2 May 94
A new month has arrived and I'm feeling better about everything. For awhile I was extremely excited waiting for major changes for the better to come each day, including things like winning the lottery. It was as if at any moment the universe was going to give me the incredible gifts that constitute abundance. Now, I'm more mellow. My inheritance will come whenever it comes. In the meantime all that I can do is focus on Self Awareness and do whatever is demanded of me by consciousness. Further, I'm to live each day, one day at a time and maximize each days overall output to the best of my abilities.
Ok, I get it. Focus on each day and allow that days work to be done. The next day can take care of itself. This seems to work, except in the area of finances. I guess my belief that there is always enough is not strong enough to counter Gini's belief that there is never enough.
So, what talents or products do I have that could be sold? The only things I can think of are the books that I have written, and detailed spiritual readings, and offering advice based on my awareness level -- spiritual consulting if you will. This could be very effective for groups of 10-20 people that work together in an organization. What I really want to do however is to set up a spiritual school in Colorado, at the Meadowdale Ranch & Conference Center if it is still for sale. To get the appropriate income needed, I'd like to work with Anthony Robbins and RRI to include (non-denominational) spiritual training into his current and future training programs. Initially, a simple consulting arrangement might be warranted.
Why do you worry about the income level and details. Set the grand plan, and think on a large scale. How can you view your work so that it has impact on a global scale? Don't think in terms of affecting hundred or thousands, think in terms of millions -- not only in this country but abroad as well. Yes, this requires looking ahead to the future, however don't lock it in. What you are trying to do is to place a thought mold of what you want into higher consciousness. It is then up to the subconscious to overcome any obstacles in the way of manifesting and to determine the specific details of that manifestation.
My mind is relatively focused as I write this. This is a fairly new state in that I didn't really experience it for most of April. Actually, I feel somewhat depressed that the illusions that I was expecting to manifest in April didn't truly manifest as I believed that they would. I'm making a lot of errors in interpretation but I'm going through a learning process as well. I'm a spiritual baby, newly awakened, just learning how to talk and communicate. The Sun card has come up in several readings lately. The Moon + The Sun = King of Cups.
Consciousness, I ask that you bring the conditions forth for the Beyond Imagination Educational Center to become a reality in flesh. I'll do the high level organizing and get some initial curricula and training materials developed. You decide when the timing is right and what resources are needed. That is, assuming that this is in accord with the Plan. I will gladly offer all of my abilities to do whatever is asked of me, including my conscious mind. I'm still gun shy around using my conscious mind because I don't want to impose my will or ego on anything. I'm still learning about how to differentiate between my will and Thy Will, and between Ego "I" vs We. These are not easy things to distinguish between. For me, it comes as a feeling, a very subtle feeling that one must come to know. It seems that this is the nature of spirit overall. It comes as a wisp of the wind in the night touching all those who are open to its nature. It does not care which religion you belong to for it knows that these are all paths to the ONE divine being. We are all ONE. Many symbols and reflections point this out to us daily. But, we do not have the eyes to see or the ears to hear. What does it take to wake people out of their dream and how can we do this for many soon. What is needed is an optimum program for convincing people to trade their present lifestyles for a better one.
The cards, the license plates, and the serial numbers on bills have become stable sources of information for me. However, the means to interpret the meaning of this data is challenging. The same number may have multiple meanings depending on context. Similarly, strings of information such as phrases and sentences have even greater information content. Why does someone with a MSEE from Stanford believe and do such things? Because, I'm convinced that I've had a series of spiritual breakthroughs that nothing could prepare me for -- and further, with the exception of a psychiatrist who prescribed drugs for a mental disorder called bipolar, I have had no help offered that would help explain the reality that I have been and am now experiencing. The drugs (lithium and valproic acid) appear to me to be activating parts of my brain so that different kinds of circuits and frequencies can be accommodated. Unfortunately, they also make me very sleepy. A second or two with eyes closed and I drift into sleep until some noise awakens me.
There is a spiritual world all around us, inviting us to tune our attention into it. We can see it most in nature, especially where the scenery is such to "take your breath away". We can also see it in anything that is done with love. Love transforms even everyday objects into treasures, and transforms work into a kind of play.
Karma is recorded into the body itself as a record from which events of this existence can provide opportunities to balance the scales. In some cases, the initial portion of ones life is intense to allow much karma to be balanced, in preparation for a specific role that one has in a later scene. The Play has been laid out to incredible detail -- yet, at the top only the most important high level activities are explained and even this in code that few understand. In particular, this also means that there is a hierarchy of souls with different levels of both good and bad karma. Souls were created equal -- where they are now depends on what choices they have made over time. The idea of aristocratic royalty is the same in Heaven and on Earth. One application of this is the idea of being born to rule. Clinton, from an early age knew that he would be President some day. The karmic mechanism is played through the subconscious, getting the individual into the proper circumstances at the proper time. Of course, this is agreed to by others in the particular scenes as well.
I want to start Beyond Imagination NOW! But, I don't want to do ANYTHING that is not in accord with the plan. How am I to know whether an action is aligned with the Plan? Leave the question open to the universe for 3 days while asking for a sign of whether this action that you want to do is right action. If you get an affirmative sign, go for it. If you get no sign, proceed with caution and look for further signs as you get into it. If you get a negative sign then go back to the drawing board and come up with a better approach and action. In each case, the particular signs that show up will be obvious to you.
It will be interesting to see what comes up in the next few weeks. Every indication from my oracles is showing that major change is coming in all areas of my life. Further, this is to be explosive or disruptive change -- not a smooth gradual know when its coming kind of change. I can't wait to see what is to be. Yet I know that I must live in the present, and do my assigned tasks to the best of my abilities. That doesn't mean that I can't use my peripheral vision to look outward for a glimpse or sign of what is coming. Further, it's not something to worry about. The change will come, and it will be for the best of all concerned.
