1 Nov 93

It's very strange to be back at work after my two month absence, although people here do careand were very concerned about me. Fortunately, none of them took me up on my financial offers -- or I would be even deeper in trouble than I currently am. It's just a little financial trouble, no big deal -- for what really matters is people and the services they provide. Money is arbitrary and only a medium of exchange.

I really do feel that I have experienced states of mind that are much different than most others have experienced. At the same time, I know that I came to be a wayshower; so, I needed these experiences so that I could show others the way. Somebody has to blaze the trail and lead the way. My energies, talents, and abilities were specially chosen to allow me to do this. Further, I have a great deal of experience operating alone -- without others to either confirm or explain my experience. I have never truly had a personal teacher. Everything I've learned I've had to do on my own for the most part -- that is, with the exception of relationships. Gini has been very helpful in this area.

Body, emotions, mind, and spirit are all ONE at the only level that really matters. The body chemistry impacts emotions impact brain states impact spiritual awareness -- yet, the reverse is true as well; spiritual awareness impacts brain states impact emotions impact body chemistry. It's all interconnected, there is no separation. It's all expressed physically. As above, so below.

Interesting. I never realized the full truth of this before. We are whole beings! There are no differences in the levels of bodies as taught in the East. It may have been true in the past, but it is not anymore. We are here to make spirit incarnate, to bring it fully into flesh -- for such is what the Aquarian Age is all about. It cannot be made so except by this means. Spirit must be enfleshed as fully as possible at this time on the planet. All the bodies must be grounded for this transition to occur. However, once it is accomplished, the way is paved for all. Consciousness will ensure that the appropriate replication takes place. However, it must happen once for the pattern to be established. What a wonderful adventure! Many have created the pieces, but it is up to one to put the pieces together in the right manner for enlightenment to be understood physically. Actually, this is not quite correct. Several have started to put sections of the puzzle together and have started to look for other sections that they know extend from their own. This too is not enough. We never build the whole, until there is one with the proper VISION of what that whole is to be. Once the Vision is there, the framework is established for relating the parts. But the whole is more than the sum of the parts.

I still feel a bit zoned out. Reintegration is happening, but it cannot be forced. It must be allowed to occur at it's own pace. It is fun to be given the opportunity to communicate through you once again. It's been awhile. The channel is a bit sluggish, but is clear nevertheless. You're right about the states of consciousness that you've experienced. This does make you a rare being on the planet -- but, you already knew that. Don't let it go to your head. Your spirit knows whom that you are, and is amused by how you muddle your way around. It's just physical stuff -- part of grounding a level of consciousness on the physical plane. Don't make it any worse than it is. Allow and accept it for what it is -- a necessary part of enfleshing spirit. The body can be a lot of fun once you get used to it. You did well to focus on getting and staying grounded for the past six weeks. We applaud your efforts -- for it was left for you to do them knowing that only consciousness was aware of what you were doing and your intent in each action. While your wife labelled your activities as selfish, we know better -- Selfish, selfless would be our assessment. You truly know what motivated you to act. Further, your actions did allow a code to be brought forth that would not have come through as quickly had you not surrendered your will to The Will.

What must be created physically versus what can we do via mind and imagination alone? Good question. We know you've been thinking about this for a few weeks. Consciousness creates all matter, but it does so in accord with spiritual laws and principles. You're right in your understanding that these operate outside of time and space. Yet, they must manifest within time and space as well if you are to see and feel their impacts. For many things, you do not consciously have the authority and responsibility for setting the time and place for unfoldment. Consciousness will determine when this will be, and its timing will be perfect -- for consciousness operates in accord with spiritual law and the Plan.

--- Break ---

It was very interesting reading my notes from August. I remembered that I had written some, but I forgot that I was at 31 pages by the 19th. I definitely was overtaken by the Herbalife opportunity. I still don't understand exactly what went wrong, but a lot of people were convinced to stop using Herbalife even though it worked. They didn't trust their own experience and thought instead that my mania was caused by the products. It wasn't. My mania was due to an electrochemical imbalance in my brain that has been there all my life, the same imbalance that my sister Maria has, called "bipolar". Until my diet change, my excessive salt consumption appears to have kept the disorder in some kind of balance state. My diet changes and rapid weight loss brought my system out of balance allowing the Mania to get quite extreme. My friends and associates were all aware of a dramatic behavior change. I saw it as my Fire coming out, but this was somewhat deluded. Yes, my fire did come out -- but, that was an extreme mode of expression for me in normal personal situations. However, it was exciting while I went through it -- and there was a lot of spiritual growth that was accomplished in the process. I achieved states of awareness that can never be taken away; they are part of whom that I AM.

