I've been returning a lot to the writings that came forth in 1993-1996. It is as if I need to reconnect to the states of consciousness that I was experiencing those days with the added insight gained from my awakenings in the past two years. Exactly why still remains to be seen, but there is a sense that this is indeed what is happening.

The writing is a bit strained now. There is no clear sense of what I am to communicate to whom. I just feel like writing and trusting that what comes out will be exactly what is meant to be expressed. This is how it used to be. Why should it be any different now? That indeed is the question. It can only be answered by letting go and letting it flow.

There is a difference now. There is a sense that spirit flows more directly through my actions now. It is as if my choices are spirits' choices. Before, there was a sense that there was no choice. Now, it seems that choice is a means through which spirit gets expressed in the world. There are still many apparent choices that are not real. However there are also some choices that are real, that do have an impact on the degree to which spirit can be expressed and on the specific nature of that expression. This was not part of my experience before. Now, there is a deep sense that it must be.

I've been seeing a lot of completion numbers that indicate that one phase of my life is coming to an end and another major phase is about to begin. Exactly what numbers is not important. My methods of finding meaning via numbers are already well documented in the Notes. Though, I have not yet found others that use similar methods.

I'm still finding myself drawn to television and movies to see what the mass consciousness is being exposed to. Last night, I watched the movie Contact again. It is one of my all time favorites. It was particularly startling to see that a 30 billion dollar project resulted in a single person having an extraordinary experience that changed her state of awareness of spirit. The sense I had as I watched was that it does indeed take extraordinary commitment to have such experiences and to reach such spiritual states. If it were easy, the world would be a much different place than it is. My first inclination was to say "better" place, but that implies a value judgement. The world is PERFECT as it is. Reality is unfolding as it must. Spirit is expressing to the degree that it can. All this is happening NOW. We don't have to wait for it to unfold at some time in the future. We can be all that we are here and now. We can express spirit at every moment of every day. In fact, we can't do other than that unless we so choose. That is the point ... unless we so choose.

Here, we are not just talking about subconscious choice, and about automated responses. Rather, we are talking about conscious choice. In particular, conscious choice of the level of spirit that we permit to express through us. In many cases, this involves a choice to allow our intuition more voice in our lives. Intuition, the inner voice of spirit, is our closest connection to source. It provides the surest guide for our actions in the world. However, it takes some discipline to hear it clearly. If we are not careful, it gets colored by filters that our subconscious and conscious place on it. Becoming clear is no easy task, but it is well worth the effort.

So, what is it that I choose to create now? The bottom line is that I'm not sure. Actually, it's more than that. I have no real idea nor desire to create anything specifically. I just know that things need to change again ... that I am not happy with the status quo ... that I am not fully engaging my talents and abilities in service to the society that I dream will be. Part of this is within my control to create, other parts will happen automatically as they always have in my life.

The year 2000 rapidly approaches. It seems that this should usher in some major changes throughout the world. We'll have to see whether it really does or not. The ways of the world seem too set for any major change to occur. The economy in this country has never been better for most people. There just does not seem to be any clear drivers. Yes, there are problems. Even major problems. But it is not clear that these need to be dealt with in the immediate future. The effort needed to resolve the problems will be applied when it is time and not before. Collectively we need to decide what we are willing to accept as reality and what we are not and choose to do what it takes to eliminate the things we don't want.

There is a sense that I must be patient and allow things to unfold as they will, doing my part by engaging my abilities to do what I am moved to do. This is hard to do when one's mind races with the possibilities of what could be. Yet, it is important to in some way be satisfied with what is. This is necessary to make room for the possibilities to become actualities. Interesting. There is a sense that we must be willing to give up key parts of what we have in order to have more. It is as if we are crossing a stream by moving from rock to rock and must leave behind the previous one to be free to step to the next one. Let go of what you are, that you may become more. Such is the directive of spirit. It is ego that keeps us attached to what we are and the states with which we are familiar. We must be bold and adventurous to go beyond self to find Self and ultimately SELF. The journey is difficult but very rewarding should we choose to make it. I know first hand what following the path of spirit entails. I would not give up what I have experienced since 1993 for anything.

I'm still very much a hermit, primarily living in my own world, with limited involvement with the consensus world that others know. It is not that I do not see that world, but rather that my attention is focussed in other directions. The reality that I experience is directly due to what I believe and where I place my attention. Both of these involve choices that I am free to make. What I do, others are free to do also. The key reason for this expression is to show the way that others might experience some of what I have experienced in their lives. These words, these thoughts, these expressions of consciousness are the footprints or mindprints that I have left in the world. They are posted here on the internet for all who are drawn to see. Such is the way of my life. I am a spiritual warrior, doing battle with the demons of illusion in search of the truth of Self and SELF, the ONE consciousness that animates us all.

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!

LOVE,

Wayne