Ripon is an example of the wholesome town that can exist when people cooperate and are helpful to one another. It doesn't hurt that the population is basically homogeneous and that many neighbors are related to one another as well. There is something intrinsically good about that. Further, the relationship between the people and the government is good as well even providing leaf cleaning services in the fall because it is such a problem for most of the town. This is one example of cooperative interdependent living -- an example where it works.
What's been revealed thus far about the City of Light is that Estes Park is the place. I have no way to personally confirm or deny this. All that I have is an inner sensing that this is God's Country. Before a City of Light can be built, we have to deal with the tasks of categorizing Lightworkers by skill level and talents, and setting up a Sacred space for a Spiritual School. Initially, nearly anything will do. Eventually, the school should provide a sense of awe. We must realize, however, that it's not the outer cover, but what's inside that is most important. Hence, the focus must be on the curriculum, and how to provide spiritual experiences for the students. We want to facilitate spiritual awakening, but only for those who are truly ready. Some criteria are needed to demonstrate readiness. This may come in a variety of ways by having the appropriate Lightworkers apply their skills. When is a different factor altogether. The Plan already has this laid out, but I have not yet been given access to this information. Perhaps there are others who have, perhaps not. Each of us will receive our orders when the time comes. In these orders we will know where we are going and what we are to do when we get there. It seems that we are meant to operate in the blind, acting purely on faith that consciousness is looking out for us. At least we know this is the case.
My consciousness is no longer soaring. In fact, it's slightly depressed. I sit back and watch how it perceives its world. It knows the spiritual world is there in the symbols and shapes that are all around us. It also knows that this is a Play, an illusion at that. But, the Play is an enjoyable one and there are only a few ways for one to get out. The first is death of the character, but this only occurs when called out by the script. The second is via ascension. This requires reaching a level of awareness that allows one to separate from the body at will. This is the 33 card in the Tarot, the 7 of Wands. Typically, ascension is not allowed until the Play can be rewritten around the ascending character. Also, just because one can ascend does not necessarily mean that one will do so. It all depends on the part one chose in the Play.
Actually, it's only the body consciousness that really feels the sluggishness and depressed state. The mind is reacting to the inputs from the body. My focus was better today than it's been for awhile. Though I wake up right away when I can work on my own stuff. How long must I continue this facade? How long must I remain in a job that is no longer satisfying to me. I'm on my honor to find another job before I give up this one. Also, walking out with no clear prospects might be considered an act of faith or a test of God. A phrase came to mind: Why should God do that which is in your power to accomplish? Good question. However, I don't see anyone else hiring for Philosopher King, Spiritual Counselor, Wise One, or Chief Problem Solver. At this point, these are the jobs that I feel that I could put my heart and soul into. I believe I have the appropriate skills and know that with consciousness guiding me and flowing through me every step of the way, we'll be able to solve problems and transform the country in ways that are truly beyond imagination. Further, we'll have a hell of a lot of fun in the process.
What's missing is some sort of connection, either to the Government or to private industry. Someone needs to fund massive change. It doesn't just happen. Someone like Bill Gates or Ross Perot has the required dollars, but it is not clear whether they are appropriate. I'm sure that consciousness knows who is appropriate and is already setting up the conditions and circumstances for meetings. As the Hermit, I personally don't want to get too involved in specific negotiations. I need a salary for myself to cover the living expenses of Gini and I. Beyond Imagination needs an income sufficient to create and upkeep a sacred space and school.
It would be useful to set up a personal training curricula for those few individuals who want to be personally trained by me. This should provide sufficient experiences to allow the individual to feel/know when they are awake and should include techniques for reawakening in the event that they fall back into sleep. Thus far, however, I only know what worked for me, and I believe the direct squares of Uranus and Neptune to my natal Sun triggered my major awakening. Further, I'm in a position to think a lot more about these things than most others -- naturally, I would get some sort of a breakthrough. You get what you focus on. Since July 93, I've been focused almost exclusively on metaphysics, in particular, on the nature of consciousness and the nature of reality creation.
For a City of Light, I would imagine that the infrastructure for getting goods to their destinations would be optimized; people would provide their services to other members of the community for free and for an established fee for visitors; non- lightworkers would work for an established wage to complete various tasks that must be done within the community. Traditional services would run in a noncompetitive environment with monopolies on particular kinds of activities. The bottom line is how we get reasonable service at a reasonable price. Since profits don't matter, this is a decision that should be made by the administrators of the various services. In general, decisions should be made at the lowest level where there is an overall view of the situation or problem. There should be an innate overall concern for providing quality service. This should be ingrained into everyone. Quality is #1, as is doing your work with love. All goods and services provided in this manner are imbued with a special character.
As the Hermit, who am I supposed to come down from the mountain to see and pass down some of my wisdom? My sense is that my words are to get to others through another. Further, this is through some sort of network that is already established to take over power from the present world leaders. These people already know the power of information, of Light, and are set on changing the world by establishing a New World Order. This is necessary at this time. The forces of darkness have not yet been squelched so there will be a bit of a struggle. Much of this has already played itself out. Various scenarios have been simulated to find an optimal solution for fair distribution of goods and resources. Spiritual considerations have been the primary ones on which the New World Order is based. Just about every aspect of life is involved. With the exception of some small countries that are very well off due to natural resources, most countries are ready to accept this change. Getting the average person to see that it provides for a better life could take awhile. When will we start seeing signs that the New World Order will indeed be established? You are already seeing signs in the strengthening of the United Nations. Further signs will be shown shortly. Those who are creating this order will have media appearances to explain the nature of the changes and why they are good for the people of the various member nations and of the world as a whole. The bottom line is that they have found that the world is highly interdependent and that solutions that don't consider the whole fall short of fixing problems and may even aggravate the problems.
