3 Jan 94

Wow, a new month and a new year. 1994 is supposed to be my year, per Jan Kertz. It will be interesting to see what the Play brings. I'm sure many changes are forthcoming and I look forward to them. My wife thinks I've gone overboard like a born-again Christian. She sees it as very negative because of her experience with such people in the past, and her experience growing up at home. She believes it is detrimental to my ability to function in the normal world. She doesn't see that I'm coming from a state of consciousness where I am no longer concerned with living in a manner that conforms with the normal world or conventional society. I am ready to live my life in freedom out of my own knowledge and understanding of truth. I've always been one that marched to the beat of a different drummer. Now, I choose to live in accord with higher principles and not be bound by what others expect. As Paul Twitchell's biography was titled "In my Soul, I am Free". I feel this way now, more than at any other time in my life. I'm not quite out of jail, but it's only a matter of time. And it matters not exactly how much time it takes, for such is determined by the plan for my highest good and that of all others concerned.

In some ways, I am born again, or at least awakened, in spirit. I've just been through six months of extremely powerful spiritual awakenings that completely altered my state of consciousness and my experience of reality. This process cannot be reversed, nor would I want it to be. My awareness is now far beyond where it was before, as is my resolve to do the work that is in line with my purpose, the very work that I came to the planet to do. The resolve is so strong that nothing on Earth can stop me from carrying out my Self-assigned destiny. The work is as important as life itself.

This is new to my awareness, so I'm figuring out the ramifications each moment. The meanings that I assign to things are different. This makes the very nature of my reality different. Things are much more symbolic and carry multiple levels of meaning if only we are tuned to see them. Life itself is a game being played by consciousness for a purpose. There is meaning behind it all on many levels. The intricacies are amazing, simply wonderful to behold. The world is fresh and newly alive in ways that were absent to me before. I sit inside my head in full awareness of it all, seeing reality unfold before the eyes of this vessel for consciousness that I occupy. I am not what I see, yet at the same time what I see is an intimate reflection of me. It matters not where I look, the reflection back is always an aspect of myself. And, this is true for all of us at all times. How wonderful life is -- how incredibly beautiful.

The Play is taking us exactly where we need to go. It allows us to learn the most important of all lessons, that we are consciousness enfleshed. The whole purpose of the Play is to get us to discover our nature so that we can know ourselves. It mattered not that it took 2000 years to accomplish. Time is irrelevant. That is why my current wait is of no import either. In a Play where lifetimes of struggle were the common expression throughout most of the scenes, what's a few months of minor inconveniences?

It appears that the pace of events is accelerating. There is much remaining to be done to get us to the departure point from which we can enter into the Aquarian Age. However, much of the communications technology now available or becoming available will enable the great work to get to the people of the world. The information infrastructure is near completion per the Plan. To get through in the physical requires physical mechanisms. To wake up those who are asleep, one must strike them through the media to which they are directing their attention. Television gets to a large majority, at least in this country. Books, magazines, and radio are the other major available channels. The intent is to offer appropriate programs and information to get people to wake up, and then have the support structure necessary to motivate them to stay awake. Of course, what we want them to be awake for is the Dawn, the Dawn of the Age of Aquarius.

Not everyone needs to be awake for this event, but those sufficiently aware in consciousness to experience it will not want to miss the advent of the new millennium. Actually, it is much more than this, for the journey to this point has taken over 24,000 years. The Piscean Age was the end of a cycle of 12 ages.

Each age brings a new realization. The message for our times was given by Jesus at the beginning of the cycle. He provided the example of what we all are, if only we could drop our illusions and see out true nature.

Still struggling with being here at work. Yes, it's where my pay check comes from. However, it no longer has sufficient interest to hold my attention for very long. It's a major chore to focus on the tasks of the job, especially since it is up to me to determine the specific tasks. It's much easier for me to allow my mind to be free to soar where it will. Inevitably, where it settles is on the nature of reality and our true nature as consciousness. There has to be a way to make my living through what I love. There just has to be a way. So, what must I realize to make it so? I still find it unfair to give less than my all to the job I am doing. Perhaps this is where my thinking is in error. Right now, it is not clear what my tasking is. The job requires that I do what I am tasked to do and keep the customer happy as best I can. The job also requires that I spend 40 hours per week at the workplace. The current task does not require 40 hours of my time each week. I could spend 40 hours (or at least try) but it would be very boring and unproductive. I haven't thought of any way to change this to make it more fulfilling. Perhaps this is a gift from the universe, allowing me to get my job done plus providing me time for my spiritual work as well. This gets to the very heart of what it means to be responsible and to operate with integrity. The fact that it persists points out that there is something I am meant to learn from this. Art has been dealing with this for years. Hmm, in my own way, so have I. Life in the Air Force was no different. I've always had jobs that could be done with only a part of my energy. What I haven't had before is something else that I'm excited about that I could do to fill in the idle work time. I spent my first four years here giving more of myself than the job itself required. Perhaps this is my reward for doing more work than I was paid for. Hmm. That's an interesting way to look at things. Besides, it's only temporary. Further, what I do next will not require resumes or referrals related to what I've done before. My books are my resumes. They define what I do best and identify in what areas I want to work. I will not be working in areas that do not captivate my heart after my 35th year.

1994 is a destiny year for me. 1993 has taught me whom that I am to prepare the way. Now it is time to use my newfound knowledge of self to start doing what I came to the planet to do. This feels right. It rings true to me. It's only a matter of when the timing occurs in accord with the Plan. The timing will be right, it always is. Thy Will be done. I am but a servant of consciousness. Direct me to where I can be of the greatest service in accord with the Plan. The forces of light grow stronger with each passing day. Let Love and Light transform the peoples of the Earth and allow a new day of conscious expression of spirit to arise. Put in my hands the divine instruments to help awaken others and align them with their purposes that they too can be employed in the service of consciousness. Allow my word to express Thy Truths and Purpose unto all who have ears to hear and eyes to see. Thank you! So be it!

4 Jan 94

Just had an interesting discussion with Art. The major focus was on emotions. This is an area which I don't know much about intellectually. I know that I feel deeply, but I usually keep my feelings to myself. In particular, I don't think about feelings.

From Art's standpoint, this is a problem. From my standpoint, it's a natural way of expressing. The fact that a conversation arose centered around this area means that their is something greater that I need to see. My sense is that this ties to a hierarchy of lessons. This is related to learning about the various bodies: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. People experience what they need to learn about the parts of themselves. Rather than four levels, these four areas are aligned as a diamond with physical on the bottom, emotional and mental in the middle, and spiritual on top. The choices for spiritual growth are to:

(1) start at the physical and go directly to the spiritual through right action in the world

(2) start at the physical and go through the emotional on the path of devotion

(3) start at the physical and go through the mental on the path of knowledge

(4) start at the physical and go through the mental and emotional on the path of love/wisdom

Interesting. This allows for beings to express in any manner through action/thinking/feeling. It is not necessary that everyone follow the same path or develop every body to the same degree. In fact, it would be a waste to do so. There is a great increase in functionality that comes through specialization. Specialization is simply a choice of focus made by the soul.

In my particular case, the thinking/feeling distinction came out exactly even. Interesting. That is because I chose the path of love/wisdom and wanted to make it relatively easy on myself to learn who and what I am. Others can come in with any brain preference and a lesson of finding a particular path. This makes for some interesting dramas. Further, most people come into existences with so many basic lessons to learn that spirituality is only a small part in their lives.

---

I'm extremely excited about the possibilities that lie ahead. Every experience brings me to greater levels of awareness and spiritual self-realization. I'm getting a bit tired of doing it all alone, however. I want to share what's in me, whom that I am, with others in a way that is intimate. I haven't truly been able to do this because no one around me appears ready to converse and to share at this level. Art and Edwin come close. At least I can be open with them. However, I long for someone that comes from a similar level of awareness, someone who is awake and not mesmerized by the physical world.

Per Channing, I'm coming very close to having a free mind. That's always been important to me, but I've never been this close before. More and more I'm finding that the oracle is within me, and this I allow to guide my life wherever it may lead. Art had a comment that he was concerned about what would happen with my body when my mind is free. No problem, the body is intelligent and fully able to take care of its own needs. After all, the body includes the brain.

The future looks bright. The present, however, appears just as bright. These are exciting times. I'm producing metaphysical material at an astounding rate. It's as if I were truly plugged into life for the first time. I have energy and enthusiasm, and I'm dedicated to doing what I came to the planet to do. Further, my understanding of reality and reality creation is clearer and more positive than it has ever been. I'm seeing a higher level meaning in my interactions with others that I never noticed before. I'm doing what my intuition and guidance tells me to do, and trusting that everything is happening in the right manner at the right time in accordance with a higher plan. My main job is to keep my focus on being self-aware. The more that I can focus on knowing myself, the more awake I become. Remaining awake is becoming easier and easier all the time. At some point it will become virtually automatic.

It will be interesting to see how the Play unfolds, interesting indeed. My wife appears to be resolving some of her issues so the energy is free to move. How and where it will move remain to be seen, but however and wherever will be as appropriate to present whatever feedback both of us need in this area. I no longer impose my will on these things. It is up to the greater Will to do through this instrument what need be done. It appears that my wife may still be struggling with a need to impose her will in the situation. Then again, perhaps she'll be able to let it go as well and trust what her oracles are telling her. Mine come through my inner self. Hers do as well but choose to use the cards and the runes. Interesting. She's on her own spiritual quest as well, and is undergoing her own realization. The uncertainty of my state provided a major shake in the foundation of her world on many levels. She too is recovering in her own way from the trauma. In many ways, we still do not know one another, even after six years. Much of this is that we truly are different people than we were when we first met. I still love her dearly. There is something that struck me on an inner level that I can never shake. We were two souls destined to get together and help each other to awaken. It hasn't been an easy six years, but it has been very productive and beneficial overall. If I'm to communicate with Gini, I have to find a way to relate to her on her own terms. Interesting, why did I not see this before. Recently, I've been trying to communicate in a way that puts me in the other person's shoes or at least ensures that I listen enough for them to get their message across. This is important to me as well because it lets me know where they are coming from and it provides higher level feedback that I need to see from a spiritual standpoint.

Hmm. It seems that everything I pay attention to now takes on a spiritual flavor. I guess the purple is really out and flowing now. It will be interesting to see what Geraldine Stringer has to say about Beyond Imagination. I wonder what's next on my agenda from spirit. Reality Creation is coming rapidly to its conclusion. That puts essentially three books in my stable in less than three months. Not bad, indeed. Maybe it's time for a bit of a rest to regroup awhile and allow reality to run its course. It does lag consciousness by quite awhile, after all.

6 Jan 94

Got by a whole day at work without finding any time to write. I'm using some tools to do some analysis and I'm finding it fascinating to see just how the tools empower one to look at large quantities of data. The major lesson learned is that my work allows me the opportunity to do things that are interesting.

I should have known this, but I was in the midst of some serious doubt. After all, I was able to keep it interesting for nearly four years. Work and my metaphysical pursuits aren't mutually exclusive. There are still some things I need to learn from this environment. Rather than fight it, it's best to go with the flow of things for awhile and see where they take me. There is plenty of time to write, and the universe needs time to bring about major changes. My books, for instance need to get in the hands of the right people -- and this needs to happen physically, probably through a publisher. Struck out with Barbara Marx Hubbard and her Foundation for Conscious Evolution. They're only a little more established than Beyond Imagination. They did mention that Barbara's book was self-published so they're sticking their neck out a little as well -- it's nice to see that they believe that much in what they are doing. I did get a nice letter back from someone under Barbara that indicates one or more people in the office may have read part of my notes. Further, they came to the conclusion that my notes expressed spiritual truth. That felt good to hear.

There is a major lesson in all this for me. I was thinking in terms of needing a teacher or a guide to help get me through the awakenings and shifts in consciousness that I have been going through. But, I'm a Aries, a trail blazer. I don't do things like the crowd, I lead the way that others may follow. All my life, I've been on my own following the best trails available to me. My self has guided me all along the way, through every joy and difficulty. Everytime I've needed anything, my Self has brought it to me. What better guide or teacher could one have? The process that got me this far will get me as far as I can go. The further, the better -- for that will make it all the easier to fulfill my destiny of helping to usher in the Dawn of a New Age.

While this has been my path, it's not one that works for the masses. I've always possessed a frame of mind that could understand the whole picture, and took pleasure in seeing things from a higher perspective. That's a rare skill that allowed me to approach life differently because of the specific way that I interpreted reality. My soul chose these particular skills because they provided the optimum opportunity for carrying out my mission. Interesting.

Talked to Gerry this morning. He's very open and aware overall. In fact, he may be one of the most open people I know. We had a good 30 minute discussion on reality creation and he understood everything that I had to say. Also, he had some good observations that showed he has thought about much of this on his own. I am/have attracted the right people around me for creating the environment I need to grow and help others that are at the right level of development to benefit from my help. Then again, of course I would. After all, my higher Self is writing my part in this play of Life.

Something about the energy says that it is time to rest and recover a bit. The circuits have been on overload for nearly two months. But, I found out what I am capable of, even with the job and the commute. The channels are opened widely now. The capacity has increased substantially so that both the quality and quantity of material that can come through are good. The channel will be put to good use.