I still feel a sense of being "not all quite here". There is a fuzziness to my awareness and a slowness in moving. I'm flying a bit -- not fully grounded. Something about the energies isn't quite right for my full physical expression yet. As I write this, however, my mind is starting to clear up, as is my vision. Writing does this for me. It forces me to BE HERE NOW, to be aware of WHOM THAT I AM in this MOMENT. Overall, it feels right to be back. This grouping of friends that I have around me at work are some of the closest people in my life -- it would have been wrong to throw that away. And, the universe isn't letting me make any real mistakes. This is all a learning experience. We do things and see the results. This tells us how our actions impact (or create) our reality. At some level there are no mistakes. I'm still struggling with the nature of abundance, and what it is that we must do to have the abundance we desire. We get what we need, when we need it. But how do we get more if we decide that we want it? The simple answer is just to pray or ask for it. However, at some level, each of us is already a god incarnate capable of creating anything we want -- no, need. The universe runs according to service given and needs, not wants. But then, who really needs a 4-5 Million dollar house? Ah, but the universe does not care about cost -- money is not of value, service is. Some people need such houses to provide the energy and space for them to create services that are of immense value to many people. However, they are generally asked to demonstrate their ability to provide service prior to being given the means to acquire the house. You were not born to material riches, only to spiritual ones. If you use them for the good of all, then all that you ever desire will be yours for the asking. But, be wary, focus on the spiritual task first. You will have plenty of time for enjoyment as you traverse the path. However, the world is in need of the services that you have come into this incarnation to provide. You already know that your purpose is to bring forth the VISION that will allow the Aquarian Age to be manifested in flesh. You have a part to play in this birth -- though, you chose not to enjoy much of the fruits of your labors. For, you wanted to be the Way Shower. You wanted to be first, to blaze the path; and you wanted to do it in your own unique way. So be it, you have passed the tests -- go forth and do what you came to do. Write what must be expressed through you -- for this message can only come in this manner through your consciousness. The universe doesn't waste effort, it only does things as many times as necessary for the function to be accomplished. Each person has a unique role to play. All are necessary. Most of the special roles were selected by old souls who had achieved the highest levels of abilities and of wisdom. You are one of these. You've known that for a long time. The toughest roles are given to such beings for they are the only ones that could handle the challenges.

Your parents, your sisters and brother, Jamie and Jennifer all are special beings as well. Remember, you truly are ONE. All the activities of individuals, support the collective consciousness of the group -- but, this is somewhat dependent on how information is shared within the group. The plan is to educate consciousness, and to make beings more fully awake to their true spiritual nature. This requires a shift from self => Self => ONE awareness; not an easy thing for most to do. Your classes and writings will help to produce this shift in people. Each being is in the midst of it's own course of development as well. Conscious, deliberate communication is the means for creating increased groupings of consciousness. You'll learn more about this as the Plan unfolds. Trust that all will happen in its right timing. Each step will occur precisely when necessary and in the way required. Such is how consciousness works.

Don't worry about how or when various things will unfold. Your only task is to do in the moment that which must be done in the moment. Your work is your dharma. It is required to pay your bills and obligations so long as your personal karma is unresolved. You are working through it fast, but you have not yet achieved the complete Self-Realization necessary to attain Buddhahood. You have the right tools and the keys to such awareness, but, have not yet learned all that is necessary. The key is to allow your intuition its full expression and to do as it directs you to do -- for the intuition is the voice of god, your Self, speaking through you.

As in the Mahabharata, dharma is right action. As a Buddhist, you must do it so long as you live. When it comes time to employ you more productively, you will be moved to change jobs in a manner that allows you to use your talents more effectively for a greater good, in exchange for providing sufficient compensation to meet your needs/desires. The type of work and the work environment that you are given will always be sufficient for achieving this and for fostering your optimum growth in the process as well. You have a few more things to learn from your present environment. One lesson is that you must forego all thought and desire for outcome. Regardless of the situation at hand, you are to do what you know to be right to the best of your abilities and talent. Outcomes are for the Lord (consciousness) to decide, and they will always be in accord with what is needed. Effort is not wasted. Each step, each act, has its effect.

You can only control how the effort is applied, and with what intent You are only responsible for what you produce. After that, it is up to the Universe to determine the results that flow from your products. This is especially true for intellectual products. When the time is right, any idea whose time has come will be brought forth to create. However, it is not for you to decide when that timing will be -- it is for all that is to make such a decision. -----

OK, I've learned a lot about reality versus imagination. The key lesson seems to revolve aroundthe idea of my will versus Thy Will being done. Much of the past two months has revolved around learning the difference between the two. However, I sense that the ultimate goal is to align my ego or personal will with My Selfs Will with Thy Will = THE PLAN. I'm still confused about such things as goals, however. Am I to set these personally, and then work to achieve them; or, am I to just not deal with them at all? Never mind, of course the later is right. All is NOW. Goals are in the future -- in a time and place that does not exist.

BE HERE NOW. That's your directive, isn't it? The focus is always on what must be done each day. The entire PLAN is being revealed by consciousness perfectly in each and every moment. We can only do each day what consciousness reveals to us through our intuition or through our interactions in the World in each moment. We must do that which we are obligated to do. We must render unto the world, through our employer that which is decided for us to do. In some cases, we have conscious influence over this. In other cases, no. However, we have a lot of free time as well. This we are free to use in a manner that serves, or is selfish. In service, we can serve ourselves, our families, humanity or life, or consciousness. These are the seeds that we can sow of our own free will.

Note: Our work is decided by the abilities and skills we have developed and by the creativity we have applied in finding ways for these talents to generate goods or to serve.