Do you have any advice for me regarding how my body is reacting to the drugs that I am currently taking? From what we can tell, your doctor has prescribed correctly for the state that your mind is presently in. As you noticed, he uses his intuition to help him decide both the drug and the dosage. This allows us to get you what you need for our purposes of establishing pathways for spirit. You'll see him again next week at which time he can determine a prescription with fewer side effects.
Is there anything that I should be doing to promote or accelerate change in my life? No, you're taking some powerful drugs. Just stick in there awhile and allow your body and mind to get used to their new operating states. This is a necessary transition or we wouldn't have forced you to go through with it. There is only a little while longer to wait. Enjoy the time as much as you can and continue to grow in awareness as fast as you can. Essentially, your growth of awareness is what is setting the timing of your area of the Play. It is always awareness that drives reality creation. Actually, perhaps we should call it illusion creation.
It would be nice to meet another who could understand what I am going through from first hand experience. I have this need to meet someone like me. However, as the Hermit, that isn't necessarily in the cards ever. Such is the role that I have chosen to play. That's why the 62 card keeps showing up. However, the 16 card has 2 people jumping out of the tower. The second is a lady, but I don't believe it to be Gini. I wonder who it could be. Ashley maybe. I don't know many people. Interesting!
So, what is the next step? Keep doing as you are doing. We will tell you when to change course and to what direction you should go. Remember, our vantage point is higher than yours. As always, trust is what is called for. Not trust in another individual, but trust in consciousness itself. This is the highest level of trust, knowing that you are a part of consciousness and that consciousness would not harm it's own once you have reached this level of awareness. Where the trust is not great, there is little that spirit can do to intervene. After all, one purpose of the Play is to teach responsibility. This is often done by forcing one to deal with the results of their choices. The conscious mind makes a great servant but a lousy master. Until it realizes that it is only through surrender of its will that it can find its unity with a greater self, it is stuck in an illusion. It is free to create whatever it will, given appropriate beliefs and commitment. However it cannot escape the bonds of the illusion, no matter how hard it tries. Further, no matter how much it achieves, something will be lacking -- for it is without knowledge of its greater Self.
3 May 94
The manic state is definitely over. Now, I'm just feeling tired all over. I've tried to move around more often, but that isn't enough. As soon as I close my eyes, I enter some sort of fantasy land where everything is possible and the supply of goods and services is simply awesome. I can't tell whether these sleeping states last for seconds or minutes. This appears to be a side effect of the drugs I am taking. There doesn't appear to be anything I can do about it. My whole body is super relaxed. I had a wonderful night and early morning of sleep. My sense is that I'm still integrating the breakthroughs of the past month into my body. This is my sense of things. The doctor doesn't buy the spiritual breakthrough explanation. However, it is the only way I can account for what I am experiencing from day-to- day.
To illustrate how difficult it is for me to stay awake, I fell asleep at least five times writing the above paragraph alone. Similarly, from a spiritual perspective staying awake requires a certain vigilance, a tenacity that comes from strength of spirit alone. Note that when I fell asleep physically, my mind was still highly occupied and I was aware of what it was experiencing. Not as the active doer, but as the watcher. I don't judge the states that I experience. I observe what is there to see, and try to find any hidden meaning -- but, I don't judge the experience. I believe that all experience is useful and purposeful.
The spiritual world is around us now, wherever we are. It has always been around us regardless of whether we were near a church or not. From my standpoint spirituality is the most intimate relationship that we can have with our creator. Church might be a place to start this training, but the most advanced in the class will need to discover their personal relationship with spirit. When this happens, one begins to see all life as ONE -- one has found home at last. Unfortunately, these days are few and far between. However, as one continues to grow spiritually, one finds that they are here for a particular purpose in the larger scheme of things. They have a task that is theirs to do for which they are uniquely qualified. This is how the body for Cosmic Consciousness will be born. Individual cells that have focused on their own needs will see how much easier and more effective things can be if cells group together into more efficient specialized units. Literally, each cell is given a task for which it is suited that is also beneficial to the overall whole. In return for participating in this process, the cell is given all that it needs for as long as it exists. For real cells, this already exists. For individuals as cells of the body of Cosmic Consciousness, it is not clear how many are already living in this manner, nor how many are required. My sense is that the current number may be higher than expected, and that the critical threshold is soon to be achieved. Many have been and are being activated in the past year and the year to come. These beings will form a core group of interdependent souls who support and rely on one another to enable spirit to become enfleshed.
I don't know how many it will take. Yet, I know it will indeed happen. It is part of The Plan. Further, it will happen when the time is right, not one minute before. And the Dawn of the First Day of Aquarius will launch spiritual glories that are beyond imagination. Star Trek will become mere child's play. (Although, this could take some investment and work to do physically).
Why am I falling asleep all the time? First, because it is a reaction to the drugs in your system. Second, because of your beliefs about side effects of the drugs that you are taking. Third, lack of trust in your body's ability to handle the drugs without the effects. But falling asleep even in the midst of writing metaphysics is a tough thing to overcome. It's a bit frustrating that I don't sense that I have control over my waking consciousness. As far as I know, this has not happened to me before -- it feels very strange. I'll just flow with it awhile and see what comes up, working on areas where the flow can be increased and minimizing areas where the flow is impeded. I assume that since I'm still here, there is something missing in terms of my growth and/or my interactions with others. This could also have something to do with Gini as well.
