Another month plus has passed. It
is amazing how fast time is going by these days. I'm still busier
than ever at work. There is just not enough time to do everything
that I might want to do. Also, it doesn't help that I am
exhausted by the time that I leave work. Over the past few days,
I've been moved to read the best quotes from the 2002 Musings. I
was once again amazed by the quality of the work that came forth.
Reading these passages, it dawned on me that they should indeed reach a
larger audience than they have reached to date and they should have a
profound impact on people. As I write this the song
Let there be Peace on Earth, and let it
begin with me plays in the background. It is very moving
to me. It is a sort of theme song.
Spirit expresses here as she does nowhere else. There is
something special and magical about that. The process began in
March of 1993, over 12 years ago. The quantity of expression has
varied dramatically during that time, from hours per day to nothing for
entire months. Oh well, it is what it is. There have been
enough words brought forth that it literally takes months to read them
all. That is saying a lot in and of itself. All that has
come forth is available here at the Beyond Imagination site. From
the beginning, I knew that this was something that was coming forth
from source, from spirit, through me. As such, it was something
that I was strongly moved to share and share freely. There is
nothing hidden. There is no code to decipher. Though, I
have not been moved to find the intended audience for this
expression.
If you build it,
they will come! I built the Beyond Imagination site to
house the expression. And, people did come, but not in the
numbers that I thought they might. Also, the feedback was far
more limited than I imagined it would be. My hope was to find
kindred spirits ... members of my spiritual family. But, this did
not really happen. Part of this is my hermit nature. Yet, I
openly invite communication and feedback.
Am I crazy? Perhaps. But then, we're all a little crazy in
some aspects of our lives. Normal is an arbitrary statistical
grouping. Being normal is not necessarily good in any way.
I take pride in being different, in being unique. I know that we
are all unique expressions of spirit. What we do with our special
gifts is our choice. Some people choose to stuff them away.
Others freely express them. Still others fall on the spectrum in
between these extremes. We are given our gifts for a
purpose. They are to be used in service in some manner.
This is not something that has to be difficult. It is meant to be
a natural expression.
Consciousness is ever on my mind. She is ever expressing through
me. Yes, she. That is how I experience her anyway. It
matters not that my form is male in this existence. How do I know
what to write next? I don't know. I just allow whatever
will be expressed to come forth ... trusting that it will be
appropriate. To date, this process has not failed me. It
has resulted in a large body of expression that continues to move me to
this day. And not just some of it ...
all of it! That says a lot as
well. One of my greatest challenges has been to come up with
concepts of self, Self, and SELF that enable me to accommodate what is
expressed here and how it is expressed. The bottom line is that
there is far more to us as individuals than we are consciously
aware. Further, there is incredible cooperation occurring behind
the scenes to allow us to create the reality that we experience.
Spirit is subtle yet persistent. She moves us to do what we are
meant to do, if only we will listen to her gentle guidance. Life
is not meant to be difficult ... though there is nothing wrong with a
good struggle or challenge now and then. The bottom line is that
we create it all, every aspect, every detail ... no fine print, no
exceptions. That means there is meaning to be found in the
details as well as the generalities. I don't pay much attention
to details much of the time. My head is often in the air, my
spirit soaring to new heights. There is a sense that I am still a
stranger here, a stranger in a strange land. I don't understand
what it is that moves others. My knowledge of others is limited
at best. Is it time for that to change? Or, are there
others like me that I just haven't found? I consider myself to be
a transcendentalist, in the spirit of Emerson, Thoreau, and
Channing. Surely, there are other transcendentalists out
there. What am I willing to do to find those whom I am meant to
work with? Do I have to do anything? Is it not enough to be
whom that I am, do as I am moved by spirit to do, and allow the play to
unfold as it will ... including meeting and interacting with those that
the play calls into my life.
But, what about intent? What about the idea that we are to
consciously choose what we want to experience? The sense is that
this is fine for some, perhaps even many. However, for some
reason, it is not the way that I am meant to live. Spiritual
purpose is the focus of my life. I was going to say, enough that
I would give up my individuality for it. Interesting, especially
coming from one who is essentially a hermit. We have said many
times that we would express what spirit would express through us.