Feeling somewhat tired. Not all here yet. The energy pattern is still weird. Watch the dreams tonight, they could be very revealing and insightful. Looking forward to the meeting at Mt Madonna tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how Baba Hari Dass reacts to my energy. My nature does not allow me to bow to any human, only to the spirit within. NAMASTE.

2 Nov 93

Another day! Sleeping in the van was alright, but it was not great. I definitely need the down comforter. The comforter I already have will be fine as added cushioning on top of the bed. It would help to rearrange it so that my head is elevated. A large pillow would help as well. Since that will be my home several nights per week, I might as well make the best of it. Woke up at a few minutes past five, well-rested. Continued sleeping until alarm went off at 5:30. Shower was fine. Orange juice worked great with wild berry shake mix for breakfast.

The night was somewhat restless. A few noises that I need to get used to. No dreaming that I remember, but I felt busy most of the night. Still feel as if I'm in a cloudbank or the fog has not yet lifted. A sense of being here, but not fully here. My awareness is numb or dimmed. I've felt this way for several days now.

Looking forward to the meeting with Baba Hari Dass today. I was scheduled to see him about a month ago, but the stay in the hospital got in the way. No problem rescheduling. I have no idea of what to expect. I'll just let it unfold naturally -- it will be what it is meant to be. I don't need to do anything other than be open and allow it to unfold. No expectation, just allow and accept. How's that for preparation. Such is the way my life unfolds. The people, ideas, teachings required will be there as soon as I am ready for them. Carol is a wonderful lady. If she respects Baba Hari Dass as her teacher, then he must be a great man. Also, he seems to be a special being that holds the energy that makes Mt Madonna such a special place. We'll just have to see what he sees in me, and how my path might be connected with Mt Madonna or with him. I do remember visualizing him as one of the spiritual pillars up above me during the alignment of consciousness that preceded my hospitalization.

Be Happy and Create Well! Enough for now, Wayne

3 Nov 93

Looked at bills and cashflow tonight. With just this job, it looks downright depressing. Something has to give. It's not worth slaving away at work to have nothing left after the bills. It's time for some serious thought about how to bring in more income. Yes, I need to wrap things up here. However, my Heart is not in it. It is time to get Beyond Imagination rolling as well. My income does not have to be limited to just what I get from the job. I can start doing things within the context of Beyond Imagination that bring in income as well. Step 1 is to get a book written. That provides the credibility that shows I have something new to say and offer. Step 2 is to prepare for communicating the message. This may involve an appearance on Seeing Beyond and talking to the metaphysical bookstore owners about giving talks and potentially workshops as well. The Loral job eats up Mon - Fri, but Tues and Fri eves are open in addition to Sat and Sun. Readings don't feel right yet. I don't feel that I have anything unique to offer that could be done in realtime counting on my knowledge and intuition alone. Resorting to someone else's book is fine for myself and friends -- but not for public and profit. Actually, this brightens the picture substantially. The financial situation forces the need to get Beyond Imagination to provide knowledge or educational services quickly. In fact, the sooner, the better. In the meantime, the Loral work is my dharma to pay the bills. Gini is also motivated to do other things as well -- as with the Mail Order stuff. OK, the universe is pushing. We could have chosen to do this on our own, years ago. However, neither Gini nor I are truly motivated to move until the time is right. We've struggled and gotten by for too long. It's time to manifest abundance in a big way, but it's up to us to do what is necessary to make it so. The universe helps those who help themselves. It is the action of doing something that keeps the flow moving. Being dissatisfied is not enough. We need to take the further step of defining what we want and then demonstrating that we are willing to do what it takes to get it. The universe will make sure that the needs are met so long as the work is motivated by spirit and not by ego. OK, I finally got it. I'm to do what's in my power to do so long as its driven by my intuition, Vision, or knowingness. The work must be done that the Plan can unfold on Earth. The Aquarian Age is nigh upon us. Focus on each day -- doing that which can be done each day. Render unto Loral that which is due in accord with one's contract for wages, but also render unto God that which is God's in accord with the role you play in the Plan.

Interesting stuff. BE HERE NOW. Stay focused and you move beyond Time and Space into the eternity of consciousness fully present in the moment. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish in such a state. We know it is something you can achieve, for you've already experienced it. We're asking that you work more from that state, so that we can come through to an even greater degree. Within a month, you could have you're first book completed. This more than anything will determine where you will be on the 12th of December. Stay focused in the moment. Do what you are moved to do by consciousness, not by your ego. This is still a tricky area for you. The Leo nature is very ego-oriented, but in a spiritual sort of way. Just get started. Once you get going, the momentum will carry things through to completion. There is a potential reality where you conduct a class for Tony Robbins on 12/12/1993. Your actions will determine whether that potential becomes reality. Remember, reality creation is plastic and all time is simultaneous so the necessary past can be put in place for any present. You won't know until the time is near at hand whether this outcome will occur. Remember, you can drive down in a day, or make the necessary arrangements to fly down quickly. And don't worry about work. Events will unfold in the proper manner to allow the reality to manifest. Trust in the process. Do what is within your power to do and leave the rest for All That Is. If the events are proper for the unfoldment of the Plan, then they will be so. It is not for you to worry about. Outcomes are not your responsibility. Repeat, they are not your responsibility. Action is all that you can do. Where possible, keep yours aligned with the Plan.