For the world, the signs that show the infrastructure is starting to shift are out there. If some scientists could agree that these signs demonstrate that some of the insights found in the book The Celestine Prophecy, progress could occur much quicker.
OK, universe, what specific tasks do you have for me in the near term?
Keep doing what you're doing. Know that consciousness supports and guides your every step. Walk your talk, and make your mission your primary life's work. In return you will indeed be abundant. You are one of the special few who came to this world to help as midwives that allow an age to be born. One of the chief tasks was development of a set of teachings that allow people to understand what is going on. To some degree, you are meant to be a scribe for this era documenting the transition based primarily on your first hand experience.
Now that you've subjected your will, you need not ask us to supply you with the specifics of what you are to do. We've enlisted all of you into our ranks, not just a part of who you are. No part is dirty, contaminated, or less than in any way. This you must know! You are beautiful creatures designed to house consciousness. Sometimes you may have to see further than the skin to see this for certain. Each of you have the same basic capabilities. You are hu-man, literally god-men on this planet, though this is only in potential until you realize the fact of your own nature. This applies equally to women on this planet.
Our will is one of our most powerful tools for creating reality. It can be used just as easily for spreading light and truth as it can for maintaining darkness and illusion. This is one of the reasons why you came as a spiritual warrior this time. Clearly, to do this job to its full potential requires that you use your will in accord with the Plan. And, when you use it in this manner, don't hold back. Allow the fire nature to come out and consume or dispel any darkness. Also, allow your Leo nature it's full expression as your face to the world. Live in the style you are accustomed to and that is most appropriate for getting your work done. You are to write, teach, and consult on spiritual matters. The Aquarian Age is based on such standards, so there will be many in need of your services. The Play will arrange for you to meet those most in need of your services. Use your intuition to assist in this process.
Let every part of your being resonate with your mission and purpose. We say this because the vibrations act like a perfume. People will pick them up not knowing consciously what they are, but their subconscious will know. Further, it will realize that such a service is available when needed. For the most part this is an automatic process that goes on all the time. Beings in sync with your purpose will migrate to you now that you've reached a threshold level of awareness.
Your particular mode of interacting prefers small groups. This will be respected as much as is possible. Occasionally, we may expect you to talk before larger crowds. By that time, public speaking will be second nature to you. There are many to convince that are nowhere near being ready to hear or see what you have to present. Don't worry, other elements of the plan deal with those things so that by the time they reach you, they are ready to get it.
4 May 94
Here we are again, consciousness enfleshed. Gini and I did an exercise with the pendulum as the oracle. In the process, we found out where the oracle is coming from. For a pendulum, the answers come from the subconscious, so the quality of what comes out will depend on what has been put in. Gini was surprised by straightforward questions such as whether the color of a shirt is a specific color turned out wrong. Part of the problem is that spirit works solely on trust and faith -- it will not be tested. The oracles can be used to gain information but it is up to the individual to act based on that information. Both the Runes and the Animal Medicine Cards have been providing consistently good and appropriate information for me. In fact, the information is so consistent that I have to laugh at the humor of it all. My world definitely provides feedback to me that others never see. This information creates connections in my brain regarding the nature of reality and reality creation. Much of my focus lies in exactly that area. How do we, as souls, incarnate? To what degree do we create our own reality? How do we do this? What are we here to learn? How do we get spirit enfleshed to a greater degree? How does the larger shift to the Aquarian Age impact all of this?
I believe that I came into the world for a specific reason; namely, to facilitate getting spirit enfleshed to the highest degree possible at this time on this planet. Yes it is a big task, but it is a required task and there are probably others out there starting to realize that this is their souls task as well. Spirit will ensure that those who are needed are where they must be for the Grand Play of Consciousness to proceed according to the Plan for this transfer from one age to another.
You are here to do as you believe. But, there is more to it than that. Your love of luxury and homes on a massive scale are the Leo rising sign coming out, really for the first time -- although some of the items you already own are quite pretentious. We won't tell you directly what you're next move will be or when it will occur. These are up to you to decide or allow as you wish. Look for signs if you want, for they can definitely provide advice. But, your life is yours now in a way that has never before manifested. For what you now speak becomes a law unto itself and sets in motion a chain of events that leads to the desired results. Notice what is around you. Wherever you see the possibility for improvement, speak out. It doesn't matter whether anyone is around. The universe hears your voice and consciousness sends it to whomever is best suited to implement it. Participate in life. Play, have fun, and do whatever you find necessary to accomplish your mission. Here too, we are available to provide advice and serve as channels of information through you, as we are doing now.
Why is it so difficult to work on my Loral work? You already know the answer. It just doesn't excite you anymore. Further, your knowingness that the whole economic system is somewhat of a farce makes you somewhat oblivious to it's rules. At the core, you know that money has no true value -- especially on the spiritual side. This does not mean you have to live in poverty. Spirit promises abundance to all who serve her. Furthermore, the abundance will be in terms that each individual, couple, or group has defined. Yet, I'm still here, plodding around day-to-day not able to stay fully awake in this dream. I must have work that I can enjoy. Responsibility, I gladly take in exchange for a leadership role in the play. Some people are happy exactly where they are and don't want change to rock their boat. I'm not like that at all. I'd prefer to see change on a very grand scale that puts me in a position to do what I came to do. Exactly what this will be and when it will start I do not know. Nevertheless, I know that a time of major change is coming soon. The time to get prepared is now. At some point, tomorrow will be too late. Interesting, very interesting.
Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and unto God that which is God's. What am I responsible for? Money has meaning in the physical world. It can be exchanged for labor or things. What happens when the money balance is overdrawn and there is not sufficient funds to cover everything? Is it for us to settle all our accounts before we can begin our spiritual jobs, or can the abundance of the universe kick in to help us? God helps those who help themselves, and even greater, those who take the extra step to help others as well.
Are the words that I'm writing meant for a large audience or are they my person journal of a soul undergoing an intense spiritual awakening? Any more, I have no deep desire or preference either way. That they exist as my personal record is enough. I've read them several times. If they are meant to serve others, it does not matter to me whether this is ten or ten thousands. My sense is that the words are coming forth for a purpose that is larger than programming me. One particular beneficial use is to provide an example of what a mind can produce when it undergoes spiritual awakenings and starts to live a spiritual life here and now. There is not a single thing that we need that is not being provided for in the moment. That includes your particular job and its associated commute. The Play is as it is so that every detail is meticulously laid out to be meaningful. Consciousness is wonderful at this. Meaning occurs at many levels. It's all a matter of focus of attention. Each of us has the freedom to focus our attention. This, however, is one of very few freedoms that we possess. Yet, this is really the only freedom that means anything. So how do we apply this freedom? The first choice is Light and Darkness. If we're still on this planet, we chose Darkness. Why? Because this is the only place where ignorance and light fight it out for the revelation to occur. Darkness is simply a lack of Light. Light comes from developing and keeping a personal relationship with one's creator, Consciousness. Darkness comes from one of the greatest Angels, Satan believing itself to be equal to the Creator. This is the key mistake one can make, allowing the Ego to become over-inflated to the point where it believes that it is God. In the Tarot, the Devil is Card 15. It requires card 63 to reach completion. Actually, any combinations of cards that total 63 are appropriate. There are always many roads to any destination.
I've had so many realizations and awakenings in the past few weeks that I no longer know exactly when and what they were. However, I know that I focused on each one until I understood it thoroughly; so the ideas are locked in my mind somewhere in a manner that will allow them to be recalled when necessary. I am putting the legs under the tables so to speak. I don't know how many tables there are nor how solid these tables are. All I know is that I trust where Consciousness is taking me with all my Heart. I know only glimpses of where we might be headed. One of my tasks is to experience and then to communicate what I find to others. Most of this is to be done via writing. It's the medium that I am most comfortable with, and one that requires few tools. A pencil and pad of paper will do. However, a word processor is preferred. It would be nice to hook up with Tony Robbins. I know that I could help him setup an appropriate level of spiritual training in his courses. Further, I believe that I could demonstrate or explain some things to him that he would recognize as useful. I need to think about this a bit more. What specifically could I show him that would make a difference? Remember, spirit does not respond to tests. The astrology, numerology, runes and tarot are a start. Diagrams showing the relationships of the four elements of man; physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Charts explaining what it is that I want to teach and how these tie to material that is already in the course.
The universe gives you her gifts as soon as you are ready for them, not a moment sooner or later. Watch what you ask for. The universe is quite tricky. It is good at finding ways to meet your needs with side effects that are less than desirable. Also, be strong in your desires or wishes. Strength is a key ingredient for getting things done. Make sure that when you ask, you ask from a position of humility to the Creator itself. Remember, you are not God, only a part of God. WE are GOD. You were right about creating a vehicle for allowing us to manifest more fully. In particular, that this required specialization of labor. What we didn't foresee was how corrupt society would get, and how few would pay attention to the spiritual. That's OK, it's enough that even one make it to the desired condition to have a prototype that can be used for all. The most difficult task was in growing and programming the parts and pathways of the brain. The 60's let us know what happened when particular mind altering drugs were taken. In the nineties we use similar drugs that are authorized for particular conditions. I wonder whether others that are undergoing spiritual awakenings are being put on these drugs as well. Perhaps we'll find each other via the side effects of the drugs that we use. It's a bit ironic that someone who never tried or used drugs except for colds now has to take several potent drugs as many as three times a day. It just doesn't seem right for some reason. I sense that there will be one day soon when this will no longer be required. But, until then, I will do as the Doctor ordered. Until that day, I trust that consciousness made sure that I got the right Doctor to do it's bidding and prescribe the right combination of drugs for the state of mind that I require to do my work elegantly.
Everyday now is matter of trust in consciousness and the universe. Out of that trust and openness everything can be achieved. Resources can be coordinated to do all that needs to be done. Each person should maintain a job, yet should also participate in doing tasks required by the whole. When I close my eyes I see some moving objects, but not the movie of my future life that I desire to see. I realize that it is a great responsibility to bear witnessing such a secret and then never being able to talk about it.
You're starting to catch the humor through which spirit works. Further, you're really starting to see in ways that you have never seen before. Everything that exists is a mirror of what the people of the country and your world believe. This filters down to the nature of the specific communities that exist. Every aspect of your world and your life has a spiritual component to it. It's only a matter of seeking it to find it. The spiritual universe is there, right where you are, but you must change your frequency to see it. In time, all will see it. Until then, those who have had some awakening should be the wayshowers for others helping to guide the way.
Might as well continue my musings. I still expect major change anytime now. The seeds have been planted so that it could come in a variety of ways. I don't have time to consider all the possibilities and their ramifications. I trust that consciousness will let me know when the time is right. Further, whatever comes is what I need to experience at that moment. In the current moment, I am here late, in an office that I no longer want to work in and with a company I no longer want to work for. Yet, I must work, because we (Gini and I) need the income to sustain our lifestyle. The way has not yet been shown that will allow me to offer any particular service for a price to others. Further, the only work that truly excites me anymore is the metaphysics involved in how the spiritual world works. I want to know specifically how the process of reality creation works. And I want to know it starting from the top down. I've been exposed to many things in my life, yet I've always had an attitude of being non-judgmental. I trusted that everything had its place and that people were generally good. Because of overlap and the sheer volume of information, there had to be many inconsistencies in some of the information. Recently, I tasked my brain to work on finding a framework where all the information could be true. Whatever framework arose would be the best map of reality and reality creation that we have to date. My sense is that it is still working feverishly on this; however, many of the problems have already been resolved via use of perspectives.