I can count on all actions to be right from a standpoint of showing me something, but I have no clue as to whether an action will have what I think is its intended effect. Physical actions are initiated to get information from outside of us. The information that comes back has value in and of itself. I'm to live in the NOW. That means obeying any inner prompting to contact or send information to others, but doing so without expectation of what should come from my action. When the moment of response comes, in that NOW the new reality is created -- in some instances there may even be no response. This too provides its own information.

I can trust that everything is being worked out so that the actions and the timings are perfect for the unfoldment of the participants that are involved. It is not for me to make anything happen. It is for me to grow in consciousness as far and as fast as I am able. I'm riding along in this vehicle that is my body. But I'm responsible for what it experiences via my beliefs and the actions of my conscious mind. Hmm. I just had this thought related to "If I'm so smart, why am I not rich?" --

it was "If I'm so smart, why am I not healthy?" The answer lies in beliefs, lower level beliefs of what the body truly is and what it is subjected to. At what level is the detail of the body's relationship to it's environment consciously controlled vs operation via a lower level program that is only loosely controlled by higher level beliefs? I'm constantly being confronted with merging the lower level view of detailed operation with the higher level view of overall creation of reality. As humans, this seems to be what our reality is all about. We are in the midst of this detailed physical reality, yet we know we are not of it -- this is not our natural state of being, consciousness is.

7 Jan 94

Read some more of The Nature of Personal Reality last night. Seth is still wonderful after over 20 years. I'm understanding many things for the first time. In the past, the ideas felt right but they were not a core part of my conscious experience of the world. Now, I have lived through experiences that demonstrate the principles in operation. Reading the book again allows my ego to refresh itself with the meaning of the ideas and concepts that Seth presents. In the process my own understanding of the nature of reality is confirmed or modified based on the consideration of new ideas or a different way of looking at things.

My conversation with Art today was enlightening as well -- providing insight into some key principles regarding how we create our physical reality. Art has been dealing with this in a dramatically personal way. My sense as he was talking was that it was important to truly listen and not interrupt. He had a message for me that I was supposed to hear, but it could only come out if I allowed it and then thought about it awhile. Every interaction that I have with others teaches me about them, about reality, and about myself. Life is a mirror. We get back what we are. Interesting how this works.

10 Jan 94

I'm feeling quite strange. It's as if I'm on a hold pattern again. Beyond Imagination and Reality Creation came through very quickly -- the pace was nearly unreal. Now I sit and wait again, this time for I know not what. Helping Gini with her move and then around the house was quite a chore, but a necessary one. Also, Gini definitely appreciated it. My talk with the two ladies to whom I delivered the rug was more than a coincidence, however. The talk started with their extensive collection of carved crystals then moved to metaphysics. I was able to voice many of the ideas that I express in Beyond Imagination. Overall, the principles and beliefs went well. I learned that there may be more of an audience for my stuff that I had previously thought. I wonder what the Kramers will have to say. From what I know about them, they should be naturally attracted to the material. Further, they should know what the audience might be.

Gave copies of my questionnaire to Art, Dennis, and Paul. We'll see if any of them provide answers so that I can verify that I have a service that is truly useful to people. I realize that I'm targeting a relatively small audience -- but then, I only need five per week or so to make a living as a spiritual consultant. If this were to start soon, I could supplement my income enough to pay off the overdue bills I accrued while going through my spiritual transformation last year. If it's for the good of all concerned, than so be it -- inner self make it so!

Conscious mind, make me aware of any blocks that limit your ability to bring abundance into my life. Search though all conscious beliefs and identify any core beliefs that constrain my experience of abundance. Bring to my attention any such constraining beliefs in whatever way is most effective for me to act in a more enlightened fashion. Provide suggestions as to how I might proceed to greatly enhance our experience of abundance. I'm not looking for more things or better things for their own sake though this too might be desirable. I am looking for a way to be employed by the universe doing the things I came to the planet to do. In exchange for performing my mission, I expect the universe to care for my needs. I trust that the universe knows what both of these are, and will guide me in the direction I need to follow to pursue achievement of my mission.

Needs are physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual:

Physical needs are food, clothing, shelter, and health.

.....(a) food : nourishing, sufficient, timely, tasty.

.....(b) clothing: clean, functional, fashionable, easy to care for.

.....(c) shelter: warm, functional, suitable location, suitable design, low-maintenance.

.....(d) health: enjoyable exercise, recreation, care as required.

Many of the physical needs have an affordable factor as well. Abundance would drop the affordability concern and provide sufficient material to meet the needs regardless of the cost involved. I don't believe any of these attribute are out of line. However, there is always the question of wants vs needs.

The universe allows you to determine what you need, since needs have emotional and intellectual components as well.

(1) You will get as much space as you can effectively use.

(2) You will get as many things as you can effectively enjoy.

(3) You will be as healthy as you believe yourself to be.

(4) You will have as much abundance as you feel yourself to be worthy of.

Emotional needs are safety and security, freedom of expression, health, companionship, joy, happiness, and love.

.....(a) safety and security: able to feel safe and secure in our environment and our world.

.....(b) freedom of expression: able to be who we are and to express what we feel.

.....(c) health: testing and monitoring, education, care as required.

companionship: others with whom to share our feelings, friends. .....(d) joy and happiness: able to enjoy life and be happy on a regular basis.

.....(e) love: able to love ourselves, special others, all others, and our world.

It is not so easy for most people to meet these needs. Affordability is not the issue for the most part. Instead, what is most prominent is our trust in ourselves, others, and in our world. The only part of this that we truly have control over is trust in ourselves. The other two elements we choose as well -- but based on a model that we have about others and the world and their basic trustworthiness.

The only thing that comes to mind as the operating principle here is that what you get will be a reflection of yourself.

Because of this we have the power to change what we experience by examining the beliefs that we have that are being reflected back in our experience.

Directions to Self (in particular to Conscious Mind)

(1) Search through conscious mind to find any beliefs that are hampering meeting the emotional needs identified above. Where you can, eliminate these beliefs yourself based on your understanding of my current direction to greatly improve how well my emotional needs are met. The goal is to realize emotional abundance by removing any blocks in the current believe system and by adding any empowering new beliefs that are required. If there are beliefs that require my attention, make me aware of them in whatever way is most effective for my realization. Thank you.

If there are important areas that I have left out in the physical and emotional needs, make me aware of them in whatever manner is most effective. Don't rely on my past directions in determining what is important -- use your best judgement from our current state of awareness.

From this point forward, we operate as a team. I'll provide the overall guidance with your input of course; you do whatever it takes to accomplish things based on your best judgement, asking me for any additional guidance that might be needed. Also, it would help me if you would provide information to me on how you see yourself, what your functions and abilities are, and what you see to be your purpose. I'm curious to know with whom I am speaking and interacting. It seems that we should be the best of friends. Our relationship is that close -- yet, on the other hand, it is founded in conscious ignorance. I am ready now to start eliminating the darkness of ignorance wherever I find it with myself. For when it is removed from my "I", than I shall not see it in my world either. This is the next step of the quest toward enlightenment.

Seek and ye shall find.
Knock and the door shall be answered.
Ask and it shall be given unto you.

These be the keys. They have been before us for nearly 2000 years. The mansion is the Self. What we seek is truth; the truth of whom that we are. It's up to us to be curious enough and dedicated enough to place our full attention on our seeking; courageous enough to knock on the door; humble enough to ask for what we need. Interesting, very interesting. I don't recall seeing this presented in this manner before.

Note: These keys may or may not be in line with those that are found in the Bible. I started with these, then attempted to correct them, then changed them back. There is some reason they need to be worded as they are above.

The struggle is always of the self with the Self. The Self has no struggle with anyone or anything. The Self's struggle is the joy of consciousness finding a way to express itself within its own creation. It's an effort born of its endless love for us, the parts of itself that are struggling to remember our birthright.

The three keys keep reverberating in my consciousness. Seek, knock, ask -- in that order. That's all there is to it. Our consciousness has many doors, yet by seeking we can find them. Knocking on the door results in an answer by some entity or portion of ourself. Asking then allows us to retrieve whatever gifts that entity has to give unto us. The process works in the outer world as well. But there, it is not so clear what we are seeking for. Similarly, we can knock on the doors that we find yet some may be answered while others are not. Further, we can ask but what we ask for may or may not be given unto us.

The greatest meaning comes from a third way of seeing. Seek Love and ye shall find your own Heart. Knock at the door to the Heart and the door shall be answered by the Christ within you, ask of that Christ anything you will and it shall be given unto you. The Christ within you is also the Self -- they are one and the same. Therefore, Self-Realized equals Christ Conscious.

I have an intense shiver going through my entire body. This is one of my signs that I've uncovered or realized a great truth. I want to take the time to let it sink in fully.

Know thyself once again becomes the crucial directive to each and every individual. For age upon age this one statement has guided nearly all the mystery traditions. This one precept held the key to greatest struggle or battle of them all, that of taking a being from darkness and ignorance of itself into the Light of Self-Knowledge. No other task is more important than this either for an individual or for a society. This should be the primary role of education, but such has not been the case for many centuries.

11 Jan 93

Still feeling somewhat strange. It's as if I'm here, but not all here. Actually, I'm starting to get used to being in this state.

The realizations continue to unfold in my life. I'm examining and observing more than I ever have before. It is not clear what each day will bring, but I've resolved to enjoy it -- whatever it might be. I like this new way of working with the parts of myself. It seems right to operate as the director and guide operating in partnership with the various major parts of myself, trusting them to work in a manner that is in accord with either my direction or our joint highest good. I realize that my direction may not be in line with my own good at times so I'm open to feedback that might show me a clearer path or way of doing things.

I'm basically treating the part of myself that is aware as "I" as a programmer who instructs other parts of myself as to what I want accomplished, fully trusting their ability to carry out assigned tasking in a manner that is effective. They are also free to reject the tasking if the do not see that it is for the highest good of all concerned.

In the area of abundance, I've asked my conscious mind to make me aware of any disempowering beliefs that I may have that are keeping abundance from flowing freely in my life. The key is awareness and the decision to rid myself of any beliefs contradictory to the natural flow of abundance. I know that my conscious mind knows what these beliefs are, and knows best how to remove them. Further, I trust it to do so at the time that is right.

Living in accord with the Plan. Such is what my life is now about. Doing what I came to this planet to do, such is one of the main reasons for my existence. Much of my purpose lies in helping others to become awake and self-aware. My own experience has been my teacher, putting me in a position to be of great service to others in helping them to go through some of the same realizations and spiritual awakenings.

12 Jan 94

Well, what next? The answer that came was to fill out my own questionnaire to get firsthand experience of what it is asking for and how easy/difficult it will be to fill out.

1. What are your strongest abilities? .....a. What things do you do the best? .....b. What things have come most naturally to you?

ABSTRACT THINKING, WRITING, PHILOSOPHY, MATHEMATICS, PHYSICAL COORDINATION.

2. What activities do you enjoy doing the most and why?

.....ABSTRACT THINKING because it has always been extremely fun for me.

.....WRITING because it is creative and I'm good at it.

.....GOLF because it's a challenge and involves an outdoor setting.

3. Identify the five strongest beliefs that you have about yourself.

.....I can do anything I set my mind to.

.....I am consciousness currently occupying a physical body.

.....My true nature is eternal, immortal, universal, and infinite.

.....I am awake, and my self-awareness increases daily.

.....I am in the world, but not of the world.

4. Identify the five strongest beliefs that you have about the world.

.....We create our own reality.

.....The world reflects back to us what we need to see about ourselves.

.....Life is a Play that proceeds in accord with an overall Plan.

.....The world is illusion -- but an engaging one.

.....The United States has a unique destiny among nations.

5. What are the ten quotes that move you the most?

List as many as you have if less than ten.

Also identify why they are important to you.

.....(1) The millions are awake enough for physical labor; but only one in a million is awake enough for effective intellectual exertion, only one in a hundred millions to a poetic or divine life. To be awake is to be alive... We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn. (Thoreau)

This is the battle cry. I feel myself to be one in a million. This is the key staying truly alive. Existence is not enough. We must remain awake to see how glorious life truly is.

.....(2) A simple and independent man does not toil at the bidding of any prince. (Thoreau)

Here, too, Thoreau provides us with marching orders. The goal is to be simple and independent. The only means is to not have to toil at the bidding of another regardless of the loftiness of his station.

.....(3) We create our own reality through our beliefs. (Seth)

On this much of the nature of personal reality is founded. Seth also adds that it is through our conscious beliefs.

.....(4) I call that mind free which jealously guards the intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, which opens itself to light whencesoever it may come, which receives new truth as an angel from heaven, which, whilst consulting others, inquires still more of the oracle within itself, and uses instructions from abroad not to supersede, but to quicken and exalt, it's own energies. (Channing)

Channing expresses great truths about what constitutes a free mind. I fashion myself to be in the process of becoming a free mind and much of how this unfolds is via doing exactly those things that Channing identifies above and in the quote to follow as well.

.....(5) I call that mind free which protects itself against the usurpations of society, which does not cower to human opinion, which feels itself accountable to a higher tribunal than man's, which respects itself too much to be the slave or tool of the many or the few. (Channing)

For a long time, I've felt myself accountable to a higher tribunal than man's. I've known that truth spoke to me through my Heart. In this center was my sense of right and wrong. As to freeing myself from being the slave or tool or the many or the few, this is in line with Thoreau's simple and independent man.

