I made a new friend last night ... via an encounter at Spirit Web Chat. This is the kind of thing that verifies to me that we are creating our experiences at a very deep level on a regular basis. Anyway, she was moved to do a reading for me. I'd like to take this opportunity to provide feedback on what the reading meant to me for three reasons -- one, to provide feedback to my new friend on how accurate and insightful her reading was; two, to permit me to open up and share at a new level for me; and three, to provide an example of the kinds of exchanges that constitute increased expression of spirit in flesh. After all, I am a wayshower. The bold italicized text is from the reading.

doing a reading on you...seems that your complete happiness has recently been overturned

This is true. I was on a major high in March and April as evidenced by the nature of material that was coming through. Realizations were happening at a pace that was unreal and I was in 7th heaven as the saying goes. However, this led to a crash at the end of April that I'm only now recovering from. I am not as happy now by a long shot. There is an awareness that something is missing in my life ... something that I am no longer willing to live without.

...that the internal ease you are capable of feeling may be blocked by a struggle to gain strength...and in your challenge position you find an over preoccupation with physical circumstances or realities...

Indeed, physical circumstances, bills, and physical reality have required an inordinate amount of my time and attention. This is very draining. It is hard to fly with such chains. For most of my life, there has been an internal ease. Nearly everything flows easily or comes easily for me. Over the few months, it has been much more work just to be able to function effectively.

in your consciousness you come through as a Hermit, as you mentioned...way shower...

Very much so. Hermit would be the first label I would apply to myself. It is the most accurate depiction I can think of. I live in the high mountains of Spirit and come down to share my light on occasion.

time to look back at the road you've travelled and see how it is that you shine the light for future travellers...

This is exactly what I've been doing this year. I've been looking back and assessing where I've been and creating pages that make it easier for other to experience some of the light that I've found and shared in my journey.

subconsciously you struggle with ways to show your spiritual strengths to the world....

This is a constant struggle. I know that I have a spiritual mission to perform and that I have the "spiritual strengths" needed to carry this out. But it is not clear how to demonstrate this to the right others in a manner that allows me to secure a position from which to do my work effectively. But then, it is not yet clear that securing a position is necessary. When the time is right and when I am ready, it will just happen.

you have just been through a balancing period,

Very much so. That is what the past three months have been about. I went off the deep end at the end of April with an extreme of mania. It took three months to reach a new balance point from which I can function effectively again.

internally that is, a time of taking personal inventory and seeking out what works for you...

Yes. I had to completely relearn what works and what doesn't. I was like a kid again, fascinated with the world, constantly looking for my limits and challenging them. The bottom line was discovering what worked for me now. I found that the new level of awareness was different. Things that worked before no longer worked ... I was not happy doing the same things in the same ways anymore.

moving towards a period of being emotionally supportive for others and owning that you've gained recognition with your emotional work...

This is the one area most missing from my life. I so long to be of service to others in a way that comes from the HEART. But, as a hermit, there are few others to be cooperatively interdependent with.

i see that your heart is broken and that this still looms large in your life...a triangle of sorts...a situation that robs you of inner peace...pause

Yes, this has been true for a long time. I long for a closeness in relationships that I have never found. I feel it as a knowingness that something extremely important is missing in my life. My marriage does not feel this need. My inner relationship with spirit does not suffice either. While I am calm overall, this lack does indeed rob me of inner peace. In fact, it is the only thing I am aware of that keeps me from experiencing such peace.

finishing reading...the outer environment pushes you to take a look at what stagnates your energy...

Exactly right. My world is the mirror that forces me to look at this aspect. Where my energy is stagnant, so is the worlds. I am here to see where spirit flows and where it is stagnant and help free up any blockages that exist. My environment is where I am able to see these blockages.

it seems you are at a point where you see that you can be immobilized by what crosses your heart...

With a name of Hartman [Heart man], how could I expect anything else. Also, my middle name comes out to 57 = 3 of Swords = Heart with Three Swords through it. Much of my mission is directly related to what crosses my heart.

you desire to move into a career/home life that more closely reflects your connection to nature...

This has been a constantly growing desire for three years now.

you need nurturing and you seek to move it into your outer reality rather than holding the knowledge internally...

This is true. I have been nurtured inwardly all of my life. My sense is that it is time for this to change. This requires getting more and giving more in the outer reality and not relying so exclusively on the inner for sustenance and fulfillment. Also, this forces me to pay attention to the world where my true work is to be done.

the outcome is that you come to see that you are at a crossroads..and that you no longer benefit by keeping yourself back...

Yes, I've realized this. One phase of the journey is completed. It is time to move on to the next phase. This requires being more of whom that I AM.

you have gained all you could from holding yourself in your current predicament...

I sense this as well. I have learned what I could learn. It's time for a NEW ADVENTURE!

you prefer to reprogram the voices in your head at all costs rather than following patterns that clearly do not work for you...

Such is indeed my preference. I refuse to keep following patterns that don't work. Enough is enough.

your outcome is to give in wholeheartedly to spirit...to let go of all you know to be true...and find what's in store for you...

Once again it has come to this. Another jump off the cliff and plunge into the unknown. Yet, every time I have done this too date, I have been incredibly pleased by where spirit next led me.

you may find that your world is turned upside down...

My world has been upside down for some time now. But, I get the point. Each major change in the past has effectively led to a whole new world.

than sleeping dogs do waken....and that you hold the strength to face your demons

In my heart, I know this to be true. There is nothing to fear. We never give ourselves more than we can handle ... though it may appear that this is not the case at times. The adventure called life can be a real challenge at times.

Thank you Rebecca for doing this reading!

Be Happy and Create Well!

LOVE,

Wayne