3 Nov 94
From my current understanding, I will experience what I experience. That is, you could say, it is out of my control. Interesting viewpoint for one who believes that we create our own reality. However, my personal experience is that this happens via subconscious and/or superconscious processes, not conscious processes. At least, I have not yet reached a level of awareness where these processes are conscious. Whether they will ever be, I do not know firsthand or by the direct observation of anyone else.
5 Nov 94
I am a trailblazer. Repeating what I or others have already done is not part of my agenda in this existence. We must move on to the next monition of consciousness. Ever forward in search of Truth, in search of the Nature of our own Self, such is our neverending quest, such is the very purpose of our lives. I speak in the plural because I know there are others who are tapped into the ONE, Source, Superconscious, or Universal Consciousness. Actually, I speak somewhat in the blind, for I have not studied the terminology of those disciplines involved with consciousness. I prefer to describe my experience and understanding in my own terms. Actually, to be honest, consciousness uses the terms from my vocabulary in describing these things. However, this is not bothersome either, since consciousness has guided me to acquire this vocabulary over the course of my life anyway. I've always had trouble deciding that I wanted to do something and then doing the routine day after day practice necessary to get proficient. Nearly all of my life the things that I've done have come naturally. The talents were already there.
6 Nov 94
I'm open to what consciousness would create though me. I have seen the beauty of spirit that comes from living in accord with the principal "not my will but Thine be done". Though I am still stuggling with the idea of free will, my current choice is to freely give my will to spirit. She already provides me with everything that I could ever need. She has for all of my life. I wonder how many others understand this, how many others know firsthand of their direct relationship to consciousness, to Source? My sense is that very few have such an awareness. Why would this be? It has to be because of the TIME. The time marks the level of awareness.
7 Nov 94
I need to be more open and playful, allowing consciousness to move more fluidly between numbers using an inner logic that makes sense symbolically though it may not appear to be rational. Not that what I've been doing for the past six months is rational, but now that I can fly to a degree greater than ever, what I bring back needs to a free canvas on which to express with no preconceived notions about how symbols must be connected. The web is intricately woven, and the process by which this occurs is simple in principle but complex in application. In the coming weeks and months, it is time to start bringing information on that process through this channel. Always the words will be accompanied by direct experience, so you will be writing about what you know or have experienced firsthand. We find it is much easier that way. Further, there is really no other way for spiritual evolvement once you reach the level of awareness that you have reached.
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The role I am to play has been predestined, and it is consciousness not I who truly plays that role. I participate and watch and learn and increase in awareness in the process, but the actor who plays this role follows a script that I did not create. Yes, I chose to play this part, but to what degree? An actor plays his role in a play, associating his attention with the character he plays, saying his lines and performing his assigned actions. The actor however is not the character, regardless of how many times the role is played or how deeply the actor gets into the part. In fact, the actor may even realize things about his own nature as a result of his playing of his role. But in our roles in life, how far does the analogy stretch? While we are playing our roles, how into them do we have to be? When we become aware of being aware, when we know that we are consciousness and not form, then what? How do the rules change? We are still incarnate. We are still in the play. But, we are no longer of the world. We know it is a Play, mere illusion. Ok, it is still very real -- and our physical bodies are definitely subject to the laws and rules of the illusion. Yet, what are we to do. Free will has all but vanished. My only choice seems to be with where I place my attention, and even that may not involve choice. Yes, it takes some of the fun out of the game. However, the real action is not in the game, it is in consciousness. That's the key. It doesn't matter what something does in the illusion. What matters is spirit and the spiritual world. Seek that first and all else shall come unto you. Yet, how few believe the simple truths of spirit. Personal responsibility has been one of the biggest obstacles. It is the one thing that continuously supports the idea of separation and prevents any real movement towards ONE. Even the metaphysics community has it all wrong. Individual responsibility is not enough unless we add the idea that there is only one individual. And that, is a huge addition that most people are not willing to swallow.
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Consciousness would not waste it's time to enter form unless it could express itself in a new and unique way and learn something about itself in the process. There must be something wonderful that is being created in the physical. So long as I treated it as illusion, and lesser than spiritual reality, I looked with blinders. There is nothing wrong with creation. No, it is not pure being, but it has a beauty and a wonder all its own. How can one look at the earth and her web of life and not marvel at the glory of ONE who could create such a planet? And, further, looking up into the sky at night, ONE who could create such a UNIVERSE. Yes uni-verse, one verse. Even considering these bodies that house our spirits during this earthly sojourn, one must stand in awe of the abilities, functions, talents, wisdom, and organization of such vessels.