It is not what I would do, but what she would do through me that is the
greatest gift that I can offer the world. On my own, I am
limited. As an instrument for spirit, I am unlimited ... because
that is the nature of spirit. How do I know what she would have
me do? It is simply a matter of stepping down, resigning my will
to Thy Will, and allowing what would come forth to come forth.
Thus far, that is how it has been anyway. It is not clear that
this is to change anytime soon. And, why would I want it to
change? There is an exhilaration that comes from serving
spirit. There is a special high unlike that which comes from
anything else. Here, there is the sense that I am being all that
I can be. The creative expression is phenomenal. Also,
there is a sense of joy that comes from giving of myself in this
manner. One might ask, then why are there breaks that exceed a
month some times? Good question. My only explanation is
that there are cycles, even acyclic ones. There is an inflow and
an outflow. The expression is an outflow. Somehow it needs
to be balanced by what I take in. However, the bottom line is
that there are spans of time when I am not moved to come here to
express. There is nothing wrong with this. It is just how
it is.
I was moved to re-read the Beyond Imagination book over the past
week. It blew me away once again. There is so much material
packed into that 100 page work. There are so many ideas regarding
creating the foundations for a new
world. Why is it that so few people have found that work,
or choosen to buy Beyond Imagination: The Early Works? Can that
have really been written over 12 years ago? Actually, the 12 year
anniversary of its completion was two days ago. The bulk of that
work was done over a few month period. That was clearly a special
time in my life. It was just after my first manic period, and an
extensive manic period that was, spanning most of the year.
October 1 marked the 12 year anniversary of my first visit to the
mental hospital. Yes, I was in need of help. But, I still
don't believe that I truly got the help that I needed ... other than
quieting my mind and giving me the time off from work necessary to
integrate what I was experiencing. It is not clear that we've
come much further. I was hoping that by now there would be
"hospitalization" available for "spiritual emergency". For, that
is exactly what I experienced, the emergence of spirit from within
me. I knew that as it was happening. However, few in my
world seemed to know or acknowledge what was happening. Then
again, it is not like there are many people in my world. I have
lived a very sheltered and solitary life. But, are there any
regrets? I wonder. Have I truly lived the life that I might
have lived? Or, is the very way that I have lived what enabled me
to experience what I did in the way that I did?
Once again, there is a sense that I should be doing more, a sense that
I am not being all that I can be, a sense that I am not living my life
as fully as I could. But, what am I going to do about it.
Write! That is your forte. Allow spirit to express through
you as she will. Give her every opportunity. Invite her to
play an even greater role in your life than she already does. You
have more free time than you know. Written expression is it for
you. It will make you happier than anything else that you
do. So, do it. Quit making excuses. It is only
through engaging in this expression that you can see what can come
forth. And, by observing and consuming what comes forth, you
ingest the inputs that challenge what you know yourself to be.
You only get tired when you are bored. It is time to choose to
escape the boredom. Engage your talents fully. It is not
clear that your work will ever enable you to do this. There is a
reason for that. Work is how we exchange our services for our
livelihood. This expression is not "work" for you. Yes, it
occupies your energies and your time. However, this is
re-creation for you, creative expression at its highest. There is
a chance that you could be paid for it someday. However, there is
also a chance that what you express is simply ahead of its time and
awaits an audience that exists in what you know to be the future.
Interesting. Something feels right about all of this. I
have no reason to question it. Also, I have no ties to any
particular outcomes. I am open to my life playing itself out as
it will in accord with whatever spirit would move me to be and to do.
Wow. It has been awhile since this much has been brought
forth. We'll have to see whether it is an anomaly or a habitual
thing. With the holidays coming, it could easily be the
former. Oh well. We do what we can when we can. That
is all that is asked of anyone. In many ways, I expect a lot of
myself. However, I don't impose my expectations on others.
Each of us marches to the beat of our own drummer. Though, it
seems that some beats are much more similar than others.
