The musings continue.  This makes #6 for the year to date.  What would consciousness bring forth through us this fine day.  As usual, the workdays continue to be busy.  But, now, it is my time and I choose to use it to serve as a voice for consciousness.  There is something about this stream of consciousness expression that captivates me.  Could I do it on a full time basis?  I don't really know.  At the present, I don't know how it would support me.  I'm accustomed to a decent income, one that I could not readily live without.  The saying "do what you love, and the money will follow" comes to mind.  But, I'm not sure that I believe that entirely.  Either that, or the money follows in ways that we might not expect ... like via the very jobs that I am moved to take.  My present job is like that.  It is far better than it was before.  But, is that enough.  There is still a sense that I am not fully utilizing my abilities and talents.  At the same time, I am learning and still developing new talents in my present job situation.  It seems that the universe has placed me where I need to be.  And, when I need to be elsewhere, the universe will so arrange it.  Yes, I place a lot of trust in "the universe".  But, it is a trust that is well-founded in experience.  It seems that regardless of what I do, my life works.  That has been true for all of my life.  Though, I would be the first to admit that I have been bored by the tedium of it all at times.  Then, there have been those moments of ecstasy as well, where I was soaring with spirit herself beneath my wings.  These have made everything worth it.  These are the defining moments of my life.

Surely, there will be more.  When they will come and how often remains to be seen ... but come they must, as surely as I must breath to survive in this body.  These defining moments constitute the part of my life that matters most.  Is this true for everyone?  Or, am I different somehow.  At this point, it does not matter.  I am what I am.  I become what I can become.  That is enough.  I will be moved to be all that I can be.  Why?  Simply because such is what I choose.  Yes, I choose.  Though, these choices often involve other than conscious parts of me.  Then, how do I know that I am doing the choosing?  Because I believe that I am and because I take full responsibility for my life.  This is not easy for many to do.  It means giving up the concept of blame.  There is no one other than myself choosing the reality that I experience.  There is therefore, no one to blame for anything, especially those things that I do not like in my reality.  It is for me to do what it takes to change what I do not like.  That, or decide to live with it anyway.  The bottom line is the choice is mine, it is always mine.  But, what about our dealings with others.  Here, we mutually create what we jointly choose to create.  But, how does that really manifest?  How do our joint wills blend to establish a joint reality?  That's an interesting way of looking at it.  Indeed, mass reality is a blending of the collective wills of all involved.  We each experience what we expect to experience at some level.  Often, however, this is not at a conscious level.  That is OK.  Other than conscious parts of us have an existence of their own.  In this existence, it seems that such parts are even more powerful than the conscious parts.  Again, is that true for the vast majority as well ... or am I special in how I experience reality?  Why should I be singled out as special in any way?  Primarily because I have chosen to live a life that is infused with spirit.  This is something that any of us can do.  It is all a matter of the focus of attention.  What we focus on is drawn into our lives, it is that simple.  It is also that complex.  Focus can be a difficult thing to maintain, especially for extended periods.  Yet, it can be the most natural thing in the world when we are doing things that capture our attention.  This very expression is an exercise in focus.  It is also an exercise in letting go and allowing what would come forth to manifest as it will.  Here is where I practice using my mind in a whole new way.  Here, I keep my mind as a blank slate on which consciousness can write what she will.  That is what Netscape Composer provides, a blank slate on which to capture this stream of consciousness.  And, indeed it is a stream, and not a silent one at that.  Rather, it is one that roars.  Is that enough to be worthy of being listened to?  Is it worth the time that it takes to write and to read this expression.  I would answer a resounding yes, but clearly I am biased in this matter.  Yet, the expression is such that I am moved to read and re-read it many times.  Why is that?  Why am I moved to re-read something that I create, something that comes forth through me?  What can I say, I just am.

Somehow, this is part of what I came to do.  This is my way of serving spirit, hence serving humanity and the world.  Interesting coming from someone who is essentially a hermit.  Yet, this is what I do.  I allow a voice to speak through me in words upon a page ... actually in words upon many hundreds or even thousands of pages.  There have been so many words and pages that I have literally lost count.  Anymore, it doesn't seem to matter.  The body of the Beyond Imagination works has been made available both here and in published form.  To date, there have been 9 Beyond Imagination books.  However, book sales have been dismal at best.  I haven't reached the core group that might be interested in them.  That too is OK.  Should I be destined to reach them, something will happen that will allow this to unfold.

