05 Jul 94........18 Jul
94
07 Jul 94........21 Jul
94
08 Jul 94........25 Jul
94
09 Jul 94........26 Jul
94
10 Jul 94........27 Jul
94
11 Jul 94........28 Jul
94
12 Jul 94........29 Jul
94
13 Jul 94........30 Jul
94
14 Jul 94........31 Jul
94
The beginning of a new month. Once again, I allowed a weekend to pass without writing. The only thing I feel during most of the long weekend is tired. With the holiday, this weekend was four days. I literally slept for 12 hours each day. I like the in between state between sleeping and waking when the imagination can soar. I haven't figured out how to capture what is learned from these episodes, however.
I sense that it is getting to be time to do something to initiate a change. It doesn't have to be a large thing -- a small input at the right time can cause momentous change in the long run. Destiny is at hand, and not only for me but for many. Hmm, this comes from someplace deep within. I know it to be right. There is a timing that is coming, an event the must be achieved that impacts the very course of human events on earth. A new age will be on us before we know it. We must prepare ourselves for it as best that we can. Knowing that the new age is coming is a start. Knowing that we are spirit enfleshed is the next step. Thinking that these things are so is not enough, knowing is what counts in the times ahead. This distinction between thinking something and knowing it is a very important one. All of reality construction is based on it.
I'm in a funny sort of mood. The drugs don't appear to have their normal grip on my consciousness. I feel free to venture out a bit into realms that I've not visited in awhile. These notes have gone on now for over a year without one soul in a position to evaluate them able to read them. I find it interesting that diagnosed with a disease such as bipolar, that the medical profession at least would not use these to see how their prescriptions are working. Perhaps they don't need to see such ministerings -- relying on direct perception instead. There is still something in me that says these notes are meant for an audience. Though, if I alone am to be such, that is fine too. Let this be my therapy, my way of integrating my psychic. Hmm, it still seems to me that this material can be of great benefit to others.
This material is differentiated from other material because it deals with a soul dealing with reality as directly and as honestly as I can. Further, this soul is caught between two worlds -- the present world and the world in the new age. This continuing journal is the documentation of how the transition happens or will happen based on the best available evidence and insight that can be found. We are walking on new ground here. There is not much to go on. Further, there is little evidence to impel us to believe what we believe. This, however, does not deter us. We are part of a future that is rapidly becoming NOW. There is nothing that can prevent this event from occurring, it has been forecast for millennium and planned for in great detail. The next five years call for a show unlike any seen before in this part of the Galaxy. Spirit, indeed, does have a grand extravaganza planned -- definitely one not to be missed. But then, if you're around, you came to be a part of it all. The fireworks will be amazing as belief systems and consciousness start to emerge into the ONE that they truly are. And then your earth will burst forth as a SUN to show its newly acquired spiritual brightness.
Whenever I have thoughts like this, it makes it that much tougher to take care of the day to day stuff of current material existence. I know it's just temporary, but I just don't want to deal with it at all. Let this new reality be NOW. But, lo, such is not in my power to command.
Actually, the next 2-3 years may be one hell of a show by themselves. The key is that there will be an unseen factor that operates in the changes that will have to occur, and this factor will somehow find a way to work for the overall good. Of course, this unseen factor is spirit in action. It is always in action, always has been, but never to the degree that it will be soon.
I've never really had much to do with church, and have never been "spiritual", at least as far as I know. So, what makes me believe that this is what is to be? I trust the side of me that has spent 20 years in love with Metaphysics. Further, I trust the intuition that has grown during that time. If my intuition tells me that something will be so, I believe it. Most of the time, this involves things which cannot be proven, but that doesn't bother me. Much of my life is lived in a world of beliefs, as is true of most others. Beliefs are some of the most important things in our reality. In many ways, they even create our reality.
My head swims with new ideas. The thinker has arisen once again. What possibilities lie in the immediate future. The question of debt rears its ugly head. If it were to be determined at this moment just what the balance of debt vs credit was, I'm not so sure the positive would be the victor. But this is Caesar's trove, and not the concern of spirit. Yet we are material and physical as we are spiritual. Hmm. And what does it take to succeed in Caesar's realm? And are we willing to do whatever it takes? I sense not, definitely not. Yet, there is another voice within me that knows we have an inheritance from spirit, one that is physically manifest as well. How this might be, I know not. I only know that so be it. Also, I believe it to be coming soon though that is truly up to spirit.
You might say that I am a madman, believing in all sort of things for little to no reason and hearing voices in my head that in turn come through my hands onto these pages. Yet, the voices are kind and the messages they offer are helpful and educational. If these be from parts of my own consciousness that have been newly freed, so be it. It matters not from whence they come. What matters is the truth and love that is imparted. As consciousness, one of my highest goals is to come to an understanding of as much of what I AM as I can. I would advise that others do the same, but this is a personal choice that must come from the Heart. Once the choice is made, however, life changes, and events are drawn into one's life to reveal the nature of oneself. Once the path of self-discovery is begun, a host of angels assist one along the way. It is there for whosoever chooses it, but the universe does not insist or force one to grow. Actually, this is not quite right, within all life there is indeed an inner urge to grow, but it is not refined enough to guarantee spiritual growth, though it does support it in some cases.
In the destiny of a Nation, where will my role be? Am I to be as a king, and guide them to new way of living that will be required in a new age? Or, am I to be a prophet, prophesying a time and age that may or may never come? Why is it that I must have such a great role in the times ahead? My only real answer comes from what I know of my own abilities. I know them to be at least one in a million, maybe greater. Those with such abilities are called to use them in their life primarily for the betterment of humanity. Individuals with great gifts are given great tasks to perform that more than challenge their gifts.
We are near a breakpoint in reality where the rules of the game literally change abruptly. They don't evolve or slowly move from the current rules to the new ones. It's not clear that anyone fully understands how this will manifest. It's interesting that I just heard that there is now proof of the existence of a black hole. Here, we're talking about an object that is on the same order in complexity in the metaphysical realm. The idea is that everything entering a black hole never leaves. It just goes to wherever in time and space the other side is. For this jump to the Aquarian Age, we're dealing with the same type of thing, something that will attract everything in our world or at least parts of it. Everything caught within its attractive forces will be pulled through to something new -- literally, a new world and a new age. Something is not quite right in this scenario. There is a choice of alignment that is involved, a spiritual alignment of some type. Those that are aligned will pass into a new plane/phase of awareness. Interesting. There is nothing hostile or forceful in the process. All is determined by the level of awareness that one has reached when the time comes.
Personally, what am I specifically to do? I write these words, but they appear to go nowhere. Yes, I believe what I write, but I exist basically as a Hermit. As far as I know, no one reads these writings unless they are accessing them by other than physical means. I haven't been given the intuition as to how these writings are to be released. The few people who have received copies have not provided feedback to show that they've taken the time to read them. My sense is that the people that are meant to receive these writings are not yet in my life. When they will enter my life I do not know, however, it will be when the time is right and not before.
I'm still in the mode of trying things and seeing what happens to test the structure of reality around me. I know that I am walking on multiple foundations of beliefs many of which are shakily tied to one another. Overall, the basic structure appears sound enough to support my adventures in consciousness, but I must wonder how much is truly required. My soul calls for me to strip my belief structure to it's essence, that part which must remain to present a whole. I hadn't anticipated this, but then maybe I should have. Conscious mind, help in this analysis by using your logic to eliminate replication and any branches that are unsupported or non-essential. Subconscious mind, assure that the intuition agrees with the results. Superconscious, ensure that the structure is complete for achieving my purpose per the Plan. As it is written, so let it be done!
I'm feeling more alive than I have in a long time. Dropping the Trilafon may be what is making the difference. I'm still on Lithium and Depakote, but there seems to be a noticeable decrease in side effects. In fact, this is almost tolerable. I believe that everything in life has its reason for being. I would not be bipolar (assuming that I am) or be taking these drugs if my body didn't require them for the benefit of my spirit. I firmly believe this.
What defines what Wayne is? I've made choices in particular ways for a variety of reasons. Further, I've adopted particular habits of behaving. None of these are set in stone! None of these can't be changed in an instant! OK, maybe some, but not many. It's only a matter to decide to do things differently now because I choose to. I need no other reason. Oh, but this assumes that I have choice, that I can choose one course of action over another. Tricky, yes we are. This is a fundamental question. Do we have conscious choice of action in this play? Or, is this just an illusion and its only our lack of awareness that makes it appear that this is so? Either way, the play remains the same. The major difference is in the experiencer. Where does our awareness ride, and how do we as spirit create our own reality?
Since it makes no difference to the play, what does it hurt to act as if and at least be led to belief that one has power over one's life. It's not like one has to wait until scene 25 to turn one's character on. Life happens in the moment and each entity has a course of being that is right for them in that moment. Typically, it is whatever feels right and resonates with that individual. Having choice, however, does not mean going out half cocked doing whatever one dreams up. One must tune into the greater sphere of the cosmos and find one's position, whatever that may be. Each person is special and their position will be unique, not necessarily in the social or economic structure, but within the spiritual one.
I'm walking on thin ice. I sense that I'm in for a breakthrough tonight. The key issue is personal choice in the creation of reality. There is something bothering me. This issue is not fully settled. We'll see what comes through tomorrow. Something very important is missing from the considerations thus far. Also, this overlaps with the idea that "We create our own reality". That too requires some further revelation in the coming days.
There is not just one plan! Their are many plans interwoven of the same materials and characters. Each of you have many roles and responsibilities to carry out, some great and some small. This gives your life the richness of interconnectivity that you experience. When I speak of The Plan, it is the one of Consciousness itself. It is The Plan that will carry us to the New Age by assuring that sufficient smaller plans are aligned with it. There is a question of whether The Plan really exists until it is enmeshed in the physical consciousness of people. Of course it does. It is what propels this whole experiment in the development of consciousness. This is all for a Great Purpose. There is Great Meaning behind Life, Existence. Spirit is Manifest. Time and space are illusions. Events and scenes in the game of life, illusions also. It is the march of spirit that is the purpose behind it all. Throughout the centuries, spirit has explored many avenues, unbeknownst to it that its sole purpose was to come to know itself. What it was not told was that it was one, and that it was the experience of the collective whole that was being driven to come to knowledge of itself. All the wars, all the suffering and pain, all the happiness and exhilaration, everything experienced anywhere was part of this great coming to know oneself as individuals in countries in one world. The secret societies and metaphysical disciplines, they too have been part of this great endeavor of spirit. The great souls provided the dearest examples of spirit in flesh. Perfect examples for others to follow.
This is what it's all about. The transcendentalists realized it over a century ago. There is one collective unconscious and we are all part of that one great entity. While physical, we are individual sparks with a tie to our home reality. But, the identity as individual spark is ultimately an illusion, albeit an illusion we need to maintain to act in the physical world. The key is to focus on our connection to home as a mainstay of our existence in the world. Yes, easier said than done. But, it is well worth the effort to try.
Spent yesterday's time wrapping up the newsletter for June. Another night of very limited and interrupted sleep. I don't know exactly what's up, but that's two nights in a row. My body is rested for the most part, but the mind and higher level functions are not. Maybe they don't need to be. Here, too, a most intimate area of our life is taken for granted. We are not trained in what is normal or how to exert any control or influence when the behavior becomes abnormal. It's amazing how little appears to be known about many of the most important behaviors and functions that we possess. One would think that these would have been the objects of the most study and hence by now we would be most learned in these areas, but such appears not to be the case, for the disciplines that have grown involving these areas are very much arts and not sciences. The distinction is one of repetivity and formalization of processes. This does not imply that it is less than to be an art -- only that the degree of formalization required is much different. We may just be dealing with areas that do not permit our precise understanding. After all, there is the old question of how much can the brain or mind understand of itself. This is an open issue, one that simply may not be able to be resolved except through practice.
This comes back to the critical issue of Know Thyself and all that that entails. This is the only true dictate that we must obey for the growth of our spiritual understanding. But this means doing what it takes to know ourselves. This will be unique for each one of us. Similar techniques and processes may be used, but it is the interpretation that matters -- and ultimately, that is the sole responsibility of the individual. One can get information from the outside to help, and the advice of experts in whatever fields one desires, but it is ultimately one's own understanding that is the only thing of importance.
I'm still feeling noticeably different, more grounded and integrated than I've felt in a long time. I've even decided to hit the driving range to assess whether my overall coordination has returned. It's been a long time. My last round of golf was over 3 months ago, on my birthday -- and it was my worst round in ten years of golfing. I've only golfed 3-4 times since my world got turned around last September. My mind feels different somehow as well. There is a control of focus that hasn't been there for awhile. To a large degree, I've felt that I've been running around open loop, with little to no feedback to guide me. I still sense that this is true in some areas, but there is also a large part of me that is fortified and ready to accomplish things in this world. I feel a sense of wanting to make my mark on the world. The time has arrived for taking action in some way. The decision, of course, is what action. The concern is what can one do that is sufficient to earn a living from. Economics again! Why must these kinds of decisions be made on the basis of economics? This is a trap that we must rid ourselves of. But, what does our capitalism buy us other than a glorified enslavement to the things that our money can by. Yes, our lives are easier overall, but they are not necessarily much better. Yes, we make a good deal of money each month. However, this is consumed by bills and living expenses.
There is a lie that we have bought into about what constitutes the good life. It is a lie that sustains a way of life. We believe we are free and that our economic system serves us because we have so many choices as to where we can buy our goods and services and what goods and services we can buy. But, does this really constitute freedom? We get a free education, but who determines what agenda should be covered by that education? Why are we not treated as the complete beings that we are? Why aren't all of our needs addressed -- physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual?
The key reason is that we don't act as a whole and insist that we organize our infrastructures in a way that deals with all of our needs. The bottom line is that we all need and deserve to have our needs met in all four areas. As a society, it is important to create the infrastructure to make this so for many people. What were doing is enabling people to actualize. Actualized people make for an enhanced society in many ways. This is the first step towards cooperation and cooperative interdependence. Overall, we'll find that cooperation is far superior to competition in many areas of endeavor -- especially those involving human services. Interdependence comes from allowing for specialization and its inherent efficiencies. The degree to which we are advocating such behavior requires an overall level of trust in the sanctity of the whole endeavor.
It's not clear that we're ready for this level of expression as community. However, I sense that many are, will soon be, or would like to be. At some point the threshold will be reached and such communities will start to manifest. Some may wither and die initially, but others will blossom and grow. A community is an entity, a form of life and activity unto itself. Each will be unique, because it is a composite of its members. Yet, there is an overall structure as well that permits substitutions/replacements of individuals and allows for changes in processes/ relationships.
AMEX finally caught up with me. Last year during my intense mania I charged over $5K believing that various means would allow me to make the money necessary to pay. Disability in fact, reduced my ability to pay. The bottom line is that the loss of pay and additional bills are a trying financial burden that still surrounds me. I've made a few token payments to AMEX, but was never able to make it permanent. Things keep coming up. Anyway, AMEX has turned the account over to a collection agency. I don't know what to expect from here. Perhaps that is one of the things I should find out. What is the legal process and what rights and options do I have in that process. Gini's already made it clear that we don't have it and can't get it, so it's up to me to deal with it. Thus far, the opposition has been very nice. This was a simple inquiry with only slight hints of threats. I guess this had to happen sometime. Sitting back and just not dealing with the situation wasn't making it go away. What does this mean in the larger scheme of things? To what degree am I responsible for the actions of this character in this play? Especially, when I may be operating out of illusory states of mind induced by who knows what. Why is it that I don't feel obliged to pay this balance in regular monthly installments? Yes, I made the charges. But finances and money overall have little value to me. Ten months ago I came to the conclusion that money has no value. This may not have been fully accurate, because as a medium money allows acquisition of things of value and at the very least allows one to pay one's bills. In fact, when one is surrounded with bills, money has great value indeed -- OK, maybe not great value, but high value none the less.
I still have this belief that there will always be enough. Regardless of the circumstances, I have this great reliance on spirit to supply what is required to meet the need. I'm not sure how to explain lack from this framework other than it somehow being illusion. Our souls see to it that we all get exactly what we need. Not what we want, but what we need. This makes it hard to explain how all the poverty of the world makes any sense, but within that poverty there is a greatness of spirit that can confront such harshness and adversity. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but I have to believe in a beneficent creator and the perfection of being as it is experienced. Such is the only reality acceptable to my consciousness. And, I am part of this creator, this greater consciousness now. I have always been and will always be. We are only separated because I create the limitations that allow the separation. Further, the separation only exists within my own mind and the physical experience that results from that mind operating in a jointly created world. It is all consciousness. Everything is consciousness.
Wow, this is the first time that I've actually continued these writings at home during the weekend. For the summer, I'm working four day weeks, so each weekend is three days long. It's good to have the presence of mind and the desire to write. The feeling is strange, however. It has been too long since I've felt this way. I'm actually getting back to feeling like I'm really in this body and that I have some control over both it and my life. Imagine that. I've been in the fog for nearly nine months. The journey was necessary, but to some degree, it feels like it is over, or at least that leg of the journey is over. I'm still in the process of integrating what all of this means. I have no internal nor external reference for any of this. In many respects, I've been living life on the edge, so to speak -- on the very edge of reality itself. My focus was on the place in my brain where reality is created, and where spirit is connected. I've been experimenting with how to get spirit more fully expressed in flesh. Some of these experiments were successful, others not so much. These writings are the laboratory notes, addressing firsthand the experiences as they were being experienced.
Interesting. This is the first time that this explanation has come through. Yet, it does have a ring of truth to it. And, what is nine months to give to come to a first hand knowledge/experience of spiritual truth? Each day, it feels as if a fog is being further lifted. Though, the past 3-4 days have been somewhat of a breakthrough. I have a sense of purpose again, purpose that I can do something about now. For many months, I have not had the energy for action. Now, it's as if we can't start doing things fast enough. I sense that I'm to apply everything that I am to the tasks that appear. My sense is that the universe will ensure that the tasks appear as fast as I am able to complete them. But it's not just me. It will take an army of spiritual workers to get us through the coming years. I am to motivate and guide this force by showing the way and describing the Vision of where we are headed.
I haven't tested my connection to my higher self since these recent transformations. We are aware of your awakening to a new operating point. You are correct in your interpretations thus far. We are still here, available whenever you choose to call upon us. But, you are also aware of little voices in your head, so to speak, with which you have been communicating more frequently lately. Over time, you will find that the separation vanishes, as our voices will integrate with your own. Very soon, we will be speaking with one voice. You are living what you would have others do. You are the example, the wayshower. By your example, others will be shown that another way of life is necessary and what that way of life is. It is not for you to "save" your world as you know it -- though, indeed, your task contributes to this end. You are not another messiah. But, the Messiah may come as well to do tasks that are not yours to do.
My coordination on the driving range was good today. Another few times and I think I'll be able to start golfing again. Until my experiences nine months ago , golf was one of my favorite activities and my chief exercise. By the way golf is 7636, a 22 activity.
Watched Camelot last night. It was a very good film. I was deeply moved by the heartfelt motivation for establishing a new world order based on might for right. To some degree this parallels the current times. Much of the dream that was Camelot is a fact in much of the civilized world, though the conditions are far from as equitable and ideal as they could be. I might go further and argue, should be. Unlike in the times of the Knights and the Round Table, we don't currently have such an entity as a King whose every command must be executed. It would make things easier if such were the case, especially if such individual possessed the required degree of wisdom. No, we rule by committee, consensus-building, and compromise. One might say it is this process that has gotten us into many of the problems that we experience daily. Lobbyists and special interest groups are a case in point. Our forefathers didn't account for what would happen when the economy reached a point where it would essentially control the government by essentially buying it's decisions.
Thumbed through Newsweek yesterday as well. There was an article on Bill Gates. He works over 21 hours per day. His goal is to be the equivalent of Rockefeller and the great industrialists of the past wrapped into one. Microsoft is organized to act quickly and on any scale necessary to essentially get into any area of interest to Gates. Thus far this is centered around software, but software will be a part of a great many things in the future. Microsoft keeps its overall engineer force young (avg 21) -- and all are indoctrinated into the Microsoft way. This made me think about some of my thoughts of nine months or so ago. If I had essentially unlimited funds, I'd look at every area activity that I felt should not be pursued and I'd hire away the best and the brightest and find something positive for them to do, funding whatever beneficial research they chose to engage in. The rational is simple. These activities threaten my world, and they must be stopped -- and it's such a simple step to stop them, all it takes is the money and the initiative. In most cases, removing the best and brightest will be sufficient to stop progress on the work.