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That's it. The spiritual directive is to be in this world but not of it. My sense is that I have neglected being here due to my preference of flying in the spiritual worlds. Actually, I sense that there is not so much difference as I had imagined. The physical and spiritual are clearly intertwined, for it was the VERSE, the WORD, that created the World. Interesting that this should be so. And numerology helps me to understand the Word, so that I may understand the World from the side of spirit verses illusion. There is an elaborate farce going on. Philosophers and their focus on cause/effect are part of the cause. The greater cause however is the level of awareness of the society as a whole. Here, it is not clear what drives what. It is almost as if there is a worldwide spiritual agenda that needs to be learned. My sense is that the ONE has been holding up the show, the creation so to speak since it was formed. Now, it is seeking to endow at least part of it's creation with the keys so that it can go off and do other things. With the keys comes true freedom and free will. However, before the handoff the many will have had to take significant strides towards becoming ONE.
This gets into the idea of levels of Gods. The test for level one is creating like unto one's own image. How did God do that? Creating man was not sufficient, for man, the animal, is not even remotely in the image of God. No, the creation also had to include the conditions for the evolution of awareness within man to the point of being in the image of the awareness of God. Curious note image = I M Age = I Am Age = Aquarian Age. One of the conditions of this is that a critical mass of us will have to realize that we are ONE. When this happens, we'll have a massive planetary transformation.
9 Nov 94
It is easy to get lost in such, given the very nature of the illusion that fills the world that we currently appear to exist within. Our very words seem inadequate to describe how all of this works. Yet it is the words, and the vibrations thereof, that create things to be exactly as they are. Everything has meaning. While it appears that much of our vocabulary was created at random, such could not be further from the case. Nothing is random. Nothing is accidental. Nothing happens by chance. This doesn't mean that we can predict it all, or even explain how it happened after it does. What it means is that there is an underlying God, Consciousness, or Spiritual Entity of some type that created the world and directs the Play that is occuring on this world stage. Further, this is not some remote overseer role, but a deeply personal one that is directly attuned to every individual.
14 Nov 94
My sense from all this is that this truly is Wayne's World, and that the key comes from focus on spirit, on the Word from which all that is springs into existence. This Word comes from Source, consciousness herself, and is expressed through each of us in accord with our level of awareness and our willingness to align ourselves with this Source. Do we actually have the ability to do other than this? My concept of free will at the present does not permit such. Yet, there is a sense that spirit should not be enslaved in such a manner. Then again, enslaved in the illusion does not mean enslaved in the spiritual realm. Every action is chosen or agreed to by all parties at an other than conscious level. There is a question of how far in advance the reality game is scheduled. Within the overall plan, how much freedom is allowed for personal experience? Even in our games, the players make choices and then are presented with future experiences based on these choices. Is our reality game so fixed that we need firm scripts? Or, is there some way to loosely tie relatively independent pieces together? That is, did consciousness create rules/programs to govern behavior? Perhaps some types of behavior and not others. How much of the physical game is played out in the physical? How much thought/reasoning takes place via rules in the physical brain?
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It does not appear that in the history of Western Thought since the Ancient Greeks anyone has come up with a reasonable explanation of how thoughts are generated. Further, Krishnamurti's work specifically advocated going beyond thought, beyond mind, to pure consciousness. It's the consciousness that is important in the end, that which watches, and ultimately that which creates via the Word and thought. It is true that thoughts create reality in the world. What is missing is that only consciousness can create thoughts and there is only one consciousness.
15 Nov 94
The bottom line is that we experience what we believe we will experience regardless of what this is. Our thoughts and experiences are the means by which consciousness injects inputs to our conscious minds that drive us to question and change our beliefs. This continuous cycle promotes ever growing self-awareness, and ultimately Self-awareness, allowing spirit to be expressed to ever increasing degrees in our lives.
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Right now, my life is essentially on automatic. Things happen and sort of take care of themselves. I'm involved but not concerned with outcomes of any kind. In particular, I don't engage in activities that require emotional involvement with outcomes. The bottom line is whatever happens happens and there is nothing that can be done about it. How's that for the ultimate view of predestination. One of the first questions that comes to mind is: what if I'm wrong? Basically I'll have wasted my life, when I could have been "doing" something. But, I am doing something. I'm just not deciding consciously what to do. I'm trusting that spirit will move me to do exactly what needs to be done. It's as if I'm a puppet animated by consciousness herself, except that I am a part of consciousness myself.
21 Nov 94
So what does it all mean? It means that all is in its right place. It means that the Plan is indeed working its way in the world. It means that there is a spiritual base on which the whole illusion exists. Meaning occurs at multiple levels. Spiritual meaning is there "for those with the eyes to see and ears to hear". One might say that this meaning is hidden, embedded in reality in such a way that it is not obvious to most people. Actually, this is not completely correct. The key problem is with the will. While one chooses to be the master of one's fate, one's eyes are blind and ears are deaf to the help which spirit would provide. One only has to renounce one's will for Thy Will to see the world in a new Light. A host of angels comes forth to guide one along whatever path be right for one's highest growth and for the completion of one's purpose. There are many who are unaware that they even have a purpose within a larger scheme or Plan for existence. Yet, such is indeed the case. How, 5 and 1/2 billion of us could have such purpose stretches even my imagination, something not very easy to do, as any of you who have followed these writings can attest to.