The pace is good today, over 1000 words in under an hour.  That is quite a bit faster than normal.  Overall, I don't appear to be in control of the pace.  Some days, I am simply more receptive than others.  On these days, it shows.  The communication is free and easy as opposed to being somewhat forced as it can be sometimes.  Though, most of the time, the stream of consciousness is just that, a stream of consciousness that moves me and is expressed through me.  Yes, through me and not by me.  That is how I experience it anyway.  There is a strong sense that this expression is meant for others besides me.  Though, it is not clear whom these others might be.  There are not a lot of people in my life, and most of them are not interested in the part of my life that is engaged in this endeavor.  That too, is OK.  My path appears to be a solitary one, at least to date.  How long this will be so remains to be seen, but I sense that it will not be for too much longer.  Wishful thinking, perhaps.  But, then again, it just may be true.  It just may be that I am to have a personal impact on people in this world.  At times, I have thought that perhaps this message was ahead of its time and might impact people long after I am gone.  Perhaps, perhaps not.  Indeed, being an example of the expression of spirit in flesh is extremely important to me, more important than anything else that I do.  What will ultimately come of this, I do not know.  It will be whatever it is.  I trust that whatever that is will be enough.  I know not how to live life any other way than to do what I am moved by spirit to do.  How do I know that it is spirit herself that is doing all this?  Primarily because I have no direct sense of ownership of what is expressed.  Yes, it comes forth through me.  But, its source lies in the unseen realms of consciousness.  I've spoken of this many times before.  How it can be thus, I do not know.  I only know that it is.  Something about the process of expressing here works.  Allowing spirit to speak through me in this manner, I am somehow fulfilling a destiny that I came to fulfill.  This particular expression can only come through me.  Though there are many who express similar themes these days.  No, not in the same manner.  But, in many cases using similar words and concepts.  It is time for this expression to reach a wider audience.  Spirit, herself, will ensure that it does.  Otherwise, I need to deal with the possibility that all of this is for me, for my education.  Here is where I get in touch with previously hidden portions of myself.

For your eyes only, only for you.  You see what no one else can see.  Suddenly you needed me.  For your eyes only.

The words from that song still haunt me.  Can spirit have gone to all of these lengths for my sole benefit?  I would hope not.  But, if she has, that says something about the nature of spirit and about how special we individuals are.  Yes, we!  What I can do others can do also.  The bottom line is finding a way to tap source and to express what she would have us express in our lives.  This seems to be something that happens naturally, but we have to pay appropriate attention.  Yes, focus is the key.  For our lives to work as they are meant to work, we have to apply the right focus.  We have to pay attention to the things that truly matter.  These will be different for each of us.  But, we will know them when we find them.  It is all a matter of seeking.  That is why people on the spiritual path are called seekers.  As the 4/8, I am the Man in Search of More.  Others may be happy with the status quo and what life has to offer.  But, this is not enough for me.  I am ever seeking for more, in particular, more meaning.  It is not enough to have things in my life.  I live primarily in a world of ideas, in a world where ideals have a tangible reality ... a reality that needs to be brought down to earth.  I came to build the foundations for a new world.  Thus far, these foundations have primarily been ideas.  To date, that has not been enough to realize them, to make them real on earth.  That, too, is OK.  Everything in its proper timing.  It is not for us to force our way on the universe.  The universe will nurture us to be the best that we can be, if only we will allow it to.  This is a matter of resigning our will to The Will of the universe.  This can be difficult to do, especially if our egos are strong.

Hmm ... 1933 words.  The year that my mother was born.  Another few sentences and we reach 2000.  That used to be one of my daily goals for expression ... though it was an unwritten goal.  Basically, it equated to expending nearly two hours in this endeavor.  To me, that constitutes a tithe to spirit, more than a tithe if you consider only waking hours per day.  Generally, I don't have goals, and I don't make plans.  This is one exception.  Looking back over the past 13 years, the frequency of expression and quantity of expression have varied greatly from day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year.  I have no explanation for the variances.  I simply express what would come forth through me when I am moved to express.  I would have it no other way.  Here, I feel that I am being of service to a greater cause than my own.  Whether that is true or not, only time will tell.  And, even then, it may not do so in my lifetime.  Can I live with that possibility?  The bottom line is yes.  I can live with reality however it unfolds in my life.