.....(6) To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life. (Stevenson)

Obviously. However, it is up to us to put in the effort to make it so. Many may be capable, but it is via our own efforts that we grow into what we can become.

.....(7) It is easy to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after your own; but the great man is he who, in the midst of the crowd, keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. (Emerson)

One must live by one's own principles and march to the beat of one's own drummer. We are not one of a flock -- but an independent being infused with soul.

.....(8) Great men are they who see that the spiritual is stronger than any material force, that thoughts rule the world. (Emerson)

This expresses a great truth, one that should be a guiding principle for all men who aspire to greatness, which all beings can and should choose to do.

.....(9) I know of no more encouraging fact that the unquestionable ability of a man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of art. (Thoreau)

This gets to the art of conscious reality creation, and it truly is "the highest of art".

.....(10) Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius. (Mozart)

Each of us has genius inside of us. Love is the soul of that genius -- the very key that can unleash its expression in our lives.

6. What ten books have had the most impact in your life?

List titles and identify the category or nature of each book.

.....Which book is number one and why?

Plato's Dialogues [Philosophy]
Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul [Metaphysics]
The Nature of Personal Reality [Metaphysics]
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance [Philosophy]
Jonathan Livingston Seagull [Metaphysics]
Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah [Metaphysics]
Awaken the Giant Within [Metaphysics/Self-Help]
The Aquarian Conspiracy [Metaphysics]
Global Mind Change [Metaphysics]
Unlimited Wealth [Metaphysics]
Life 101 [Metaphysics]
Wealth 101 [Metaphysics]

Number 1 would have to be Seth Speaks. It was the one book that completely blew out the cobwebs and allowed an open framework to be built that all the others could fill. The ideas from Seth Speaks were expansive enough that I have yet to find any boundaries that get in the way of any other constructs or concepts that I have found in my search. Further, I have literally read Seth Speaks 6-10 times. I lost count. No other book has had this level of impact on me. The Nature of Personal Reality comes a close second, but it, too, is from Seth.

7. What is reality to you? Reality is my conscious experience of myself and the world in which much of my experience appears to occur. Reality is primarily an inner experience that happens consciously within my head.

8. How is your reality created? How is external reality created?

I create my own reality through my beliefs. A host of unconscious parts of myself are working to make physical reality match or conform to my beliefs.

9. When was the last time you had a spiritual awakening or self-realization experience?

How did that experience change your understanding and/or experience of reality?

The last major awakening was at the end of Sep 93. Many smaller awakenings have continued during the four months since them.

These experiences have changed nearly everything that I believe about myself and my reality. The bottom line change is that there is nearly always a watcher part of myself that is consciously monitoring all that I am doing and everything that I experience so that it can determine if there is any higher level meaning apparent. I don't know exactly when this watcher became such an integral part of me. I don't remember experiencing it in this way prior to Sep 93. During that month I was seeing a lot of symbolic meaning in my reality, but I don't really remember being an observer watching it happen. I was more aware of being the doer who experienced. Now, my sense is that the watching is more important than the doing. It's as if this part of me woke up sometime between the end of Sep 93 and mid Nov 93. Interesting, I hadn't realized this before. The watcher is another part of my conscious that was asleep nearly all of my life. Actually, it was awake on and off during Sep 93 because of my experiences with the spiritual videotapes.

10. What is your purpose? How did you come to know it?

To convey my Vision for the establishment of a New World Order necessary to carry the world into the Age of Aquarius.

I came to know it through my excitement, intuition, and inner knowing. Parts of which have been confirmed through various psychic sources as well.

11. How would you describe your level of awareness?

I experience being the watcher much of the time. I believe I am awake, but not yet fully awake. Then perhaps we are never fully awake so long as we operate within these physical dimensions of reality.

12. What do you think you need to increase your awareness of your true nature?

To be aware of the signs that come to me. Every part of my reality brings to me information that can prompt me to increased awareness if I pay attention to it and realize what it means for me.

A physical teacher might help as well, though one on an inner level might be just as valuable if not more so, It would be helpful to have a greater understanding of the various states of consciousness that I experience.

13. What questions do you have about the nature of yourself and your reality?

What part am I to do myself vs what parts are taken care of by the Play?

Where does the stuff that passes through my mind originate?

Exactly what does this watcher part of myself consist of? Also, what is it's purpose?

To what extent does free will exist within the Play?

What levels of awareness exist, and how do I reach even higher levels than I'm at?

When does my reign as number 74, The Benefactor, begin?

Well, that's one filled in. Now, does it provide enough to give me a picture of where a person is at and what they need to start doing things to increase their level of awareness? Overall, I think there is enough information to start from, but I need some sort of map of consciousness levels that allows me to translate the information into a place on the map. Perhaps this was the driver for some of my questions. Typically, it doesn't take long for me to go from asking to receiving the answers for questions, especially in the realm of metaphysics. An inner guide would be extremely helpful to convey needed information from my inner self to my conscious mind. I realize that there is already a connection between the conscious mind and inner self, but for some reason it seems important to start allowing other channels as well that are not so filtered by the conscious beliefs. So be it. I now request, welcome, and accept information from any inner sources that can answer my questions about the nature of self and levels of awareness. Further, I long to get to know who you are so that I can incorporate as much of you as possible into my awareness as well.

So, what is next on life's agenda. I've decided to live my life in accord with the Plan, following its dictates wherever they may take me. I now have three books in my stable, per the inputs that were allowed to come through me. I know that the information in these books was meant for a particular audience that I know not. It is up to the Plan to guide me to do whatever I am to do to assist in the process. Presently, I know not to whom or how to get the material out. My finances at present do not permit making many copies much less doing any sort of self- publishing. I am not yet in a condition to play the benefactor, though I sense that I may be soon. I'm ready, willing, and able to take the next step whatever that may be. I know that my path is determined by my part -- and I long to be more fully involved in playing the role that I came to play in helping to usher in a new age of consciousness. It's time for the writing to become more automatic, so the flow can be increased and maintained. Yet, the channel is still conscious sothere is a limit in how much can flow, due simply to constraints of bandwidth.

These notes too are meant to be read by other minds. Once again, I know not whom, nor how, nor when. Interesting. I am meant to bring information through, but it is up to others to distribute the information and pass it on to those who need it. Such is not my concern, it is not part of my job description. Further, it matters not to me in what manner and to how many. This is for the Plan to determine. My part is to make the information physical, and somehow to pass it on to whomever is supposed to take it the next step. Once again, I get the message that my part is to create it and make it manifest in writing. I'll have another part in communicating the message of the Vision verbally to others at a later time. Hmm, it will be interested to watch this unfold as well. I wonder what form this will take.

No new book title comes to mind, and there is no burning desire to write about a particular topic. There is something about living fully in the present, however. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about reality to come. But I haven't fully addressed how to live in the moment -- in the midst of all the apparent problems and difficulties. The fact that they are illusions does not change the nature of their existence in reality now. This is a dichotomy now between the illusion and the true condition. How do we see beyond the illusion in this instant? It appears that we have a choice as to which we will experience, though it may be that we experience both simultaneously. How long will the play continue with my wife without a job? How long will it continue with me in a job that no longer provides me with true satisfaction. My sense is that this is coming to an end soon, but it is the Play that will decide what actions occur and when. I am in the service of All That Is in accord with the Plan. I will play out my role as I am directed learning as much as I can about awareness in the process. One step at a time, one scene, one action. Each step builds upon others, and the result is an intriguing web of consciousness.

I continue to write, yet know not where the words will lead me. I, too, follow a stream of thought that takes me to those places that I need to be, at the proper timing, of course. And you must follow along with me, oblivious to where you are being taken yet trusting that I will lead you, too, to somewhere that you need to go as well. Interesting how we allow ourselves to be led in this manner by an energy that we can't even begin to describe. Interesting, indeed!

I'm anxious to get going, to start doing what needs to be done to usher in the new age. But consciousness says "Slow down and wait here awhile. Find out who you've become before you go out for more." Such wonderful advice it is, for I definitely am not who I was even a few short months ago. Perhaps it is time to sit for awhile, smell the roses, and find out who I am now. Back to the classic directive: BE HERE NOW. This is great advice for all of us.

Overall I am happier than I've been in a long time, that is except for last August and September when I was feeling on top of the world. Also, I'm more productive than I've been in many years, especially from a personal standpoint. My state of awareness is also higher than I've ever experienced. As I think about this, it excites me to know that I am in a position to fully live my life and do so consciously. I don't know that I've ever been anywhere close to this position before in my life. Interesting. I wasn't seeing things from this vantage point even five minutes ago. Interesting indeed. My life is about to become my conscious masterpiece. Literally, the creativity is ready to explode before my very eyes. But it couldn't do so until I stepped back and looked at it all one last time. Here's what 35 years of life hath wrought. Now, in a relative blink of an eye, all of it will be transformed as if by a whirlwind into what Beyond Imagination has allowed to be created. It matters not if the word get out to one or one hundred millions. It matters that the word be spoken to be allowed to do its work in the world. We are one being already, linked through universal mind or cosmic consciousness. In bringing ideas and works through, each of us allows the collective whole to benefit. This is why we don't need ten Gandhi's or five Krishnamurti's or eight Buddha's. One of each is enough to set the pattern and provide the mold. However, consciousness does need such grand vehicles to show what is possible and to provide critical messages to the world at many levels. It is only necessary for one vehicle to express a new great truth. Consciousness will ensure that the truth is captured in a manner to allow it's expression as required by the Plan.

Wow, interesting stuff! So where am I in the great scheme of things? Am I one in a chain of consciousnesses that have come to express great spiritual truths, or am I inflating my ego to much more than I truly am? All I know is that I must operate as whom that I am, to whatever degree that I can. History will tell what I was at some later time. My choice at this moment is to be all that I can be. The Plan will identify what that is as the Play of consciousness unfolds. All I ask is to be able to express the truth as best I know it to all who have ears to hear or eyes to see. Such is all that I can do. My Vision of the New Age is part of that truth. I am but the messenger of consciousness itself relaying whatever it allows me to understand.

My path takes me in a direction that I know not. But, I follow it gladly, knowing that it is taking me on whatever journey is right for the accomplishment of the task that consciousness has given unto me. My journey is one of knowing myself, hopefully to the point of becoming one with Self. My only real tools are my focus of conscious attention and my awareness. My awareness includes those portions of my self of which I am aware. One of these portions is my conscious mind. The part of me that focuses my conscious attention is my ego.

And what great spiritual truths have I come to utter? Perhaps it's still a bit early to express this. But 35 is no spring chicken. After all, Jesus was only 30-33 when his time on center stage occurred. However, the world was a much simpler place in that time. I guess it is time to start highlighting my message to the world. Beyond Imagination provides a lot of ideas, but its almost as if we need a readers digest version to accompany it. Something that could be presented verbally in a half hour or so to a group or even a radio audience. The task is to take the current 100 pages or so and condense it into 3 or 4. What are the major themes, and the major ideas?

BEYOND IMAGINATION

Societal Contract

1. Need a contract between individuals. Currently don't have one.

2. From each according to one's abilities, to each according to one's needs.

Abilities

.....a. Every individual has unique gifts and talents.
.....b. These can always be employed in a manner that benefits society.
.....c. The individual must agree to the responsibility of using abilities to benefit society.

Needs

.....a. Everyone has physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs.
.....b. Society must guarantee that individual needs are met.
.....c. Must distinguish between wants and needs.

Government

1. Novus Ordo Seclorum -- New Order of the Ages.
2. Need to reconsider separation of church and state.
3. Many present problems due to a failure to meet individual needs.
4. Time for a new Constitutional Convention to address government today.

Economy

1. Economy should serve societies needs, not its own.
2. Must provide satisfying work for everybody.
3. Much cooperation, limited competition.
4. Orders of magnitude differences in pay are ridiculous.

Education

1. Must address the specific needs of individuals.
2. Everyone should participate as students and as teachers.
3. This is a lifetime task.
4. Know Thyself is the number 1 task for everyone.

Ecology

1. Stop doing any further damage to the environment.
2. Start righting the sins of the past where we can.
3. Live in a manner that supports not destroy life.

Well, that wasn't so hard. I didn't hit all the chapters, but I wanted a quick thumbnail sketch of the major issues. This covers it pretty well.

This doesn't cover the readers digest presentation of ideas, however. It would be useful to go through Beyond Mind, Beyond Imagination, and Reality Creation and pull out the best ideas from all three books. The idea would be to create a master list of topics that could be covered in weekly classes or seminars. How many of these there should be and how to break them up and package them will be obvious when you do the exercise of reviewing these three books with this in mind. These seminars could possible be done at the Thunderbird, and potentially at the East/West Bookstore in Palo Alto. This is our first recommendation in how to get these ideas out to others who are ripe to hear them. This may also serve your goal of wanting to find your spiritual family. We know of your ideas about life as the Play of consciousness. From that standpoint, what we are telling you now is not something you can act on. However, consciously we want you to understand that we are aware of your constructs and we will try to point out where these may be limiting or in error. At one level, yes life is a Play. But, once you become aware that your beliefs create your reality, the rules of the game change a bit and become more complex. Remember, the purpose is always to allow your reality to mirror your beliefs. As awareness increases, however, a secondary goal is to push your awareness growth as fast as you can handle it. Another fine point is that increased awareness carries increased conscious responsibility for reality creation as well. You are given as much freedom as you show that you are ready to handle responsibly. Part of the test is just how well you are able to operate with the increased freedom. Typically, you are given the freedom in a conditional manner at first to prevent any misuse. Depending on your awareness level, you may or may not be told that the rules of the game have changed. What this should do is arouse your curiosity. As your awareness changes, examine your world to see what new powers of reality creation that you now possess. Don't rely on what has worked in the past and don't expect consciousness to always be feeding you your lines. You're close to reaching the point where the playwright within you is consciously part of you. In fact, you've already issued some directives as if you were that playwright. Notice the writing of this very section. It's as if it is written from a greater inner part of yourself to you. Yet, since you are able to express it in this manner in writing, you are owning up to the playwright being a part of you of which you are aware. Integration is only a short step from this type of awareness. At some point, you will indeed sense that what you consider to be yourself is not "I" but we. You already sense that the watcher is different than the doer. Now we're ready to include the creator as well. Then, we have the full trinity of self, the doer, the watcher, and the creator.

