in my life. As an explorer of consciousness, this is a very good thing. Exploring where others have been may yield some new information, but exploring the unknown, exploring where none or no more than few have ventured is a whole other thing. This is what excites my soul. This is what gives my life meaning. Further, it does so even if consciousness herself is the only witness to my discoveries.

Life for me is the expression of spirit in flesh. My task, my mission, is to find ways to reveal more of what is unknown ... that is to make the unknown known. This is a most challenging endeavor. It is one that is worthy of all the effort that I can muster. Further, it is one that allows me to be all that I AM, and use the god-given talents with which I have been gifted.

Gifts are meant to be used. The greater the gifts, the greater the tasks for which they are to be used. Yes, I consider my gifts to be great. But, I have a tendency toward grandiosity. However, it doesn't hurt to believe in yourself and your abilities. After all, if you don't, who will?

How are we to judge whether our evaluations are reasonable or accurate ... especially our evaluations of our abilities? How do we know what pronouncements of ourselves are true? This expression is often stated in the declarative, as if what is being said is obvious and true. There are no arguments given for things. There are no debates. There are no rationalizations. There are simply statements to be evaluated on their own merit.

It pays to believe strongly whatever we believe, yet be open to more powerful ideas should they come are way. There is nothing wrong with changing beliefs often ... or with changing them quickly. Beliefs are the vessels through which we create our reality. Because of this, it is important to become acquainted with what our beliefs are, and the methods for consciously changing them. When we become the masters of our beliefs, we become the masters of our reality. Further, we are meant to be masters in this area ... each and every one of us. That means this should be something that we are taught. It is probably the most important lesson that we can learn. Yet, why is it that something so important is absent from the education of the vast majority? Why is it that we have to go to the metaphysical/new age/occult and now self help sections of the libraries and bookstores to find any material on this?

It seems the time has come to make consciousness technology more available to the masses. Actually, the first step might involve using consciousness technology to wake up substantial portions of the population so that they in turn can help wake up others that the whole world might awaken. The sense is that this is indeed the course that we are on. Further, it is a course that will occur in a much shorter timeframe than most might imagine. The sense is that this will be in years, not decades, and definitely not centuries.

Am I wasting my life away on foolish beliefs? I don't consider this expression wasting my life away. In fact, this expression may be the only thing that remains that is evidence of my having lived. Yes, this stream of consciousness, recorded in this fashion is my greatest creation to date. It may when all is said and done be the greatest creation of my life, though I sincerely doubt that. My path seems to be leading to the ever greater expression of spirit in flesh. I sense that this will continue so long as I live ... and at this point, that seems to be for a good many more years.

We speak of building the foundations for a new world. That involves building an infrastructure that supports each and every individual on the planet to be the best that they can be. That means educational, social, political, economic, and spiritual systems that work to support this. These systems are meant to serve society. Where they do not do this effectively, it is time to reform them into something that does. The infrastructure must support meeting the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs of everyone. At present, it does not come close. Where there is hunger and starvation, the system is failing. Where there is poverty and suffering, the system is failing. Where there is war or violence, the system is failing. Where there is ignorance and intolerance, the system is failing. Even when we confine ourselves to this country, the system is failing. When we look at things from a world perspective, the system is a disaster. Yet, who is there that sees things for what they are, feels a responsibility to change them, and has the power to implement the necessary changes? It seems that if I knew that, I could be king. Though, the answer is obvious ... spirit herself sees these things and will do what it takes to right them. However, she does this by moving us to do her works.

12 January 2003

There is something magical about being able to come to this place and express in this way day after day. Who would have thought it possible, even as little as 13 months ago. Yet, here we are ... allowing this stream of consciousness to flow forth as it will, following it wheresoever it leads us. Somehow, we find a way to fill the blank page. And, not just for the sake of filling it ... but with words that have the possibility to move people and ultimately help to transform the world. Yes, the grandiosity comes forth again. But, what am I to think given the nature of the ideas that are expressed? These go far beyond my formal training. There is a wisdom that comes through that is far beyond my years. If it is indeed mine, then for certain it comes as a legacy/inheritance of what I have done before in other lives. I am only 44 years old. And, for most of that time, I have lived in relative isolation with my primary interaction with the world being through metaphysical books that provided some of the greatest ideas of some of the greatest minds the planet has to offer.

I am the instrument ... spirit is the musician. She is ultimately the source of the music that we play. Yes, it is necessary that I do my part. Without the instrument there would be no music. However, without the musician, the instrument is useless.

My path tends to be a solitary one ... one that does not seem to follow where others have been. Then again, this may be due to a preference on my part of finding my own path rather than following in the footsteps of others.

"I decided long ago to never walk in anyone's shadow. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I'll do as I believe." Indeed, such seem to be words that I live by as well. This song has always moved me deeply ... as do many songs. It is not the music that stirs my soul, rather the lyrics. Words have that power over me. Such is why books have been so prominent in my education, books for the most part that I had to find on my own, or with the prodding of consciousness herself. I find it interesting that the books that have had the most influence on my life came outside of any educational context.

How can things that surprise me be expressed through me? That is part of the magic and the mystery of it all. This is what makes life the grand adventure that it is. Consciousness is everything. Awareness is the most powerful thing that we can possess because it is what allows us to create the reality that we experience. Awareness is thus the stuff of the Gods. We have been told that we were made in the image of God. What we are lacking is that awareness of our true nature. This we can gain at any time. We can awaken from our slumbers literally in a moment. But, it takes self work to prepare us for awakening.

The right use of will is to choose to serve spirit and manifest things in her timing not ours. Thy will, not mine, be done. Actually, it is more than this ... my will is for thy will to be done. It is for us to align our will with that of spirit. In rejecting our will, we choose to throw out one of our most powerful tools that could be used to serve spirit. And, serving spirit is the name of the game in this existence. Or, better yet, allowing spirit to express through us as fully as she can here and now.

There is still a strong desire to be doing this on a full time basis, as my occupation. Here is where I make my contribution to the world. Is the world a better place as a result of my endeavors? As of yet, not in any way that I know, other than the impact that this expression has had on me.

This is where we have power ... we can change ourselves, we can become the change that we want to see in the world and then live our lives in a way that demonstrates that. Through our example we can impact others, who in turn can impact other, etc ... until the whole world is touched. How we live makes that much difference. We won't even necessarily know who we impact. That is OK. We are to live the life we choose anyway. In particular, we are to live our life knowing that we are spirit expressing in flesh, here and now. We always have been, we always will be. It is only our beliefs and our lack of awareness that have limited us by keeping us in the dark.

The world will be a better place when we do our part by being the best that we can be. This is not some static thing. After all, we are ever in the process of becoming more. With each step in awareness, whole new possibilities open up for us. It is for us to choose from these those that are consistent with our best picture of whom that we want to be. Interesting, we are ever in the process of becoming the image of whom that we want to be. We need to reconcile this with being created in the image of our creator, God/Goddess/All That Is/Spirit or whatever name you choose for this. Our actions need to be consistent with what we say that we want to be ... otherwise, we are not choosing to be this at all.

It is in me to be great ... yet, only in the reflected glory from spirit herself. There is only so much that I can do as an individual. However, there is far more that spirit can do working through me. It is a matter of choice as to who would be the director of our life. Do we choose this mantle ourselves ... from our limited understanding and perspective? Or, do we give this mantle to spirit herself, trusting that she will guide us to do that which is ours to do? Clearly the later offers the most promise, and the most benefit to the society in which we live. That doesn't mean it is the easiest choice. There are many whose egos desire to be in control of their lives ... who don't acknowledge the limitations, and who don't see the benefits that spirit would offer.

13 January 2003

We are meant to give of whom that we are in service to our world in some way ... preferably in some effective way. In return, we are entitled to all that we need and more. That is the social contract. No, it has not been publicly declared yet. But, that does not preclude us from acting as if it is already in effect. When we do that, effectively, it becomes in effect. We don't need some external force to impose anything on us. This can be an inside job. We can choose to do it at any time.

There must be a better way to employ my talents in a manner that serves society more effectively. That is what ultimately matters to me. How well was I able to serve society? And even more important, how well was I able to serve spirit? Though often the two go hand in hand. What would I do if I could choose what to do each day with my time? Actually, I do have that choice to make each day for a substantial amount of free time. And, the primary choice that I make is to come here and express whatever spirit would have me express each day. I feel good about that choice. There is a sense of accomplishment that comes from this expression, a sense that a record has been captured that may ultimately last far longer than I do. This stream of consciousness is important somehow ... more important than any concept that I have of myself. The hope is that what is captured here is sufficient to trigger others to awaken. Whether it does that or not depends on how well I have done my job of bringing it forth.

14 January 2003

There is a sense that something wonderful is about to happen. Last year was special, but it seems that this year will top it by far. Last year caught me by surprise. The expression got off to a running start at the beginning of the year and never really stopped. That was unprecedented. Yet, it continues into this year, two weeks and counting. There really is something special in the air. There is a sense that I can begin to do great things in ways beyond anything that I've experienced to date. I offer all that I AM in service to spirit and thus to the world. It is when we do spirits bidding that we are being the best that we can be. Spirit employs the best that is in us. She knows how to elicit our best. She guides us, she encourages us, she leads us, she moves us ... to the degree that we allow her to. She is only limited by the limits we accept of our own free will.

The unknown is a magnet for me. It attracts me like a moth to a flame. Then again, that comes from my nature as an explorer and a wayshower. Yet, to whom would I show my way? After all, it is only a way, and I have no idea as to whom and how many would benefit from following where I have been. What makes my way any better than any other? It is not any better, but it may be helpful. Further, it is distinct in the manner in which it is expressed. I have to believe that spirit knows what she is doing. After all, this is as much her expression as it is mine, perhaps even more.

15 January 2003

There is something mysterious and magical about this. No matter how long I spend engaged in this manner, the expression remains fresh and new. The expression challenges what I know myself to be and what I understand spirit to be. That alone is sufficient to justify the time spent. Besides, there is a product that comes out of all of this ... a stream of consciousness expression, a record of where one consciousness has been. Interesting ... where one consciousness has been others may follow if there is a map, a record of sufficient fidelity. Is that what all of this is? And, if so, how do we get the map to those who need it?

Look for ways to speak, to express whom that you are, with others. Allow the light within you to shine. Express as only you can express. Yes, this expression is your expression in the only way that counts. There is not you and spirit. There is only you as the expression of spirit. Only part of this expression is in flesh. However, that is the part that counts. We have incarnated specifically to allow spirit to manifest and experience reality.

16 January 2003

There are many ways of striking out into the unknown. Paths to some degree are the trodden directions, though some are far more trodden than others. It takes a rare soul to venture into the unknown on their own. The many are possessed of the mentality of the herd. Blending in, and doing things as others do, are important to them. My life is somewhat of a mixture. I am silent by nature, blending into the background in most social settings. However, I do speak out on things that matter, both in my work life and my spiritual life ... especially in the latter, as is obvious from everything that is expressed through me here. I would be the consummate individual, yet much that I do is in service to things greater than myself ... in particular to society, to the world, and to spirit herself.

I express by writing. And, I write whatever I am moved to write. What is it that does this moving? The only answer I can give is the spirit within me. She is the source from which all of this springs.

I've known myself to be an ancient being for some time. There is a knowingness, a wisdom, a common sense that I possess that is far beyond my years in this existence. Some of the things that I know, as revealed in these writings are not things that I learned in this lifetime. They had to come from somewhere else ... in particular, other places and other times.

So, where does that put me in the grander scheme of things. I am a scribe, an instrument through which spirit writes what is expressed here. Whether this is that part of spirit that is focused on expressing as me, or a grander part of spirit of which I am only loosely aware seems to vary from day to day and minute to minute. Ultimately, it doesn't really matter. The expression stands on its own as the creation of consciousness.

From some standpoint, this is all me. And, some day, I will be aware enough to fully realize this. And on that day, a new day will have come indeed. For the fire of spirit will not be squelched. Rather, it will spread to encompass the whole world. Further, that day is not far off, in some distant future. It is close, on the immediate horizon. Though, I don't know how soon that will be. Not that it matters. The timing will be perfect, in accord with the plan of consciousness. Each will be moved to play their roles, if not by inner forces, then by external ones.

17 January 2003

Behind the scenes, consciousness communicates to consciousness through consciousness. Those who are meant to interact will be moved to do so. The appropriate events, the appropriate scenes in the play will be scripted ... and these will be enacted by each of us. Destiny will ensure that those whose lives need to touch one another will indeed do so. There are things that we can do to facilitate this happening. The first step is being open to the idea that there may be things that we have to do ... and that we should do them when we are so moved. Realize that we are the vehicles through which spirit expresses and experiences life as we know it. The limitations are all ours. Spirit can show us the way to freedom from these limits. It is all a matter of beliefs and perceptions. In our perceptions, we assign meaning to what we experience. The meaning is not part of the experience, it is something that we choose, that we create. In fact, this may be our greatest choice as sentient beings ... the ability to choose what anything that we experience means on whatever scale we choose to apply that meaning.

Everything is relative. It is all a big interconnected web. Each piece of information gets tied to others. The more richly interconnected the web, the more useful that it seems to be. We are information processing and interpreting machines. Yes, biological ones ... but, more and more, our value to society lies in what information we collect, process, and generate. No, that is not all that we do. There are whole realms of relationships and emotions that are more than information ... or is this just different kinds of information?

Where are the other revolutionaries ... my compatriots in change? Surely, there are others who are aware that the foundations for a new world must be created now, and that many of these conflict with existing foundations. Gradual change or drastic change? It seems that the time for the former is long past, and the time for the later is upon us. Yet, it seems that if such is the case, we would see signs of it in the world already. Hmm ... perhaps such signs are indeed there. My interaction with the world is so limited that I wouldn't really know one way or the other.

Spirit has been bountiful expressing through me ... especially bountiful last year. This has not really changed the circumstances of my day to day life, however, other than consuming a great deal of my free time and enhancing my awareness. This expression is a revelation ... from spirit to me, but also from spirit to you. This expression is the record of where one consciousness, namely me, has ventured. Does that make it worth the time it takes to read it? For me, the answer is a resounding yes. But, I cannot speak for others.

I know that something in my life needs to change. I need to be different. I need to believe differently. And, I need to act differently. It is only through such changes that my world will change. Our world changes when we change, individually and en masse. Our personal world reflects back to us whom that we are in the eyes of the world. This may or may not be consistent with whom that we believe ourselves to be. It is important to notice and note the differences ... for it is here that we have the power to do something.

Reality is not some absolute thing. It is different for each of us, and very different across the extremes. While we live in a common world, we as individuals choose what part of that world we engage in and to what degree. Our choices literally shape the reality we experience. They carve out a place in the scheme of things to provide a context for our existence. For most, this is still primarily an other than conscious process. But, some are starting to awaken ... becoming aware that this can be made conscious. And, in doing so, they are finding that they can take control of their own destiny.

We create our own reality, no fine print, no exceptions. We can either do this consciously or other than consciously or perhaps a combination of the two. At the very least, we should be setting the course consciously. However, to do this effectively, we need to connect to source, the spirit within us ... and develop enough trust in what she tells us to base our beliefs and actions on the wisdom from within. This is our soul, the spark of spirit that is focused on our expression as individualized consciousness. It knows things far greater than we know. But, it remains silent, until we stop our ceaseless activity and learn to listen, really listen ... deeply. If we do so sincerely, we will find the voice that we seek. It may be silent at first, until we quiet our minds. But, it will find a way to get through.

We each have a destiny to fulfill. Our soul knows what that destiny is. Often, consciously, we do not. And, perhaps we never really will. We have to be content to take each step, one step at a time. With each step, the next step will make itself known. We may or may not be given a hint of the ultimate destination or some of the waypoints along the path. Consciousness works on a need to know basis. We are given what we need to know when we need to know it. One sign that we need to know something is the questions that we are moved to ask. When questions are formulated and expressed, it seems that they attract the very answers to address them. Indeed, ask and it shall be answered. It is that simple. Though, when you ask, be open to receive the answers from other than normal sources. Spirit won't be limited by our preconceptions of valid sources. She has her ways ... and a multitude of ways at that.

18 January 2003

There is still a sense that I need to find a way to make this my fulltime job ... this, or something derived from it that is closely related. The question is who would consider what I do here to be a service, and who would be willing to pay to have me do it? Now that I've been moved to ask, perhaps the forces have been initiated to make it happen. This or something better for all concerned I ask for now. I must live a life of meaning. There is no other option. I would live a life that makes a difference to society and to the world. Yes, this requires what some might consider to be sacrifice. However, I look at it as an investment of whom that I AM for the betterment of the world in which I live.

We have talked about creating the foundations for a new world. It is high time we got on with this ... for the world is in great need of new foundations, especially spiritual ones that allow us to create a world of peace, tolerance, understanding, and even abundance. It doesn't have to take centuries, or even decades, to institute the foundations for a better world. This can be achieved in a matter of years. It just takes commitment, and a decision to do it. We have the technology, we have the principles, we have the labor force, we have the resources ... we just need to change the rules of the game to something more fitting for this day and age.

While physical laws are beyond our control, social and economic laws are ours to create. And, we can even create as we go should we so choose. Further, spiritual laws are revealed as well. And, these, it seems are the most freeing of all. Most religions have such laws at their core ... but all the additional religious laws that have been codified are far more restrictive. They place one on what the religion considers to be the way, and most are intolerant of the ways of others. It is as if each believes they have the only true way, when in fact, there are many ways to connect with spirit and to live a spiritual life. It matters not if these ways are consistent. However, it is important that they be tolerant and peaceful. Different ways are OK. More than that, they are necessary. Spirit seeks greater and greater varieties of experience. This will lead to more and more ways, not less and less. That is appropriate for the ever-expanding population of the world.

It is not clear how many humans a balanced world can handle. But the poverty that is present in much of the world is a sign that things are out of balance. But, you say, some of the poverty has been there for centuries, if not millennia. And, such is true. But, that doesn't make it right. It is time to see it for what it is ... and for society to accept responsibility for our part in it. Yes, even the developing nations are contributing by the ways they are doing business. We are in a position to take economic advantage of our less fortunate neighbors in the world, and we do so on a regular basis. Look at how many things we consume that cost a small fraction of what it would take to make them in this country. I assume this is true in most developed nations. I've heard that wages in some places in the world are as little as a few dollars a day, perhaps even less. That is an order of magnitude less than minimum wage in this country. What is fair about that? Yes, the people are willing to work for that amount, and may even be glad to have the work. But, does that make it right?

Dwindling rainforests and global warming have been in the news for some time. But, have we considered paying countries with rainforests not to cut their trees? So long as the market for the exotic woods of the rainforest trees is greater than the collective desire to save the rainforests, we will continue to see them vanish until there are no more. Many developed nations had early periods of growth when they greatly diminished some of their natural resources. The buffalo and bison in this country come to mind. They provided great resources to the Native Americans for centuries, but within a decade were slaughtered and decimated by settlers who considered their own needs to be beyond those of the "savages" they conquered. When it comes to a way of life, is our way any nobler that that of these "savages"? In some respects, their society was far better than ours ... at least in terms of the collective looking out for the needs of the individuals. Our way is a different way. It has its good points and its bad. One could do far worse than to live in one of the greatest examples of a free nation that we have in the world. But, we are still a young country. We would be wise to at least listen to what some of the more elder nations have to say. That does not mean we have to agree. However, we should be open enough to learn what we can and employ that in our beliefs and our actions.

Our forefathers set us up as a Novus Ordo Seclorum, a New Order of the Ages. They knew that they were setting in motion something great, something that would be the shining example of liberty in the world. They knew that this was spiritual work that they were doing ... it was far more than establishing a government. They were part of a spiritual brotherhood, and they firmly believed that there was an unseen deity guiding their hands through all of this. Does such a spiritual brotherhood/sisterhood exist today? Is there a similar recognition that a spiritual destiny is at hand ... and that we are the instruments of that destiny? My sense is yes, but I have no awareness of it. They haven't found me, and I haven't found them. Further, it is not clear that we are meant to find one another. Perhaps such will happen, perhaps not. Regardless, I must continue to do as I am moved to do. I do this because in a very real way, this is my job, my task, my mission in this existence. This is why I came. This is why I live. Nearly everything else is a diversion.

I am in her majesty's service as the saying goes, and am grateful to be in this position.

What is expressed through me is what can be expressed through me. This is true for everyone. Each of us is spirit manifesting in flesh. Each of us is a unique expression of consciousness.

My hope is that my works provide you with a means of expanding what you know yourself to be and hence the expression of consciousness that you are. I can only do this by example, by allowing you to walk in my mind for a bit, and follow the path that my consciousness has trod. It is up to you to evaluate whether this is beneficial to you. I know that I am walking on a fine edge ... and perhaps even crossing the line of sanity from time to time. What I believe is often not logical. But, nothing said that logic provides a sound basis for believing anything. If something can be proved, assuming the proof itself is sound, then the issue is a fact and hence not subject to belief at all. The most interesting parts of our life are in those areas where we have choice ... the very realm of beliefs. Here we have true freedom. We can believe whatsoever we will.

My tendency is to neglect the physical in favor of the spiritual. However, this is erroneous thinking. It is all spiritual, the physical as well as everything else.

I'm very stubborn, in general, so when I set my mind on something, I typically find a way to achieve it. Though, it is rare when I set any goals that extend beyond a given day. I live my life in the here and now. Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year ... are an eternity away. Actually, this is not a bad way to live. It enables us to make the best of each moment. Though, I can see that the local decisions may be suboptimal if they are made without insight into where we are headed in the long run. Here, though, spirit intercedes. She moves me to do what must be done in the moment and I believe that spirit knows best. She knows not only what is in my best interest, but what is in the best interest of all concerned. My job is easy ... to do her bidding to the best of my abilities. That is how it works for me. What works for me may or may not work for you. My advice is to try it and see if it feels right to you.

19 January 2003

Each of us has a spiritual destiny. But, we only achieve it if we accept it and allow it to happen.

It takes being all that we are to manifest our destiny. And, we are far more than we think ourselves to be, even those of us who already think in grandiose terms.

That is the key ... to do as we are moved by spirit to do. That means that we must have a connection to spirit within. That also means that we must have the discipline to abide by what it tells us. Both of these things are well within our power. However, neither of these things are the standard path that most people follow. When we expend effort to know thyself, one of the fringe benefits is that we find the source within us. Making the choice to abide by what this source tells us is a different matter entirely. This requires a conscious choice. Further, it requires that we believe that we are ultimately here to do spirit’s works. Yes, we can do works of our own as well. But, it seems that these don't count as much as the works that we do for spirit. Yet, from another vantage point, every work that we do is for spirit in some way. There is nothing else except spirit in expression in this world. Everything is spirit. No exceptions.

We live in dire times ... yet, we live in promising times as well. We can choose to say enough of this nonsense and choose to create the world in which we would prefer to live. Yes, this is our collective choice. And we, as individuals, have the power to influence that choice and shape the very reality we experience. If we truly wish for our world to be peaceful, then we must live peacefully. It is that simple. When enough of us do that, the world will have no choice except to do as we do ... for, we are the world.

If we want the world to be more cooperative, then we must be more cooperative. Everything starts with what we believe and ultimately what we do. Cooperation by its very nature involves others.

No matter how grandiose our thoughts of who we are and what we can do, these pale in comparison to our true nature and reality. We truly are grand beings and we are here to do grand things. Exactly what is different for each of us. However, whatever it is, we gave ourselves the necessary skill, talents, and abilities to do what is ours to do.

We have a purpose, a reason for incarnating into this very existence. While we may have established some challenges to overcome ... we stacked the deck so that we would succeed in accomplishing our mission. Part of the agenda calls for us to learn and to grow so that we can better serve those we are meant to serve. There are many ways to serve. We can serve self, family, friends, community, society, country, world, and even spirit herself. It is important that we find ways to give of whom that we are in service to something greater than ourselves. This is how we abide by the spiritual economic law to never take more than we give.

How do we make the economic system fair to all? Who would be the authority to decide what is fair? My sense is that differences of several orders of magnitude per hour of labor can't be justified. Why can one hour of one day of one persons labor be worth one year of another’s, or one year of one persons labor be worth many times a whole lifetime of labor of another? There is something inherently wrong about a system that permits this. This has gone on far too long. Something needs to be done about it. We collectively need to decide what is reasonable and fair.

Whatever the market will bear is not a sound economic principle. Neither is let the buyer beware. Rather, let the seller be responsible for providing a fair value for any goods and services that are sold. In some areas, a free market economy works fine. It encourages companies to provide decent goods and services at the best overall value. It does this naturally. If prices are too high, there is room for other companies to enter the market and provide competitive goods or services at better values. However, far too often, this does not seem to happen. Competition by its very nature produces winners and losers. It is not a WIN/WIN enterprise.

20 January 2003

We continue to speak with a voice that would be heard, only we do not know who would do the hearing. We express what must be expressed through us, simply because it must be expressed through us. It is as if we have no real choice in the matter. To choose to be silent would be to deny whom that we are. And that, we cannot do, at least not any longer. These words, this expression, is a large part of the work that we are to do in the world. It is not clear whether I am ever to work closely with others. My habit has always been to keep my distance ... to isolate myself from the world that I observe. That doesn't mean that I live my life objectively. Far from it, a life devoted to consciousness is highly subjective, because the very nature of consciousness is subjective. What I experience impacts me, it changes me. And, when I change, my world changes as well to be consistent with whatever I have become.

We are ever in a process of becoming more and more of whom that we truly are. It is not clear that this process ever completes. There is always something more to become, some new level of awareness to be reached. In fact, this goes on lifetime after lifetime until we get it ... until we fully realize that we are spirit in flesh.

It is one thing to say the words. It is quite another to realize them to the depths of ones being. Yet, that is what we are here to do.

What does it take to facilitate change in our lives and in our world? First, being open to it in whatever form it my come. Far too many limit their experience by deciding this kind of change is acceptable but these other kinds of change are not. Second, being willing to go out on a limb and risk something. Much change requires that we take a chance, in particular on ourselves. Third, being proactive and taking initiative. Most of the world operates in a reactive mode that is wasteful and inefficient. Fourth, being responsible. Amazing things happen when we start taking responsibility for the world in which we live.

It seems that I have been playing this game consciously for nearly ten years. What has all of that got me? Even more important, what has that done for the society and world in what I live? For me, the biggest benefit has been the leaps in awareness. I understand myself to be far more than I dreamed possible before. And, my world conforms pretty much with this understanding as well. Yet, this is not true for me alone. It is true for everyone who dares to dream ... especially to dream of a better reality and a better world. It seems that several have utopian visions, and that such dreams have been part of our experience for some time. On this very day, we celebrate Martin Luther King, one made famous by his "I Have a Dream speech". This was true magic, consciousness operating at its highest levels.

We still have a long way to go to get to King's dream of having people be judged based on their merit, and based on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin. We can build a better world. We can make equality a basis for treating people across the land. However, it will only happen if we practice it on a personal level, and if we demand it on a collective level. This is within our power to do. It is a matter of choosing to do it. When will we so choose? My sense is that if is not in question ... the only variable is when.

There is still a strong sense that massive change is on the immediate horizon ... at least in my life, and most likely in the consensus world as well. I can hope anyway, and I can dream. Further, I can take the next step and base my actions in accord with my hopes and dreams. It is through our actions that we manifest things in our world. But, these must be in line with a belief system that serves us.

Many do not even know that they have belief systems. Fewer still know that they can assess the utility of these systems and change those that do not serve us. Why is it that such necessities of living are not taught to us. Why is it that we are forced to learn such things on our own. Actually, that is not quite right. We are not forced at all. That would imply that we have to do it sometime in our lives. Many never get this far.

We are the creators of our reality. We are the masters of our fate. Either we do this consciously, or we do it other than consciously. The choice is ours. Living consciously ... living an aware life, are not such easy things to do. But once we breakthrough into awareness, there is no going back. Once we truly realize that we are spirit manifesting in flesh, the rules of the game change. The things that concern us change. Where we focus our energies, our resources, and our attention changes. We become the spiritual beings that we are. Yes, we are still physical, we are still flesh ... but, we become aware of other aspects of ourselves as well.

Awareness is one of the most, if not the most important things in the world. It is where consciousness finds the vessels for expression. When we are aware, we experience firsthand our unity with consciousness ... at least with the part of consciousness that manifests through us and as us. What we are and what we do are not separate things. They are united such that one cannot exist without the other.

Consciousness by its very nature experiences and expresses. In other words, it is and it does. Being and doing seem to be separate things. On the show Babylon-5, there were two ancient races ... the Shadows and the Vorlons. They were characterized by two basic questions. The Shadows explored the question "what do you want"? The Vorlons explored the question "who are you"? How we approach these two questions and the degree to which we favor one over the other says a lot about us. As you can probably tell, I heavily favor the Vorlon nature. There is not much that I want for myself. Fame, fortune, achievements, possessions, relationships ... none of these drive me or stir my soul. They may be nice to have from time to time, but it is the things of the spirit that consume my attention. These are the gifts that I seek ... the return for the investment of my labors. I would know whom that I AM. That, more than anything else, is my strongest desire.

At some point I need to confront the question of what it is that I truly want? For, at some level, what I want is what spirit wants for me. These two wills are in sync with one another. My will is thy will and vice versa. Interesting, why can't fame, fortune, achievements, possessions, relationships ... be the things of spirit as well? I speak of them as if they were less than the spiritual in some manner. There is no reason this needs to be the case. Perhaps that is some of what holds me back. I have limited my focus and my experience to those things that I deemed to be spiritual. As always, such limits are self-imposed and only exist so long as we choose to experience them. It seems that mine have bound me long enough. I would be free to experience all of the gifts that spirit has to offer, that life has to offer.

Can it be that simple? Does all it take is to declare what we desire to be? No, there is more to it than that. We must sincerely believe that we are deserving of what we desire. Further, our lives must be balanced or positive from a spiritual economics standpoint. We must be giving more than we are receiving. We must be creating a surplus in whatever areas our lives touch. This doesn't mean each aspect must have a surplus ... though there would be nothing wrong with that. Rather, overall there needs to be a positive balance. The sum of what we give must be worth more than the sum of what we receive.

We are our own judge and our own jury. And, if my experience is any indication, we can be far harsher with ourselves than any others would ever be. For one thing, nothing is hidden from us. We know the facts. We know our intents and our motivations. At times we may allow the emotions to take over and determine our behavior. This may or may not cause difficulty. There is nothing to say a rational life is superior to an emotional one. We are both, we are rational beings and we are emotional beings. Actually, that is only half of it. We are also physical beings as well as spiritual beings. All of these dimensions of our beingness are valid. They are all worthy of being experienced. Different people choose different combinations of these basic ingredients. Some are balanced across all four. Others favor one or more, or avoid one or more. These are all the varieties of earthly experience, the endless varieties of the expression of spirit in flesh.

21 January 2003

I feel quite blessed to be able to be of service to spirit in this manner. I had no formal training to prepare me for this role. But, spirit has been guiding me to whatever material I needed to prepare me for this job for much of my life. And, even then, some major leaps of faith were required. I'm sure that many would consider my beliefs to be crazy.

This very expression is not the work of a lunatic or a madman. Quite the contrary. I consider it to be the work of one who has been enlightened ... one through whom spirit has found a voice. Yes, I have a very high opinion of myself and my abilities. That should not be a surprise for one who has focused on the task of knowing thyself. Along with abilities comes the responsibility to use those abilities to serve others in some way. The greater the abilities, the greater the level of service required. Yes, required. Spiritual law demands that we use the gifts that we are given.

Songs can be very powerful. They have the potential to touch many people and to move them deeply. Often, people are not aware of the full impact that the songs have. For me, the lyrics are by far the most important ingredient. Then, I am moved primarily by words, so this is not surprising.

Thus far, this has been a voluntary service, one that I do for the sheer love of doing it. However, it seems that this is my true life’s work, and there should be some way to make a good living doing what I love to do. We can engage the first clause ... we can choose to do what we love. From there, it seems that it is in spirits hands. We can only do so much ... but we will be surprised by how much that really is when we free ourselves to do what we love. When we do so, work is transformed into play, and we achieve an efficiency of effort that is not commonly found in our endeavors.

There is a great deal of wasted time, effort, and money because we force individuals to make decisions under less than optimum circumstances. For instance, why should individuals have to do their own research to compare products or services when they need to make a purchase. Wouldn't it be better for an impartial qualified person or group to do the analysis and then make that available to many who might need it. Consumer Reports does something like this on a number of products.

"Life is short, and I can't afford to waste another minute." That is one of Jack Nicholson's lines in the movie About Schmidt. That is another case where the creative arts express profound spiritual truths ... this time in a movie. I've heard this line in ads for the movie many times in the past few days. I definitely feel this way ... not so much that life is short, but that we need to make the most of every moment no matter how few or how many our days in this existence. We can only do that if we place a high value on our time, and if we decide what constitutes waste versus worthy endeavors.

Spirit will not be forced, neither will she force. She operates strictly on a basis of cooperation. We could do far worse than to base our life and our actions in a similar manner. Cooperation is the way of the future. Competition has its place, but it needs to be limited to where it is truly of value. Cooperation is always WIN/WIN, provided it is sincere. Competition is nearly always WIN/LOSE. It nearly always results in benefit to someone or some group at a cost to someone else or some other group. The economic system and sports are two areas where this is prominent. But, there are many other games that we play as individuals and as a society where this applies as well.

I would be whom that I AM. Here, I can do that to a degree greater than anywhere else in my life. It is curious that this would be the case, that I express open loop to an unseen audience, with spirit alone as my witness. Yet, day after day, this is exactly what I do.

My experience is just that, my experience. From what I have seen, it is unique, different from that of any other. Yet, it is not that I have much of a basis for comparison. I don't interact enough with others to know how they experience life and experience consciousness. Will this ever change? My sense is yes, it will. To some degree I have learned what I can on my own. To advance further will require entering into cooperative interdependent relationships with others ... potentially many others. Though, the later thought makes me cringe. I'm a very solitary person overall. I need solitude to explore the depths of whom that I AM and to touch the waters of spirit. I can't see ever giving this up. It is a part of my very nature. But there is the stubbornness coming forth. Richard Bach said "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." Yes, the Messiah's Handbook in the book Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah had its share of gems.

Who am I to advise another? All that I can do is share the path that I have followed, in hopes that it may have some benefit to you as well. Whether you choose to venture down that path, and the degree you choose to do so are your choice and should be based on the utility you experience in your life. Try what moves you, and use whatever you find useful. Don't be too rigid. Adapt the techniques and make them you own. My path is just that, my path. It is a path, it is definitely not the path. There are as many paths to spirit as there are individuals ... perhaps even more. Yet, there is no reason for us not to share and learn from one another.

Cooperate and graduate. It seems that we are at a critical juncture point in the growth of our world. Either we learn to cooperate and work together to create a better world, or we fail and we suffer the consequences of our actions and inactions. It is that simple. None of the problems that we face are insurmountable. They may seem to be that way, but that is only when we look at them from the level in which they were created. Einstein said something to that effect. The key is to take the high ground, to see things from a larger perspective. The main problems of the world are not physical ones, nor political ones, nor economic ones. Don't get me wrong; there are a lot of these. But, for the most part, they are symptoms rather that the root problems. Our major problems are spiritual problems. They can only be resolved with spiritual solutions.