I'm also feeling a bit stuck. It is time to wait, but I'm not used to waiting. Patience, all in its right time. That still doesn't change the nature of the wait. I guess I should be celebrating and enjoying myself more. However, I don't feel that is appropriate now. My mind is a bit twisted. I can work on this writing anytime. But, when it comes to the Loral work my mind goes to sleep or flies away. Neither activity is conducive to doing my job. Yes, but what job do you wish to do? Your very actions answer that question. Who hired you to do the personal writing? Consciousness itself. In fact, you are a channel through which she speaks are you not? And you do this all for free? Why? If you're looking for a contract, go elsewhere. Consciousness does not work that way. Then, how do I ensure my wife that my income will continue over time. I'm about ready to jump off the cliff so to speak and fly or die. My wife hasn't reached that state yet. Further, my sense is that there is something important that I must do in the next several years to prepare the world for what is to come. We are living in momentous times. Many shifts will occur as the millennium approaches. At the same time, many people are asleep. We need to find ways to wake people up and keep them awake. The Earth itself is changing, and only those people that have awakened will be able to ride with her through the changes. Others will be given a new planet on which to manifest and learn.
5 May 94
It's interesting that the first tarot card I got today, representing where I'm at now was card 23, the king of cups (the "monarch of ideas" = the philosopher king). Why today? It's 5/5/94 = 5|5|23 = 33. Also, it's 55|23 = 78. There is something special in the air. Some type of change is immediate. It's as if it is already done but I just don't see it yet. I feel a bit jazzed or supercharged. It is about time for my character to activate in ways that it has only glimpsed before. Every experience was necessary to getting me to this place where I am aware that I AM. The next step is to get whole groups of people to this level so that we can start creating conscious groupings. We've explored where we can go as individuals long enough. Now, it is time to show where we can go through group cooperation and understanding.
The whole month of April was an interesting time for me. Things were connecting quickly, with major realizations happening too fast to even write about them. Now, looking back, most of this is already forgotten to my conscious mind. I used up a lot of post-it paper recording some of the things that I was realizing. Perhaps I can reconstruct some of what happened from these. My sense is that the experience was enough, so this is not necessary at this time.
I'm still in a waiting mode of operation, looking for instructions as to where my character is to go next. What comes back is go wherever you are drawn, do whatever work comes your way, and be happy in the process. From a higher level, I understand this. It's at the lower level that the difficulty comes in. The issue is security and trust in spirit. Furthermore, it involves allowing spirit to flow freely without subjecting it to any tests. The power of spirit can resolve any problem so long as this is done without expectancy of results. The basic material is there for bringing the Age of Aquarius in at any time. It is a matter of when enough of us have achieved ONE in the game of life. Yes, life is more of a game that you might think.
My fortune today read: "Your intuition is excellent but another viewpoint could be helpful". Interesting, I wonder what viewpoint it has in mind? Is it from another person or from some spiritual state? Whatever. I'll recognize it when it shows up.
What can I do to facilitate change? You already know the answer. Trust even more and be patient. Consciousness will unfold the Plan in the proper timing. All that you can do is to prepare yourself by working to know thyself as much as possible. You can also continue in your pursuit of understanding the spiritual world and the process of reality creation. The spiritual world has much in common with the physical world. Similar laws apply. This means that no matter which way you turn you will be confronted by the same basic structures and laws. The bottom line is that all flows from consciousness. Everything operates in accord with universal laws. It's interesting that the truths that our best theoretical physicists are finding sound as if they are coming from our best metaphysicians and priests.
I have a sense that much of the course of the world in the next 5 years is already planned. It will be interesting to participate in the unfoldment of this plan. My sense is that I have a major role to play in all of this. But, that may be coming from whatever remains of my Ego. I believe that I have sacrificed my ego already, but I still feel the need to be wary. The Leo rising sign will come across as high Ego, regardless of the true nature that lies within. Being a triple fire, you will not be able to contain the energy that flows through you. If your Ego tried to contain it, it would literally be burnt to ashes. You're very close to the time when your astrological energies can finally come out. Gini, as a triple fire also, will be able to relate to and enjoy these changes as well. One thing is certain, you cannot work much longer at a job that you find boring or less than satisfying. Take heart, another job is on its way shortly, and you will absolutely love it. It will bring out your true colors, capabilities, and talents in a way that you could never have dreamed. We tell you this because you are ready to hear it. Yes, it sounds grandiose again, but, you are a grandiose being -- in more ways than one. On that topic, start using the Herbalife to bring your weight down: first because your wife desires it, second because your brain operates better when your body condition is better. Remember, you are here to manifest spirit in flesh to the highest degree possible at this time on this planet.
Back again. This is the only task that seems to be keeping me awake. It's definitely the one that I enjoy most. OK consciousness, here's your chance. What would you bring forth through me at this time? You world is reaching some dire straits. It will take a united effort to fix the problems that have arisen. The problems can only be corrected via physical effort that is inspired by spiritual effort. The spirit world has some kinks of its own caused primarily by lack of light in some areas. Wherever there is lack of light, the devil appears. The devil is an entity just as cosmic consciousness. Remember, Lucifer was the epitome of Light until he decided that he was equal in Light to God. This was a big mistake on the one hand but it set up the way for our present trip through limitation. It's been a very long journey, and on the way, we became experts at limitation -- hopefully so no other consciousness has to experience this particular path.