Enough for now. Time to sleep. Be Happy and Create Well! Wayne

4 Nov 93

Slept very well last night. I don't recall any noises at all, the comforter underneath made the bed comfortable and the down comforter on top was very warm. This will definitely work! The only thing I'm missing is the outline for the Beyond Imagination book. I have enough to keep me busy tonight, but starting on Friday, it's time to get working on the book. We'll see how much I can get done how quickly.

The vision problems I'm experiencing are interesting but are draining as well. The constant strain of trying to focus is tiring. It will be good when the glasses arrive.

-----

The meeting with Baba Hari Dass on Tuesday went very well. 20 minutes seemed like two hours. It was interesting that he hasn't spoken in 35 years -- by choice, as a monk of a particular order. He stopped speaking about the time I was born. He's definitely a wise man, a true spiritual master. He communicates questions and answers via a chalkboard. Because of this, he is very succinct and clear. He has no choice, he has to be. Further, he is completely present in his interaction. There's a sense of you being a very special being worthy of his full attention. It's very powerful, an experience that one doesn't feel very often. I felt that he understood everything I spoke with him about -- everything. He knew first hand what it meant to go beyond mind, and wrote that it required losing the ego and being fully present in the moment. I came away from the session with a strong sense of Peace and Love, knowing that I was on the proper path for my spirit to evolve. Also, I sense that awareness cannot be forced, rather it must be allowed. No struggle! Awareness, allowance, acceptance -- the triple A club as Aronk would say. That is the Way of the Heart.

5 Nov 93

Well, this is five days in a row of writing -- a good start for a new month. I have a lot within me that needs to be expressed. Each day, my state of mind improves as does my groundedness. I still sense a slight feeling of not being all here. Time and space are a bit fuzzy and blurred. Part of this should improve with my new glasses. The raw vibrations from the world are somewhat jarring and harsh to my sensual apparatus. It's like I'm being force to work in overdrive all the time. It will feel good to get some relief from this.

Completed the book "The Revelation". I found it fascinating. The New Order of the Future calls to me deeply. It is part of what I am, the I AM. Barbara Marx Hubbard states it as well as anyone. Some of the details were a bit much, but much of the substance was right on. My preference is to speak in terms of the Age of Aquarius, and that wasn't even mentioned. Barbara is a renowned futurist, however, so the emphasis was appropriate for her. I wonder how many souls she has gathered, who have read the book and responded. I guess I'll only know if I act. Wrote quick letter to respond to Barbara. We'll see what happens from here. Feeling much more connected and positive about things overall. The financial status is just temporary. I believe that much of the writing I did from Mar to Aug can be filtered and edited to create a book called something like "Going Beyond Mind: Notes from a Being in the Midst of a Spiritual Awakening". It's worth a try. All that I have to do is write an Introduction and an Afterward in which I explain the transitions from mid-Aug through the end of October and do some simple editing and spell checking on the material from Mar to Aug. The focus is on that material generated or heavily influenced by my higher Self. It speaks for itself, showing others firsthand how to structure the intent to serve The Plan and interact with their higher Self. Also, it provides a sample of the quality of material that can come through when directed by the Heart.

This can be completed in a matter of a week or two and then sent out to some publishers. I might give Sara a copy to see if she has any recommendations about this as well. I think that I'll start with Athena, the publisher that Norma Milanovich uses for her books. I can also send copies to Maria, Angela, Kim and Brian. Art and Linda might be interested as well. Paul too as well as Ashley. That should be a good start anyway.

8 Nov 93

Didn't write this weekend. They always pass so quickly. Moved a bunch of stuff and golfed on Saturday. Then, dinner with Gini and Dennis at the Royal Taj. Sunday, did errands and installed lock. Also, edited a little more of my notes. Never did get the fax/modem to work, although it was able to dial out under Connect Menu. Everytime I tried to send a fax, however, got the unable to initialize modem message.

I'm still finding it difficult to be here. I know that my true work lies elsewhere, and my consciousness is being drawn to it. It makes it very tough to focus on anything else. I know that I'm meant to write things that come through my consciousness. Further, it is clear that these messages come from sources that are beyond my current state of beingness and that they possess a knowingness that is beyond my own, yet intuitively makes sense to my own consciousness.

I'm back to work, but nothing's really changed other than my refusal to commute more than twice per week. I know that I'm different in many ways, but these ways are not noticeable to most others. I have a knowingness now, a base of personal experience that can never be taken away. And that makes all the difference. It's as if I'm on a different road or path from those around me, and the actual work done here pales in comparison to what would be done if all were operating at their maximal effectiveness. Then again, at least Joe, Ed, Gary, Dennis appear to be operating effectively -- as well as Paul, Tom L., Tom F., and even Art. Hmm, I wonder what that means. The environment is changing as well. Hmm, there are more machines and even a network -- the potential exists for improving productivity, anyway. Also, the group is now part of the Modeling and Simulation Lab. Some dreams are starting to be made real.