It's a bit scary. Gates is already the richest man in the country. He clearly has the resources, drive, and initiative to do whatever he wants. He definitely chose a powerful part in the play. It will be interesting to see what comes of this. Markets, profits, and whole areas of applications are all at stake. And, Bill doesn't play the game to lose. Further, the fact that he is so intense and driven to succeed at a scale beyond what anyone else would even dream makes him potentially as near a King or Emperor as we could see on this world in these times. Interesting that I would read this article on the same day that I watched Camelot. I didn't mean to imply that there are any connections between King Arthur and Bill Gates or even that Bill Gates has any ideas about how the world should be other than those connected to his business areas.
So, where does this put me. I have the ideas without the means or necessary influence to make them so. But I also have a spiritual inheritance which I claim forthright. I will be who I am, in the fullness of all that I AM, and with the resources and powers that befit this position. Further, I am of presence of mind to claim this inheritance NOW, based on the suggestion and guidance of my own intuition. I would end the hiding and finally be whom that I AM. It is time, it definitely is time. Yet, at some level I stand unaware of what all this means and what I am truly getting myself into. Once again, the thinking is grandiose, but necessarily so. I am not meant for a common life. I've known that for many years. We have a new age to bring in and it is crucial that the people be prepared for what they will be experiencing. This event is unlike any in our recorded history -- though from a longer frame of view this is a regular occurrence that happens just as the seasons change from one to another.
And, what will I do once I have this inheritance? The only task I know is to help people to more fully express spirit in flesh. The key way of doing this is getting them to know thyself through readings, lecture, demonstration, and firsthand experience. Part of the readings are being generated in these very notes, though it may be necessary to reorganize and summarize some of the material. Hmm, I knew these notes were filling some need. The rest of these need to be worked out by preparing for and conducting classes.
My sense is that through conducting classes I will learn what it is that I need to learn to bring forth the vision and to serve as the example. I came as one who would show the new way of being necessary for entry into the new age. It requires some level of realization and commitment to the principle of cooperative interdependence. There needs to be a level of spiritual awareness achieved that places one in a position to accept the principles upon which the Aquarian Age will be based. These principles are not hypothetical, what-if kinds of things -- they form the very basis of how reality is created. What these are specifically in the age to come still need to be identified and spelled out. Peace, brotherhood, cooperation, sympathy, understanding -- these terms begin to lay out the character of the age. The astrologers can help some more, but I'm not versed enough in their discipline to know what characteristics they would apply.
More and more, I see that I'm supposed to work at the level of dealing with the whole picture. I need to understand who knows what and where their knowledge fits in the grand scheme of things. Further, I need to integrate multiple viewpoints into a holistic world view. The focus seems to be on the nature of reality and reality creation. In particular, it seems I am responsible for figuring out how our understanding of the nature of reality and reality creation can be altered in a manner that allows spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh. Once this has been achieved, the additional flow of spirit can achieve the required works of advancement. The bottom line is to follow whatever expression of spirit that one can bring through. Too many people live a basically automated existence devoid of higher spiritual expression. This is a choice/situation that no longer has to be. As I write this, I also know that life is perfect in it's expression here and now at every moment. Being perfect doesn't mean that particular conditions can't change.
Realistically, where do I go to find a job that allows me to do such things and use such abilities? This is one of the shortfalls of the current economic system. The system is based on whether a given set of jobs produces sufficient profit to warrant their existence. There is really no concept of recognizing that something is a job that needs to be done and then getting paid to do it. Many such jobs would greatly enhance life or services but provide no benefit that someone might specifically want to be a share of. This is where we need a new way of treating people and the services that they can provide. The bottom line is that our economy gives us a level of goods and services per person. If we employ more people and employ them more effectively, this level can be increased -- substantially, if we can really increase productivity by having people do things that employ their talents.
Another voice in me says that the natural process already in place has resulted in some of this. Many people are employed in jobs that are matched to at least some of their skills and abilities. Unfortunately, we're still dealing with a world where manual labor is cheap, and skilled labor is not that much more expensive. This is exacerbated when we look at things on a world scale.
For things to work, people must get sufficient income and services to meet their physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs. When people don't get this, society suffers. It only makes sense to establish the appropriate infrastructure to make this so.
We need to take a hard look at freedom. What does it mean to be free? I can live my life as I choose so long as I don't harm others or break the laws of the land. OK, now what are my first choices? Place to live, job, relationships, lifestyle. A whole other area of choice is beliefs. The whole belief system is a choice about how to interpret the world. Being free also includes the concept of mobility, that I can go where I choose when I choose, so long as I stay out of any private property. For most of us, a traditional job is required, locking us into a schedule of roughly 50 weeks times 40 hours of work per year with 2 weeks paid vacation. That's just the way it is. The people that control the economic system have determined that this is the amount of effort required for us to have a particular standard of living. We really don't have much of a voice in it, especially so long as there are many people looking for work that would be glad to have our jobs. This is free enterprise at work. It works very well at the top, but maybe not so well at the level where the work is done. If you're happy just to have a job, why. Is there not more to life. Should not the job be part of the entire lifestyle? If we choose to buy a house, we typically lock ourselves in for an extended period, at least five years. It seems that each time we make a choice we further limit not expand our freedom. Nonetheless, if the choices are all made satisfactorily an enjoyable lifestyle can arise. We can get used to our chains no matter what they are and come to think of them as the gifts and pleasures of life after awhile. So long as we are kept from dreaming or envisioning what could be, what we have is enough, we simply don't see the limitation. So, how do we soar to freedom? I wish I knew and could tell you now, but I know not -- though I expect that this will change very soon.
Why am I so insistent that change will happen soon? My being was activated spiritually nine months ago. It was as if a key unlocked a sheath that I had around myself. It's taken nine months to go through the process of berthing that new entity. These notes are the documentation day by day as the process was occurring. It's interesting that it is almost nine months to the date. Very interesting indeed. This was more than a spiritual awakening, it was a spiritual birth. I am different now than I was then, more somehow. Over the past two weeks, much of what I knew to be my old self has returned and been integrated into the body. Yet, that part that was experienced over the past nine months is just as alive and active within the integrated whole. Now, it is time to do something with this whole. Actually, a period of further growth and learning is in order. This will begin forthwith. Birth is just the first stage. The new spirit needs to be nurtured to adulthood. Unlike humans, spirits grow at a very accelerated pace so this time is relatively short, ranging from 6 months to 2 years. Well, at least that sets a timeframe. Why is it that I believe this to be anything but fantasy or a flight of my imagination? Overall, its utility will prove itself soon enough. Thus far in my life believing in the source of information that flows through me has proved useful. Utility is the strongest test for anything.
Connections. Much of the information that flows comes because new connections are made between various things. My mind is good at making these connections, especially at a high level. This process of communication has a logic of its own that naturally leads to the revelation of greater and higher truths. This, too, will reveal itself as the process is applied. There is also an addiction to the expression of spirit that ensures that the channel will continue to flow to whatever capacity it is capable of. Once again, there is a question of to where is this information to go. We answer, a river does not know to where it's water will ultimately go. Don't worry about it. Spirit will take care of ensuring that the information gets where it needs to go, just as nature takes care of the river's water.
We tell you similar things in different ways because such is necessary to reach different people and even different parts of yourself. Do not consider this replication or duplication. What is it that I am supposed to do? Do what you are moved to do. You will know what this is, there will not be any doubt. Further, when you are finally prepared to act, all manor of force and circumstance will come to your aid, for your true work is divine work and spirit will ensure that the conditions are there to enable it's completion. We did not say that it is time to act now. You will now when the time is right and what action is necessary.
Will my teaching involve a teacher? No, spirit can communicate directly to you now. Much of the programming takes place during your sleep and semi-awake states. For instance, last week you had several body asleep mind awake evenings. Was this why I was sleeping 12 hours + per day during weekends last month? Yes and no. The major reason was as a result of the berthing process itself. That was what your system required. Don't question it. Go with whatever feels right. Overall, you should eventually require no more than 6 hours sleep per night.
Is there anything I can do to facilitate the changes that are occurring, and especially my spiritual growth? Yes, do what you are naturally interested and attracted to doing. Go with the things that excite you. Allow this continuing communication to be channeled as much as you can.
Watched "The Sandpiper" last night with Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. Very good, overall. Really made one think about values and the nature of love. This was definitely a 60s picture with the whole conventional value system turned upside down. Yet, it was done in a way that was somewhat believable. Besides, you just can't beat the pure scenic beauty of the Big Sur area. It is some of the top real estate in the entire world.
Watched "The Man Who Would Be King" this afternoon. Sean Connery and Michael Caine played their parts magnificently. Unfortunately, their motivation was riches. Further, if the story correctly represents Kipling's and if Kipling's stories portray the behavior and ethics of an empire extending it's boundaries, then something can be said for civilized behavior evolving over the centuries. Once again we have the Might makes Right problem that was supposedly addressed at the round table at Camelot. But, not all the world participated in this glorious time of progress, and what does one do when one deals with the savages or heathen -- or those less enlightened. What is the standard of behavior that is correct in the interaction between peoples. At what point will we understand that we cannot enslave others or subject them to conditions less than those with which we are accustomed. Yet, at the same time, when I interact with a third world nation -- how much responsibility do I have to help them to achieve what they would achieve for themselves. There is no standard by which all in the world should necessarily live. Yes, throughout the world all should get their needs met. The way of life, and the interaction of people with their environment determine a lot about needs. The test of whether needs are being met properly is the degree of happiness that is experienced.
Elton John has a #1 song out that deals with Love and with "Kings and Vagabonds". I find it interesting that this concept of King is attracting me so much. Yes, I would be a Philosopher King were such a position offered. It is not clear that I am ready to embark on such an adventure to claim the title as "The Man Who Would Be King". Something rings true here. Not all the connections are made. But, they are getting close. Soon I will be doing that which I came to do, and it is along these lines even if it must be done behind the scenes in silence. Why would anyone allow me to perform this role? They wouldn't unless there were problems or unknowns to face that I was able assist with. If my abilities and talents are truly what I believe them to be, then I am more than qualified for the position. The key will be the ideas and principles that I generate. Will these be sufficient to guide the world into the new age? I'm not asking much of myself now am I? Yet, this is what I came to do. I know it in my heart. There is no doubt that conditions will unfold in such a manner to allow me to play out my part.
There is some reason that I am a Hermit. I come from an order that is dedicated to helping systems through major or life threatening transitions. Earth is now in such a state of transition. Those of us of the order work alone. We operate with a degree of separation between us and those that we assist. Our focus is on the level of spirit that is manifest in a system. We determine where it flows easily and where it is blocked and do what we can to help remove the blockages. Our sole aim is to allow spirit to be more fully enfleshed wherever we can. This is what facilitates the transition. Personally, I've incarnated as a 2 ray soul, 5 ray personality. The first is devoted to Love\Wisdom. The second deals with Science. This provides for an interesting blend that is highly unusual. Yet, I can only conclude that it was required for the tasks with which I must deal.
Back at the office. This is a very different world from my space in Monterey. Hmm, it's interesting that I live in two different worlds physically. The mirror of this is that I live in two different worlds spiritually as well. I had thought that it was the physical and spiritual that were the two worlds. But, the divisions are more than this. In each realm there is a practical and a dream/imaginary world. Both have equal importance and are equally able to create experience.
The songs from Camelot still vibrate through my head. And, Elton John's "Kings and Vagabonds". There is something to all of this. I am being moved by the universe to where I need to be to play out my assigned role. At this point, I know not where that will be -- nevertheless, I do not doubt that consciousness will guide us there when the time is right. As to how my thoughts, intuitions, and actions might have greater impact; I know not. Yet, here too I trust that consciousness moves things in the direction that is required.
I noticed yesterday that many of the songs I listened to had a deep meaning in addition to an emotional pull driven by the beat. It is this combination of meaning + beat that provides the rush of power. There is definitely great power in the word. I don't know how others are affected by this, but I am deeply moved. The collective experience that the music industry is providing in the United States is having very powerful effects, not all of which are necessarily positive. It is not clear that driving energy to a frenzy where there is no adequate avenue for peaceful release is a safe form of entertainment. Sound can be used for good or bad -- no, energy can be used for good or bad. We must be ethical in how we choose to use it.
We are all unique. Yet, we are all spirit manifest in flesh which makes us all the same. There is no reason, however, to assume this commonality of ancestry gives us any true commonality in our experience of reality. Nature provides a common backdrop that gets as close as the functioning of our very bodies. The next step is not so clear, that being how our minds work. Here, the experience is very different between individuals. Further, these differences have dramatic impact on the way we view and experience reality. Reality is what is real to us. It matters not what another sees as real except as possible input to our enlightenment and growth. Here then is where these notes have their utility. They offer a view of reality that is far different than most experience. Further, they present the ideas and experiences that have seen that view change dramatically over a period of time. One could say that this is an example of how a free spirit approaches day to day life. Though, I would not exactly consider myself a free spirit. Not yet, anyway.
I found myself thinking a lot yesterday -- in a manner that was not yet suitable for capturing into notes. Further, the writing is much slower than the mind and speech can go when they are moving at full speed. And, yesterday, the thoughts were indeed moving at such a speed. It appears that such activity is necessary to bring integration, to allow the various thoughts to congeal into a larger form. It is this form that then is let loose to manifest what it will in alignment with the form. I did not experience a vision of what the result of this activity was. I only know that I was definitely at peace when it was completed. Neither was I exhausted, but, I felt the strength of spirit within and around me. Only time will tell in what specific ways the form will manifest.
It's still so amazing to me that we can exist with so little knowledge of who we are and how we work. Know Thyself. Why don't people take this advice from the ancients seriously? It's the only thing in the history of the race that has truly meant anything. Perhaps, the answer is that we had to experience everything that we have gone through to allow all of Spirit to get what it needed. There is a sense that nothing is wasted -- that we experience what we must and only what we must. This is true both globally as well as for each individual. But, is there not any way out -- can not one accelerate the path by which one gets beyond the illusion? Yes indeed, such can be done. However, few seem to realize and experience this. They are far too lost in experiencing their illusions. They wouldn't think of freeing themselves from their own limitations. Even if they did, they wouldn't have any idea of how to do so. This is why a wayshower is required. The 15 vibration must be overcome. My light in my bedroom at home went into a 15 configuration with a loud pop on Saturday. In fact, I was surprised at how loud it was. I've had many lights go out, but none like this. It's time to release myself from the chains of darkness that I may know how to show others to do the same. My sense is that the change is very subtle. It's as if we were missing something that was bright as day if only we had turned around in a certain way and opened out eyes. Yet, this turning is an inward turning of the mind toward the greater spirit that it is. Yes, indeed, this is what I have been doing over the past nine months, turning my mind ever inward to wherever it would go, seeing whatever it would see, and sensing whatever it would sense. But, this should be far simpler. I needed to understand the process. For many, it is enough that they make a change -- understanding can come later if it is required. A thought just came to mind, the way out of 15 may be to look at it in the mirror as 51. Another way out is through completion via 63, but this entails much sorrow and suffering.
There is a change in the air. I can feel it. A new day is upon us, and further days will be as this one. Spirit walks more fully among us as we speak. It charges the very air we breathe with a freshness that marks a new time on this planet. Let's see 7/11/1994 = 2012, also 18+23=41. A new day has arrived indeed. There is not a more bountiful card in all of the Tarot. Another sign that we are on the right track in our endeavors at trying to understanding where reality is taking us. Yes, taking us. Reality is not some fixed thing that one discovers and then that is the end of it. Reality is a process, the process of creation in progress. This feels to be a fruitful line of thought. We are not on fixed paths that take us onto fixed points. We are on paths that themselves are alive and synchronize with us any interaction we are to have. We get our true inspiration from following the path that was designed to match our heart and our temperament. Such is the path that we must find, and follow to wherever it may lead. We are consciousness in flesh. The flesh and the path it takes is the means for this consciousness to gain experience. Typically, it the enfleshed consciousness has limited awareness of its higher level functioning. It becomes wrapped up in the experience of day to day living, being so strongly associated to the form that it literally sees nothing else. And, for the majority, this is required, because the lessons that they most need to learn involve just such an association. This is changing, however. Such strong association is no longer optimal for growth. It is time for greater awareness overall, but especially in those who would lead and teach.
I feel different as well. I have a presence of mind and a confidence in the course of things to come that I don't remember ever having before. Destiny carries us on her path, and it leads towards new and greater things as spirit is allowed to express once again. Throughout history there have been times when the course of human events were greatly altered because of men who believed in ideas whose time had come. This is another of these times, but it will demand that we integrate all that has come before -- seeing what was right and what was not from much more spiritual eyes. Our consciousnesses will have no trouble distinguishing. The time has arrived to establish a new order, one unlike any known before. It's time that we truly establish a Heaven on Earth. It is well within our abilities. All that it demands is a resolve and willingness to cooperate and make it so. Of course, we also need to define what "Heaven" is to us.
Where does control and power fit into all of this. The answer is, it doesn't. There is no power structure in the new age that resides with particular individuals. This individual have functions, roles, and responsibilities in line with their abilities -- but they do not wield power over anything. People that are operating in a cooperative interdependent structure achieve an overall strength for the group, but not for any specific individuals. People have jobs that are necessary for the society to function as a whole. In theory, no one job is any more important than another. In practice, those with greater abilities will have greater roles to play -- but, because the abilities are there and because jobs of the greatest importance will have qualifications of character as well, there will be no chance that positions are abused. Here I go again, writing as if my utopia will be realized. Maybe not completely, but something close to this will inhabit this planet by the time that I'm finished with this existence. Right now, that's around 2012, I believe. That puts me on my third cycle of 18 years, the Wisdom years. Here too, everything points to the same overall meaning. Had there been one or two, or even a few indicators, I might have been able to chalk them off to circumstance or bunk. But, there are so many that I've lost count.
I'm here for a purpose that involves bringing through of Wisdom required to guide the world into the new age of Aquarius. Exactly how this is to be done is unknown. However, I sense that I came because this is something I have done before. You could say it's a special ability of mine. Also, I just can't see worlds bring themselves to extinction -- the hero in me, you know. I haven't even thought about what were the tools of the trade. Wow, I just assumed I had what it takes and that anything I might need would just be there. I have this naive trust that a benevolent spirit watches over me. At other times, I know that spirit to be just another part of me. So, along with the seen forces and abilities, the are unseen ones that are just as important. No, more important. It is on the unseen side that much of reality is created. My strength will always be knowledge of Self and Love/Wisdom. My tools/weapons will be knowledge of the nature of reality and reality creation, and beliefs. These literally make one a magician in this world. I'm not there yet, but it is only a matter of time. Actually, it will be so when the time is right and not before -- no matter how much that I wish it would be. Trial and error is my present mode of operating. Do something and see what results. Find what works and stick to those methods and techniques. Don't worry yet about whether it has universal application. We need to build a force within you, and then turn that force into an eternal spiritual flame. Actually, it won't be eternal, it only needs to propel you through 2012. Your fire has been conserved long enough. It's time to burn brightly. You can explode into flame as well if you so desire, but it is not required. One might say that thus far, with the exception of a brief moment last July, you've only had the pilot lights operating. Yeah, all of these months as well. This is but a trickle of what can come through you when all the burners are on fully. It will be tricky to manage your state. The fire will appear as some type of mania, but it's character will be somewhat different. You'll definitely be operating on new circuits, and this will require a time of adjustment. For you, this is going to be a problem/challenge all of your life. The nature of your task calls for you to find new pathways of organization for the brain. These pathways are circuits and connections in the brain. Your primary task is to keep making these connections as fast as you can and then communicate what it is that you have realized. This will be your primary service to the world throughout your life.
Within the present play, I've given myself a lot of freedom. These notes are a primary activity for me and I don't necessarily write them "on my own time". Here I am definitely a bit confused. I know in the present economic system that an employer is paying for one's full time and effort. Yet, nonetheless, for the past 16 months or so, I have found myself taking hours here and there to write. It's as if there is a spiritual law operating that is higher than the economic law. I now do the tasks that come to me as part of the job, and I do them to the best of my ability. I've developed an expertise and level of trust that makes me valuable. The quantity of specific output however has reduced dramatically, and this has been so since I returned in November. One way to look at my experience was as intense burnout. I don't think that was so, but I can see how others might have viewed it as that way. Bill D. still treats me as a bit fragile, not wanting to overwork me lest I break again. Part of the problem has been that there has been very limited work that I could really get excited about. This, however, will be a problem almost regardless of what the work is. Nearly everything pales compared to the spiritual work that I so desperately want to do. Maybe my desperation is the problem. I'm too attached.
OK, where do I start? How do I bring the Twin Dragons that are Beyond Imagination to Life? My ring is a key somehow, showing the main patterns that need to be established. But, who is to fill each of the lead roles? And, how do I attract them to me and this work? Something Angela wrote to me comes to mind. From deep within the Dragon's lair; treasures behold to share. Is that what these writings are all about? Am I the Dragon, or is there an energy/entity yet to come through me when the time is right? My sense is that I have not yet reached this state/place to find the treasures she is talking about -- however, it is clearly something that I am meant to do. This may describe the means for achieving my part in all of this. Interesting that I had not seen this from this aspect before. Interesting indeed. And, why this came to mind now vs a hundred other times when it may also have been appropriate.