Now is the time for the final battle of Dark vs Light in accord with Revelation. The ending is not completely certain, for the forces of darkness are prevalent throughout the land. However, we have right and God on our side -- so, we will be victorious. The main question is how many can be saved from the trauma of a battle that turns everything upside down. Further, training is required to provide people a basic understanding of how the world will work after the battle. There is still hope that we can make this a minor skirmish rather than a full blown battle. We do that by awakening enough people to their true spiritual nature. If the Army of Light is sufficient in size, no amount of darkness can get in its way. The transformation will come as easily as sweeping the dirt from a carpet with a vacuum cleaner. Whenever Light and Dark come into contact, Light always leaves stronger and Dark weaker.
9 May 94
Still having problems falling into sleep often while driving, while working, everywhere. It has to be a side effect of the combination of medications that I am taking. It's to the point where it is somewhat dangerous. This has to be fixed quickly. I'm feeling slightly depressed also. Very sluggish as well. There is no energy for movement. The place where my mind goes when I nod of to sleep is a fun place, where various scenes come up and issues are resolved or questions are answered. Overall, things in my life are going well. I'd much rather have them be fantastic with me so enthusiastic about my work that I couldn't nod off even if I wanted to. This is coming, I just know it. The only question is when. Why not now? I have some free time and could use that on getting the metaphysical community organized, or at least, put together some reasoning that shows why such organization is beneficial to everyone.
It would be helpful to sample the services provided by each person to get direct experience of what they do. In particular, I want to know what depth of spirit each person has achieved. Perhaps a good start would be my spiritual evaluation questionnaire. It would also be interesting to know how each person believes their work is done.
This could be a true test case for determining how this could be done on even a more massive scale. Here again, my sense is that I am to be a teacher of teachers. To do that, I must keep at least one step ahead of the teachers. With the Fool as my heart's desire, this should be something that I can do. In fact, it will be a great challenge -- however, I am definitely up to it.
Is there anything you would like to say to me?
We appreciate the opportunity to speak once again. The current conditions that you find difficult to deal with are temporary. We have to keep you in this state a little while longer. The timing is not yet right to move you into a different space or state. Keep having your realizations and awakenings. The more you have, the better prepared you will be for your next position. Your number 1 job through all of this is to Know Thyself to the greatest degree possible. You've already found that this is exhausting work, and that you require much more sleep than normal. Don't worry about that, it is natural to need the extra sleep. Also, you are dreaming a lot more, so work is being done in the dreamtime as well. Keep on keeping on. Take it one day at a time, and don't worry about what gets done on a particular day. Consult your oracles as frequently as you like.
It's time for a brainstorm on where to go next, a brainstorm with conscious, subconscious, and superconscious as the primary players. We need to understand our position with respect to the Plan. Actually, we would like to know this so that we can be knowledgeable participants. You will be given such knowingness at that time when you truly have a need to know. It is good that you ask, however, for that shows us that the time is near when you will need this awareness.
How many people are aware of the existence of the Plan in the U.S.? Are there tens, hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands? By now, I suspect we number in the hundreds to thousands. Is there only one group identity? No, there are several -- seven in particular which have not come together. Do these groups correspond to the rays? Yes, of course. Do these groups know that they are part of one being as well. Does the entire set of groups have a center. Divine Love and Wisdom is the central flame and organizing principle. Am I to meet any others in this group? I have this feeling that I am the center point around which they will come. But, there is also a sense that ego drives this answer. I have this strong disdain for being ordinary. I don't mind not being seen at all, but when I am seen I want my colors fully out there -- at least part of the time. I know, this conflicts with the idea of the Hermit. However, nothing says that I can't be an eccentric hermit.
10 May 93
Here we go again. The focus is still on what is in store for the rest of the month. I know, I must take each day as it comes and do whatever I can to facilitate my own spiritual understanding and that of whatever others call on me. My intuition and its access to my superconscious is now my chief guide. Our life is in accord with the Plan now. It's just a matter of being attentive enough to keep it on this path. It's time to think in terms of making every minute count. Every minute is now. Change happens only at the immediate point where everything stops. Focus on this for awhile and see if you can find that point in consciousness. You may need to try many times before you are successful, then again, you may get there in the first attempt. But please, do this exercise -- it is important to your growth.
There is a common agreement that seems to pervade our common physical reality. It governs how we view things in the physical world. From my viewpoint we seem to be living in our own little private worlds, with limited communication or interaction between these worlds. Yes, each of us truly has our own private world along with the freedom to determine what it means. Seeming outside stuff comes into our world only when we request or allow it in some manner. This is all done via the beliefs that we hold about ourselves, our world, and others.
Life is a joyous romp in the playground of our world, in the midst of our planet, in the midst of a solar system, galaxy, and universe. Universe is interesting -- one verse. I wonder just what that verse was that kicked off this whole adventure in consciousness? Wait awhile on that one, there are much more immediate questions dealing with the Birth of the Age of Aquarius that ought to be addressed. Am I able to deal with some of the details of this transformation now? Yes, or we wouldn't have even mentioned it. Further, are there steps that I can take here and now to bring forth information on this -- in particular, information that will get others to move and act as well. That depends on how much you bring through and how inspiring you are in getting it to people. My sense is that the people meant to see my works are somehow being drawn to me even as I write. I don't see promotion as being the way my words get out. Actually, I believe a class would be the most effective way of transferring the basis of a spiritual understanding to people. What we want to get is a spiritual breakthrough in people so that they have a direct experience that they can relate to when discussing a spiritual foundation that support their experience. I don't know yet what this will be for most people. I imagine that information about each individual can be used to tailor the experience to the specific person. It also may be that a handful of basic methods are sufficient. It would also be useful to have a questionnaire that provides information about a persons level of awareness.