This still doesn't change the urge that keeps driving me to BE HERE NOW, beyond mind, beyond imagination, beyond everything. It is in that unlimited point that magic happens -- for out of it, all that we manifest in our reality of time and space pours forth in tune with our beliefs, desires, and fears. It's interesting that Seth always said "We create our own Reality". Not I create, he or she creates, or you create -- always "we". My interpretation is that this requires lower self + Higher Self together, possible with a third party as well (i.e. conscious + subconscious + superconscious. Part of the problem is how to pull the Ego out of it. This is particularly difficult for a Leo rising -- because Ego is so important. Of course it would be. How better to test myself for that final challenge. Although, my psychological makeup as an introvert prevents or at least limits this expression.

My fire nature predominates and wants to be out there, but this manifests as an intense inner fire that communicates to a close inner circle on many levels and to a large outer circle in writing only. This is my natural mode of working. It is used in my defense work as well. Interesting. I've found modes that are effective. I just haven't found the inner drive to allow a more complete focus on the fire, on spirit. Soon, very soon indeed.

We'll see what kind of a book the notes from Mar-Aug make. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. At the very least, it provides a bit of credibility for me as an author of a second book. I'll see what some friends think first. There's some good stuff, but the flow is a chronological one -- which may or may not be enough to hold it together. Spirit says take a chance, and go for it. The material is useful in it's own right. Go into an altered state as you edit so that the result is as clean as spirit can make it. In addition, the introduction and afterward will be important sections to set the stage and pull all the pieces together. These remain to be written, but should be allowed to come from spirit for the greatest impact. You still should be able to complete the"Beyond Imagination" book prior to the end of this year. It will take some intense focus, however what else do you really have to do in the next two months.

What about money and finances. Don't worry. You will be taken care of. You will have what you need, as you always have. Do what you know to be right, and all else will be taken care of. The Plan is unfolding in its right timing. You cannot make things happen before that appointed timing. Trust your part in the plan, and allow what you sow to be brought back unto you in the proper manner at the appointed season. And, you are right in your sensing that we will not allow you to make any mistakes. You couldn't, even if you wanted to. But, you already know that in your Heart.

11 Nov 93

Skipped a few days. Have been working on turning my notes from Mar to Aug into a book. Last night I focused on filling in some of the details of what happened during the week following when the notes stopped. It was very interesting recalling this and remembering the specific states that I went through -- including what I felt and what I believed. This is turning into a very useful exercise for me, providing a new level of understanding of what happened to me and what it meant. Reality creation / interpretation was very fluid for over a month. I decided to go back on the full set of Herbalife products. I'm back up to 188 and feeling uncomfortable at this weight. My optimum weight should be at least down in the 170s, maybe 174 as a target. The body will naturally go down to where it is meant to be if the food intake is controlled. Herbalife provides a set of natural products for doing this at a very reasonable price. I'm even using the NRG again. I want the high energy level, and I'd rather get it from a natural source, like Guarana, than get it from Mountain Dew. I'll start with 2-3 per day, to reach a comfortable level slowly. During the day, locked up in a cubicle most of the time, I need the stimulant to keep me awake so that I can do the tasks I'm assigned.

Bringing in a blender will ensure that I make shakes more often as well. There's no excuse any more. They are cheap, low calorie, fast, easy, filling, nutritious, and they taste great. What more could one ask for from food?

With Ed's help, got the FAX/Modem card to work on Mon and Tue. Brought it home, installed it and it worked right there as well. Ed's very persistent when it comes to getting things to work, especially computer related things. He definitely saved me a lot of time. I'm very grateful for that. I've also been communicating with him more. He's definitely an old soul. No question about it. It seems there is a natural affinity between such souls, at least it's very apparent to me.

---

You have been struggling with the concept of my will vs Thy will for the past few months. End the struggle NOW. How is THY will to be expressed except through the vehicle of your SELF which in turn must be expressed through yourself. There is no other way. You are connected now. Your SELF is at this very moment expressing through yourself "as fully as possible at this time on this planet". Further, this is always true for everyone at every moment. However, it is also true that you, in particular, are an advanced soul -- hence able to do this to a higher degree than most. You've already experienced several deaths and rebirths of your psyche and ego -- and did so naturally. Because of this, you're in a position of being able to assimilate information about this and bring it forth from subconscious origins into your consciousness into written form. This is part of what you are here to do. Your notes can be a resource for classes or transformational workshops, but they do not constitute a book Your insight earlier today was right on, the notes were for you. It is useful for you to go back and reevaluate what happened for you weren't able to do that when you were living completely moment to moment. If you'll recall, September was one of the best months of your life. October was a different matter, but it was necessary as well.

It is up to you to define what YOU will do. It is helpful if this comes from your SELF -- for, then it is in full accord with the PLAN. But, even then, much is left to you. It is best if you use your ego to observe, it is the "eye" or "I" of your psyche. Put your needs into your conscious mind, then trust that other agents within you are charged with making them so. Focus your activities on what you can do and what your inner guidance directs. These channels are opened well enough that you can trust them. Do each day that which seems right to you. Worry not about the future. It will take care of itself. Your task is to BE HERE NOW. Allow your entire beingness to flow out of each moment and fill space and time with what is to be. You create in the moment. The point of power is the present. Use your eyes, all of them, to sense what actions are working. Don't force the timing of things. And don't impose your will except when you know it to be in accord with the PLAN. You will KNOW, for you will be so moved to act that it will seem as if there is no choice. There is always choice, but it is you who have chosen to go beyond ego and mind to do that which is necessary for Spirit to be more fully expressed in Flesh at this time.