(Are there more parts than this?)

Yes and no. It depends on how you break the self up. You're familiar with perspectives and viewpoints. These definitely exist for something as complex as the self. When you're ready for these, we'll present them in a manner that is appropriate for the context. The playwright is only part of the creator. Just as the Ego, the doer, changes over time; so the watcher and the creator also change over time as self awareness increases. You could say this is a never ending process. The Self is so vast that there is plenty of room for the self awareness to grow. The doer might also be called the experiencer, and the watcher might be called the observer. We create, we experience, and we observe. The only question is how much of this we are aware of simultaneously. Also, we fit within a vaster scheme of things where we are receiving directions from greater creators than ourselves. These too can be observed if we choose to pay attention to where our inner information is coming from. Overall, there is a vast cooperative effort in which consciousnesses are co-creating. From another perspective, these consciousnesses too are separations of one larger consciousness. The boundaries are somewhat arbitrary just as they are for an individual. Breaking or changing the boundaries is simply a matter of shifting awareness.

(What is my next step?)

Create the means for you to be a simple and independent man. You are no longer to toil at the bidding of any prince. However, it's up to you to as you say "make it so". How's that for an answer? Maybe it's not exactly what you wanted to hear, but it's what you got.

We'd suggest that the simplest way is to realize the playwright in you. As soon as you can do that, the outer reality will be a piece of cake. The playwright part of you will be able to assist in restructuring beliefs that are currently getting it the way of moving you into a role that more effectively allows the greater purpose to be manifest. What you need is for the playwright to work more directly with the conscious mind, as the observer is starting to do. The other alternative is for the observer to work with the playwright. Your observer is the one who is watching what is happening from a standpoint of wanting to understand how it works and what it means. Your experiencer is also interested in knowing the net impact on what is to be experienced. Don't let it get too complicated. Things work best when the parts operate in a united, cooperative, interdependent manner. Don't fight it. This is the natural mode for consciousness. It only becomes a problem if you make it one. After that, it's time to get your message out to those in need of hearing it. Your ideas on providing spiritual services related to levels of awareness and awakenings are right on as well. This is an area that is sorely lacking that will require much attention very soon.

13 Jan 93

Hospitals for the mind and spirit: belief discovery and modification, birthing of parts of the self, spiritual awakenings and other shocks to awareness, unwanted belief removal and replacement, integration of the self into one whole being, altered vision, and destiny mapping. Another topic is physical manifestations of spiritual experiences but Jack Kornfield already addresses much more of this than I know about. Interesting point. What do I know about? It is more than I have experienced or read in this existence. Inner self, feel free to bring through anything that I am ready to understand. Your experience and knowledge of something is sufficient to give me good reason to believe it. I'm not sure that I trust you completely enough to forego any discernment on my part, but my predisposition will be to trust what you have to say. My experience thus far has been that my inner self can be trusted so long as I don't get in my own way with contradictory beliefs. Interesting. I just had this thought about opening Pandora's Box. We'll see where reality takes us in the next part of the journey. I'm looking forward to it. Hmm. This could make for the contents of another book. One that addresses current shortfalls and identifies the kinds of services that are needed but are not necessarily available at this time. The only way to truly know if I'm ready to write a book on this is to get started and see where it leads. A little levity would be nice for a change. I still have a tendency to be too serious about the things that I write about. Enough said on that, just keep it light.

Everywhere I turn, there seem to be more and more parts of myself waiting to be recognized and made a part of my conscious awareness. This has become something of a fulltime job. To some degree, it is for everyone, even if they aren't aware of it. Such is what consciousness does, it recognizes the higher unity that lies below and above the present diversity. It doesn't matter where we look -- if we only have eyes to see, we'll find incredible cooperation and unity.

---

Why am I experiencing symptoms of illness or lack of correct functioning within various body systems -- in particular with sinus and digestive systems?

It's simple. Because you do not recognize the spirituality inherent in your body. It is not a machine, it is living spirit expressing through a vast enterprise of cooperation. It is not something to tolerate while you focus your attention on other "more spiritual" aspects of yourself. Recognize that it to is a part of you that longs to be incorporated into your full beingness just as any other. Make it your ally and your friend, and all of your troubles will fall away. Your body knows how to maintain itself in perfect health. It is your beliefs that provide the instructions that direct it to operate at state of health that is less than optimum.

Conscious mind: find the beliefs that are resulting in this state of health and bring them to my attention so that we can be rid of them and start to operate from a greater state of health. It only makes sense that the whole prospers and is more productive when the temple of the body is in its most glorious state as well. Body: I respect your innate wisdom regarding how best to manifest this vehicle for the expression of spirit. I realize now that the vehicle is part of the expression of spirit.

The body is literally the spirit in flesh. All the other components could not exist without this spiritual foundation. Let me know what you need, no, what we need to correct any current problems and to prevent future ones. If you are being giving directions that are not in our overall best interest, let me know so that I can take action to remedy the situation. Thank you for doing such a wonderful job in maintaining overall health throughout the years. I look forward to our continuing joint creation of physical reality, and I bow to your wisdom in this area. Let's work together to make this temple the best we can for allowing spirit to be enfleshed. Your role is a critical one, for the physical body is the foundation of it all. Personally, I would prefer not to work the details. Please work closely with the conscious mind to adopt a belief system that is conducive to optimum health yet is in line with the style of life that I need to live to facilitate the accomplishment of our mission in this existence. Thank you for your cooperation. Now that we are mutually aware of one another, I trust that we can work together.

Interesting how this process works. It appears that mutual conversations will be occurring regularly with parts of myself. I'm not used to communication in the manner, but it is useful for an Aries type who loves to lead and begin things but whom is not interested in the details and carrying things through to completion. The concept of delegation jumps out. Find the right person, or part or consciousness to do the job at hand and then give then the responsibility to get it done. This works so long as the directions for the job are clear. One can also delegate areas of responsibility, trusting that whoever is in charge will be able to determine the best course of action in line with whatever higher level objectives might exist. I'm still learning who the primary players are, and what cooperative interdependence really means for the self. It's very fascinating stuff, however, and somebody has to realize it and document it for others.

---

Here and now in the land of make-believe. That phrase has been in my head for nearly fifteen minutes waiting for me to write it down. I believe it's the title for a new age childrens story -- the first in the Foozie the Fuzzy Filosopher series. Actually, it may be for adult children in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, ... This provides a wonderful medium for illustrating basic principles outside of the real world or serious context. Also, I could work with Gini on this. She could do the graphics, illustrations and perhaps some of the fill dialog. I'd focus on the overall theme and the metaphysical part of the dialog.

The basic principal of the first story is that:

(1) We are always Here and Now, and this is the land of make-believe.

(2) There is no other place and it is a very fun place to be indeed.

(3) In the land of make-believe things happen as we believe, that is, provided we believe hard enough. If we want bones and hot dogs and chew toys and friendly people to walk us and play with us, all we have to do is imagine them and believe.

(4) All these things and more will be ours in no time.

However, we have to watch out for the dreaded conflicting beliefs for they create havoc in our lives, such that we never know just what's going to happen.

We create our own reality, and we do it through our beliefs.

Foozie is a furry old samoyed, wise even beyond her years, which are many. She's taken a liking to philosophizing about life and all those things that make the world go round. She enjoys her esteemed position within the animal community, though she wonders how those dadburned humans ever got to thinking they were more evolved than samoyeds and other furry critters. After all those humans didn't even have the sense to give themselves a permanent set of warm clothes, something every furry critter knows is an absolute requirement for intelligent folks.

Besides, the humans don't take care of their needs very well, having to work so hard just to get their needs met. It's so much better to train others to care for you and meet your every need. Then life can be lived the way it was meant to be, without a care in the world. Between playing, sleeping, eating, exercise, and rides -- oh, what a wonderful life; there is plenty of time for hobbies such as philosophy to occupy one's mind and spirit. Yes, it's a wonderful life, indeed.

Foofer is a young mature samoyed, not one to defer to anyone or anything. She knows that she is the boss in her own home and has achieved nearly complete dominion over the humans that she allows to care for her. She has trained them so well in fact that they even feed her by hand.

Foofer respects Foozie's wisdom and goes to her occasionally for advice on how to make her life even better. Over the years she has found Foozie's advice to be quite helpful, even if it does strike one as being a bit odd at first; especially all this stuff about reality creation and the like. Yeah, she's a funny old bird indeed. But, the depth of her eyes, clouded as they are, reach into one's very soul. There's something magic in there. Yes, that's it, something magic.

One day, when Foofer's humans had been particularly negligent in their duties, Foofer flies into a rage, terrorizes a few cats she finds under cars in her neighborhood, finds a few good sniffs to settle her state a bit and decides she's had enough -- so she wanders up the path through the woods to Foozie's stately mansion.

As usual, Foozie is laying in the sun, contemplating the nature of life, with all the necessities of existence surrounding her. Further, she has an audience of furry students there anxiously awaiting her every word.

"You see, we live in a world of make-believe. We always have and always will. And, what a glorious world it is" said Foozie.

"You must be joking. My world's not glorious, in fact I'd call it dismal" replied a little fox terrier.

"My world too," replied a mixed breed that had not had a bath in ages.

"Mines not so bad", said Foofer, "though the humans are a bit forgetful at times".

"Ah, but why is it that you do not see the world in the same way that I do" asked Foozie, not expecting an answer of course as is the way of many philosophers.

Foozie continued: "You understand that we truly live in a land of make-believe. Really, this is the main operating principle behind everything that any of us experience. A host of elves exist that love to make whatever we believe come true. Each of us have special elves assigned to specifically look after our needs."

"That's all very well and good", said Foofer, "but what beliefs allow my humans to neglect their assigned duties related to me?"

Foozie responded, "it's all in what you believe and in how consistent your beliefs are. For instance do you truly believe that humans exist to meet your needs, or do they do so out of their love and sense of responsibility for you?"

"Well of course they exist solely to meet my needs. Then again, maybe this is only part of their function. After all, they do engage in activities outside of their attention to me. Oh, but this is just too much to think about. It's time to play and have some fun," said Foofer.

"Now now, we're not going to let you out of that one so easily" laughed Foozie. "I know it's a bit much to ask a young samoyed to think about. After all, play is what life is all about now, isn't it. But, rather than play our normal games, let's play a bit with our beliefs and see if we can get those human's of ours to treat us with the full respect that all furry creatures deserve. After all, we are higher up on the evolutionary chain."

---

Interesting, we'll have to see how far the story goes. If Gini likes it, this is just one more avenue for expressing myself creatively. I'd never really thought about doing fiction before.

But something like this might work. Though it seems that a bit more action might be in order. Maybe there's a way to put some of it into the game that's about to begin. After all this is imagination, so we could have the elves work quickly especially since this is make-believe land. Hmm. That could provide for some interesting graphics.

OK, what kinds of things can we work with:

a. nearly suffocating in a mountain of bones. b. three baths a day for a week. c. walks until Foofer is too weary to walk anymore. d. so much attention that there is no time to sleep. e. a family of additional furry ones to contend with. f. overbearing humans that impose too much discipline. g. abusive humans. h. an army of cats attacking and terrorizing Foofer.

14 Jan 94

I had an interesting talk with Gini yesterday concerning plans for the future. She is in a situation of deciding how she will earn a living and wanted to know what constraints to work within.

She's lost all faith in the runes or cards to show her what to do. Interesting. This is at a time when my faith in the information received from oracles is increasing since I believe it comes from the inner self, and that the inner self is always attempting to be as helpful as possible to us. The key to this working comes in our ability to see and understand the meaning of the information. This is not always obvious. Further, it appears to be something we must do for ourselves. At least, that is what I've experienced thus far. It's easy now to see the meaning of the signs that I am given. It has not been so easy for me to read this information for others. The key factor in this is that the symbols have a meaning that my mind comprehends.

The meaning is not necessarily contained in the words, but the words provide a sufficient key to unlock an understanding in me. Most others do not appear to get this insight when they read the words or see the picture or symbols.

I've reached a state where I firmly believe, no, I know, that there is a Play unfolding in accord with a Plan that consciousness has written. We are experience the final acts and scenes of the Piscean Age that lead to the birth of the Age of Aquarius. Overall, my sense is that this will unfold in a major way in the next 4-5 years and that I have a particular role to play in helping to awaken consciousness. It is up to the Play as to when this role begins and how it will be played out. I have subjected my will to Divine Will. I choose to go where it takes me and do what it asks of me. To the best of my abilities, I will use my will, talents, and energies to accomplish whatever tasks that consciousness assigns to me.

