Once again it has been many months since I last wrote.  It's interesting that so few words have come through this year.  I've found myself going back often to revisit what came through in those early years from 1993 through 1995.  In a very real way, it was as if I was possessed.  I don't know how else to express it.  Yet, I am very thankful for all that I have been blessed to bring forth.  It has definitely been both an honor and a privilege to serve consciousness in the manner in which I have been asked to serve.  My sense is that this is just a taste of what is to come.  That somehow, those early years were but a preview of what I will be doing at sometime in the future.  The more difficult part is to understand why the magic stopped.  For indeed, those early years were quite magical.  Since then, I have been in more of an analysis and synthesis mode, rather than a true inspired and creative mode.  Much of my attention is focussed on understanding what I've experienced and finding a way to integrate altered states of awareness and increased intuition into my everyday life.  Numbers still play a major role in my life.  They are still fascinating to me, and convey a wealth of spiritual information.

I truly live in two worlds ... one where reason and logic reign supreme (my work world), and another (my personal spiritual world) where intuition reigns.  I live in both worlds simultaneously and have started to find ways to integrate intuition with reason in approaching both my tasks at work, as well as all aspects of my life.  Actually, I also live in the consensus world, though I am very much a hermit ... with limited interaction outside of that required for the tasks at hand.  I have no close friends.  I take limited interest in the lives of others.  I am concerned overall with the foundations of society, but not in the lives of individuals.  It has always been this way for me.  It is not clear that this will change anytime soon.

Spiritual expression is highly important to me ... allowing spirit to more fully express in flesh.  Curious, this is not via any religious path.  I stopped going to church regularly over 30 years ago and have only been back a handful of times.  For me, spirituality is an internal process of connecting to spirit (inside) and allowing that connection to spill over and express outwardly in one's life.  This is not an easy process.  However, it is a necessary and worthy one.  I can think of no other endeavor of anywhere close to the value.  Know Thyself!  It is as important now as it has ever been ... maybe more so.  Yet, in nearly 2500 years since Plato's time, how close to this have we gotten?  It's not clear that we've made much progress.  Mainly because the task of living has been so consuming of our time and attention.  We get what we focus on ... what we think about, and what we pay attention to.  This is the one area where we truly have free will and choice.

I feel as if I'm playing a waiting game again.  It's as if I'm in a play, waiting for my character to be cued.  I have some sense of what is required for the role, and know that my abilities and talents are sufficient.  However, I must wait for the timing to be right to begin this next phase of expression in my life.  It has been nearly four years in this waiting pattern.  During that time, I've been busy at work ... and I've been occupied in evaluating the symbolic world that surrounds me.  The time has literally flown by.  Yet, there is a sense of waste, a sense that I could be doing so much more with my life.  If only ...  At the present time, this has not been enough to propel me to action.  There is nothing that I am moved to do.  I don't know how to go about meeting the people that I need to meet to be able to co-create a better world.  Much of this comes from being alone so much.  Even when I am among people, I am silent much of the time.  I have nothing to say.  Mundane talk bores me, and from my experience most people are not concerned with deeper communications.  Even at such sites as Spirit Web Chat, the communication becomes just that, "chat".

If you want to experience life differently, you must BE different.  The world reflects whom and what that you are.  Indeed, such is the case.  Habit is difficult to eliminate in one's life ... or even to change.  Yet, my sense is that my rut is indeed one of habit ... habitual ways of being, of thinking, and of seeing.  It is time to remove some of the blinders and see what is really there.  What is missing in my life are things that I have been habitually choosing to ignore.  One escapes this problem by placing attention where one hasn't placed it before.  Pay attention to different things, and you will experience life in new ways.  Interesting.  It has always been that simple.  The answers are always there close at hand.  Nothing is hidden except those things we hide from ourselves.  So, what is it that I need to pay attention to?  What do I want to bring into my life?  Where are there signs that I am ignoring what might be life enhancing experiences?

I've ignored most of the consensus world, most of my life.  No TV news, radio news, newspapers, or magazines.  However, I have watched my share of television ... primarily movies and dramas.  This provides me with a reality check of sorts.  It tells me what large parts of the mass consciousness are being exposed to.  Overall, this is a positive experience.  It has shown me that spirit is more and more fully expressing in flesh if only through the imagination, intuition, and creativity of some very talented individuals and groups of people.  By itself, this is proof that the Age of Aquarius is close at hand ... very close, if not immediate.  Unfortunately, my sense of timing is not the most accurate.  I haven't worn a watch in over 12 years.  Yes, I have time commitments at work, and in my home life.  However, there are usually sufficient clocks around to meet my needs.  Somehow, I fill more free without a shackle tied to my wrist.  Sure, it's a matter of perception ... but perception can be very important.  Many of my predictions of when things might happened were colored by my ego wanting them to happen soon in a certain way.  I've learned over the years since 1993 that it is not my timing but spirit's timing that matters.
Things will happen when the time is right and not until ... regardless of how much effort we put in, or how much we might want them to happen.  Some things we have control over, many we do not.  Wisdom is involved in knowing the difference.

In many ways, I don't live in this world.  Yes, that is by choice.  Then, is not the admonition from spirit to be in this world, but not of this world.  Am I missing something important by not experiencing being more fully in this world.  My mental world is far more demanding of my attention that the "real" world.  It is where much of my focus and attention is placed.  The spiritual world is up there as well.  Lately, I've started paying more attention to my body and the physical world.  However, there is an emotional world that I experience inwardly deeply, but have limited outward expression.  Being a hermit definitely has it's limitations.  However, it has major benefits as well.  I've been seeing 9:22 and my income for the year starts with 988.  Both of these are signs that the Hermit may have completed it's cycle, and it is time for the Wheel of Fortune to express.  10 happens to be the freeway that runs past my house.  My zip code is 92234.  34 = 22(16).  I've experienced one major 16:Tower experience since we moved to our current house.

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!   Be Happy and Create Well!

LOVE,

Wayne