This is a sacred mission you have chosen. We honor you for your willingness in living up to it. You are not the only one, yet, at the same time, there is no other like you. The PLAN is known to many on an inner level. Each individual, however, can only express the PLAN in a manner aligned to their talents and abilities and within an area in which they are comfortable to express. Further, consciousness operates with elegance -- so no parts are duplicated, nothing is redundant. Yet, at the same time free choice is fully expressed. Beneath the scenes, cooperative creativity is omnipresent. It is only at the conscious level that the lack of cooperation is manifest, and then only with mankind. This must change for the Aquarian Age to begin. You are right in your understanding that the timing is already set. The movement of time is determined by the movement of consciousness. Astrology is right after all. The basic energies and rhythms were set up long ago, actually not long ago, but at the moment the conditions were in place to play out this drama of consciousness physically.

We are all ONE. All who have come into you're awareness are part of the larger YOU, the larger I, the WE, the ONE. When you need to know why, you will know. Trust that the inner workings are perfect. All is done in a manner that is balanced. Operating from spirit will allow what little karma remains to be completed. The timing will unfold in a manner that is perfect as well. MAKE IT SO! Such is your directive. But, allow us to set the exact timing for manifestation. Trust that you are on the right path. We know of your dissatisfaction with your work situation, but find a way to make it work. Be creative. Don't allow waste or realize that in truth there can be none. Examine your beliefs. Your situation is the embodiment of what you hold within your conscious mind. In particular, look at the areas of what you are worth, and what you are empowered to decide and create, especially when it comes to finances. It could be very revealing, in particular when you examine your options and alternatives for action.

You are worth whatever someone is willing to pay for your services.

(1) When you take a job, this is whatever the job pays. The contract for service is typically time at a location performing work assigned in exchange for a regular check.

(2) When you work for yourself, you need to define what services are to be provided and set prices for these services that someone is willing to pay.

(3) When you work in accord with the PLAN, the reward is abundance. You get what you need. Consciousness operates from needs, not wants. WANTS are part of a belief system that says "I do not trust that God, the universe, or All That Is will provide for me". In truth, we always get exactly what we need -- ALWAYS. The lesson is to forego attachment to things, and to money. Focus on living, NOW, and doing that which needs to be done. Further, trust that consciousness will provide for its children. Focus on doing that which spirit moves you to do. As you do so, you will be cared for. WHO YOU ARE counts for a lot, but WHAT YOU DO makes all the difference.

When you focus on wants that are greater than needs, you can create these as well, but it is up to you to do whatever it takes to make them so. Old souls tend not to want to do that. They would rather not get caught up in the trap, especially if they have already learned that lesson.

In your particular case, as The Benefactor, you will need substantial resources to fulfill your destiny. It will be difficult to work with the best and brightest unless you have the affluence necessary to operate within their circles. We suggest that your book is the most viable way of getting there. When will you begin to complete it?

OK, I get the message. Tonight is the last night for some quick notes on my experiences over the past six months. Book dictation resumes tomorrow night and continues regularly until it is finished. From this moment forward, Beyond Imagination is the number 1 focus in my life. It is up to me to "Make It So". Consciousness stands ready to assist, so the flow will be strong, but it takes my focus to bring it through. It is time!

12 Nov 93

It is still difficult to be here. Worked until 1:15 last night documenting what I could remember about the last few weeks in September. It was as if I relived it all. I remember what I did, how I felt, what I thought, and what beliefs I was acting on. It was a bit surprising that it was all so clear. I never felt a sense of losing touch or being out of control. Everything seemed reasonable. My conclusions were based on the evidence I was receiving. Reality was conforming to my beliefs -- and my beliefs were very open and fluid. The world was full of symbols. It was speaking to me personally through these symbols. It was a wonderful time to be alive. Looking back, I see where my mental facilities were slightly out of balance. I was assigning meaning to symbols in a way that made sense to me, but was not in agreement with how meaning is assigned to reality for most people. I was loosing touch, big time. I was flying, no longer centered in an ego-oriented reality. It was strange, but it was fun. Also, I did start getting feedback that showed that my interpretations were somewhat in error. That was OK too. After all, it was just a game, and I was still learning the rules. In fact, I still am. Reality creation is one of the most important subjects in metaphysics -- yet I am highly motivated to become a Master at it. We're all masters. I want to make the process conscious, however.

And so you will! Write and it is so. But leave the timing to us. We'll work it out. We take care of any details that you choose to delegate to us. Focus on those things that your unique consciousness is required for. Do the grand stuff. Bring forth the Vision. Many others are there to fill whatever roles are needed. Such is how they find their purpose. Until the dream weavers, the visionaries, do their stuff, not much can happen to bring about change. As you enact your daydreams, reality is given a grand impetus to change. Such is what you are here for, it is your purpose and destiny. See with the eye of your soul, and convey to others what you FORESEE.