Because of this, I do not know where I will be or what I will be doing in the future. My sense is that consciousness exploration will be my occupation and I will not be working for anyone other than All That Is. The timing will happen when the conditions are right, and I do not know what these conditions will be. The location too will be determined by consciousness. I believe this to be in Colorado, based on previous intuition, but I know that consciousness will move me to wherever it is that is optimal for accomplishing my mission. Wherever this is, it will be perfect, and I will enjoy it immensely. As for now, I do as I am moved to do, creating whatever I am moved to create -- trusting that the Will which moves me knows best where to lead me. I'm riding on an ocean of energy of which I'm aware of but a small part. The ocean will take me wherever it wants to take me. Here and Now, I am to go with the flow and enjoy the ride as much as I can. I can also take up surfing, if I so choose.

I've been thinking a bit about my personal motivation in all of this. My excitement comes from the incredible challenge of figuring out what is necessary to allow spirit to be more fully enfleshed in myself and in the community at large. I've known all along that metaphysics was the branch of knowledge that dealt with this subject. And metaphysics has always been one of the greatest loves of my life -- at least since my sixteenth year. Yes, it would be nice to have money, and to have my name known, but these provide no real glory. The true glory comes from spirit, and from unlocking the doors that allow others to manifest a greater amount of spirit in their lives. I came to be part of birthing a new age of consciousness. All else is secondary at this time in my life. Actually, this has been true for many years with me. Hmm, no wonder I haven't developed much in the way of personal relationships. People must recognize that I am only partially there for any relationship because so much of me is devoted to a higher pursuit. At least, I see the pursuit as higher, others may not see it that way at all. Questions of ego arise as well. How much of what I do is for the glorification of my own ego? I clearly appear to place myself above others, but only from a standpoint of awareness. It's like a professional basketball player placing himself above other non-professionals. They play the same game, but the level of play is far superior. My forte is in understanding ideas, in particular great ideas and metaphysically related ones. I was born with unique gifts and talents for this and I've spent over 20 years developing my skills and actively working on enhancing my awareness. In fact, this has been the primary consumer of my free time. Of course my level of awareness would be beyond most others. You get what you focus your energies and attention on. However, my state is one that anyone can reach. Part of my purpose is to develop the techniques that make it easy for others to reach higher states of consciousness so that they can use the enhanced awareness to improve whatever they may be doing. I'm a consciousness explorer so my world is one that is naturally organized around the nature of consciousness and the barriers, paths, and other landscape between states of mind. Increased consciousness benefits everyone, however, because all creative expression is impacted by the level of awareness -- and hence the level of spirit that is allowed to be expressed.

Yes, I have a big ego. That comes with the Aries nature. It's part of who I am in this existence. But, who I am is what I needed to be for the role I came to play. There are no accidents. Consciousness works behind the scenes to support and guide all expression of spirit in flesh. Everything is accounted for and perfectly designed for this incredible play to unfold. I'm also aware that there may be some point at which overcoming the challenge of my birth energies may become an important part of my learning. I trust that I will become aware of when this is so, should it be necessary. When I look at my possessions, nearly everything that I have could be taken away -- my house, my furniture, my car, my clothes, my pets. And with the exception of beloved pets, they could be replaced. The only things that I have that are not subject to this are those inside my mind -- the knowledge I have gained and the level of awareness I have reached. These are achievements and experiences that are safe within me. Further, these are the only achievements of lasting value, they are literally forever, transcending even death. Because of this alone, they are most deserving of our energy, focus, and attention as well.

The body state appears to be changing but is clearly not yet rid of some symptoms of disease. One of the things I want to learn is what kind of timing to expect for what kinds of actions. Because of the denseness of physical matter there is a noticeable time delay from the time a directive is issued or a new belief is accepted until the improvements or changes appear in flesh. It would be useful to understand what things determine this, and if there are any actions that can be taken to speed the process up. I'm anxious about this in the area of creation of abundance as well. One side of my says to be like the flower, doing what I do best and pointing my face towards the spirit or sun -- trusting that all that I need will be provided for. Another part of me says that being created in the image of the creator, I've been entrusted with taking actions that assist in providing for my needs. It's all still quite confusing, but each day it is becoming clearer and clearer. I'm learning great lessons from many parts of myself, especially the inner parts since the appear to be most aware of the details. As an Aries, I'm not too interested in the details. I'd rather boldly ram my head forward into new territory. I only want to know what my conscious self needs to be aware of in order for me to create abundance in my life, especially in those areas that pertain to maximizing my ability to accomplish my mission. For instance, I know my destiny is to be the Benefactor. My wish is to reach this destiny as soon as possible because I see the great enabling power that comes with it. I don't feel that it is up to me to decide how the wealth will be manifest. The direction I receive says that my attention is to stay focused on the spiritual work that I am doing, allowing consciousness to take my seeds, plant them, and nurture them to their rightful glory and ripeness. So, where does my responsibility for things begin and end? The answer that comes is that it depends on one's state of conscious awareness. The more aware one is, the more the creator self comes under direct conscious control. But it is important to still receive inner guidance so that the conscious creation of reality is in line with the Plan. Not my will but Thine be done.

Yes, we create the play when we have this level of awareness. However, we also know that we do it cooperatively not individually. Without cooperation, everything crumbles -- and consciousness remains asleep, unaware of its true nature. Our inner self already knows this. It already operates completely through cooperation. Further it already has the connections to source, or consciousness, or All That Is that provide it with its mission, directions, and higher level operating constraints. Consciously I am not connected into much of this structure. My level of awareness provides information pathways and a map of my understanding of the nature of myself. With each part that gets encompassed in self-awareness, consciousness is able to express more fully through the flesh. Of course, that is, provided that the belief systems keep up and allow the spirit to fully utilize the capabilities of the level of awareness that is achieved. It is as if there are two levels of breakthrough. One is a knowledge of. The second is a wisdom to use responsibly. Many people experience the first type of breakthrough. Few have been able to realize the second, which is essential to allow for the spirit to become enfleshed.

17 Jan 94

It's been a strange day. The 6.6 Earthquake at 4:31 am in Los Angeles was major news. The timing and nature of these types of mass events are extremely significant. I was surprised that as late as 10:00 am, they estimated that power was off to 90% of Los Angeles. At 5:00 pm they were still talking about power off to over 650,000 residences. That's residences, not people.

I also realized that the Uranus and Neptune square Natal Sun energies that hit me so hard last year are still affecting me. They're not nearly as strong, but both will still have an impact on me for much of 1994. Neptune is within 3-5 degrees all year. Uranus is a degree or so further out so it is only really active through early Feb and from Aug to Nov. The closest it gets to square is about 3 degrees, however, vs being within minutes for many days this year.

Uranus and Neptune are conjunct only for the period from 1990 - 1995 or so. This is not a common occurrence so this is a very special time. Aries and Libra are being hit with hard squares. Cancer is being hit with a hard opposition. Taurus and Virgo are being hit with trines. Capricorns get a big conjunction. Folks born on the 8th to 10th or so were hit particularly hard but it was felt in a big way for anyone from about the 4th through the 14th.

These energies play themselves out in an interesting manner over the next several years. Uranus finally enters Aquarius for the first time in Apr 95, retrogrades back into Capricorn in Jun 95, then enters Aquarius for good in Jan 96. It remains there six years.

Neptune follows about two years later entering Aquarius in Jan 98 for a short while, retrograding back to Capricorn, then pushing through again in Nov 98. This could be the marker for the Age of Aquarius to begin as Neptune will have completed a roughly 168 year cycle that began in the 1820s-1830s. If we consider that Neptune has set the time for the Piscean Age. There will have been 12 cycles of 168 years = 2016 years in our present Piscean Era. If this started with Aquarius as well, Jesus would have been born during the time when Neptune was in Pisces its native sign. Interesting, how these events are timed. Interesting indeed.

Pluto entered Scorpio, it native sign in 1984. Interesting that George Orwell predicted such a dire future in his book 1984. Astrologers don't really know what to do with Pluto, since its existence was not known until this century. There hasn't been enough time to observe correspondences between Pluto and people's behavior, or the countries or world's behavior.

AQUARIUS = 18319931 = 35/8. That is my birth number as well. But note also, 1831 and 1993 embedded clearly in the numbers. 1993 was last year, the year in which the conjunction between Neptune and Uranus occurred. It was also my 35th year. 1831 would have been during the time when transcendentalism was in full flower, when Emerson and Thoreau were spewing their sweet words unto the world. The fact that both of these years are embedded in the word Aquarius is more than a coincidence. It's as if everywhere that I look the symbols unwrap a divine meaning that is glorious to behold. How intricately woven this fabric of life!

In a similar vein, URANUS = 391531 = 12|10 = 22: The Hanged Man, The Wheel of Fortune, and The Completed Fool. All of which are appropriate for completing The World so that it can be prepared to enter the Aquarian Age. Also, 22 is the Master Carpenter (That was a bit of a slip but an appropriate one. After all, Jesus was the Master Carpenter). I meant to say Master Builder, but what came out was right after all. This also happens to be my Heart's Desire.

One additional note. On 28 Jan 94, Saturn goes into Pisces to begin what should be a spiritual cycle that lasts 2.5 years. I suspect that this also marks the beginning of the march to Armageddon. We might expect the Anti-Christ to appear on the scene very soon. The forces of light will have about 2.5 years to build. These forces of Light can truly be unleashed when Saturn transitions through the Sign of the Ram. By the end of 1998, it should all be completed, the Age of Aquarius should be born at last. The dawning is truly upon us. The dawn will be here before we know it. Yet, there is still much to do. We march onward to fulfill a destiny that consciousness laid out long ago. But, it was only a plan. We had to live it in flesh to truly make it real. The joy I feel inside is overwhelming. We truly did it. We created the proper stuff to make our dream so. At this point, the outcome is a certainty. There are a few details to be played out, but because we got someone able to write these words and realize them as he wrote them, we know that we have already succeeded. Now, it's a matter of how many can be brought to this realization so that they can have the eyes to see and ears to hear the glorious arrival of the Dawn of the Age of Aquarius.

How wonderful these deep surges of feeling that flow throughout my entire body in rhythmic waves. How incredible this state of bliss. To know for certain that this experiment of 2000 plus years has been such a success. How wonderful it truly is. Thanks to all those who have gone before me, that I could step upon your shoulders and see just a little further. I too in my turn will provide a shoulder upon which others can step as well. Oh, it's time for a VISION to be born. Beyond Imagination will indeed find its audience. But, Beyond Imagination is all that is done to bring forth this New Age in the times ahead. For it is a part of consciousness. As such, it cannot belong to any one individual.

WOW! What more can I say. WOW! So let it be written, so let it be done! NAMASTE.

18 Jan 94

The 12-16 year span of heavy Neptune in Capricorn energy is just about over. One final span of Neptune in Aquarius should mark the closing scene of the Piscean Age and the transfer of power to Aquarius and its ruler Saturn. This puts the timing in the 2010 to 2016 range. Interesting, because my birthday will occur on Easter in 2005 and 2011. I remember calculating this when I was a kid in high school. I knew it was to have some sort of significance. I also remember that these were the only two time this would happen in several centuries. Looking at the calendar now, I believe my calculations were in error. The year 2000 will not be a leap year since it is a century year divisible by 400. This puts the calculation one day off beginning in the year 2000.

So my birthday won't even be on Sunday in those two years, it will be on Saturday. Interesting, very interesting indeed. There is something arbitrary about a rule that has an exception specifically for particular century years. It seems quite odd. However the length of a true day is such that our calendars are only approximate. I believe the number of days in a year is 365.2422. By adding a leap year every four years we approximate it to 365.25. By dropping 1 out of every 100 leap years, we reduce this to 365.2475. This doesn't seem quite right. The logic should get closer than this. Maybe the rule is Leap year comes every fourth year, except for century years which are not divisible by 400. That would result in 365.2425 days per year averaged over 400 years. The .0003 Error would take 2000 years to get even half a day off! Maybe my calculations years ago were right after all.

Capricorn has provided the "I Use" phase of this cycle of the Piscean Age which revolves around "I Believe". Aquarius takes this the next step to "I Know". It will be interesting to watch this energy come alive in the next decade or so. In the Piscean Age this is expressed as "I know that I believe" or "I believe that I know." In the Aquarian Age this changes to "I know that I know". This is the hallmark of enlightenment, is it not. To be aware that one knows.

There is a lot of life to be lived in the next 4-5 years, and in the immediate 14 or so years after that. The play still has many scenes to be staged and played out. The basic destiny is now certain, but many will be impacted by how the specifics unfold. Not to worry, however, they are the one's choosing/designing the specifics of their roles. Remember, we create our own reality. Every last aspect of it. And, we do everything for our own ultimate good. Learning may be hard at times, but we must learn to grow, and we must grow to allow spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh. Have compassion for those who are undergoing hardship, but know, too, that they are doing as they must, just as you are.

Just read the meanings for the temporary vibrations of 36, 37, and 38 in Numerology and the Divine Triangle. I'm simply amazed at how applicable it is to my life. It's as if the book was written about me or directly for me. The answer from within is that it was, but for the consciousness that is within each of us.