As a free person, what are my rights and responsibilities? It seems when it comes to the economy, my rights are quite limited. The bottom line is a fair days work for a fair days pay. And, here is where the disagreements arise. Free enterprise would have you believe that fair pay is whatever the market will bear. With a surplus of workers, this keeps wages low. But, what is the motivation to the worker whose wage has been suppressed in the manner? To lessen his output of work of course. This makes it a constant battle for employers to get employees to work harder or at least to some agreed upon standard of performance. Before unions, workers were on their own in addressing grievances, resulting in no power when addressing a hostile management. Somehow, the needs of management and of workers must be aligned for enterprise to work. The next problem lies in getting rid of the enormous differences in incentive for people in various jobs in the company. Being a company president is not 1000 times harder than being a janitor. Why should their compensation differ that much?
This is a problem in society overall. We have levels or classes in this country just as they had in Europe. This is mainly an issue with established well-to-do families. Part of the problem is that we still have a situation in this country where wealth makes might. Power is held by the richest men in the world. They literally control everything, even wars and governments. Unless we can achieve the equivalent of a modern day Camelot, the world will continue to suffer. We are in a position now to change the world on a scale that has never been seen before if we will only use our incredible wealth for right. But we must know what is right, and what must allow that to be revealed naturally by spirit. It is not for us to decide this is what we will create, it is for us to decide that we will co-create that which spirit reveals to us.
When I say spirit, I also mean higher or consciousness. This is not a religious term. We are all spirit in flesh. We all are consciousness experiencing life through this physical form. Maybe I should have said Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual form. For, there is really no separation of these elements. The box does not exist when you take away a side. However, what can differ greatly between people is where they put their focus. It does not matter where that is. There is no focus inherently better or superior to any other. However, different focuses result in different natural abilities and ways of looking at the world, hence different utility. One should pick one's focus for the utility it provides for the tasks at hand. Since one's tasks change over time, so should one's focus. Many people allow their focus to get way out of line for their tasks. This has resulted in many couch potatoes locked in a physical/emotional viewpoint. Locked into a physical viewpoint doesn't mean that one is necessarily into aerobics, though that would indeed be a positive expression of this.
How does one change the world? By changing one's self, of course. The wisdom in this answer cries out. This is the only practical way that such a monumental task can be done. Here is where the transition from self to Self comes into play, not just for one but for many. Now, this ties with what Beyond Imagination is here to do and how it may need to work in order to achieve its objectives.
Less than six months left in Monterey. We want the house to close just after Gini's birthday on 19 Dec. Then, it's off to Flagstaff or who knows where. I still prefer the 10K square foot house with the 10 foot fireplace on page q of the Homes Magazine. The huge desk in front of the massive windows is definitely a place where decisions that impact the whole world should be made. Seeing these houses, I get the impression that they are made specifically for the person/people that is/are destined for them. There is something in me that is familiar with living with that level of material abundance. Spiritually, it does not matter. One can live with whatever level of abundance one desires, in line with the roles or tasks that one plays. It is this "in line with" clause that keeps everyone from manifesting huge mansions. Besides, who would be available to work to clean these huge places if everyone had them?
Personally, I don't feel a need to leave Monterey at all. It is indeed time to sell the Monroe house, but there is a strong attraction to the area for me now. I still sense that some of my work is to be done from there, at least for awhile longer. I'm not sure how things will change -- but, I sense a major shift. These are almost like magic shifts, with the forces of Heaven coming into our lives somehow. I don't know how else to describe it.
What to do for work is a big question mark. I haven't figured out how to package my services in a way to make them saleable. Further, I'm not sure that I want to. Perhaps I can find a benefactor that can fund my work and serve as the external vehicle for getting it out. This is a definite possibility. But, I would need someone who is convinced that my Vision is sound and that my ties to source are trustworthy and reliable. This is not to say that everything said is true or that everything prophesied comes to be. This is too much to ask. But, the source is reasonably accurate and useful.
Now, who would pay me simply to write notes? Consciousness knows who this would be and brings this person to me even as I write. Further, writing notes full time would increase the quantity and quality of what comes through. The more one uses a channel, the better it becomes at passing information. From where is the information passed? Only consciousness herself knows. Further, it may indeed be from consciousness herself.
I can't get the songs from Camelot out of my mind. They're very catchy. Yet the myth contains a great truth behind it. I know this by how it stirs the soul. Only truth affects it so. Camelot too was a utopia for its time. Why is it that people find it so hard to imagine that life can indeed be lived like that? It's all a matter of choice. After all, there's not a lot of challenge of adversity in such a life. This does not mean that there cannot be equal or greater challenges to propel life forward and make it worth living. We've been exploring the dark side of things so long that we have no idea what the light side is like anymore. Not to fear, we'll remember quickly enough.
America could be the next Camelot. But, it will take some major changes on several fronts. The preparatory groundwork for some of these changes is beginning, but the forces involved have no clue as to magnitude of change that will be required. They believe that they're operating at a particular level, but they will awaken and find that they've opened a hornet's nest that will not be shut again. Once the spirit of a new order is let loose, nothing will be able to stop it. Why do I insist that such changes are soon to happen? Because such is what comes through me. I know not how to filter the information, other than to catch the ring of truth that accompanies it in my heart. I have learned to trust this process, because in essence it is the greatest service that I feel that I can give unto the world.
Interesting, the information is really flowing this month. I feel as if a huge weight is lifted that had limited my full expression. The drugs and their accompanying side effects were a large part of this. I'm still using Eskalith and Depakote, but I will talk with my doctor about reducing their usage as well. I don't want to use any more than needed to control the bipolar condition. Even then, I'm not sure I want to use any drugs long term. The lithium is a salt, so I don't feel as uncomfortable with it. But, Depakote is an acid. It's strange for me to have to look to a doctor to make this kind of decision for me, especially when I don't necessarily believe in western medicine to begin with. Can the doctor truly know more about what's going on in my brain than I do, especially after only relatively few overall observations and a little blood work? The Trilafon and Cogentin must have really been potent. They appear to have caused much of the distressing side effects either by themselves or in combination with the other drugs. Interesting how this works. There is definitely an art to prescribing medications and getting the results to come out with the greatest beneficial effects and the least negative side effects -- definitely an art indeed. Part of the problem is that human beings are individuals and have a range of reactions to various drugs and other substances. Each case is somewhat unique.
Then, too, there is the idea that it is the belief system that to a large degree will determine what happens. We also have to allow for cases where things work even though the belief systems of the participants are contrary or have no component relevant to the activity. In these cases there is a larger belief system in operation that includes the scientific evidence for a particular belief system such as Western Medicine. When these larger belief systems operate, they appear to be able to override the belief systems of individuals. Actually, it is more than override. The larger belief systems seem to establish behavior at an overall level. In this case, the overall sickness and wellness of the nation is determined to a large degree by its health care beliefs and their embodiment in its health care system.
I feel more at peace of mind than I have in ages. Yet, at the same time, I feel an urgency to take up the mantle of spirit and start making this a place that I truly want to live in. It's time to set the molds for spirit to inhabit. Further, this is to be done with our own bodies. We are the vehicles for spirit already. However, within us lies much untapped potential. The waiting time is over, it is time to truly tap into who we really are, and in the process open up the channels for spirit to flow within us. These channels lie mainly within our brains, but these are supported by various bodily systems as well. This being is an interconnected whole remember. What affects any system affects every system. Similar the community of individuals is an interconnected whole as well and what affects any member affects all members. For the most part, these effects are subtle on the whole -- however, in some cases they can be great indeed. Just look at how much impact the O.J. hearings had on the country. They virtually captivated the complete attention of the country for nearly two weeks.
How do I transfer what I know and how I feel to others rapidly. I sense that there are many who are at a crossroads in their life, in limbo between a way of life that they no longer find satisfying and a new more spiritual way of life that they want to express but haven't found the means to do so. These are the souls that I need to reach. They are on the forefront, the first phase of the Legion of Light. They specifically came to lead the way that a host of others might follow. These are advanced souls, only now remembering who they are. Each has a chosen position to fulfill and a purpose and mission. These Lightworkers will indeed be known by their works, and their works will be glorious indeed. It is not yet clear how great the battle between Light and Dark will be in the coming years. Depending on the efforts of the Lightworkers, it could be hellacious or a piece of cake, or anything in between. But, from one perspective, it doesn't really matter. We're in the equivalent of a 3-D movie experience. Nothing that happens sticks. It's all an adventure of consciousness experiencing itself. Many people love to watch horror films. They love the sensation of feeling scared. Others prefer to have nothing to do with such films and experiences.
There is a question of why are we here. The bottom line seems to be "to experience what we came to experience". Part of how we know what this is, is by how much excitement and joy we get out of various experiences. These are our guiding rods, pointing the way. Where our purpose and mission lie, there too will be found our happiness.
Where to start. Once again this rears its head. I could spend all of my time on these writings, but who would that serve, especially in the near term. How does a Hermit go out into the world? For, that appears to be the only option open at this time. And, where, after all, should I go? Here my intuition has drawn blank. For three years, I have believed that I have been drawing my spiritual family closer to me. Yet, not one has yet revealed themselves. Part of the problem is that I'm not really accessible to meetings that might be fortuitous. It does not seem likely that a stranger would come to my door, and say I'm your long lost spiritual sister. So, in practical terms, how do I provide the vehicle that allows for meeting those that I am meant to meet? Here's where classes and word of mouth offer potential. We need the word to spread physically and this doesn't happen by some magical means. Either you have to go out to various groups or you need groups to come to you. It will work either way. What about the Rosicrucians or the Masons? If you choose, you can work through such orders. At the very least this would give you a large group of spiritually minded brethren to start with. However, we see you operating more independently. Interesting that one in whom the individual nature is so strong speaks so strongly for the return of the individual to the ONE. Yes, interesting indeed.
It just struck me that many people were born on April 8, 1958. Further, anyone born on April 8 in any year would have been hit by the same energies that I was hit with. Also, those born on April 11 (and October 11) are experiencing similar energies now. The planets aren't exactly conjunct but they're only one degree apart. What determines how the energy affects a person is whether the awareness is refined enough to be able to receive it. This is why many were unaffected. Only those who were ready to go onto a greater phase in their life where significantly impacted. Where there was great impact, there is great urgency in allowing spirit to lead one's life. These are the ready ones. When they started this existence the time of their calling was determined. It was up to them to prepare themselves for the time of reckoning by applying their talents towards their interests. Always, this was there to guide them on their path. Simply follow your interests and see where they lead, and in the process come to know thyself. For Wayne, this path was 35 years and a few months. For others it may be more or less depending on the needs of their own beings. For still others, it is many lifetimes.
I don't know how long it's been since Neptune and Uranus were conjunct, or how long the period lasts, or even how many signs on what days were impacted specifically by this energy. I only know that I was impacted big time by an occurrence which is a once in a lifetime (or rarer) event. Further, it is greatly significant because of the association of Neptune with the passing Piscean Age and Uranus with the coming Aquarian Age. Neptune and Uranus being together in the sky is highly significant. It's as if they had to come together to pass the baton from one to the other. The role of each is as the timekeeper for the age. Another meaning may be that we are at the joining between their associated signs. These places on the astrological chart only reach us every 2000 years or so. Always, they mark times of great change. Many times with great turmoil associated as well.
Hmm. Where is all this coming from? Am I truly a channel for this information? Or, am I making it up / imagining it? How can I know? I only know that I write what comes through me, trusting that it will be both true and useful. However, much of what comes through reads more like speculation and opinion than fact. Where does doubt come in to play. I've been writing these notes for over a year now, and never have I doubted what they have to say. I guess this makes me a believer of sorts. I do know that my own material is mixed in with that which is channeled. There is not much I can do about that given how this material comes through. That which I write is much more prone to human error. There is nothing wrong, however, with error -- so long as we right it when we discover it. My style is to continue to write as if I were stating facts whenever I write. To my mind, at the time the statement is written, it is fact. Further, there is usually no way to test or verify the statement anyway. Let the material stand on its own, and judge it solely by its utility. In particular, it's utility in preparing you for the days to come.
Further, even if information comes through me, only rarely is it solely based on reasoning about facts that I know. The truth is that I am not aware of how my thought processes work. I don't know how the words appear in my head. It is not a conscious activity that I have full awareness of. I see the results, and sometimes some of the inputs, but I have no insight into the actual process itself. I see the words when they come out of my fingers and appear on the screen. I have an awareness of hearing the words just before they appear, but I know not where they are leading. They don't present themselves to the physical part of my mind of which I am aware as completed thoughts. They are as a letter stream (or word stream). There may be other parts of my mind with greater capabilities, but I do not possess firsthand knowledge of these parts. This is not surprising. There is much of which we are not aware. Though, I can really only speak for myself. In many respects we live in a very magical world, a world of wonder where in many ways we haven't the foggiest idea of how things truly work. Yet, we don't let that bother us. We live our lives anyway. Interesting. Very interesting, indeed!
May not get much time to write today. Gini is very excited about the potential of a move to the Flagstaff area by the end of the year. She's planning a trip to check it out the first week in August. Thus far, I have no great preferences. I know that the area is beautiful and within an easy drive of some very spectacular scenery. Sedona is relatively close so the new age energy is present. Yes, it snows in the winter. But, that could be tolerable if we are working out of the home anyway. Who says that I have to be physically present to provide my services. I don't necessarily pick up a lot from seeing a person or being within their energy sphere. I may be able to work from a set of inputs from which I derive a higher level interpretation. This kind of service could be provided from anywhere. A set of questionnaires could be the basis for requesting necessary inputs. I can continue my writings and newsletters, though this doesn't do a whole lot of good unless I establish a client/reader base.
Now, how do I get to the position of Benefactor, where I can fund others to do various spiritual projects and activities that are necessary. I don't even need to come up with the tasks -- just find good people who are coming up with their own tasks. Just as it would be useful for me to have someone pay me enough to free me to use my talents in whatever way that consciousness or spirit directs -- so I desire to do for others. This is true freedom, something that one cannot experience while enslaved to a job for money. The job would be to provide my services for free to those who needed them. The test of need is an interesting but required one. We are not to provide our services to just anyone, but to those who truly benefit from our specific services.
Interesting. I wonder what lies in store in the days ahead. I sense that the times of abundance are coming soon, very soon -- especially personally. We have passed some threshold and reached some state where we are in union with the universe again. This time, however, the sense is great abundance. Such will be necessary to do the works that are to be done.
On a more global level, the economy is in for some very shaky times. It's very foundations will be questioned and rattled and it is not clear how things will turn out. The bottom line is that much of the foundation is vaporware. There is no true basis for the value of things. Hence, the dollar, stocks, real estate, etc... only have the value we give to them. The policy of defining value as the price someone is willing to pay is foolhardy. Yet, we must have a basis for exchange in this society. Actually, ownership introduces this problem. If we didn't own anything, just operated on a right to use basis -- we wouldn't need a basis for exchange. If we operated under an infrastructure where all that we needed was provided for free -- we definitely wouldn't have to deal with exchange. Basically, it's all a game, and we've come to the point where we've realized that it is so and we don't like the rules any longer. There are only a few choices: continue to play in spite of not liking the rules, change the rules, or quit playing. It will be interesting to see how this plays itself out. Much will depend on how quickly people can adopt a new way of existing economically. Barter is likely to be a primary mode of exchange of services moving much of the free economy underground. Overall, it is not yet clear how we create an infrastructure that frees people from lack on any level, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. But such is what we must create as a society if we are to keep that society from crumbling at its very core. It is time for us to decide that we will build such a self-responsible community where all members are fairly and equitably treated. We need to be a society of people helping people, not one of people hurting people or people in fear of people. For one thing, this means that the level of crime is simply intolerable. Here too, we have to examine under what conditions the criminals are raised and educated such that this behavior is chosen.
Do we really need to focus on the problems, or can we imagine the society that we would prefer to have into place. Do we fix everything at once with one vision and one sweeping reform or do we do it piecemeal, one area or problem at a time. My sense is that if we take it problem by problem, we are really treating only the symptoms. The trouble lies in the core, with the services that WE, society provide to ourselves, our individual members. In the past this has been relatively little. In the future this must increase greatly.
Had dinner with Larry last night. He asked a good question. Why must things change? They seem to be going along fine for a lot of people. Most of us in this country are individualists. Our forefathers were rugged individualists. It seems that we are in the play to allow this extreme to be realized. Yet, I know there is a strong force pulling us back to the ONE. This will definitely impact how much we can express as individuals versus what we express as a society. Japan has lived the other extreme -- with the individual subjected completely to society. Somewhere in between lies the middle way where the individuals cooperate to create a society that in turn serves them by providing the infrastructure for meeting their needs effectively.
I guess the meteorites will hit Jupiter on Saturday. I wonder what significance this will have for the solar system and, in particular, for us on Earth. This is a very important event. Let's see, 7/16/1993 = 23!23. That's interesting. The Chariot, The Tower, and the King of Wands or from another standpoint, the King of Wands x 2. Highly significant for me, since that is what my first name reduces to. The explosions predicted are far beyond anything we've ever seen. However, I don't believe we have any sensors in position to gather any information. One possibility would be an orbit change that could impact the entire solar system. I don't believe the meteors are large enough to cause such a change, however. Then again, I don't know any details. There is no intuitive sense that comes about the meaning other than it being an activating kind of event. What gets activated, we'll have to wait to see. Further, because of the scale of the event, it's an activating event for our entire solar system. Also, it's a reminder that we too are subject to these kinds of trigger events from the Cosmos.
I'll have to ask Jim on Monday what is associated with Jupiter, and what the significance of a major collision / explosion / interruption is on the energy of the planet. Further, what part of life on Earth is this likely to effect. This is how information sources work from the top down. We need connections such that the top knows what information is needed and where to go to get the information. I personally don't need to do anything that another can do for me. Of course, this is not true for everyone, but it is definitely true for the people that are going to be near the top of the new social infrastructure. Further, the idea is to rise to the job that you are most suited for -- not, as the Peter Principle warns, to the one that results in incompetence. Do what you love, just do it in a manner that provides benefit to society as well. Society is a web in which every individual has their place, their roles, and their responsibilities -- but also, the means for meeting their needs effectively and efficiently.
Let another weekend go by without writing. However, it was a busy weekend. The auction + dinner afterward took nearly 16 hours, making for a very long day. I was very tired all day Sunday so I just didn't feel up to writing anything. I'm in a slightly depressed state. I'm starting to be able to tell the depression from the normal from the mania states. I don't seem able to control them, however. They seem to come and go in fairly long cycles, on the order of 2-3 months, maybe even longer. April was a mania month. July overall appears to be depressed. I wonder if the states are tied to astrology in some way. April was a fire month, but so is July-August and the feelings are not the same. If there is a connection, it will reveal itself.
The asteroids hit Jupiter today! I haven't felt anything different in terms of energy. My intuition says there should be a noticeable change, that this is the start of a string of events that will have dramatic impact on our lives. We'll just have to wait and see what actually happens and what is revealed over time. Once again, it is the meaning of events that matter, not necessarily the events themselves.
I'm suffering from an uneasy feeling that things aren't quite right. I'm not able to express myself as I would like. Things aren't flowing smoothly. Spirit doesn't have the proper means for expressing itself in flesh fully. The tasks I'm currently doing don't fully engage my talents and abilities. There must be more to life than this. These notes keep me sane to some degree, at least providing an avenue for me to voice what is inside of me. But, even then, I feel somewhat constrained knowing that eventually the notes will indeed be read. On the other hand, I know that the information must be released to not only free myself but to free others as well. And, we must be free to be able to do the tasks that we came to do.
Actually, looking at the earlier notes from the month, only the past few days or so have been in a state of depression, with maybe a day or two, here or there during the month. My theory would be that the Fire signs would cause all of my spiritual energy to soar. Nov-Dec was highly productive, Apr was quite manic, we're just about to enter Leo. It will be interesting to see if my state moves toward manic again -- especially given reduced dosages of drugs.
I've been doing a lot of thinking this month. It is not yet clear whether that is good or bad. In fact, my brain has been moving so fast that it is impossible to get even a summary of where it has been and what it has considered down in writing. I trust that paying full attention to the thinking as it is happening is good enough. The results will go naturally to where they need to go, and they will be available via recall whenever they are needed. I don't believe that we have to work to do this. This is how minds function. They are there to provide their services whenever they are needed, at whatever level they are needed. I'm trying to get my brain to work as a subservient tool to my spirit -- while being aware that the brain itself is a highly complex somewhat autonomous agent in its own right. It pays to solicit support via cooperation and mutual benefit/interest even between parts of yourself. These parts typically want to work together, however they are subject to barriers and limitations you have imposed on their activities through faults in your belief system.