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Lately, I've found that operating from the whole brain is the key. Both the intuition and the reason have their fortes and their weaknesses. The self operates best when the parts cooperate, each performing what they do best. This requires some amount of training and coercing as these parts are not used to dealing with one another at all, much less cooperating with each other.
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One of the key stumbling blocks toward establishing a new nation is the distribution of goods and services. This is the age old problem. Greed stands in the way. In addition, many people do not understand the right that each person has to what they need within society. One of societies challenges is to efficiently and effectively meet these needs. Creating goods and services means that people have to work. Sharing the required work fairly over the population will clearly be a challenge, however, there is no reason that there can't be an abundance for all. The only limit is the imagination of the people in providing goods and services that are truly of value and utility to the members of the community. Whether this can work in a completely free market is a big question. My sense is that some level of review of new products and services will be needed. Also, there is a question of whether market forces should be moderated in the areas of technology infusion, especially where infrastructure is involved. The whole idea of capital and profit as incentive for investment is suspect as well. Yes, we need sound fiscal decisions; however, the bottom line is more of resource commitment, human and factory. Another issue is how much competition and choice is enough. One answer is that the system itself will determine that by forcing anyone that can't compete out of business. But, do I really need to be able to choose from 10 brands of Corn Flakes? Maybe not. But, how many is enough? And, what's to say that subtle differences in the products not noticeable to you aren't noticeable to others? There is still something missing. Agreed, nowhere in the world are there anything like American supermarkets. They epitomize a nation that worships individual choice and free enterprise.
Ah, there's the rub. We are for the most part a nation of individuals, to a great extreme. As such, we have no real collective unity, and definitely have no collective vision. With a presidency of four years, there really is not enough time (1) to develop and express a vision, and (2) build the coalition necessary to even start getting the vision expressed. Further, given the diverse nature of the individuals in the constituency, finding a vision that even a majority of them could agree on is no easy task.
22 Nov 94
Interesting how much trust I place in consciousness. There is no person with whom I have such trust, but this entity inside whom I cannot see, I hold as dear as any man can hold anything. She is my source and my inspiration, my protector, and anything else that you might care to name. My teacher, my confessor, my lover, my friend -- all these she is and much more. How could I be lonely with her ever at my side. Oh, to live the Hermit life is not such a bad thing. Then again, it takes a certain character to be able to endure. It's not always been easy. Yet, in all ways that truly matter, there has never truly been any hardship. Challenge at times, yes; but hardship, definitely not.
You might say that my faith borders on zealousness. It is definitely extreme among those in the profession in which I work. Then again, there is the fanaticism of the religious right -- perhaps the "religious wrong" is more appropriate. Then again, tolerance of the views of others is the mark of an advanced soul. That doesn't mean we have to either agree to or even understand where they are coming from. Am I an "advanced soul"? I just picked the words from a couple of sentences previous. Perhaps I am. Then again, perhaps not. At the very least, I am different. Nearly anyone who has any awareness of me is aware of that. Strange, weird, looney ... are but a few of the terms that might be applied. The bottom line is that it does not matter. I am what I am. Moreover, I am WHOM THAT I AM. This I cannot change, I can only express to an ever increasing degree.
26 Nov 94
A new day is coming, one that will be quite different than most expect. Looking at the world scene, however, it is not clear that people are ready for a massive spiritual change. So, how do we reconcile this? How do we deal with a knowingness that has no confirmation in the real world? Many would say that I am crazy, that operating out of faith in intuition and consciousnesness herself is not a rational way of living ones life. Yet, who says one must life one's life rationally? The choice is not between rational and irrational, the world is not black and white; there are indeed many shades of gray -- shades that allow one to employ all of one's capabilities and live by faith as well as by reason.
27 Nov 94
Everywhere I turn, the things that most attract my attention are media with a message. Whether this be via video or audio is not important. What is important is that spiritual messages are being presented to wide audiences in the context of entertainment. I'm surprised that there hasn't been more of a outcry from religions. However, this may be because it is very hard to fight against songs and movies expressing anything from a spiritual perspective when so many appear to do just the opposite. The religion that would try to take on Elton John's "Circle of Life" for preaching that: all are agreed that a chief rule of life is "to never take more than you give", would be extremely foolish That is such a fundamental principle of balance that it is hard to imagine that anyone could disagree with it.
30 Nov 94
Throughout these notes statements come out point blank in declarative form, many times offering no proof or even rationale for what is stated. It's as if the statements come from a source of direct knowingness where their truth is so obvious that they need nothing more than to be expressed. Personally, I don't necessarily agree with some of what comes through. When I read the notes I find ideas that conflict with my own belief system on occasion, and I don't necessarily alter my beliefs to align with the statements. One has to find a place within where personal direct knowing occurs and accept only those things which align with that inner knowingness. When we talk about the nature of reality [the illusion] there are so many ways of looking at things that there can be no one set of absolute truths. When we deal with spirit and spiritual reality, that is a whole other thing, but don't confuse spirit with religion.