20 March 2006
My life is still quite solitary. Yes, I interact with others at work, I have a wife and two furry kids that I see on weekends, and I have two housemates that I live with during the week. Yet, I spend the bulk of my time alone. I used to spend a lot of time each week engaged in this expression. Now, that is not so much the case, though it may pick up again at any time. In fact, there are signs that it is starting to pick up. I feel more and more moved to come here and express. Here, I am engaged in something that truly matters to me. I would hope that eventually, it matters to others as well. My desire is to work with like-minded others, with kindred spirits, to create a whole new world. Creating this new world may be as simple as providing a new vantage point from which to view aspects that are already present in the current world. Interpretation is everything. It is not like there is an objective world out there that we all experience. The world is subjective. It is something that we are an intimate part of. It can be no other way, try though we might. Here, you have the opportunity of seeing an aspect of how I see things. This is not the right way to see things ... it is only a way, in particular, my way. Each will have their own way.
Why do I express as I do here? Why do I allow source to come through my consciousness and my body in this manner? The first answer is because I can. Second, because such is what I am moved to do. I find it important to do what I am moved to do ... especially when the motivating force comes from within. For me, writing is what I do. I have said that I would like to be paid $1 per word for doing this. Perhaps such will ultimately be the exchange of energy that occurs. The bottom line is that spiritual law applies. We shall receive based upon what we give. We shall reap what we sow. When we give of whom that we are fully, without limit or restriction, the reward is abundance on all levels: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. However, in the world, sometimes it can take awhile for the abundance to kick in. It can be like a retirement account. We contribute into it year after year, and allow our investments to compound in interest, until we have enough assets to retire on. However, I have never had a sense that I'll be able to retire. I expect to be using my abilities in service in some way for as long as I live. What is not clear is how to do that in a manner that provides sufficient income to meet my needs. The sense is that it is time for a major change in my life once again. Whether that will happen this year, next year, or sometime later remains to be seen. Though, clearly, my preference is sooner. In fact, were it up to me, I would make the change immediately. However, I have obligations to my family ... financial obligations in particular. Hmm ... I hadn't considered that other obligations were just as real and as important if not more important. I give financially and mentally/spiritually, but do I give emotionally? As a loner, this is probably one of the most difficult areas for me. "Why waste a single day not doing exactly what it is that you love?" I just heard that on the TV. How appropriate! Indeed, that is how I feel. Though, there is also a fear/uncertainty that doing so will provide the income that I need. So, we have a sort of stalemate. I am moved to express, but not moved enough to act. What kind of a job would be exciting enough to make me want to jump up out of bed early to start each day? Clearly, my current job or life for that matter doesn't do this. There is a sense that this is my fault. This is my doing. This is my creation. And, for it to change, then I must change.
What do I do better than the vast majority? This very expression is where my strongest skills get utilized. But, what service does it provide? Or, how do I turn it into something that is of service? And, preferably, of great service to the world. I don't ask much of myself, now do I? A writer should earn his livelihood via writing. And, not just by writing anything ... but by creatively expressing the grandest works that he can express. Unlike many writers, I am not a storyteller. I don't know what to call this expression. It is what it is. It is a stream of consciousness that comes forth from source. To date, I have written and self-published nine Beyond Imagination books and probably have enough additional expression for another book. They are all stream of consciousness expressions. Combined, they literally contain several million words. They cost nearly $5000 to publish. That is only 1/5th of a cent per word. That is a small price to pay. It is even a smaller price when you consider that the cost to purchase all 9 books is less than $200. Unfortunately, few have purchased any of the books. I'm probably the only one who has read them all. Given that they were published in 2003, that is somewhat sad. It seemed so right when I found Infinity Publishing and was moved to self-publish. The name of the company seemed to be perfect, and the timing was appropriate. Oh well ... perhaps this was true after all. Perhaps it just takes time to manifest. "Nothing can stop an idea whose time has come." Do we have such ideas presented here? I would argue yes, we do ... we have many such ideas. However, how do we get them into the minds of people so that they can be moved to act in new and more beneficial ways?
LOVE,