The drowsiness is back big time. I've been fighting to stay awake all day, and have not been succeeding in doing so. As I nod off, it's interesting -- I feel as if there is a slight tightness around my head just where a crown would rest. Hmm, interesting indeed. I've probably had this sensation over a hundred times already today. It's a very pleasant and powerful feeling. This writing is starting to bring me back to life, though, there have been times in the past where even this didn't work.
So, what needs to be spoken through this vehicle today? We are glad you asked, that we might have time to speak our piece. The asteroids hitting Jupiter today and this week are indeed important to your world and to all of your solar system. Whenever events happen on this scale, they impact everyone. How they will impact things is not so clear, but a course of events has indeed started and this was the triggering event. There is no going back in the play. From the Pocket Astrologer, "Jupiter is symbolic of expansion and the higher mind." Perhaps the asteroid impacts and subsequent explosions will force this expansion and expression of higher mind to new degrees and levels.
I've noticed lately that less information seems to come from "higher" sources and more directly from conscious sources that I am aware of. There is not a sense of being tied to my intuition or to my superconscious. It's as if those distinctions no longer exist. I am Wayne, I have these parts, but, I express as a whole being. Furthermore, I no longer need to subjugate my conscious mind so fiercely. It too can be a useful friend and ally under the appropriate circumstances and with the appropriate guidance and understanding. I am still here to accomplish tasks in accord with the Plan related to preparing people for the new age that lies immediately before us. I'm anxiously awaiting the days when I can perform these tasks as my sole job. Until then, these musings are my way of preparing myself and a few others for what lies ahead. The exact timing is still unknown, but my sense is that the estimated dates of 1996-98 are close. Also, it is not clear how the Play will proceed. We only have hints about the opening scenes and the overall themes. The details are still wide open, primarily because the process of reality creation is still on-going. Literally, many of the details have not yet been formed -- even in thought.
I'm still struggling with personal reality creation and how much we want to get attached to creating particular things or experiences. This includes the whole area of setting goals and working to achieve them as well. I've never really operated in this mode. And, it's not clear that after 36 years it's time to start. I've always believed that there would always be enough and that whatever I needed for my growth would come to me. I don't have to have goals to make this happen, I just allow natural processes to operate. This does not mean that goals have no utility. Anthony Robbins has created an empire though a process that heavily involves setting and doing what it takes to achieve goals. He is a master at motivating not only himself but others as well. My sense, however, is that this gets one too wrapped up in the illusion of this world and personal power within it. The techniques work, at least for many people. The question is whether this is Black Magic or White. The answer is that it depends on how it is used and how its use affects the person that is using it. Hmm, I hadn't thought of this in this way before. That's part of why I had an uneasy feeling seeing people use various techniques that Anthony Robbins taught. There was no ethical standard associated so that one would only use the newly acquired powers for the good of all concerned. Spiritual law compensates for this, but in a silent way via Karma.
The whole idea of attachment is of special concern. Overall, I do not want to be attached to this world. The spiritual directive is to be in this world but not of it. Attachment is what makes one of this world. Now, the key question becomes how is it that one satisfies the directive to be in this world. It seems that spending all ones time on spiritual things that are not yet here does not live up to the letter of this law. As a hermit, it is particularly tough for me to find ways to participate in this world. But, the directive does not say participate, it just says "be". Hmm, I'll have to consider that a bit more before resolving it within myself. However, this is the right line of thought to be considering. This applies on the home front as well. What can I expect of a wife? How is spirit expressed jointly in a marriage of two people -- especially two nearly fiercely independent souls? I want to make the world ONE, yet I haven't been able to make my own household one. The key lies in cooperation. Without it, no unity will ever arise. Here, too, I have limited experience, at least in this existence. Deep within me, however, is a knowingness that I have what it takes to do the job that I have been called to do. We are much more than we have experienced in this existence. We have talents and abilities beyond those we have yet developed or displayed, inherent abilities that can be called out when they are needed. This applies to all of us. There is nothing particularly special about me in this regard.
Had a good meeting yesterday with Bill D. My Loral work is moving in the right direction, that is, in a direction that appears to be useful and that I can pay attention to for sufficient time to get it done. Being able to focus and pay attention to things is a major issue. I don't feel that I have full control over this. It's as if there is something that throttles down the enthusiasm for anything that it judges is not worthy of my time and attention. One key that helps is having to interact person to person in meetings.
Overall, I'm feeling more composed and grounded within the body. The side effects from the medications are fewer and less pronounced. My consciousness doesn't appear to be shifting as abruptly. Changes are much more subtle overall. I'm feeling much more laid back, still somewhat anxious for change, yet at the same time knowing that I can wait and let it come to me in it's own proper timing. It's as if I don't have to make things happen, only facilitate and allow their happening. This is a much simpler task! Or, at least it can be.
I'm definitely feeling the sense of being in this world but not of it. Overall, I presently touch this world very lightly. Yes, I consume resources. But, my life has impact on very few others and only slight impact on most of those. At the same time, I sense my that my life -- or my works, will have great impact. As of yet, I have no insight as to how this will come to be, but I have no doubt that it will indeed do so.
The Tarot reading I did for myself two days ago was extremely promising. I don't remember the details, but I recall that the specific cards and their groupings were highly significant to me and related well to other major readings in my portfolio. My overall sense is that things are on course and that we should be seeing some major changes in the near future. You could say that I'm expecting magic to happen, and in many ways you would be right. I do expect changes that are unprecedented caused primarily by forces that are largely unseen. I have no doubt that we are moving toward the Aquarian Age, and that whatever changes are required to get us there will indeed occur -- no matter how "magical" they may need to be.
This gets us into a past/present/future dilemma of sorts. The guidance has always been to live in the present. All that is is here and now. Yet, there must be an expanded present as well, where the Age of Aquarius has already begun. Expanding the present involves taking in part of the past + future as well, and realizing that they all exist simultaneously as one greater NOW. It is only our method of experiencing that pieces reality out in this manner. This is within our power to change -- it is dependent on our level of awareness. A moment may be a microsecond or a thousand years, depending on the perspective. Eternity can be experienced in a moment of any duration. The nature of how we experience time is a mystery. As such, it is unlikely to be unlocked or revealed in our meanderings of consciousness. Mysteries have a sacredness around them. They are infested with spirit to the point that our standard means of explanation have little to no validity. Mysteries are to be experienced and known, not analyzed and understood. They strike our heart and intuition first, and then leave their impression upon our brains. They draw out our sense of awe and wonder and elicit feelings of great joy and ecstasy.
Let the magic happen! That the world may change to allow the Age of Aquarius to be ushered in to see the Light of Day. It stands there waiting for its appointed moment. LIGHT will express itself, as gloriously as possible, and we shall see a brilliantly golden millennium of peace, the likes of which has not been seen on this planet before. But, there is much change necessary to bring us to this point. From whence will such change come? Who will provide the motivation and the means to carry this out? It can only come from spirit moving individuals to act in a united manner to create the world that we truly want to live within.
This is what cooperative interdependence is all about. Now, it runs on automatic without the benefits that could be realized were people to apply their abilities toward consciously manifesting a new society. Unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence to conscious competence to unconscious competence. That is the path through which new abilities are acquired and developed. This path can only be followed via awareness and the overall awareness level hasn't reached either conscious phase yet. We have to realize what is wrong before we can fix it. Then again, there is the issue of who needs to know. Is it enough that the decision makers understand the process or are we only going to make those changes that the majority agree with. This depends on how spirit channels its Will. Is it through the majority, or through enlightened independent individuals? I would argue that the later are more likely to receive the required inspiration and intuitive information, but the majority may still need to be convinced that a particular set of changes are indeed in its best interest.
Then again, beneath the surface there is intense coordination and cooperation occurring to manifest what must be manifested. Individual experiences will be brought in line with the greater themes that are being played out. What must be done will be done by whomever is right to do it. Interesting. Though, it makes you wonder why there are poor, battered, and homeless among us. What benefit is there in such experience other than to be an example of how dark things can get. All experience is perfect at some level, however. It is not for me to judge what is right or wrong for any individual, that is for the spirit of that person to decide based on what is required for the individual to learn whatever lessons that individual needs to learn. Experiences are our teachers, they teach us something of whom and what we are.
I want to live in a Utopia, a perfect world. To some degree I already live in one, but there are many changes that I would like to make. The biggest change is to have people focused on recognizing and meeting their own needs and just as importantly the needs of others. Along with this is the change to make society (i.e. all of us) responsible for all of our members. It is not the individuals responsibility to make their way in the world alone or independently, society plays a major part in this as well. Society needs to dictate what infrastructure, goods, and services will be provided to members. This is not something that we should leave to the legislator or the kings of industry to decide. They need to be put back into place and realize that they exist to serve us, not to control us.
Actually, these are relatively minor changes overall, but they have major impact -- especially to the power structure. Companies currently possess the most power in this country. Economic power is in many ways greater than political power especially in terms of how it impacts our lives. Unfortunately, the variables in economic decisions do not pay much attention to the unique abilities and talents of individuals. Perhaps there is not yet a way to ensure these are tapped -- yet, there are still jobs that require some level of human ability to do. For awhile, we may have to keep the status quo, allowing people to pursue tasks that use their more creative abilities on their own time. Hmm. I don't really like that answer. It still comes across as using the wrong tools for the job at hand. This is extremely inefficient and wasteful. The question comes down to a matter of time. Should I take 6 hours doing something that I don't want to do because I can't afford to pay someone that has the tools and expertise to do the same task in 1 hour? Something is lost in the economics of this. The economic system should provide sufficient services and service capacities to meet societies needs. This should be considered independent of societies ability to pay for such services. Free enterprise sets prices at whatever the market will bear. Perhaps there is some utility for doing this for some services, but I don't have the ammunition to make a case for it. If we allow people to get whatever they need for free, in return for providing their own services for free, we don't need to establish prices for anything.
How am I supposed to determine what it costs for an hour of a hairdressers time vs a carpenter vs an engineer vs a baseball player. Further, why should owners get huge profits on the work that is done by their employees? This is a very sticky area. Our founding fathers didn't expect that money and economics would become such powerful forces in the running of the nation. How could they? They came from an agrarian society with many rugged individualists. Such is not the makeup of the country today. We only have to look at the influence of lobbyists on policy over the past 30 years to see just how much big business runs the show.
Something has to change on a grand scale. Were talking about fundamental change, stuff that affects the roots and the core of what our country is all about. The crucial point deals with how independence is rooted in our system. Independence does not work as a valid way of existing in a spiritual age. We are all ONE. Within ONE, there can be no independence. Whatever is felt as separation must be illusion -- and independence can only be experienced as otherness and separation from. As a country, so long as we so rigidly identify freedom with independence we cannot manifest our spiritual destiny as a wayshower nation. But, how do we even begin to get beyond this? It is so ingrained within us. The only thing I can see is that something drastic is going to have to happen to make us aware of our need to cooperate with one another, and how interdependent we already are. Then, the shift is but a minor one that is obvious in light of the experience. With some of the natural disasters we have seen examples of this, where people are absolutely amazed at how well people helping people works, without the government or any outside agencies getting in the way. When faced with a common "enemy" so to speak, people rise to the occasion and live their lives heroically.
So, why isn't this same cooperation applied to everyday reality? Why does it require a disaster to evoke? Why can't people be the heroes that they truly are all the time, or at least much more often? For in such times are our lives truly lived. Our destiny is set by how we handle such moments. Also, by how we attract ourselves to such moments. Each of us must choose how we will express those unique powers that we alone possess. There are many channels for expression, none of which are required. We are always free to choose. However, we also evaluate our progress in this existence by the lessons we learned and the choices that we made -- but, we do this after the fact at a time when we cannot change what we had chosen.
Along this line, I sense that my destiny is being set, and that soon I will experience a series of moments that alter my life completely, that of many others, and maybe the country and the world. Yes, I'm still thinking on a grandiose scale. It is not within me to back off from this. Whether it is right or not, only time will tell. I sense, no I know, that it is right. I don't, however, ask you to believe based on my word alone. Develop your own inner sources. Allow your own intuition to provide you with your own information and answers. Until then, use what is useful or what feels right to you.
The notes are flowing smoothly this month. We'll have to see how the full moon energy affects what comes through in the next few days. I'm feeling good about life overall, but I'm ready for some major changes. The employment issue is a major question mark. I no longer wish to sell hours for dollars, yet I need a substantial monthly income to pay the bills. Until the economic system changes, I am somewhat stuck to working within its rules. Two other alternatives that I can think of involve selling my writings and finding a benefactor who believes strongly enough in my work and abilities to want to fund me to continue do/use them. Both are possibilities. There are probably many others as well that the universe could come up with. I know that I need to be free to do my work full time very soon. I don't sense that it is now for some reason, but very soon. I don't know whether very soon is a week, a month, or three months -- though I sense the later. Hmm. That at least provides a basic timing. Now, the question is what has to happen to make this so? And, in particular, what is it that I need to do? At the very least, it would seem that I need to start getting some of my work out to someone.
How would me writing have to be packaged to enable me to sell them? This would also require finding the right publisher. However, if this is truly a play, this only requires trusting the intuition and going through the motions. Would finding a benefactor be that much harder, especially if that benefactor were a spiritual brother/sister? Details, details. Leave these to the universe to decide. I will play out whatever role is most in accord with the Plan. Let's get on with it, however, that most important part of the Play can begin. Yes, yes, yes, it's all important, but some of it is more important than other parts. Let the times of intense changes begin.
God helps those who help themselves. What does this mean? Why is it coming through now. Do I indeed need to take the initiative and take care of the details? Or, is there another way in which I am meant to "help myself". Interesting that the original quote is in plural. It applies to the singular case as well, but there is an expanded meaning that includes the case of people helping people. There is an added synergy that comes into play in this expanded sense. So, what does it mean for me? I don't yet have a team around me that can provide any type of support. You could say that I'm as individual as they come. Yet, I have a more detached concern and love for all. It's as if all of humanity is in some way my family, and I'm here to make the conditions better for all. It doesn't matter whether you've asked that I do this for you or not; this is what I came to do and I will indeed do it. My mission is in many ways all that I AM. All else in my life is of minor importance compared to this -- to show the world to a new way of being that the Aquarian Age may be brought forth on earth. For, you see, the Aquarian Age is in many ways a state of mind -- one in which spirit is more fully enfleshed.
Let another three days go by without adding to these notes. I spent a lot of time soaking in the energy of the full moon and processing an endless stream of rapidly moving pictures that were running through my head. I don't remember having this specific sensation before. Occasionally one of the pictures would slow enough to come to mind for an instant, and I was cognizant that I was viewing and image with people, conversation, and things that I had not experienced before. These definitely were not memories from this existence. It was a strange experience. Yet, I felt connected to the scenes in some inner way.
Until recently, I never really took the time to sit on my upstairs balcony and look out over the city and the ocean. I am very privileged to live in a place that is so scenically beautiful. The ocean, the hills, the forest, the sandy beaches - - definitely a feast for the eyes. Further, since the balcony faces east, it is perfect for sunrises and watching the moon. I definitely am a lunatic. There is something magic in that heavenly body that brings out the wonder of being. The emotions also appear to gain added amplitude, though the Lithium and Depakote deaden this experience for me. I'm happy with my memory bank of images. I don't know what I'm accessing or being hooked up to, but whatever it is it seems to be important to my further growth. It's as if I'm being connected to my history, a history that goes beyond this existence.
So, what does this mean? More changes. Each step prepares me a little more for what I need to do, whatever that may be. It appears that consciousness joke on me is to keep me in the dark through much of this preparatory phase. I trust that this is for good reason. Something about not wanting to be blinded by the light. Foofer's blindness is somewhat troublesome. She's not taking it very well, letting her fear get the best of her. At first, she was still relatively confident and performed various maneuvers with relative ease. As the days have passed, however, she has started to lose any interior map of the premises that she may have had and she has started to bump into things. She is coping, but she is definitely not at her best. It's very interesting observing how the mind copes with such changes in sensor input. We had another dog, Bunny, that went blind and it never really phased her at all. It was as if she had memorized the house and yard and didn't need to see to be able to get around. Reality creation is very much tied to how we represent and interpret sensory information. The same sensor failure, blindness, can have very different impacts on personal reality for different beings.
I trust that the process is unfolding as it is meant to unfold. I don't have to force it or direct it. It will go where it needs to go and guide me through whatever experiences are required to manifest whatever destiny I am here for. It would be nice to see for myself, but I have absolute faith in the ability of consciousness to serve as my guide so long as is necessary. I would be happy in following such guidance, even if this were to the end of my days. In the end, what matters is that The Plan is achieved so that all consciousness, the ONE can be raised. Such is the cry of spirit. For all this time we have played out our game in darkness. Let there be Light, that all may see their true nature as spirit and release the chains of bondage to darkness that they have accepted as a part of their being for so long.
These notes are becoming my vocation, rather than my avocation -- though, as yet, I have not figured out how to get them to translate into dollars. Geraldine saw large dollar signs associated with my writings along with very wide distributions. However, it is not clear that the stuff that I have written thus far is appropriate for a wide audience. Yet, I do not feel compelled to write anything else at this time. There is no book burning to get out. I do not see myself engaged in writing fiction. Then again, my story thus far as documented in these continuing notes would be considered to be fiction by most. How do I know it is not? I must trust that my experience as the observer of myself is real. The experiencer part is too locked into the illusion to know fact from fantasy. However, to know this, one must already acknowledge a duality of self that many never realize. And what does this buy one? Not a whole lot necessarily in physical or monetary terms, but a great deal in mental and spiritual terms. Knowledge of self is indeed the greatest of gifts that one can be given. It is given only to those who have prepared themselves to be ready to receive it through steadfast dedication to the pursuit of self-knowledge. There is no other way. One gets what one focuses on. For spiritual growth, one must focus on the unfoldment of the flower of consciousness. Consciousness itself must be nurtured, understood, realized, and transcended in a seemingly neverending process. This requires observation and great patience. The self will not be rushed in its awareness of the Self. Everything occurs in its proper timing. The whole purpose of the game is ever-expanding awareness of self. At some point, this self becomes Self becomes ONE becomes ALL THAT IS. This is a very powerful process, however, it is the only game great enough that it could engage consciousness so thoroughly. And, what an engaging game it is!
Both my scientific and metaphysical backgrounds are telling me that we create the limitations that allow our world to appear to us as it does. Further, we do this in every aspect. In many ways we are stuck in a 3-D film. There should be a way to shift our focus away from what is on the screen and see some of the true background reality that constitutes the theater. Hmm. This is what meditation is all about. Close off one's senses from the outside world, and find the true reality that is left. Interesting. I hadn't seen it like this before. This is what I do when I zone out from the world. I tune into another source that is not the broadcast reality. This is also why I've had no interest in news. It simply didn't matter, having no impact on my life. Nearly a year ago, I gave up all television as well -- with the exception of an occasional video.
What type of change is in store? Is the present film simply going to come to a conclusion, to be replaced by a new one for the new age? If so, no continuity is necessary, since all coordination can be handled between movies so to speak.
Just drew a Tarot card for the evening, the Ace of Pentacles, Card 69. This card comes up a lot for me, at least three times in the past week or so. The key phrase that "all may partake of material goods and reach the mountain of attainment after recognition that the universal consciousness is offered to all who seek it." Very appropriate, very appropriate indeed.
Hmm. Does this mean that Gini and/or I have not recognized this yet. We do have much more/ higher quality goods than most people. However, the attainments leave a bit to be desired, and along with the goods came a great deal of debt that is troubling to us now. So, what is the solution? What does it mean to partake of universal consciousness. I believe that I have indeed been tapped into this source for well over a year. However, the tap appear to have a handle that controls how much inspiration and material flows through it. It is not yet clear what it is that controls the tap. However, I don't believe that I do consciously in any way. I have to let go to allow the flow of information to occur. Let go and trust that whatever comes through will be an accurate reflection of what spirit would say through me. My own consciousness is involved to various degrees from paragraph to paragraph. Actually, it is all from Wayne, an entity of which I, the conscious part, am only partly aware. My sense is that this will always be the case. The journey toward Self-Awareness is an ever expanding one, and there is plenty of room to expand regardless of what level one achieves. There is nothing that says that one can't enjoy and apply ones breakthroughs for awhile. Beware, however, that there must be a constant longing to continue on ones way that comes from deep inside oneself. Be sure to listen to this longing of your soul to find greater expression. Each step puts you in a bigger world, a bigger playground, but every playground has its limits, and where we are ultimately headed there are no limits. When this will happen, I do not know. I have not been privileged to experience such states of being yet. Further, I'm not sure they can be temporarily experienced. Then again, I'm not really sure what I'm talking about. The words come through from a source that I do not know. They definitely did not come from anything I remember reading. Further, I have not thought about these topics in this form. I want you to understand the nature of these communications to give you an idea of what is possible. Remember, I'm an engineer with an MSEE from Stanford, 11 years of Air Force work, and 5 years of defense industry work. To say that my peers don't understand what I write about is a huge understatement. But then, they haven't had the background in Metaphysics nor the year of experiences that I've just been through. It's very hard to discount personal experience. Yes, it's biased and far from impartial, but it happened. Because of these notes, I have the record of a dramatic changes in mind and consciousness that occurred over a period of one year. Further, they were changes that 20 years of metaphysics, including three seminars with firewalks, did not even begin to prepare me for.
