It was a very busy day today.  I didn't have time to think of anything except work.  Curious, today is the 28:Man with the World in His Hand day of the year.  Yes, there is a 28 day each month ... but today is the 28 day.  It is interesting that this is what is needed to get from 22:Fool Complete to 50:Utopia on Earth.  This is the completion of the walk through two suits of the Minor Arcana.  The signs yesterday seemed to indicate that we had reached 36:Ten of Wands, the completion of the walk through the Wands of the Tarot.  The next card is 37:King of Cups = spirit.  Wayne occurs five cards into the suit, leaving nine cards for completion.  This may have been the reason all the figures with 5 and members of the family of 5 surrounded by combinations of 9's were so prevalent over the past few weeks.  There is a sense that my life is walking the path of the Tarot at one step per year.  I am in my 44th year meaning I turn 44 on 4/8/2002.  That leaves 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 to finally reach 50 on 4/8/2007.  This is the first year that my birthday is on Easter = 5 112 59 = 9 59 = 23:King of Wands.  This is also 112:5-59, span of 54, centered at 112:32 = 112:Completion of two cycles of 56, the Minor Arcana and 32 = America = "I AM race".

Just noticed that 28 is also the Tarot completion of 50.  Working backwards we would need 34 - 33 - 32 - 31 - 30 - 29 - 28 to keep the balance at Tarot completion for this progression from 44 to 50.  Note that it starts with 34:My Hearts Desire.  The next step is 33:Master Teacher, then 32:America/"I AM race", then 31:Youths Fighting/Death Reversed, then 30:Camelot, then 29:"light", and finally 28:The Man with the World in his Hand.

85  86  87  88  89  90  91  92  93  94  95  96  97  98  99  00  01  02  03  04  05  06  07  08  09  10  11  12  13

28  29  30  31  32  33  34  35  36  37  38  39  40  41  42  43  44  45  46  47  48  49  50  51  52  53  54  55  56
50  49  48  47  46  45  44  43  42  41  40  39  38  37  36  35  34  33  32  31  30  29  28  27  26  25  24  23  22

I got married in 87 during a 30:Four of Wand = Camelot year.  My brides birthname was Genevieve ... very close to King Arthur's Guenevere.  The writings and awakenings began in 93 and reached peaks in 94 and 95 before subsiding in 96. The double 39 in 96 represented bringing an offering of Peace to the world.  This was when the Search for Center activities began.  It was also the year that I lost my job with Lockheed Martin and went to work for Circle A, The Aerospace Corp. My second major period of mania and awakenings occurred in 98.  It was a very different experience from what occurred in 93.  Interesting that these two events straddle the midpoint in 96, but not evenly.  Actually, if we stretch these out over time to 93-94 and 98-99 respectively, they are evenly spaced.  It took over a year to integrate each set of experiences.

Note that 1985 was when I graduated from Stanford.  The opposite year is 2007, my first Easter birthday year.  2012, my second Easter birthday occurs when the 55:Ace of Swords and 23:King of Cups vibrations manifest.  The following year, the 13:Death year of the millenium is when we have the numbers for the Major and Minor Arcanas of the Tarot.

More confirmation that I am the living embodiment of the Tarot.  There is a sense that in some way we all are.  But, for me it is pronounced enough that I was forced to realize it.  It doesn't hurt that I am fascinated by numbers as well as by ideas... especially utopian ones.  The sense is that if we can imagine it, if we can create an ideal, then we can take action to manifest it in flesh.  It is all a matter of focus, attention, belief, and action in accord with our beliefs.  We can truly create the world to be whatever we desire it to be.  There is a great inner resource that already cooperates to create our present reality.  It is neutral.  It supplies its energy through whatever thoughtforms and molds we choose to express in our lives.  It is up to us to choose the reality that we would prefer.  We do this individually, in a variety of groups of various sizes, and en masse as a collective society and even a world.  My reality is focused on the personal with my Sun in Aries.  Further, it is nearly at 19 degrees, the number for the Sun as well.  Further, with Uranus in the first house conjunct the ascendant ... self and self-transformation are major issues for me.  They have been since 1974, and especially since 1993 when spiritual expression started in earnest.

