It's been awhile since I was last moved to write. I've been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things. It's as if my life has been on hold. I'm waiting for what the next step in the way should be yet at the same time it seems as if it should be automatic. I don't have any basis from which to know how to act other than to trust my intuition. Life has become somewhat boring. I'm tired of the routine. Yet, I have not yet been moved to change it. Yes, it is my choice that is involved. But, I chose what I am MOVED to do ... and it is SPIRIT HERSELF that does the moving. So, why does she not move me yet? Perhaps because I am not ready to be moved or the time is not yet right.

That's OK, I trust that it will all work out in the long run. Now, I am focused on finding a way to enjoy the process and build my connection with my intuition. Writing does that for me. It provides a means for me to express that which is pent up inside of me awaiting to be expressed. Whether it has any other value is for you to decide. It is enough for me that I allow these words to spring forth magically from my fingers. Yes, it is still a MAGIC process for me. I have no understanding of how this expression is manifest. I marvel at what can be expressed. The creativity of our beings is amazing to behold when we allow it to do the work that only it can do.

Why do I write? Primarily because it stirs my soul to do so. Also, simply because I am moved to write. I must do it. No, there is no one twisting my arm. But, there is a voice inside my head that desires to be heard. I hear it best by allowing it to flow forth onto these pages. There is something about the permanance of manifesting it in this manner that makes it real. It is more than a series of passing thoughts in my head. There is a written record that can be read again and again to revisit a state of mind that I was in.

When I am writing, my Self is best tied to my SPIRIT. This is when I feel most alive. The outer world permits experience, but the inner one creates meaning. At least, that is how it is for me. Now, it is the inner world of meaning that is most important in my life. This has been true for most of my life, but especially since my awakening in 1993. I have been introverted and intuitive all of my life and probably will continue to be so from all indications that I've had to date. Yet, here I am out there explaining as best I can whom that I am and how life works for me.

I have no basis for comparing how I perceive things to how others perceive things. I have not interacted with others sufficiently to know how they think and experience life. My life is very solitary. I spend the majority of my time alone. It has always been thus. We'll have to see whether it will always be thus or not. I still live inside of my head much of the time. Lately, I have been moved to watch a lot of television and movies. They provide a major input to me in understanding what messages are being presented to the masses through the creative people in the entertainment industry. What can I say. That is where my attention is being drawn at this time. In 1993, the tide had turned the other way, and I wasn't watching any television at all. To some degree, television is my major connection to the world. It is one of the major things that ties me to the reality that others are experiencing. Though, it is not clear that we are seeing the same thing when we watch the same program. What we take away from a program depends on how we interact with the program. I'm constantly searching for hidden meaning, subtle meaning, and even obvious meaning in everything that I observe.

I'm not sure that I am making the most of my life ... or living life to it's fullest. It is as if I'm watching it go by rather than engaging myself in what life would offer. I'm not sure how to change gear however. Change is tough. But, there is an inner sense that it is not only required but immanent. There is also an inner sense that the way will be natural. Though, my experiences in 1993 and again in 1998 demonstrate that the "natural" way may be quite out of the ordinary and may even be a bit crazy. I have two major experiences of being out of my mind. Both of these I consider to be positive experiences though people in my life may have seen them as otherwise.

How am I different now than I was prior to 1993. For one thing, I have had a major body of works flow through me into physical expression. Two, I see myself and the world quite differently. I am aware of my Self in ways that I did not even know existed before. Three, I am awake to the spiritual world that is embedded in the physical one. Four, I have realized that ONE consciousness animates us all. This is how God can be omni-present. There is nothing but God in expression. But, consciousness herself is God observing God in expression. We have a give and a take here, a creative thrust accompanied by a receptive observation. Such is the way of life. Hmm ... isn't that an interesting way of looking at it.

Be Happy and Create Well!

LOVE,

Wayne