1957 words. There is no way that we can get that close to 2000
and not exceed it. Hmm ... 19 x 103. This comes across as
13:Death tied to 0:Source and 91 = 78 + 13: Death Exalted. That
is clearly a number for transformation of a major order. That
reminds me. Driving to town from our cabin in Idyllwild we passed
many big crows sitting on a fence. They flew away as we passed by
them. Crows are a sign of major change as well. Hmm ...
1957 was the year that I was conceived, the year before I was
born. Yes, numbers still have importance in my life. I
don't think that a day goes by when I don't notice something meaningful
from this domain. Yes, it is a domain. Actually, more a
hidden world that is revealed step by step.
That brought us all the way to 2101. But, there is no sense that
we are to stop here. There is more that would be expressed this
day. That comes from an inner sense, not from any knowledge of
just what lies in store. So, let the voice continue. We are
just about to enter the year 2006, a Z=26 year. That means that
the Y=25 year is about to expire. Have we answered the question
WHY during this year? My sense is no, we haven't. We had
the potential to do so, but somehow did not achieve this ... at least
not in the outer planes of existence. Why? Hmm ... the
00:Source Doubled has something to do with this. There are eight
years of this nature following 2000 which had Source Tripled, namely
2001 through 2009. 2005 is the halfway point in this
period. It will be curious to see what 27, 28, and 29
bring. The Tarot may give us a clue. These are the Ace of
Wands = New Start in the Field of Spirit, the Two of Wands = The Man
with the World in His Hand, and the Three of Wands. The later is
not so easy to understand.
27 = 3 x 3 x 3. 28 = 2 x 2 x 7. 29 = 10th Prime. This
is the first prime past the alphabet. A funny and curious memory
came to mind from my grade school days. I was asked to count from
1 to 1000. The teacher couldn't believe how quickly I was
done. I still remember writing
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90,100,200,300,400,500,600,700,800,900,1000.
I don't know what I was thinking, but that is what I did. Note:
there are 28 numbers in that sequence, 29 if you add 2000 to the
end. So what if we use these to count by rather than the normal
sequence of counting by ones.
A B C D
E F G H
I
1 2 3
4 5 6
7 8 9
J K L
M N O
P Q R
10 20 30 40
50 60 70 80 90
S T
U V
W X
Y Z
<sp>
100 200 300 400 500
600 700 800 900
<28> <29>
1000 2000
Does this give us a system that tells us anything useful. For one
thing, each cycle of 9 takes us to another dimension.
WAYNE = 500 + 1 + 700 + 50 + 5 = 1256 = 8 x 157
ELLIS = 5 + 30 + 30 + 9 + 100 = 174 = 6 x 29
HARTMAN = 8 + 1 + 90 + 200 + 40 + 1 + 50 = 390 = 30 x 13
JR = 10 + 90 = 100
TOTAL = 1256 + 174 + 390 + 100 = 1920 = 48:The Man in Search of
More x 40:Page of Cups
The only difference between my name and my dad's is the JR at the
end. Hmm ... my dad did not become a SR until I was born and
named. S instead of J adds 90 to the total bringing us to 2010,
that is only five years away. It is curious that a "mistake" that
I remember from grade school would re-enter my awareness now.
2010 = 30:Utopia on Earth x 67:Knight of Pentacles
How I love playing with numbers and looking for meaning in new
ways. This is what I am meant to be doing somehow. I know
that. Further, each "tool" that I uncover allows my mind to
reveal that much more.
GENEVIEVE = 7 + 5 + 50 + 5 + 400 + 9 + 5 + 400 + 5 = 886
MAE = 40 + 1 + 5 = 46
BUDDINGH = 2 + 300 + 4 + 4 + 9 + 50 + 7 + 8 = 384
TOTAL = 886 + 46 + 384 = 1316 = 13:Death 16:The Tower
GINI = 7 + 9 + 50 + 9 = 75
HARTMAN = 390
TOTAL = 465 = 3 x 5 x 31
1920 + 75 = 1995
1920 + 465 = 2385 = 5 x 477 = 3 x 5 x 159 = 3 x 3 x 5 x 53
I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! Be Happy and Create Well!
LOVE,
Wayne
BEYOND
IMAGINATION: Creating the Foundations for a New World