Depending on people's level of awareness, they will be able to see this or not. The book hasn't had a wide audience, however, so few are prepared for the wonderful messages that it contains. It truly is a wealth of first class information. One thing this demonstrates is that it is not hard to hide information from those who are ignorant or who are asleep. They just don't see it even if it's right before their eyes. Overall, I'm excited about life and I look forward to each day. However, I'm also anxious to get on with the next phase of my life and start truly doing what I came to the planet to do. My writings are a start, but I sense that I'm supposed to play a part in getting them out as well. Please guide me as to what to do next. I know that you always do, but it felt right to ask and acknowledge you for all that you have done throughout my life. Thank you very much. Yes, you're right, it's always been a cooperative effort. Though, until recently, I was not aware of just how cooperative it was.

Today was a very sleepy one. I never really woke up all day in fact. I don't know what caused the feeling to be so sluggish. Further, I don't remember having such a day before. It's as if I'm sleeping with my eyes open. It's a really strange feeling. Also, except for a few lapses, I've been fully conscious of the energy and even allowed myself to go with the flow a few times. I couldn't really work, but neither could I write. Very weird state indeed. I wonder what energy is causing it or at least supporting it. The sun moves into Aquarius tomorrow. I'm looking forward to feeling what that energy will be like now that the Age of Aquarius is so close. It's important to start recognizing the feeling of energies. At some point in the not too distant future, being able to read and go with the flow may be essential to survival itself.

19 Jan 94

Found some very interesting symbolic information on both sides on a one dollar bill. I knew about the symbology related to the pyramid part of the Great Seal -- at least some of it. What I didn't know was that numbers were encoded in all of the finer detail as well, including such things as the combinations of number of leaves and berries on vines. My own investigation found the numbers 13, 20, 22, 220, 222, 23, 25, and 35 in particular to be relatively prominent.

As an example of the meaning that I found in this, if we add 220 to 1776 we get 1996, which happens to be the year that Uranus goes into Aquarius to start the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. Adding 222 to 1776 we get 1998, the year that Neptune goes into Aquarius possible to signify the actual dawn of the new age. I know these events are important, but I'm not sure as to exactly what the significance is yet. By the way, 20 is Judgement in the Tarot. It may also mark the end times as predicted in Revelation. This may give us some insight as to when this time will come. By my reading of things, the battle of Light and Dark is already upon us, and it will last around 5 years. During the first 2.5 years, the forces of Light must build their strength against the forces of Darkness. The battlefield is the earth. The battle will be won by the forces of Light, of course, for this is required to allow the Aquarian Age to begin on the right foot so to speak. This doesn't mean that no action is required. It is up to the forces of Light to wage the Battle of Right. Darkness is spread across the land. One by one, the awakened ones will have to share their Light with others so that these too can be awakened. It is time to turn this country into a land of ashes, that the PHOENIX may arise out of the ashes in the form of new bodies able to hold a much greater frequency of spirit. This indeed will be. It has been foretold for many thousands of years. In America, we have inherited the spiritual mantle. We are obligated to create the New Order for the Ages. The Great Seal that has never been a seal, the one with the unfinished pyramid will become the spiritual seal of the land. This can only happen if we reverse the decision to separate church from state. Actually, maybe what we need to do is separate spirituality from the church and religion. The new spirituality needs to focus on how we provide the environment that allows spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh. We are in the process of building the pyramid, individually for each person, as a country, and as a world. This is what we've been doing for the last 220 years plus, and overall, for nearly 2000 years -- maybe for 24,000 years or even longer. It's been a grand undertaking that all of us have participated in whether we were aware of it or not.

Had an interesting talk with Paul today. He noticed that I was particularly concerned about making the finances work. Yet, he knew from my writings that money didn't have any real value to me. This was definitely a conflict of belief in action. Also, I brought up the idea that we are to live as the flowers do, doing what comes naturally in exchange for all that they need. We were also talking about the doer, watcher, creator triad of self. There may be other minor players, but these appear to be the big three. The easy spiritual path is from doer to watcher to creator, that is, if any can be called easy. Some choose to go from doer to physical creator to watcher to spiritual creator. It is much harder to make it from false creator to watcher than from watcher to creator however. Remember the saying about the rich man going through the eye of the camel. It appears that it is difficult enough just awakening to realize the watcher within.

Tony Robbins deals with awakening the doer to become the physical creator, though he does it from a sincere and loving space. In the long run, it doesn't matter. Each person's path will be exactly what is right for that individual. Why? Because it is written by their spiritual creator self.

In my own case, what I realized was that my focus must be on awareness, period. I am not to be concerned with how things unfold. I'm to clean up my belief system as much as possible and integrate my doer, watcher, and creator parts of myself together.

When I've realized that I truly am the spiritual creator -- then and only then will I be ready for more. Whether my writings get out and published or not is up to the creator self. Exactly how this unfolds will be in accord with the Plan and with the levels of awareness that I reach. We have thoughts, we have conscious beliefs, and we have awareness or knowingness. This truth about the spiritual creator being part of me just went from a thought to a belief. As a belief, it is up to me to now act in accord for that is where the spiritual creator gets its assessment as to what I am most in need of. I still need to check to make sure I don't have any conflicting beliefs. I'm still a bit gun shy about taking on beliefs about the nature of reality creation. In this case, however, it's worth the risk to go for it. I haven't had any good ideas about how I might take charge of this myself. Actually, I have, but they haven't been good enough to truly act upon. Also, I have this firm belief that spirit comes up with the most elegant and beautiful of ways to accomplish what is needed. I've come far enough on the path to know that it is spirit that leads. It is but for me to follow and joyously do those tasks that I am given.

Again, the key to everything is awareness, knowing whom that we are, the I AM. It is up to us to awaken and develop this state of awareness however. This is an individual task for those who have been the explorers of consciousness, but it is time to start developing the spiritual technology and education system necessary to awaken the masses. The time has come for us prepare the world to enter a glorious new age. Consciousness has learned enough to make it so, the experiment has succeeded. All that is left is the final few steps. Each that awakens will become aware of their true role and will be guided to where they are needed.

20 Jan 94

I feel great, absolutely wonderful. There is an energy inside me that is about to explode once again. Something changed in a major way in the past several hours. I feel that there is a great deal that is meant to be expressed, now. It's as if a huge door or window has opened up into a glorious place, a place that I have never been before. Interesting, very interesting. I've known this door was there for a very long time, but I was afraid to knock. Now that I've knocked, it has been opened and the energy that comes through to me and to the world is wonderful. I feel relaxed and free, yet energized and focused at the same time. Just experiencing this feeling is soothing to the soul and healing to the bodies. What a wonderful world this truly is, wonderful indeed. The sense is almost one of ecstasy, but in a peaceful sort of way. Bliss is another word to describe it. These are not words that I regularly use. But then, this has not been a state that I remember ever experiencing before. It's as if there is a chill inside my head radiating out to the rest of my body. I feel complete, and whole -- ONE. Another emanation of vibration comes from the center of my heart as well. It has a warmer temperature associated with it. All that I can conclude is that some major breakthrough has occurred. I'm seeing the world through new eyes and I'm liking all that I see. Everything is as it should be. There is an incredible harmony and balance in the world despite appearances to the contrary.

Wow. The powerful sensations remain. Further, they are definitely feeling tones. My sense is that they are whom that I am. If so, it feels great to be me. I only wish that everyone could feel this first hand. I know they will, eventually. It's great to be alive, and to be physically alive. This sensation is focused in the body, not centered in something more abstract that might move the mind. This is physical reality at its finest; and it is here and now in this very place that I find myself in this moment. Yet, it also lingers through time to form a physical experience in this world. WOW! It is amazing to feel this incredible. Life is sacred and special. Yes, physical life -- p h y s i c a l l i f e. I definitely haven't felt like this before -- then again, there was one other time that was close but it involved being intimate for the first time with another kindred spirit. Also, that sensation was wrapped up in the sacredness of union. Here, the union is one of self with Self. This is a whole new type of union for me. Now, the energy rocks and flows up and down and from side to side inside of me -- my body. It plays and laughs as it sees my reaction to its unending expression of joy. NOW, we are finally spirit enfleshed. It's been a journey of 35 years, but we have achieved a major milestone. Yes, spirit enfleshed, we truly did it. It is difficult to stay focussed enough to write this. I want to fully experience the ethereal tides that move inside of me. I know that they hold the energies that will carry me through my journey to fulfill my purpose and destiny. Another major wave just rolled out from my head. This was matched by a outswelling of my heart. Love and Light, or Light and Love. This is the key. It is what spirit is all about, allowing the energies of Love and Light to flow within and through us. I've found that slowing my breadth allows more of this energy to flow. That appears to be one part of how we take it in, through our very breadth. You are witnessing the results of an experiment in consciousness, with the experiencer in the midst of an altered state of consciousness, one that the being had never experienced before. Yet, there was no fear, or sense of loss of any type. Rather the experience is unifying and ecstatic, yet still calm and peaceful.

There is a sense of being tapped into an Ocean of Love and Light.

Yes, an ocean that is immense -- perhaps without bounds. The experience is pure pleasure, however, to all parts of the self. The question arises as to how to transfer part of this experience to others. The answer is simple, allow the Love to flow unconditional to others. The other method is to help others reach the state of being spirit enfleshed. All who experience the union of self with Self, will experience the flow of the etheric tides of the Ocean of Love and Light. This is one of the rewards for self work. Knowing thyself unlocks all doors and removes all obstacles.

The experience has subsided somewhat, though the energies continue to flow and fill my head. It's as if they are coming down through the crown chakra and rushing forth into my entire head, down into my heart, solar plexus, loins, base of spine, down through my legs to the balls of my feet and through my toes.

There is another branch that goes from the neck out through each shoulder down though each arm into the hands and palms then out through my fingers. I literally feel the energy in every part of myself. Further that energy is flowing somewhat steadily, without any sense of restriction or blockage. I truly feel whole, connected, and tuned into source. There is a new type or level of energy that is now running through my body. I sense that the pathways were not open for this energy to run in this manner before. Within the past few hours there was a major change in my awareness, there is no doubt about it. I wonder if astrology could pinpoint the moment of the change. My initial sense is yes. I'll find out more about this from Ron this weekend. I feel as if: "You can do magic. You can do anything your heart desires. Magic." as the popular song says. I'm truly a magician. I create my own reality! Hmm, I've never been in a position to state this as a truth with such conviction. But, it is true, now.

My sense is that my role in life has just changed dramatically. Yes, it has changed before, but never like this. This energy within me is not meant to stay within me. It's meant to help others in many ways and on a massive scale. One could say that my date with destiny has arrived, and that I met the initial qualifications required for my new position. Wow! The energy still surges inside. This has to do with yesterday's Tarot reading as well.

One of Emerson's quotes comes to mind:

It is a secret which every intellectual man learns, that beyond the energy of his possessed and conscious intellect he is capable of a new energy ... by abandonment to the nature of things; that besides his privacy of power as an individual, there is a great public power on which he can draw by unlocking, at all risks, and suffering the ethereal tides to roll and circulate through him; then he is caught up into the life of the Universe.

I'd read this several times before. Now, I know what it means. I've experienced some part of the ethereal tides which can roll and circulate within us -- first hand. This is no longer an intellectual understanding for me, it is now a physical understanding.

This is one specific example of what I mean when I speak of awakenings and awareness shifts. They are rooted in these kinds of experiences where a new realization is achieved by direct experience. As one proceeds along one's personal path to enlightenment, these types of experiences may increase in frequency and possibly severity as well.

Oh, to be caught up into the life of the Universe. What a wonderful way of living. Let the ethereal tides roll through me evermore so that I may successfully accomplish those tasks in accord with my universal purpose and mission. My role is that of dedicated and faithful servant to All That Is, consciousness itself.

21 Jan 94

I don't know how to top yesterday's experience. Those ethereal tides are something so wonderful that there is not much that surpasses them. Even the remembrance of them brings on a state of bliss. Maybe remembering is the key to retrieving the experience once again. Hmm, there is something about that phrase -- retrieving the experience. Everything that we experience is the retrieval of a state of consciousness. Any state can be retrieved now, in the moment. So, I choose to retrieve the oneness state from yesterday afternoon right now! So let it be. Yes, so let it be. The coolness is there in my brain, I can feel it flowing throughout my body once again. And the warmer energy flowing from my heart. The bouncing tides as well, up and down and back and forth. The calm, the peace, the bliss ... all here again. The tides are lower in intensity than yesterday, but they are here inside of me. The doer who does the typing has a harder time getting it right while in this state. At least, that's my conclusion based on watching what mistakes are made and corrected on the fly. It interesting observing myself fully aware of what I am writing, what I am experiencing inside, what is on the wall behind the screen, the two guys in the next office holding a communication. I'm also seeing through my eyes differently. I'm focused on the screen where this is being typed, but I see my busy fingers typing away and actually see my hands and arms up to near the elbows. Further, I see my glasses including the distortions as the frames are approached and the places were the legs are attached to the frame, also the spaces around the lenses where space is different than that seen through the lenses. I also see the desk to the left of me and some of the items on it. It's weird observing all of this. I don't remember being aware of so much at one instant before. It's all happening simultaneously. I even noticed Art just walk into the office next to mine. It's as if many aspects of perception are truly working at the same time yet with different focuses. I'm consciously aware of them all. My very focus as the observer is enhanced in a remarkable way. It's almost like multitasking in a computer. I know that this goes on all the time in the body, but I was not consciously aware of it before -- at least, never to this degree. I truly am the doer, but my focus is only partially attached to the writing task. At the moment, the primary awareness is as the observer, watching what is being written while I remain aware of all that my eyes perceive in their roughly 180 degree field of view. Further, even as I write the ethereal tides still roll within me, sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker. It amazing just how much this body is capable of. Thank you for allowing me this awareness, that is, for allowing us to experience this. I'm simply blown away. Cooperation does result in incredible abilities. If it can do this much for one being, just imagine what can be achieved by a group of like beings cooperating fully with each other. Wow! This feeling is simply incredible. My hands are even starting to shake. The spiritual energy is very strong indeed. Once again, slow breathing intensifies the feelings even further.