How can I know all of this? It just seems so obvious. Nearly three decades of reading and thought didn't hurt. All of the many books, word after word, thought after thought effectively programmed my mind and created chinks in the armor of my self. Finally, in 1993, there was an explosion ... an emergence from the cracked cosmic egg. The chrysalis became the butterfly, opened its newfound wings of consciousness and flew with spirit as the wind beneath my wings. This was a wonderful experience for me. However, it was frightening for my wife and others around me. I was noticeably different ... but in ways that those around me could not really relate to. Oh, there were a few. However, for the most part, I was on my own, with spirit herself as my sole guide. I can remember those days as if they were yesterday. My mind was on fire ... being consumed by the very fire of spirit. And, what was burned away has never returned. I have spoken of having a Beyond Mind experience. That was the only way to find awareness, to find consciousness, I had to go beyond anything my mind as I knew it could do.

22 January 2003

I call these musings. I don't know that I even have a good definition of that term. I know the muse to be the source of all inspiration. And it seemed that the appropriate products of one guided by a muse were musings.

Some might consider this to be more of a journal, a record of where my thoughts and emotions have taken me. But, this is far more than that ... for the record goes beyond thought, beyond mind to awareness and the experience and expression of consciousness herself in my life. Is this any different for me than for others? I sense that indeed it is, at least consciously. I am aware of being aware. And, further, I am aware of some of the levels of awareness that I am able to reach. Further, I am aware of a connection to consciousness that most do not seem to experience consciously. That does not mean it isn't there ... just that it is not conscious. I can only know this from the behavior that I observe, and deducing what that means about the awareness of those exhibiting the behavior.

I don't spend much time observing others. Perhaps I need to do more of this. Up until now, I have been content to focus on myself, what I experience, what I express, and how I experience. I would know whom that I AM. In discovering this, my sense has been that I will indeed discover what others are as well. For, we are all spirit manifesting in flesh. Further, we are all souls that spring forth from the same ONE spirit, ONE consciousness.

I use the words spirit and consciousness often on these pages, many times as interchangeable terms. Consciousness is a form that spirit takes, a set of clothes that she wears. Consciousness in turn is the organizing principle that serves as the interface between spirit and the mind. It is through this interface that this communication takes place. The mind seems to have a local operating mode and a cosmic operating mode. The later of these seems to operate on other than conscious levels, behind the scenes if you will. However, with proper self work, it can be made more conscious, and even fully conscious if needed. Awareness relates to how much of the cosmic we have integrated into our lives. Interesting, I don't recall ever seeing it expressed in this manner before.

Here, I try to speak from firsthand experience whenever I can. Primarily, because this is all that I truly know. That doesn't mean we ignore the many lessons learned by others. In fact, we can make our own path easier by taking these into account. However, there is a tradeoff here. The time that we invest in examining and evaluating the applicability of the lessons of others to us is time that we lose in being able to experience things firsthand. We need to make sure that the payoff is worth the cost. This is not always easy to determine up front. Often, we need to try it to see what benefits there are. However, we should expect a relatively quick payoff or move to something else that better serves us and all concerned. We need to be pragmatic in how we approach life. We need to be willing to try new things and see whether we like what results. It is only by doing this that we evolve how we express in the world. And that is one of the major points of life. We are here to evolve and grow into what we are capable of becoming. This exceeds any concepts that we may have, no matter how grand they may be.

Any conceptual framework imposes limits. OK, some impose far less limits than others hence are more acceptable from a spiritual expression standpoint. The goal is to escape from limits altogether, though it is not clear that this is achievable so long as we are physical. That is OK. It is enough that we get close ... that we find a way to be as free as we can be and to express as fully as we can in the world. We express most fully when we allow spirit to express through us. It is that simple. Most of us block such expression, however.

Happiness is a choice that we make as to how we interpret the reality that we experience. Our founding fathers spoke of the pursuit of happiness being an inalienable right. They said nothing about how to find or reach this thing that we pursue. There is a sense that a little dissatisfaction is a good thing. It motivates us to try something different or do something more. To the degree that this is so, we need happiness as the goal that we continue to strive for. For me, I am happiest when I am doing those things that truly challenge me and require my full attention and abilities. Expressing here is one place that I find that. On a fairly regular basis, I find that at work as well. My job allows me to do things that are natural for me ... that provide a showcase for some of my abilities.

This expression is a major investment for me. No, not in terms of resources or finances, but in terms of my time. Time is one of the most precious resources that we have. More and more, I am moved not to waste it, not even one moment. Yet, it is impossible to stay so focused that we make every moment count. We can start by making each day count, doing something each day that has lasting value. We can work up or down from there, making each week count and making each hour count. I try to make it a point to do sufficient work each day to justify the cost that the customer pays to my company for my services. Because this is important to me, I find that most of the time I succeed, often surpassing my own expectations.

I feel that a tithe of my time is the minimal investment in the spiritual side of life. That is a full tithe = 24/10 = 2.4 hours per day. Further, this is not an average anymore. Rather, it is a minimum per day. No, I don't expect others to live by this standard. It is something that I know to be right for me. It is my obligation to spirit for all that I have been blessed to receive. Yes, I feel very blessed. Spirit has given me many gifts, and she has been an instrumental guide for me all of my life. I am clearly in her debt. So much so, that at times it seems that there is nothing I can do to fully repay her for all that she has done. The closest that I can come is to live a spiritual life, to allow spirit to express through me as she will, to do what I am moved to do, and to be all that I can be by serving others to my utmost capacity.

For me, serving others is not an option. The only choice is how to serve. And here, I try to leave it to spirit to move me to where my services are of the most utility. I don't necessarily know where this is. However, I trust that I am being attracted to the specific circumstances where my services are most needed. This is spiritual law at work. Spirit is ever in the process of finding needs and filling them. This is what she does naturally. All that we have to do is be open and allow it to happen, and of course do as we are moved by spirit to do.

For me, spirit is not a personification, it is not an individual. It is the sum of all individuals and more than that, much more than that. Spirit is the source from which we as souls spring. Souls are individualized sparks of consciousness. But, that is like drops of water in the ocean. Consciousness is the ocean, yet it is composed of all of the drops as well.

There is a sense that it is time to move onward and upward. The way to do this is through relationships, through the establishing of community. Yes, an intentional community, one whose constituents freely choose to be such and make a true commitment to one another. Indeed, this seems to be the next step toward the greater expression of spirit in flesh. It is through community that we accomplish things far greater than we can accomplish with the sum of our individual efforts. Here is where the power of synergy gets applied ... allowing spirit additional avenues for expression not only through us as individuals, but through us as a collective. This is as the difference between the individual brain cells and the mind that occupies the brain.

I've spoken of the ONE consciousness and the plan for the greater expression of spirit in flesh, the plan for the creation of a body composed of individuals as cells, that can serve as the home for cosmic consciousness. Strategic thinking deals with understanding the stakeholders, the vision, the mission, the objectives, and the resources of an organization and how these are applied to meeting the goals of the organization. Inherently, I know how to do this. However, I don't typically operate in this manner. I don't have goals. I don't create plans to meet goals. I don't consider myself to be an organization of many parts which must be lead and controlled to accomplish particular things. My strategy is simple. Do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. And, for me, the motive force is spirit herself. Perhaps the prodding at work is an indication that I need to change this modus operandi. Yes, it has served me well for many years. However, if I am to work with others, it seems that they will need to have some insight into what I am doing and why ... and more importantly, how what each of us do fit together within a larger framework that leads to some useful end. We need a common vision to guide our endeavors. And then, we need to partition the work into packages that can be done by smaller groups or by individuals.

What worked for the hermit does not work for one who would be a wayshower for many. It is time to take a more public role, at least a role that is inclusive of others. How many others is still open, depending on how you choose to operate. Here, we will not force your hand. You have followed our guidance faithfully for many years. We will continue to be there for you whenever you call for our assistance, but we expect to cut the strings somewhat and have you operate more autonomously and in a more worldly manner. You have looked to us for solace and comfort long enough. It is time for you to find more of that in those whom your life touches. That means that you will have to touch more people far more deeply than you have to date. But, we know that you have it within you to do so. It is a matter of desiring it and then doing what it takes to make it happen. That doesn't mean that you need to abandon your musings. Writing is still your strongest ability. And, there is much that you have to say. Yes, you have to say. You are not only our voice, you are our brain, our mind, our very consciousness made flesh. Whether it comes from us or comes from you, the expression is what it is. It should be evaluated on its own merit. How useful is it in establishing the foundations for a new world? Yes, you are meant to work primarily on the spiritual but also on the mental foundations. Others will deal with the emotional and physical foundations.

Much of your life has been lived in a detached manner. That kept you from getting hurt, but also kept you from getting close. Is this what you still want to do? Does this choice serve you or limit you? Our sense is the later. Many of your choices as to how to deal with the world were made when you were young. It is time you re-examine them and start to make better choices ... better in terms of who and how you say you want to be now. To change your world, the only real place to start is in changing yourself. After all, this is the only place where you truly have power. You can only have power over others if they grant it to you. They may do this out of hope, out of fear, or out of ignorance. Some people are naturally dominant and are meant either for such roles or to deal with power issues. The multitudes, however, would much rather not deal with such issues. They came to be part of the herd. They are comfortable living as others live and doing as others do. For each exceptional individual, there are many average ones. Though, there is a sense that we are all exceptional in some way and one of our goals should be to establish the social infrastructure necessary to elicit and nurture the exceptional abilities of each of us.

23 January 2003

Quiet time is very important as well. This is what allows us to communicate with ourself, with the spark of spirit that is within us. Unless we are quiet, our own chatter drowns out any chance of receiving anything from source. Yes, silence is definitely golden ... especially when used properly. It can be used to renew our reserves, and to refresh us so that we are ready to face the world again and to carry out the missions for which we incarnated. Yes, missions. We live our lives on several levels, and it seems that there are things that we came to learn and to do on each level.

We are all grand beings. We truly are. Yet, clearly a large majority do not believe thus. That doesn't change the fact one iota.

It is time more realized how precious they are, how fragile, and yet how powerful. At the very least, we have the power to create our own reality. On top of this, we have the power to impact the reality of others. However, here, it is based on mutual understanding and choice. We may never know how many we impact and how deeply. This expression is a case in point. The audience is unseen, and for the most part silent. That makes it impossible to know how many I've touched and in what manner. That is OK. I can live with this as an unknown in my life, and continue doing what I know to be my spiritual work anyway.

I am a spiritual being in flesh ... and my will is spirits will. There is no separation. Yes, I need to be wary of ego muddying things with its limited perspective. However, overall, it seems that my will is now to be used as a tool to manifest things both in my life and my world. Further, it seems that my world is expanding by leaps and bounds. No, this has not yet translated into more and deeper relationships, but that seems to be on the immediate horizon.

One year. There is a sense that much of my world will be transformed in that timeframe. However, this will not be imposed on me by anything on the outside. Rather, it is all change that springs forth from within. To influence others, however, I need to reach out and touch them in some way. This expression is one way. But, it is not enough. There is more that I can do. There is more that I must do if I am to reach those with whom I am meant to connect and work. Since the expression began, I have trusted that it was spirits job to disseminate this expression to those in need of it. I still believe that to be the case. However, now it seems that I have a roll to play in this as well. At this point, I don't know exactly what that is. I sense that it involves finding ways to interact more with others.

I like to explore the edge of the unknowns of consciousness and bring back whatever I find. Most of what I find are states of consciousness which I in turn try to express in words. How successful am I in doing this? That is not for me to decide. That depends on the utility of these words to others. Yet, I do not base the success of my life on the utility of these words. The very act of bringing them forth was the greater success. Their utility is the dessert. Interesting. I do consider myself highly successful. I am proud of my accomplishments both at work and on the spiritual front ... especially the later because it seems to be of a nature to have a more lasting value.

I go to bed content each day that my efforts have been of value and will ultimately make a difference. I can't imagine living life without making a difference, without serving society in a big way. That would be my definition of failure ... to go through life and not be able to make a statement, not to make a difference because of my presence. And, for me, just any old difference won't do. I have declared it to be my task to build the foundations for a new world. This declaration was not made lightly. I know how much commitment it takes. There is a sense that this is not new to me, that I have been here before. No, not exactly in these particular circumstances, for we live in a very special time for the unfoldment of consciousness ... but in similar circumstances where I had an instrumental role to play in creating major change. Clearly, this was not in this existence. Further, it may not even have been on this planet.

My home is a state of consciousness. It has no location. Where I reside is simply that, where I reside. It is all temporary. It is only in consciousness that we can find permanence, and even then it is an everchanging permanence. That is OK, life itself is impermanent. Change is good. Motion is good. E-motion is good. That is, they can be good if we handle them effectively and use them for our benefit and the benefit of all. This later clause is important. We need to consider the impact to the collective when we make decisions. The greatest good comes when we do this. The greatest good will not always maximize the benefit to us personally. But, we need to learn what is enough for us, and how to balance this against the needs of others.

Can I succeed in carrying out the tasks that I believe to be mine? At this point, I have the utmost confidence that indeed I can. The main reason for this is because I am not alone in this. Spirit is ever at my side. More than that ... in a very real way, spirit and I are one. No, I am not all of spirit, but spirit is all of me ... even those parts of me that are still hiding from myself. Given this, I am not a separate entity. The perception of separation is the result of the viewpoint from which we are seeing things and the walls and shadows that are part of that viewpoint. At this point, it still serves us to see ourselves as individuals. So long as it serves us, we will continue to experience it. However, the day is coming when it may be more beneficial to see ourselves as members of a society, rather than as individuals. When we start to do this, we will have unleashed the sleeping dragon that awaits to be freed. Only, in this case, the dragon is not a monster. It is a mythical creature of power and wonder. Puff, the magic dragon ...

I would do what I am here to do. It might help if I knew more specifically what that was. So far, the description is pretty general: create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. Also, serve as the midwife to the birth of the Aquarian Age. These are huge tasks. Yet, they are tasks that someone or some group needs to do. If not me, whom? If not now, when? If not here, where? I am glad to give my life in this service. In fact, I would have it no other way. Do I have much of a clue as to what it will take to do either of these tasks? Not really, at least not yet. But, I trust that I will know what I need to know when I need to know it. I trust that I will always know enough to be able to take the next step ... and further, to do it safely.

Then, it is a matter of creating the way by taking one step after another and doing what we are moved to do along the way. I am not building a house that requires a blueprint. However, I am creating a path, and documenting or making a map of that path. Ultimately this will allow others to follow ... to reach where I have been and venture out further, wherever there own inner guidance takes them. Someone said something to the effect: "If I have seen further than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants." This is definitely true for me, more so in the early years of this expression than now. Of late, I take in very little input from the world, preferring to see where consciousness would lead me on my own. Are the musings cohesive enough to serve as a basis for others to read and to follow?

I still don't know how all of this can come through as it does. Even after close to a decade. But, we don't have to understand something to be competent in doing it. Sometimes, we just have to do it, and allow our natural competence to shine forth.

When I think about it, I don't know how I do most of what I do ... especially the things that I do well. They are just natural. The experiences of my life lead to either the development of innate skills or to the unleashing of talents that were already there. I don't know how I see, or how I sense, or even how I know things. I use the words sense and know a lot. However, sense does not correspond to the standard definition of experiencing through the five senses. It is more of an intuitive sense, an inner feeling. As to knowing things, that is mysterious as well. Typically, what I know is not limited to what reason tells me. In fact, it may not involve reason at all. Yet, knowing is different from sensing. This is not the knowing that many speak of. This is not the knowing of the mind, the knowing that has the knowledge of the world as its basis. This is the knowing of the soul, the knowing of spirit.

Both religion and science come from entirely different worldviews. They are neither wrong nor right. Both are realms in which beliefs and dogmas operate. Each could learn something from the other. Spirituality operates in a whole other realm. It accepts the good that religion and science have to offer, but is more concerned with the basic principles of how consciousness operates and how spirit expresses in the world. Both religion and science have part of the answer. Metaphysics seems to have even more. At least I've found it to offer a more open and inclusive framework on which to base ones life. Yes, I know, a great majority of the population doesn't see it this way. That is irrelevant, however. If something is true, it is true. It matters not how many people believe it or even more important, know it. I'm the first to admit that some "metaphysicians" are flakes and airheads. They dabble in the occult sciences in the same way that many dabble in religion. That doesn't mean that there isn't some truth to be found in these disciplines, just as one can usually find great spiritual truths at the core of many religions.

We are moving into a new age. A new age demands new ways of doing things, new ways of knowing things. In particular, the ways that will work in the new age are intuitive ones. Isn't it curious that the intuition is so heavily involved in most metaphysical pursuits? There is a reason for this. The new ways that we need for the new age are already here. They have already been developed. All that it takes is the proper training to spread these skills across the population ... or across enough of the population to change the world. Actually, that is not quite correct. The disciplines required are only in their infancy. To advance them to where they need to be, we need to apply the proper resources to turn them into true sciences. However, their very nature is such that repeatability is a problem. Many of these disciplines deal with an intuitive reading of what a combination of energies or symbols means. The intuitive nature of the reading is the very element that tailors the reading to the individual.

What makes me believe as I do? There is no person that has served as a role model in my life. Most of what I know had nothing to do with anything that I learned in school. That says a lot about me. It also speaks volumes about the education system. At least there were metaphysical books that I was moved to find and to read from the time I was 14. Had I been born even a decade earlier, my life could have been far different. I'm sure I would have found my way to metaphysics. But, Seth would not have become part of my life until far later. Further, the energies would have been different. I chose my date and time of birth, with some assistance from my parents, of course. To some degree, we all do this. It is not a matter of chance. Rather, it is one of fate ... a fate that we create for ourselves.

24 January 2003

For now, I'll continue to do what I am moved to do ... expressing whatever comes to mind. I trust that whatever message that is meant to be conveyed is somehow being conveyed. Isn't it my job as a writer to ensure that such is the case? My sense is no, my job is to capture this expression in words and make it available to others. That is what I do here. Yet, it seems that I have other obligations as well. As the creator of this expression, it is my obligation to feed it, to care for it, to nurture it, to facilitate its growth ... and to assist in getting it into the mind and hearts of those meant to hear it.

This is the testament of my life. This is my spiritual manifesto. Here, I share whom that I am as freely as I can. It is my desire that this serve as an example of the degree and depth of sharing that I would like to see happen in the world ... in my world anyway. I can only demonstrate by example. It is not enough to say something, we really need to show others what we are talking about via our actions. Yet, actions follow beliefs. Ultimately, it is what we believe that is manifest in our lives.

I wonder just how different we really are. My sense is that we might be shocked by this. With all our talk of equality, we need to make sure we don't equate being equal with being the same. We are all different, with extremes being very different. That is OK. Variety is good. Differences are good. We just need to find ways to make beneficial use of the differences. In society, it seems we suffer by trying too hard to put round pegs in square holes. It would be far better to assess the shape of each person and then try to place them in the right place within society. That place would be one where their unique gifts and skills are of the most benefit to society ... or at least are of value to society. We don't want to get stuck in optimization loops of having to find the best fit for everyone. At some point, the fit is good enough and any adaptations can be made from there.

How do we categorize individuals to know what their abilities and talents are? Astrology, numerology, auras, psychological and personality tests, self inventories and assessments, enneagram, ... and any number of other ways will do. It is not for us to use one way, but rather to use all or any combinations of them that are useful for whatever we are attempting to do. Yes, many of these are occult ways that do not stand up to scientific scrutiny. However, we are dealing with subjective reality of conscious entities here, not objective reality ... so science is not really relevant. We need to be pragmatic here. We need to try things and use utility as our measure for judging them. We will find that some things are far more useful than we thought possible. We may also find that some things are far less useful than we may have thought. Further, we need different ways to deal with different types of people. There are many types of intelligence, few of which are measured by IQ tests. That doesn't mean that such tests are not valid, just that they are meaningful only to the people who possess the types of intelligence that they test.

If we don't know what our talents and abilities are, how can we hope to find employment that would bring out the best in us by requiring us to use these talents and abilities? Collectively, we need to do a far better job of matching resources to tasks. The result of failing to do this is incredible waste and inefficiency. This we can fix. However, it requires a social contract. We need a commitment among the members of society that ensures that each individual and family is taken care of. This does not come for free. Contracts are two sided. They explain what we are expected to give in return for what we expect to get. For the social contract, this is easy ... we give what we can by using our abilities to serve society in some way, most likely for a prescribed period of time each week. In return, we get what we need. Communism states this most simply:

From each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs.

Yes, it is that simple. Yet, we have not seen this implemented in our world to date, as far as I know anyway. For one thing, this demands full employment. For another, it demands assessing the abilities of individuals and finding where they might be used to serve the community. Further, this requires assessing the needs of individuals, and doing what it takes to meet those needs. These needs may be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. As a society, we need to establish a social infrastructure that addresses all four areas. You may say "it can't be done". I beg to differ. We can do whatever we choose to do. It is a matter of applying our best and brightest and employing the necessary resources to do it. We tend to do whatever we set our minds and our hearts on. Resources are everything. We've already identified where some of these resources might come from. A tithe of four hours per week from everyone (10% of a 40 hour work week) x 200 million yields a 20 million person level of effort. If we can find a way to organize this labor effectively, we will be amazed by what can be accomplished. Four hours per week in service to society is not much to ask, especially when we see the return side of the contract take place.

We need to keep people challenged, not overwhelmed, but challenged enough to keep them improving, to keep them becoming more and more of whom that they are. This seems to be an organizational nightmare ... channeling the equivalent of 20 million people working full time. Actually, it could be more than this because if done right, this should be something people love to do, hence they should be more effective than in their normal jobs. It doesn't have to be a nightmare. It is not even clear that it needs to be consciously organized. Perhaps in pockets, here and there, but, overall the expression could be open and free. Though, we need to find ways for people to see the needs that require their abilities ... and then fill the needs as best they can. Some people are good at seeing the needs. We need ways for them to make available what they see into a database of sorts so that the people with the right skills can be tasked to fill the needs. We need evaluation services to help people find out what they are good at and then training to develop their skills and talents so that they can serve optimally. We need mentors, teachers, and guides. We need ways to share of whom that we are.

We know what is lacking. We know what is not working. We may not want to admit it. We may fear what some of the alternatives might be. The bottom line is that some of the fundamental foundations of society are cracked badly and may be ready to topple shortly. Recognizing this, we have an obligation to use our power of free will to do something about it or to do nothing and allow the foundations to come crashing down. I, for one, cannot sit back and do nothing. At the very least, I choose to come here and express, in hopes of reaching kindred spirits who feel and know the same things. It will take cooperation, working closely together for us to make a difference of the scale and order of magnitude required. Yet, we know that this is part of what we came to do. In fact, our very happiness is tied to carrying out what we know to be our mission ... even if we cannot explicitly state what that mission is. There is something inside of us that knows when we are on mission, doing what we are meant to do. There is hope. If we liken souls to pieces of the puzzle that is spirit, the one, then we can conclude that at some level each soul, each piece, knows what its relationships are to all of the other parts that it touches. We don't have to discover what this is. We simply have to develop an infrastructure that allows it to manifest, that allows the pieces to connect and enter into cooperative interdependent relationships. Hmm ... easier said than done. Or, maybe, easier done than said. We are spirit expressing in flesh already. At some level we know where we are going and exactly what it takes to get us there.

There is a sense that there are already prototypes for many of the organizational structures that need to exist. Though, we may need to be creative and apply these structures in new ways in different domains. Further, there is some portion of the population already giving their fair share, their tithe, to the community. Some are giving far more effort than this. I have no way of knowing how many are in this category. I won't even bother to guess. However, it is far lower than a majority. So, there is room for much improvement. There are people who like to organize. There are people who like to lead. There are people who like to be part of a group. There are people who work best by themselves. There are people who are objective and rational. There are people who are subjective and perhaps irrational. That is only a small sampling of some of the categories of people. We need to know such things so that we can select the right combinations of people for teams. Many problems are so complex that it takes teams of people to address them, sometimes large teams. Still other problems can be addressed by a single individual. We need ways to identify, collect, and broadcast problems or work packages so that teams or individuals can select and apply for what they want to work on. If you are a worrier, you might think that the work packages would never match the work force. However, I'm an optimist. Further, I believe in the spiritual order of the universe. Where there is a talent, there is a need for that talent.

25 January 2003

We have the technology. Even more important we have the ideals, the ideas, and the principles to build a better world for all of us. The question is ... will we choose to do so? For one thing, it may require shifts in the power base of the world. Not only in the political power base but the economic one. Further, we live in an information age. Actually, the shift to this age is recent, and it still only touches a small fraction of the world’s population. Yet, that is a start. The newness of this all makes it an open frontier. We are only catching glimpses of what we can do on a worldwide basis when we freely share information. We will be astonished by what we are capable of when we cooperate on grand endeavors. Changing the world is everyone’s business; it is everyone’s job. However, the specific roles that each of us have to play will be different. It is for each of us to find our place and do as we are moved to do to the best of our abilities. This is always within our power to do. It is a matter of choice, not chance. But, you say, I am only one person ... how can I change the world? I would answer, you are more powerful than you know. Change always starts with one person, or with a small group. When you change who you are, when you change what you do, your world can't help but to be impacted.

We are here to make a difference ... each and every one of us. Some may have greater roles or lesser roles corresponding to their abilities and the specific parts they came to play. But, each, ultimately has a role tailored to them. We are all unique individuals. It only makes sense that spirit would bring out and use those things that make us unique. This is true for all of us, not just in this country but throughout the world. We have many living in dire circumstances. At what point do we collectively take responsibility and do what it takes to fix this? Further, how do we go about doing such?

We have a United Nations, but it does not seem to be promoting equality among nations. There are developed, developing, and undeveloped nations. Do we continue to leave the fate of each nation to its own choices and actions ... or do we collectively find ways to help all nations to evolve to what they can be? This doesn't mean to bring each nation to the "developed" standard of living. It is not clear that there are sufficient resources on Earth for that. However, there are ways for each nation to improve, though this may require active help from fellow nations. We need to start thinking as a United World. It is not clear that retaining status as independent nations serves us in the long run. We are all interdependent. This is true for our economies, and to some degree our governments. It is time that we cooperated far more than we ever have before.

If I don't feel a responsibility to my neighbors, many of whom I don't even know, then how am I to feel a responsibility to someone in some undeveloped country whose country I don't even know exists? We are all connected. What happens to any of us, happens to all of us. It doesn't matter whether we know those to whom we are connected. The connections exist nonetheless. It is for us to honor the obligations that we feel. When we start to explore this area of our lives, we will find that we are more connected than we ever knew or believed possible. If we rely on our intuition, it will naturally move us in a manner to allow us to honor our obligations. We don't have to know everything. We don't have to keep up with the news or current events. What we need to know will be brought into our awareness somehow. Further, we will be moved to do what we must to meet our obligations. We simply have to allow this to occur naturally. What is ours to do may challenge us, it may be beyond what we believe that we are capable of. However, trust that spirit knows us even better than we know ourselves, and she has no reason to set us up to fail. That does not mean we will always succeed in the endeavors that we believe we are doing. However, we will not fail to do what it is that we can do. We will make the difference that we are meant to make. This is our fate. Though, it does require our cooperation as well.

This is a grand and glorious endeavor that we are participating in. It will enable others to break the bonds of their minds, and experience consciousness firsthand. Thus far, it is a record of my travels in consciousness. At some point, it will be far more than that. Cooperative endeavors are on the immediate horizon. And these have the potential to be far grander than anything that we have seen thus far.

This expression is magical to me. It is a mystery in the manner that it comes forth. How I can speak of things that I have no right to know based on my education to date is amazing. We definitely possess a knowledge that is far greater than what we have learned in our present incarnation. That is the only conclusion I can draw based on what I experience coming forth. The bottom line is that I know very little about how my mind functions ... and even less about how spirit does what she does.

I came to do a job, to accomplish a mission. If it were not for this, I would not have chosen to incarnate. That is not true for everyone necessarily. Many simply enjoy being physical. We continue to incarnate so long as we have something to learn or something to do, or both. One of the things I came to do, is to bring forth this expression. I know that because of how it feels when I am doing it. There is a sense of completion, of honoring my obligations in some way. I will continue to express in this manner so long as I am moved to do it. After that, we will move onto whatever form of expression is next.

Step by step, our lives unfold. With each step, the next one becomes clearer. At least, that is how it is for me. Some seem to operate quite differently. They see things from a larger perspective and plan the steps to get them to some destination. It is not clear that I will ever operate in such a mode. Though, that may be based too much on what I have seen to date in my life. At any moment, that could change. The future does not have to follow the past. We can make choices in the present that alter the past and create the future. This is within our power to do at anytime. We are free to remove our shackles whenever we wish. Though, this is difficult if we view our shackles as wings.

It still amazes me that this expression can come forth day after day in this manner. One might think that I would run out of things to say. But, that doesn't seem to be the case. In fact, it seems that the more that I express, the more that there is to express. The very act of expression creates a vacuum that draws forth more. Yes, I have tapped a well. And, it is not clear that it will ever run dry. Then again, it might ... forcing me to find another well to tap. Interesting. It seems there are deposits of spirit everywhere. It is just a matter of finding them. The most productive place to look is inside ourselves. That is where the greatest treasure we could ever hope to find is hid awaiting our discovery. Further, the game is stacked in our favor. We are meant to find whatever we seek. It is a matter of seeking those things that ultimately matter. This is a choice that we must make. It doesn't happen automatically, unless we allow it to and expect it to.

How can I know of what I speak? I don't know how, I just know. The words just come forth, and ring true somehow. As far back as I can remember, I have had this gift of knowing what is true for me. It is not an intellectual knowing, it is a spiritual knowing springing more from the heart than from the head ... and yet coming from someplace beyond either of these two. I consider this to be one of my greatest gifts. It has served me well through over 30 years of metaphysical study. In fact, it is what got me here, to this place where I can speak in this manner. This is not something I developed. It is something I was born with ... or, a spiritual inheritance that came to me early in life anyway.

Ye shall know them by their works. I don't know who said that, but it is true to a large extent. Here, you get to walk where my consciousness has been. In doing so, your consciousness is tuned to whom that I am in a manner that is not possible any other way. Yet, how does that benefit you. Is where my consciousness has been worthy of being followed? My sense is yes. If it were not the case, it seems that I would not be moved to capture this stream of consciousness in this manner.

26 January 2003

This expression is the cornerstone of my life now. It is upon this rock that I build the foundations for my world ... and perhaps for a greater world that stretches beyond me. There is a sense that what will be will be. Destiny is definitely playing out her hand not only in my life, but on the world stage as well. We are all actors on this stage. It is high time we realized this and truly got into our roles.

There is much to do. Yet, it seems that few are aware enough to know it. That can change quickly. The mass media offers the means to reach and influence many far more rapidly than we have ever been able to do before. However, this would require that someone in control realize that something needs to be done. There is a sense that the most creative among us are already realizing this ... and as a result, their works are being designed to move us spiritually. That is good. That is exactly what we need at this time. If there is any area that is truly lacking in our expression, it is the spiritual. For most, this has been the domain of religion for centuries, if not millennia ... and little has changed in that time. This needs to be re-examined. Spirituality is the pole that holds up the tent of the self. Without it, we are effectively nothing. With it we can do all things, we are effectively unlimited. Do religions teach us this? Perhaps some, but clearly not many. Spirituality should empower us to be all the we can be and to do all that we are meant to do.

Each day brings us one step closer to our destiny, to assuming our rightful role in the scheme of things. Actually, to some degree, at each point in our lives we are doing exactly what we need to do. That doesn't mean that we have to be satisfied with the status quo. Desire for change is a very good thing. It motivates us to do what is necessary to achieve the desired change. It is not important that we know what that is. Rather, we need to be open to what we are moved to do by the very nature of whom that we are. This is not necessarily whom that we have been. It is within our power to recreate whom that we are at any moment. We do this through beliefs, and through actions consistent with those beliefs. It helps if we recreate ever grander versions of ourselves, for we are grand beings all, grander than we could ever imagine. In front of us lie infinite possibilities. It is for us to turn them into probabilities, and then into actualities in our lives. This is always within our power. We are meant to actualize whom that we are. The very forces of nature cooperate with us in this endeavor, if only we allow them to.

We often do not think in such terms ... that there is a benign universe supporting us in all that we do. But, indeed there is, no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in. It is time that we realize whom that we are, and our relationship to All That Is. We are important, each and every one of us. Each of us has the power to make a difference, and a great difference at that ... to our family, our friends, our society, and even our world. Yes, we are that powerful. But, it is what we do that makes the difference. We can think wonderful things, but unless we take the next step and act on them, the opportunity for impact has been lost. That is not to say thoughts do not have their place. Thoughts turned into beliefs are indeed very powerful. But, in the end, it is the actions we take that make things so in our world. Besides, that is what turns a thought into a belief anyway ... the willingness to act in accord with. Until we are willing to act, we are just paying lip service to the thoughts.

Believe firmly whatsoever you will believe. The strength of the belief provides the impetus to make things happen in our lives. But then, we must be willing to do what we are moved to do. The saying actions speak louder than words comes to mind. This is indeed the case.

What determines how much gets expressed and when? It doesn't seem like it is me. Yet, to some degree it must be the states that I'm in and the energies that are around me. 2002 and 2003 are clearly meant to be banner years. At least the beginning of 2003. We have no means of knowing at this point how long it will last. However, it is very important that I run with it and express as fully as I can for however long it lasts. That is why I volunteer so much time to this endeavor. This is something that I must find time for. The sense is that what comes forth here cannot come forth in this particular manner in any other way. It takes my unique consciousness and my specific level of awareness to serve as the vessel for this expression. Yes, that says a lot about me. But, it says even more about consciousness. After all, it is her that I serve. None of this would be possible without her. Though, it seems, we could say the same thing about me. Yes, I can get grandiose at times. But, this expression is a lot to deal with.

We attract experiences in accord with our beliefs and in accord with what we need to learn. What we most need to learn are the things of spirit. Yes, there are other things that count. But, the spiritual things are the things that count most. Here is where our true treasure lies. However, it takes focus and dedication to find it. We will be amazed with whom that we truly are. We surely will. Our souls, our spiritual selves, are grander and wiser than we have ever imagined. Even for those of us who already hold grandiose visions of ourselves.

27 January 2003

The most important choice to make is to be whom that we truly are. That one choice makes all the difference in the world. That one choice opens up untold possibilities. This is how we maximize our effect on the world. It is that simple, be whom that we are ... and express that faithfully.

Education should challenge us, not overwhelm us. It should bring out the best in us. Further, it should continue to do this so long as we live. The day that we stop learning, we are as good as dead. Yes, learning is that important to life.

Yes, that should be the goal of everyone ... to be all that they can be. To facilitate this, society must establish the necessary foundation that encourage, promote, and enable individuals to achieve this. Society wins big when individuals are able to express whom that they are in this manner. We can't afford to waste the abilities and talents of any of us. This requires a big commitment from each of us. We have to take responsibility not only for ourselves but for assisting others to excel where we can as well. It is not enough to simply do our jobs. We must find ways to excel, ways that challenge us to apply everything that we are to achieve great things. Yes, great things. We all have the potential to achieve greatness in some area. It is up to us, with the help of society, to find what that is for us ... then to develop and achieve that potential.