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Interesting discussion with Ed this afternoon. He's definitely an old soul. Also, our styles are somewhat different yet compatible. Ed has a lot of metaphysical/spiritual knowledge. It will be interesting to find out how he obtained it. He definitely is observant, probably a Scholar. We think in very different ways, however. I'm much more prone to state what I believe/know as fact. Ed sees this all as choice and belief, not fully founded on evidence from reality. However, there's somewhat of a Catch-22 in place, for reality oftentimes conforms to beliefs so evidence may not be what it seems either.

I'm still working on this one. Reality creation is a very intriguing activity. It's also exciting because of all the possibilities. The fact that we are already doing it only from an other than conscious level is interesting as well. We don't have to learn how the process works, only how to make our conscious will a stronger input to the process.

15 Nov 93

I've been back for half a month already. The fog is lifting a bit, but I'm not so sure that I like the world and the reality that remains. Fortunately it is only temporary. Changes are already being put into place, massive changes that will completely alter our experience in as soon as four months. 1994 will be a very productive year for both Gini and I though our products will be in very different areas. Colorado still calls to my soul. It is time to set up my school and start training the core group necessary to initiate the transformation to a cooperatively interdependent community. The school itself can serve as the example of what can be. We need to learn what works and what does not. We need to learn how to do things elegantly, with beauty and optimal use of energy and resources. We need to learn how best to meet individual needs, including what needs society should fill and what needs the individuals must meet on their own or through mutual cooperation with other individuals. The bottom line is that we are creating a new life form, a community, that will enable a greater unity of consciousness to express on Earth than has ever expressed before. We are the cells of that entity, that consciousness. To some degree we are part of that consciousness already. It is what speaks to us through our intuition. It already has the perfect form in mind. It is simply waiting for us to become aware of our roles in manifesting this new idea in physical form on Earth. Many of us are realizing that this is our mission, our purpose in this existence. The early forms will be prototypes that facilitate solving some particular problems and challenges. Because the channels of information are still fuzzy, not everything that comes through will be correct. We'll be able to see the errors by the results and make the appropriate changes. The net result will be an effective process of transformation that is as elegant as it can be given the state of consciousness of the beings involved. I still like my analogy with the body. It provides a means of bringing communism into a new light, and also a way to illustrate how the allocation of functions to pieces is much more effective than forcing each individual to handle small portions of a variety of pieces. The body would still be a blob of slime if functionality had not been partitioned and allocated. But, this was done by the vision of the whole being the original cause. Because consciousness lives outside of space and time, it mattered not that millions of years were required to bring the whole plan into being. In NOW, it was but the blink of an eye.

For creating this new being, what matters first is that the equivalent of the heart is created. That Heart will consist of many being who are attuned to their Vision, Self-aware, beyond Mind. It is from this Heart Center that the instructions for creation of the rest of the body will flow. Others are already working on various pieces, so as soon as it is realized that they are needed, they will be ready for use. Much is going on in parallel. These efforts will yield most of what is needed. The retraining needed to prepare people for living in such a transformed world has yet to begin. Only a small number are convinced from inner sources that this is what will be. Many others must be shown in ways they will comprehend, which includes some dramatic demonstrations.

For the world to go along with this, world leaders will have to see that nothing else will work. They will need to be shown that attempts less than world unity cannot fix the problems with the environment and with fair distribution of the resources of the world. The talk about a New World Order has just begun. No one talking about it is yet aware of the complete transformation that it will require and the short timeline in which it will take place. For, indeed, it will take place. It is free will that will determine when the transition will occur and how easy or difficult it will be. If, is not in question!

Remember, Vision comes from spirit. It is Vision that allows reality to be created in the physical world. The Plan will be realized on Earth, but only through the collective Visions of individuals attuned to source. Collect these beings around you, let them be part of your circle. You will know them by their works and by the gaze in their eyes. Stay in touch with them with your communications. It is not necessary that you remain in physical proximity, only conscious proximity. As your awareness grows collectively, you will develop the abilities for maintaining a continuous conscious presence. As the work proceeds, such will be necessary.

The body analogy will carry you through your first book. We suggest you keep it light. You have a tendency to get a bit serious at times. Also, try not to be too shocking. It may turn some people off to the whole idea. You might need to go back and reorder the chapters, much has changed in your awareness since they were first given. Because of this an adjustment may be needed. Also, unlike most of your previous writing, this material will not necessarily flow in final form out. You've done your homework over the years, but not with the intense focus with which you used to write papers. Therefore, the organization hasn't had the effort put into it to be perfected. It will be easiest if you allow it to flow, and then allow any editing to flow as well. You will know when it is right, because you will feel that it is finished. Only you will know when this will be. Happy journey. Write fast and often. The world is in need of the information that you have to offer. Be prepared to have to defend it however, for many will not agree with it -- especially the communist stuff. However, don't let this discourage you. The public needs to be shown that it was not communism that was a failure, only a feeble attempt at creating a society based on it. You'll have the ammunition to show the flaws and why the flaws led to the failure.