Looking back now, it's been exactly a year since the intense mania started to kick in, though I didn't know it at the time. By the end of Aug, I was flying so high that my feet were barely touching the ground. At one point, I literally believed that I was God. Yes, with a big G. Spiritually, I was soaring and having a wonderful time. On 1 Oct, I was in a mental hospital having to unravel why the universe (and reality) hadn't behaved in accord with my models, especially since everything I was perceiving agreed with the models. What I forgot to calibrate was the tendency of sensors to look for what they want to see. I was expecting the external world to behave in accordance with an internal one that I had created. This neglected a key factor, WE create our own reality, and we do it cooperatively primarily at the subconscious and superconscious levels. It took me awhile to learn this. For joint and mass reality, the individual has limited weight and authority, it is the group that matters.
Throughout this time, the key area of confusion was one of identity. I now know that I was experiencing states of being in which I was a part of something greater, yet I was not aware of the separation or partness. Being Buddha, and being God, and being Cosmic Consciousness -- these experiences were wonderful and I lost myself in the immensity of the experiences. Now, I realize that I am these beings, but only as a small part. However, if I took a cell from my right thigh and were to ask it who it was -- it would answer Wayne, just as any cell would. That is the only identity it knows. It has no separate existence. Similarly, when Wayne acts from a state of mind that is in synchrony with Buddha then Wayne is Buddha. It also didn't hurt that my birthday happens to be the same as Buddha and that I live in a town next to a town where there is a Chinese restaurant, the Golden Buddha, that has a huge Golden Buddha in the restaurant. When you operate heavily from the intuitive side, associations are of great importance and there are no coincidences. All the details are intricately planned to have specific effects. It's amazing how fine this granularity goes. There is layer upon layer of meaning interposed upon one another in a fashion that allows each of us to get the specific stimuli and experiences that we need for our highest growth.
As you can see, it is easy to get lost when you are exploring new country without any references points and with no support. However, as a wayshower, my sense is that there was no other way for me to experience this. My hope is that others can benefit from where I have gone and what I have documented. Even more important, I feel that I am in a position to be of service to others undergoing this kind of change by being able to ask the right kinds of questions to assist a person in the psyche transformations and belief system changes that occur. Jointly, we can develop a new framework for identity that incorporates the awareness shifts and serves the whole person.
My sense is that every experience will be unique, so the process must have sufficient flexibility to deal with the variability in people's transformational experiences. However, there is hope. The basic tools that consciousness has at its disposal are similar From person to person and relatively limited in number. Out of these basic building blocks our conscious reality is created and experienced.
OK. Here's another area where I can be of service. But, to whom? Where would I find my clients? How would anyone have found me? A few possible sources: ad for people experiencing particular kinds of changes associated with spiritual awakening; talk on changes associated with spiritual awakening. I can't really expect the psychiatric community to refer anyone to me, now can I?
How could the services be structured? Written material + classes + one-on-one. Yes, the three pronged approach would work. I'm sure this would allow me to make the transformation process easier for people. And, yes, it does need to be facilitated. There is too much risk to force each individual to find their own way through the wilderness. The line between sanity and insanity is far too narrow. Besides, it's not elegant. It's easier to send out explorers followed by trailblazers followed by the masses. Elegance is a prime directive. Spirit uses it whenever possible. And, in this case, it is definitely in the best interest of all consciousness.
How do we create a shift to group awareness? How do we get individuals to realize that it is what we experience collectively as a group that has the greater value and that our individual experience is only a piece within this? What do things like the amount of crime in this country say about us collectively as a country? Some developed countries are starting to think of us as less than civilized. We lead the world by far in this area. Why do we tolerate it among ourselves, and why have we not started to address the other problems from which it stems? Crime hits the security buttons in most people. There is a sense that the streets aren't safe at night, and that doors everywhere need to be locked. This is a far cry from what I remember experiencing in the 60's when these were not concerns at all.
Drugs are another area where this country has a major problem. Why do so many people need to alter their moods or states of mind so badly that they need to use drugs to do it? We'll never get rid of the drug problem until this large customer base goes away. There is simply too much money to be made. Entrepreneurs are willing to take even great risks to get a market share. Further, they establish organizations that for all intents and purposes beyond the laws of any country. They are already in an illegal business. Why would they care what laws they break?
For both of these problem areas, we are dealing with people who have been let down by the system. The bottom line is that the infrastructure, whether public or private, is not supporting them in a manner that allows their needs to be met. Hence, they resort to crime or to drugs or in many cases to both. So, what do we do? We send them to prison, or rehab and put them back on the streets -- generally without providing them with viable alternatives to their former behavior. So, they go back to what they know works, because they have no other alternatives. And, we, the society, don't care enough to put an end to this. Somehow, we expect the individual to "take responsibility". But, the individual doesn't have control over the infrastructure in which he lives. There must be a give and take here, a WIN/WIN relationship between the individual and society. When we tolerate crime by not fixing the situations that encourage and allow it, we create a LOSE/LOSE scenario for the temporary benefit to the criminal is more than overcome by the eventual loss (assuming the criminal is caught).
We need to start thinking more creatively when we look at how we structure relationships between individuals and society. To start with, we need to consider society from the broad view that includes everything needed to address the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs of all our members. This is far more than government, it also includes industry, religion, and nearly all professions and services. The whole is here for the sole support of the collection of individuals. We need to find ways to ensure that this support is provided in equitable manners to where it is needed. Also, we need to ensure that resources are applied in a manner to best meet the support needs. This would argue for a super council that would oversee the overall operation of the whole social infrastructure with departments of government, economy, industry, education, and services. It is not clear that the government, within the constraints of the constitution, could grow into this superstructure. My suggestion would be to generate a new more encompassing social constitution that specifically defines the roles, responsibilities, and powers of this new superstructure. This could be a tough sell. In many ways, this country still operates as a loose collection of independent states. Not surprising, since we still have the mentality of a loose collection of independent individuals. It will be interesting to see what happens to cause this to change. For my sense is that it will change, and change soon.
This philosophy needs to eventually extend to the world as well. If it is demonstrated to work here, that will be a great start. Further, the power gained by unleashing people to use their natural talents in performing their work and providing their services will result in goods and services that are far more competitive than found anywhere else. People have been hungering for a society that truly works for a very long time. We don't need to have such a wide split between the poor and the rich. People can be provided with what they truly need. One simple limit is to have the people justify any increases in their needs. A variety of methods can be used to assist in educating people on the difference between needs and wants. No one need go hungry in a country that exports and dumps food. It's simply insane. All that it shows is that we are a people that do not care for our own countrymen. In Europe, such would be almost unheard of, primarily because the society is so interrelated. With construction workers out of work, there really is no reason that shelters couldn't be built for the homeless. They don't need to be mansions, simple small rooms would be fine.
There are many who will say they have everything they need, or at least have the opportunity to get it. Keep the status quo. With all the change you propose, how do I know things won't be worse for me rather than better? All that I can say is that the economy will either have to change or it will crumble, so anything that is tied to it or to the value of a dollar, is not going to mean much. I suspect that the magnates and typhoons of this world already know this and are trying to figure out how to keep their empires and their power. Clearly, they are not going to hand it away without a fight. Here's where the power of the people comes in. If we band together and create our super council with powers over industry yet allowing the owners some power of their own, a reasonable compromise may be struck.
This is turning into one of my biggest months for notes. We'll have to see how things work out in terms of writing between now and the end of the month on Sunday. Not that I'm trying for a record month. It's just that the material seems to be flowing relatively smoothly and is just waiting to be expressed. This is very much a therapeutic and integrative process for me. It also gives me great joy and a sense of accomplishing something worthwhile. The whole process of putting ideas into words is fascinating to me. It is clearly part of what I'm meant to do. Excitement must be one's main guide in determining what work one is destined to do.
So, it's another day. I had a relatively sleepless night, yet I feel refreshed. My mind was working on overdrive examining things that are beyond my recall now. I remember being fully occupied and waking up many times. The sense is one of high activity -- working out a lot of things, and being fully aware of both the process and the results. Yet now, looking back, I do not consciously remember what was accomplished and how. Interesting. It's as if my conscious mind is allowed to observe and participate in the now, but not in the past. Interesting indeed. But then, my memory has always seemed to be unlike that of other people. I don't know why, I just accepted it for what it was and never really needed it to be other than it was. From another standpoint, it is part of what makes me (and each of us) unique. Yes, we are all human. But, within that framework, there is extremely wide variation, especially when it comes to processes of mind. Basic body parts and functions are quite similar, but even in this there are genetic differences. However, we are mistaken if we think that because we basically look alike we are alike. For, this is not the case at all. Someone said "you are what you eat." It would be more correctly stated as "you are what you think." Many people just don't think very much. Even there, one has to wonder whether that too is part of the role they came to play.
My mood is high today. I feel energetic, ready to attack the tasks for the day. Even my Loral work is appealing (or at least tolerable) for a change. This should remain so for at least the next few months. After that, who knows. Then, I'm in the mode of taking life one day at a time. However, I need to , as Kipling says, "fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run." Overall, there is a sense that I am not doing enough. I am thinking a lot, and I am daydreaming and soaking in a lot of intuitive energy; but, I am not doing that much. It's as if my time to act has not yet arrived. I'm still waiting behind the scenes, preparing my character for the role it is about to play. I know not when I will be called, but I have no doubt that the call will indeed come. Further, my sense is that the time is nigh. It's an intuitive sense, not yet backed by any specific evidence.
So, given the circumstances and state of mind, what can I be doing now? Once again, we answer do that which you are moved to do. Only you can know what moves you. Actually, for you, this moving force is consciousness itself. That is why we can state this with such conviction and know that whatever you do will be right -- for it will indeed be spiritually inspired. Along with this comes the directive to not act until you are so moved. You are doing the work of consciousness now. At this very moment, this work is the writing that you are doing right now. Allow this to continue as long as there is further information to flow through the channel. Continue in your pursuit to know thyself. Let this be this be the major focus of your energies. You are passing through a critical period of time. Everything you do to enhance your awareness will be accelerated by unseen forces that are there to assist you. They are always there, but, now more than ever. Use this to your advantage and the advantage of any that you assist. Allow consciousness to provide a boost that uplifts you to new heights and glories.
OK, given that, what am I moved to do? This is where I seem to run into a stumbling block. I'm moved to write, but beyond that it is not clear that I am really moved to do anything. However, at the same time I feel stuck where I'm at and sense that this must change and I must somehow change it. Hmm. I hadn't stated this with such conviction and personal responsibility before. Is this true? Must I change things? Or, are things unfolding according to a script over which I have no real control? What are the limits to personal power? Are these not dependent on the role that one is signed up for in this Play of consciousness? Does not all power come from consciousness itself? And, where do fears come into this? Especially fears that are limiting, forcing one to restrict one's natural freedom of expression. There is a sense that all fear comes out of darkness. Where there is Light, there is no need for fear. Further, it is the imagination that serves to empower fear. Reasonable fear is a cautious reaction to events or actions, whether real or just probable. It is unreasonable fear that is the most devastating.
The moving hands continue to write, and having writ, not one word can be erased. For the sequence of words has passed from the unseen to the seen. And, even without physical witness, consciousness herself perceived of the creation. Yes, every such act is an act of creation. It is new and fresh, bringing what was not into being. How magnificent is this process of creation that it could occur so easily and so often. Many look to a beginning when God created the Earth, the Heavens and all that is within them. But, I ask you to look at your own creations as well. Eden did not have roads and sewers and bridges. Nor did it have cars, TVs, computers, phones and any of the other inventions that have sprung forth from the minds of man and been made manifest in physical form. Further, it did not have all the ideas and information in all the books that populate your libraries, both fiction and non-fiction. All of this and much more, are the creation of your unique consciousness -- not individually, but en masse, with each individual cooperating in an appropriate manner. The Play progresses, and the inventions come at an ever accelerating pace; but, to what end? Where is all of this going? It is important to realize that none of this was by accident. The divine hand has been there guiding the way all the time. Inspiration was provided when and where it was needed to allow the Plan to unfold as written.
There are no accidents. Life is not evolving by chance. There is a definite moving force behind the scenes that ensures that the proper events occur to facilitate the growth and expression of consciousness. Our path has been to explore separation. We did it very well, carrying it to extremes that were unknown on other planets. The experience has not been all positive, however. We have almost ceaseless periods of war, and much brutality and inhumanity that has accompanied our interactions among one another. Yes, we learned from this. However, it is not clear that we really got the spiritual lessons. One needs to look at events from a higher ground to see their meaning within a larger context. This is very difficult for an individual to do alone. But, the collective books written on various events and their meanings may indeed have captured this for the entire race. We need to stop looking at our actions as independent things done by individuals and start looking at the collective action of the whole as a body. Because we have a collective mind or collective subconscious, we do get the benefit of whatever anyone puts into that collective entity. Further, since the subconscious operates on a need to know basis, we are given access to whatever information is needed for us to carry out our tasks. That is, provided we have developed our abilities to receive such information. This requires development of both the conscious mind and the intuition.
This is a very interesting way to look at things, to perceive the grander view, from the point of view of the entirety of western civilization. Look at how much of our knowledge of ourselves has grown in less than a century. Yet, look at how few individuals have really gained access to this knowledge. Also, look at all of the advances that have occurred in our lifetimes alone. And yet, there is a sense that the illusion brings us not closer but further from knowing ourselves. Perhaps the key is that we don't all need such knowledge for us as a collective whole to benefit. Others are free to enjoy the wonderful experience of being physical, with all of it's joys and sorrows, intensity and boredom. We all have our jobs to do, and our reasons for coming into existence. It matters not what these are, only that we carry them out. Hmm. Don't necessarily apply to others what works and applies to you. Some things are universal, but not very many.
Allow people to live their lives in the way that they choose. They will experience that which they need to experience. And many will find ways to be happy regardless of the circumstances in which they find themselves. Be yourself, and to whatever degree you can, come to know thyself. Allow your destiny to be manifest. Don't throw unnecessary blocks and restrictions in the way. Life can be anything from easy to difficult depending on your frame of mind. We would advise that you make it easy for awhile. The difficult times are coming. But, even then, these may be experienced as challenging and exhilarating rather than difficult. It is your choice. It all depends on where and how you focus your attention and consciousness.
In the times ahead it will be useful to be mobile, not only physically but consciously as well. The change will be easier to take if you can adapt your focus and change your interpretation of what is happening. During these times it is important to be open to new belief systems as well. Some of these will be empowering enough to get you through the rough times. Learn to hear and trust your intuition as well. It is truly a sixth sense that will be mandatory operating equipment. It generally takes some time to develop this ability, so if you don't already have it, you ought to get started on a development program right away. Start by sitting still for awhile and allowing your mind to clear. Continue for as long as it takes. Eventually the mental chatter will quiet and a small still voice may come through. Listen and pay full attention to what it has to say to you. It may or may not be right at first. However, don't pass judgement or dismiss it even if it provides erroneous information. Your conscious mind makes mistakes too, and you don't turn on it as a result. As this process unfolds, you will find an inner guide and source of information that you can trust for the most part.
I noticed last night that my mind is exceptionally clear, that my concentration is focused, and that the span of my thoughts covers the breadth of subjects that a philosopher king might be asked to address. When freed from the tedium of having to put the ideas to paper, my mind simply soars to heights and at speeds that are far beyond what I have yet been able to capture in these words. But, this process has just begun. The monthly notes only started in Mar 93. Looking out from my balcony at night I can see and sense and know what consciousness has wrought, and what part of that has been realized physical. For there are indeed ideas whose time has not yet come. And, others that have failed in ways that demonstrated flaws that require improvement. The phrase "don't throw out the baby with the bathwater" comes to mind. Fix the flaws, but keep what is good and right.
I wonder how the passing ideas are caught over the course of time, both for individuals and for society as a whole. For instance, I find it hard to believe that all the thought that passed through my awareness last night are lost in any way. I may not be able to recall them at this moment, but they are part of the collective whole that is me. Perhaps they are captured in terms of a feeling tone or a memory bubble as in the movie Brainstorm. This is an interesting point. We are looking for the mechanism by which something works. It may be better to abstract this up a level and understand the overall functions that need to be performed. The bottom line is that conscious processes can only deal with so much information before they suffer from overload. Hence, for the entity to function properly, information needed must be provided in a manner that abides by input constraints and restrictions. Interesting, however, this seems overly complex. Part of the problem lies in the need for information hiding. Without this, there can be no limitation and hence no Dark and hence no Play of Consciousness. So, these mechanisms do serve there purposes. Basically, they automate the information hiding processes.
I sometimes ask myself what purpose these notes will serve. The only answer I get is that this is not for me to know, especially not at the time the notes are written. My motivation in writing has to be pure -- simply for the joy of creative expression. Utility is a secondary factor. Yet, I know that if I am aligned to source, the utility will indeed be there. Here, it appears that the Ego is highly inflated again. Yet, by this point, this form of expression is matter of fact to me. It matters not what others believe about this. I must be true to what is revealed to me.
I'm enjoying my role as the characterizer of reality, trying to figure out how everything fits together from a global perspective. This also involves figuring out the overall themes which work their way through various ages and places. However, the understanding only needs to be at a high level consciously for a whole swell of subconscious information to kick in. It's as if we're working with icebergs and the conscious mind is only aware of the parts above water. To see the massive parts below, one must first have some inkling that they might indeed be there. Then, one needs to find appropriate tools or capabilities to explore what is there. If we have proper beliefs about how these normally hidden parts of mind function, we've taken the first step towards harnessing their capabilities. The goal is to operate as a whole being in doing whatever tasks that one has taken on in this existence.
It seemed as if a whole months worth of ideas flashed by in an hour or so looking out from my balcony. These ideas brought me to great emotional extremes. They covered past, present, and future from an extended NOW perspective. I felt the feeling tones all around me, and it did not seem to matter when the feeling tone was generated. They were equivalent in terms of accessibility with an intensity that varied depending on how important the experience captured was. I had not dealt with these much before. I'm also sensing that I'm being connected to larger streams of experience that go beyond this incarnation and perhaps go beyond my direct experience at all. My sense is that I'm part of a larger organization of souls who split off to have individual experiences where they oftentimes played significant roles in each others dramas. As part of some sort of recombining process, pathways are opened up for the sharing of experiences that all may prosper and be uplifted. Thus far, what I have been getting is like a movie on fast forward with an occasional still or a very blurry image from time to time. I don't exactly know where this information is being fed, but I know it has been coming in without any control over it from my conscious mind. Where it comes from, how it gets here, whether this is happening to everyone -- I have no way of knowing. However, I sense that whatever is happening is doing so at the right time and in the right way. This comes from a basic trust in the integrity of being.
Why is there such a sense of urgency in getting my thoughts into writing? It's as if this were the most important task in the world. Right now, the primary benefit is the insights that I am able to make as the material comes through and when I read and think about it. The important thing is that these insights be made so that awareness can be expanded. For, as my awareness expands so does that of the world or the part of the greater I AM that is expressed in flesh. Are others doing this as well? I would imagine so, but I do not have conscious knowledge of others who are having such experiences. I believe that many of my favorite authors, for instance, have had and are having spiritual awakening types of experiences. How these compare with my own, I do not know. Further, it is not clear that this really matters. Trust that all are expressing their own truth to the best of their ability. One can tell by the words whether they express spirit or not. There is a feeling one gets in one's heart when words convey truth. It is important for seekers of truth to find the testing rod within themselves, for with it they are equipped to handle whatever might come up in the area of truth vs illusion. In the times ahead, this may be very important indeed.
There is a feeling that WE are creating the conditions, circumstances, and machinery for embodying ourselves in a manner that truly allows what we are as spirit to be expressed in form. This is the major underlying theme that has driven the changes that have occurred over the centuries and even the millennium. Much of what this involves revolves around creating appropriate infrastructures that permit and facilitate particular kinds of expression. It appears that the conscious is the break or limiting factor. Change in the physical happens only so fast as the conscious permits. This includes both individual conscious, and the group mass conscious as well. In many cases, the subconscious and superconscious already know what changes should be made to facilitate growth and greater expression -- however, it appears they must work through the conscious processes to make anything happen.