We have much to be grateful for in this country. Unfortunately, the abundance we experience here, is not shared very fairly with our fellow beings in other countries. Part of this is because we still see ourselves as separate. We see ourselves as competing in a resource-constrained world. Yet, we live in an abundant world, or what could be an abundant world if only we cooperated to make it so. The developed nations, however, don't see what's in it for them to cooperate. The status quo gives developed nations far more than their fair share economically. However, the developed nations also have the might that makes their position right ... regardless of how fair or unfair it may be. In the end, we will reap what we sow as a nation. When we take advantage of another nation, politically or economically, the action is recorded on a national karmic record of sorts. In the end, we will have to balance our accounts. That is simply the way it is. We balance our accounts by acts of kindness and acts of service.

Most countries believe the land within their borders and all that lies beneath it are theirs, that they are free to do with it what they will. However, the world is a small place, becoming smaller and smaller all the time. When the population was much less spread out and much less dense ... what one country did had limited impact on countries around it. This is no longer the case. There are ecological interdependencies. There is a fragile balance that nature has maintained that we are in danger of uprooting. Nature herself will not come to the rescue. She will not do what we can do for ourselves. However, she will allow the ramifications of our actions and inactions to fall where they may. There is, for instance, a sense that the human population is far more than is sustainable. It is as if we have surpassed the limits to growth and a correction is in order. How such a correction might manifest ... by natural disaster, by disease, by hunger, by war ... all of these are possibilities. Would we as a world do what it takes to stop this? My sense is no. There are billions of people living in poverty on this planet. I am not aware of any massive efforts to correct this. Perhaps people feel this is just too big of a problem to address. Further, one might ask why it is my responsibility. God helps those who help themselves. But what about those who cannot help themselves? Don't we need some way to help them as well? And how does god do the helping anyway except through us and with our hands?

I have said before that spirit is a slave driver. But it seems that I am truly the one with the reigns. I decide how much or how little time to invest each day. But then, some might consider me a man possessed or obsessed. And, perhaps they would be right. Yet, if material such as this can come forth from one so afflicted, then perhaps we should all be so afflicted. It would make the world a much better place. We collectively have the power to change our world for the better, to create a utopia on earth. But, it will only happen if we believe it, and if we choose to make it so.

Our spiritual destiny will indeed play itself out. As actors in the play, we have roles in carrying out this destiny. As we come to know ourselves, we will come to know our destinies.

My hope is that each days material will at least have one new thing worthy of being quoted. It seems that I am succeeding here, that the material expressed is just as full of quotable expressions as was the material last year.

What allows us to come forth with such golden nuggets of wisdom? I truly do not know. I only know that it happens ... I experience it happening nearly everyday. The source however is spirit herself, or at least a part of me of which I am not consciously aware. I am privileged to be able to serve spirit in this manner. I can't think of a more important thing to be doing with my life. I do not intend to have children in this existence. The closest that I come is three furry kids who I love dearly. My other children are the things created through my mind. This expression is the primary thing in this category. My works are my children. They are the things that I invest my time and energy in. They are, in a very real way, my legacy ... the legacy that I leave to the world.

Yet, there is something that says this is not enough. There is more that I can do, there is more that I must do. This is not imposed on me from the outside. Rather, it is imposed from within, and because of this I cannot help but to do it. It is as if I cannot find peace, I cannot find rest, until I get it done. This is what my life is all about, doing what spirit would have me do, whatever that would be. Yes, this requires a great deal of trust, but spirit is worthy of all the trust that we can give to her. When we do the work of spirit, we are strong in ways that we are not otherwise. It is amazing what we can do when we are serving spirit, and thus serving the world.

28 January 2003

It is amazing what happens when one chooses to consciously live a life of spirit. There is something magical that is engaged. There is something that cooperates with us to allow us to do more than we could do otherwise. This unknown, this unseen becomes present by its effects in our lives. Spirit herself is able to work her wonders through us, allowing her to touch all those whom we touch.

No regrets. It is important to live our lives so that we have no regrets. That doesn't mean that we will have everything that we want to have or do everything that we want to do. We may or we may not. However, it does mean that we are grateful for our experiences ... whatsoever they may be. If we don't like our experience it is up to us to take responsibility and do what it takes to change it.

We create our reality via our beliefs. It is up to us to make a masterpiece of our belief systems. In doing so, we will also make a masterpiece of our lives. Yes, that is the goal. We are artists all. Our most important work is our own reality, our own life. How many know that this is completely our responsibility to mold and to shape as we will?

When we focus on service, on what we can do to serve others, society, and our world ... we engage the greatest parts of ourselves. We may not know exactly what we are doing, but there is a surety in our step. We are personally guided by spirit. Or, we can be if we are open to being so. Our lives become purposeful, in ways that they have not before.

We need to operate in a WIN-WIN manner wherever we can. There is always a way to do this. Then again, I'm sure there are others who can think of scenarios where this might not be so. Those simply are not a part of my world so they don't even come to mind for me.

Yes, my reality is quite isolated. Some might think that I live in a fairy-tale world, a utopia that can never exist on Earth. But, I beg to differ. The world is what we make of it. It is fashioned by our hands and by our minds ... in particular by our beliefs and by our actions. We can literally make it into anything that we desire it to be. Collectively we are that powerful. Individually we are that powerful. We are the creators of our reality ... the masters of our fate. We are the lords of our lives. What we desire sincerely, we find a way to create and to experience. Through our beliefs, we draw to us the circumstances that either confirm our beliefs or challenge them.

We are only allowed to operate in error so long. At some point, we are moved to find a better truth. Better is always measured in terms of utility. What works better is better ... that is, until something better still comes along to replace it.

I have done in a decade more than many do in a lifetime. Perhaps even more in a year than most do. But, my output is not to be compared to most. The only measure of value is what we do versus what we could have done. Did we do all that we could do? Were we being all that we could be? What was the actual versus what was the potential?

What do I truly know and how do I know it? Those are excellent questions to ask. But, we need to make a distinction between what we believe versus what we know. What we believe may or may not be true, but we choose to believe it because it serves us in some way. It makes our life easier or better in some manner. What we know comes from a deeper part of ourselves, our very soul. We don't choose to know it ... we just know. There is no doubt as to whether it is true or not. Yet, are there not times when this knowingness is wrong? Perhaps, but it seems that when this happens, we have confused believing with knowing. My sense is that the knowing is never wrong. Also, knowing is timeless. This doesn't mean that we can't read the signs around us in the wrong way. This is especially troublesome where we have an interest in the outcome.

In general, it is best to leave outcomes to spirit. That doesn't mean that we can't do things with the objective of achieving an outcome. However, we need to be careful to allow something better for the good of all concerned to happen. Often, we see only part of the picture ... and for many, only a small part. Spirit has the whole in mind and can optimize effort for the good of the whole if we submit to her reign and choose to allow her to express through us. The sooner we choose to do this the better for everyone.

People must be given a spiritual manifesto ... a set of ideas on which they can base their spiritual identity. The latest Conversations With God book by Neale Donald Walsch does this as well as anything I've encountered recently. Some of the ideas at the Beyond Imagination site do this as well. The spiritual manifesto should explain what we collectively want to manifest spiritually. Since nearly all of our problems are spiritual problems, this will go a long way towards fixing many of the things that are wrong. We need to decide what we want to be as a society, and as human beings. And then, we need to make our beliefs and our actions consistent with getting us there. It is our choice. It is up to us.

Where do we record collective decisions, especially ones that affect the world? There is something that knows our every thought, our every belief, our every action. These are known to consciousness directly. And, this consciousness is ONE consciousness that animates us all. So, there is a collective place that is omniscient, and is omnipotent in that it has the power to move any part to act in a particular way to accomplish its objectives. Just look at our experiences in life. How many times have we been moved to do things for which we had no reason as to why? It is not that we are out of control. It is simply that much of the control is exerted via other than conscious means. There is nothing wrong with this. There is a reason the mind is split into subconscious, conscious, and superconscious parts. Each of these organizations has its functions and its purposes. Though, if we were to look for actual boundaries, we would find these divisions to be arbitrary.

29 January 2003

I do expect everyone to contribute at least a tithe of their working time. That should be the minimum acceptable contribution to society demanded of everyone. If we are going to partake of the benefits of society, we need to be willing to invest some part of ourselves in that society. We do this by contributing of our time and our talents. We all have something that we can do that could benefit others ... something special that allows whom that we are to be expressed. This benefits not only the recipients but those who give of themselves in this manner as well.

The Beyond Imagination quote for today is: As citizens, we owe something to our fellow citizens. It is curious, that is exactly what this tithe is all about. It deals with how we fulfill our obligation to others. We are meant to share of whom that we are with society, with the world in some way. It is for us to find out what ways work best for us and then to engage them ... preferable often.

Each day we make choices about what we do, about where we apply our focus and our resources. It is important that we do something that reaches out to impact others. When we make a habit of doing so, it will enrich our lives greatly. There is much to be gained by the sharing of whom that we are. Yes, I'm one to talk, living such an isolated life. Yet, I do choose to express here in this manner. So, ultimately, much that I do becomes part of the common domain if you will. It is freely expressed, and freely available. Though, it does take some searching to find.

The idea of packaging some of the material into a book and going the traditional publishing route comes to mind. But, that grates with the idea of open and free communications. Yet, I do need an income sufficient to sustain a lifestyle and particular standard of living. I should be able to generate this income by doing what I love to do.

How do I do what I love and get the money that I need to follow? Yes, that is the abundance question. That is the secret to living a life of purpose, a life that truly makes a difference.

I must make a difference on a major scale. I simply must. Nothing else is acceptable to me. My abilities are such that I know that I am meant to accomplish great things. The sense is that I have not even begun to live up to this. Though, each day I get closer. It continues to be important to come here and capture this stream of consciousness.

There is something about creating this physical record that is important somehow ... highly important. At the very least, it is important for me and my development as a spiritual being. Here I am able to unveil and express more and more of whom that I am. The uncertainty of it all makes it exciting. There is something about dealing with the unknown that is intoxicating to me. I don't consume alcohol or drugs, with the exception of my medications. But, this expression is able to take me to the high vistas of the spiritual realm. There is nothing else like it that I know of.

There are depths to the self, to the soul that may never be fathomed no matter how hard or how long we try. It seems that there are just some things that are meant to remain a mystery.

There is nothing wrong with that. This is what gives life much of its fascination. We are ever challenged to become more of whom that we truly are and to express this in our lives to the greatest degree that we can. In fact, this is the supreme challenge of our life: to be all that we can be. But, we can't do this if we don't have a solid concept and awareness of whom that we are. That is the key, awareness is everything. Yet, what is awareness? How do we become more and more aware? How do we make quantum leaps in what we are aware of ourselves to be?

My sense is that such events are timed to happen when we are somehow ready for them to occur. Self work and self knowledge are two things that seem to make us ready. But, the hand of fate is at play as well. It is as if we have a spiritual inheritance of some type ... perhaps earned by what we have done in other existences. At some point in our life, we come into this inheritance. At that point, we know more than our experiences in this life can account for. However, there is also a sense that we must use it or lose it. The inheritance gives us the opportunity to do something more with our life ... to be part of the drama of the unfoldment of the expression of spirit in flesh. What we do with this is up to us.

There is nothing that we have to do. There is nothing forcing us to be a certain way or to make particular choices. We have free will. It is all up to us. Though, our lives seen to work better if we cooperate and go with the flow. It seems only natural to me to have a strong desire to be the best we can be, and to serve spirit and others in our world as best we can. If we all did such, the world would be transformed for the better in a heartbeat. In fact, the difference would be as drastic as that between night and day. We live a spiritual life in a spiritual world now. We are only talking about doing this more consciously and more wholeheartedly or should we say whole-personly.

It still amazes me that I can speak as I do, with such an inner sense of authority. Perhaps what allows this is that I know it is not solely me that expresses here. Spirit herself has a hand in this. Together, we enter into a cooperative interdependent relationship that allows this to come forth as it does. At times spirit seems more involved than at other times. I'm the first to admit to grandiosity at times. But, how else am I to interpret what happens here? Clearly, there is a special relationship with self that is revealed. But also, there is a special relationship with spirit.

I am Wayne, and I express in a manner that is suitable for me. However, I am open to change, if it serves spirit or my world for me to express differently. We need to be careful about becoming too set in our ways. Flexibility is a very good thing ... flexibility of body, of mind, of emotions, and of spirit. We don't necessarily need to have all to function effectively, but it doesn't hurt. Engaging all of these areas takes considerable time. Depending on what we are here to do, some areas are more important than others. For me, flexibility of mind and spirit are clearly important. I tend to emphasize them to the detriment of the other areas at times. Perhaps I emphasize them too much for my own good. Then again, I can only judge this by the productivity in the areas of my life that I truly care about. By that criteria, I am doing quite well, if I have to say so myself. And, operating primarily as a hermit ... who else is there to say anything? Even if someone were to say something, it is not clear how much importance I would place on what they have to say. I refuse to be judged, except by myself. And even then, I try to be very lenient.

I can only be whom that I AM. But, I say that not out of any sense of limitations but with an understanding of the grand possibilities that this invokes.

We are spiritual beings. As such, at the very least we are eternal, immortal, all-knowing, and unlimited. When we see ourselves as other than these things, what we are seeing is illusion ... not whom that we truly are. For many, this may seem to be highly suspect. Death is all around us. There are many things that we don't know, some of which even seem to be unknowable. Further, everywhere around us and even inside of us we are confronted with limits of a variety of types. Some of these seem to be insurmountable. And, they may be so to us, but they are never so to spirit. The key is to realize that we are spirit first and foremost. The illusions of death, lack of knowingness, and limitations are just that ... illusions. Oh, they feel very real while we are experiencing them. But how something feels is not the same as how something is.

To a large degree, we control how something feels by our beliefs and by our choices as to how we assign meaning to what we experience. Most do not realize that we actually choose what meaning to apply to things. For most experiences, there is no innate meaning. In particular, there is no objective meaning. Our reality is a subjective experience. It has always been and always will be. That doesn't mean that objective thinking doesn't have its utility. Virtually all of our technology is based on it. However, technology may be good or bad depending on how we choose to employ it. When we focus so much effort on military technology, we run the risk that it will get into the wrong hands and be used against us in ways that we might not have envisioned. That is one of the problems with technology. When you open the Pandora's box, there is no telling what you will unleash. It is high time that we chose to invest in more beneficial technologies. We have no real science of mind at the present time. Yet, these lumps of gray matter that reside in our skulls may be some of the most powerful things on the planet. They have taken eons to evolve and to become aware to the degree that they have. And, now, we seem to be standing on the edge of a major breakpoint ... one in which the awareness of the mass consciousness experiences a radical discontinuity, one that rocks the very foundations of the world that we know.

Yes, that is what it is all about ... expressing spirit in flesh to the greatest degree that we can given whom that we are in each moment. Each and every moment counts. Not one moment is repeated. Once gone, it is gone. However, from another framework, time is an illusion. There is always sufficient time to do the things that need to be done. That doesn't mean there is excessive time. That also doesn't mean that we can be lazy about things. We need to get on with it, and do those things that are ours to do. And, if we don't know what those are, we need to start doing the self work necessary to find out. This doesn't have to be hard. There is a sort of spiritual gravity that operates to try to get us to where we need to be to actualize and then to act out our roles in the play of consciousness. Yes, we are all part of the play of consciousness. This play has been in operation since the beginning of time, orchestrating things so that forms evolved that could house ever-increasing constructs of spirit in flesh. Dolphins seem to be comparable sentient beings with nearly equivalent sizes of brains to humans. Their social structures are different. Their relationship with their environment is far more direct and far less destructive. They have a language and seem to enjoy their lives. However, we have no way to know what their mental or spiritual life consists of. That doesn't mean they don't have them. In fact, they may even be rich. We just don't know.

I'm not one to conduct much research on any issue. The key exception being metaphysics. But, even there, I read many books but I did not study these books. It wasn't like my training in mathematics and engineering. It was far more cursory. The underlying goal seemed to be to get a comprehensive big picture perspective of metaphysics in general. I purposefully stayed away from philosophy, with the exception of Plato ... finding it far too deep for my taste. Not surprising, given my eventual beyond mind experience. Philosophy still tries to be objective and gets buried in heaps of deep thought. It is not thought that gets us to awareness. And, ultimately it is awareness that is the goal, not thought, no matter how deep or how refined. Then what is this expression about? Is it not thought too? How does one distinguish between a stream of consciousness and a stream of thought? Are they not the same? That would depend on where the thoughts originate. What comes from self versus what comes from source? Consciousness is tied to the expression from source. Thought is a more local phenomena. Though it seems most do not have control over their stream of thought either. My experience in this are may be different from most. I have never had a lot of mental chatter to deal with. My mind has always been quiet much of the time. When I'm just sitting doing nothing ... my mind seems to follow suit and does the same. So, when the expression started coming forth in 1993, my mind was experiencing something new and different. Further, there was and still is no sensation that I originate any of this. Yes, it all comes forth through me. But, something greater than I know myself to be is deeply involved in creating this. There is something wonderful about creating something out of nothing in this manner. There is a power being expressed that is simply awesome.

30 January 2003

This is the record of a stream of consciousness. It is recorded in this manner because that is what I am moved to do from the depths of my being. Could I be doing something else? Perhaps, but it seems important that I do exactly what I am doing. So long as it seems so, I will continue to do it. I am making an investment here ... of my time and my self to express in this manner. For me, it is a major investment ... the biggest that I make with my free time. Yet, my sense is that it is worth every minute that I give to it. My hope is that others would benefit from this as well. Perhaps even many others. But, that may or may not happen in my lifetime. And, even if it does happen, I may or may not be made aware of it. It needs to be enough that I express as fully as I can, and that I stay true to whom that I AM in the process. What more can be asked of anyone? This is all that spirit asks of us. It seems that at times we are far too harsh with ourselves.

Life is meant to be easy overall, though that doesn't mean it will be free of challenges. Quite the contrary, it will be full of them. Challenges relieve the boredom and keep life interesting. Though, that doesn't mean that things can't flow smoothly at times ... sometimes even for extended periods.

The surest way to stay on mission is to do what we are moved by spirit to do. That means we must know when spirit is moving us, and then must do as she moves us. This requires trust and faith in spirit. That is far easier for some than for others to practice. Hmm ... yes, practice seems the appropriate word to use here. Some do not exercise the trust and faith muscles very much. Others exercise them but do so blindly without consciously knowing what they are doing or why. Actually, there is a prerequisite for this trust and faith as well. We have to believe that spirit exists and that she can touch and influence our lives directly. She doesn't force her way, but she does guide us and prod gently to try to get us to move in a particular way. For me, this is expressed more as a drive to come here and to express for as long as I am so moved. Yes, you could say that I am driven by spirit. But, this too is a choice that I make as to how to live my life. Spiritual expression is key ... it has the #1 priority in my life, by a long shot. That shouldn't surprise any who have been with me for awhile. What you see here is the expression of spirit though me in flesh. Yes, it is through the medium of words. But, that is the medium in which I am most suited to express by nature.

It is time for us, the consumers, to decide what we want for spiritual services. I believe that will be very different than what we have offered today by most religions. Actually, it is time we took some of our spiritual power back ... power that many gave to a priestcraft who they assumed knew more of such matters than they as individuals could know. We are seeing more and more people making their spirituality a personal matter. These people refuse to allow any intermediaries between themselves and spirit, or between themselves and their God. This is as it should be. Spirituality is one of the most intimate relationships that we have, the relationship between us and the source from which we spring ... the spiritual source that expresses through us. We are spirit expresses in flesh at this moment. We have always been thus, whether we knew it or not. Further, we will always be thus ... so long as we are in flesh anyway. And, when we are not in flesh, we will still be aware, and we will still be spirit ... in whatever form is right for us next. Life goes on. The collective expression of spirit in flesh grows greater and greater with each passing moment. Each of us have parts to play in that collective expression. We may not consciously know what these parts are, but we will moved to play them anyway. We may wonder why we do what we do at times, maybe even often. That does not matter. The play is being orchestrated via great cooperation on all of our parts. Much of this happens subconsciously, or other than consciously. However, it can be made more conscious if we choose to make it so.

We can only be whom that we are. We can only express that which is our nature to express. And, we will express in whatever manners are appropriate for us. There is no judgment or comparison of what we do to what others do. What matters is what we do versus what we are capable of doing. Are we living up to our potential? Are we being all that we can be, and doing all that we can do? Are we applying ourselves in service in some way so that our lives make a difference, in particular, a positive difference, to others? This is how we tell whether we are steering our lives in the right direction. It is not by how many toys we have, regardless of how much we enjoy them. What counts is what we do with our lives that has lasting value ... that makes a difference somehow, preferably a big difference. This is within our power to do. It is a matter of where we choose to focus our energies. We all have the same amount of time per year, until our last one anyway. What we do with the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years is our choice, at least for a relatively large amount of that time. Here is where free will definitely applies. How many squander away the time in pursuits that have limited value? High impact = high value. We need to strive to lead lives of high positive impact. High impact can be achieved by touching many at some level, or by touching a few deeply. My sense is that the later will be the course for my life. I just don't see this being the stuff of bestsellers. Then again, what do I know. There may be a publisher out there who thinks differently. What does the reader take away from all of this? What is to be gained by walking down this particular stream of consciousness for awhile. My greatest hope would be to facilitate awakening the connection to spirit in the reader. We do not offer any particular exercises or instruction. But, perhaps the very expression is written in such a manner as to program such a response in the reader. How it got that way is spirits doing. I am not consciously involved in choosing how this expression flows forth. I receive it as a finished product. I am not being asked to use my abilities to organize it ... unless this is happening on other than conscious levels, which it may be. That may be why I was selected as the vessel for this expression, because my abilities were such that they could be used for spirit to express in this manner. Yes, that makes me special. The analogy of a programmer of consciousness is intriguing to me. I programmed computers for a number of years, and found it enjoyable. The idea that this expression could be programming for the mind is exciting. Besides, I can't think of a more important endeavor. If we can program people to be more aware, if we can wake them up, then the potential for the expression of spirit expands exponentially if not faster. This is a breakpoint, a radical discontinuity that takes us to a whole new way of being.

We've talked about breakpoints before. The analogy of a play comes to mind. It is not necessary for the next scene to start where the previous one ended. Often, the next scene is in a different locale perhaps even at a different time. Can it be that way for the consensus reality of the world as well? Can we go to sleep one day and wake up the next day in a whole new place with a different set of rules? It is curious that I even ask the question. Does that mean it is indeed a possibility? And, even if it can't happen for the world as a whole, can it happen for individuals and small groups who might be executing smaller plays within the collective whole? Interesting questions to ponder. There is a sense that the world is far stranger than we have ever conceived of it to be. Yet, there is an order to it as well ... but it is a spiritual order, an order that may by its very nature surpass all of our understanding. Some things are meant never to be known, even though they may be experienced.

31 January 2003

Life is a process of growth and of expressing whatever we have become as faithfully as we can every step of the way.

The way is different for each of us, though our paths may cross at times, and we may share in our adventures. We decide all of this. We decide how we will live our lives. However, for the vast majority, this is not yet a conscious process ... nor is it clear that it ever will be. We don't need everyone to question everything. It is OK for most to simply enjoy and live out their lives learning what they can at whatever pace they desire.

If you are reading this, you clearly are not part of the vast majority. Consciousness has a special place in your life. You are more aware than most. And, awareness carries with it a heavy price tag, or a burden of responsibility if you will. Though, it doesn't have to be experienced as a burden at all ... we can choose to gladly bear it as our responsibility to spirit, and to others in our society and in our world. We may see it as a mantle that we wear, one that distinguishes us from others. We came to play some of the more significant roles in our time, this time of the transition from one age to another ... from Piscean principles to Aquarian ones. We may not even know fully what these are, but as wayshowers, we will be moved to demonstrate them nonetheless. It is all a matter of trusting spirit to reveal to us what we need to know and then following whatever path we are moved to take one step at a time. There is always room for one more step no matter how close to the unknown that we venture. And when we step there and shine our light there, what was unknown becomes known and we are then in a position to take the next step, again guided by spirit all the way.

We must be willing to try new things and evaluate their results to see whether they work or not. This is not an area for preconceived notions. We need to be open to allowing spirit to work her magic through us. We do this by doing what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it. That has worked well in my life to date. I have no reason to think that it will change anytime soon. Spirit has far more resources than we have ever dreamed. When we allow her to express through us ... we tap into these resources. But then, we must be careful to give credit where credit is due. Of ourselves, there is not much that we can do. Spirit has no such limits, except for those that we place in her way. It is important that we do what it takes to discover where we are doing this ... and then to remove the limits of our own accord. This is always within our power to do if we remain open to doing it. Always.

This could all be an elaborate training ground for me. There is a sense that there is no rest for the weary ... that past laurels, no matter how great, are not good enough. We must move ever onward to the next monition of consciousness, wherever it may take us. Such is my path. So long as I am alive in this existence, there will be work that I must do, that it seems that only I can do, at least in the way that I do it. There is a sense that retirement is not a state that I will ever reach. However, when one is engaged in the work that one loves, why would one even consider ceasing to do it. Yes, this presumes that we find a way to make what we love to do our work. This is possible, even in today's world. In the new age, this goes from being possible to probably and perhaps even to likely. From an individual standpoint, it is a matter of expecting it and of not being willing to settle for less. We need to believe that it can happen for us, that it will happen for us. Though, it may not happen on its own. We may have to help put the wheels in motion. We can be anything we choose to be. However, some occupations are more in line with whom that we are than others. It is for us to know ourselves enough to seek these out, and be willing to move on if things don't work out. Whatever we do, we need to be competent doing. The more competent, the better. Also, this doesn't mean that we need to stay in the same vocation forever. As our skills develop, as our interests change, as our life unfolds, we may decide there is something we would rather do. This is especially true if we grow dissatisfied with what we are doing. When it becomes not enough, it is time to find something more, something grander that challenges us and allows us to express whom that we are more fully.

I continue to type, to translate the voice in my head onto these pages. That task occupies over three hours per day of my time. It is something that I freely choose to do. And, it is the most important thing that I do with my free time. This has become somewhat of an obsession, coming here to express each day. I do it because I can. I do it because it gives my life meaning in a way that nothing else does. Ultimately, I do it because I believe it will make a difference to the world ... by people who read it being moved to more fully express whom that they are and thus allowing spirit to more fully express in flesh. However, the difference may be secondhand. The prime difference may come from what I have yet to express in my life as a result of being the recipient of all of this. I am grateful for all that I have been given in life. I feel a strong obligation to pay back spirit, and ultimately society in return for all of this. To this end, I give my life in service to spirit and to the world. However, I do this in my own way. Not that I would limit this service. Rather, I desire to maximize the beneficial impact that would result. Part of that seems to be under my control, but the greater control belongs to spirit.

Clearly, writing is one of the things that I am meant to do in my life. It comes natural to me. It is a truly a gift. There is a sense that I have been a scribe before ... perhaps in ancient Egypt. However, here I express as essentially a scribe for spirit herself, and for whatever organization of consciousness we are able to create together. To do this, I have to be receptive. There is no sense of being in control. If there is a part of me from which this is originating, I have no direct awareness of it. I only see its results as they make themselves known to my mind and through my fingers to these pages. It is OK to yield to spirit. It is not necessary for us to "be in control" all the time. In fact, it doesn't hurt to get a little crazy at times. We allow the geniuses among us great latitude in their eccentricities. Do I deserve any less? Does this expression demonstrate that I am among the select among us? Actually, it does not matter. I will be what I must be. Yes, must. It is that simple. I have chosen to live a life of spirit ... expressing spirit as fully as I can. That choice has its consequences, ones that I freely accept. I would not live an ordinary life. That might be OK for many. But, it will never be sufficient for me. I don't need pressure from the outside to do what I know must be done ... there is more than enough pressure from the inside. I expect a great deal from myself. I expect to do great things. I expect to make a major difference to the world by the way that I live my life. I would be a wayshower, demonstrating what one person can do at first ... but eventually demonstrating what many can do cooperating and working together. We are capable of wonders beyond imagination. It is simply a matter of allowing them to come forth.

Life is clearly an adventure now. For me, primarily an adventure in consciousness. Consciousness is everything to me. She gave me birth, she nurtures me, she moves me ... yes, I owe all that I AM to her. Yes, her. I have always known spirit and consciousness to be feminine in nature. I still don't know why that is. It is simply what I experience, and I have felt no need to challenge or doubt that knowingness. Yes, I am aware that others ... including the vast majority of people on the planet believe in a masculine God. That does not detract from what I experience directly. It doesn't matter to me what others experience. That is their reality, not mine. Yet, I would be a wayshower and share with others my path and my experiences. However, I do so not out of any desire to convert anyone to anything, or out of any need to have followers. I share of whom that I AM because that is how spirit expresses. It is that simple. Spirit has nothing to hide. She is what she is. She expresses through us to the degree that we allow her to. Logic does not work very well when we are dealing with spirit. She won't be contained by such a rigid and objective structure. Spirit is the epitome of subjectivity. Our experience of reality is a subjective process no matter how objective we attempt to make it.

I don't know that this expression qualifies as "personal". It is not addressed one on one to particular individuals. Yet, this is a fairly intimate portrait of whom that I am ... far more intimate than most communications get. Here you see what my soul and spirit would say through me. That seems to be something quite rare. But, my nature is such that I can give voice to such things as this ... or, at least capture the voice in written words. That doesn't make me better than anyone, it just makes me different. Differences are good. Spirit expresses with endless diversity. Yet, within that diversity lies a unity, a oneness, a wholeness that will not be separated no matter how hard we try. I have said before, there is only one spirit that animates us all. We spring forth into expression from that same ONE. Unfortunately few seem to recognize this.

What we do to any one of us, we ultimately do to all of us. That is a very powerful principle. However, we need to take the next step and realize that we have a sacred responsibility to one another ... a responsibility to care for one another and help each being to be the best that they can be.

FEBRUARY

1 February 2003

One more unknown in my life does not make much difference at this point. I have become so used to them that I expect them. I am comfortable with the unknown ... sometimes more comfortable than with the known.

Altering brain chemistry means altering how consciousness is experienced. It is that simple. Physical brain states correspond to mental states correspond to states of consciousness correspond to states of spirit. There is a one to one mapping. The brain is the vessel through which spirit can be made physical. These very words are a testament to that.

The seeds for change start with dissatisfaction with the status quo. When we are dissatisfied enough to start looking for something new, we will be amazed at how quickly we find what we seek.

Our jobs take up the largest percentage of time of any activities that we engage in other than sleep. It is crucial to our overall well being that we find work that we love to do. There is always a way if we are insistent and persistent ... not willing to settle for less. That is not to say that there are not aspects of my job that I enjoy. And, I tell myself that there are far worse ways to be employed. But, that is not enough anymore. I am tired of wasting my time and energies on things that ultimately seem to have limited value. It seems that much that I do at work is of that nature. Then again, to whom does what I do here have value? Clearly to me, and to spirit. But is that enough? The sense is that it is always enough. Whenever we are expressing as and for spirit ... it is always enough. The challenge is to find ways to do this far more often and for longer periods of time. This is an investment that we are making with our time and out energies. It is the most important investment that we can make.

Connections ... everywhere connections. How do I know which ones are important? How do I know what methods to use to find the meaning from a particular message? I trust my intuition to find the embedded meaning in any message. I continue to search so long as I am moved to do so. I trust that when my search is complete, I will know that I have found what consciousness intended for me to find. Many of the methods are not logical. Only some of my machinations are mathematically correct. That doesn't matter. It seems that intuition knows far more than our logic could ever find. Part of the reason is that intuition is about as subjective as logic is objective. They are on two very different sides of the spectrum. Though, in my experience, when we allow intuition to guide reason we can uncover whole new things. And, often, this allows us to create whole new things.

The internet is a free market arena for information. Anyone can establish a web site. Anyone can create web pages in which they are free to say or show anything that they want. There are no censors. As far as I know, there is no information that would be downright illegal ... though my awareness in this area is limited. All that I know is that for nearly a decade, I have been free to write anything I want and post it for any to see. There is a let the reader beware philosophy that is applied. I don't have to prove that what I say is true. I don't have to generate arguments backed by facts. I can simply be whom that I AM and express that as fully as I can. Over time, we can establish a rapport, and you will either find me and what I say credible or not. I ask that you evaluate what I say by its utility in your life. Does it make you a better person? Does it make your life better? Does it allow you to more fully express whom that you are? If it does, then I have done my job and have provided one of the chief services that I am here to provide. I consume my own information ... and I have definitely become a better person in the process, in particular, a more aware and more spiritual person. But, whether it does this for you, you will have to determine for yourself. I ask nothing from you except for you to be all that you can be and express that as fully as you are able. That is all that spirit asks from you as well ... to be the best that you can be. You will know when you are doing this. You will feel it deep within you. There will be a sense of fulfillment as well, and a sense that you are doing what you were born to do.

The song Wind Beneath My Wings plays as I write this. "I would be nothing without you." I feel this way about spirit. She is the wind that has allowed me to soar to great heights of consciousness. It is though her wind that all of this is able to be expressed in the manner that it is. "Thank you, thank you, thank God, the wind beneath my wings". This is particularly important to me because of how greatly I value soaring in consciousness. At least that is what I believe that I experience anyway. Not that I have anything else to compare it to. Yes, my existence has been that solitary. My primary outlet for seeing others is through TV and movies ... and we dropped our home cable many months ago, so I do without on weekends. That is OK. There is nothing important that I am missing. I still watch a few shows during the week, but with my new computer allowing me to muse in the evenings ... even this is dwindling to shows that I can watch while I exercise. I am definitely not what might be considered a media junkie. Newspapers, magazines, TV news, news talk shows, ... none of these are part of my life. I still remember being told in my teens that current events were important. I didn't believe it then. And, certainly, I don't believe it now. This is obvious from my actions.

2 February 2003

Everywhere I look, things are connected in ways that are miraculous to behold ... ways that show that there is an order and an intelligence arranging our lives that few of us even suspect.

What can I say? Spirits ways are indeed wondrous to behold. I couldn't make this stuff up even if I wanted to. I wouldn't know how. I would life a life of spirit. I would live a life of purpose. The key purpose seems to be one that has been with me since the beginnings of my quest around 1974 (age 16:The Tower). I would search for the answer to the question WHY?

This has come up before. But, it seems particularly important now. It is not clear that the musings have yet addressed why we exist. We have talked about reality creation. We have talked about the expression of spirit in flesh. We have talked about capturing a stream of consciousness. But, none of that really addresses why. Perhaps that is the next thrust for this expression ... to start addressing why reality is the way it is, why we experience the things that we do in the way that we do. Yes, we are spirit expressing in flesh here and now. However, we are subject to many self-imposed limits. It is for us to free ourselves from these so that we can more fully express whom that we are.

Yesterdays Columbia disaster is a case in point. Yes, there will be a cause that is found for it. It may take awhile, but the people whose job it is to determine such things are excellent at doing their jobs. They will find what they search for. However, they will be looking for a scientific answer. No one dies before their time. No one dies without choosing to participate in the event at some level of their being. To what disciplines do we turn to find out why it was time for these seven people on this fateful morning on the first of February in 2003? They will not be scientific ones. My sense at this point is we will not even turn to them. Yet, how else are we to learn the lesson that this event offers us? What statement was made with the lives of these seven? How do we make the world a better place as a result of their lives? Yes, they made a difference to the families who survive them. But what would cause them to terminate their active involvement in the lives of the families they loved? Death brings hard questions. But, they are questions that need to be asked.

3 February 2003

We have a right to use things. However, with this right comes the responsibility of stewardship. Can we really share all the world fairly and peaceably? It seems that is the only right way to live. However, what constitutes fair is open for interpretation. Fair doesn't mean splitting everything equally ... that just makes everyone poor. It seems that there needs to be consolidation of resources to permit the economy to generate better goods and services for all. Here, we all have our roles to play. Each of us must do our part to generate more than we consume. That makes the choice of how much we consume ours ... so long as we pay for it with our services.

