Musings of a Spiritual Warrior

7 June 2005

Wow!  7 June already.  Another four days without musing.  Heard back regarding transfer.  The other organization got my file.  They'll interview me in two weeks, but it seems like a sure thing.  The only question is a matter of when.  For that, it seems that much is up to me.  I'll need to work out something reasonable that is fair to my current organization.  I have a few ongoing tasks that could take as much as two months to wrap up.  After that, everything is open-ended.  Lately, work has been busier, but not as rewarding as it could be.  The sense is that I am not doing the right things.  Further, it is time for that to change.  Part of the problem is being in the same job for so long.  Another is supporting the same organization for so long.  And, we're not talking about a major organization here.  It's as if I'm a big fish in a little pond.  I've outgrown my present environment.  There are too many detailed things that I do when my forte is on the bigger picture things.  Now, the opportunity is here to change this.  Though, I don't know much about what I would be doing in the new job either.  Something is right about it however.  I know it.  I would not be moved to make this change now if it were not somehow right, somehow destined.  With each step forward, we plunge further into the unknown.  That is OK, we have become comfortable with that.

The writing is a bit strained today.  Don't know why.  Just sense that the connection is not quite there.  It's close, but it is different at the same time.  That is OK, we'll take whatever comes.  The only purpose for this expression is to provide a vessel for a stream of consciousness to come forth.  That stream of consciousness reveals much about me, but even more about the nature of consciousness, at least as she is able to express through me.  Why are these not one and the same?  Good question.  From the beginning there has been the sense that this expression comes through me but is not of me.  That continues to the day.  Yes, even after 4 million plus words in over 12 years.  That's a lot of words.  That's also a lot of practice of tapping into the source within.  What can I say?  It is what it is.  It is not that I have tried to make it so.  I write when I am moved to write.  Sometimes that is long and often.  At other times it is more abbreviated and less frequent.  It follows no pattern of which I am aware.  It simply is.  And, that is enough.  That is always enough.  To be is the grandest thing there is.

So, what am I moved to do next?  Moving on seems to be the right thing.  Though, I've taken the key step that I can take already.  What more can I do on that front?  We could work harder to make things happen sooner.  But, that doesn't feel right somehow.  Two months will pass soon enough.  Indeed, far sooner than any two months in my life to date.  We are in for a challenge as it is.  And, I can be sure that uncertainty will rear its head as well.  It always does so in my life anyway.  Yet, at the same time, I don't believe in chance.  Conscious uncertainty is not truly uncertainty.  At some level we know and create all that we experience.

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!   Be Happy and Create Well!

LOVE,

Wayne


BEYOND IMAGINATION:  Creating the Foundations for a New World