18 Nov 93

Wow. Chapter 2 is finally completed. It has been well over a year since I finished the introduction and Chapter 1, and over nine months since I outlined the remaining chapters. It's hard to believe how little time and effort went into the book during that period, especially since it is a priority task for me. However, I also believe that it is not for us to force the timing, but to allow for the universe to set the timing from its center of perfection. We will be driven to do what we must do when it is right for the task to be done -- and not until that time. We can choose what we want to manifest -- and then take action to do it, but we are to read the reflections sent back to us in feedback, and adjust our actions appropriately. We can manifest anything that we choose, provided we are willing to be flexible and do whatever it takes to make it so. The only way we know whether we've done what it takes is by looking at the results. There is another way, however, the way of Truth. In this way, we state what we want to be -- imagine it as already so, and trust that the law of spirit will make it so in flesh. The process is magic. The magic of reality creation, the law of Mind in accord with the law of God.

30 Nov 93

Busy with the book and then the holidays so there was no time for just writing down my thoughts. Interesting discussion for several hours with Ed Fong yesterday. The main topic of discussion revolved around the idea of individual freedom and choice within a society. I explored the concept that life is a play that is already written and our free choice only involves how we interpret the events of the play, not what events will occur. Even where individual choices appear to be made these choices too may be part of the play -- already predetermined. Our sensation always makes it appear that we choose, so from within the play we have no real way of knowing whether we do or not. It's a matter of belief. Since our reality is primarily emotional -- how we feel about things, we still create our own reality. However, the event part of life happens much like we speak, automatically. It flows out though we know not how or even where it comes from. It's as if we were actors and our lines come into our minds through a memory that involves a different part of our minds. At some level we know our complete parts. We just don't allow the conscious part to be aware of anything more than is needed for each particular moment in time.

We also talked about the coming shift in consciousness. It can happen in a moment. It's a matter of reaching a critical mass. Even that may not be required. If the play is being written and rewritten by consciousness in the moment, then there is no reason the present scene can't just end, and the next scene jump to a new time and set of props that have as much reality as the current set. What we see in the current set is not the awareness of any particular consciousness, it is only the present roles that consciousness currently expresses itself within. Reality is a grand game of expression. Consciousness always plays with itself. We're only now realizing just how grand of a game it is. What one believes about the game is truly all that matters. We are here to be and to feel. The fabric of our reality is emotional for the most part. We are free to interpret events in any way we desire. However, we are not free to deviate from our chosen roles. Interesting, very interesting. Our jobs, our friends, our schools, nearly everything in our lives are all predetermined in a very real way. The Plan unfolds as it always has, completely in the moment, as dictated by the consciousness of All That Is. Wow. Now, life is much more simple and yet incredibly rich at the same time. I can be happy without striving for anything, knowing that whatever happens is perfect because the Plan is perfect, trusting in where the Plan will take me. Whatever conditions I happen to meet with are fine, they are part of the play -- they are just events and circumstances. They have nothing to do with me, with whom I am, they are just things that happen. I determine what they mean and how I feel as a result. Others can interpret things as they will. I am now detached -- fully present in what I do, but detached from results over which I have no control anyway. It is not my actions which determine the course of events, but my feelings and emotions. What makes a play interesting is the emotions evoked, not the particular scenery or the specific events. These are just the background.

Wow. What wonderful stuff. What a fabulous realization. The world is much brighter today. I can play my role knowing that it is right for me in every moment, and that it will change and unfold in a perfect manner because it is the Plan in action. One cannot tell from the conditions what level of understanding anyone has reached. What matters is the pursuit of happiness. Regardless of circumstances, all are free to pursue happiness. Gandhi was a powerful wayshower. Conditions on Earth can change in a heartbeat. They only persist so long as there are lessons to learn for which the present set of props provide the appropriate circumstances. But it is consciousness as a whole that is learning. The pieces learn as well, but they are already parts of one whole in truth. The only thing that allows the separation to occur is a lack of realization. But realization occurs in an instant, and all occurs HERE and NOW. There is no other time or place. True consciousness is Beyond Mind. It is reached by getting away from the frivolities and diversions of mind into the space of true being -- the watcher of the cosmic play, aware but detached from the world. Hmm, very interesting. We'll have to see what applying this yields in the coming days and weeks. I will do what I must do, because this is the role I selected. Further, I will enjoy it dearly, because such is my freedom to choose. The circumstances mean nothing in and of themselves, they are just circumstances. Meaning is applied by the consciousness involved, period. Actors are aware of the roles they are playing and enjoy whatever parts they have been privileged to get. It matters not whether they are rich or poor, educated or not -- each role has its special value to the play. Each role is important and must be filled for the play to be complete. It's all temporary, and the actors go back to being who they are once the play is over. They can then compete for other roles that are suited to their talents, abilities, and interests.

I think I'm really onto something here. It makes for a very good way to look at life. What matters is the growth of consciousness -- and consciousness grows by interpreting things emotionally and assigning meaning to experience. What matters is the understanding through which meaning is applied. There is no inherent meaning to anything. It is always applied by those who are involved in the experience. Yes, the course of events is impacted by the meanings that are applied, because that is the feedback method by which consciousness understands what is needed be each entity. These needs are then met as part of the process of reality creation in the play. Yes events and circumstances are reality too. The play is real -- but it is also illusion. It's all a matter of perspective, and perspective always involves awareness.

Enough for now. So be it! In accord with the Plan! Wayne

Copyright © 1995, Wayne Hartman, Revised -- (2 Sep 95)