Musings of a Spiritual Warrior

22 March 2005 

Still not up to anything comparable to what the musings were prior to the latest episode of mania.  Oh well, the expression is what it is.  It is not like I really have any control over it.  I sense when it is "right".  But, this process is primarily one of allowing what can come through to come through as it will.  It is interesting.  As I write this, it is raining again.  Yes, in the desert.  It is simply amazing.  This has been a very unusual year already.  And there is no sign that this is to change anytime soon.  That is OK.  Unusual and strange is good.  As are eccentrics.  Someone high in management once said that the best thing that he ever did was to protect the mavericks in his organization.  I definitely consider myself a maverick.  It is not clear that I think in the same manner as anyone else.  Then again, it seems that this may be true for each and every one of us.

What next?  I truly do not know.  I literally have no clue.  With the exception of an appointment or two, my days are completely unstructured.  I go with the flow, doing the work that presents itself to be done, taking things one step at a time, and in very slow steps at that.  I expect to be back at work in a little under a week ... yet, I have no real idea of what to expect when I return.  From a few conversations with my boss, secretary, and a coworker, it is clear that people miss me.  But, it is curious that in early three weeks, there has not been so much as a card.  Why is that?  Clearly, there must be a sense that there is no need of such.  My world is a reflection of whom that I am.  Who communicates with one who considers himself a hermit.  Clearly, consciousness herself ... but who else?

We've made it to the third 22 day of the year.  That brings us to 66.  However, this is also the 31+28+22 = 81 = 9 x 9 day of the year.  That is a day that only happens once.  And, it takes one day shy of two years to make it to 9 x 9 x 9 = 729 days.  That's an interesting observation.  That would indicate that 2 year cycles are somehow significant for me.  The beginning of March marked the end of the sixth such cycle since the Beyond Imagination expression began.  It is also curious that exact transits with Neptune would be occurring for me this month.  That makes my thinking far more expansive and all-inclusive that it would otherwise be.  That makes it easy for me to see the reality of the ONE consciousness.  Though, I can also see that this is not embraced by everyone.  Many are still asleep.  Yet, the time for awakening is nigh.  And, once awakened, we need return to sleep no longer.

What would I be?  How would I live?  With whom would I establish relationships ... and for what purposes?  There are many kinds of relationships ... family, friends, acquaintances, working, romantic, cooperative, interdependent, etc ...  What relationships would a hermit establish.  And, is a hermit what I want to continue to be?  Is this a mask that I choose to continue to wear?  At this point, I know no other way to be.  However, that does not mean that I cannot change.  I'm still observing that spirit is being more fully expressed everywhere that I am moved to look.  It is as if literally overnight, major changes occured that have ramifications everywhere.  That makes observing life quite interesting.  I never know what is going to happen next.  However, whatever it is, I know that it will get connected to many other relevant things in my mind, with a rapidity that is beyond anything that I can fathom.  It is still not clear what I can will to occur ...  or even whether I can will much of anything to occur.  Many things simply happen.  I observe them as I do them.  At the same time, it seems that I have some choice as to specifically what I do and how I do it .. at least for some things.

Colorado still calls to my soul somehow.  The mountains of Idyllwild are not really the same.  There is a sense that my stage is the whole world.  It is not clear that Idyllwild is sufficient for that ... sufficient for meeting who it is meant for me to interact with.  The thoughts are still quite grandiose.  My concept of whom that I am may be far more elevated than justifiable.  Then again, in a very real way, the world that I live in is Wayne's World.  At least three times that I know of in the past 13 years, this world has changed dramatically because I underwent a spiritual awakening.  It is not clear how many such experiences are necessary to finally BE AWAKE.  Then again, perhaps we are never fully awake.  There is always more to experience, more to become.   The bottom line is that I will be moved to live as I need to live, go where I need to go, and do what I need to do when the time is appropriate to do so and not until.

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!   Be Happy and Create Well!

LOVE,

Wayne


BEYOND IMAGINATION:  Creating the Foundations for a New World