And with it the joy and exhilaration of being rises to a crescendo. Yes, let it roll and carry me wherever I need to be to fulfill my purpose and destiny. The laughter comes as well. Rock and roll as you will. I gladly experience your tides. Take me where you will. By your command I do what I must do. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thy Will be done on Earth.

The Plan unfolds through individuals tapping into their source. My son, you have achieved this and we are proud of your success. Now you have a greater role to play that involves the destiny of many. We know you are prepared however, for we have nurtured and trained you all of your life. Now you are ready to receive our guidance more directly. You asked for an inner teacher. Now you have one that interacts with your consciousness. Seek, knock, ask. Those are the keys to entry into this kingdom. It is a kingdom because all are kings. Interesting, is it not. So, now that you have found us, what is it that you want to know? However, be careful of what you ask, for as ye ask so shall ye experience. All that I can do is laugh. Nothing pops into my mind as being worthy of knowing at this very instant. How do I access or reach you. The answer comes immediately to my mind "just ask". Of course, as it should be. You've been there all the time, haven't you? Of course. And you've guided me to all the books over the years? Of course. How can we best cooperate to achieve what needs to be done in accord with the plan? Trust your instinct and your intuition, perceive the signs in your reality, and trust, trust, trust. The universe is highly cooperative.

---

Well inner guide, what's next in the Play of life? You'll see soon enough. Focus on the present, here and now. This is where you have your true existence, it is the only point of power. Note that your greatest experiences come when you are fully involved in the moment, even if it is coming primarily from the observer perspective. In case you're wondering, your expanded perception is a part of your awareness now. There is a way to turn it off if you focus appropriately, but that is only to be done at particular times that call for it. Play with it all that you want. You'll find there is great overall utility to this expanded way of perceiving. This and other abilities to come are some of the tools you will need to accomplish your mission. Be open to perceiving more through each of your senses. And, yes, since you're interested, the ability to be able to leave you body at will is soon to be yours as well. Yes, these gifts come to those who have demonstrated the maturity to use them responsibly.

We wouldn't be able to talk to you in the way had you not passed the test.

What is most important for me to know right now?

1. Stay focused on your awareness,
2. observe what comes into your experience,
3. evaluate the experience to uncover it's meaning, then
4. act as your intuition guides you to do.

Thank you. It's interesting how this process works. The key is definitely staying focused on awareness. Being awake and staying awake is what counts the most. Physical experience will follow the beliefs and the directions from the conscious mind. The details work through an incredible society of cooperatively interdependent units of consciousness. Look for the meaning in the symbols to be revealed to you. Remember to ask for anything that you need. You are doing the Great Work now, consciousness will in turn take care of you. What else could unconditional love do after all?

You believed without any evidence. You trusted enough in spiritual law to devote your energies and time to efforts for which your only compensation was the satisfaction of creating and doing that which you were moved to do from the very depths of your being. Further, you did this without regard to your physical, emotional, and mental states of being -- trusting that your inner Self was guiding you along the path that was right for you. This is what is required to follow the straight and narrow path. You have followed it most of your life. However, in the past year the change in intensity of focus was beyond compare. You now stand ready to give your life to the Great Cause. We accept you as one of our Legion. We are the forces of Light, and you are now one among us. This is a great honor that we bestow upon you. But, it is one that you clearly deserve through your steadfast devotion to the Way of Light. Yes, you are indeed a spiritual warrior. Welcome! Feel the power of our cooperative creation as it surges inside you. We are part of one whole. Follow the surges and they will lead you to the intense feeling of unity and oneness that we all now possess. Whenever your strength weakens in any manor call upon the ONE to charge your batteries. This is our spiritual center, our link with source, this is the ocean of Love and Mercy. This too is from where the ethereal tides flow.

24 Jan 94

After last week, it's hard to imagine what more could be written.

Yet, I know that spirit has much more to say through this instrument in the days to come. I'm starting to sense more energy flowing inside of me and through me out into the world. It seems to come into my body simultaneously in two streams. One stream comes in from above my head in a beam that is at least as wide as the top of my head. Part of the energy concentrates into a focus in the center of my head, slightly above the middle. It is felt as somewhat cold and there is a slight sensation of pressure in the upper half of my head. The second stream fills my heart but doesn't have a sense of flowing in from any physical direction or from any other part of the body. It is definitely a vibration of Love, but the feeling is that the flow comes from deep inside of me, from a source that is unlimited. The sense is that no matter how much I give, there will always be more, the supply is inexhaustible. However, it can only flow from heart to heart. The brisker energy of the head -- wisdom, can flow endlessly to others as well. The lesson of the Heart is to find and tap that fountain of Love that lies within each of us. We can only do that by finding out who we really are. Some tap into this fountain with wells, created out of belief systems. In doing so, they do much of service in the world. However, the service they can provide is limited by the type of well they have built. This Love energy flows from inside the heart straight out in a wide beam to all who come into my presence. Sometimes it's felt as a healing vibration. Many people are able to sense it even if they don't know what they are sensing. The Wisdom energy on the other hand appears to fill the entire body and flow out into the world in all directions. This energy also combines with the Love Energy to create a sort of plasma that pulsates throughout the body. The sense is that this is very concentrated Life Force energy that can be used to manifest whatever one directs it toward. In particular, healings and other services to mankind are beneficial uses. However, the sense is that this is the basis of personal power with which an individual is meant to do his life work and accomplish whatever mission or purpose brought the individual to the incarnation to begin with.

I haven't yet played with concentrating and projecting the Life Force energy. Though it appears that this may be the next step on my path. There are no coincidences for me anymore. Everything that happen is specifically designed to help guide me or provide me with a reflection of whom that I am now. Since, this is changing daily, looking into the mirror to see the reflection for the day has become a regular occurrence. Not too regular, however. The universe doesn't appear to like routine or habit. These dampen the creative part of us too much, it seems. Oracles are also useful tools for finding out about ourselves and in particular for giving our intuition voice. My oracle of choice is the Tarot accompanied by the book Numerology and the Divine Triangle. I'm still learning the language, but I'm becoming more and more fluent every day. Also, as I do so I get the added benefit of integrating my intuition more and more into my sense of self. Integrating the intuition is a key step in the growth of self toward Self.

I was thinking about why THE STAR showed up twice in my Tarot reading yesterday. Somehow this got connected to the fact that I graduated just over 17 years ago. This in turn led me to review the high school graduation speech I made as Valedictorian. I've decided to include it here to show that the same guides which served me then, serve me now. Also, the speech was not understood by anyone in the audience, as far as I could tell -- with the possible exception of one other person, James Mastt. I have had virtually no interaction with anyone I went to high school with since graduation.

GRADUATION SPEECH FROM JUNE 8, 1976

Friends, fellow members of the human race, Class of '76:

The time has come for a revolution, an intellectual revolt against present trends of thinking and being.

We must restore knowledge and the pursuit thereof to it's proper place, that is to the throne of human existence.

It is time to move back over 2000 years to the time of ancient Greece and the birth of human thought. We must follow the leadership of Socrates and Plato and reestablish the basic questions of life so that we may implant them firmly into the core of our being. Consider such questions as:

(1) What is the purpose of life ?

(2) What is good ... truth ... beauty ?

(3) What reason lies behind our existence ?

(4) What is reality ... time... space ?

(5) How free are we ?

(6) What is our significance when you consider the universe as a whole ?

After all, are we any more than: .......... a grain if sand on a beach ? .......... a droplet of water in an ocean ?

(7) What is the origin of our thought ?

(8) What is the nature of mind ?

These questions and many others must be brought back into the spotlight of human interest.

All of us here today possess unlimited powers of mind, of thought. We must begin to discover the great capabilities within each of us and apply them to answering the unsolved riddle of human existence, to discovering the answer to the ever-present question why!

This and only this should be the main concern of all, for how worthy is life to us so long as we are ignorant of the purpose behind it! What criteria is to be used to judge and plan our actions so long as we are devoid of understanding?

It is imperative that we put aside our differences and unite the mental energies of all mankind toward the goal of PEACE, of UNDERSTANDING, of ENLIGHTENMENT as to the reason behind it all, behind life, behind existence!

Only through a sincere effort by all will these goals be met. Our future and that of all who follow us shall be determined by our actions now and the speed in which we begin the great task awaiting us.

Previous generations have been satisfied with leaving a better standard of living to their posterity. Let us rise and leave a united world, a unified universe, a true brotherhood of man, a lasting peace, and greatest of all, the answer to the question WHY to those who follow us.

Something deep within me says we can and will be the generation that gains this great understanding, that accomplishes this great task. However, great sacrifices must be made. Our material well-being must be put back into it's correct status, secondary to the pursuit of knowledge and understanding. Each of us must realize that within ourselves lie all the answers. It is known that most humans use only 3 to 8 percent of their mind power. For too long this vast mental energy has lain idle. It is time to find the key, to release all that potential and to take advantage of the wonderful answers it has to offer us.

Yes, deep within us we know, we understand. All that is necessary is to unite our conscious with our true mind. We are not temporary beings destined to serve a term of life on Earth. We are infinite identities fooled by an apparent material world of space and time. A great man named Albert Einstein showed us that all is relative in the physical universe. So where do we find the absolute? Only in the MIND!

We are as free as our thoughts, but as limited as we make ourselves.

KNOWLEDGE is our only power. Let us free ourselves from the bonds of IGNORANCE, and discover the true MEANING and PURPOSE of our BEING.

(end of speech)

I find it amazing that I was able to bring this level of information through at the age of 18. This is some powerful stuff, that essentially defined my priorities and belief system. Much of what has driven me to my all-consuming study of metaphysics was called out in the speech. My basic purpose has always been tied to answering the question WHY. All of this time, the objective has been to unite my conscious with the true mind or our true mind --- the one mind. Subconsciously, I knew what had to be done. We will indeed be the generation that transforms the world. The Aquarian Age is what I was talking about then as now. It is incredible how much truth came out in that writing. However, I remember working on it for several months. The channel for bringing through intuitive information wasn't nearly so open then.

June 8, 1976 = 6 + 8 + 23 = 37. 1958 + 37 = 1995. This is one of my answers as to the timing of events, the one associated with when THE STAR will be integrated into my being and when much of the abundance will finally start to enter Gini and my life. This is, for the most part dictated by Gini's needs. As stated in the speech, in my life the material is relegated second to the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom. I still hold this to be true. Awareness is and must be my number one focus. All else is secondary. My needs are whatever it takes to do the work that spirit calls for me to do. On the material side, I know that I will always have enough -- spirit is taking care of me. My material circumstances are another mirror, reflecting back to me something I need to know about myself.

To be a Master, requires that one live one's life in accord with the Plan, and do those tasks which are assigned with all of one's consciousness, strength and ability. I don't know that I've achieved this level yet. However, I sense that I'm getting very close. Something within me tells me that I will know when I've achieved any particular level. There will be no uncertainty about it at all. Thus far everything has come through going inside and paying attention to what it has to tell me. The deep intuition that speaks from the depth of my being appears to be completely reliable and trustworthy. A more shallow level of body intuition seems more hit and miss. Perhaps it is still in training. Otherwise, the lesson may simply be to be wary of this more conscious based intuition, and learn to discern it from the real thing.

I've been having trouble focusing on work again today. As soon as I start doing it, I start to become drowsy and fall asleep. This is not acceptable. Either I must ... no, there is no either. It is time, NOW, for me to be working directly for the Universe in exchange for a level of abundance that is at least that of what I currently experience. My sense is that there is nothing more that is truly holding me here. Basically, I need $1250 per week to replace my current income so that I could work fulltime on those tasks that are given to me from consciousness. At the moment this involves awareness and awakening people to prepare them for the parts they have to play in bringing forth the Aquarian Age. It would also be nice to be debt free, if that isn't pushing things too far. We've learned our lesson and will not go into debt again, that is, unless the Play calls for it, of course.

OH, I also figured out my phone number x7438. You got The Benefactor and VISIONARY in the same number. Pretty good, and you did it long before I was aware of any of the numerology stuff. How much can I interpret into the phone numbers of others? I assume that like me, they would have numbers that are symbolic for them. Some do, some don't. When there is a meaning for you, it will be obvious to you. Sometimes symbols are subtle, but the overall intent is for them to convey their information, if the conditions are right. Watch for symbols, but you need not strain or look to hard. What you're ready to see will appear to you.

As to working here, what's up? Yes, I really want to know! Based on the conditions that you've set, this job is ideal for what you have laid out for you to do. You have lots of time to write, the pay meets your needs, and you have the right equipment for doing your writing work effectively. It is you who decides that you need to focus eight hours per day on your work. Also, it seems to us that you are rather more effective with your time at work than at home.