Living as one is definitely where we are headed. It is only appropriate, for in fact, we are one. The divisions that we have chosen to accept are artificial at best. There is nothing inherently right about any of them. Divisions are OK if they are useful ... if they allow us to do things better. However, they are dangerous as well ... potentially leading to a system of castes where some are judged to be "better" than others. Differences are to be tolerated, even embraced. We need to be wary of allowing such differences to divide us however. We do this be recognizing the unity amidst the diversity.

There is a grand spiritual destiny that is unfolding. We are all players in a grand drama ... in the expression of spirit in flesh as us and through us. We are spirit in the only way that counts. Yet, we are not all of spirit. There is a great part of spirit that is able to express through us, using whatever abilities and talents we have to offer. However, this expression is not forced. Spirit may prod and push gently ... but it is up to us to volunteer to offer ourselves in her service. This is one of the greatest and noblest things that we can do. However, it requires a kind of resignation that most are not willing to embrace. That is OK. When you are ready, the timing will be right. Until then, do what you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it ... however, harm no one in the process. That is crucial. Life is as difficult as it is for many because humans do so much harm to one another. That this is still a choice that we make collectively is a testament to our level of civilization or lack thereof. This clearly is not enlightened behavior. Yet, we are ready to be part of an enlightened world. It is time to wake up and take responsibility. Certain behaviors are simply not acceptable. We need to do what it takes to remove them as valid choices of actions for individuals. However, banning behaviors typically does not work. We need to instill new behaviors to replace the old undesired ones. Behaviors are one of the primary results of our belief systems. So, the challenge here is to fix the beliefs so that the individuals involved not only see new possibilities, but are moved enough to choose the actions necessary to create them.

In the coming years, that might be a very important profession, belief fixer ... perhaps even one of the most important professions. Some will be able to do the self analysis and self work necessary to do this for themselves. But, it seems that many will need help in this area of their lives. And, why should they not get it? There are those who are good at asking the necessary questions to get to core beliefs, exploring the foundations of these beliefs, finding where the foundations are shaky and either shoring them up or tearing them down depending on the desired outcome. People should do what they are good at doing. People should employ others to provide those services that they need that they are not good at providing for themselves. This is the right use of others. However, we need to make it easy for people to find those who can provide the services that they need ... and, we need to make it affordable. This gets back to the basic social contract:

From each in accord with their abilities, to each in accord with their needs.

We need a means to execute this. We need a means for society and the individual to agree on the needs of each individual, and we need a means for society and the individual to agree on what services the individual will provide to whom and how. Actually, even before that, we need a realization on the part of many that this social contract makes sense and should be implemented. Eventually, it will be, because it is an expression of spiritual law. How can I know that? I just do. There was divine inspiration driving the basic principles of communism in the 20th century. No, it didn't work very well as a governmental system. However, that wasn't because the principle is wrong ... rather, it was that the implementations to date have been severely flawed. No implementation to date has come close to implementing this social contract. In particular, the needs of individuals have not been met ... not even basic needs on a regular basis. And, the social infrastructure didn't ensure that people were put in positions that fully utilized their natural gifts and talents in service to society. Can this work? I have to believe the answer is yes, and within my lifetime. But then, I'm quite the optimist about such things. Some might argue that basic human nature is such that this kind of a contract would never work, that people would take advantage of it. We won't really know for certain until we try, and not with some half-hearted try, but with all our minds, hearts, and souls. We will be amazed by what we can achieve in this manner. As free beings, we are free to choose to enter into such a social contract at anytime. However, it is a contract between individuals in a society. It is not between an individual and a government, or an individual and any organization for that matter. The contract is between the individual, the part, and the society, the whole. The obligations of the whole fall onto the entire collective to honor.

One of the most important things missing in society today is this social contract. There is nothing that defines what society expects from the individual and what the individual can expect from society in return. Part of this was provided by a religious framework in times past. It needs to be provided by a more open spiritual framework. The sense is that such a framework is in the process of being unveiled on many fronts ... some of which include mass media outlets. We need a framework that empowers us to greatness both individually and collectively. That such is possible, there is no doubt. That such is where we are headed, there is no doubt as well. We have literally performed magic technologically in the past century. And, the pace at which technology progresses is so swift that it is impossible to keep up with it. We have not made such rapid progress in other areas of life that ultimately matter more. Such areas as the nature of consciousness and how the mind works being two important cases in point.

I don't know if there is a scale for awareness. I know that mine has increased many fold since 1993, going through several breakpoints and major transitions. I don't believe this happens to many. How few, I don't know either. Regardless, my experiences and my need to capture this stream of consciousness, set me apart as different and unique. They may also set me apart as eccentric, strange, weird, and even crazy or insane at times. That is OK. My reality is what it is, and I am moved to share it in this manner. Whether that ultimately benefits anyone but me, we shall see soon enough. My sense is that it will. My desire is for it to do so, and in a big way. I would make a difference with my life. And, this expression is in a very real way my life. Life as expression, expression as life ... such indeed is how it is. By their works shall ye know them. Well, these are my works. Welcome to my world!

I'm curious as to what these works reveal to you about me. But, for that, you will have to provide feedback. One type of feedback is what this expression means to you personally, how it impacts you. Another type of feedback is what this expression tells you about who I am. I'm open to either type or whatever else you may have to offer. I've been operating open loop now for many years. It seems that it time to get the expression under some type of control. As the ultimate individual, highly regarding freedom, this runs against much that I have accepted to date. Effectively, I have given spirit free reign to bring forth what she will in whatsoever manner she chooses. That is what stream of consciousness expression is all about. Now, we seem to be saying more control, more order, is needed in what is expressed. Perhaps that is what the Pluto energy is bringing into the picture. Clearly, there is an increased intensity that is apparent. But, perhaps an increased organization is demanded as well somehow. We need a succinctness of expression, something that gets to the point without too much meandering. The musings serve their purpose well. They record the stream of consciousness. But, what do we do with it after that? Yes, one avenue is to make it available as it came forth. That will serve those who are ready to experience it. However, there is much wisdom contained therein that could be presented in a different context. The best of musings and best quotes pages are good attempts, but they only condense, they don't rearrange.

4 February 2003

What is it that allows all of this to come forth as it does? What is the creative source of all of this? Why do I not experience being the creator, even though the expression clearly comes forth through my mind and through my fingers? I don't really have an answer for this. I only know what I feel ... and that does not include being the source. This is somewhat of an automatic process for me. I enter into a receptive state of consciousness and allow it to happen. There are other things that I do where I am aware of making them happen. However, here there is clearly a distinction, an allowance rather than an imposing of my will. That does not mean that the imposing of my will is wrong in any way. It is just that for this communication, the expression is clearer if spirit does it herself. No, not all of it. There is a mixture of a stream of consciousness and some thoughts of my own here. But the focus is on the former ... on giving spirit a written voice through which to speak. Actually, that is not quite right. It seems that what comes forth in this stream of consciousness is born of two sources, spirit and me. Though, this is primarily other than conscious parts of me. Is this true for what is expressed by everyone? In particular, for creative expression? Or, does it take a set level of development to be able to express in such a manner? All that I know is that prior to 1993, I didn't express like this, and since 1993, I can only express like this. Though, even then, the expression has evolved substantially over the past decade.

Ego in and of itself is neither good nor bad. It all depends on how it is used. Ego has a function. It is meant to interpret physical reality. However, it can be opened so that it facilitates and accepts the expression of spirit through us. This is not something that it does automatically. In fact, quite the opposite, it seems to be something that it fights. The trick is to show it how it can function more effectively when it allows spirit to control the reigns. In general, it does not like giving up this control. But, the bottom line is that the control that the ego has is all illusion anyway.

Life goes on. There is still a sense that it is time to do something new and different ... to express in a manner that I have not been moved to express before. I'm still trying to figure out just what that is. However, I know that when I am moved to ask the question and to search ... the answer is close at hand. That is simply how things work. Another spiritual law in effect. I believe it so strongly that I have come to expect that this is how reality works. Why does not matter. It is as it is. That is enough.

What is the next scene in the drama that is my life? Hmm ... drama is an interesting word to use. It hasn't been much of a drama to date. But then, that could change at any time. We typically think of dramas involving and moving the emotions. There have been some things that have moved me deeply, some quotes, some books, some songs, some movies, some TV shows, and even some relationships. In general, this area has been lacking in my life, and could definitely use some enhancement. Spirit herself moves me deeply, primarily in this very expression. Here I learn things about myself, spirit, and life that I learn nowhere else. Why is that? I don't know. Perhaps, it is that this method is the most direct, allowing me to experience things firsthand. Spirit and consciousness have special places in my life. In fact, you might say that they are what I live for. The expression of spirit in flesh is what I am here to do. Also, there is a sense that it is what I am here to teach ... and to demonstrate by example.

Who am I to express in this manner? Why is it that I am not moved to build more upon the wisdom of others who have gone before me? Some of the issues regarding consciousness and awareness have been dealt with in various ways for many centuries in the West, and millennia in the East. Perhaps it would be beneficial to spend part of my free time studying rather than expressing all the time. Yet, that is not what I am moved to do. That is not how I operate. At this moment, I am in expression mode. How long that will last I do not know, but while I am in that mode, I will express as fully as I can. Should the time come for doing further study, I'm sure I will be moved to do that as well. But, at this time, that is an if, not a certainty.

I am not a scholar. I did not come to build upon the knowledge of others. Further, I am not a researcher, curious about what is known in a given area of interest. For instance, when I deal with astrology, I don't care much about the mundane characteristics and aspects. I care about those things that touch the soul. These one doesn't find in the typical astrology books. Further, I care about how the transpersonal elements impact the personal. It seems that this does not happen until one reaches at least a certain level of awareness. Prior to that, the forces are simply too subtle to have a personal impact. The concern for the personal comes from Uranus in the 1st house near the Ascendant in my chart. I am definitely an individual first and foremost ... and I am an eccentric one, though many might not have sufficient insight to know that. This expression sets me apart as different from others. Perhaps, there are some who express in this manner. However, I am not aware of them. Not that I've looked very hard. But, I have read a lot of books over the past 30 years.

What is it that I want from life? An infrastructure that facilitates the social contract: from each in accord with their ability, to each in accord with their needs. That is a lot to ask for. Or is it? It seems that this is the minimum that we should expect. How do we create such an infrastructure? First, we have to decide that this is something we want to build. The reason for doing it is that this is how we define what we expect of individuals and society. One of the key things lacking in our world is a reasonable set of expectations in these areas. After we have decided, we have to take the next step and establish a binding contract. This may be a challenge as the contract is between each individual and the society and needs to be tailored to each individual. Part of this tailoring is to define what the individual is expected to provide to society. The other part is what the society to provide is to the individual in return. The social contract suggests that this should be whatever the individual needs. Note in particular that this says needs, not wants. We may desire many things. Only some of what we desire are truly needs. Who gets to decide what this subset is? What recourse does the individual have if they don't believe they are being treated fairly or getting enough? Have such issues as these already been worked out? Are there intentional communities that have worked out how to live harmoniously and peacefully, in a manner that allows individuals to meet their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs?

In the area near my home, there are many gated communities. However, while the individual homeowners within these communities band together to achieve certain common functions ... these communities do not come close to executing the social contract that we spoke of above. My own neighborhood is a community of sorts. However, it is more a collection of homes in a given area that are subject to a set of Covenants, Codes, and Regulations that are designed to keep the neighborhood looking good and thus keep property values up as well. What constitutes a neighborhood? What does it mean to be neighbors? For the most part, in my experience, all this requires is to live in proximity to one another. I know very few of my neighbors. Community is a different matter. I break this apart as common unity. This requires much more interconnectivity. I don't think community happens by accident, it happens by intention. We have to give into it. We have to create it.

How does freedom and free will enter into this? Is not the world as it is because of our collective choice already? Yes, but is the world what we want it to be? My sense is that a small minority in the world might answer yes ... but, the resounding answer would be no. If we looked at the United States alone, this might be reversed though the minority might be a little more substantial, since we do have a significant number of folks living at or below poverty levels. I still find that difficult to believe, that arguably the most prosperous and mighty nation in the world has people suffering from hunger, homelessness, and poverty. Not to mention serious problems with drugs and crime. How is it that we haven't found the causes of some of these problems and found ways to remedy them? Is it just that we don't consider them worthy of our effort? What else are we to conclude? When problems go unsolved for decades ... we simply aren't expending the right resources to fix them. It makes no sense to have any person go hungry in a country that pays farmers not to grow food. We have a surplus of food. We simply need to make sure everyone can get to it as a right or entitlement, if they don't have enough money to pay for it. The same is true of nearly ever other good and service that is produced. We need to make more conscious economic decisions regarding how goods and services are to be distributed. It is not clear that the present method of allowing the market to determine what goods and services are available at what prices really serves us. It seems to work well for a small minority, work OK for a majority, and work poorly for a substantial minority. That is from a United States perspective. From a world perspective, I think it would be assessed to work poorly for the vast majority. Given this, when are we going to take responsibility and do something? Some may say, but what can we do ... it has been this way for many centuries in most of the world. Our experience in the US is an anomaly. We are a new country. Our economic growth is nearly unprecedented.

5 February 2003

One more day. They continue to flow from one to the next. Ever onward we go into whatever future we would create for ourselves both individually and collectively.

I've been in a class at work for the past few days. It has been interesting to encounter people who have been with the company a long time, some since its beginnings over 30 years ago, who simply love what they do. You can tell by the way that they talk about their experiences, that their jobs have been an adventure ... both challenging and rewarding.

There is something infectious about being around people who love what they do. It offers some hope that perhaps there is something here that I am not seeing. There are opportunities for experiences in my present working environment that simply do not exist anywhere else. There is a sense that I can mold the job into what I want it to be ... if only I knew what that was. Perhaps it is time to take an inventory of the things that I love to do and the things that I would prefer not to do, and see if there is a way to manifest more of the former and less of the later in my current job.

What is it that I love to do? Expressing in this manner is definitely near the top of the list, for many reasons. One, it gives me a sense of accomplishment ... a sense that I have accomplished something of value. Two, it provides insight into whom that I AM that I don't get in any other way. Three, it allows me to touch the unknown realms of consciousness. Whether, these are unknown overall, or simply unknown to me doesn't really matter. The sense of discovery is still the same.

What value does this expression have? What is it ultimately worth, and to whom? Good questions, but not ones that it seems that I am meant to answer. Worth is typically defined by the consumer not the generator of a service. Yes, I consider this expression a service. It is a product of the marriage of my consciousness with a source that comes from deep inside me, a source that I believe to be connected to Spirit, the ONE consciousness, herself. This is a stream of consciousness expression, but I don't consider it my stream of consciousness. For it to be mine, I would have to be in control of it in some way. But, I feel more like a radio, tuning into a particular station. We don't say that the radio is the programming that comes through the station. Similarly, my mind tunes into a "station" of consciousness. The content of what comes forth is just as new to me as it is to any who may be reading this. In fact, that is primarily how I am experiencing this, I am reading it as I am typing it. So, is there a part of me that is doing all of this? ... that is this source of whom I speak? Perhaps, but if so, I only see the products, the works that result. Will this always be so. I have no way of knowing. My sense, however, is NO. As I grow in awareness, my knowledge of whom that I AM expands. As a result, I become more than I was before. This process never ends. There is always something more to become. There is always room for further growth. How fast we grow, and how we express whom that we have become are choices that are ours to make. The very forces of nature, of life herself, encourage us to grow and be all that we can be. It only seems right that we as a society should actively assist nature in this process by doing what we can to establish social infrastructures that facilitate both individual and collective expression. Of course, the focus is on spiritual expression. But, in a way, everything is spiritual expression ... there is nothing but spirit expressing in our world.

Our brains are among the most complex physical systems that we are aware of on the planet. Mind, while it resides within the brain, does not seem to be contained by the brain. Further, consciousness, while it resides within the mind, does not seem to be contained by the mind. It is like the hardware and the software of a computer. The hardware and the operating system provide a base on which the application software can reside and perform its functions. What we do with the application software is a different matter. I can bring up Netscape Communicator, but it takes something more to allow this expression to be entered into that application program. I don't even know what that something more is. I just know that it happens. Lately, everyday for several hours per day. To some degree I make it happen. I come here to express. I sit down in front of the computer, turn it on, and type away expressing whatever comes to mind. I experience this as a stream of consciousness. I don't control what gets expressed or how it gets expressed. There is no organization. There is no purpose or intent other that to express what spirit would bring forth through me.

We are here to express spirit in flesh. We are doing that now, and have been doing that for our entire lives. However, we need to learn to develop the capacity for this kind of expression. The goal of Beyond Imagination is to create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. It helps if this is conscious, but it doesn't have to be. How do we go about building such foundations? My sense is that they start with ideas that become beliefs that result in actions. Though, it may take more than that to reach the masses. The mass media provides powerful means for reaching large numbers of people quickly. But, who decides what messages need to be conveyed? Ultimately, the answer is spirit. In fact, that is the answer to all such questions. Spirit is orchestrating the unfoldment of the expression of consciousness in flesh. Life is this very expression. Though, this is not a mechanical or deterministic process. We, as individuals and en masse, choose how we are going to experience reality. We may or may not control what we experience. But, we definitely choose the meaning of what we experience, especially the meaning to us, but also the meaning in a larger context.

What do we know about the brain, about the mind, about consciousness? Overall, it seems that even after thousands of years of investigations we still know very little. Oh, we know more now than we ever have known. And, we find out more everyday. But, how much resources do we commit to research into what these things are and how they function? We know about various mental disorders. At least, we know some of their symptoms and their effects. However, our knowledge is still limited at best. Further, when we deal with mental and emotional behavior over the population, we tend to see statistical effects rather than the details that would explain each individual case ... assuming such an explanation is even possible. It seems that there is a whole other side of mental behavior that we are missing, a positive side that results in abilities that have more utility than the norm. Athletes are a case in point where the mental and physical abilities seem to be combined in a manner that is far better than most. However, there are people with emotional abilities and with mental abilities that give them similar advantages in different areas of endeavor.

There is a sense that we are born to do what we came to do. The trick is to find what we are born to do. The key is to follow your bliss as Joseph Campbell would say. Find what you love to do, then find a way to do it. Yes, it is that simple. There is an inner compass within each of us that knows exactly what direction we need to head in next. We can choose to follow it and take the optimal route to our destination ... or we can ignore it and take a more roundabout way. The choice is ours.

I believe that this is at least part of what I was born to do. There is something about this form of written expression that activates and animates me as nothing else does. But, there is also a sense that this is not everything that I was born to do. This is not enough. There is something more, something greater and grander ... further, something that involves working with others that is yet to be done. Here, I am at a loss as to how to proceed. It is not yet clear with whom I am to work and in what capacity. This expression is simple. I can do it on my own time in my own way. Working with others requires establishing a framework, including a purpose, goals, methodology, roles and responsibilities, etc ... Yet, it seems that this is indeed the next step. We need focused efforts on particular foundations to lay the groundwork for evolutionary change if practical, or revolutionary change if necessary. One way or another, the changes that are necessary will see the light of day. A New Day Has Come as Celine Dion's song proclaims. It is just that many have not realized it yet. That is OK. Some people awaken later in the day than others. Further, some people are in a coma hence may not awaken at all. People will awaken when they are ready to awaken. There is nothing external that can be done to accelerate that. Oh, we can try. But, we will find that people will simply not get it until they are ready to get it.

What is consciousness? What makes us aware that we are aware? How does self-awareness change the rules of the game of life? What additional responsibilities come into play with awareness? Yes, these are heavy questions. Yet, in my experience, with awareness, we bear the very weight of the world on our shoulders. No longer can we be content with our selfish behavior and selfish ways. Others, the whole, becomes a consideration in all that we do. At times the burden can seem extreme. At other times, it is light because it is really spirit herself carrying it through us ... not us carrying it. That is an important distinction. We can only do so much on our own. However, spirit working though us can do far more than we could even imagine. The lesson from this is to allow spirit to do the work. That doesn't mean we don't have to pitch in and do our part, we do ... and to the best of our ability, but we don't have to do everything. We can trust that spirit is orchestrating things to ensure the efforts that need to get done are indeed getting done. Hmm ... it just came to me that even the orchestrating needs to be happening in flesh as well. So, there should be people who are being moved to take on such tasks. Each of us is being groomed for a particular role in the plan of consciousness. If we allow ourselves to ... we will fall into that role naturally. The trick is not to fight it. That doesn't mean to accept things that we don't like to do. We just need to believe that we are being naturally attracted to the role that is meant for us. It doesn't hurt to augment this with conscious choices to develop the skills necessary to carry out this role. In fact, the more we do this, the sooner we can get on with the mission that we came to perform. Yes, we can impact the timing here to some degree. Our readiness creates new probabilities of expression from which we collectively choose the path the world will follow.

We stand on the brink of war again. What does that say about the readiness of the world to enter a new age? While we have warring factions, even though war not be proclaimed, we cannot have peace. Yet, peace is what the new age demands. How do we put an end to our squabbles permanently? How do we rid ourselves of weapons of mass destruction? How do we get rid of hatred and intolerance? How do we establish a spiritual foundation that all can agree on? No, not a religious foundation. After thousands of years of quarreling, there is no hope that religions will mend their ways and reconcile their differences.

6 February 2003

Why ... Why ... Why? This is the question that I came to answer ... or to assist in answering anyway. At this moment, I may not consciously know the answers, or even know how to proceed to find the answers. But, the first step is always to start asking the questions. I can't believe how silent I was in this area for the first 35 years of my life. I didn't really ask questions. Not formally anyway. I don't remember ever asking questions in my classes in school. Yes, I had to answer questions that were assigned, but that is not the same as originating questions yourself. Now, I originate many questions each week, far more than I answer. Some, if fact, that may even be unanswerable.

This week has shown me that I work for a company that has some pretty impressive folks working for it ... people who care about sharing their expertise and experience with others. There are a lot of special people out there who can do things in ways that make a difference. How do we get some of this kind of culture extended to other aspects of society? The impression I have from my class, is that there is still much that I can learn in my present work environment. However, the question that comes up is can I learn more in this environment or outside of it? Where does my path take me? Clearly, I am not one to live for my job. The job is a necessary trade I make to earn an income sufficient to meet a good portion of my needs. At this point, I see no other alternatives. So long as that is the case, I will continue to do my job to the best of my ability. However, I am ever open to whatever would come next, whatever that might be.

Part of the problem with repeatability is that the intuition simply will not be subjected to any such tests. Either we learn to trust what she knows and what she tells us, or we don't. She offers no proof. She is her own authority. Life is primarily a subjective experience. That is simply how it is. We can try to make it objective, but the more we try, the more hollow it becomes. When we open ourselves to the infinity of whom that we are, all sorts of possibilities open up for us. We can do things far grander than we have ever believed possible. We are only limited to the degree that we limit ourselves.

What am I worth? That is an interesting question. It seems that we also need to ask, to whom? To my employer, the answer is obvious ... I see it in the paycheck that I receive each week and in the work itself and the working conditions. However, it is not so clear what I am worth to others in my life. Nor is it clear what the work that I do in my free time is worth. That would primarily be the work that I do here, this stream of consciousness expression ... all that I do under the guise of Beyond Imagination. My sense is that the value of this voluntary spiritual work is far greater than that of my job. It seems that it will have the most lasting value. Only time will tell. Though, I do have 25 years of work experience, and I would find it difficult to identify anything that I did during that time that truly made a difference. That's a sad commentary on our times. That is especially difficult for me to accept given how important it is for me to make a difference with my life. It is not that I have not done good work. What I have done, I have done well. Further, I have been far more productive than most of my peers. But that is not enough for me. Perhaps that is why this expression is so important. It is my chance to invest whom that I AM in something greater than I am. I do this willingly, with all my heart and soul. This is my way of giving something back in return for all that I have been blessed to receive. For ten years, this has been enough. However, there is a strong sense that it is now time for something more. I don't yet know what that is, but I will soon ... I just know it. That is how I live my life these days. I allow whatever is to unfold to unfold as it will. There is no sense that I have to make anything happen. That does not mean that I can sit back and do nothing. Quite the opposite, as evidenced by all that I am moved to do.

What makes me different than others? My talents and abilities are different. My awareness is different. My belief system is different. My very reality is different. Note ... different is not better, it is simply different. All that we can do is be whom that we are, whom that we truly are ... not our limited concepts of whom we believe ourselves to be. That means we need to do what it takes to discover whom that we are. It would help greatly if our social infrastructures supported us in doing this. In a way, they do. The necessary materials and resources are available to help lead to our awakening. Though, they are not the easiest to find, and they are not readily available to the masses. For instance, they are not yet embraced by our formal education system. Part of this is a matter of what is traditionally acceptable. Most of our organizations tend to change slowly overall.

It seems that I have entered a new phase of my life. Along with that comes the question, what do I want to do with my life now? The answer is still the same ... to serve spirit as fully as I can by creating the foundations for a new world. I would be 22:Master Builder. That is what it takes to build the foundations under our castles in the air. Yes, spirit has already expressed the ideas and ideals that constitute the basis on which a new world can be founded. It is for us to embrace these, and act as if we truly believe them. We can create the world to be anything that we choose for it to be, both individually and en masse. However, we need to see the bigger picture of what spirit is trying to create as a whole and find a way to relate our individual piece to that whole. Some people are better at doing this than others. That is OK. That is what we should be employing them to do as their service to society. I believe this to be one of my talents. Further, I believe that in capturing this expression and sharing it with others, I am somehow contributing something back to society. Yet, there is still the sense that this is not enough. Though there are thousands of pages of expression ... this is only the beginning of what I am to do with my life. It seems that writing will always play a major role. However, it may not be the only tool of choice for reaching people. That goes with the idea of having entered a new phase. In a new phase, the purpose and the methods of expression may change as well. They don't necessarily have to, but they may. There is an increased sense of urgency to do something concrete, something that actually establishes some type of foundation. We've had several attempts to do this over the past decade, most of which have been short-lived, or were before their time as the saying goes.

7 February 2003

What does it take to find those with whom we are to share our lives? It does not seem to be just happening. So it seems that it requires some type of effort on our part. Actually, others do not seem to have as much difficulty in this area as I seem to have. Establishing relationships is a challenge for me. It is not something that comes naturally. My preference is to avoid them to the degree that I can. Yes, there are notable exceptions in the work environment and with a few friends, but overall, I am a very solitary person. I spend the bulk of my time alone ... in the company of my self. That is OK. It is natural for me. Though, it may also be limiting as well. There is still the remnant of a fear of others that developed in my childhood. In particular, it manifests as a concern for how others will judge me. Fortunately, I don't allow it to impact what I express here in any way. One reason is that I don't believe this to be solely me expressing here. Spirit herself has at least equal authorship, and I trust that she knows what she is doing and will not be subject to judgment from another. Similarly, it seems that when I am being true to myself, there is no room for judgment either, except perhaps self-judgment that compares how I perform with what I am capable of. To be all that we can be ... that is the goal. That is the challenge that we all face. It is not hard to do. The very forces of the universe are cooperating with us in doing this.

We have to believe in ourselves, and believe in spirit as she expresses through us. When we do so, we will be surprised at the things that we can do. We are grand beings all. We are spirit enfleshed. It is time for us to realize this and start behaving as if we know that it is true. We do know. We may have to reach deep within ourselves to find the place that knows, but it is there. And, we can find it if we search for it, provided we are earnest and sincere in our searching.

Our life is our masterpiece. Yes, masterpiece. We are all masters in the art of reality creation. That doesn't mean that we've learned everything that can be learned. It simply means that we create our reality to mirror our beliefs faithfully already. We do it on other than conscious levels for the most part. However, we can gain some conscious control by examining our beliefs, removing ones that don't serve us, and replacing them with ones that do. We may not know whether the new beliefs will indeed have the desired effect. So, we need to monitor the results, determine the utility, and make further adjustments as needed. This is one area where it pays to be pragmatic. We must be willing to try new things to see what works and what doesn't ... and then eliminate those things that don't work. That doesn't mean we have to try everything ourselves. We can use the lessons learned from others as helpful guidance. We don't do enough of this. We don't do enough sharing of our experiences in ways that can help others. Part of the problem is how do you share and how do you find guidance relevant to some area of interest in a timely manner? If it takes more time to find out if there are relevant lessons learned, than it does to do something and learn whatever lessons are necessary, then there is no value added in the lessons learned. Part of the challenge of the information age is to put the information that we need at our fingertips when we need it. Actually, for many, a voice input might be more appropriate. We are nowhere near answering this information accessibility challenge. Oh, there are probably groups who are trying for particular categories of information. But, there is much more that can be done. Just consider all of the information on the WWW. Some sites have started to catalog and organize the material on particular topics. But, overall, this seems to be a small number compared to the number of sites offering information. Abstracting material and showing how it relates to a larger whole is important as well. From what I've seen, there is still far too little of this that is done. Perhaps in time. I can only hope. If we are to truly see the value of information, we need to see it in all its glory, with all its connectivity. We need to see how it fits within the whole. Does everybody need to see this? No. We don't need everyone to be holistic thinkers. It is enough for those whose function it is to look after the whole to see in this manner.

9 February 2003

In general, I don't get too attached to things. Nor am I accustomed to taking care of them very well. What is important to me is ideas. This expression is where I am able to freely communicate what is inside of me, albeit still with an unseen audience, or perhaps even no audience at all except for me. For your eyes only, only for you. The line from that song still haunts me. Can this be true. Can this elaborate construct be all for me? Is this the mansion that I have made for myself? Every fiber within me yells out no, that consciousness doesn't waste effort ... that such expression as this is indeed meant to reach and to move people somehow. Then again, if all of this has been done to train me, it is not a waste of effort either. It will enable me to do what I am meant to do next ... and then to do after that ... and so on, and so on, until my life is done. That is enough to make it of tremendous value. However, that means that I can't necessarily count on anything that I've done to date to fund my existence. Don't quit your day job as the saying goes. That's OK, I still have my night job to engage my soul. There is so much to do ... yet there seems to be so little time. Yes, I know. That is a matter of choice. It is for us to decide what we will do with our free time. Being entertained is becoming a less and less viable choice. With minutes becoming precious, choosing to spend an hour to watch a show or two hours to watch a movie is a major choice. Then, there is sleep. On weekends, I find it difficult waking up in the morning and often sleep for 10 hours per night. That really makes the days go by faster, as they literally are two hours shorter.

This expression offers me a chance to bring forth something new, something that no one has ever brought forth before in the same manner. How can I know that? Clearly, I haven't read everything. Perhaps, it is precisely because my reading has been limited that I can know that what is expressed here is new and different. It is not patterned after anything that I have read. There are very few quotes and even fewer references to other works. I can still go back and read any of the best notes or best of musings pages and be amazed at what has been expressed through me. It is interesting because while I do this often, I have limited to no recall of having written what I am reading. I would expect that if this were really mine alone, there would be a recognition somehow. Yet, such is not the case. If I had $1 per word of expression, I would have over 1 million dollars by now. Is this expression worth that much? My sense is yes. But, the obvious answer is to whom?

Can I find a benefactor willing to pay me $1 per word to continue to express in this manner? With such a contract, I could indeed quit my day job and do this for a living. Further, with 40-60 hours per week to devote to this task, who knows what additional creativity and forms of expression might be unleashed. It will be if it is meant to be. There is still a sense that "Circle A" still has something to offer. There are things that the organization knows collectively that I could benefit from. There is a reason for everything that happens in my life. Everything unfolds in its proper timing. There is nothing I can do to force things to happen. This is an existence of allowing things to happen in a manner that is appropriate. That doesn't mean my desires don't count. At some point, my desires are spirit’s desires. There is no separation, no distinction. Has that point happened already, or is it still to come? I am still leery about imposing my will on various situations. There is a difference between allowing things to happen their way and allowing them to happen my way. Ultimately, which way is right? Does it matter one way or the other? Or, is the issue how attached we become to the particular way? It seems that attachment is almost always a troublesome area.

How do I gravitate to the job that I am meant to have and the life I am meant to lead? The sense is that this is exactly what is happening. The process is just a bit slower than I'd like at the present time. That's OK. Things will unfold in their proper timing. That includes my destiny. Not only mine, but the destiny of each and every one of us. That is simply how it is. Life unfolds as she will. Sometimes this is as we will as well, but just as often it is not. It depends on whether our will is aligned with the will of consciousness. How do we know? It seems that we don't until we see what manifests. If what we will manifests ... then our will is indeed aligned with spirit. If not, then it is not. It is that simple. Lack of manifestation does not mean that we should cease trying. Rather, we should re-evaluate what we are willing ... and perhaps change something.

10 February 2003

Another day. I can't shake the feeling that I am here to do far grander things than I am currently doing, that I am in effect wasting a good deal of my time. Yet, I don't see what I can do about it. I need an income, and a good one at that. And, there are only so many things that I am trained to do and have experience doing. We put ourselves in boxes of sorts, boxes that contain us, defining what we can and cannot do. I would not be so restricted. That is one of the good things about my job. I get to make it up as I go along. No two days are ever the same. I don't typically know what I am going to be doing more than a few days ahead of time, and even then only loosely. That is OK. I thrive on the uncertainty of it all. Rigid structures are foreign to me. But some structure is familiar. The patterns that I see in numbers and symbols are that way. They reveal a spiritual structure that seems to be hidden from most. And, I often say that my mission is to build the foundations for a new world. Foundations are major elements of structure ... as basic as you can get. Yet, even as I do this, I would be free, and I would allow consciousness free reign to create and fashion the structures as she will. I know enough to realize that it is not me doing this work, it is her doing this work through me. I gladly offer my services however. I can think of no better way to engage my talents, my abilities, my energies, and my time. Yes, the work of consciousness, of spirit, is that important to me. It is my very life. It is not a matter of giving my life to it. There was nothing that was mine to give. This is my life. I could live in no other way and be true to myself. That doesn't mean that this is the path that everyone must follow. Quite the contrary. My sense is that I have taken the road less traveled, and perhaps not a road or even a trail at all. It is OK for me to be a trailblazer. I came to be a pathfinder and a wayshower. But what am I to show the way to? Thus far it has been to the states of consciousness that I have had the fortune to reach ... to the degree that I could share my experience anyway.

Why must I be so special? I just see what I am capable of, and realize that this is quite different than the vast majority. My abilities and my awareness set me apart. But, these same characteristics come with a responsibility to use them in service to the world in some way ... in my case, in a major way. The need to be of service to humanity runs deep within me. It is particularly curious considering that I still consider myself to be very much the hermit. But the hermit card in the Tarot has this element to it. The hermit comes down from the high mountains to share of his wisdom with the world. Am I wise enough to do this yet? Is the source that I tap sufficiently wise to provide such service? I don't have to do it all. It is spirit working through me that achieves most of this. The working of a transistor comes to mind. The application of a small amount of base current controls a much larger amount of collector/emitter current. Here, we have a similar effect. The application of a small amount of conscious effort on our part allows a great deal of energy of consciousness to flow forth into manifestation. It doesn't happen automatically, however. We have to provide the initial current. Consciousness can use us to do her works, but only when we cooperate to allow it to happen. Many are in the mode of my works be done, though they do not even realize it. They create their reality in accordance with their belief systems. This is OK. Some of the lessons young souls and adult souls learn revolve around achievement of various types. However, mature souls and ancient souls have different perspectives on what is important. They no longer see that winning is important, especially if others lose in the process. They have a much stronger need to find their place in the overall scheme of things and to play that role effectively. This requires being true to themselves and being true to others. There can be a tendency towards laziness, as if nothing in the world really matters much. Or, the opposite can manifest ... with some cause becoming so important that the rest of life pales by comparison. This can be good or bad, depending on the cause, and depending on the individuals orientation. I'm the first to say that it is wonderful to have something that one can devote ones life to. This expression is of that nature for me.