How is it that so many aspects of my personal life seem linked to things in the world at large?  I can only conclude that my personal world is a microcosm, a faithful representation of the larger world.  For every situation and problem that I encounter in the outer, there is something inside me that mirrors it.  One can tackle problems in the outer or in the inner.  My sense, however, is that they are much easier to deal with and resolve in the inner.  Perhaps this is because I am extremely introverted by nature.  Though, I am extroverted enough to be moved to share what spirit would express through me.  Hmm ... this is my way of changing the world, by exposing others to whom that I am in the most intimate way that I can.  Sharing does not seem to be the right word either.  Sharing generally involves a recipient for what is being shared.  While consciousness herself does witness this ... it is not clear with whom else this is shared.  I write because I am moved to write, and because there is great joy in this creative expression of spirit.  I also write to share of whom that I AM, and to demonstrate what I believe through my actions.  My hope is that my words and musings will inspire others to share of whom that they are in a similar fashion ... either with me personally, or with others in a larger group.

How do I know that what I share is worth the effort?  At this point, it does not matter.  I trust consciousness.  I trust that what I am moved to express has value.  I know that it does for me, as I go back to read it often.  The limited feedback that I have received from others shows that it has moved them as well.  For the time being, this is sufficient for me to continue.  I need no other reasons.  Being moved by spirit is reason enough.  My sense is that if all of us would listen within, and choose to take action in accord with what we hear/find then the world would be a much better place in no time ... because we would all be cooperating to make it so.  My expression is an example of what one person can do.  I shudder to think of what a group cooperating together would be able to achieve.  The power of cooperative effort is truly exponential.

Where do we start to build the foundations for a better world?  The key seems to be in the mass belief system.  It is there that most of the world is engaged not only in seeing the world but in creating the world that they see.  There are signs the mass consciousness is being awakened ... in the lyrics of popular songs, in the themes and messages of movies and TV shows.  Yes, there is still much garbage expressed, lots of violence and sex; not that these are necessarily bad, but their overuse and misuse may have an overall negative effect.  The entertainment industry caters to the market.  They produce what is likely to sell.  Action, suspense, sci-fi, horror, documentary, comedy, and drama are all valid forms of expression.  They allow us to experience things that we might not otherwise be able to experience.

It is strange that we spend tens of millions to over a hundred million dollars per movie.  I say we, because as consumers, we pay for everything in this country.  And then, we generally expend over two hours of time to watch each movie.  Many of us do this multiple times per week.  Yes, that consumes a lot of hours.  But, it is how we choose to expend our free time collectively.  TV does that as well, it entertains us in an enjoyable manner that occupies a good portion of our free time.  I'm as guilty of this as others, though I typically multitask and exercise or write while I watch TV.  Actually, this is a perfectly fine choice to make.  We are free to expend out free time in any manner that we choose.  Though, I would encourage finding a way to express in a manner that helps others for at least part of this time.  That is how we live by the principle never take more than you give.  We find a way to give of whom that we are to others ... be they family, friends, or better yet society at large.

You may ask what can I do?  I suggest that you look within and find out whom that you are, and then imagine ways that you can apply your talents in ways that will benefit not only yourself but others.  Yes, this means going out of your way to help.  Though, the act of going out of ones way, makes it in ones way after all.  Trust that this is a natural expression for you.  Trust that there is a place inside of you that knows whom that you are, what you are capable of, and how you can allow spirit to express through you to help others in your society and your world.  This is not hard ... it is innate and natural.  Once you tap into it, you will find it easy, you will find that it gives you joy in ways that nothing else in your life does.  Yes, it is that powerful.  When we are doing what spirit would have us do, we find that we are more satisfied with our lives.  Making a difference does that to us.  The best way to make a difference is to engage spirit.  When we do this, we truly operate on all cylinders as the saying goes.  Depending on your present state of awareness, you may need to do some self work to reach a point where you have sufficient knowledge and energy to be able to help others.  That is OK.  Choose to invest the time and effort and do the work.  Once you demonstrate the desire, the resources will magically find their way to you via the books, people, classes, teachers, and/or experiences that you need.  If you haven't developed your intuition, yoga or meditation may help.  The bottom line is to find a way to be whom that you are so that you can fully express that in the world.  Then take the initiative and demonstrate that to the degree that you can in your life.

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!   Be Happy and Create Well!

LOVE,

Wayne