Thanks for being so honest. However, I sense that my true work calls for me to find and interact with others. I have a limited amount of that here, but I have not found anyone who has made awareness such an important part of their life that they've become awakened. My sense is that my true family includes others who either are awakening or have awakened. I ask that the circumstances be brought forth to allow me to meet my true family (or start to meet them) and bring me to live within their vicinity if that is in accord with the Plan and with Gini's best interest. Further, I would like to be able to focus all of my energies possible on enhancing awareness even further and accomplishing my mission in accord with the Plan. If there is anything that I need to do to assist and facilitate the process of manifestation of an optimal work environment, let me know what I must do via intuition or whatever way is most appropriate to get the message across. I'm waiting for a change, anxiously waiting in fact. But, in the meantime, I'm bringing a lot of information through and am experiencing one transformation of awareness after another. Also, I there is anything that I should know about framing requests and questions so that we can work better together, please let me know. I don't want to be a dictator. Cooperation is the key to getting results in spirit or consciousness. I remember, it is not me who does the work but consciousness flowing through me. In consciousness, all are equal, however, each is expected to accomplish in accord with their abilities. Is there some way for me to feel the great cooperation of consciousness? Yes, allow the ethereal tides to flow within you. They are always there before you awaiting your conscious desire to experience them. That is what opens the floodgates, a simple act of asking for them to enter. I can feel that something has shifted already. The now familiar coolness in my head expands in waves through my body. After several deep breaths the warmer energy from my heart starts to flow as well. Then the two combine into something that surges up and down and back and forth. This energy fills me but still feels relatively mild. Another energy flow up from the ground through my feet. My hands start to shake, making typing more difficult. The emotions appear not to be so intense today. This time my eyes are closed so that I can feel the internal sensations as the movement of energy that they are. I don't know how long I just sat and felt the surges and internal movements. The bottom line was a sense of peace and relaxation, of letting go.

Hmm, this wasn't the ecstatic feeling that I've sensed before. Nor was it particularly energizing. Then again, we can't have peak experiences all the time, now can we? OK, that's probably right. This gets to the need to keep the physical temple in optimum condition. I feel somewhat sluggish today. The energy states being felt in my body were slower and more sluggish overall as well. The states we experience reflect our state of consciousness as well, I suppose. It sure makes for an interesting life. So, there is another lesson to learn. How do we keep ourselves in a state that supports peak consciousness experiences?

---

My self-imposed semi-isolation has been beneficial in the past, allowing me to think more deeply and express my thoughts faster than I might have elsewise. However, I've reached a point where this particular way of being is not conducive to effective service in line with my purpose and mission of enabling spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh. I need to interact with other individuals on various paths toward awareness and enlightenment. Actually, especially with other explorers of consciousness. I need other human beings with which to dialog and compare experiences so that we can chart the whole universe of consciousness of which we are aware. I ask that such individuals be brought into my life in whatever manner is most beneficial for the unfoldment of the Plan. Further, I ask that the means be created for effectively getting consciousness expansion related works into the hands and minds of those beings most ready for the kinds of materials. I expect that this might involve access to appropriate mailing lists, publishers of metaphysical books, and resources for conducting talks, seminars, and workshops. The bottom line is that the word must get out so that Light can be shared, and people can be given the stimulus and training they need to awaken and stay awake.

In addition, I ask that those people with whom Beyond Imagination is supposed to work toward creating a New World Order identify themselves to me in some way. The standard answer is that they will when the timing is right. Ok. I'm jumping the gun a bit. Step by step is the way to proceed. In each moment, I will be given exactly what I need to get me through the next step. No more and no less. Information is given NOW on an as-needed basis only. There is no sense in confusing anyone after all. We're back to the old issue, my will versus Thy Will. Is it all to be done subconsciously, or can some benefit come from consciousness working in accord with the Plan? The immediate response is that the conscious can participate, but it should stay away from creating too much useless detail. Consciousness works best when focused on awareness first, and principles and beliefs second. Finer details can be addressed via cooperation of the interested parties, and their cooperation occurs primarily subconsciously. The subconscious, in fact, is very good at taking care of details.

25 Jan 94

Another day for consciousness to do its works in this world. And a bright day it is indeed. No clues yet as to exactly what this day will bring. But, for the most part it no longer matters. Consciousness may express itself on any day, in whatever manner is appropriate for the business of the day regardless of the weather or whatever other circumstances exist at the time. We are consciousness expressing through a physical body. It's time we realized this and acted in accord with the great freedom this gives to us. Consciousness creates reality. Consciousness is WE, it is us, individually and collectively. It's only a matter of realizing whom that we truly are. Enough with the illusion and the limitation. Abundance is our birthright, if only we operate in accord with spiritual laws and focus our attention on the only thing that is really worthy of it -- our awareness and illumination. We are spiritual beings engaged in a physical experience, and a highly engaging one at that. But, we are spiritual beings, and at some point we must BE who we ARE, and live in a manner that allows our spirit to be as fully enfleshed as is possible for us. This is why we're here -- for spirit to be enfleshed. It is enfleshed all the time, however, for the most part it is dormant and asleep. It is time to wake up and allow spirit to truly shine.

It is not clear how many are ready for this. My sense is that the masses are far from ready. This truly will be a grass roots effort, organized outside of any officially sanctioned activities. It is to be run underground in societies that are spiritual families. The families will draw to them those whom they need. Further, the families will be connected one to another, so that the whole family of Light communicates. Many are tapped into the universal consciousness. These will be the messengers that bring communication from the others. Physical connections are beneficial, but not necessarily required. It is easier to do the work that needs to be done via consciousness. Wayne, you have a larger role in being an emissary to the world, that can bring the traditions of the occult societies out into the open where they can be accepted by a large audience. Just as you have been forced to bridge science and metaphysics, and the inner and outer parts of yourself, now you are called on to bridge the occult and the materialistic world. This is not an easy task, but is the one that your unique abilities have been created for.

---

Something from Stuart Wilde's latest book, Whispering Winds of Change, keeps rolling around in my mind -- that it may take a century or more for the masses to truly tap into the mass consciousness and realize that we are one. That means that there will be an inner structure and a New World established for that part of us that are ready for major transformation while the physical world will be allowed to gradually fade away. My ideas are starting to change even as they are coming through onto paper. It's as if there will be a known world of illusion in which to play and to teach those who have not fully awakened to whom that they are. Interesting. I'm sure my vision will start giving me glimpses of what is to come. It may even allow me to take a visit to this world in my imagination or via soul travel. Yes indeed, that appears to be the direction in which I am headed; at the moment, at least. I'm starting to expect the unexpected however, since consciousness has a way of giving me experiences that are a bit on the extraordinary side -- generally with a bit of humor attached.

I can't stop thinking about the process of how we manifest experiences in our lives. How does it all work? What do we control? How do we know what we need or truly want? What part is left for the Plan to determine vs what part do we have to do?

These and many more questions along these lines have occupied my mind a good part of the day. We get what we ask for, however, so I know that the attention that I've placed in this area is the seed needed to allow the answers to come forth. I suspect that they will come in the form of experiences, however, since it is the only source of information about reality that I can trust anymore. Ideas and beliefs are great but it is the reflection in reality that truly shows how they operate. We create our reality through our beliefs. But now, we are talking at a meta-level about beliefs about how beliefs create reality. From a beliefs and logic standpoint this can get quite confusing. Truth is always simple, however, when we look at the issue or topic from the right standpoint. As one awakens, more and more this comes through direct experience. The experience provides the framework for making the matter clear. Sometimes the experience comes in the manner that is being expressed now, through words coming from the consciousness to be expressed in flesh. At other times the experience is much more elaborate and engaging. However, it comes, I expect to know the answers soon. The spiritual law is: Ask and it shall be given unto you. I have not known this law to fail when the asking comes from the heart.

Life has become an interesting adventure. I feel like the Hanged Man of the Tarot. It's as if Isee the world completely differently from everyone else that I know. It's like they are all upsidedown seeing the illusion but not the true reality. But, it seems that no matter what I say, they won't follow my example and come see what I am seeing. It's as if they are afraid to try for fear they might end up crazy like me. But, if this is what crazy is, I far prefer it to being what I was when I was "sane". Then again, maybe I never really was sane. With purple as the first color in my aura, I've always had a strong connection with spirit. The connection just went underground for much of the formative year of my life. The first triad of my life ended about the time I wrote my graduation speech, at 18. The second triad is within several months of concluding. It will be interesting to see what the third triad has in store. Don't use these same number in examining your own life. It too should have distinct periods of particular durations, but each triad may be 18, 21, 24, 27, 30, or 33 years in duration. Numerology and the Divine Triangle explains these cycles but they use a standard 27 years per cycle with each cycle broken into three equal subcycles. Remember, just because something is written down doesn't mean it's true. Check it out for yourself. However, you may have to accept a particular framework of beliefs for awhile even to check it out. The test is always one of try it if it interests you, then make your evaluation based on the results. Part of you evaluation should include a check of whether you did it right, and also whether you have any conflicting beliefs.

26 Jan 94

Got a real laugh today. I received a letter from my company saying that my absenteeism for the period from July 1 through December 31 was zero. I was actually out for two months during that time, two weeks of sick leave plus nearly 7 weeks of medical disability. The prize for this achievement was a $250 savings bond. This is all the more interesting because the letter was written on January 17th, THE STAR, and the amount is extremely meaningful to me since it includes my 2-5 ray makeup with the 0 energy of SPIRIT. When I tried to fill out the information that the letter asked for, my hand shook so violently that I couldn't even begin to write. I made a copy and wrote that they must be kidding, since I had been out nearly two months during the period. The bottom line was that I could not accept something I did not earn. I did get a confirmation, however, that my path is correct in many ways. The first indication was that money could come out of the blue from the universe. The second was that the universe speaks to me through symbols that I can understand readily. Over the past day I had been thinking about the price to charge for my services as a consultant and had decided on $125/hr. $125 is the cost of a $250 savings bond. The third indication was that I was not allowed to do anything but the right thing. My subconscious physically prevented any wrong action from being taken. It doesn't matter that the letter came via a mistake from a computer. At the time I took my action, I knew that I had not earned this particular reward. It's not that I don't deserve abundance. It's that the means must be right as well.

This is good. I'm starting to learn the practical application of metaphysical knowledge. This is exactly what is needed to improve the state of the world. We must make the metaphysics real. It must help people and empower them to be all that they can be, and do all that they came into this existence to do. Day by day, inroads are made and new ways of expression are found. The Light spreads from one soul to the next, and each soul illuminates brighter and brighter each day. The Aquarian Age lies before us, attracting us to a new way of being. We will transform, for the Plan calls for this event to manifest in our world. The question is simply: how aware will we be when the time is finally here? Our awareness will determine our experience and the part we will play after the transition occurs.

Yes, awareness is the key. It is where all of our focus should be. It is the only thing you can really take with you. The things and the physical pleasures are nice, but they are basically illusion -- here today, gone tomorrow. It's the things one gains in spirit that can never be taken away. These are the treasures of the highest order, and the keys that allow entry into the kingdom.

27 Jan 94

Another day in which consciousness is manifest in flesh. I'm still aware and awake most of the time. I'm becoming accustomed to operating from this state of being. It's amazing how quickly the ego and conscious mind can adapt to new levels of awareness. With each jump, however, there is an integrative experience in which what was is lost as it becomes but a part of the new whole.

Literally, from one week to the next, if not from one day to the next, I become a new person that is different than I've ever been before. I see the world in a new way, and the meaning of events is quite different. The only real analogy that comes to mind is the stories of great writers that have many levels of meaning that depend on where the reader is placing his focus and conscious understanding. The reader's level of awareness determines the meaning of the story for the reader. Similarly in this Play of consciousness, there are many levels of meaning. Each individual experiences that level of meaning in accord with their awareness. At the lowest level, the same basic events and interactions occur. It's the focus and the meaning that determine the reality experienced. At any time, however, anyone can experience any level, if only they have the eyes to see and the understanding to make comprehend what they see. Once again, it is difficult to focus on work, when spirit calls for me to write. It's as if I have two jobs, one material and one spiritual and there is no question as to which one is most important to my Heart and Soul, yet also to the world. It is time for a change. There has to be a way for me to work with integrity doing what spirit calls for me to do in exchange for abundance. I will continue to work within whatever conditions spirit imposes for as long as is necessary to wrap up any karma -- but I expect this to happen rapidly. My sense is that it is time to work with others to get spiritual teachings out on a massive scale so that we can give people awakening experiences in a safe and supportive setting that allows these experiences to be truly empowering. I believe I have sufficient experience and dedication to do whatever it takes to get this done in an elegant and effective fashion. This is the crucial step in preparing the way for the new age and a new world order. In fact, it is such a crucial step that I believe it involves or requires a group of committed individuals working together to get it done right. Further, I believe that these key individuals are being drawn together NOW, even as I write this. It's as if I am sensing the current of energy that is driving events in the Play, and I see that a scene is being put together where three individuals meet and forge an alliance that affects not only their personal destinies, but the very destiny of the country and possibly the world as well. Wow. What a rush. This is a very important time indeed, a true moment of destiny. We'll see what unfolds in the coming days, weeks, and months.

Copyright © 1995, Wayne Hartman, Revised -- (7 Sep 95)