I strongly desire to do something different with my life. Yet, am I motivated to do what it takes to turn that desire into something different? Yes, that is the question. That is not something that I have much experience doing to date. My decisions are generally fairly intuitive. But, in this case, there is no cushion of reserves to tide me over financially until I figure out what else I might be able to do. I have to find a way to start doing it, and start getting paid for it, long before I would even consider giving up the security of my present job. That is OK. That is one of the conditions for living in this world. We have to pay for the standard of living at which we live. The accepted way of doing this is by selling our services to an employer. That is the way that most of us do this anyway. But, there are other ways. Some are entrepreneurs. It is not clear that I have the personality to be such. Actually, it is clear that I don't. I'm not enough of a people person for that. Yet, I would build the foundations for a new world, in which people can express in community in ways that they have never expressed before ... and in which spirit can express in flesh more fully than ever before.

What makes me qualified to do any of this? Me, who has essentially lived as a loner for all of my life. That does not seem to matter. There is something within me that drives me to do this. Further, there is something within that seems to inherently know what it is doing. I simply have to have the courage to do as I am moved by spirit to do, trusting that I am being led exactly where I need to go each and every step of the way. At this point, my entire life confirms this ... but especially the past decade. My life has been one of destiny for as long as I can remember. Though, I typically do not have the foreknowledge of what the destiny is prior to it occurring. That is OK. I am comfortable with the unknown playing a major role in my life. For many, this is not acceptable. They need their lives to be packaged nice and tidy. I prefer to venture far from the norms ... to the point of touching the very edges of sanity at times. Thus far, in all my cases of manic flying I have been able to come back, to return to some semblance of control. Will that always be the case? The sense is yes. There is an inbuilt governor of sorts that limits just how far I can go. Perhaps that is what the medications and the associated adjustments to brain chemistry do. Perhaps that is why this latest medication was added to the arsenal. Nothing happens by chance in my life. Everything is by design. Everything happens for a reason, often for multiple reasons.

Change. The times seem ripe for change somehow, of a magnitude and a rapidity that exceeds anything we've seen to date. Yet, can social change really happen as fast as technological change? Would we even want it to? The answer seems to be yes to both questions. Further, we shall see soon enough. It seems we are at or are rapidly approaching a breakpoint. Beyond the breakpoint lies a rainbow of great brilliance. Somewhere over the rainbow ... there is a world that is beyond imagination. All that we have to do is follow the rainbow and get there. Easier said than done, you say. In general, that might be true. But the deck is stacked in our favor in this case. Providence desires that we succeed ... and so we shall. It is only a matter of when.

What would I do next? That question has been coming up a lot lately as well. Last year, and all last month, it was enough to muse and select best of musings and best quotes. But, that no longer seems to be enough. There is a sense that something is missing, a sense that there is something more that I could be doing. If I'm going to spend 2-4 hours per day serving spirit, I need to make conscious choices as to how I'm going to invest that time to make it as productive as possible. It is not clear that coming here to express all the time is the best choice. That doesn't mean that it isn't a good choice, at least for some amount of time. It is just that I need to start considering other alternatives as well. Doing what I am moved to do still seems to be the right process. However, I need to be open to being moved to do different things. That is OK. Change, in general, is a good thing.

Do what you love and the money will follow. I think that was the title of a book by Marsha Sinetar. I am doing what I love but the money doesn't seem to be following ... at least, not directly from the Beyond Imagination work that I love. Part of the problem is that I'm not doing what I love in a manner that necessarily provides service to any individual or group of individuals. When you serve "society", who pays? How do I collect one penny per person from 250 million people? That would be enough to fund my work for 10 years. Yes, just one penny from each person. However, that is what large numbers do for us. If one person or one company has to pay, the cost is the same ... roughly 2.5 million over 10 years. Am I worth that much? Clearly the answer is yes. One way or another that much will be paid for my work ... either to my present employer, or to me directly if I can arrange it. Given that, how do I alter the circumstances in a win-win way so that I am happier and more effective in applying my services? Can I do that within my present working environment? Or, will I ultimately need to go beyond it? The sense is the later. The only question is the timing.

11 February 2003

Again we start with a nearly blank slate, something we have done everyday except once this year to date. While we are moved to express in this manner we will continue to do so. This is a form of therapy for me. It is a place of release ... where I can open my heart and soul to the world, even if the particular members that constitute that world are largely unknown to me. Perhaps that is why it is so easy, because I don't know who is going to be exposed to this material or what impact it will ultimately have on them. I only know what impact generating and reading the material have on had on me and then only in general overall terms. This is material that impacts ones state of consciousness. And, that has ripple effects into all other areas of one life. I wouldn't presume to know how this material impacts others. My hope would be that it would be mind shattering or at least belief shattering ... but that may be too much to ask. Then again, that may be exactly what I am here to do ... to shake up peoples worlds and concepts of self. Clearly, I have done this for myself. Or, more precisely, spirit has done this for me.

There is still a strong sense that it is time for a major change in my life, and further that it is completely within my power to make this change. That seems to rule out a job change ... as that would seem to involve others besides me. Though, I am in complete control of how I apply my free time toward my spiritual job. It is this part that I could change at anytime. That will have to be good enough for now.

What is it that is mine to do? That I would do with a glad heart. There is no burden too great to bear, when it is rightfully ours and when we have spirit bearing it with us. However, it does take courage to do what is ours to do. This requires stretching beyond what we typically see as the boundaries of ourselves to become something greater that we ever thought we ever were. Yet, when we do this, we will never cease to be amazed, we will never cease to surprise ourselves by what we are able to accomplish.

I am a man possessed, driven to express by a force that I cannot control. OK, maybe cannot is a bit too strong. Clearly, I choose not to control it. Hence, the proliferation of musings over the past 13 plus months. What would I do with all of these words? Yes, I post them to make them available to the world ... or, that part of the world that would find them. But, what else is to be done? It seems that some of what is written is of a nature that is publication quality. But, that seems to be such a big job to package appropriate material into a book. Perhaps the Best of Musings or the Best Quotes pages might be good starting points. I won't know unless I try. The fact that I am being moved to think about it suggest that perhaps it is worth doing something along those lines and seeing what results. The worst that can happen is that I'll have packaged some of the Beyond Imagination material into another product. The only downfall is how much time is involved to convert from web pages to files in Word. I don't think I've done this for some time so I have no idea as to what to expect. Nothing ventured, nothing gained ... as the saying goes.

Are the words and ideas that flow forth through me ultimately meant to find an audience ... and, if so, is it to happen in my lifetime ... and, if so, is it to happen soon? Interesting questions. Yet, important ones, questions whose answers change the very nature of how I am to express and interact with others in the world. That makes them very important to me personally. However, at the same time, there is a whatever will be will be attitude that is present at my core. This keeps me centered and connected to source. Regardless of what is happening around me, there is this inner connection that is always there.

The words continue to flow. So long as they do, I am content to allow this expression to continue. Yes, that means investing my free time in this endeavor. That means making a judgment call that what comes forth is worth far more than the cost of my time required in this expression. To date, this has been true without a doubt. The quality and quantity of what has come forth has literally blown me away. And, not only the first time, but each time that I go back and re-read what has come forth. The question that gets raised is "did all of that really come forth through me"? WOW! I don't know what else to say. This stream of consciousness that I tap is rich and deep. Sometimes she is downright unfathomable. She carries me to the edge of the unknown ... and even pushes me off the edge of the cliff at times so that I can discover my newfound wings of consciousness and fly. It is easy to soar in consciousness, it really is. But then, that may be because my natural brain chemistry is pre-disposed to such, being bipolar and all. I really have no basis for knowing the degree to which my experience is common with that of others. From everything that I have seen, it is quite different. But, it is all that I know ... and I have grown accustomed to it being what it is. Consciousness is pretty amazing. Yet, there was nothing in my formal education that taught me anything about it. I still find that astonishing ... even frightening. How can an intelligent society know so little about something as important as consciousness itself?

I am anxious to do something different. It is time for major changes in what I manifest in my life. That is starting to happen, but it seems that it is just not happening fast enough. I have a new computer and a new vehicle. And, Mr Bear recently passed away. Further, this expression has increased both in volume and nature as well. Though, the difference is still somewhat subtle. Let's see, I should get a raise in another week or so. So, changes are happening ... but, the sense is that this is only the beginning. There is much more in store throughout the year to come. I welcome the changes, both the comings and the goings, difficult as they may be. I welcome the very process of becoming more and more of whom that I AM and expressing that to the degree that I can. Further, I welcome the opportunity to start establishing cooperative interdependent relationships that will serve as foundations for some of my future collaborative work. Where I'll find the people with whom I am to work remains to be seen, but I am sure that at some level we are in the process of attracting ourselves to each other. We may not know this consciously. But, at some level, we know. We know what roles we came to play and we know who the other players are. It is simply a matter of finding them in the world and assuming our rightful places and relationships.

Consciousness is the star by which I navigate. She animates me. She breathes life into me. I am her Words made flesh. And, this very expression is largely her expression through me. I have said these words come from source. But, what is this thing called source? It is a place deep within me where I am able to connect to a stream of consciousness from spirit. I believe that we all have such a place within us, though for some it may be buried or hidden making it difficult to find and connect to. But, if you persist, you will succeed. The game of life is stacked in our favor. We are meant to succeed. This does not mean it will be easy, challenges seem to be a natural part of life. However, challenges can be just as easily be approached joyfully and playfully as they can be dreadfully. It is all a matter of choice.

Life is indeed a game that we are playing. When we are operating at our finest, we play it win-win on every level. There is always a way to do this. It is a matter of being committed enough to making it happen. What do we want to manifest? One of our most intimate creations is our physical body. What does it say when over half the population of the country is obese? I guess I put myself in that category. I could stand to lose about 50 pounds. That’s a lot, over 20 percent of my present body weight of 230. It's all a matter of exercise and controlling food intake. I've been getting my share of exercise, but the food consumption control has been poor. It doesn't help that my bipolar medications all have weight gain as side effects except for the latest one which has weight loss. I do feel more in control right now for some reason. The appetite is suppressed. I have been able to eat smaller portions and not need snacks in between. So, maybe it is working. As with most things, time will tell. Also, it helps to have an objective in mind. I haven't been good with goals in the past ... but maybe the shift has changed this as well. Perhaps it is time to start consciously establishing some goals and working toward those goals. That provides a way to measure progress against achieving a given set of objectives. We may need to be flexible about the objectives. That is OK. But, the sense is we need something written down to work toward. With me alone, the stream of consciousness may have worked fine. But, if we are going to engage others ... we need goals, objectives, and step by step work plans to achieve those goals and objectives.

12 February 2003

I challenged myself to generate a Beyond Imagination "product" this week. It is only Wednesday, and I already succeeded beyond my expectations. The next step is the difficult part. Now that I have created it, what do I do with it? Essentially, it is a Best of Musings collection for 2002. It is a large enough work to package as a book. But, I have no idea about how to deal with potential publishers. Further, I have no way of assessing whether there is a sufficient market to make the material worthy of being published. However, I will not know that unless I get it out there and see what feedback I receive. I was amazed that the transformation from web pages to Word went as smoothly and as quickly as it did. It probably shouldn't have surprised me. HTML is similar to what word processors have been using to format text for years. However, I've had other cases where things that should have been easy proved to be much harder than anticipated. I feel good about having another major product completed. I even spell-checked this one. There is a sense of finality about such completions. It is as if the work is cast in stone. It is more real somehow. It is no longer just the stuff of the ethers.

What drives me to work so hard? I hold myself accountable to a higher tribunal than man's. I am moved to make each moment count to the best of my ability. That goes for both my work time and my free time. That means working an average of 60-70 hours per week between my job and my Beyond Imagination work. Yes, that is a lot of time. But, that is the commitment that I am moved to make. My spiritual work is the equivalent of over a half time job ... and it is one that I volunteer to do. You see the results from that job here, posted nearly daily. Is this expression worth the effort that goes into it? Is it worth the time that it takes to read it? Ultimately, that is not something that I can decide. I am not privy to the effects of this effort. I know not who is moved by this expression in what ways. I can only evaluate what comes forth based on what it means to me and how it applies to my life. You'll have to do the same. Utility is the only measure for evaluating information. Does this expression provide anything that is useful? Does this expression assist you in doing things to improve your reality and your experience of life? If so, I have done my job well. If not, find somewhere else to spend your time. The bottom line is that I express what I express because I must. I am moved to do so by a strong force that comes from deep within me, a force that I choose not to resist.

How long can I continue my present pace? The sense is indefinitely. I truly have nothing better to do with my time. This expression is what my life is about. This is part of carrying out my mission and accomplishing my purpose in this existence. I know that by the way that I feel when I am doing it. It is the most natural thing in the world for me to be doing. It is home for my consciousness. And, consciousness is everything for me. Here I am free to be whom that I AM in ways that I can be nowhere else. It is impossible to imagine what my life would have been life had this expression not entered my reality on 5 March 1993. We are three weeks shy of a decade since that fateful first day. In many ways, that was a spiritual birth for me, a time of awakening. Though, it took awhile to realize what I was experiencing. In fact, even now, ten years later, I am still in a major learning mode ... ever discovering what consciousness would care to show me of how spirit manifests in our lives. This business of reality creation is not easy stuff ... yet, at the same time, it is mere childs play if we view it from the right perspective. Life does not have to be difficult. It is meant to be engaging yes, and to be a challenge ... but it is not meant to be overwhelming as it seems to be for many.

When will we start taking responsibility for one another ... full responsibility? When we have people starving, this is not happening. When we have people living in poverty, this is not happening. When we have people who want work unemployed, this is not happening. What does it take to rid our society of such problems once and for all? And then, how do we extend the solutions to apply to the world? Yes, the challenges are greater there. However, the responsibility is the same ... it is just shared among many nations. And no, the answer is not that each nation is responsible for itself. There are many poor nations that have no means to address the many problems that plague their countries. It seems that here we need a United Nations to step in as an equalizing force between the developed, developing, and undeveloped nations.

13 February 2003

I had an interesting e-mail this morning from someone who had just read Reality Creation 1010 and accused me of stealing some of his ideas. It seems that independently, he had come up with similar ideas in the past few years ... not knowing that Reality Creation 1010 was generated from 26 Dec 93 to 4 Jan 94. That one was particularly easy to remember because the whole thing came forth in 10 days. It was literally a blur. I still can't believe how connected I was at that time to be able to allow that to manifest as it did. Anyway, we'll have to see what comes from this new connection. The copyright on the Reality Creation 1010 page is dated in 1996. The person who contacted me was dismayed that if it was correct, my work predated his by a few years. I guess he'll be even more disturbed that the dates were even two years earlier. Actually, anymore this doesn't really matter. The ideas that come forth through me are from spirit. As such, I don't believe them to be mine to own or to control in that matter. On January 1, 1997, I was moved to give the works of Beyond Imagination freely to the world. However, in doing so, I made it clear that anyone who chose to use them could not claim any copyrights either. The works belong to spirit ... and thus, to the world as a whole, not to any particular individuals or groups of individuals.

That does not mean that we cannot prosper from the works that we do. We just need to be careful about how much control is imposed. We are meant to give of whom that we are in service to our world in some way ... preferably in some effective way. In return, we are entitled to all that we need and more. That is the social contract. No, it has not been publicly declared yet. But, that does not preclude us from acting as if it is already in effect. When we do that, effectively, it becomes in effect. We don't need some external force to impose anything on us. This can be an inside job. We can choose to do it at any time.

Can I make a living from writing? Am I good enough? Do I know enough? Do I have sufficient self-discipline? Perhaps, perhaps not. My sense is that if I could, I would not still be here in my present job. It will take a lot of book sales to replace the income that I make on the job. Perhaps the best approach is to ease into it and to allow it to augment my income first until I am sufficiently established to do this fulltime. That is the conservative approach anyway, and it seems that caution is in order at the present time. In the meantime, I am open to learning whatever I can from whatever opportunities present themselves. Lately, these seem to be coming in many flavors. The move to strategic thinking is a natural one. Strategy deals with what and why, tactics with how and when. I'm definitely naturally inclined toward strategy. Though the musings do occasionally address how to achieve the desired objectives. However, perhaps it is time that they should do more of this. If we are to build the foundations for a new world, it seems that we should be getting on with it.

My life continues to change all around me. Yet, in many ways, I am still the same. The setting is different, the props and the scenes are changing, but I am still much as I was. I am still standing at the center awake and aware ... anxious to become something more, yet not knowing what that something more might be. That is OK. I am a patient man, I can wait as long as it takes. My sense is that it won't be for much longer. I am deeply moved to be an author, officially. That means being published. Self publishing appears to be the right route. And, I even found a publisher that appears to be right for the job. Infinity Publishing, of course. But, I still have more research to do. It seems that for as little as $400, one can be published in the electronic age and have ones books available electronically and printed on demand within 48 hours. Such is where technology has taken us. However, being published and creating a demand for ones books are two very different things. If the books are to sell, then I'm going to have to take an active role in getting the word out. Marketing is not something that comes easy to me. If the material is good, it seems that word of mouth should be sufficient to get the word out. But, that is not necessarily enough. The words came forth through me. Who better than me to be their advocate? Where does my responsibility end? It seems that this expression is not enough. It seems that I am also to be involved in the dissemination, at least to some degree. At least, that is what I am moved to do now. And, that is all that counts. We must do as we are moved to do. It is spirit herself that moves us. At least, this has been true for me for all of my life.

I am close to something. I can taste it. I just don't know what it is yet. I feel different somehow. It is as if a large burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I'm not even sure why. Nor does it matter. There is a sense that destiny is at play once again in my life, and in a major way. Where it will take me we'll see soon enough. Indeed, there is a sense of urgency, a sense that we will not be waiting long. It is time for a major shift in what I do. Yet, it seems we have to allow for a transition period as well. It all comes down to what do I want to be doing with my life? In particular, what do I want to be doing with my work life? If I were king, would I be doing what I am doing? The answer is clearly no. Then, why am I doing it? Yes, I am good at it. And, yes, there are things that I am learning from it. And, most importantly, because it pays me decently. But, are those things enough? They have been to date. After all, I am still here. But, for how long? There must be a better way to employ my talents in a matter that serves society more effectively. That is what ultimately matters to me. How well was I able to serve society? And even more important, how well was I able to serve spirit? Though often the two go hand in hand. What would I do if I could choose what to do each day with my time? Actually, I do have that choice to make each day for a substantial amount of free time. And, the primary choice that I make is to come here and express whatever spirit would have me express each day. I feel good about that choice. There is a sense of accomplishment that comes from this expression, a sense that a record has been captured that may ultimately last far longer than I do. This stream of consciousness is important somehow ... more important than any concept that I have of myself. The hope is that what is captured here is sufficient to trigger others to awaken. Whether it does that or not depends on how well I have done my job of bringing it forth.

14 February 2003

I am still moved to get some of my works published formally. But, the idea of copyrighting them presents a challenge. To me, limiting the distribution and dissemination of the works is counterproductive. I would rather that the works receive the widest audience than that the profits from the works are precisely administered and controlled. Further, there is the matter of it being spirit that does these works through me. How can I copyright them as mine when they are not solely mine? At the same time, there is no other person on the planet living or dead who contributed to the works ... so from that standpoint, they are indeed mine. Perhaps that is enough.

Life goes on. It seems that lately the challenges are more frequent and more difficult to deal with. That is OK. It is forcing me to reevaluate my life and see what is truly important and what is not. Clearly, this expression is near the top of the list. It is still one of the most important, if not the most important, endeavors in my life. Here I am able to be whom that I AM in ways that I can do nowhere else. What good does it do if it doesn't involve others however? Good point. That is something I am just starting to realize. There is an emptiness in my life, a void when it comes to relationships. This is primarily my fault. For the most part, I simply haven't been interested enough to apply the effort. My concern has been with my self and with self-knowledge. After all, Plato did say Know Thyself, not Know Others. I say that with a big grin. But, it does seem that my life is lacking in some important areas. However, more than at any time before, I feel empowered to change this. I can do things now to start establishing cooperative interdependent relationships. It all starts with an openness and a willingness to do so. The next question is what relationships with whom for what purposes? I guess that was more of a series of questions. The very fact that I am asking them suggests either that I already know the answers or that the answers are close at hand. Questions are a powerful means of self-discovery and of reality creation as well. They allow us to focus our energies on what we want, or more precisely, on what we need to know. If we pay attention, we may be surprised at where our questions take us. The journey of self discovery is truly an adventure, the likes of which no earthly adventure can compare. However, we need to give our consciousness the space to soar to heights unknown and to realms beyond imagining.

How do I create my dream job? Can I do that within the confines of my present job? Hmm ... that is a possibility. There is some reason that I am with my present employer.

In a very real way, this expression is my dream job ... except that I would have more interaction with others. In particular, meaningful interaction with others that allows them to understand and then engage whom that they are. Interesting. I truly am doing what I love to do. I am expressing the best of what I have to express. Though, there is a sense that appropriate interaction with others could make this process even better ... could step it up to a whole new level. That is what I seek. That is what I sense is missing.

You are a creator now! It is fully within your power to create the job that you seek within your present work environment. It is simply a matter of choosing to do it and then focusing your resources to make it happen. You are manifesting your present job circumstances. When you desire for them to change ... you will manifest what is necessary for that to happen as well. And, with the pace of reality creation these days, this doesn't take years or even months anymore. Can it really be that simple? Indeed it can ... and that difficult as well. Crafting reality to be what we want it to be is creation at its finest. The trick is to make sure what we want for ourselves is aligned with what spirit has planned for us. That is the part that takes all of the self work. That is the part that takes the resignation of the will to the greater will of spirit. But, you have already been there and done that. So, that is no longer an issue for you as it might be for others. You struggled with my will versus thy will for many years through the mid-90s. At some point, you realized that your will is really spirits will for you when you allow it to come from the source deep within you anyway. We are not divorced from spirit. We are never separate. At every moment, we are spirit manifesting in flesh as fully as we can here and now, under the circumstances that we have created for ourselves. This is true for every moment that we exist ... for each and every one of us.

I continue to speak with a voice that comes forth from a place deep within me. I have called this place source. And, I have called this expression a stream of consciousness. But, what does that really mean? Source is clear, it is that point of origination. Whether it is a generation point or a receiving point, I have no means of knowing. The words just flow forth. I have no sense of creating them other then that of actually typing them into a keyboard. As to stream of consciousness, I differentiate that from a more simple stream of thoughts. There is something deeper going on here. There is a depth of awareness that is being conveyed in some manner. Hopefully it is in a manner that you can learn from ... that allows you to experience altered states of consciousness. However, I cannot guarantee that. I can only express what I am moved to express and trust that the expression will have whatever effect spirit intends. I would build the foundations for a new world. Yes, that is a very lofty enterprise. But, it is one that I feel myself up to. Will I do this alone? The sense is no, definitely not ... ultimately, this is a task for many cooperating together to create the necessary infrastructures. So, when will I start finding my place with respect to others? I don't know that yet. It seems that it is time. But, I have not been the best judge of the timing of things in the past. When it is the right time, it will happen. Until then, I can continue to do whatever I am moved to do, trusting that spirit herself is doing the moving. There are some things that I can do to assist the process. One, I can become more visible and take actions that expose more people to the Beyond Imagination works. Two, I can become more visible and take action to expose more people to me personally. The first of these will be easier than the later. But, it seems that both are necessary. The older I get, the more I realize that when it comes to our spiritual life, we have no real choice but to do whatever it takes to achieve what we must. There is a destiny that we came to fulfill, a destiny that will not be denied. Yet, it does not happen automatically ... it takes work, sometimes hard work, to make it happen. That is OK. There is nothing wrong with a healthy amount of work in our lives. It is often our work that gives our life its meaning.

This expression continues to be full of interesting quotes and passages. Yet, it springs forth spontaneously from a source that I know nothing of other than the expression that it has produced. Consciousness is clearly a mystery. Perhaps she is beyond anything that we will ever fathom. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't try. This might at least give us some rudimentary understanding that allows us to more fully express her in our lives.

It seems that benefit could result from engaging in dialog and interchange of ideas with others. To date, this has been a one way communication ... from spirit through source through me to these Beyond Imagination pages, lately to these Musings, to whoever would access and read them. There has been very little feedback in the eight years that the material has been on the WWW. I have no means of knowing how many people the Beyond Imagination material is reaching. There are page counters on a few pages at the site, but these only provide a rough indication of traffic. The main page seems to get about 2000 hits per year. This has been pretty study for the last several years. Whether those are new visitors or repeat visitors is unknown. Roughly 6 hits per day for one page is not a lot of traffic. There are few sites that link to Beyond Imagination. Perhaps that is an avenue to explore. Though, I hate the concept of reciprocal links. I think links should be unconditional. They should not be done with an expectation of a return. If I like a site, I have no problem linking to it. If I don't like a site, I probably don't care that they link to me anyway. Hmm ...

So, where do I find others with whom to engage in dialog and interchange of ideas? I had hoped that the fifty plus 2003 Quote Per Day calendars that I sent out this year would have found a few such people. However, we are halfway into February, and only one person has questioned me on one of the daily quotes. What does that tell me? The feedback from the universe is that I haven't found the right audience yet. Perhaps they aren't in my immediate work environment. Or, perhaps I need to translate the ideas into something more relevant to the people that I work with. Either way, there is currently a major disconnect. My current lifestyle doesn't put me in positions to engage in conversations with others very often. I still spend the vast majority of my time alone. I prefer it that way. It seems that as long as this is the case, it is going to stay that way. So, what does it take for me to prefer something else? And, not just to do it, but to do it sincerely? I don't know. The hermit nature, is second nature to me ... actually first nature. I have been doing it for so long that it is difficult to imagine living in any other way. Yet cooperative interdependence demands just that ... living in a whole new way, relating closely with others on many levels. I look forward to this as well. I have had brief tastes of what can be over the past 10 years. They have been enough to ignite a desire for more. There is a recognition that this is something that I need to do ... both for me personally, and for being able to carry out the mission that I came to perform.

15 February 2003

Once again, we find ourselves coming here to express. This has definitely become a habit of late. Yet, it is a benign habit overall ... one that results in a beneficial product that will hopefully be of service to humanity one day. If I'm lucky, perhaps even during my existence. However, I do not demand that such be the case. I chose to be of service in whatever way I am moved to be anyway. That is my existence now. I would do as spirit moves me to do. I live not of my own accord ... at least not solely of my own accord. How do I know that? Good question. The only answer I can offer is that I just do. That is enough for me. Judge me based on what I express and what I do consistent with that expression. That is all that I can ask. That is all that spirit asks of us.

It seems that I am meant to be a maverick. It is not meant for me to follow in the footsteps of others ... at least not for very long. I would make my own path through the wilderness of consciousness. Yet, I would have companions along the way as well. I have been going it alone for quite some time. It seems that it would be much more productive to engage with others of like mind and co-create something grander than any of us can conceive alone. We need to create a center for engaging in cooperative interdependent living at its finest. This takes commitment, and it takes resources. The first I am good at ... the second I could use some help on.

Nearly 10 years ago, in the very first musing, we spoke of building such a center. But, here we are a decade later, without having made any real progress toward its establishment. At least, no progress of which I am consciously aware. What goes on at other then conscious levels is another matter. But, there, we can only speculate at best. On the one hand, a decade is a brief moment in time ... on the other hand, it is an eternity. Why were we given a glimpse of what might be in that very first musing only to have it not come to pass for so long? There is a reason for everything. We were tapping into something special that very first day, a forecast of things to come. It didn't say when. The assumption was soon. But the answer to timing questions is always when the time is right. Apparently it hasn't been right yet ... otherwise the center would have been established already. Then again, perhaps it has, and I have just not been made aware of it yet. I had assumed that I would have a major role to play in the establishment of the center. But, that may or may not be. In the meantime, my role is as it has always been; to do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. That is what I expect of myself ... demand of myself. That is what keeps me coming here hour after hour, day after day. Yet, it is more than that. Obligation is one thing, but I truly love doing this. Here, I am able to express parts of myself that have no other avenue for expression. In doing so, I am able to find out more of whom that I AM and I am able to express more of whom that I AM. This is what has meaning to me ... the expression of spirit in flesh as fully as we can here and now. Everything else pales by comparison. How do I know that this is spirit expressing through me? Because that is the only thing there is that can express through us and because whatever it is that is expressing through me is far more than I know myself to be. In my reality framework the only thing bigger than me is spirit herself.

Can it really be less than a month shy of a decade since that first musing on 5 March 1993? The date is permanently etched in my memory. It was a spiritual birthday of sorts ... a day of emergence, a day when the outflow of metaphysical information began. Now, we probably have 4000 pages worth. For some, that might be a lifetimes worth of work. But, for me ... that is one decade of part time labor. It will be interesting to see what the next decade brings, especially with the Easter birthdays at the 4 and 9 year points from now (2007 and 2012) in the next decade. Further, 2012 is also the end of the Mayan calendar. Indeed, it will be interesting to see what will happen in the times ahead. There is a plan for the evolution of consciousness that is being manifested in flesh. We are the players in that drama. Our individual lives fit within the context of a larger whole. We did not make that whole, but we contribute to it with every aspect of our being. The whole is always greater than the sum of its parts. That is where the synergy of systems comes into play. Evolution is building more and more complex bodies in which consciousness can be housed and enfleshed. The greater and greater expression of spirit in flesh is the name of the game. But, it has to be in flesh, or it doesn't count.

What am I moved to do next? There is still a sense that it is time to do something new in bold new ways. What I have been doing hasn't been working. The bottom line is that I'm no closer to building the foundations for a new world now than I was a decade ago. Yes, I'm a different person than I was then. But, is the difference noticeable enough to make a difference to those around me. There, it seems like this is not the case yet. Though, that may be changing. Slowly, yes, but changing, nonetheless. Are these foundations even mine to build? The sense is yes, I would be 22:Master Builder. But, master builders typically work with whole crews of builders to get jobs done. Where do I find the others with whom I am meant to work?

I had assumed that I could put the word out at Beyond Imagination and those meant to work with me would be moved to find me. However, that was either an optimistic or naive assumption or I got the timing all wrong once again. At this point, all that I know is that the Beyond Imagination site has not generated the response that I would have hoped. I am not discouraged. I am still moved to express and to capture what is expressed through me at Beyond Imagination that any might experience what comes forth through me. Though, I am also motivated to repackage parts of the material and offer it as books to the public as well. Can I make any money from that? It depends on what kind of audience would care to experience these works. The book form is enough different than the electronic form that it might be worth the difference. The bottom line is that something is moving me to try it. Self publishing is only a little more expensive than making copies at Kinko’s and the products come out as real books that can be printed on demand within days. Is ego rearing its head here? Do I have something to gain by being a real author versus an internet one who simply freely posts what he writes for any to read? Part of me says it does not matter. But, another part says that I would like to derive some income from all the hours I spend in this endeavor and this is one way of doing that. Is it the right way? Is it a fair way? I am not considering denying anyone access to the material. I am simply offering to make it available in another more convenient format at a fair cost. Is the material good enough to sell many copies? Who knows? I believe it is good. But, that does not necessarily translate into there being a market for it. I've offered copies of works for sell in the past. In fact, I spent several hundred dollars in printing costs. However, in several years, only 3 people paid for copies of my work and they were all co-workers. I still have several copies of various Beyond Imagination works lying in boxes in my room. I ended up giving most away as gifts. What makes this any different? I don't know. It just feels different. The time is right somehow. That doesn't mean that ego is not a factor. It would be very nice to be a best selling author and be able to commit myself fulltime to writing. However, that is not my present reality. For now, halftime will have to do. I'm sure if we do that right, the universe will find a way to allow us to do more. That is the way universal law works. However, to engage it, we have to take the first step and do the thing that we love to do first ... and to it with all our heart and soul. This is how we tell the universe that we are serious.

16 February 2003

A new day has come once again. It does that, one day after the next, onward and onward. The expression of spirit continues as it will in my life. It has a prominent place. It always has ... but particularly so since 5 March 1993. That was when the wake up call came and I was moved to allow spirit to speak directly through me in a manner that it had never done before. The past decade of my life has been completely colored by that event and all of its ramifications. In fact, it seems that my entire life will be impacted by what happened then and more importantly how I reacted to it and how I allowed it to become an active force in my life. Judging by what has been able to come forth, it seems that I have been handling things well. Though, it also seems that what has worked for the past decade, may not work so well for the next. We can't afford to rest too long on past laurels. It is for us to proceed ever onward to new heights and depths of expression. Yes, that is an appropriate analogy. It is out of the depths of spirit that the heights of experience and expression come.

There is still a sense that massive change is in store in the immediate days ahead. How many days, I have no means of knowing. But there is an urgency that I need to start doing things differently. If we keep doing the same things in the same ways, we shall get the same results. It is folly to think otherwise. Change comes when we choose to do different things, or even similar things in different ways. Yes, that requires being willing to get out of our comfort zones for awhile. But, there is no rule that says life should be comfortable. It can be at times. And, perhaps that is a desirable objective. However, to grow we need to be willing to stretch. When we do this, we demonstrate that we are more than we knew ourselves to be. This is a powerful experience, one that we should engage in often. We are here to grow. We are here to learn whom that we are. And, we are here to express whom that we are as fully as we can. It has always been so. Though, these simple truths have been hidden from us. We don't need an elaborate religious systems to explain whom that we are. Deep down, we already know this. We just haven't been allowed to trust what we know. That can change far quicker than any can imagine. Further, it seems that the things necessary to allow it to change are already starting to manifest in our world. Consciousness herself is orchestrating the play. She will ensure that each detail is taken care of at the appropriate time.

What would I do differently? How would I live differently? How would I express differently? How would I choose to expend my time differently? These are all important questions. And, I'm sure, in time, I will have answers. But, for now, I am still moved to live much as I have lived and to continue to express here much as I have expressed, at least over the past 13 months. Will that change sometime soon? My sense is yes, it will. But, I don't know to what yet, nor when. The bottom line is that there is a sense that I am changing again ... and when I change, by definition the expression of whom that I AM must change as well. In fact, it is by the new expression that I will discover what I have become. At least, that seems to be how it works in my life. I know whom that I AM by the works that I am able to do. This expression, in particular, constitutes "works" that have literally blown me away, completely undermining my understanding of whom that I AM and what I am capable of doing ... or more precisely what spirit is capable of doing through me. Yet, who is the audience for this expression? There is at least one for whom it is meant. Are there more? Does it matter one way or the other? It seems that it shouldn't really matter. If spirit desires that the words communicated here reach others, then moving me to generate web pages each day to contain the material is sufficient to make it available to the connected part of the world anyway. All they have to do is find it. Here, I may be able to help by spreading the word as to what the Beyond Imagination site is and what it has to offer. Though, I find advertising to be quite distasteful overall. But, how else are people to know of my work other than word of mouth?

