Musings of a Spiritual Warrior

5 August 2005

Another month.  Another two weeks without musing.  Then again, work has been quite busy of late, not leaving much time for anything else and leaving me exhausted in the evenings.  Such is life.  We take it as it comes.  Yet, we also create it to be what we desire it to be.  Exhaustion is a state of mind.  It is something that can be controlled and overcome.  It is a matter of priority and attitude.  We do what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it.  That is how this expression comes to fruition anyway.  There is no directing this to happen.  The opportunity comes and I grab it.  More precisely, I see myself grabbing it.  What causes this still appears to be outside of my control.  But is it?  There was a two year period of time not that long ago when I was musing for an average of two hours nearly every day.  Now, I'm getting an hour or two in every two weeks.  I miss what this expression brings into my life.  It allows me to soar and yet be grounded at the same time.  There is something about the physical connection through the fingertips that makes this expression more real than it would be otherwise.  It's automatic nature is interesting as well.  There is something magic about the process.  No matter how long I engage in it, the magic remains.

Life is getting more interesting and more challenging.  I still don't know exactly what I want, but it is clearly not what I have at the moment.  That bring to mind something from a song ... the secret to happiness is not having the things that you want, but wanting the things that you have.  There is a sense that an attitude of gratitude is warranted.  Before we can move on, we must understand and appreciate where we are.  Easier said then done.  Perhaps .... but where there is a will, there is a way.

I'm still curious as to why I have not found a community to be part of.  My work environment comes closest to that, a place where people care about one another.  But, the context in this case is the work environment ... an important part of life, but only a part.  In the larger social environment, I am still very much alone, a hermit in the midst of a multitude.  Will it always be thus?  Is this my very nature?  Or, is this a way of avoidance of relationships?  For the most part, people don't interest me, systems do.  Also, I am very self-absorbed ... focused on understanding the nature of the self and of the ONE.  That doesn't leave much room for concern about others and how the self relates to others.  Rather, my interest is in how the self relates to spirit ... to the very expression of spirit in flesh.  But, is this enough?  It leads to a solitary and often lonely existence.  Is that really what I want?  If not, it is time to make choices that change this.  Making such choices is within my power at any time.  The universe leaves it to us to create the reality that we prefer.  We do that every moment of every day.  Clearly, not all of this is done consciously.  There are very powerful other than conscious forces at work.  However, these can be harnessed to do our bidding.  It is a matter of controlling our beliefs and selecting our actions appropriately.  Many are not aware of the power of beliefs, especially of unconscious beliefs in our lives.  It is time for this to change.  The appropriate consciousness technology exists to better the lives of many, if not all.  It is a matter of getting it into their hands and their minds.  Here, the mass media provides a powerful way of reaching tens, if not hundreds of millions rapidly and effectively.  It is time that this be used as the teaching tool that it can be.  Yes, there will be some objection to such a course of action, primarily from those who are too close-minded to see the light, and to see how beneficial this technology can be.  It is most important to reach the young.  They have the innate capacity and potential to lead us to where we need to go in the new age of Aquarius that is upon us.  Another song comes to mind ... I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way.  These are powerful words.  But, indeed they are true.

What next?  There is a sense that my life needs to take a major turn, one that literally amounts to a breakpoint.  It is not clear that the change in job in two months really constitutes that.  I can imagine my life being much different.  I can imagine my days being much different.  I can imagine being truly excited about starting my day and going to work.  But, how do we go beyond imagination and make these things so?  We start with the possibility ... no, the probability ... no, the certainty that such will come to pass.  Then, we do what it takes to make it so.  Contacts and connections.  That is what is missing.  I was not meant to live alone.  Yes, I can do it and do it well.  But, my nature is to be far more social than I have been.  There are supposed to be close friends, companions, and associates in my life.  That they aren't there yet is a sign that something has gone awry.  I'm not operating fully.  I'm not being all that I can be.  I know that.  But, how do I fix that?  The desire is there.  Everything starts with awareness.  Now that I've realized this, it frees up things so that they can change.  Then, it is a matter of time.  Time to attract the right circumstances and people into my life.  It all starts with opening up to the idea and allowing the opportunities to come.  Life is what we make of it.  So it has always been.  Richard Bach in Illusions said:  "Argue for your limitations, and, sure enough, they're yours."  Richard is a very wise man.  So, what other limitations am I arguing for in my life?  What else is there that I would change?  There is still the question of exerting my will.  I'm still reluctant to do that.  But, what am I afraid of?  I know deep down that my will is thy will through me.

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!   Be Happy and Create Well!

LOVE,

Wayne


BEYOND IMAGINATION:  Creating the Foundations for a New World