This makes the first musing of April.  I was doing pretty good for over a week, and then nothing for awhile again.  Oh well, things are like that sometimes.  We take what we can when we can.  We allow spirit to express through us in her timing not ours.  She knows what she is doing.  She knows what needs to be expressed when.  There is always a give and a take.  A delicate balance needs to be maintained.  Yet, we should always err on the side of giving too much ... for when you get down to it, it is spirit herself doing the giving through us, and her resources are inexhaustible when compared to ours. 

Work continues to be a challenge.  But, in many ways, it also seems to be a waste.  I work with many talented and capable folks.  The system, however, is not set up for us to effectively get products and services from the contractors that ultimately work for us.  Something is wrong about this.  Everyday there are more fires to fight, more crises of the day to address.  It's literally exhausting to do this day in and day out.  On most days, I go into work with little clue of what I am going to do that day, and then I allow the day to unfold as it will.  Nearly always, that means being drawn into several meetings on various topics.  There is so much to do that I barely have time to keep track of what the people who work for me are doing.  I'll have to make time for that somehow.

So, what would be expressed today?  I love the freedom that this stream of consciousness provides.  Here, source can express as she will to whatever audience would find this expression.  I noticed yesterday that a Google search of Wayne Hartman brings up links to several Beyond Imagination pages.  I haven't tried other search engines or keywords.  At one time, hundreds of Beyond Imagination pages were indexed so that key phrases brought up many pages as well.  This doesn't seem to be the case anymore.  I don't know how to fix this.  My preference is to continue to come here and express what has not been expressed before.  That is how I can make the grandest contribution to the world.  I am a writer, or a scribe of spirit, or perhaps both.  These works are the gift that I provide back to the world in exchange for all that the world provides unto me.  I will continue to do so as long as spirit moves me to do this.  How long that will be is anyone's guess.  But, my sense is that it will be for quite some time.

Love the life you live, live the life you love.  Both of these statements are powerful admonitions of spirit.  The first is primarily an attitude change.  The second is a lifestyle change ... it involves a lack of willingness to settle for anything less than a life you love.  Right now, it seems that I am not doing either of these.  I am somewhat in-between, neither happy nor sad with my present life but not doing what it takes to find our what I most love to do and doing it.  Why do we settle so?  Why do we accept less than can be?  And, in particular, less than we can be?  Interesting questions.  But I'm not here just to ask questions, I'm here to provide answers, at least to those questions that matter most.  However, I can only offer my answers, not the answers, for there are no the answers for the things that matter most, especially spiritually.  The mind and emotions may play their games, but the spirit will have none of this, she goes straight to the heart of the matter.

What changes would I make to my life?  I can imagine a better work environment ... though I am still learning a lot from my present job situation.  It seems that so long as it is interesting, and so long as I am learning, I may have to stay for awhile and take advantage of what is to be learned from this vantage point.  Besides, I haven't figured out how to replace my income yet.  That too will come in time.  Until then, there is always my perspective to work on.  I don't always have an attitude of gratitude that is appropriate for recognizing all of the wonderful things that I do have in my life.  I often see the glass half empty rather than half full.  Further, I see the world as the 48:The Man in Search of More.  The five senses and the three minds are not enough for me.  I know there is something more.  I know there is something beyond what we presently experience.  And, I will not stop searching until I find that something.  At present, it seems that the unknown is the realm where this something beyond resides.  That is the realm that most entices me.  That is where I choose to engage.  Another thing missing from my life is friends.  I don't tend to make friends nor keep them very long.  I can blame some of this on my experiences growing up, and moving every year or two.  But blame serves no one in a world where we create our own reality ... and that is my world.  My choices allowed me to focus my attention and experience my life in a way unique to me.  I believe it also enabled the awakening experiences that I had in 1993, 1998, and 2005.  These experiences allowed me to connect with and tap a source within, and express what she would have to say through me.  It has been a wonderful ride, full of magic and mystery ... with no sign that it is to end.  Indeed, it seems that this is what my life is truly about.  At work, I earn a living.  But, it is via this expression that I truly live.  Interesting.  There is a big difference between earning a living and living.  It seems that living, expressing whom that we are as fully as we can, should be the means of earning a living for far more of us.  Why should we have to sell our bodies and minds and abilities to an employer?  Why isn't there a better way of assessing the worth of individuals?