1000 hours per year x $100 / hour = $100,000 is the equivalent investment that I am putting into this work. But, who benefits from what I express? Clearly I do, but that doesn't really count. The next beneficiaries would be any who are moved to find and read this. But, how do they benefit? How does this expression make them any better people? How does it allow them to see themselves in a different light ... and perhaps to awaken and see things from a whole new perspective? How does it allow them to better see how they relate to others and see that the rightful role of everyone is to be of service to society in some manner that benefits both the individual and society? I don't expect others to give at the halftime = 1000 hours per year level ... though, there is nothing wrong with that if you can do it. We have spoken before of a tithe = 40/10 = 4 hours per week = 208 hours per year. This should be the minimum investment that we expect people to make for the betterment of society. This unleashes a tremendous amount of resources for social change if only we can harness them appropriately.

Should I be able to be paid for the investment of energy that I am making? It only seems fair. This use of my time is far more beneficial overall than my work time. And, I believe the product to ultimately be of far greater value. Then, why should I not be entitled to fair compensation for the effort that is expended. Yes, I understand volunteering to do spirit’s work. But, volunteerism only goes so far. At some point there needs to be some type of return on the investment of time and effort. It doesn't necessarily have to be money. But a service has been performed. There needs to be a balance of energy achieved.

17 February 2003

I will be working all of my days, regardless of my means. Work defines me. In many ways, it is what gives my life meaning. Right now, this expression is the most important work that I am doing. But, that is a value judgment on my part only, not yet based on any impact that the works have had on the world ... at least not that I am aware of. Various parts of the Beyond Imagination works have reached many thousands, so there is hope that by now they would have had some impact. They have definitely changed my life. And, as a result have had some impact on those few people whose lives I touch. Yes, few. As a loner, and effectively a hermit, I don't really get out much. Though, it seems that may be starting to change. Slowly yes, but definitely nonetheless.

What is it that I would do? That is the question on the forefront of my mind these days. It seems that it is time to do something new, something different. Whether this is at work, in this expression, or both remains to be seen. Though, my guess is that both is the right answer. But what would I do differently? How would I live differently? How would I express differently? What would I believe differently? These are all very important questions to ask. However, the bottom line answer seems to be to trust the spontaneous expression of whom that I AM ... and observe how these questions get answered via demonstration in my life. I came to be a wayshower. Wayshowers don't work solely in the field of the mind, they work in the field of action. They do things that others may see what is possible. And, what is possible for me, you can do also. It is a matter of preparing your consciousness and choosing to do it. Hopefully, this expression helps with the preparation. Here, you get to walk in the shoes of my consciousness for awhile. Yes, it may be some pretty strange walking, but I hope you find it interesting. Further, I hope it enables you to discover parts of yourself of which you were not aware. If so, I have done my job well. At least, that is one of the outcomes that I hope for. Another desired outcome is to encourage you to be all that you can be. That means never settling for less. That is a high mark to set. However, if we don't strive to be our best, we will never be able to realize that we are better and more capable than we had ever imagined.

We are consciousness enfleshed. It is high time we realized that and got on with the task of living as if that were true. At this point in time, the vast majority do not believe this. As a result, we live in a world where spirituality is sorely lacking. Or, at least, it is clearly not manifesting at anywhere near the level at which it could. We live in a world where spiritual problems abound. Hunger, poverty, crime, terrorism, war, ... all of these are spiritual problems. They exist because we have refused to take responsibility to care for one another collectively. Spirituality teaches us that all problems are our problems. What we do to another ultimately we do to ourselves. How do we fix this? We teach our children well, as the song says, and allow them to show us the way. Those being born today have an inner compass that guides them. They are the children of the Aquarian Age. They have a natural predisposition the type of spiritual expression we are speaking of. This is why the world can be transformed so quickly. The basic mechanisms required are literally being hardwired into the genes. For some of us, it seems softwiring was necessary. Brain chemistry had to be altered to allow us to reach our rightly place in the world. So it seems for me anyway. That is what my bipolar condition is, it is a difference in how the brain chemistry, the firmware of the brain functions. For me, this is positive. This difference allows everything you see here to get produced. It allows my consciousness to soar.

Spiritual expression is by far the most important aspect of my life. This stream of consciousness expression is indeed that meaningful to me. It is hard to imagine what my life would be like without it. I have no hobbies or interests that might fill the void. This is it for me. This is what I am meant to do. This is what I choose to give my life to, my time and my energies to. Is it a fair exchange? I don't really think of it in terms of being an exchange. This is what I must do. I know that from a place deep within me. Spiritual giving is unconditional, or it simply doesn't count. When we give conditionally, our reward occurs in whatever is exchanged. When we give unconditionally, our reward is abundance ... we get what we need when we need it. That doesn't mean that there will be a lot of excess. There may be, but much depends on our beliefs about our worthiness. Spirit can only give us what we feel we are worthy of receiving. To get more, we need to do something to increase our feeling of worthiness. This may be by giving more, or by realizing the true value of whom that we are.

The economy seems to put arbitrary constraints on the consumption and distribution of goods and services, in the process resulting in people not getting some of the things and services that they need because of insufficient funds to pay for them. At the same time, we have people who provide these goods and services out of work or underemployed because they cannot find enough customers or clients. This seems to be a very foolish economy overall. Though, despite its faults, it still seems to be one of the best around. We have more goods and services available at relatively affordable prices than any society in the world. The question is whether that is good enough or whether we can do better? So long as we have people living in hunger, and people living in poverty ... we definitely can do better. It is all a matter of having the resolve to do so.

How does society execute its resolve? The first answer that comes to mind is through its institutions, through its social organizations. The primarily such institution is its government. The primary spiritual institutions seem to be religions, though one might argue that many of these ceased to be spiritual organizations many centuries ago. Yes, that is a harsh judgment, but my sense is that it is an accurate one. As to government, in this country, we still stand on a Constitution from over two centuries ago and a few dozen amendments made over the years. It is not clear that this foundation is sound enough to deal with the complexities of government in a modern world where change is rampant and impacts of so many decisions are global. It seems that there should be some fundamental changes but I'm at a loss to say what they might be. One area to consider, however, is what we can expect of our individual leaders. Integrity goes without saying ... though, it is not clear that this comes with the territory for politicians, or for lawyers, the chief prior occupation of most politicians.

So, how do we make our government more representative of whom that we are as a people? Is that what we really want? Or, does it take a different set of skills to be a government servant? If so, we should be defining what skills that we are looking for and evaluating the various candidates against these skills and allow the most qualified to serve us? It is that simple. We get what we expect. If we allow the candidates to stack the deck and misrepresent their own abilities, it is our own fault. We need to learn from our mistakes and chose not to make the same ones again. But, it seems that we don't really learn. We've settled into basically two camps, the Democrats and the Republicans and we take whoever the party offers. Often we have a choice from among several, but even then, all have been identified and authorized by the party. Then, when it comes to the overall elections, most vote along party lines. We might as well not vote at all. This is something I personally have chosen for myself. I've completely divorced myself from the political system. I have never voted. At this time, my sense is that I never will. Yes, I had Civics class in school. And, yes, they stressed the importance of voting, calling it one of our civic duties. However, I didn't buy it then. And, I don't buy it now. To me, it doesn't matter what laws are passed, or who is elected for what offices. That is all being worked out behind the scenes and enacted physically. I can't think of any law or any political act in the past 30 years that has impacted my life or made me make particular choices. My world is in many ways disconnected from the consensus world. Disconnected is neither good nor bad. It just indicates that the overlap is limited at best. I live in a world of my own making. Is it an imaginary world? I would offer that it is far more than that, it is Beyond Imagination. That is what I was moved to call this expression when it began in 1993. The name is still appropriate today.

Nothing can stop me from doing the work that I came to do. This expression is part of that ... but only the first steps. If the timing above was right, I have another quarter of a century to accomplish my mission. That, literally, is an eternity. Just, look at how much has come forth in a decade ... then multiply by 2.5 and another 4 or more for the power of synergy. That would give us an order of magnitude more works than we've produced from 1993-2003. That is the minimum that I would expect from myself. If we add the synergy of working in cooperative interdependent ways with others, the sky's the limit. I would not venture to guess what we could produce collectively. In the meantime, it is for me to continue to do my part. And, for the time being, that still means coming here to express what would be expressed. I say here because this is indeed a place to me. I sit in front of a computer with Netscape Composer awaiting whatsoever I would type. But, also, here is a state of mind, a state of consciousness where I am in touch with a stream of consciousness that flows through source. How can we have a state of consciousness experiencing a stream of consciousness? It just does. I am an aware being and I experience this flow of words coming forth from source within me. I don't question the flow of the words. I simply accept them and relay them as I receive them. My job is very much akin to that of a scribe of olden times ... only, it seems that my consciousness is necessary for this communication to occur.

Why me? I've asked myself that many times. But, why not me? This question is just as valid. Obviously, I am the right person for the job in some manner. Otherwise, it simply wouldn't be me expressing in this manner. It is that simple. This expression is a fact. I've had to confront that fact for nearly a decade now. But, that was not enough for me. I desire to know what it is that I am to do with all of this. Recording it and posting it on the WWW is all well and good. But, the bottom line, is that this does not seem to have worked. It has not resulted in the building of foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. And this is what I have said that Beyond Imagination is here to do. So, what does it take for us to actually do what we say we are here to do? The time for feeble attempts is over. It is time for concerted action aligned to achieve specific ends. But, what actions would we take? And, what ends do we desire to achieve? We would build a better world. We would build a true society, where individuality is not lost, but is respected and worshipped. Yes, worshipped. There is a spark of spirit, a soul, in every individual. That spark needs to be treated with dignity and given everything it needs to develop into all that it can be. In return, the individual has an obligation to use their god given talents and abilities in service to society in some way.

What can I do differently? How do I start to involve others in my endeavors? Who should I involve in my endeavors? Where do I find those with whom I am meant to work? Do I need to find them, or will they find me? More questions. Again, I do not have the answers but I sense they will be forthcoming soon. This expression is still one of my biggest means of advertising what Beyond Imagination is about and my search for kindred spirits to work with on this endeavor.

18 February 2002

Where did I learn this language of numbers? Much of it just came to me. I allow my intuition to play with things and guide me where it will. I am fascinated by the connections it makes and by the meanings that it finds for things. At first, I was skeptical. But, the more I did it, the more I found the result to be useful. Then, I was hooked. This was a new way of seeing the world, a way that went beyond anything that I was ever taught. I was captivated ... and grateful that I had been chosen for such an experience. Yes, chosen. My sense is that I somehow had to have been ready for all of this to happen to me. I had to attract it into my life. I had to manifest it as part of my reality. No, I was not consciously aware of doing all of this at the time. But I was aware of what I was experiencing and I knew that it was far from what any would consider to be normal. That did not bother me. My experience is what it is. I do not need to judge it against what another does or experiences. It is enough for me to be all that I can be and live up to my potential. At times, I may not even know what that is. But there is an inner guide that knows. It is not fooled by any attempts that are less than the best that we have to offer. Though, there is a concept of good enough that applies in many circumstances. We need to learn under what circumstances good enough is good enough so that we can conserve our resources for doing those things that we are passionate about, those things that consume our heart and soul. For me, this expression is still one of those things. That does not mean that it will always be. But, it is right now, and that is what matters in the moment. It is difficult to tell what the morrow will bring. I have not been very good at predicting it anyway. Perhaps that is because I have no need to know. Those things that I need to know are the things relevant to carrying out my mission. And, even then, I only need to know enough to take the next step. Thus far, consciousness has assured that I would have everything that I needed to do what I need to do in each moment. My biggest obstacle is getting in my own way at times. Though, it seems that in this area, I am starting to see some breakthroughs as well. I am becoming less uncomfortable interacting with others. To say that I am completely comfortable would be going a bit too far. But, the trend is moving in the right direction. I am more comfortable with whom that I AM than I have ever been in my life and this is increasing daily. That is good. It can only lead to more positive relationships with others. The more comfortable that I am, the easier it is to share of whom that I AM. But sharing is a two-way process, a give and a take, an exchange between two people. Here, I am operating in foreign territory for me, at least in this existence.

My sharing for the most part is an anonymous opening of whom that I AM to any who might find and read these pages. Within hours at this site, you will know more about me than all but a dozen or so people in the world. That is how sheltered and isolated of a life I have lived. It seems that such was necessary for me to learn what I have learned and become what I have become. As such, I consider that to be good. I am proud of what I have become. I am also proud of all that has been expressed through me over the past decade. These works show signs of a creative genius at work ... one that is beyond what I know myself to be. Yet, the works were able to come forth through me. My consciousness was able to deliver them. That says something about my level of awareness as well. Though, I know of no scales for measuring levels of awareness. I know that I am more aware now than I was 14 months ago before the frequency of musings increased so dramatically. Actually, I am more aware this year than I was last year. Or, more correctly, it seems that I am aware in a different way. Though, I don't know how to describe what is different about it other than that there is more of a directness now and more of a sense of purpose.

This expression continuously challenges what I know myself to be. Just when I think that I've figured it out, something more comes through that blows me away. Consciousness won't be contained within our arbitrary boundaries for very long. She stretches them and challenges them at every turn. The watchword is freedom. Yet, within that freedom is sufficient structure to create the foundations for the society. There is a balancing act that is going on. Too much freedom and we have chaos. Too much structure and we lack the flexibility needed to evolve and adapt ... two important characteristics required for life to exist. So how do we strike a happy medium between freedom and structure in society? We don't need a single answer that applies to everyone. We could have a spectrum and a bell curve with some people at the extremes and most lying somewhere in the middle. Clearly, I'm one of those types who don't need a lot of structure. I would set my own rules and march to the beat of my own drum. But, there are many who need to have clearly defined rules and roles to play in society. Actually, perhaps this is starting to change. The sense is that people are starting to wake up and realize that the reality game they are playing is not the same as that of their parents. This is somewhat of a recent phenomenon. It is only in the past couple of generations that the world has changed so rapidly that within a generation [20 years] it was a dramatically different world. There are no signs that this rate of change is going to cease anytime soon. Though, it seems that our ability to process the changes are coming close to being saturated. The saving grace is one of being able to assign priorities to where we apply our time and attention. This control over what we focus on ultimately determines what we experience. When we change our focus, we change our experience. The main conscious and subconscious control mechanism we have over our focus is our belief systems. So, it all comes down to what we believe. We experience what we believe. Some people say "I'll believe it when I see it" ... but that is not the way of the metaphysician. We know that it is the belief that comes first. We shall see what we believe that we shall see. It is that simple. However, we need to make sure that we don't have conflicting beliefs getting in our way.

I was just thinking ... for several thousand dollars and several months of effort, I could have as many as a dozen Beyond Imagination books in print. At this point, I don't have the money available, but there is nothing preventing me from putting in the effort. But, what's the point? Why make the works ready if I'm not in a position to do anything with them? All that I can say is that there is something moving me to do this now. Perhaps by the time I am done, the resources will somehow or another become available. If it is meant to be, it will indeed happen. In fact, there is noting I can do to stop it. I trust spirit. I wouldn't be moved in this manner if there wasn't something right about it. Then again, I have followed false leads before ... doing things that I thought would have particular results, only to see them fail dismally. Perhaps this is just another one of these. Perhaps the phrase for your eyes only truly does apply. Though, I still find it hard to believe that spirit would do all of this for me. Then again, if you are reading this, it hasn't been only for my eyes after all.

19 February 2003

Again we come to this special place where consciousness graces us with her presence. Actually, it is not only here that this happens, it is everywhere. Consciousness animates us always. It is just that we are not always aware of her presence within us. Though it is always there waiting to be tapped, if only we would make the effort and pay attention to the inner source through which she speaks to us. She also speaks to us through the meaning of the reality that we experience. But, here, we have a major role to play ... for we determine much of the meaning that gets applied to what we experience. Yes, we control the reality that we experience that much. We literally create it. For most, this is an other than conscious process. But, it doesn't have to be. It can be made conscious, or at least semi-conscious. It seems to require way too much work to make it fully conscious. It is far easier to trust that there are parts of ourselves that are working behind the scenes that are fully capable of taking care of the details of reality creation. Yes, that is a leap of faith. But, when we look at our lives, they are indeed miraculous. There is so much that we do competently in other than conscious ways. We walk, we talk, we see, we hear, we think, we communicate ... these are only a few of the things we do daily virtually automatically. Yet, most of them are a mystery when it comes down to how we are really able to do them. That is OK. That doesn't keep us from performing these things and doing them well.

Spent some time getting another one of my works ready for publication, Reality Creation 1010. That remains one of the most interesting works that has come forth ... nearly 50 pages of complex and original metaphysical material in a span of 10 days. In the over 9 years since it was generated, there has been nothing else of a similar nature. We've had periods where close to that much material has been expressed in that short of a time span ... but the material wasn't orchestrated into a cohesive whole as it was in that case. Can I produce such works again? The sense is yes. What I can do once, I can do again. But, how do I free myself to be able to focus that much of my effort in such a condensed period of time ... and further, what topic would I write about? It seems that such is not for me to define. Reality Creation 1010 just came through. I didn't have to do anything to make it happen other than to give in to the urge to sit and to write what came to mind. It organized itself. It was as if I was reading something that was already finished. To some degree, this expression is that way as well. It just happens as it is meant to happen. I just allow it to flow where it will. I don't have to force it in any way or constrain it or even direct it. But, is it any good? I believe that it is. It captivates my attention anyway. My sense is that it will do this for others as well. How many others, I have no way to know. But, there must be ways to find out. There must be ways to get my works out to an audience that can evaluate their worth and utility. This doesn't have to be a large audience, though I wouldn't mind if it was. I'm not sure that my style of writing is such that it would be of interest to many. But, even 1 in a thousand is 300,000 people in this country. Is my writing of a nature that 1 in 1000 people would find it informative and interesting enough to read. My gut feel is yes. This number should be easy to achieve. The difficult part is how to find this one hundredth of one percent of the population. How do I find them, or what can I do to make it easier for them to find me? The Beyond Imagination website is a starting point. But at 12,000 hits to the main page in 7 years, we clearly aren't reaching our 300,000 yet. In fact, at this rate, it will take two centuries. So, it is time to do something different. I still have nearly a thousand business cards that I was moved to create around 1995. Everything I do, I do for a reason. Though, it may take some time for that reason to reveal itself in my life. Also, for many things, I don't care to even know the reason. It is enough that I am moved to do something. I trust that spirit is guiding me at every step, and each step is as it needs to be.

I still can't shake this feeling of being moved to do something different. There is a sense that I am supposed to be reaching a much larger audience than I have begun to reach. How I, essentially a hermit, go about doing that is another matter ... but if it is meant to be, there will be a way. I trust that I will be moved to do what is necessary. Though, it doesn't hurt to apply myself and play a more active role in this area. Earlier, we talked about reaching one person per one thousand. That still seems to be a reasonable goal. That means reaching approximately 300,000 in this country or 6,000,000 in the world. The later number seems to be a staggering figure. Though if we reach the first objective ... it seems that the impacts will definitely be felt on a larger scale worldwide. The difference between the two numbers is only a factor of 20. The percentage of the population is the same. Only the population base is different. Yes, the grandiosity is showing forth again. But, my life is meant to have world impact. And, this is what is meant by world impact.

What if this doesn't come to pass? Will I be disappointed? What can I say? All that I can do is my best. What happens as a result of that happens. Besides, it is not me doing this ... it is spirit doing this through me. That makes all the difference in the world. I have chosen to give my life in service to spirit. My primary means of doing that at this time is here in this very expression. I still insist on doing things on my own terms. I freely give of my time and my energy in what I believe to be an endeavor that is of service to spirit, to society, and to the world. But, it is not for me to judge what is of service and what is not. That is for the recipient of the service to determine. Though, in this case, I am one of the chief recipients of the service. In some cases, perhaps even the sole recipient. It is not clear what draws people to this expression and what makes them return. For over a year, I have been coming back to express and post what I express nearly daily. But, I strongly doubt that I have readers who frequent the site enough to stay current with the musings. Why should that be? Why haven't I developed even a handful of regulars by now who follow this stream of consciousness expression? For your eyes only ... of course, that phrase would come up again. Could that indeed be the answer?

Why does my life have to be so grand? Why does my life's impact have to be so great? Why can't I be just like everyone else? The answer is simple ... because I am not like everyone else. I came to perform a mission. I came with the precise skills and abilities necessary to accomplish that mission. I created the appropriate reality and learning experiences to grow into whom that I AM so that I could reach this point where I am ready to freely and willingly execute my responsibilities. This required reaching the level of awareness that I have reached and experiencing the states of consciousness that I have experienced. This was no easy matter. The training started when I was young and occurred at an accelerated pace all through my life. Because I was so isolated, I had no way of knowing how different this was than the way that most people experienced their lives. Even now, I have virtually no basis for comparison. My interactions with others have still been relatively minimal. In particular, they have not delved into such areas as how my experience of awareness and states of consciousness differed from or were similar to their own. Nor did I have any classes that dealt with these topics. One must ask why? How can such important topics be ignored by the traditional curriculum in our schools? Do we just not know enough to teach anything useful in these areas? Perhaps that is it. But, if so, that is a sad commentary on the educational system ... that it focuses so much on filling our minds with the whats that it forgets about the hows and the whys, about the very nature of the mind and the consciousness that learns the whats.

There is no going backward. Once you have accepted a role, once you have accepted an earthly incarnation, the wheels of destiny are set in motion. Things happen to ensure that destiny is fulfilled. Part of this is conscious, but much of it occurs on other than conscious levels. It matters not. What must happen, happens. What we learn from that, what we experience from that is our choice. Reality lies primarily in the meaning that we assign to what we experience. When we change the meaning, we effectively change the experience and the reality. It is that simple. The process of assigning meaning to things, events, symbols, etc ... is that powerful. Because of this, it is something that we should pay attention to. This is especially true if we don't like what we are experiencing. This doesn't mean that we are stuck with the kinds of things that have been happening in the past. These don't have to keep happening in the future. If they do keep happening, it is generally because we have beliefs that do not serve us. Some of these may involve self worth and what we believe we deserve to have happen to us. If we want things to change, we need to fix the faulty beliefs by uprooting them and replacing them with more empowering ones. Feel free to consider the realm of beliefs as a playground. Believe firmly while you believe, but evaluate utility often, and be willing to change beliefs frequently should you encounter more promising ones. With beliefs, in many cases, you don't know what you'll get until you try. But, it is definitely worth trying. Further, beliefs lie in the realm of the unknown. If we already know something to be true or false, there is no room for belief.

We continue to pump out target rich material in terms of the stuff from which best quotes may be selected. How is it that we can do this day after day, week after week, month after month? All of this comes forth without forethought, without planning, without organization, and without editing. It continues to amaze me that source can be this creative and original. But, the words speak for themselves. There is an intelligence that is revealed here that is beyond anything that I would claim for myself. There is a wisdom that is expressed here that is wise far beyond my years, at least in this existence. If all of this is coming from other than conscious parts of me, then that says a lot in and of itself. It says that we are far more than we know ourselves to be. This stream of consciousness expression is a testament as to just how much more. However, if parts of this are coming from connections to sources that are distinct from us, that says a lot as well. Everything in me says this later alternative is false. There is only ONE consciousness from which we all spring. The partitions within that ONE consciousness are illusory separations that permit us to experience reality as we do.

20 February 2003

The days continue to march on, and we continue to express what spirit would have us express. It is such an easy process, serving as a vessel through which consciousness works. I don't have to think about it. I simply have to choose to allow it to happen. I have to allow myself to be carried away as it were by spirit. Though, if one is going to be carried away, one could do far worse than to have spirit herself doing the carrying. I call this expression "Musings of a Spiritual Warrior". Clearly there is a muse that guides what is expressed here. And, there is no doubt that I am by nature and predisposition a spiritual being. But, what is it that makes me a warrior? With whom or against what do I battle? One answer might be against illusion. But, I exist within illusion much to the same degree as anyone else so long as I occupy a physical form. We don't really need our explorers to be warriors, though they may at times need to battle against the elements, and against those that they meet in their travels to survive.

Our beliefs about what is possible have changed a lot in the past century. There is every reason to believe that we have only experience the tip of the iceberg. Change is the name of the game now. Massive change on many fronts simultaneously. We need to decide personally which changes we will keep up with and which we will leave below our radar scope. There simply is not enough time to deal with everything. There is simply too much information for anyone to process it anymore. We need to divide and conquer ... trusting one another to do the parts that are allocated to each of us? But, who is responsible for doing the allocation to begin with? Who is in overall control? It is not clear that this resides in any one person or group anymore. Rather, it may be a collective phenomenon that arises from a group cooperating on a common endeavor.

I continue to speak with a voice that is only partially mine. Yes, it is my mind from which the instructions to type these words come. But, what is it that fills my mind? That is a fundamental question about how consciousness expresses in flesh. Yet, is there anyone who is even close to knowing the answer? My sense is no, there isn't. I have chosen to point to this essence inside that I call source as the place of origination for all of this. But, naming something only recognizes that something exists, it doesn't show that one understands what has been named. Understanding is a higher level function of the mind. Further, it is not clear that understanding is required in all cases. Knowing that something exists, and knowing enough to be able to use it effectively is often enough. That, and having the courage to apply what we know in service to others. It is here that we distinguish ourselves. It is here that we make our mark on the world. And, making a positive difference is what it is all about. On my own, I would be the beneficent dictator ... doing those things that spirit moves me to do for the good of society. But, we need to be careful here. Who ultimately judges what is for the good of society? That should be society's call to make, but how does she do this in practical terms? How do we determine the pros and cons of any given action? How do we know when our assessment is complete? I have always operated under the premise that we just know. We look at the situation, and the answer is intuitively obvious. This may be how it works for me. However, most don't seem graced by this same sense of intuition. That gets back to the idea of purpose ... of what my role in society is. This inner compass is one of the gifts that I have been given with which to navigate through life ... and to help guide the way for others. My way is still only a way, it is NOT the way. Yet, as ways go, it is just as valid as any other, and far more documented than many. However, if you are looking to be taken to a specific place ... then this is probably not what you are looking for. However, if you are looking to experience different states of consciousness in a fairly safe manner, then Beyond Imagination has much to offer you.

These are the flights of fancy that I allow my mind to venture on. Generally, they lead to discoveries that have some utility ... however, if you don't venture out and see, you just won't know. I've chosen to give myself free reign on these adventures of consciousness. I enjoy where they take me. Further, I enjoy what I become as a result of what I experience. This is powerful stuff that we are talking about here. Consciousness is not something to be taken lightly. We are consciousness expressing in flesh though many see this upside down, seeing themselves as animals who happened to evolve enough to possess consciousness. The collective reality that we experience is a direct indication of the degree of our collective spiritual awareness. Right now, that leaves a lot to be desired. There is much room for improvement. The Aquarian Age demands such improvement and we will indeed evolve in that direction naturally. There will be spiritual forces to do so that we simply can't resist. That doesn't mean that we don't have free will. Free will doesn't mean that the force of gravity doesn't apply to us. Why should spiritual forces be any different?

So, it is time to create a different future. The path to that future starts with the steps that we take here and now in the present. Self worth is critical to manifesting abundance in our lives. Unless we feel worthy ... unless we believe ourself to be worthy, we will not attract abundance into our lives. We will continue to get by as we have always gotten by. Until we find that no longer acceptable, we will not be moved to change it. And, change it we must ... if we are to receive the spiritual inheritance of abundance that is our birthright as spirit manifesting in flesh.

21 February 2003

The quote for today is: "Everything is spirit. Everything is godstuff." Truth, simply and elegantly expressed. There is nothing but godstuff, there is nothing but spirit in expression. Literally, nothing. So, how do we fashion this godstuff into the stuff of our hopes and our dreams? Yes, that is the question at hand ... that is what creators do after all, and that is what we are - creators. Some of us may be more experienced at this than others. But, the very fact that we are incarnated into human form puts us pretty high up there on the scale ... at least in terms of our potential. How we use what we've been given is another matter. That is our choice. And, unfortunately, many seem to make less than optimum choices and thus do not live up to their potential. Much of this is not their fault. As a society, we have not done our part to establish a social infrastructure that encourages and brings out the best in individuals. This is part of what we are talking about when we speak of building the foundations for a new world. We need a supportive infrastructure at the core of society that recognizes the value and importance of each individual. This includes an acknowledgment and even a celebration of individual differences. Yes, I have socialist tendencies, but I am not your typical socialist. Actually, I am not your typical anything that I know of. But then, I don't get out much ... so I have no means of knowing how this expression relates to other ideas and bodies of material that are already out there.

Perhaps someday that will change. Perhaps someday I will be part of the cooperative society that I so desire to create. It seems that one way or another, we will know in time. What is meant to be, will be. Of that I can be certain. It's just that at this time I have no means of knowing what that will be. That is OK. Life is meant to be a mystery. As such, uncertainty is a natural part of day to day existence. One learns to become comfortable with the unknown. It doesn't have to be a scary and frightening thing. It is a place we go to explore. It is a place we go to engage our abilities and talents. This is a good thing. No, we don't need everyone engaged in this manner, just as we don't need everyone to be lawyers or doctors or basketball players or nurses or grocery clerks. We need enough people employed in any endeavor to get the job that needs to be done, done ... no more and no less. Free enterprise is supposed to ensure that this happens. But, it is not clear that it does. First, it is not clear that people are making sufficient income to purchase the goods and services that they need. Though, part of this may be because they are being persuaded to purchase goods and services that they may not really need. Yet, who is to determine what someone needs and what they don't need? This definitely conflicts with any notions that we have of individual free will. However, we allow advertisers to effectively wage war against potential consumers to sell their wares ... and we do nothing to prepare the consumers to combat the tactics that are being used against them. What is fair about that? There is nothing that say that the economic system is fair. The bottom line is profits. Price is driven not by value, but by whatever the market will bear.

We call ourselves a developed nation, but we are far from being an enlightened nation. What does it take to be wise? We are still a young nation, with only 226 years since our Declaration of Independence. Some nations have histories stretching back several thousands of years. But, we have come a long way in that time. And, we were born as a melting pot that brought together peoples from many nations throughout the world to create a new structure, a new form of government, the likes of which had not been tried before. By most accounts, we have succeeded in our endeavor. We are arguably the strongest and the greatest nation that the world has ever known. Oh, there have been empires that have spanned greater portions of the world. But, none with the technology and wealth of information that we have at our disposal ... and none whose masses have had anywhere near the present average standard of living in this country.

22 February 2003

We never know where this stream of consciousness is going to carry us. That is one of the good things about it. Onward the adventure takes us. The expression makes the unmanifest manifest. These very words go from being potential expression to being actual expression. And, I am the lucky one that gets to see and participate in it all. Yes, I consider myself to be incredibly lucky to be able to witness all of this. It seems that very few get to experience consciousness expressing in this fashion. How few, I have no way of knowing. Thoreau spoke of one in one million capable of effective intellectual exertion, and one in one hundred million capable of living a poetic or divine life. These are very low numbers. It is not clear that I fall into such an august group. But maybe, just maybe.

I continue to express whatever consciousness would have me express. I say that as if consciousness is some separate thing from whom that I AM. Well, is she or is she not? That is a good question. When I speak of consciousness, I go directly to a source that is deep inside me, a source through which I connect to spirit, the ONE consciousness. I experience her as feminine. I don't know why, that is just my experience. The words or the energy that gets translated into these words comes forth through that source and fills me mind, and I type what I hear. So, is this me generating all of this? I would have to answer, yes and no. It is me, but I have some help from this unseen source. Could this source be completely within my own mind? I have to admit, yes, that is indeed a possibility. Regardless, any separation between source and I is strictly illusion. So, ultimately, I guess that means I continue to express what I would express. Further, I choose to do so daily. There is something important about this realization. I am consciousness in expression. We all are consciousness in expression. But, we also are us in expression. It helps if these two ideas are congruent with each other. It helps if what consciousness wants and what we want are compatible with one another.

At what point do we jump from independence to interdependence? This is a major step, a breakpoint in the way we think about society. Yet, it is not clear that our organizations are taking this into consideration. It is not clear that we have realized that cooperative interdependence is the only way to survive and thrive in the times ahead. How close to the brink of disaster will we have to come to realize this? Right now, we stand poised on the brink of war. The very idea that in this day and age we would have to resort to war to settle our differences is horrible. Yet, that is where we stand in February of 2003.

How do we declare our Cooperative Interdependence? It is not like Independence, where we tell the King that we are free and refuse to be subject to you any longer. Cooperative Interdependence is a set of relationships between the parts within the whole which are recognized as being necessary for the whole to keep functioning. Remove the parts, or change their relationships, and the whole is impacted. What does it mean to declare our Cooperative Interdependence? We realize that we are all interconnected and interdependent upon one another and we choose to cooperate for the individual and common good. Note that it is important to keep the individual good in the equation. It is OK for some to choose to lose themselves in service to their fellow beings, but this should not be the norm. Individual needs should be met as well as societal ones.

How do I know that these same thoughts haven't been experienced and captured by others already? The bottom line is that I don't. There is no time to do the research necessary to see if anything like this might have been expressed. I know that it is unlike anything that I have ever read ... and I consider myself to be fairly well read, at least in the area of metaphysics. Also, even if similar thoughts have come forth, there is some reason I am being moved to capture them in this manner at this time. Everything happens for a reason in my world ... and generally, for a spiritual reason.

There is a sense that my world is about to expand dramatically. I don't know how long it will take. As I wrote that, the answer in my head was: before the year is out. Interesting. If it takes a few months to publish a book, that timing could indeed be reasonable. Pluto square to my natal Sun is definitely having fun in my life. There were other outer planet transits coming up as well. That's OK, one day at a time, one step after the next ... and we'll get to a destination beyond anything we've ever dreamed.

23 February 2003

It is wonderful to be able to use what I consider to be my greatest gifts and talents in service to spirit, and ultimately in service to my society and my world. It does not matter that few, if any, recognize the service that I am providing. It is enough that I know, and that spirit herself knows. Though, at some point I would hope to expand my span of influence to other kindred spirits so that we might cooperate in an interdependent way to create something far grander than any of us are as individuals. That is what an organization or a society should be. It is not clear that we have created structures that live up to this yet. Though, there have been noble attempts.

What would I do next? As always, the answer is whatever I am moved to do. Generally, I don't know what that is until it is time to do it. I have not be granted the foreknowledge to see what might come. Oh, I have a high level vision of a utopian world in general terms. But, the specifics are lacking, as is the particular role that I am to play in manifesting the vision. Perhaps that is OK. Perhaps such visions should be a bit fuzzy. Then again, something suggests no, they should be crystal clear. In fact, the clearer, the more likely they are to be manifested as envisioned. But, the saying "this or something better for the good of all concerned" keeps coming to mind. I don't necessarily know what is best ... but spirit does, and we need to allow her to work her will in our affairs. However, she will only do this if we invite her to do so. She does not force her way into our lives. She waits until we invite her.

