Musings of a Spiritual Warrior

24 March 2005 

There is a sense that something major is about to happen.  Massive changes have already occured in the past few weeks, but the sense is that these are just a sign of things to come.  I'm curious and excited both by what is happening now and by whatever will come next.  There is no sense that I need to force anything to happen.  Rather, it is a matter of allowing and observing.  What will be will be.  What I interpret that to mean is up to me.  What "reality" I experience as a result is my choice as well.  I have no idea how the work world will change as a result of my increased awareness.  Though, change it must if it is going to be tolerable to continue working there.  Though, I know that if not, something else will come my way.  I will be moved to do what it takes to earn an income that is sufficient to sustain my lifestyle, to alter my lifestyle, or any number of other options.  Though it seems that it is time to go from a position of there always being enough ... to there always being an abundance so that I can be a benefactor to the world and to spirit.  Am I not this already.  Do I not volunteer portions of my time in service to spirit?  Actually, is not all time spent in service to spirit in one manner or another?

When I went out to dinner tonight, noticed that there is a full moon.  It is interesting that tomorrow is Good Friday.  That signifies the day that Christ was crucified.  Hmm ... so what is so good about it, other than that it is the Friday before Easter?  I've never been one to relate to the basic rites and rituals of Christianity.  Eastern religions are far more compatable with whom that I am, or at least so they seem from what little I have read and studied of them.  In fact, earlier today, I was reviewing the many pictures from a Krishna related rendering of the Bhagavad Gita.  It was as if these were a part of me.  We have a poster of The Eternal Couple or something like that.  It includes Krishna, Radha, and a host of animals in a beautiful setting.  We have never had it framed and have never hung it in the house though we have owned it for over 10 years.  At the moment, I don't even know where it is.  It will be interesting to see when it is finally framed and where it is hung.  There is a sense that this is not so far away.

Easter is only three days away.  Two more years and I have my first Easter birthday.  Seven years from now I have my second Easter birthday.  I've known that these dates would be significant since 1972, the year that I learned how to program a calculator.  This was well before personal computers came along.  My first real program was to calculate when Easter would be from 1750-2150.  I picked the program and I picked the time frame.  I was surprised to find that my birthday only occured on Easter in two of these 400 years, and that the two years were only five years apart.  That is the minimum time for consecutive Easters on the same date.  That these would occur within my lifetime was even more interesting.   It still seems that these days will be extremely important in my life.  Actually, this Easter is as well.  It is the day that I return to LA following my third major spiritual awakening.  This time it only took three weeks to recover as opposed to three months the first two times.  Also, overall, the episode was intense but easy to integrate.  The biggest symptom was a fascination with light, with reflections, and with events where light intersects with light.  I felt myself to be a master optics researcher, focusing intently and following sources of light everywhere.  It was as if I were interviewing for my next job somehow.  My entire body became the lens through which consciousness sees the light of the world.

I literally have no idea of what is in store next on any front.  Perhaps it will always be that way.  I do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it.  As of today, I basically "live" in three rooms in three locations and in a two room cabin in Idyllwild.  The three rooms are a room in a house in Cathedral City, a room in a house in Redondo Beach, and an inner office in a building on the Air Force Base in LA.  My other primary "residence" is my Matrix that gets me between these locations.  A few months ago, this would have been my primary reality for the bulk of my time.  Now, this is not so much the case.  I spend more time outdoors and more time shopping, though it is not clear for how long this will continue.  Will I go back to my old ways or will I move onto something new?  It seems that I won't really know until I see it happen.  How can that be?  If I create my own reality, why am I not choosing this rather than allowing it?  That is still an area that I struggle with.  To what degree am I to exert my will in the service of spirit?  For some reason, in this existence, it is for me to err on the side of caution in this area.

There is a sense of excitement that fills me.  I like where life seems to be leading me.  It is OK that much of this is unknown.  In fact, if anything, that makes it magical.  Indeed, there is a sense of magic and mystery that fills my days now.  I never know what I am to discover, what connections I am to make, or what experiences I am to draw unto me.  In one respect, that makes life more fun than it has ever been.

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!   Be Happy and Create Well!

LOVE,

Wayne

BEYOND IMAGINATION:  Creating the Foundations for a New World