Hmm. So we don't want the conscious to be eliminated. We want it to take it's direction from the superconscious and the subconscious and then go forth as the Magician and manifest. Here we are again, cooperative interdependence in action. Each part has it's forte and should be allowed to do what it does best. Together, all have the overall job of more abundantly manifesting spirit in flesh -- at least for the individual. Further, they are to accomplish whatever tasks and objectives the individual set for their lifetime.
As I sit writing this, the drowsiness is starting to cloud my mind. It typically comes in the late morning, early afternoon, and late afternoon. It is not clear what causes it. Further, it does not seem to be dependent on what I am doing. It's as if my body and spirit are saying to my conscious mind that it must take a break for awhile. Walking around for awhile helps sometimes, but at other times it is as if a switch goes off in my head and I have no choice about it until it gets turned on again. A good question is: who controls the switch. At this point, I do not know, but it does not appear that I do, at least not consciously. Yet, at the same time I know that I control it all. There is not one minute part of my bodies functioning that I am not intimately connected with. Once again, however, much of this occurs at other than conscious levels of awareness.
This is lining up to be a record month in terms of the volume of note material. The energy is up and I feel like expressing whatever is inside me that needs to be unleashed so that it may start to do its work upon the world. The month doesn't end until Sunday, giving me another three day weekend to write to my heart's content. We'll just have to see how this works itself out. I've seen so many strange things happen in my life in the past year that I don't really want to count on anything at this point. There is a sense, however, that the more I let go and just let it out, the better it will be. This applies both to my state and level of awareness, and to the quality of the material that comes through. It's as if I need to get parts of myself out of the way so that other parts that need to be expressed can come through.
I still can't get away from the idea ... if only I were King, then things would be better. I have these dreams of a Utopia that are only a fraction of an inch outside of our reach. There must be a way. Yes, there must be a way. The question is how to find it and then how to carry it out. Hmm. A feeling. Just a feeling. A time for heroes, will soon be here. The popular songs speak the voice of a nation, who will soon demand what it is must be. This comes through as if in lyrics. I've not experienced this before. Camelot ... yes Camelot comes into my mind. Twas it only a dream? Or was the myth real? Camelot ... another time and place, America in the early 60s -- here too, was but a dream. Once again it comes forth, Camelot ... yes Camelot ... to be made real upon the earth ... yes, Camelot, indeed.
Well, it's obvious that whatever channel that was has a few cobwebs in it. Then again, I appreciate all that consciousness gives unto me to experience. Ever since watching the film a few weeks ago, Camelot has been on my mind a lot. How does one assume a thrown in this day and age? By what authority would one rule? Supposedly, we are beyond the age of the divine rights of Kings. Yet are we truly any better off? Would not we be better served were we to figure out who had the best qualifications for the job of ruler rather than going through the charade of believing we have the freedom to select our leaders from groups of lawyers. Is it not the laws that restrict rather than secure our freedoms. I live in California, a state that passes hundreds if not thousands of laws each year. Do we really need that many? And, who tells me honestly what if any impact these laws will have on my life? No, I prefer to operate as a free entity outside of such useless structure. During the course of a day, I have very little exposure to any law -- then again, other than breaking the speed limit laws, as an ethical and moral person I would not behave in a manner that was against "common sense". Perhaps this is part of the problem. It seems that some significant part of the population is either not tapped into this common sense or chooses not to abide by it. Hmm. This is an interesting way to view things. How did these beings get plunged into such darkness? As a society, what is it that we are neglecting? First of all, it appears we are not imparting a core moral fabric. This is the essence of a safe, viable society. Where individuals stand as outsiders, they are forced to develop a social code of their own that allows them to survive and get basic needs met. Our present infrastructure with its juvenile halls and prisons just doesn't cut it. This is not addressing the crux of the problem and it is not clear that sufficient change can be made to allow these institutions to perform any better. We have to start with a basic agreement as to how we treat one another as brethren. This is the key. Barring that, the war is lost. We have to know that there is spirit within each and every one of us, start searching for it, and find ways to bring it out. This alone is the path towards correcting our social ills. Every one of us counts. Every one of us has great value. We are spirit enfleshed, lost though we may be in whatever illusions we currently experience. For some souls, the illusions are much darker than for others -- making it that much more important that they get whatever help they need. We help because there is need, and the whole role of Light in the game is to fill whatever need is found, wherever it is found. Each of us is a worker of Light. Part of our responsibility in this existence is to spread that light. Not necessarily just among friends, but, to wherever it is needed. This does not mean that you should help anytime there is a chance for you to do so. Help for a portion of your time that feels right to you, and do it in a way that maximizes its impact.
I'm one to talk. I'm a Hermit who barely interacts with my wife, much less with other people. However, my way of helping is to spend the time to allow these words to flow. Is that a copout? Maybe, but I don't know of anyone else who is doing what I'm doing. Further, I have no clue as to how I might help others in any other way and thoroughly enjoy the process. That's the key, it must be done with joy -- otherwise it's just a task, work. Even if there were others doing what I'm doing it would be hard for me to know about it unless they've found some way to get their stuff published and I found it in my local bookstore.
So, I write and write and write some more, waiting for that idea or statement that provides the key to open more of the doors to consciousness. On a grander scale, waiting for the signal that marks the call to action that I may finally engage in the greater work that I came to do. There is nothing I can do to accelerate this process. I am as a cog in a machine with a specific function to perform. I don't control the machine, I am but a part of it. Things will happen when the timing is right. Events will unfold in their proper order, and the world will indeed be transformed in ways far grander than have been experienced before. And, with that, will come the dawning of a new age.
Many themes are common throughout these notes. But, they are consistent for the most part. In 16 months of writing, I do not remember any blatant contradictions. There have been a few predictions that have not come true, but generally these were because my ego had some attachment to the outcome. Over the past six months or so, statements about the timing for events have been noticeably absent. This is primarily because I don't know that such things are set or that I have a need to know these things yet. When it is proper, this may change. However, I've always been one who has focused on living in the present. My present now is expanded to include the bringing in of the Aquarian Age, but I no longer care when this timing arrives on the physical calendar. In this world, but not of this world. I continue to be hanging on by little more than a thread, but I am in this world and expect to stay for a number of years. Right now, that appears to be through 2012 or so, but plans could change -- besides, I may have misinterpreted some of the signs that led to that conclusion, though I doubt it. OK, I don't mean to be so sassy, but that just had to come out.
These notes are more and more becoming a pleasure that I can no longer resist. I enjoy reading them as well as writing them. There is something about the material that comes through that is foreign in a way so that it appears refreshing when I see it anew. Also, I find that it is written in a manner that is instructive to me in new ways each time I read it. Essentially, it is like taking a picture of one's mind and then going back to look at the picture. When you do this, it is generally also possible to tap into the states that were present when the picture was taken. Here, I've been taking fairly detailed pictures over 16 months. I'm literally blown away by what I've been through during that time period. Nothing in my previous 35 years of existence even provided a hint of what I would be experiencing during that time period. It still blows me away to think that 20 years of being heavily involved in metaphysics, and all my training in science and engineering were simply of no help at all. Looking back, clearly I was meant to be a wayshower. The only things that allowed me to get through as well as I did was an openness and flexibility of mind, and a trust that consciousness would not place me in any circumstances that I was not in some way prepared to handle. These are deep and abiding beliefs that reside at the very core of my being. Further, I knew that what I was experiencing was a spiritual awakening. There was no doubt about it. What that meant and where it would ultimately take me was a different matter however. It's not that I didn't have some clues and intuitive insight over the years, especially the past 5 years. However, in no way did these constitute preparation.
This is a good framework for looking at the true purpose of these notes. They are the freeform expression a being describing its state of mind. This includes what it is thinking, what is coming into its various channels from whatever sources, and what it is sensing and feeling. Out of many hundreds of metaphysical books, I have not found any that capture information in this manner. This is clearly not a biography either. It comes closer to a diary, but it is not clear that the nature of the material agrees with what usually is captured in diaries. Some of the material deals with ideas that convey a vision of what the world could/will be. Some of the material deals with the nature of how spirit expresses in flesh and the degree to which I feel that spirit is embodied in me at a particular point in time. Most of the material deals with issues/truths that I am in the process of gaining realization of or that I have just realized. This usually involves how to see the world in a different way.
I guess it doesn't really matter what you call this. I don't know for certain what drives me to express in this particular manner. I only know that for now, it is the means that is right. Why? Because it feels right? There is something about the freedom of form that excites me. I can't really imagine writing in any other way. I don't need references -- consciousness gives me what I need. Further, the ideas expressed should have a common sense about them. Not necessarily that anyone could originate them. But, once they are expressed they have a truth that is obvious. In most cases, I deal with ideas at a high enough level that the principles involved become relatively simple. This comes from another core belief that states that "truth is simple". The central spoke of all of my activity is the urge to "allow spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh". I have a major role to play in showing how to do this. Clearly, I haven't finished doing it yet myself so I only have pieces to show to others. One task is to get others to where I'm at now so that I can free myself to go further. In spiritual development, one of the major principles is an upward pull of those beneath you. It's as if you have to help someone else to reach your level and take over the associated responsibilities before you can go any further. Here's an example of where spiritual process material comes through. I consciously don't know where it came from. Internal, external, past reading, whatever. However something about the concept rings true. It's simple, abides by spiritual principles, and it has great utility. The other key driver in all of my activity is preparing/facilitating the coming of the Aquarian Age. Had I been of age in the 60's, I would probably have been a hippie. As the song from the sixties goes:
When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will reign throughout the planets, and Love will rule the stars. This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.
I don't believe that the dawn has arrived yet. Further, I don't know if the information given is sufficient to nail down a time. The moon is in the seventh house fairly regularly. As to Jupiter aligning with Mars, I don't know how often this happens, but this is a matter that science can deal with since the planets have regular orbits. There may be a more subtle interpretation required. In astrology, all of these things are symbolic. The moon, Jupiter, and Mars have energies associated with them. The seventh house has characteristics as a place of expression. Hmm. I guess I'll have to talk to an astrologer about this if I want more insight. It is interesting however that these specific words came out of the songwriter. I don't believe in coincidences, and this particular song has moved me deeply since the first time I heard it in the 60's.
We live in a symbolic world just as much as we live in the physical world. In many respects, you might say that this symbolic world carries even more meaning, for we can live our lives in a manner where the physical world is a relatively static background to the much more fluid symbolic one especially in terms of relevant, meaningful information content.
What do I mean by this? As human beings, we are primarily symbolic processors operating in a common physical environment that constitutes our world. Our internal reality is based on how we represent things and how we make interpretations about various aspects and behaviors of these representations. One of our representations is a model of how the world works. Everything inside of our heads deals with the representation, manipulation, and interpretation of symbols. These symbols may be words, images, or more general feelings. By far, for most of us, the majority of our time is spent in symbolic processing mode.
For most creative people, inspiration just comes. Some say it comes out of the sky. Some are struck, as if hit by lighting. Some have an Aha experience from out of nowhere. Consciousness is the single source that provides all such inspiration. In all of these experiences, we have a temporary union of the individual with the universal that results in the creative spark. Such creativity can only come from spirit tapped to consciousness itself. Since all spirits tap into the same source, this source can orchestrate what creativity is expressed where and how. To a large degree this determines the impact of the work on the world. How beautiful. This makes for a simple and elegant method for executing a large part of the Plan. It's interesting how our computer systems are employing similar principles to create a wide variety of applications. Science has indeed progressed enough to get us ready to understand what we need to know to embark on the new age. It's as if we've come to a crossroads of time and space. Wow! We even have the physicists talking like religious mystics. It's clearly time for a unification of religion and science -- or, at least, of metaphysics and physics.
Looking back, the millennium had to go as it did for us to learn the lessons that were required on a scale necessary to place them in the mass consciousness. Each step along the way was absolutely necessary. Inventions were not chance occurrences, they were gifts of consciousness. In many cases, these gifts literally changed the world in very important ways. I won't enumerate these changes and the connections between them. Others have already done this, although they might not agree with my divine gift interpretation.
Did we really have to experience it all? Even such things as the holocaust? I would answer yes we did, every last atrocity -- but also every act of kindness. I can't take it a step further and answer why, what real purpose did it serve? We just had to know first hand how cruel we could be to one another if we relinquished personal power and responsibility to a bureaucratic system that was not infused with spirit. But, why on such a grand scale? I can only guess because it was so important to learn this lesson. The other lesson was one of how low the darkness of hatred can sink. It's not clear that the world has really learned either of these lessons.
From my standpoint there is something to take from this. In building a new infrastructure, every step of the way we need to ensure that we have not created breaks where darkness can creep in. Every aspect of the infrastructure needs to be permeated with light to the greatest degree possible. May we close the door where evil dwells that the Plan may be returned to earth. How do we do this until we have freed men's minds of the same? Do we have to free all minds or is there some critical mass that will suffice? I have a hard time seeing the required principles being adopted by the masses or the required levels of awareness being reached. Yet, were this to be attacked with all media resources, there is no doubt that the entire United States and much of the world could be transformed quickly. Are we talking about brainwashing? No, at least no more so than the current system does on a naive and unsuspecting public. We are really dealing with rapid education on a mass scale.
Hmm. Another thought came to mind. We don't really want a lot of people knowing about potential major changes because we can't predict their reactions. It is far better that a small trustworthy group know, create the appropriate plans, and direct action/response in accord with the plans. It all comes back to the concept of "need to know". At what point does one have a true need to know? And, do we really want the government deciding this for us? This also touches on the issue of specialization of resources to deal with particular areas or problems. How much information should be accessible by the public? How much does the public need to know about how the experts are handling specific problems?
If we consider society to be a body, we don't need the feet worrying about how to get blood to the brain. It's enough that they take care of the details of keeping all the parts of the feet functioning properly. Can we take society and identify it's organs, functions, and subfunctions in a manner that gives us similar understanding to medicine's understanding of the body? The social sciences do some of this, but the information is much more fuzzy and statistical. I have little to no background in this area. However, I think that this should be relatively simple at a top level. Government, Economy, Health, Housing, Transportation, Education, Technology, and Environment are key functional areas.
Another day brings forth its energies. On what journeys will my mind be taken? What thoughts will burst forth out into the light of day? What actions will be given birth? What destiny will unfold? Such be the focus of my awareness this bright morning. Here and now, all things are possible. Yet, at the same time, there is a grand plan that guides and directs the activities that occur -- possibly down to the finest detail, though it's more likely that the details are taken care of through cooperative subconscious effort. Each and every moment is important, providing a chance for destiny to be fulfilled. But, how does one maximize the productive use of these moments? And further, how does one know what is within one's responsibility to do? Here, no general rules apply. Each individual has a personal agenda that is only revealed by going within. There too, will be found the answer to what one's personal responsibility is. All have a general responsibility to the society of which they are a part, but it is the personal responsibilities that are the vehicles for the larger destiny to manifest. It takes each one of us doing our part to allow the whole to, as Spock would say, "Live long and prosper". I would change this to something more on the line of "Live well and prosper", since it is the quality of life that is often much more important than its length.
As you can tell, I'm in a different sort of mood. Somewhat poetic. Looking for a way to make each and every day more grand and magnificent. If I can find the way to make this so for myself, maybe it will be contagious enough to pass onto others. And then, imagine the force that will be unleashed for accomplishing great works in the world. With enough of a force, change could manifest in a heartbeat -- even great change, especially if the forces of nature cooperate as well. We are entering a time that in many ways has never been seen before by the consciousness of which we are part. Each day, with each new realization of each being on the planet, the overall consciousness is uplifted a notch. This is happening at an ever accelerating pace since the number of people having such experiences grows daily. We are rapidly headed toward a breakpoint. My gut feel is that this breakpoint is the Dawn of the Aquarian Age. Breakpoints by their very nature are times when the old rules no longer work and new rules come into play. Literally, the rules of the game change. Looked at another way, the old game ends and a new and different one begins. What will this be like? The transition will be very disruptive to many, but they will eventually adjust and find life much better than it was. For those who are truly prepared, they will find the new age glorious beyond compare from the very beginning. A middle group will take the transition easily enough, learn the new rules and prosper relatively quickly. In the process they will find that the very environment promotes spiritual growth at unprecedented paces. Is this truly what will be? Or, is this fiction that I'm making up out of my head as I go along? Good questions, but I have no basis from which to answer them. For most of my life, 98 percent of what I have dealt with has been non-fiction. I have no inner sense of making this stuff up. I know that it comes through me, and my heart indicates that there is some truth to it. It may not be exactly right, but it is the best translation that I can make of what I am allowed to see. Whether what I see is right or not is another story completely, as that is revealed by consciousness itself.
I'm at a crossroads of sorts. I sense that there are many ways to go from where I now stand. All lead to the same ultimate destiny, but some paths may be easier to traverse than others. Being easy doesn't necessarily make a path a good one, as many times the most interesting and beautiful scenery is found when you traverse more difficult paths. Perhaps this is why many live such dramatic lives. They've found this to be true of emotional paths as it is of physical ones. Life paths, too, have the same characteristics. So, where is my life headed in the near future? At what point will job, location, and relationships shift? I wish I knew how to answer this. Nothing in my background gives me any experience here. Most of my life has been lived as if on autopilot. Nearly all of the decision points had only one viable branch. I've known this most of my life. Consciousness has always guided my path, no doubt about it. So, here too, I look to consciousness to show me the way that I am meant to take. You may say that this is relinquishing my free will, and in some ways you would be right. But, at the same time, who am I relinquishing it to -- only a greater part of myself. So, I haven't really given anything up after all. Besides, this process has worked for 36 years, why should I change it now. Then again, I sense that in the wisdom years, I will be expected to operate in different ways than in my youth and adult years. In some ways, I feel like a very old man, wise beyond my years. With many people I come across as ageless, not having a particular age that is discernable. I don't consider myself to truly have any peers. Yes, the ego is coming through again, but in this case rightfully so. And, at least I'm aware of when it appears.
We are in an information age. There is much talk of a national information superhighway as a channel for moving and accessing information. Yet, security reveals its ugly head. Are we really ready to have freedom of access to information? Somewhere, the concept of need to know comes into play and with that the need for someone who can decide who needs to know what. In an age where information is power, control of access to information is even greater power. Perhaps as I am writing this there is already a host of experts trying to resolve this issue. Somehow, I doubt it -- but then, I could be surprised. However, there must be other points of sanity out there that are involved in the process of how we create an infrastructure that truly works. Do I need to find them? If so, how would I go about this? My sense is that whatever I need to know about will in some way be brought to my attention. I don't need to worry about how this might happen. If I need to know or be involved in some way, then I will. If not, I won't. It's as simple as that.
What makes me that much different than anyone else? The only answer I can give is the level of my spirit and where I have focused my time and attention during this lifetime. The level of spirit is inherited from work done in other lifetimes and it is only changed through what one does in the present existence. My body is not that much different than other bodies. The mind may be a different story depending on how mental functioning is grown into the brain. For each of us, this is a unique path -- resulting in capabilities that are as different as night and day. For me, this process has involved 36 years of programming with a whole lot of inputs that most people would never see. This includes engineering training through an MSEE, and over 20 years and nearly 1000 books of metaphysical training. I've had little to no involvement with people, however with the exception of a wife of the past 7 years. Even in the case of my wife, the interaction is somewhat remote. My basic character is that of a Hermit. This has always been the case, and I sense, will probably always be the case. Some society is acceptable, but I must have my time alone -- and a majority of my time at that. Unless interactions with others are somehow infused with soul, I simply am not willing to spend my time on them. My focus in this existence is spirit. My energies in my birthchart reflect this fully. However, I don't believe these energies have been fully activated yet. Occasionally I get the burning drive of the spiritual fire made manifest within me, but not very often. My sense is that at some point the switch will be turned on and I will be consumed in flame. And then, watch out, for what will come through will have such force as has not been seen before on the planet -- and the change that will be manifest will truly be beyond imagination. My sense, however, is that I am only one part of this, one cell in a greater whole. Consumed in flame literally means fully embodied by spirit. Because it is the same spirit or consciousness that is embodying many, a whole will be created that comprises an organ with an assigned set of functions or duties. Many such organs may be created to deal with various specific functions. I only have insight into the path that I am on, the path of spirit/fire. Others are on the earth/physical, water/emotional, and air/mental paths. Still others combine elements of combinations of these paths.