Where does all of this come from? What is this thing that I call source? Is there an origination point within my brain that is capable of doing all of this? If so, it works in ways that are not conscious. I don't know what material is going to come forth when I sit down to write. Then again, when I speak, I don't know what word is going to come next as I am speaking until it happens. The process is spontaneous. I trust that it will happen naturally. I don't question how it happens or why it happens. It is enough to know that it happens and to capture it as I do. Is it me? Is it other than me? Is it consciousness or spirit herself speaking through me? I believe so. But, perhaps I will never know for certain. The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter. The expression is what it is. Judge it based solely on its content and utility. I believe you will find it to be an original work. It is different from anything else that I have ever read anyway. For me, that is a big part of its attraction. Here, consciousness is recorded at play in a way that has not been captured in this way before. That allows me to go back and revisit where my consciousness has been. However, that also allows you to walk in the steps of my consciousness as well. I'm sure that you will find it to be interesting walking to say the least. I'm a bit free with the reigns and allow myself to venture to the edges of the unknown at times ... perhaps a little too close for comforts sake for some of you, and perhaps treading on the very edge of sanity at times. But, as far as I can tell, I am indeed sane. Oh, I am manic at times, even with my bipolar medications ... even highly manic occasionally. However, I recognize when I am in these states of mind and I do not find them to be debilitating in the least. If anything, they are positive and powerful states for me. I do some of my best work when I am flying high in consciousness. That is what the mania is for me, a state in which my consciousness is soaring ... perhaps too much for its own good. Yet, bipolar is part of my nature. I cannot turn it off. The medications can control the extremes of the swings, but even the doctors don't know how and why the medications work. In fact, different medications work or don't work for different patients. We need to be careful when we play with consciousness, for we truly are playing with fire ... the fire of spirit.

I still find it interesting that quotable material can come forth each day. It is not like I have to work at it. I don't spend hours trying to come up with a few good quotes for the day. I just freely express whatever would come forth ... and the quotes just seem to be there. It is as if they already exist out there somewhere and I am just reading them and getting them down on paper ... or on the screen as it were. What accounts for this? What about my life is such that I am in a position of being able to do this now? Just a few years ago ... there were very few musings being generated at all. That went on for most of 1998 through the end of 2001. The bottom line is that why now does not really matter. What does matter is that it is now ... and that while I am moved to express, I need to express as fully and as often as I can. We can worry about what to do with it all later when the lean times come again. That is, assuming that such times will indeed come again. Yes, things tend to happen in cycles. However, this seems to be a new phase of my life, so the cycles of the past do not necessarily apply any longer.

There is a strong sense that who I am at the end of this year will be a far cry from who I was at the beginning. Yes, it is to be one of those kinds of years for me ... definitely a year of destiny. Yet, it is a destiny that I have to do my part to make manifest. It will not happen by itself. That is not to say that the forces of spirit do not stand ready to do their part as well. However, they will only engage to the degree that I engage. I am not used to having to exert my will. It seems that this needs to change. I have realized that my will is for the good of spirit, society, and the world. It is time that I engage it as the powerful tool that it is to manifest that good. This may not be easy to do at first. But, the fate of the world is dependent on individuals exercising their free will in a manner aligned with the higher will of spirit. We do this one person at a time by demonstrating what is possible when individuals find their rightful place in the scheme of things, in the plan of consciousness.

Ever onward this expression goes taking us to wherever consciousness would carry us. It is interesting that we know so little about consciousness. We know so little about the mind and how it functions. We know so little about the brain and how it functions. Oh, we know more than we ever have before. And, each day, it seems that we are learning more. But, overall, we have limited understanding of how we think, and even less understanding of what makes us conscious and aware, especially spiritually aware. The basic grey matter in the brain of a genius and an idiot is nearly the same. Yet, their abilities are orders of magnitude different. Perhaps my own ignorance is showing through here. Perhaps others have published works that document some of this. Perhaps collectively we know more than I am aware that we know. It would surprise me. But, it would be a very pleasant surprise. There are so many of us doing so many different things that it is difficult to find and stay connected with those whose works are related to ours. Yet, it seems that this is what we must do if we are to efficiently push the envelope collectively. This gets back to the idea of what is our part? What is our task to do? It seems that we have to do more than do something. In my case, for example, the doing is expressing here and posting the work on the WWW. But, that no longer seems to be enough. It seems that part of my task is to somehow tie what I have expressed to the collective body of works somehow. I don't even know where to start doing that yet. Though, publishing a book seems to be connected to that somehow. Interesting. So where do I go to tie what I have done to what others have done? Neale Donald Walsch and Conversations with God comes to mind. His format is very different but the overall message is very similar. It is worth a try to establish contact, however he is very busy with his own endeavors. I don't see Best Passages from 2002 Musings as a bestseller. Though, I do think there is a sizeable audience that will enjoy reading it and find value in the passages that are captured. How big ... who knows?

24 February 2003

Again the familiar blank slate awaits ... or rather the nearly blank template. I start each musing by saving the previous days musing under a new name, changing the date and selecting and deleting the text until the parting phrases. Then, it is a matter of filling the space with whatever would come forth next. One thing is certain, if I sit in front of the terminal, I can be assured that something will flow forth. Sometimes it flows more easily than at other times. Also, sometimes it is deeper, while at other times it is more at the surface level of my mind. Regardless, it comes forth as it does, as a stream of consciousness expression. This is good in some respects. It means that I don't have to go back and rearrange it or edit it to turn it into a finished product. It is what it is. The only intent I have in expressing it is to demonstrate what can be expressed. It seems that we have far too few cases showing consciousness in expression. What is captured here is important somehow, primarily because of the example that it provides of what can be expressed. Hopefully, in sharing this stream of consciousness, you will be encouraged to share your own stream with others as well. Each of us has valuable experience to share. It is a matter of having the resolve, the discipline, and the courage to share it.

The greatest thing that we can share is whom that we are. And, more than anything else, we are consciousness/ spirit enfleshed. It has always been thus, hard as that may be to believe. How often do we need to be reminded to know thyself ... before we will take heed and do what it takes to do just that? It seems that we make the process of living far more difficult than it needs to be. Why do we choose to compete when we could choose to cooperate and make things better for everyone? Yes, this requires getting beyond the me/my/I mentality to a us/our/we perspective. This is not an easy thing to do for many. If it were easy and beneficial, we would have already found a way to make it happen. But, we still live in a society where the individual is king. So long as this remains so, we will find it difficult to create the structures that are necessary as the very foundations for society. Note that I said difficult, not impossible. I am a case in point. My experience to date has illustrated this point completely. I have been the consummate individual, barely participating in society at all. Yet, I have a deep concern for society anyway. How can that be? From whence did this come? All that I know is that it comes from deep within me. I know that my life is meant to be of service, great service to spirit, society, and the world ... in that order. This is so engrained in whom that I AM, that I would consider my life to be a failure if it did not have world impact in some way. That is a lot to ask of anyone. Indeed, it is. But, it is something that I demand of myself. At the very least, I need to go down trying. In the end, I need to be able to say that I did my best to do what I could do.

One day at a time. That is how our life unfolds. That is how our destiny manifests. It helps if we learn to go with the flow. That doesn't mean that we don't need to take action to alter the course at times. However, in general, we can trust that the very processes of life are working as they are meant to work in our lives. Then again, this depend on how well we like how our lives are unfolding. If we don't like what we are experiencing, it is time to start questioning why we are creating that reality for ourselves ... for indeed, we are choosing and creating the reality that we experience at some level, regardless of whether we like that reality or not. It is time for us to make this process more conscious so that we can start creating more of the reality we prefer, and eliminate those things we don't like. This is always within our power to do. We are the creators of our reality, we are the masters of our fate. However, much of this is done at other than conscious levels unless we expressly take conscious control over the processes. Even then, we only want loose control. Much of the details of the inner workings of reality creation are superconscious. It is not clear the conscious mind could ever understand them. We only need enough control to steer the ship of the self to where we want it to go. That is, assuming that we have some idea as to where we want it to go. For many of us, myself included, this is not always clear.

How do we live in the moment yet plan for the future? This seems to be a contradiction in behaviors. Yet, is it? If I plant an acorn in the moment, I do so with the vision of the oak tree it will ultimately be in the future. Thus, I avoid planting it too close to structures or to other trees. Similarly, many of our activities in the present can be constrained by factors and likely impacts in the future. This doesn't so much restrict our freedom. Rather, the constraints help us make decisions with more useful long term impacts. There is nothing wrong with this. There is an optimization of benefits that always accompanies living processes. So, what do I do in my life that is of this nature? What planning do I do that has the long term in mind? The investment of time in this expression is one such thing. It has limited near term benefit, though it does make me feel good when I am doing it. Yet, I know that the seeds that I am planting here will ultimately grow into something wonderful ... something that will help to transform the world, something that will help to establish the infrastructures necessary for spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh. I use that phase a lot. Spirit is already expressed in flesh. In fact, everything is spirit in expression. What we are talking about is evolving the forms ... and building new forms, through which spirit can express in flesh. We do this via conscious effort on our parts. We do this by deciding what organizations we will participate in to what extent.

To date, I have not been much of a joiner. With the exception of my organization at work, I am not really part of any organizations. The sense is that this needs to shift somehow. It seems that my best work is to be done in the context of others somehow. That will definitely be a departure from how I have worked to date. Both in my job and in this expression, individual achievement has been prominent. Most of the things that I do, I do by myself ... or on my own anyway with the direct assistance of spirit. What can I take credit for? If something comes through my mind and my body, is it mine? Do I own it? Can I lay claim to it? Per legal standards, the answer seems obvious. If it is a product of my mind, then clearly I have the right to copyright the material. However, what about from a spiritual standpoint? Do we have a right to own such expressions in this manner? There is a sense that no, while we may be the vessels through which an expression is manifest, the expression is of spirit and belongs to the world. We have no right to hoard it or limit its dissemination. The whole concept of ownership in society is problematic. In the song Colors of the Wind, there is the line "you think that you can own the land you land on, the earth is not some dead thing you can claim." This expresses a powerful truth ... yet land ownership is one of the foundations of our economic system. Rather than ownership, we should be thinking in terms of right to use and stewardship. And then, our right to use should be revoked if we fail to be good stewards and take care of the thing that we have been entrusted.

What do I want from life? Only to be the best that I can be and to accomplish the mission that I came to accomplish as fully as I can. I believe this mission to be to build the foundations for a new world, one in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. This very expression is an example of what I am talking about. I consider this to be representative of consciousness operating at her finest. I am grateful to be able to serve her in this manner. Sure, some of the material is better than other parts. But, it was amazing how big the selection of best passages for 2002 turned out to be. There is every indication that 2003 will be just as fruitful. In fact, it's about time to get started on the first installment since the month ends in four days. It is obvious that I have an inflated view of the value and quality of my own writings. Yet, who better to judge them than someone who has read them all ... several times in most cases? Yes, I can see how some might see this as ego-centric. Others might see it as highly subjective and biased. That is OK. Life is highly subjective and biased by its very nature. One thing that I do want from life is abundance. I want to be free from having to be concerned about having enough. This means replacing the belief that there will always be enough with a more powerful belief that there will always be a surplus, and a large one at that. The only question is what do I need to do differently to make that so now? I got a small raise at work, but that is not enough to create a large surplus. Publishing a book is a possible means of bringing in additional income. If that works, many other books could follow quickly. In fact, that could keep me very busy for the remainder of the year, especially if I had to do things to publicize the books and make people aware of Beyond Imagination and who I AM.

Are the Musings of a Spiritual Warrior of such a nature that people would find them interesting? Hundreds of people? Thousands of people? Tens of thousands of people? Are they deep enough that philosophy or metaphysics classes could be established to study what has been expressed? Could I use the Best Passages book as a text book for the Beyond Imagination School Without Walls? It seems that the possibilities are endless. Yet, there is only so much time. I have to think in terms of where to expend my effort so that I maximize the effect that I have. Hmm ... though, this is how we change the world ... one person at a time. There is still a sense that one on one interaction is the most immediate and the most effective. However, it is also the most costly from a resource standpoint. For instance, take this musing. I have spent approximately three hours engaged here. However, when I am finished, there is a resource that is available for anyone to access, enjoy, and learn from. Further, the page is available indefinitely, so long as I continue to pay my monthly fee to my internet service provider.

25 February 2003

Again we wipe the slate clean so that consciousness may come forth and express anew. What is in store for today? We never really know in advance. We simply allow the expression to proceed as it will ... trusting that there is an intelligence that is guiding it, trusting that what spirit needs to have expressed is somehow being expressed. Is this also what I need to have expressed? Apparently the answer is yes, otherwise, all of this would not be coming through me. There is a sense as I do this that I am indeed carrying out my destiny and in some way fulfilling my life's mission and purpose. This is why I am here, this is why I came into this existence ... to demonstrate firsthand what could be expressed through us when we cooperate with spirit as equal partners. All that comes forth here somehow manages to make it through my consciousness. Whether I generate it, or receive it from inner or outer sources ... you can determine for yourself. The communication is what it is. Its merit lies in its content, not in its method of delivery. And the only valid measure of content is utility. In this case, both utility in our individual life, and utility for society as a whole.

It still amazes me that I can have so much to say here ... page after page, for hundreds of musings. Yet, I have so little to say to people in general. Part of this is that I simply am not engaged unless the topic is worthy of my attention. Yes, that is a harsh statement to make. But, with time being such a precious commodity, we have to be very careful about how we choose to spend it. Many of the topics that are raised here are contentious topics, and it would probably be helpful to engage in debate on them. It would help me to refine the material further, and perhaps to bring up issues that I have failed to consider. Here is where we have the potential for the power of synergy to kick in, resulting in a product that is better than that of any of the individuals. However, there is a cost in resources, and we need to make sure that the added benefit exceeds the cost.

Is a selection of best passages worthy of being a book? Given what I know of the passages, I would say that the answer is a resounding yes. These passages are indeed that good. They are rich with quotable material. That they came forth through one individual in one year is amazing in and of itself. This makes the work remarkable in its own right. Is it a normal nonfiction book? Does it have a topic or a specific message to convey? Does it present a case or and argument for something? No. What it does is document the road that one consciousness has traveled. It does this in a direct and personal manner ... primarily from the first person singular perspective. The hope is that it provides sufficient context for you to enter similar states of consciousness and employ them for your own use and for the benefit of others in your life. Two common themes are the expression of spirit in flesh ... and building the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. These are very important to me, or to the world that I hope to create. From my perspective, the only thing that truly matters is the expression of spirit in flesh. Part of my expertise seems to lie in being able to see where it flows freely and where it is blocked and being able to do things to help remove the blockages.

I'm probably the only one who would remember this anniversary anyway. It marked a highly significant event in my life, my transformation from a metaphysical information consumer to a metaphysical information generator. Not that I stopped consuming altogether. I still read a book now and then. However, I am much more captivated by the information that I am producing. There is something immediate about this expression. There is something that speaks directly to my heart and my soul as nothing else does. It is as if this communication were specifically tailored for me. You might ask, then why am I sharing it with you. The only answer I can offer is because I am moved to do so, because I feel there is some value in what is expressed for you. What that is, only you can know.

I'm even ready to start opening myself up to doing some promoting. That will be a new experience for me, but it seems that it is something that is long overdue somehow. I have stayed in the shadows, out of the limelight for far too long. It is time to shine in a much more public way than I have done before. Interesting. Yet, it does seem appropriate. The winds of change are upon us ... and we need to go where they blow us. Actually, we need to spread our wings and fly and thus go where we would choose to go. Hmm ... that is a different way of looking at things. When we fly, we are in control of the forces involved. We use the forces of nature and the laws of physics, including the very laws of flight to do our bidding.

One might expect that after all these words there might be more repetition of what has come before. However, my sense is that there is relatively little that is repeated, and this is generally for ideas that are of such importance that they warrant it. Then again, my memory is poor overall ... so I would have a difficult time assessing how much material is truly original. There are many recurring themes. There are many similar ideas presented in a variety of ways. I find this useful. The nuances are felt by consciousness, even though it may not be easy to explain the differences. Also, there is some reason this stream of consciousness came forth in the order and manner that it did. I don't feel that it is my job to alter that expression ... with the exception of cleaning up any glaring spelling and grammar errors. There is no sense that I should be reordering the expression and trying to group related content. That may come at some point in the future. But, right now, chronological order still seems to be right somehow. I just don't feel that it is right for me to second guess spirit in this area.

There are many things that I could do if I had the time to do them. But, I haven't figured out how to make that so yet. Perhaps that is meant to be, perhaps it is not. It seems that we shall know soon enough. If I were to have my way, I would definitely choose this as being what I want to do with my life. The only issue is how do we derive sufficient abundance from it to live well? This expression turns me on and lights me up as nothing else does. Though, my work environment is pleasant overall and still tolerable. However, I don't know that I find it enjoyable. I would not be doing it if I did not have to do it. That is not a good state to be in. Yet, how many people can say that they truly love their jobs?

26 February 2003

Another day ... another opportunity to bring forth what spirit would have us express. Why do I use those terms? Why do I not say "what I would express"? Primarily because I experience this expression as involving something more than what I know myself to be. How can I explain that? I can't. It is something that I experience. Further, I see it as something wonderful. It is not something that requires explanation, though I am ever in search of finding such. However, my happiness is not dependent on whether I succeed ... only in that I did what I could to try to explain it. Mysteries are OK. They are what make life interesting. They are what make life the wonder that it is. As such, these are to be relished and enjoyed. There are some things that will never be explained, try as we might. However, there are many more things that can be explained given sufficient priority, resources, and of course funding.

We get what we focus our efforts on. If we want a more peaceful community on a worldwide basis ... we should not be spending tens to hundreds of billions of dollars on weapons and defense. Yes, there is an argument that to have peace you must be strong enough to back up your word with the threat of war. But, is that really necessary? Are there no other alternatives in this day and age? What is the true relationship between peace and war? Peace is not simply the lack of war. It is a whole different mindset that is diametrically opposed to that of war. I have worked in the defense industry for nearly all of my adult life in various capacities. Did I choose this? At some level, the answer is yes. But, from a practical standpoint, it seems that I just fell into it ... one job led to the next taking me to where I am now. However, I'm starting to feel that where I am is not where I need to be, at least not any more. But, I don't really know what to do about it. I don't know what step to take next. Radical discontinuity comes to mind ... that is what a breakpoint is. It seems that such is what I have reached once again. Indeed!

Interesting. Though, it does indeed seem to be time for a major change once again ... one that completely transforms my life, though this time, not just my inner reality but my outer reality as well. The first decade of Beyond Imagination was primarily an inner one. Yes, I was moved to share it on the WWW ... but there was little interaction with others that came as a result of that sharing. It seems that we are about to begin a new phase of expression. This time, one that is far more outgoing. Hmm ... you might say nearly anything is far more outgoing. And, you would be right ... I have been that much of a hermit that my interactions with others have been rudimentary at best. There is a growing awareness that there is something that I have been missing as a result, and that I need this component added into my life to make it more full and complete. So, the desire is there to start to connect and communicate in ways that I have not done before. We'll see what manifests as a result. My desires tend to work quickly to bring about the circumstances necessary for their actualization. "You are never given a wish without being given the ability to make it come true". If memory serves me, that came from Richard Bach, in the Messiah's Handbook part of Illusions. I find it interesting how my mind is able to bring up such quotes on demand. I don't know if the words are right, and I'm too lazy to look them up ... so this will have to do. The intent is there. The bottom line is that my desire, my wish indicates that the means for making it come true is close at hand. The only real question is whether this is what I really want? At this point, my answer is yes. I am ready for a massive change in how I interact with the people in my world. It is time for the isolation to lessen dramatically, and the interaction and closeness to increase just as dramatically. Yes, that will take a concerted effort on my part. However, relationships are two-way interactions between people. They need to be nurtured and developed over time.

What would I do next? There is a sense that there is a different me inside waiting to be unleashed. It is as if I have worn a set of clothes that have held me back for all of my life. Though, that was not all bad. It was necessary to allow me to grow into who I have become, so that I would be ready to take this next step at this very point in my life. It is time to shed these clothes now and put on new ones that accurately reflect whom I would be now. That is my choice to make, and I exercise my right to make it now. This is a new behavior for me. It is a bolder, more direct type of action than I am used to taking. At the same time, it is refreshing ... perhaps even a bit intoxicating. Though, having never consumed alcohol, it is not clear how I would know what intoxicating was. There is a new sense of directedness and assuredness in my step. I am onto something her. I have locked into a path that is right for me somehow.

Everything is intricately orchestrated, down to the last detail. No, this is not done consciously. But, it is done, and furthermore it is done by us. We are all the conductors of our own lives. Moreover, we are the composers as well. We create it all ... everything that we experience. One of the primary reasons for doing it is to learn from it ... to learn whom that we are, and to learn the nature of spirit as she expresses in flesh. This is why we live. We live to learn whom that we are and then to express that as freely and as fully as we can in service to spirit, our self, our society, and our world ... not necessarily in that order. Can it be that simple? Yes and no. For many, being responsible for creating their own reality is too big of a burden to bear. They would rather have someone else to blame for their troubles. Can we really live in a world without victims? This seems so contradictory to everything we see and hear on the news. Everywhere we turn there is some crime being perpetrated by some person or some group on another person or group. It is virtually an epidemic of violence. What does it take to turn the tide? What does it take to bring peace and compassion back into our lives? For one thing, all of the violence that we are exposed to in the mass media clearly doesn't help. It starts as early as with kids and cartoons and proceeds through most of the adult programming. Is all this violence really necessary. Clearly, repeated exposure to such images and such concepts exercise pathways in the brain that might better be left untouched. Does exposure to such violence result in violent behavior? Obviously, not all of the time. However, there does seem to be some correlation between what people watch and what people consider to be acceptable. Does that mean that we should apply more censorship? I would argue yes. It is not clear that the amounts of violence that we see in films and on TV shows are necessary to convey the plots and storylines. This makes it a judgment call as to how much to leave in or not leave in. We really should be asking ourselves how much violence we really need to see to convey the message, and where possible, keep this to a minimum.

I really do feel a strong need to be something different than I have ever been. That is a new feeling for me. I have changed into something different several times before, but that was different. It just happened. I had no sense that it was about to happen. Now, it comes as a premonition, as something I know will happen. Further, the reason I can know it will happen is because I am moved to do whatever it takes to make it so. As to what I will become, that remains to be seen. Though, the sense is that I will not have to wait very long. The term persona comes to mind. It seems that I am in the midst of creating a new one somehow.

The more that I think about it, the clearer it is that it is indeed time for a dramatic change in how I present my self to the world. I've been doing that here for nearly a decade, but obviously that is not enough. If it were enough, my reality would be different. In particular, my relationships with others would be different. Also, my means of earning my livelihood would be different. That these things are what they are indicates that this expression is not yet having the positive impact that it could have in the world. Part of the reason for that is my failure to do what it takes to get the word out. It seems that it is not enough to bring the material forth and post it. I also have a part to play in introducing the Beyond Imagination works to people. I've neglected this last task, relying on spirit to guide those people who are meant to find the expression to the Beyond Imagination site. It wasn't so important who I reached. What was important was the expression, the expression for the sake of expression. Now, the tables have turned somewhat ... and it seems that who I reach is important, perhaps as important as the expression itself. After all, what good is a stream of consciousness expression if it is not experienced? Thus far, my attempts at reaching others have been somewhat feeble. I've contacted a fair number of people, but have received very little feedback. My nature is not naturally outgoing, so this is difficult for me. However, I am determined to do it anyway. We've reached a point where it is time to start trying something new. I've done the inner work that I can. I've spent nearly a decade developing a connection to source to the point where it can express as it does here. Now, we need to convert this to something able to do works in the world. These words may do some of that ... but only if people find them. And, it seems that I am to play a crucial role in leading them here. Perhaps the Best Passages from 2002 Musings book will make a difference as well. It may provide a focal point for introducing this expression to the world.

Can I be outgoing enough to self publish and do the publicity stuff necessary to make people aware of the book so that it will have a fighting chance to sell? If I have to, yes! And, the sense is that indeed I will have to. I strongly desire to earn my livelihood by doing what I love to do. And, right now, this is it. I have to give it a chance. I have to see if it can succeed. Even if it only supplements my income at first, that is a step in the right direction. Depending on how the first book goes, we could easily produce another half dozen or so works within a year. There is that much material readily available at Beyond Imagination. Something feels right about this now. It is as if the world is somehow ready for what the musings have to say. How many people might be interested? I have no way of knowing this. I would be pleased if it is in the tens of thousands but that may be optimistic thinking at this point. Then again, there are over 300 million people in this country alone. 10 thousand is one in every 30 thousand. When you look at it that way, it is not that many. But, you still have to reach the 10 thousand, let them know the book is available, and motivate them to buy it. Can I do that? Can I do what it takes to reach the right 10 thousand people? My circle of friends doesn't make it far past a dozen and not all of those would be interested. Yes, that's pretty pitiful. But, I don't get out much. Perhaps I need to change my ways. Then again, it is my ways that enable me to be whom that I AM and to express as I express so I must be doing something right.

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours." Another quote from Richard Bach in the Messiah's Handbook of Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. Richard Bach is one of my favorite authors. We need to be careful about considering our ways pridefully as capabilities when in fact they just may be liabilities or limitations. The bottom line is that all such limitations are self-imposed. As such, they are there only so long as we accept them or "argue for" them.

27 February 2003

There is a reason that my work is breaking up my time in this manner. It is forcing me to break up my routines, to shake up my habitual patterns ... so that I can start making new choices and start doing different things with my time and my life. My job is pushing me to break out of my shell and establish new contacts. This is something that is hard for me to do. Talking to strangers has never been easy for me, and new contacts are effectively that ... strangers. But, I can't do my job without connections with others in the community in which I work. It seems that my Beyond Imagination work is reaching a similar point. I need to make connections with others who are effectively strangers to me now. It is through these connections that cooperative interdependent relationships will be established that will allow us to carry out the great work of building the foundations for a new world. At the present time, it is probably not clear that there is agreement that new foundations are even needed. You would be right about that. However, that doesn't alter the fact that they are indeed needed, and that they are being built even as we speak. Hmm ... I wonder where that came from? Who is carrying out this task ... and how do we volunteer our services to be part of this endeavor?

I am being forced, out of necessity, to deal with people in new ways. This requires developing skills that I have not had to use before, or awakening skills that have lain dormant within me for a long time. Either way ... I am being moved to act differently. I see this as a good thing overall. My life had become somewhat stagnant. Oh, I have been extremely busy. But, being busy is not enough. We must do things that have utility. We must do things that are of service, that make a difference in our world. This expression is where I shine. This expression is where consciousness expresses through me at her finest. This is where the word is made flesh. OK, only to the degree of appearing physically in a computer and on a screen ... but that is physical. And once physical, it is able to enter your mind and be made flesh just as it was in my mind ... only your understanding may be different. That is OK. It is for each of us to assign meaning to what we experience. Nothing says this meaning has to be the same. In fact, that is one of the things that makes reality so interesting ... literally, each of us experience our own reality. More than that, we create the reality that we experience. We have been doing this for all of our life ... actually for all of our lives. Yes, I believe that we experience many lives, and further that even though these lives are in different time periods, they are somehow simultaneous ... our very idea of time is an illusion. Can I prove this? No, I can't. I can only offer that Seth found it difficult to focus on what we considered to be our reality because of its highly focused emphasis on specific aspects of time. In particular, when considering an individual, Seth would see past, present, and probable future associated with the individual. That made it difficult to focus on any present reality the individual was experiencing.

Life itself is a spiritual phenomenon for me. That makes everything we do "spiritual". Everything is spirit in expression. There simply is nothing else. But, what about all the bad things that happen? Is spirit behind these as well? The only answer that makes sense is yes. There can be no exceptions. There is nothing except spirit in expression. That doesn't mean the expression isn't distorted. Our belief systems constrain what can be expressed through us. That is where self knowledge comes into play. The more that we know of whom that we are, the more fully and clearly spirit can express through us. However, self knowledge doesn't just come to us ... we have to pursue it with all of our heart and soul. We have to strive to be all that we can be. We have to have the courage to do what we are moved to do. Only then can spirit shine forth fully in our lives. Only then can we fulfill the missions for which we came.

This, more than anything else is our directive from spirit ... to be the best that we can be, and to do what we are moved by spirit to do. These two things are crucial. They are the foundation for right living and for building a better world. It is not important that we know in advance what it is that we must do. It is enough that we develop our intuition and trust it enough to act on it when the time comes to do so. It seems that this is not an easy step for many. It requires a degree of self confidence that most do not possess. But, it is more than that. It is more than a faith in self ... it is a faith in spirit herself. And, she will not let us down. We may not always get what we think that we want or what we think that we deserve; but we will always get what we need. Spirit operates from needs not wants. She ensures that needs are met wherever they arise. However, she often uses us as the vehicles for providing the goods, services, or experiences necessary to meet the needs. "God's hands" as the song says ... that is what we are.

28 February 2003

My reality framework is clearly more open than most. I accept things as real that others would dismiss as nothing more than products of an active imagination. But, that is why this expression is called Beyond Imagination. It deals with reality in new and unique ways. At least, they are new and unique from my perspective. That could easily be because I have not studied enough to find similar works. I spent over twenty years of my life in input mode, primarily reading the best metaphysical books I could find. Then, in 1993, a switch turned on within me, and this expression began. Now, it occupies approximately 3 hours of my life each day. Yes, that is a major investment to make toward any voluntary pursuit. I do it willingly, but I also do it because I must. In a very real way, this expression defines whom that I AM. It is as if I would be lost without it. I would be without a purpose or a mission. Expressing what spirit would express through me is a purpose ... and a noble purpose at that. But, is it a copout? Have I relinquished responsibility to be who I would be? Wow, that is a good question. However, how can there be any real difference between what I would be and what spirit would have me be if I am operating true to the highest ideals of my self? The bottom line is that there cannot be. I am spirit in expression now. We all are. We have always been, and we shall always be. The issue is how do make this expression better? How do we allow it to flow more smoothly ... or, if not smoothly, at least more abundantly. That does not mean turning up the volume to the point of excess where we burn out. However, I think that most of us will find that there is far more that we can do without risk of even coming close to this point. It won't happen unless we choose to make it happen, unless we choose to do what it takes to manifest it. Further, going in, we may not even know what additional expression is required. It takes a great deal of trust in spirit to show us the way, step by step, to where we need to be, and to how we need to express.

When I say spirit, that is something I look for inside of myself. It is something to which my intuition is tied. It is not an outer force of any type, and it is definitely not something that I have ever found through religion. Spirit is a feminine source from which we all spring. She is the ONE consciousness that feeds the individual consciousnesses of each of us. Here I speak not so much from authority, but rather from my own personal experience. I have no means of knowing whether or how many others see things in this manner. When I say "look for inside of myself", that relates to a direction of seeking. The spirit that I am looking for is not contained inside of me, but there are connections to it inside of me. It is these connections that I seek to find, to nurture, to develop, and ultimately to use in my life.

In the decade since this expression began, I have been essentially on my own in dealing with it. I've spoken with a few people a few times, but with no one on a regular basis. Considering how much has been expressed, something definitely seems wrong about that. But, I was moved to continue to express anyway ... even if there was no one but me available to hear. Interesting. What was the purpose in all of that? Why bring forth such wonderful expression, yet put limits on its dissemination. 14:Temperance comes to mind. I am undergoing a process of spiritual growth that readies me for what I will ultimately need to do. If the early material had been successful commercially, I wouldn't have been forced to go through some of the soul-searching and self-development that I have over the past several years. Everything happens for a reason. There is a grand plan of consciousness that is being played out. We each have our roles to play within that plan.

Approaching 45, I am a vastly different person than I was approaching 35, when the expression began. Yet, there are still many elements of my nature that are the same. I am still solitary, very much the hermit ... though I am actively attempting to get out far more than I even have. Metaphysics is still my primary interest. I have no close friends and few acquaintances. What I do have is a body of writings at Beyond Imagination that document a decade long adventure in consciousness. This is a major achievement. Though it is one that goes unrecognized by any conventional standards.

MARCH

1 March 2003

What comes forth comes forth when it is meant to do so and not until. I am the vessel through which it comes forth ... but there is still no sense that it is me creating all of this. Perhaps I am ... but if so, it is not from any part of myself that I am consciously aware of. Yet, in another sense without me, none of this would exist; at least not in this form. So, in some respects, I am the creator ... or at least the co-creator with consciousness herself.

My session with the psychologist was interesting. He couldn't figure out why I was there. It was obvious that I was somewhat manic. And, while my life was not normal, I was able to function well at work and was happy overall. He was used to dealing with people that were distressed and needed help. In my case, he didn't see this was the case so he didn't understand what his role was. As to my writings ... he said there is nothing wrong with stream of consciousness material. He read a few of the passages and found them interesting. However, he suggested to be wary of publishing ventures and definitely don't spend the retirement accounts on them. Publishing a book is the easy part. Advertising it to get it to sell is a whole other matter. The psychologist wasn't open to valid information from metaphysical disciplines such as numerology, astrology, and tarot. He didn't consider them scientific, hence they were not valid in his reality framework. My framework is far more loose than that allowing it to be more inclusive of much more information ... including that from intuitive sources. I think this is good overall. However, clearly this is uncomfortable to many.

We are winding down to the 10th anniversary of the beginning of this expression. The first day was 5 March 1993. It is simply amazing that a decade has passed already. I would have thought Beyond Imagination would have had more impact by now. Extensive material has been available on the WWW since the Fall of 1995. It is curious that I will be away on a business trip alone in a town where I know no one on this anniversary. I guess that is appropriate in some way. I have chosen the path of the Hermit much of my life. Why should I expect anything to be different now? It won't be different until I start doing something different.

Perhaps this is confirmation of what I have already sensed ... that the time has come for me to venture out of the house of self into the house of others. This is a major step for me. But, it is one that I must take if I am to accomplish what I came to do. And the sense is that now is the time to take that step. Not to worry, the very forces of the universe are on my side, ready to do my bidding ... but they await my action. They would do what I would have them do. Free will is at play here. In particular, my free will. I've struggled with this for many years. What is right for me to will to be? There is the issue of my will versus thy will. I have always bowed to the will of spirit in my life. Or, at least, I've thought that this is what I've done. Essentially, I've simply backed off and refused to force my will upon others. Is that good overall? Not necessarily. Why is my will any less important or any less valuable than that of anyone else? Why should I not do what it takes to exercise my own will, so long as it harms no one ... or so long as the benefit is greater then any harm that might be done? Isn't what counts the bottom line? We can't necessarily please everyone.

I've lived my life in my head for much of my life. It seems that I am still doing it. Perhaps that is because I am afraid to live it in real life. Then again, what is real life? It seems that it is whatever we experience. I have effectively been alone all of my life as well. That is not quite right. Spirit has been by my side for many years. She has been my guide, my teacher, my friend, my companion. It seems time that I should have others in my life to fill these roles as well. Not that spirit hasn't done a superb job. It is just that I need something more now. I need a level of companionship that spirit herself cannot offer. At least, that's what I think that I need. We will see soon enough by what changes occur in my life. In particular, the changes involving relationships with people.

7 March 2003

Yes, there was a five day break in this stream of consciousness. Several times, I came close to being moved to start to express longhand, but I just couldn't do it. The energy just wasn't there. Then again, perhaps it was ... only it needed to be unleashed by an act of initiative on my part. At this point it is past history. What matters now is what we do from this moment forward. And, it seems that we are back in the saddle again, as the old expression goes. Nothing noteworthy happened on 5 March 2003. There was no acknowledgement from spirit or from others that a milestone, namely the tenth anniversary of the birth of this expression had been reached. Then again, no one else was around at the birth ... nor have any been around at subsequent anniversaries. Why should number 10 be any different? I don't know. There was just an awareness that something was different now and an expectation that there might be a different outcome as a result. I don't even know what I expected. A burst of output perhaps. A party, or even recognition of the significance of the date by anyone. But, such did not occur. It is interesting that I was called away on a last minute business trip with only a few days of notification the week before. It is also interesting that my free time while on the business trip was as poorly used as it was. I could have done something. I definitely could have done more. But, I wasn't moved to do so.

