Musings of a
Spiritual
Warrior
17 March 2006
Another day, another musing. What
would come forth this day. I never really know. This
expression is still very much a mystery. Perhaps it will always
be so. When you are dealing with the unknown, there is always an
element of surprise involved. That is good ... it keeps life
interesting. There is still a strong sense that my life is being
wasted doing things that are far beneath my natural abilities and
talents. I'm prostituting myself for a salary. That is not
what a job should require. We are more than that. We are
worthy of more than that. Yet, such is how it is ... or at least
how it appears to be. What more can I do? How do I
gravitate to my rightful place? Yes, that assumes that I am not
already there. And, indeed, such seems to be the case. I
don't ask for much ... abundance in exchange for applying my abilities
in a manner that is supportive of society. But, is what I am
doing enough? And, who within society is it supportive of?
Utopian thoughts have a tendency to be impractical. Is that true
of the thoughts that flow forth through me. What makes me
different than others? To what degree am I the same? What
constitutes being human?
I have chosen to live a life of spirit. Metaphysics plays an
important role in my life ... perhaps the most important. This
has been true since age 16. That is nearly 32 years or 2/3rds of
my life to date. And, it will probably remain true for the rest
of my life. There is a sense that this goes backwards and
forwards through many lifetimes as well. Though, I am not
consciously aware of what these might be, at least not yet.
I had an interesting night last night. It seems that I was in the
midst of a lucid dreaming experience in which I consciously was aware
of being aware of dreaming several times. Further, I remember
being able to influence the direction of the dreams via my intention
and choices. I've only experienced this a handful of times in my
life. This time seemed to be the strongest. I don't
remember the content of the dream anymore, but that doesn't really
matter. What is important is that I can dream in this manner, and
via such dreaming change my reality. There is a sense that I can
literally do anything my heart desires. The trick is to know what
my heart truly desires. Right now, communication is still
missing. Expression by itself is not necessarily
communication. Communication is between individuals. It is
a two entity process involving a sender and a receiver at least ... and
preferably a sender/receiver and another sender/receiver. Here, I
play the bipolar role of sender | receiver. I am the chief
recipient of this communication. "For
your eyes only" ... comes to mind again. Is that what this
is? And what if it is? What does that say about the nature
of consciousness and the preciousness of a single individual? We
don't have to worry about getting lost in the collective. The
Aquarian Age emphasizes individual freedoms, especially the freedom of
thought. Yet, how free are our thoughts? We don't
understand even the first principles of how thoughts are created.
For most of us, they just pop into our head, unless we are explicitly
reading them or hearing them. Most of us consider ourselves to be
rational beings. We think about what we are doing. Yet is
this really true? Are we as rational as we believe? My
guess would be no, far from it. Much of what we do comes from
relying on our intuition to get us through.
How do we create the reality that we prefer to experience? How do
we find the job/work that is truly meant for us to do? For change
to happen in our world, we must change ourselves in some way. For
major change, we must change ourselves in major ways. It is that
simple. But what changes are most in need of making? Those
we are most fearful of seem to be some of them. It takes courage
to make major changes. There is comfort in the routines of
life. Yet, it is a false sense of comfort ... it is a comfort
that imprisons us. It is time to be released from our chains and
be set free. But, this is something that we must do for
ourselves. It is our efforts to free ourselves that ultimately
allow us to spread our wings and fly. We are winged spirits
all. It is simply a matter of realizing this ... of making it
real to us. Enough of the generalities. What about
specifics? What would I do now to change my job / work
environment? What am I willing to give up? What am I
willing to take on? What am I willing to do differently?
How am I willing to BE differently? This later question is
key. Be AWARE as much as you can, with as grand of a perspective
as is possible for you to hold. In doing so, you allow yourself
to be the greatest channel for spirit that you can be. And,
ultimately that is what is important in the long run. What you
create is the legacy you leave. Many create and raise children
into adults. This is good. It perpetuates the species and
adds to its diversity. Others create works of various types too
numerous to even begin to enumerate. Still others create
services. The key is to find ways to create ... each and every
day. This is what keeps us young. This is what keeps us
kicking.
To truly live, we must be willing to take chances ... we must be
willing to risk ... we must be open to allowing the unknown to play an
active role in our lives. That doesn't mean being foolish or
stupid. That doesn't necessarily mean opening ourselves to
allowing seemingly bad things to enter our reality. Rather, it
means having the courage to be whom that we are and to express that as
we are moved to do without holding back unnecessarily.