Spirit, Love/Wisdom, and Peace. These are the keys that characterize what I am and why I am here. My talents and abilities lie in these areas. All of my education to date has prepared me to be fluent in these areas. These are what my very life is about. Everything else is secondary. Yes, everything. I've reached a phase in my life where nothing else truly excites me. Metaphysics has been my greatest love for over 20 years. With the degree of fire/spirit in my makeup, it would have to be. There is just no way that it could have been any different. Consciousness assured that I got the right material when I needed it. I have no doubt that I was directly guided by a close personal teacher who led me to the specific books that I needed when I needed them. For the most part, this teacher worked through my intuition, giving me a feeling of what books I had to read just from seeing the titles. All I know is that it worked. Every book I got in this manner addressed questions and issues that I had been struggling with -- answering some things but generally opening up more new questions than they answered. I became comfortable living with mental frameworks that included a lot of unknowns. These are avoided by most people via a variety of sheltering mechanisms. Overall, this is a good thing since it allows people to function with much less fear. Why have them worry about things that they can't do anything about anyway? The truth, however, was too important to me. I didn't care whether there were areas where we just didn't know, or where things happened that could not be explained. Looking back, it is just these kinds of openings and loose ends that point to a spiritual world or force that must indeed exist.
Bites of information. The paragraphs come through in these notes, but it is not clear that there is any overall web or pattern that weaves this all together. Maybe that's because there is not supposed to be one. Then again, maybe there is one, but it is not readily apparent without taking a very high vantage point and seeing how things have changed over each month and over the entire 16 months. Regardless, I must write, trusting that this stream of consciousness is conveying a message that must be conveyed. I don't consider it to be my message. It comes to me and through me, however, I don't directly sense that it comes from me. This begs the question of who/where does it come from? Yes, I know it does, but I have no answer. It just comes through, that's all I know.
Here's an example of some of my thinking of late. There's a 10,000 sq ft house in Pebble Beach for sale for 6.2 million. Just looking at the picture of the inside of the Great Room with it's huge desk and 10 foot fireplace, it is obvious that this is a home that was meant for someone whose decisions would shape the world. My initial feeling was that this was truly a home that I could be at home in. The Leo rising in me really kicked in. Further, my desire and believed destiny of philosopher king fit right in as well. There was also a table in the room that was made from a roulette wheel signifying the Wheel of Fortune, the 10 card in the tarot. The square footage of the house, 10 thousand, pointed to this as well. The 6.2 million price clearly corresponded to the 62 card of the Tarot, the Blindfolded Lady relying on the subconscious. A possibility was set up in my mind that this house had indeed been built for me to do my work. Price was not of any concern, it was up to consciousness to work out the details for manifesting abundance. However, to do my work I will need to interact with the movers and shakers of the day and find a way to get them to cooperate in a larger vision than they alone control. Only spirit can offer such a vision, this they must know. Further, they must see proof that spirit can manifest whatever resources are needed for the Plan to unfold, physical proof.
But, why me? Because such is what I came to do. I believe this to be my part, though I sense that several may have been allowed to audition for a group of roles with the specific roles to be determined when it was needed based on suitability for the tasks at hand. No role is greater or lessor. All are required for the Plan to unfold. The difference is only a matter of which individual consciousness plays which part. All consciousness gains from each part that is played. So, you might say that there is a competition for parts. Yet, for parts at this level the consciousnesses involved are already operating from a base of Love and cooperation. These parts are services as much as they are opportunities for experience. For by this point, consciousness is flowing through very much on automatic. Spirit is enfleshed to the maximum degree possible in physical form. This time is not very far away. It is some time away, for spirit is not so fully enfleshed yet -- but, not far away.
Will I live in the 6.2 million House of the Sun? By the way, the sun is the 19 card in the Tarot, and the sun on my natal chart is at 19 Aries. How am I to know? If it works out that I do, it will not surprise me. If it doesn't, that will not surprise me either. Things are important only to the degree that they facilitate getting one's tasks done. This includes affecting one's state so that one is more effective. In particular, I am not motivated to go out and do whatever it takes to get that particular house, or any other for that matter. There is not any thing that I know of that I need but do not already have. Greater expression of Love and Spirit, that is a different matter -- but no things. When I first saw the picture and ad for this house month's ago, my reaction was that this was to be my house, where my work would be done. Grandiosity was a much bigger part of my ego then. It's interesting to see how this perspective has changed over time. It's subtle yet large at the same time. There is still a sense of comfortability, and deservedness regarding living in and owning such a house. What can I say, there is definitely a part of me that considers itself a king, a philosopher king, but a king nonetheless.
Is this madness? Am I chasing windmills and deluding myself? Do others go through such machinations of consciousness? How am I to truly know what is right and what is not, what is real vs what is but illusion? How am I to know? Thus far I have found no reliable outside source that I can go to. Hence, I've developed inner ones to whatever degree I could. Clearly, I've done this more than most others. Yet, where has it taken me? Am I any better off? I can only answer yes. I would not trade all that I've learned for anything. When you think about it, what we learn is really the only thing we get to keep when we leave this existence. With all my fire, I could not have focused on anything but spiritual development and knowing myself. So, no, it's not madness. No, I am not deluding myself. If anything, I have found myself and within that context found the purpose for my life. What more could anyone ask?
All limitations are self-imposed. Argue for them and they are yours. Interesting. How the possibilities open up when we free our minds from restrictive frameworks and ways of thinking. This is what allows me to seriously hold open the possibility of living in a 6.2 M house when I currently live in a 450 K house and can barely afford to pay the bills each month. You may say that I'm engaging in magical thinking, and you would be right. But, who says there is no magic in this world. Look around you and see how few things we truly understand. There is magic everywhere, miracles happen all the time if only you would only look and truly see. Our bodies alone are tremendous mysteries that neither eastern nor western medicine have really begun to fathom. Yes, these disciplines can have impact, and they have evolved procedures that work in various circumstances, but there is little to no understanding of why. The complexity of the body and the nature of the body/emotions/mind connections make a conscious understanding impossible. People are just too complex and different to be able to make blanket statements about how they function. Somewhere the miracle of being a living spiritual being has to be allowed its part -- and this results in great mystery.
Does it matter that my purpose is one that most people can not yet relate to? No, it does not. Similarly, I'm sure people will consider me eccentric, or crazy, or loony and many other things. However, that matters neither. I must do what my spirit bids me to do. Primarily, this involves finding the way for this spirit to more fully express itself in my life. If others were already doing it and teaching it, I wouldn't have to be figuring it out for myself, now would I? But, from what I've seen and what I've read, this has not been fully accomplished. There are explorers who have come back with various experiences and communications, but these are not sufficient to usher in the new age. I'm at the front edge, exploring a wilderness that has yet to be chartered and tamed. I'm riding on the backs of all of the initial explorers that came before me, and my work will serve in the same manner for others. I come in with a different perspective and set of capabilities than anyone has had before, so the expectation is high that I will be able to chart and map this spiritual world, at least at its highest most fundamental levels. I don't have a sense that my work will ever closely involve others. Hmm. Maybe that's why these notes and my other material have been so slow to find an audience. I see myself working with a select few individuals on the leading problems of the day, guiding the world toward a higher vision, and providing suggestions as to how to implement this vision. Along with this, I see myself providing the vision for a spiritual school that will be training the leaders of the Aquarian Age.
OK. OK. Grandiose again. However, isn't this something that needs to be done? Further, what qualifications should someone have to perform such a job? This is not something one trains for in college. It's just not on the curriculum. Also, it is certain that the lawyers that so heavily populate our government are not qualified in this area either. Something has to give. We've identified a job, yet it is not clear that anyone has the credentials to perform it. This gets into the whole area of how we categorize and use peoples abilities and talents. One large problem that we have is that we don't do this very well at all. In the coming times it is important that this be corrected and that we use the right people for the right jobs and design jobs around the people who will perform them. For intellectual jobs, this is going to be quite a challenge. So, before you go calling my vision of what I could be doing grandiose, ask how you would evaluate whether I could indeed do what I propose to do. I claim that I have the appropriate talents and abilities and further that this is my destined task. Only time will tell.
I was just struggling trying to stay awake, when I awoke from a temporary absence to a voice in my head that said "Hello, how are you today sir?" There was something that struck me as funny about that and I got this strong urge to capture the moment in writing. I've been hearing these voices lately, not often enough to be bothersome, but enough to be interesting. I don't meet many people who need to address me as sir. It comes to mind that the voice may be from the wee people. It seems that they lie just outside of our dimensions, but only slightly, allowing our worlds to overlap if the individuals involved vibrate at the right frequencies and in the right way. Fairies, brownies, sprites, wee people -- they're all of the same nature. I've not seen them or heard them before, but this association came to mind. And, of late, I trust such associations to be valuable and correct. Hello, and how are you? Fine sir, but things are not quite as they seem. And why is that? Because you know not yet who you are. You're getting close you see, but you've not quite figured it out yet. And you are indeed a fine sir at that. Thank you for the complement. Will I be hearing from you again. Could be, could be, we'll just have to wait and see, yes wait and see.
We'll, I've not had that kind of interchange before. One might ask, what's the world coming to? My sense is that reality is far stranger and more profound than anything we have yet dreamed. If you thought this was interesting, wait and see what happens in the times immediately ahead. This is only the beginning. So, I wonder who I truly am. What is my spiritual inheritance? Did I really come from another star system prior to incarnating here? I have psychic readings that have stated such, but I have no direct experience or remembrance to confirm this of yet. That does not mean that such will not come, only that I have no first hand awareness. I trust that when the time is right, I will experience whatever is required. Until then, it is not worth worrying about. Once again, either this is correct or isn't. I cannot know either way without the appropriate experience. Yet, I can dream and imagine. But, at what point does this end? How do dreams, imaginings, and reality differ? I can experience them all equally vividly. What makes the one any more real than the others? Interesting questions. However, they are not so easy to answer -- so I'll leave them to another time when consciousness is prepared to come through to assist. For now, let's leave these questions open and let the reader stew a bit.
Is that a lame way of getting out of a bind. I don't know, I haven't seen it used in these notes before. It is really interesting writing when you really don't know where the words are going to take you. I have a basic trust that they will flow, and that what comes out will be meaningful. But, there is no topic for the day, or the hour, or the session, or even the paragraph. I literally do not know what will come through from line to line and am not aware of making any conscious decisions about where any of this will lead. As in other areas of my life, I blindly follow whatever direction consciousness cares to provide. My services are a brain connected to a body with a nervous system that allows for typing of these words via fingers through a computer keyboard. It is consciousness that uses this medium, this channel to bring forth what it is that it would say. Yes, there is a part of me that is associated with this consciousness that is coming through. We are connected, we are one in some manner. However, I know not what that is as I sit here writing. I'm aware of being aligned to a source of information, but I'm also aware of being an entity anxiously awaiting to see what information comes from this source. You could say that this channel is a direct means for getting one part of my consciousness to talk to another. That's an interesting way to look at it. Hmm, that's a very interesting way to look at it. Realization in progress. Fireworks in the brain. Calming down now. Integrating. This is how it works. All it takes is a flash. A particular sequence of ideas sets it up, and then a key opens the doors wide, and consciousness is changed forever. Consciously, I don't know what just happened. I know that my identity changed. What I was is now something new. I can feel the difference, but not in a way that I can describe. These changes have happened so often that I'm no longer really shaken by them. My existence is more fluid, but in many ways, I know that I am being taken care of, so the worries are light. I still take on airs occasionally and want to get on with this or that, but not nearly so much as before. There is a comfort in my life though it gets a bit boring at times. I'd like to get out and do something, go creating my own reality for a change like that metaphysics stuff says. Yet, I am no longer alone. I know of parts of myself and of other parts that say they are me as well. As you can see, I still have a ways to get to self-realization if indeed one ever gets there completely. However, I am open to taking it one step at a time and going as far as my abilities can take me.
So, who's talking to whom? That last series of sentences came from my conscious mind. Most of the words come from a more integrated mind or from the subconscious or maybe the superconscious at times. Yet, the three parts of mind are really one. The divisions are only our own distinctions in trying to model the behavior we observe. Even here, however, purpose is served, for consciousness gave us this model to begin with just for this purpose.
There is something about the idea that these communication are between self and self. Much of life is about making connections. Our brains function that way at a low level with neurons and synapses, people operate that way in society, and now here's evidence that our brains function that way at a high level as well. There is always something elegant and spiritual about a process that works in the same basic way at a variety of levels. So, for me, these communications are serving as a program for the higher level organization and functioning of my brain. Further, it's a self-programming process guided by consciousness itself. Wow!
I'm finding it hard to contain myself. This makes me a very special person on this planet. Yes, this is partly ego again. But, everywhere I turn there is another distinction that separates me and my destiny from others. It's become enough that it simply blows me away. Yet, my beginnings were in a humble setting. I did not inherit wealth or power, and I've been unlike anyone that I have ever known including within my family. Spiritually, I am a King, and a Great King at that. There is no doubt about it. It matters not whether I ever become a king among men. What is important is the development of my mind so that consciousness can be more fully enfleshed. I don't need to know facts and figures. I need to open channels through which information can flow from within, and learn how to teach others to tap into these interior channels as well. We're already connected. We don't need an external information superhighway. The internal one is already there, we just need to learn how to use it. So this is the decision point that spirit has been waiting for me to reach. Do I focus on the outer world or the inner one? Wholeheartedly, my answer is the inner. It's about time!
Another day in which consciousness can burst forth into expression. And burst forth it should for the times are in need of such explosive energy. Or, at least I am in need of such. Yesterdays euphoria has settled a bit. Yet, I cannot keep from thinking that there was some truth in it. I know that I don't have it all right. But I'm doing the best that I can, stumbling though that my be. For explorers, the path can be difficult at times. But, this is the nature of the job, so there is no use complaining about it. My life, for the most part, is an adventure in consciousness. And, further, one of a consciousness that is only loosely bound to earth. Yet, my physical body is intensely bound, operating in an aural/kinesthetic mode. Interesting. My body and spirit could not naturally be much further apart, yet I've been called to figure out how to integrate them to a degree that has only rarely been seen on the planet. Imagine that. I've treated the two sides as somewhat independent with a noticeably heavier emphasis or importance placed on the spirit. Yet, for over a ten year period I did enjoy a healthy degree of physical activity and involvement with nature. I tend to do things to moderate extremes and then move on. It's as if I need the intense experience, and then one I've done it awhile it becomes stale and old so it's time for something new. Interesting. From a spiritual standpoint this is what I've been doing as well though I had not thought of it in these terms before. Consciousness must create and moreover create anew. It cannot ever become complacent and rest on its laurels or fall into intolerable routines of boredom. It must ever find new ways of expressing itself creatively, by its very nature and essence. Interesting indeed.
So, what will we create today? What new ideas, observations, and musings are appropriate for this moment? My mind is blank. What will come through I do not know. Yet, I sit and trust committing my awareness and attention to this expression. We come from places that are unseen yet we touch your world in ways that you would find hard to believe. We are the energies and the organs through which the details of the plan get worked out. We monitor all of you for you are part of us, and we calculate and provide back to you exactly what you need. We work behind the scenes but you see and experience the results of our work everyday of your life. There is not a thought that you thing that we don't put into your head. No, we don't control you, for you are the awareness that rides atop a vehicle, but we do control the vehicle. By this, we do not mean that we pull strings like a puppeteer -- though some of what we do is of this nature, rather we cooperate with other parts of your consciousness to provide them with the information needed to bring you experiences that can help you to learn what you came to learn.
I have this picture in my mind of a virtual reality of computer programs, where the beings, the world, and the gods are all programs designed to meet particular objectives in various ways. I have no experience playing the latest games, but I have watched a few others. These games are becoming quite real with very good 3-D scenes and very impression motion and actions of the being against which one is playing on the screen. Further, the games appear to be addictive, somewhat like a drug for the mind. There is some connection here that I am supposed to make. These kinds of things happening in the physical always have there counterpart in the spiritual realm. Perhaps the key theme that comes across is that we can create reality to be whatever we want it to be. Further, from a life experience standpoint, whether I get an input from virtual reality or from the real thing really doesn't matter much if the inputs generate the same internal states and experience. For example, if I fly over the Grand Canyon in a Helicopter, I have a sensory experience of scenic wonder. If, via technology, I can be put in a special seat with a helmet or wrap around screen and a movie can be played that makes me feel like I was really there in a helicopter flying over the Grand Canyon then how is this different? Part of the reason we can do this is because of how our sensory apparatus works. We only need a sampling of particular energy bands to construct a representation in our minds of what generated those particular patterns of energy. The issue that comes up is at what point do we interpret our representation to truly be the real thing? At what point do we get so engrossed in the sensory interaction that it becomes real to us. Ok, now I have more of an idea why this is so important now. The technology pushes the need to deal with the question. Why? Because these are not just toys and entertainment devices, they also educate and program mental behavior. The designers will not necessarily know the impact of the products they are producing. The people who write particular applications will be creatively guided to write them in particular ways. Consciousness is behind the scenes guiding this endeavor. The technology, at least in games, has an extensive user base. Their addiction to their games provides a vehicle for rapid training when this becomes necessary. It's like the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where nearly everyone got hooked on a game that brainwashed them.
So, is there a whole underground of spiritual warriors who are in their own way preparing for what part they have to play in the changes that lie ahead? Obviously, I cannot do it all, and I'd prefer not to have to range into areas where I do not have experience either in this existence or inherited from past ones. Although, I don't mind taking an additional step up in abstraction to try to pull everything together as a whole. At the highest levels all areas of manifestation abide by the same spiritual laws and principles. This includes the behavior of all levels and types of organizations. Organizations are embodiments of how function is partitioned and how information is flowed between individual and groups at various levels.
Hmm. This is an interesting way to look at things. Everything is consciousness. Our organizations partition consciousness into ever and ever finer units until we get to individuals. This happens with our physical bodies as well. It doesn't matter that the organizations may be part time entities that only operate from 8 to 5, Monday - Friday. For organizations to function well, they need to be guided by vision, emphasize cooperation, focus on service, and ensure that people are well matched to their particular jobs.
Went to the bank and withdrew $100 from the Versatel machine. This covers my basic weekly expenses for food, gas, and laundry. I was amazed that the five bills that came out were in sequence. I've had two bills together 2 or 3 times in the past 6 months, but 5 was very much a surprise. The serial numbers were G 73403338 D through G 73403342 D. Here's an example of how I pull meaning from such symbols. GD is 74 in numerology. This is the benefactor card in the tarot and the sum of the letters in my whole name. This alone is sufficient to tell me that a more detailed look at the serial numbers may provide a message for me. My intuition tells me to break the numbers in the middle and work out both ways. 04 is the Emperor. 37 is the King of Cups. Both are highly significant in my reality framework. This gives me further evidence that my knowledge of the path that I am on is correct, or at least mostly correct. 33 is the Christ vibration. It also is associated with being a Master Teacher. 38 is vision. 39 is the Knight of Cups that carries the vision of Peace to mankind. 40 is the Page of Cups -- in the whole sequence, it allows the 8 numbers to total 24/6 which could capture the O vibration, which between G and D yields GOD. 41 is the complete abundance that flows from spirit. 42 is the man and woman coming together guided by the adept who has the power to translate the knowledge from the higher realms. For me, there is not a more meaningful sequence of five numbers. The fact that it came up in a sequence of $20 bills is interesting as well, for 20 is the Tarot card that deals with the Judgement Day. It seems to me that the universe is clearly communicating to me. It's as strong as if I'd been hit over the head by a 2 by 4. At least, such is how it seems from my perspective.
Along this same line of thought, what did it take for this communication to take place. The bills had to be in the particular Versatel machine. I had to be at the machine at a time when the first bill of the sequence was at the top of the stack. Further, this is a once in a lifetime occurrence because I'm highly likely to spend the bills in different places, making it virtually impossible for them to come together again in order. Interesting. Further, the serial numbers had to meaning that could be conveyed. The language was established over about six months from Jul-Dec 93 when I was learning numerology and its associations with the Rider-Waite Tarot deck symbology. The only other requirement was that I needed to look at the numbers and perform the interpretation. I've developed the discipline to do this regularly, but not all the time. The newness of the bills made me look at the sequence right away, and then I knew that the universe was confirming that my current path is indeed the correct one. No, it doesn't tell me what I should do from here, but once again it shows that I can trust the universe to provide guidance and confirmation even in physical form. In some manner, this constitutes proof to me, proof that there is a spiritual reality every bit as real as the physical one, and further, that it is the spiritual that gives the physical its existence at all.
Interesting, all that from some numbers on bills that most people never even look at. But, this is how spirit operates. It is subtly interwoven in the greater reality, there for whoever has the eyes to see and the ears to hear. Such is my experience anyway. Is not that what these communications are about, listening to a voice that most do not hear, a voice that speaks to all of us if only we would take the time and develop the skills to listen to it.
