1 June 2005
What next? What am I moved to do next? Where am I to go? What am I to be? I keep waiting for signs from the universe, but these haven't been as forthcoming as usual. That is OK. Whatever guidance is needed will indeed be provided. Such is just how things work. Why aren't things changing on the social front? Why am I not meeting others who I am meant to work with? Why is my life still lived so very much alone? Yes, I do have a preference for my own company. However, not to the exclusion of others. At the same time, I expect my contacts with others to be meaningful or I would not rather have them. Interesting, why is it not enough for such contacts to be pleasurable? Would that not lead more directly to happiness? Perhaps. But, I am the 48: The Man in Search of More for a reason. It is the meaning behind things, behind ideas, that appeals most to me.
Why am I feeling the way that I do? Why do I feel that I am betraying a bond of loyalty? The company that I work for encourages its employees to gain a variety of job experiences. It is the cross program experience that provides added value. This is my first attempt to move in 8.5 years with the company. But, I have been working for the same program office for nearly 20 years. Something about that seems wrong somehow. I need to expand my horizons ... my skills and abilities to make me more useful in any work that I am drawn to do. Such is what I am moved to do anyway. The good of the many versus the good of the one. This can be viewed from many cases in this particular instance. At the lowest level, it seems that I win and the organization that I goes to wins, but the organization that I leave loses. It doesn't matter how long a transfer would take. It is still going to hurt people that I care about. Then again. People do move on and I know that several others have been looking, some for extensive periods of time. At some level, none of this matters. It is all decided. Life goes on, one way or the other. No biggee. Where do I have the most opportunity to use my talents effectively? Where do I need to be to learn what I need to learn next? That is all that matters at this point. Further, to some degree, it is out of my hands. Yes, I was moved to mail the request in this morning. Some might say that was my choice. I didn't have to do it. But, in every way that matters, it was a destined act. Though, it was an act that I take full responsibility for. I filled out the form and signed it on Thursday, thought about it over the holiday weekend, and mailed it in this morning.
How do I do something similar on the metaphysical front? There are nine Beyond Imagination books published to date. Thus far, there have been fewer than a dozen sales. Yes, that is dismal, a very poor return on a $5000 investment, not including all of the time it took to bring forth the material and to format it into books. What can I do to make the material better serve others? Then again, perhaps it was not meant to do so, at least not in that form. Perhaps the song For Your Eyes Only is right afterall. Perhaps all of this is simply an education for me, a trial that I need to go through to temper my soul and ensure that I am ready to do what I came to do. Nonattachment comes to mind. Do as you are moved to do without attachment to the results. It is not worth worrying about what might happen. You can only control what you do in the moment, and even then, it is not clear how much you actually control. That is OK. Life just is! It needs no reason to be. It needs no reason to express as it does. When the world is ready for what you have to offer, it will beat a path to your door. Until then, continue to do your works, our works. For, this is truly a joint endeavor. You bring forth what we would express through you. We are grateful for the opportunity to express in this manner. It is far rarer than you might think ... even today.
You must love what you do. This is especially true for you. If you don't, you will be miserable. Your energy comes from the heart that you put into your work. The more that you are able to do this, the more spiritual energy is able to be disseminated to others. You are a conduit, a conduit for communications and for healing. However, for the conduit to work, you must learn to communicate in whole new ways for you and you must heal yourself. Both of these come through knowing yourself more. One way to do this is through the eyes of others. Yes, that is the commandment for metaphysicians ... Metaphysician, Know Thyself.
999 words and 4123 = Wayne wayne characters. That is a sign that this is on the right track for today. This at 8:27 = 27 to 28. 27 x 28 = 7:56.
I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! Be Happy and Create Well!
LOVE,
Wayne