Washington D.C. is a pretty spectacular place overall. The architecture of all of the Federal Buildings and the Monuments is almost unbelievable. There is a sense of permanence, and a sense of planning. There is a sense that someone cared for what they were building here. The Metro is quite remarkable as well for its efficiency and convenience. Overall, there was also a sense of safety and security ... even at night. This is the city that is the seat of the National Government. Here is where political battles are fought, where decisions get made, and ultimately where programs get funded. But, do the representatives that reside here have the pulse of the people that they represent? Our republic is the showcase for democratic government in the world. It is the standard by which all others are measured. Our people have a degree of freedom that is unknown in many parts of the world. Further, our people have a degree of creativity and industriousness that has resulted in the strongest economy in the world. Indeed, we have many blessings. No wonder there are so many who go to great lengths to become citizens of our country. But, what does it really mean to be a citizen? We work and pay our taxes. I would say we vote, but I have never chosen to do this. Most of the things that we are asked to vote on have no impact on my life. As you can probably tell by now, my motivations are highly selfish overall. If you want me to vote, you have to show me how that ultimately benefits me or benefits society. It is not enough to simply say that every vote counts. There are far too many uninformed votes. I firmly believe that if one is going to vote then one should at least do sufficient research to understand the issues. This can be difficult since political arguments often involve emotions more than facts.

It is great to be back expressing again. I definitely miss it when I am away from it, especially for an extended period. How do I make this what I do for a living? Is that even in the cards for this existence? Or, does my destiny lay elsewhere? One way or another, what will be will be. All that I can do is allow it to happen as it will and find a way to enjoy the process as much as I can. But, is that really true? Do I have no control over what happens? Am I truly a passive observer, or am I an active participant? My sense is that I am the later. As such, I have a responsibility to do things and make decisions that cause particular things to happen ... or at least make them highly likely. This is where our role as the creator of our own reality comes into play, and on a larger scale, the co-creator of the consensus reality. But, what is it that I would create? I speak of creating the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. That is a lofty goal. However, that is a very high level objective. How do we tell whether our actions are proceeding in accord with this goal? How do we measure how much progress we are making? We need to define what we mean by "foundations", "new world", "spirit", "more fully", and "express in flesh". That is a lot to explain from such a succinct expression. By "foundations", I mean the educational, governmental, and other social institutions and infrastructures needed to support civilized society. By "new world", I mean the world that results from the right operation of these social institutions and infrastructures and the extension of universal laws to all humankind. By "spirit" I mean the fundamental essence that animates us all. For me, there is only ONE spirit, though each of us only seem to possess or be aware of an individual spark of that spirit. By "more fully" I mean that we need to build the organizations necessary to allow more of spirit to express through us and our creations. How much more? As much more as we can express. Finally, "express in flesh" ... it seems that in this existence, it has to be expressed in flesh or it just doesn't count. We can dream of and imagine many things, but that is not sufficient to make them real. Here, we need to go Beyond Imagination and manifest as we believe. It is interesting how often that phrase comes up ... beyond imagination. The name seems just as appropriate for this material today as it did when I came up with it a decade ago. Whatever you can dream, whatever you can imagine, you can achieve. Someone said that. However, how do we take the next step and get to places beyond anything that we can yet imagine? The sense is that spirit knows of such places and can guide us to them if we let her do so. This requires a faith in spirit, a fundamental trust in the nature of consciousness as it expresses in our lives. For some this is easier than for others. I've always had a strong inner faith in self and in the soul that is my personal connection to spirit. It didn't take any effort on my part to develop this. It was just a natural part of who I was as a spiritual being ... and I related to being a spiritual being more than anything else. I still do, though I am starting to see that all aspects of our being are spiritual.

There is a sense that it is time to do something different. Publishing a book may just be the right step. But, that is only a first step in a new direction. I need to take this expression out of the for your eyes only mode. Does that apply to past expression, to future expression, or to both? Good question. There is a lot of Beyond Imagination material. My sense is that, in general, it is much more clear than many philosophical or metaphysical texts. Yes, there is some strange stuff with numbers going on in the Notes and Musings. But, that only provides a sampling of some of the kinds of things that my mind observes and does to find meaning. For the books, I can choose what passages to keep. This provides some control over what is presented to the world. Will the world be receptive to what I have to say? Perhaps, perhaps not. However, the receptivity should not be a factor in the decision to give the work a chance to fly. How will I know for certain unless and until I try? And, not with some half-hearted effort, but with all the energy and intention that I can muster. The cause is indeed a worthy one. This expression is of a nature that it deserves to be heard, so that it may have whatever impact it is meant to have. Will that ultimately change the world? We can always hope. It just takes one pebble to cause ripples in a whole pond of still water. Am I that pebble? Is this expression the equivalent of throwing the pebble into the pond? Will what I have to say make the world a better place? Interesting that I state it so, for what I do is say what I have to say. Yes, I meant to use those terms. There is a sense that I am not in control somehow. Further, there is a sense that there is no need for me to be in control. It is OK that spirit guides me in my life, both consciously and other than consciously. With her in charge, I am in the safest of hands indeed. But, what about personal responsibility? I can accept spirits guidance and still remain completely responsible for all that I do and all that I experience. Yes, this includes all that others do unto me. We co-create everything. There is nothing that happens to us that we don't choose to participate in. We may not do this consciously ... in fact, often it is worked out on other than conscious levels. However, that does not alter the fact that we are doing it.

It is time for my world to expand. My inner world is huge compared to my outer world. It seems that it is time to reach some sort of a balance or an equilibrium. That requires being different. That requires expressing in whole new ways for me. Am I convinced that this is really what I want to do? There is still the attraction of the 9:The Hermit ... of the recluse who observes but does not really participate in the world. Is it an attraction, or is it simply a state that I am comfortable with, like an old pair of shoes? Does it serve me any longer? Does it serve the world that I so long to serve? The bottom line answer seems to be no, that this image is one whose utility is gone. Yet, it is not clear that I will grow comfortable being a people person. That is just not my nature. Yet, I would build a society ... the likes of which has never yet been seen. Interesting. How would I go about doing that? What qualifications does a loner bring to the table for building a society? How would I know a good society from a poor one? I only know that I seem to be able to see whether complex systems are working effectively or not and identify what kinds of changes might help them to function better.

8 March 2003

No excuses. What needs to be expressed will be expressed ... as it always is, of that I can be certain. In a way, my life is no longer my own. I have willingly chosen to give a significant part of it in service to spirit and ultimately to society and to the world in the process. Yes, I think in grand terms. I don't know why exactly. They just seem to suit me somehow. It is as if I were born to express in this manner. It is definitely not something I was bred to do, or trained to do. It is something innate, something that comes forth from the very depths within me. My term for this connection is intuition tied to source, the ONE consciousness that animates us all. Whether my understanding is correct or not, only time will tell. For now, it seems to have its utility. Source is very productive ... even the part that is able to express through me. So long as the productivity is there and the material is first class, it seems that this is the most important activity that I can engage in. How long this will be the case, I cannot know for certain. Spirit seems to work in cycles. My cycles seem to be on the order of 8-9 years. 93-97 were productive years for Beyond Imagination, while 98-01 were much less so. 2002 and 2003 have been a quantum leap forward. Can this last another 3-4 years? Perhaps, perhaps not. Actually, at this point the more correct answer seems to be probably. It seems that I have entered a phase of my life where once again it is my works that will define me, only this time not only to myself but to a larger world that I am to touch somehow.

Reach out and touch somebody. That is the admonition of spirit to me now. My works have touched me deeply for over a decade. It is time that either they (my works) or I start doing things to touch others. What can I do? I am just one person ... with limited contacts. But, I am far more than that. We all are. We are all interconnected in ways beyond anything that we have ever dreamed or imagined. When I do something, when I realize something, the very fabric of consciousness is altered as a result. Consciousness learns from everything we do, everything we think, and everything we realize. No act of kindness goes unnoticed ... nor any act or neglect nor any atrocity. We are all held accountable for what we do, and to some degree for what we could have done that we failed to do. The measure that we are ultimately held against is what we achieve versus what we had the potential to do ... with what we could have been. This makes it very important to live our lives without regrets. We don't want to be in a position of remorse over what we might have done differently. It is for us to seize the moment and reduce or eliminate these might have dones from our life. One area to question is where we have chosen to accept compromise. We need to get to the heart of our reasons for doing so. If avoidance is a primary reason, we need to reconsider whether this truly serves us and those with whom we have compromised. Is the result truly WIN-WIN? If not, there is a better way ... other avenues need to be explored.

What do I want out of life? For this expression to continue and to grow, for one. However, I also desire relationships that help lead to a greater sense of fulfillment. Here, I am in the dark. What does a loner, one who effectively lives isolated from others, know about relationships, especially about cooperatively interdependent ones? What can I say? I know what I know. Where that knowledge comes from is a mystery. Clearly, it does not come from experience in this existence. This brings up an interesting issue. Much of how my mind functions and how my consciousness works are mysteries to me. I've spent many an hour over the past decade observing this expression flow forth ... but I am no closer now to understanding how the process works than I was in the first year of the expression. How can that be? How can I spend thousands of hours doing something and not really understand what it is that I am doing and how it is that I am able to do it? It is truly amazing. The sense is that I could spend the rest of my life in this pursuit and barely touch the surface. There is so much to learn. There is so much that is unknown. And, there may even be large parts that are unknowable ... they may be such that our minds are incapable of conceiving of or comprehending them in any fashion. That is OK. There is nothing that says we have to understand everything that we experience. One can comprehend the awesome scenic beauty of Yosemite without having any understanding of the forces of nature that occurred over time to carve those very features we find so beautiful. Similarly, we can marvel at the wonder of the human body as it has evolved over the eons as the house for the mind. The complexity of human life is simply amazing ... and the training necessary to get a newborn infant able to function effectively in the modern world in roughly 17-21 years is mind-boggling. It doesn't stop there. At the pace that the world is changing, the day that we stop learning is the day that we begin to become obsolete. This doesn't seem fair. Evolution has always worked on a greatly expanded time scale, with changes occurring in eons, millennia, centuries ... not decades, and definitely not years. Yet, we are living in a new age, and it seems that new rules apply. It is not our bodies that are the limiting factors anymore, it is our minds. Further, not just the minds that we were born with, but our minds as extended by the myriad of information tools that we have created to augment our natural abilities. The internet is one such tool. This very expression is brought to you over a medium that has only really gone public in a big way in the past 5 years or so. Computer technology has empowered us to be able to communicate in ways that we never dreamed possible. Within minutes, I can post something to my service provider computer which is then immediately available to anyone in the world with internet access. All this at a cost of less than $10 per month, plus the cost of a computer which is less than $600 these days. That doesn't mean anyone will access and read what I have to say. However, that doesn't stop me from being moved to say it anyway. We all do what we must do.

There is a strong sense that it is time for me to do something new, something different. What that is, I don't yet know ... but, I sense that I won't be in the dark for much longer. Wishful thinking? Perhaps. But, the times they are a changing, as the song says. We either change with the times or we wither and die. I expect to be around for awhile, so it seems that my only choice is to change. Given that, I might as well be proactive and take the lead. No one else in my circle of acquaintances seems to be doing this. Then, why is it so important for me to do? Simply, because I must ... I know that this is my task to do and I would do it willingly and wholeheartedly. It has never been important for me to live a normal life, to live as others do. My psychological isolation from others was quite extreme, perhaps excessively so ... but, it was a choice that I made for myself. Now, I see it as a choice that got me here, a choice that allows me to express in this manner. Had I made different choices (if indeed that were possible), the outcome would have been different ... I would be a different me. Better or worse, I have no way of knowing. I AM THAT I AM. That is sufficient. What can be impacted now is what is HERE and NOW and via causality what will be in the future. But, the future will take care of itself if we focus on right action in the moment. That is always within our power to do. However, it requires taking responsibility and doing what we know to be right. We will know. There is a place inside each of us that knows. This is not something open to debate and argument. This doesn't mean that what is right for you is right for someone else. There are no absolutes in this area. Though, the Ten Commandments have a pretty strong set of shall statements. And, I'm sure that other religions have similar lists. There is a book out called The Second Ten Commandments that is much more positive and uplifting. It offers new age commandments that truly make the world a better place if we abide by them. Some already live them, but for many, they will seem foreign, at least at first.

Things happen in the way that they happen because that is how we make them happen. It is all us. Yes, spirit expresses through us. But, we are the ones that shape and mold that expression into form in our world. Spirit is somewhat neutral. She seeks to express in whatever manner she can express through the resources that she is given. She is given resources by our willingness to do her works. We have to volunteer for our spiritual jobs or they simply will not be done. That is just how it is. Spirit will not force her way into our lives. She gently prompts us at times, but it is up to us to listen and to choose to abide by what she says. This requires establishment of a level of trust. Some find this difficult. They demand proof. But, spirit will offer no proof of her existence. You either know her firsthand in your life or you do not. Intuition is one of the key abilities to which she is tied. Intuition has to come from someplace. I guess you could believe it to be a natural function of your own mind somehow tapping into information from somewhere. I prefer to consider that somewhere to be source, spirit herself.

9 March 2003

Once again spirit moves me to come to this place to express what would be expressed through me at this time. That makes it seem as if it is a passive process, but this is far from the case. My consciousness is fully engaged, though I am not consciously knowledgeable of how. That is OK. The very fact that this expression exists is proof that other than conscious parts of ourselves can indeed create things in our lives ... in my case, a stream of words, over three million of them to date. Consciousness is highly creative and quite prolific if we allow her to be. It is amazing how much work we can do when we resign ourselves to allowing spirit to work through us. It seems that when we do so, our resources increase many fold. And, indeed, such is the case ... for our resources are augmented by spirit's resources, and her resources are inexhaustible. Actually, ours are as well when we are doing what we love to do. That is how much difference this makes in our life. Attitude is everything! It truly is. When work is drudgery, it is an endless chore to get through the day. When work is a labor of love, we look forward to the opportunities of each moment and the day simply flies by. The trick is how we transform the work that we do into the later ... or, if necessary, how we find a new job that is right for us. One way or another ... the character of our working life is our responsibility. We need to be careful not to settle for less than what could be, and enslave ourselves in the process into a less than optimum arrangement where we contract our services and in many respects a good deal of our life for far less than they are ultimately worth.

How do we determine what we are worth? In the free market, this is determined by whatever the market will bear. For those of us that work in large companies, this is further influenced by salary averages, raise pools, and performance appraisals. These tend to keep salaries in relatively tight groupings by experience level and education. To earn substantially more than this, I will have to do something different. Marketing is definitely not one of my strong suits, so that is clearly out. It seems that somehow my livelihood will be tied to this expression. Perhaps not in its present form, but in some form evolved from this. That would mean that I need to interact with the potential audience for my books. Yes, it seems this is so. But, it also seems that I am ready for such interaction. I've had ten years of practice in doing this on my own. It seems that it is time that I start to engage others. What do I expect from such engagement? At this point, the primary things are feedback and a stimulus that drives further expression. I have been expressing in effectively an open loop manner since 1993. Feedback provides the signal that allows the control mechanism to better focus and guide the expression. The stimulus that I am looking for is questions or comments about what has been expressed that force me to more thoroughly explain various things. Will these things come? Either they will or they won't. In either event, I am prepared to continue to express open loop so long as spirit moves me to do so. That could be for a very long time. That is OK. I'm used to it now. But, at the same time, this is a new decade ... what was true for 1993-2003 may not be true for 2003-2013. We'll just have to see what happens. Here, it is not clear that I can make things happen. I can't make people provide feedback. However, I can encourage people to do so, and I can do things to put the Beyond Imagination material in the hands of more people. At this point, the sense is that this is the next step for me to take. I need to do what it takes to get the material out. That means to more than my Beyond Imagination site on the WWW. There is a larger audience that I need to find and to reach. Will this be easy? The immediate sense is no, but it is something that I must stretch and do anyway. It is that important. And, that is ultimately why it will be done. As always, I will do what I am moved to do ... even to the extent of doing new things in new ways. Such is how I have chosen to live my life. I would do what spirit demands of me. And, I would do so willingly and joyfully. I am an instrument through which the divine plan of consciousness is being enacted. I freely choose to play the role that I came to play. I do this with full responsibility for all that I do and all that I experience.

There is still a strong inner sense that I am to have world impact somehow ... that what I do will make a difference to the world. To date, the most important part of what I do is to capture this stream of consciousness and make it available on the WWW. The ideas that are presented here are my contribution to society and to the world. However, they are not presented in such a manner that many receive them and are impacted by them. Hmm ... I have relied on consciousness to get the word out so to speak and guide the people to the Beyond Imagination site who could most benefit from what is expressed there. But, that does not seem to have happened. Either that, or the material is meant for far fewer people than I had hoped. Everything in its proper timing. When the message needs to reach people, it will reach people, and they will be the right people. This is not something that I have to worry about. One step at a time. Publish a book. Then, start to do what it takes to advertise the book. There is nothing wrong with announcing to people that you have created something ... or that spirit has created something through you. It is still their choice as to what they will do about it. However, without the announcement, you don't even give them a choice. Further, unless you publish the book, there is no work to announce in the first place. So, take the first step, and then the next, and then the next after that. One step at a time gets us to any destination eventually. However, remember to enjoy the process ... each and every step of the way. Live your life in a grand way, as only you can do. Allow all of whom that you are to be expressed. This is easier said than done. It takes courage to be all that you can be. It takes courage to exercise ones freedom of expression to the fullest. But, we must be brave and do so. Life is meant to be a grand adventure. If that is not the way we are experiencing it, it is high time to start making different choices so that we experience a different reality more consistent with this. For me, this expression is the grand adventure in my life. It is an adventure in consciousness. However, though I desire to share what I have experienced, it seems that I have not been so successful in doing so. It is not from a lack of effort ... several thousands of hours have been expended in this endeavor. It seems that effort alone is not enough. We need right action, whatever that would be for the dissemination of this information. That assumes that the information is worthy of dissemination. Of that, I have no doubt. The quality of the expression is suitable for presentation to an audience. How can I know this? The most direct answer is based on firsthand experience of how this expression moves me. I consider myself well read enough to be able to judge whether or not something is good. As to how large of an audience it might reach, that remains to be seen. It seems that depends on what I do to get the word out, and what others do to reach still others via word of mouth. My circle of acquaintances is quite small. The subset that might be interested in my metaphysical works is even smaller. That is OK. It is time that I extend my circles and start to meet those with whom I am meant to establish interdependent relationships. The sense is that they are just as ready to find me as I am to find them. So, once we do find one another, we can effectively get a running start toward defining and doing the work we are meant to do together. I'm excited by what lies ahead. There is a sense that much change lies in the immediate future in this area.

So, what is the next step? The immediate answer is publish your book. In the worst case scenario, it won't sell and I'll be out roughly $650. However, I'm certain that some people will be moved to buy the book. How many is dependent on a number of factors, some of which are in my control, many of which are not. I can only do what is within my power to do. Making people aware of the book is something that I can do ... though many of the methods for doing this will definitely stretch my comfort zone regarding how I deal with people. That is OK. It is time for this comfort zone to be stretched anyway. It has been far too small for far too long to serve me. Looking up, I have a stack of five Beyond Imagination works that have been generated over the years. I generated an economic engine in 1998 to try to sell some of these works but it has not been very successful to date. Only three people have chosen to buy any of these works. At the time, it seemed like a great idea. I was looking for people who were willing to pay me 10 cents per hour for what I am able to express.

10 March 2003

Being away from a computer was not sufficient to stop us this time. I'm moved to express anyway, and when I am so moved, there is no choice but to express. Yes, no choice. I do what I must do. There is still a strong sense that I am in the midst of some major changes in my life, and on many fronts at that. These are welcome changes and necessary ones. I can say this without even knowing what all the changes will be. I can do this because I trust the process of life as it is unfolding through me. I am the sacred in expression. We all are. It is high time that we realized this and acted as if we believed that it were true.

Longhand expression is much slower than using Netscape Communicator. In fact, it is painfully slow. But, at this time, it is my only option other than not to express. And, my preference is to express. There is so much inside awaiting expression. The more that comes through, the more there seems to be. The source seems to be inexhaustible.

The days fly by. Yet, there is a sense that each day brings me closer to manifesting my destiny. Yes, it is up to me to manifest that destiny. It won't just happen of and by itself. This is a different way of looking at destiny. It is not something that happens to us beyond our control. Rather it is something that we create in our own lives. Knowing this, what is it that I would create ... what destiny would I manifest for both myself and the world of which I am part?

Why me? Why is it that I have been selected by consciousness to express in this manner? I don't really know, but I consider it a gift and a blessing. Along with such gifts comes the responsibility to use them effectively in service to society in some way. This is true for all gifts. Whatever abilities we have are there because they are needed by society. It is for us to find a way to apply them in service. We really haven't answered the question why me. Perhaps that is a question that can never be answered. It is enough to know I am whom that I am and that there is a grand task that I came to do. Whether I will accomplish this or not, only time will tell. One thing is certain, it won't be for lack of trying. However, trying and succeeding are two different things. Sometimes no amount of trying assures success. We need to be smart about how we apply our efforts to maximize our successes. To some degree, we can allow spirit herself to orchestrate our efforts. In general, she seems to know far more about what she is doing than we know.

What would I do differently in my life? Where am I satisfied and where am I not satisfied? What are the things that truly matter to me? Interesting questions. It does seem to be time to focus on the things that really matter. This expression is one of those things. Without it, my life would be missing something very special, something that I would not want to live without. Yes, that is a strong way to state it. But, that is precisely how I feel about it. This expression is that important to me. In fact, it is the most important thing in my life. Does that create a problem for relationships? Perhaps it does. Further, it will continue to do so until I consider relationships with others at least on a par with my relationship with spirit. Is this likely to change anytime soon? Only if I desire for it to do so. Here logic comes in to play. If everything is spirit, my relationships with others are just another flavor of relationship with spirit. Yes, that is an interesting way of looking at things.

So, why have I isolated myself from others for so long? It just seemed to be the natural thing for me to do. Though, there was an element of fear of others that entered into the equation. This has lessened over time but I am still shy and reluctant to engage with strangers. Will I ever outgrow this ... or is it a natural tendency that I simply need to live with? The bottom line comes down to whether it serves me or not. Obviously, it served me well for over three decades or I would not have held onto it so rigidly. However, what has worked in the past is not necessarily good for the future. We need to be open to changing our ways, even characteristics that we consider to be fundamental to our being ... perhaps especially if we consider them such.

11 March 2003

Again we are moved to come here to express longhand. It is not optimal but it will just have to do. I am away from home, yet moved to allow this stream of consciousness to come forth. At some point, it seems that I will need to invest in a laptop, especially if the business trips are going to be frequent. It has reached a point where a computer is am essential tool in my life, something that I use for hours nearly every day. Further, there is every indication that if I were self employed, I would probably spend more time at the computer, not less. In an average week, my computer time is about 50 hours. Yes, that is a lot. But, I'm an information worker in an information age and find it most productive when I am working on my own. Perhaps this will change at some point. Then again, not necessarily.

When I imagine my ideal work environment, it still involves me generating a lot of information and interacting with others via e-mail. I like the record and context that e-mail can provide. However, there are some negatives to overcome as well. There is a sense that this ideal environment may no longer be ideal for me. Perhaps I need to expand my horizons. Something rings right about this. My life seems to be unfolding in a manner that is consistent with this. I only know that I am being moved to be differently. What I have been to date is simply not enough. There is so much more that I could be.

I have said that spirit is a stern taskmaster. Indeed, she is. But, it seems that I task myself even more sternly. I do this because I know something of whom that I am and what I am capable of. It is simply not acceptable to me to be less than I can be. However, this doesn't apply in all areas. Clearly, when I look at my own life, it is obvious that the spiritual is more highly valued than the emotional or the physical. And, indeed, it is much more highly valued. Perhaps it always will be. However, we are equally physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual beings. It is not clear that any aspect should be any more important than any other. However, that doesn't stop the fact that in practice, they are far from equivalent. It is probably clear that my focus is in the mental and spiritual domains. These are home to me. The body and emotions are far more foreign. Is this a problem or a characteristic to be used for advantage? Something Richard Bach said in Illusions comes to mind "Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they're yours". As I wrote that, I got shivers all through my body. The sense was that this is exactly what I was doing. However, I also got this realization that everything that I have read, and everything that I have expressed are all of the same nature. It will all have its moment when it is perfect for the occasion. Further, my memory is such that it will recall what is appropriate for the situation that it finds itself within.

I've noticed myself observing how my mind and awareness are functioning a lot more lately. At times it is difficult to stay focused on the tasks that I am doing. At such times, I find myself more loosely associated with physical reality that normal. So far it has not been a problem. However, it is reaching a point where it is becoming a concern. I only have so much control over how and where I focus my attention. This seems to be an indication that I am trying to force myself to focus in ways that are not natural for me ... in ways that are not appropriate for me. Hmm ... this suggests that perhaps it is time to be doing something else. The question is what? When it comes to jobs, I'm pretty conservative. My present job of 6 years is pretty safe and secure. But, is that what I need out of a job? Apparently, it is. Or, at least, it has been to date, because that is what I have manifested.

Awareness, allowance, and acceptance ... these are the keys to living life. Until we are aware, until we allow, until we accept ... there is nothing we can do to change things to the way that we would prefer for them to be. Until we are aware of whom that we truly are, we can't begin to be all that we can be. Even then, it is ever a work in progress as who we are is continually evolving into something greater and grander than we have ever been.

I'm excited by the possibilities for what lies ahead. It seems that it is time for one scene in the play to come to a close and a whole new scene to begin. In some plays, this allows an opportunity for a discontinuity where a major change in the setting can occur. It will be interesting to see if it dies occur in this particular case. How else might I interpret this? The saying "don't quit your day job" comes to mind. It seems that I am not yet ready to strike out on my own. That doesn't mean that I can't start taking steps in the direction that I ultimately want to head. In 24 years, I have only had two job transitions. There first was smooth and occurred with an overlap of several months of leave. The second was smooth as well but took six months to manifest, only three months of which were covered by termination pay. It is not clear that working for someone else is the next step ... yet, at the same time, it is equally unclear how to generate goods and services that would be sufficient to cover my financial needs.

12 March 2003

This is the tenth anniversary of the second day of the Beyond Imagination expression. There was a whole week between the first and second expression in 1993. This year we mused for 6 of the 8 days between the fifth and the twelfth of March. What a difference a decade has made. Now, this expression is an essential part of my life ... nearly an everyday occurrence for several hours per day. It hasn't always been that way. Just over a decade ago, it wasn't that way at all. And then, from May 98 through Dec 01 there was very little expression. Looking back now, it seems to have been a phase or a part of a cycle that I was going through. Now, I am clearly in a different phase ... one in which the productivity is at its peak. Then again, that is peak for part time expression. I don't know what I could accomplish if I could engage in this endeavor on a fulltime basis for an extended period. Though, I do have much firsthand experience to show how productive I can be in the work environment without suffering from burnout. I can tolerate 60-80 hour work weeks indefinitely especially if I enjoy what I am doing. If I truly loved what I was doing, I'm sure that I could do even more than that. That is a lot to expect of myself. But, in many ways, my work is my life ... at least my spiritual work, this very expression, is. Many people live to play ... they live to have fun. However, I live to express ... to express whatever spirit would have me express. This has been true on and off since Mar 93, but particularly true since Jan 02. That puts us in our fifteenth month of high frequency and high quantity expression. I would offer that it is high quality as well, but that is a purely subjective assessment.

If I am to succeed in ways beyond what others do, I need to be willing to invest more of myself into what I do than what others are willing to invest. Ultimately, we reap what we sow. What we invest of ourselves ultimately pays dividends. Maybe not right away. Sometimes it takes time for the interest to compound or for the market to turn around. But, in the long term dividends will accrue for all that we give of ourselves. This is the greatest thing that we have to give ... ourselves and our abilities in service to others, our society, and our world. We have an obligation to society, a sacred obligation. However, it comes in the form of a contract between the individual and society. We've said many times that communism expresses this most succinctly:

from each in accord with their abilities,

to each in accord with their needs.

Each individual is obligated to use their abilities as fully as they can to serve society. In return, society is to provide each individual with all that the individual needs. This doesn't say that government provides this to each individual, it says that society does. How does society fulfill its part of this contract? It does so by its individuals and its organizations creating and providing goods and services to those who need them. Government and all of its varied agencies are among such organizations. Companies are among such organizations as well as are schools/universities and spiritual organizations. How do we manage the overall organization of all of these organizations? Do we need an overall infrastructure into which all of these varied agencies fit? If so, who has the authority to establish such an infrastructure? Even more important, who has the knowledge to build an effective social infrastructure? The closest thing that we seem to have to this is government. However, government does not have any real control over the economic sector. Yes, there is some regulation, and yes, there are a lot of government contracts that buy a lot of goods and services and in the process employ a lot of people. Further, the government itself employs a lot of people to provide an assortment of services. I don't have any idea of how many people are employed in this manner, between government employees and individuals that directly support government contracts. I would guess the number is higher than some might expect, maybe in the 25-35 percent range. Perhaps even higher. That's between 1 in 4 and 1 in 3 workers. That seems like a lot, but I don't know where to go to check. How do we get companies to shoulder the responsibility for matching individuals to the jobs that are best suited to their abilities at a level of compensation that is sufficient to meet the needs of the individual? That is what the social contract demands, and the economic system is the arm of society that exchanges individual services for fair compensation. The sense is that this is not happening in the current system. For one thing, differences in compensation of several orders of magnitude per hour are neither fair nor reasonable. It just doesn't seem right that one person can make more in a day than another can make in a year or one person can make more in a week than another can make in a lifetime. No, I don't believe in equal pay for everyone either. We have different abilities and talents. Some jobs are more difficult than other jobs. I haven't really thought about what should differentiate what one person makes from what another makes. The free market has been the primary influence in shaping the current wage structure. Wages are based on the forces of competition and what the market for various types of services will bear. It is almost impossible to do relative comparisons from one industry area to another.

Is the free market fair? Does it provide a reasonable estimate of value? My sense is no. But, how would we know one way or the other? The bottom line is that it is the system that we have ... and it seems to be the best that there is in the world to date. That doesn't mean it can't be better. However, it seems that when the economists try to control it their efforts are meager at best and may even make things worse. Perhaps this is because we are limiting the constraints to too narrow of a scope. Part of the problem is that the economy is so complex and interdependent that regulation in any one part has a myriad of impacts on other parts. Often, we don't know these interdependencies in advance so we cannot predict the negative impacts that will result. Does that mean that we shouldn't try? No, not in the least. It means that we should spend some time and resources on understanding interdependent systems so that we can get them functioning as well as we can within society. This is the wave of the future. Individuals are complex interdependent systems. The organizations that we create within society are simply larger such systems composed of many individuals performing particular functions.

13 March 2003

What next? What is the next step in my life? There is a strong sense that it is time to be doing something different, to be living my life as only I can live it. To some degree, I am doing that already. But, it is nowhere near enough. I am still not close to living up to my potential. I know that there is greatness within me ... a greatness that has only partially been revealed to the world. Is this to change anytime soon? My sense is yes, however only if I do what it takes to make it do so. That is OK, I am motivated now to do just that, more so than at any other time in my life. Destiny calls. I would allow it to unfold as it will. Actually, I would be an active agent in enabling it to unfold as it must. That is a different way of looking at things. In the later way, my will matters ... my will makes a difference in the world, especially if it is aligned with the will of consciousness.

What am I moved to express next? It seems that it is time to start doing something different to reach people. I have relied on spirit to bring those who are meant to find my work to me. But, is that a reasonable thing to expect? Do I not have a responsibility in this area as well? Do I not need to do what it takes to get the word out so that people who might benefit from the material might be aware that it exists and have a greater chance of finding it? It seems that it is not sufficient that I generate the material and make it available to others on the WWW. I need to take the next step somehow and introduce people to the work that is Beyond Imagination. This requires leaving my comfort zone and interacting with others in ways that are new and somewhat foreign to me. However, the alternative is unacceptable. The Beyond Imagination material deserves to be heard ... to be read. It deserves to have an audience. How large that might be, only spirit knows. Until I take the risk to publish and see what kind of response there is, I will not know. We have to give spirit something to work with. We have to give spirit a means to provide us with feedback. If we don't take the initiative and do things in our lives, we will never know how successful we might have been. We are meant to live our lives with no regrets. That doesn't mean that we have to do and experience everything. However, we do need to do and experience the things that are important to us. Also, no regrets doesn't mean that we have to do everything perfectly. Good enough is sufficient. In a resource constrained world ... we need to establish reasonable criteria for what is good enough. That doesn't mean that we should accept inferior quality work. However, we do need to accept work that is of reasonable quality for the specific task at hand.

I am close to having a book ready for publication ... Best Passages from 2002 Musings. Yes, it is a selection of the best passages that were expressed here in over 300 musings from last year. That does not make for an ordinary book. It is not fiction. However, it is not organized as many non-fiction books that are oriented into chapters that address various topics. Rather, the material is in chronological order, and is a collection of passages or quotes from the individual musings. The only thing that holds them all together is that they came forth from the same source in the same year. Is this enough to make the collection a "book"? I can only answer that I have been moved to package it in this manner ... so it seems that the answer is yes. What benefit do I expect you to get from the book? One, it exposes you to a stream of consciousness expression, to spirit expressing in flesh. Two, it provides the opportunity to walk in my shoes, in my consciousness for awhile, and perhaps thereby to gain a glimpse of awareness different than you normally experience. Three, it allows you to see how productive spirit can be, even on a part time basis, in our lives. Four, it provides insight into how you function that can be used to change your life. This includes insight into the nature of belief systems, belief management, and the nature of reality creation. But is that enough to be worth buying ... and more importantly to be worth reading. It is for me, but I'm a captive audience. I guess we'll see soon enough. Within a week or two I'll be ready to get the process going. We'll see what happens from there. My sense is that I would not be moved to do it unless it were right somehow. But, I have felt that way before and have been wrong before. When my ego is involved in the process, the outcome is far from certain and is typically far different than I imagined it would be going into the situation. Will it always be this way? Perhaps ... at least until I reign in this part of myself. I can come across as grandiose at times ... even extremely so. I clearly think highly of myself and my abilities. But then, how many have the presence of mind and the presence of spirit to express in this manner. In my experience, this is quite rare and as a result, quite precious. How do I share it with the world? Why is it so important that I do so? You would think that as a hermit, the world would be of limited concern to me. And, that is true of most aspects of the world. I simply will not be bothered. But, I would build the foundations for a new world, one in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. There is an inner drive, a strong inner need to do this. It is not something that I was taught. It is a responsibility that I have assumed naturally somehow as my very destiny. I would bear the burdens of the world to facilitate the changes that must be made. It matters not that no one asks that I bear these burdens. It is sufficient that spirit reveals to me what is mine to bear and what is mine to do. I am her willing servant. Yet, in other respects, I am also a master. 11:Justice, 22:Master Builder, and 33:Master Teacher are all prominent for me.

What do I desire to do with my life? Am I here to make a statement? Am I here to enjoy the pleasures that life has to offer? Am I here to carry out a mission and a destiny? I'm rapidly approaching my 45th birthday. It seems that I should have figured it out by now. My sense is that close to two-thirds of my life is over. I don't expect to reach 70. I may be surprised, but my sense is that I will have completed my mission by then and that it wil