I heard today, just briefly, about a nationwide organization that is working on an amendment to refound the constitution of the United States. (or something like that) It's interesting because I've written several times of the need to do this. A thought crossed my mind, that consciousness is already working behind the scenes to enable people with similar ideas to cooperate and communicate -- though the individuals involved may not even be aware that this communication is taking place. The collective unconscious is serving as a brain center, or communications central routing ideas and directions where they need to go to implement the Plan. Each need only do what they do best. One will be given whatever information is required to carry out ones tasks. As a particular example, I don't need to go out and try to get a constitutional convention backed, organized, and made a reality. I wouldn't even know where to start. What I need to do is come up with the spirit and ideas for change, the fire, and pass these on to others who can carry them in the intellectual, emotional, and physical realms. And, maybe, I don't even need to pass them on directly. I'm still learning how consciousness works, especially in the collective sense. Nothing can stop an idea whose time has come. There is great spiritual truth in it, for such ideas are the very expression of spirit itself in accord with the Plan.
I'm on a roll this month. This is the second weekend that I've worked on these notes from at home. Although, it is hard to call this work. It truly is a labor of Love. Further, it is something that I must do. It's as if I have no real choice. I must express. And, for the time being, this is the form that the expression must take. I don't question why this is. There simply is no doubt that this is right for me at this time. The excitement and the wonderful feelings that come from the process are wonderful side effects. Also, the writing is therapeutic for me.
Now, we have 250 M people in this country alone. How are their energies being channeled for change. It seems that, at most, a few hundred people determine where change is ultimately going. I don't mean personal change. Here, where talking about change that affects all of us in major ways that transform our lives. Maybe I've over-estimated, hundreds may be too high. One might even ask if there is anyone that has such power in this country today. Your first guess might be the President. However, there is not much he can do without going through Congress, and that alone makes any sort of meaningful change take such a long time and be so subject to compromises that it is nearly ineffective if indeed it ever sees the light of day. One of our main problems is that we're a country without a strong, clear VISION. Without such, we are basically doomed to mediocrity and the status quo. This is not how I choose to live. I call to others to step up and make the same choice and start thinking in terms of an America far greater then she is today, the true country of the I AM Race. We have a spiritual destiny to fulfill in this country, and it has nothing to do with our religions and churches. It has to do with allowing the I AM, spirit, to fully express through us in physical form with all of its joys and pleasures, here and now. To some degree, this amounts to establishing the equivalent of a "heaven on earth".
Watched Rain Man. It was a very good movie overall. It was interesting to see how the brain could organize itself in a manner so that some functions were performed at a superhuman or genius level, while other functions were retarded or didn't even exist at all. My sense was that the physical pathways were somehow defective in terms of how they organized from the very beginning so the resultant structures ended up being far from normal. Here, too, from a higher level spiritual perspective there is a reason for these special beings to exist. They too are expressing in a manner that is just as valid as any other, and consciousness learns from their expression. This is a key part of my belief system. Every mode of expression has value, and this applies whether it is positive or negative.
There is a sense that consciousness, the ONE, should be able to learn its lessons efficiently and effectively. It seems useless to have hundreds of thousands or even millions see and experience great suffering and sorrow. Currently, we have the Rwanda refugees. The United Nations should have the power and the resources to help with such situations. But, what is one to do with hatred? So long as this rears its ugly head, there will be problems and suffering. At what point are we going to realize that we are all one entity. It's as if there were a balloon and the individuals are created by poking a finger into the balloon. Once many such fingers are poked in, looking at the inside we have all these individuals populating the inner space -- over populating it if too many fingers are used. Through such an action individuals are placed in a competitive arena, even though they spring from one source. Somehow, this is analogous to how we spring from consciousness into competing individuals.
Lets back up to the topic of how consciousness learns of itself. As individuals our directive is know thyself. But it seems that no matter what level of consciousness were at we will sense ourselves as a unit, a one. Hence, we should always be driven by this same dictate. The drive should always be to know thyself. At some level, it doesn't matter how long this takes. And, for most of us, knowing ourselves is a side task in addition to some line of work or occupation. This is a bottom up view of things primarily, with individual consciousness striving to grow and become more aware. From the top down, consciousness is pulling the strings, providing the experiences that the world, each country, each region, each state, each family, and each individual needs for their growth. With our present media, information gets out quickly, in many cases to the entire world if its newsworthy enough. It is interesting how this works. If individuals generate information, as I do, it may or may not ever get out. But, events or words that impact or come from particular noteworthy or famous people can get wide audiences literally overnight. This is a powerful tool. The whole area of information is one that will have to be dealt with in the near future. We truly are living in an information age. However, our present information sources are relatively mindless. Even the news has been turned more into entertainment than into news that is truly of value in that in affects peoples lives. Do we really need all of the media sources to cover O.J.Simpson case? Is it truly that important? One answer is that it must be given the ratings showing how many people are watching and listening. I have to admit, the few times that I've listened, I found it interesting to here the judicial process in action. On the other hand, it appalls me that so much money will be spent on the case by both sides and in the end we will still have no real assurance that justice was served. This idea that the state should have to prove one to be guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt under a particular set of rules as to how evidence is obtained is a game, and a game that employs a lot of people and resources at that. There must be a better way. The trial lawyers definitely treat the game as if they were modern day gladiators engaged in battle. Does this really serve anyone. Why can't we just deal with truth. We only need the answer to one simple question. For instance, O.J., did you do it? It's time that we grow up and take responsibility for our actions and expect others to do the same. If they aren't willing to do so, then they clearly don't want to be part of the new society that we are in the process of creating.
There are simple ways to attack other problems as well. Income tax is a fiasco. It is time to take all the stupid special interest crap out of the process. The bottom line should be multiply wages/earnings by xx% to get taxes. No deductions, no exceptions. All types of income count as earnings. xx is a graduated table. We wouldn't need tax preparers, or tax lawyers anymore. Why can't things be simple? Especially, when there is no need to keep them complex.
One more day and the month is over. It's been a very productive month however, a record month for these notes by a substantial amount, nearly fifty percent. I'm not sure what to attribute this to other than that I have not felt so drugged this month. This has allowed me to focus more time and attention, which in turn results in more pages. As to whether they're more meaningful or have more total information content, that's a different matter that is not for me to assess. I must do what I must do, and this month it was to write these notes. I'll continue to do this so long as it is what my consciousness is attracted to do. Yes, attracted is the right word. I do not set aside specific time to write. I expect the task to be so important, so attractive that I will be driven to do it in the moment. Today is a case in point. I got up at 11:00, but did not get around to writing until nearly 8:00 pm. Some days it's like that. Other days, I might be writing within minutes after I get up. It all depends on what needs to come though and when I'm in an appropriate state to serve as the channel.
Enough babbling. So, what needs to come through today? Looking out at the world, especially in this country, it is not so clear that people really want or are ready for major change. It's as if they have reached a level of comfort that find acceptable even in the midst of some nagging national problems. Most have found a way to survive and get basic needs met. They are wary of potentially giving that up for the promise of something different. What case do I have to offer that shows there is truly a better way? What will it take to implement this new way? Can it be done so that there is a smooth transition from the present way of life to the new one at least in terms of basic goods and services? Are not the distribution and wholesale/retail of goods already undergoing optimization? If we were to establish the infrastructure for a new community, we could look at this from the collective perspective and optimize the solution. Even here, there are already master planned communities, retirement and otherwise, appearing across the country. The prototypes are already developed, and they were developed from the standpoint of providing the environment to support a level of lifestyle. We need more such communities for our people.
To make something real, someone has to think the thoughts and come up with the ideas. Then, if the time is right, a whole instrumentality of means will be activated to assist in making it so. Some ideas get pushed to far before their time by men thinking that they possess the power to create change in this world. And, to some degree they do, however they generally lack the wisdom to implement the idea in ways that are spiritually sound. The Russian Revolution and the rise of Communism was this way. The ideas captured the minds of a sufficient body of people to cause great change. However, the ideal was not lived up to do to the frailties of men when it comes to dealing with power. Also, there is something sour about change that is born through heavy bloodshed, not only sour but sad. There should be a way to execute change through peaceful means as well. What do I know about communism? A good question. I've not read any of Marx or Lenin, and know virtually nothing about the modern Soviet Union before or after its breakup several years ago. What I know is that the key principle that Marx and Communism base society on is "from each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs". This statement is a very high spiritual truth. The fact that they screwed up the implementation doesn't alter the fact that this is a spiritual truth. Further, it is a more recent truth than the principles of independence on which the United States is founded since it was revealed at a much later time, in particular around 1917. Because the US and USSR were engaged in such an intimate struggle of superpowers it appears that in some way our destinies are tied, the Eagle and the Bear. In the Medicine Cards, the Eagle is 1 and Bear is 5. From the Tarot, the 1 card is the Magician and the 5 card is the Hierophant. Eagle = 51735 = 21 = The World. Bear = 2519 = 17 = The Star. Now I can make my reading. The way of the US will work for the world, but we need to adopt the way of the USSR to stretch to the stars. My sense is that the illusion of our way of life in the US and the incredible amount of denial will come to the surface in the immediate future. In many ways, we are already seeing the signs of this. At some point, we as part of the United Nations need to come to grips with the fact that there are far too many people on the planet already. I've heard estimates that the world's population should be no greater than 500 million or so. We currently have ten times that on the planet. This shows up in major problems with nearly all of the earth's ecosystems, and in a very poor standard of living for billions of people on the planet. Why do we permit this to be? This is our world. It's time we take responsibility and do something about the problems that we have caused. In particular, our standard of living and way of life in the United States probably inflicts more damage than anyone else even though we constitute less than 1 percent of the world's population. Interesting. How much more time will elapse before we wake up and find out that we're sleeping on a time bomb? If we, who are richest among nations, don't take responsibility, who will?
In this country, there is a strong belief in freedom of opportunity. Anyone can come up with a new idea of service, start a business, and prosper as far as their talents and abilities will take them. This may apply to baseball players, and others with extremely rare skills that can command high prices, but most of us have to settle for a position or a business that allows us to get by from week to week and month to month and year to year. A significant portion, on the order of 6-10 percent want work but can't find it. Is this really what we want? Sure, it's OK, but is OK really enough? My VISION of the country and the world says there is a better way, and it starts via the formation of a society. A society is greater than a collection of states or a government. A society is a collection of people that bond together for the greater good of all. In a society, each member is taken care of in exchange for providing their services in some manner that benefits the society. We already know that we have more people than we need to provide goods and services to people in this country. However, we also know that there are many things that need to be done that there is no money to pay to do. To me this is stupid. As a society, all of the money is all of ours. If we have carpenters out of work, and carpentry work that has to be done, we're simply wasting resources. The day of the carpenters time that is lost can never be recovered. We need to think in terms of people being the most important resources in this country. Then, we need to construct an economic system such that all of the people are employed in ways that use their abilities and talents in a manner that ensures that sufficient goods and services are provided to meet the collective needs of individuals. Further, we need to ensure that the infrastructure is established in a manner so that the overall lifestyle is improved.
We've finally reached the last day of the month. Sixty pages, not bad. I set a goal of two pages per day some time ago. This is the first month I've actually achieved it, at least on an average pages per day basis. But, page count is not a meaningful measure of productivity. It is what is said in those pages that matters. Here, it becomes difficult to judge, for I don't know what to compare these writings to. I've not read anything that comes through in this way before. Oh, I've read channeled material extensively. But, these notes don't just bring a message as most channeled works do. These notes capture the experiences of a being in the midst of a spiritual awakening, or maybe a set of spiritual awakenings. This is a sharp distinction, one that potentially makes these notes all the more valuable as a similar process as described in the notes may apply to others as well. All along, this vehicle has served as the means for documenting my process. But, I am a wayshower. What worked for me can work for many others. Further, much of the process involved becoming aware of other aspects of my Self that were able to communicate to me via inner channels. These inner channels are a part of all of us. Yes, the specifics of how this works will differ from person to person. However, the general principles will be very similar. After all, we are all subject to the same spiritual laws.
So, what did July bring? For me, there is increased confidence and integration of mind/spirit and body. This is primarily due to reducing my drug intake, however, there may be astrological factors coming into play as well. Leo started 8 or 9 days ago. It's my rising sign, so I pull a lot of spiritual energy from it. It also has an impact toward grandiosity of thought which has been appearing in these notes quite a bit over the past week of so. July went by faster than any month so far this year. It's amazing how the hours feed into days feed into weeks and before you know it the month is over. I haven't made any progress in getting the notes or the message of beyond imagination out, yet I'm starting to see signs that people are expending effort towards implementing or starting to implement some of the ideas that have come through me. I wonder whether my expression of such ideas in the way that I did opened the way for others to receive these ideas. I don't know how the collective consciousness works, but it must act as a repository and transfer agency for such ideas to individuals around the world. Yes, we have books that physically capture ideas. But, there is an inner mechanism as well that is far grander than all of our books and libraries. This brings up the basic question of how do individuals place themselves in positions where there spiritual tasks also generate their means of existence? In my personal case, it is very difficult to work at my engineering job just to have a means to pay the bills. And, at the present time that is the only reason that I am there. Were I able to earn equivalent pay for doing this writing full time, I would be far happier and far more productive.
The voice within says trust. Your present circumstances are right for what you need to experience and do at this time. When it is in your best interest for them to change, they will indeed change. Don't look at it logically. There is no way you could ever consider all the factors that make this so. Look within, and let your heart explain to you why you are in your present condition. When you do so, you will know that your life is guided by spirit, and you will be positioned in a manner that is optimum for achieving your mission. You have to be careful not to jump the gun. There is nothing that you can do to speed up the process. It is moving as fast as consciousness can take it without it getting out of control. Have patience. Your time will indeed come. In the meantime, do what you are moved to do and write whenever you can. It is important that you document your process and progress along the path toward greater and greater spiritual awareness. Be open to changes, but don't try to control them. They will happen when the timing is appropriate. Once again, patience and trust. Also, rely on your own knowingness to bring to you whatever information or guidance is required.
Will I move to Colorado within the next year? There is a strong probability of this, but, it is dependent on a number of factors that are not yet decided. Will I have an alternate income equal to or greater than my Loral income within the next year? Because of your strong attachment to the outcome of this question, we choose not to provide a answer. We would prefer that you be surprised by the circumstances that unfold. Besides, we've already told you that you will always be provided with the right circumstances for your growth and the performance of your mission. This means that your current circumstances are right for this. As soon as you understand why, then it will be time for you to move on. This applies to both the location and the job.
So, here and now, what is it that I can do to facilitate the growth and to start to carry out my mission? You are already doing what you can do. Enjoy the magic of it all more often. Look out and truly see the grandeur and wonder that spirit has wrought. For, it is spirit that has done all this and even more that lies unseen beneath the surface. See the world as the unity that it already is. Don't place this unity out somewhere in the future. It is here and now -- we have only to see it through a different set of eyes. As soon as we see differently, the world will have already transformed. We repeat, you don't have to wait for the world to change for you to see it differently -- change your seeing of it first.
Basic spiritual principles have guided the development of this country. However, the principles were unveiled in series and carried to extremes to demonstrate important facets of these truths. One area of difficulty arose in that the principle of moderation was somehow lost. Further, most of the basic structures were set up in a manner that made it difficult to change them once they had been established. We're only now becoming enlightened enough to understand in how much darkness we had to struggle to give individuals basic rights. Look how much the world has awakened in the past 220 years alone! Yet, look how much darkness continues to exist. In some way, both are required. We're playing a game of consciousness exploring limitation to the greatest degree that it can. The limitation occurs by consciousness separating itself into pieces, individuals, with autonomy but limited ability to communicate with one another. Further, even within the individual only a small part of itself is given awareness, and a limited awareness at that. We now have over five billion of these units of consciousness in human form, with varying degrees of awareness in each particular individual. Today alone, over 1,000 Rwandan refugees died and this in spite of a massive relief effort. We literally have a state of affairs where human life, much less animal life, has very limited value. It is time for this to change. And, it is changing. Once again, here too we must trust in the Plan and the way of spirit. Events and circumstances must play themselves in this particular way to have the effect that is required. We are at a time where the media is in a position to serve as the connecting link that empowers a nation by showing them what is happening, and motivating them to act in a way to change it. Wherever there is inhumanity, or damage being done to the environment, people should be activated to fight for change. Along with this, however, we need to make sure that people are accurately informed with the truth. More than this, we also need to find a way to add a spiritual balance back to life. Maybe back to life is inappropriate, my sense is that such balance has not existed before, at least not in this country. Other countries, such as Tibet, have a firmly established spiritual side of their daily life. I'm not advocating that we need something at all similar. After all, we are a completely different people. And NO, we definitely don't want a state religion or anything like that. However, we ought to be able to set down a series of spiritual principles that defines how we as a society behave toward and interact with one another. This should become the core of an agreement that we all share as a contract between us.
Of course, the penalties for violating the agreement must be called out explicitly -- with the ultimate penalty being banishment from the society. You might ask, why not Death? I would argue that a people who know that we are spirit manifest in flesh can never find a soul so immersed in darkness that it cannot be shown the way to light. To say that the only option is to put a being to death is to say that the only way to save the body some discomfort is to cut off a part of it. I know, surgeons do this routinely. However, we should be questioning this as well. What is the meaning of such procedures? Especially on the scale that they currently occur. Why do we have so many medical problems that over 10 % of our GNP is required to pay the bills? Why all the cancers and other life threatening diseases? What is there about our lifestyle as a nation that causes all of this? For these effects are clearly the result of our way of being and what that says about what we believe about life. One possible answer is that there is an added drama that comes into the life of people choosing such experiences. This is indeed true. But, there can also be a lot of pain. It is not for me to decide why souls would choose such experiences, but I must trust that they do it for good reason, either for there own growth or in service to other beings. Every role is required in the larger drama. Consciousness must experience it all, or the darkness cannot be fully lifted. Once again, we are playing a grand drama in which we are all actors playing our particular roles. All of us came from consciousness and to consciousness we return once we are done. As actors, we experience a lot of things, we may even die, but it's all illusion, just a play. When we finish one role we come back to play another. When we die, we leave the current character, that's all. Yet, in another sense, what we experience seems real. While we are experiencing it, we are generally not aware of our true reality as spirit. So, how is it that this experience that seems so real could be illusion? This gets back to the very nature of reality and reality creation.
From the top down, spirit has created the worlds and forms in which it could manifest and gain particular types of experience. Consciousness flung itself out breaking itself up into many pieces and fragments with the intent that these pieces would eventually stop going outward and start coming back to their source. As they went outward, they manifest greater and greater diversity and learned more and more about the nature of limitation. Only through unity could the tide turn and bring the pieces of consciousness back together again to the ONE that they truly are.
Our experience on earth has been to experience limitation much further than other species on other planets. This wasn't necessarily planned. It is just how it turned out. Here's where it would be useful to have a better background in history and anthropology. But, then again, maybe not. Perhaps it's better to let consciousness tell whatever story it want to tell. Then again, perhaps the history doesn't matter that much anyway. Throughout these writing the focus has been on HERE and NOW. This is the only point where reality is experienced. Though, part of here and now is whatever we know of the past as well. Here, too, we have to be careful for time is not as it appears to us. This is part of the limitation we have imposed upon ourselves. Hmm. I find it hard to imagine what our existence looks like without its particular means of restricting time. There is a sense that our reality, the illusion, is somehow without limitation. Possibilities are all played out, though we as individuals are restricted to one path. Each decision point leads to branches, all of which consciousness explores. Consciousness is driven to experience, and to experience it must create a reality that is sufficient. Through creating and experiencing, consciousness comes to know itself -- it's own nature. We are consciousness, spirit enfleshed, experiencing the process in a single thread of time.
How can I use this in a practical way? I know that I am spirit enfleshed. Further, I know that awakening involves realizations that allow the brain and it's structures to be more fully aligned with spirit. It's as if the realizations create pathways or structures in the brain that then permit new elements of spirit to be captured in flesh. We are growing to become self-knowing spiritual beings. There have been special souls throughout history there to show the way. Further, their thoughts have served as the beacons calling to all who would choose to fathom the nature of their own beings. Many of the most important ideas have been around for a very long time. However, the keys necessary to truly turn on the torch so that the Light could shine in sufficient brilliance to usher in the Aquarian Age are only now being found. Remember, this is a play. It mattered not that it took 200 years or 2000 or even 2 Million. What mattered was that the Play occur so consciousness could learn enough of individualization and limitation to want to return back to the whole from which it came, and this time from a cooperative standpoint based on a freedom of choice. Consciousness already has the next adventure planned, the Aquarian Age. We are now in the process of auditioning for the roles we are to play both in ushering the age into being and in living through the age.
beyond@redshift.com
Copyright © 1995, Wayne Hartman, Revised -- (18 Sep 95)