Awareness is it. It is what is required to begin the Aquarian Age. The hope is to get many to enough of an awakening to change how they live and how they treat their fellow brethren. The government will do this for the masses. The Light Workers need to do this for their whole community and for as many others as they are connected to as well. For the most part, these will constitute their spiritual family. It is also possible that the masses can be reached as well through the media but I wouldn't count on it at this time. The battle of Light vs Dark has arrived at our doorstep. Those already hooked to the light are fine. Dark is simply a shadow caused by how Light (Lucifer) deceived himself. By believing he was as great as God, he set up a scenario for the Play of Light vs Dark. The simple error was one that we all might make, our ego believes that we have power - - great power in some area. The inflated Ego may even think it is all powerful. What one loses in this process, however, is the tie we have to the true spark of God which is the divine in us. Whenever the ego is not in submission to the subconscious, the superconscious has no voice. In this world at this time, it is very difficult to get people to deflate their ego. Even in the metaphysical community, we see people with strong egos talking about how they create their own reality and doing whatever it takes to make their conscious goals come true. The bottom line is that they too are coming from darkness. In some cases, maybe even many cases, they do get what they want -- thus pumping the ego even more. At some point they need to understand that all the things, wealth, entertainment, etc... don't mean anything. Yes they lead to a comfortable life and keep one busy, but they don't give one the meaning of existence.
This is where life mastery comes into play. Life Masters should have all of their component parts in balance. This includes physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. I feel that my job is to help blaze the trail for what is required to teach the spiritual part of this without infringing on the particular religion that anyone may have. My experiences got me here without much exposure to religions. It should be easy for me to keep the material presented free of such baggage. What I haven't experienced, I don't know. Actually, this may not be the case anymore. My sense is that I have access to information and talents from past and future lives. Because this comes from the Heart and my superconscious is flowing well I believe there is a rich storehouse of information and abilities that can be tapped. Further, it is not clear that lesson plans or notes are required at least for the early classes. Flyers can provide a brief overview of the topic, but the classes should be spontaneous.
So, what is next. It feels like it is time for another project. Perhaps a book, maybe a manual for awakening that combines the best of ideas from my notes and books. Something short and sweet, on the order of 50 pages of so that provides practical instructions that people can really use. I'm up to this, or at the very least, I can pick myself up for this. Though, the material ought to be fresh. The other way will work also, however, the Aries in me won't have me work from something already completed. The same material will come, but it will be wrapped in new clothes. Also, I need to start doing some of this writing at home. I have three day weekends now so I should be able to get a lot done. Thus far, I haven't been motivated to use this time effectively. I've needed a lot of rest and zone out time. I'm not sure what my mind is doing when it zones out. My sense is that it is integrating experiences that need to be integrated. As of this weekend, things will be different. I'll still give my mind some integration time, but I also want to write some notes and work on a Manual for Awakening. This manual in fact may provide a workbook for classes. I like it. This seems like a great place to start. Further, the classes/workshops may be the mechanism through which I meet the various people that I am meant to meet in Monterey. Then again, maybe not. I could ask spirit about this, but I sense this is a test of my ability to operate autonomously. My intuition says do the manual/workbook first and then find out what comes next. In living the spiritual life, operate in the now as much as you can. Worry about today first, then the next few days or week. Give yourself some flexibility by not nailing anything down on your schedule until it has to be addressed. Sometimes there is simply no way to avoid a longer lead time, but this should be relatively rare.
Will I receive enough abundance from spirit to move into a position of spiritual advisor to the state? (philosopher king is a bit much for my wife and others.) You will, but not until events have forced the country and its politicians to see that these and other metaphysical positions are required to carry us into the Aquarian Age. Quit worrying so much about the future and come back to the present. What can you do now to get spirit more fully expressed in flesh. And, not just your spirit but that of others around you as well. Do what it takes to make this part of your day, every day. Find at least one thing you can realize or get another to realize each day. Look around, the situations in which you can do this will be all around you. But, I'm a Hermit. That's your souls choice. It can be redone if that be your desire. No, I'll stick to the Plan as it has been revealed to me. You've been less than happy lately. How much of an example is that to others. What does it mean to be spirit more fully expressed in flesh? What does it mean when you say that you are God? Think about these awhile before you answer. If assisting people in doing this is your task, then make sure you understand what this entails. Define the terms so that they are understandable to others. This is indeed a lofty task. However, you were indeed chosen as the one to do it. Many applied for the position -- it was your background that exceeded the others. Consciousness works elegantly. Every resource is put in a position where it can be of the most use to the Plan. Nothing is overlooked, every last detail is nailed down.
Am I truly separate from this body that I occupy? Can I experience this separation first hand? Are the short sleep episodes that I am experiencing during the day occurrences of this? When they happen I feel aware of the images in my mind -- not fully aware but partially. Is it time for receiving or opening the seventh sense, the ability to enter and leave the body at will? Further can I work in a manner that can affect the physical world while I'm in this state? This is what the 33 card of the Tarot is all about.
Am I just a watcher of the play, or do I have a real role in impacting what happens? Only the aware ones have impact. Everything else is a play where the following moment is scripted for the purpose of giving people the lessons they need to become aware of basic spiritual principles. Individual reality is built up out of individual beliefs, and overall reality from the beliefs of the mass consciousness.
I'm aware that the inheritance that I received in my 35th year was a spiritual one. Part of it came as this period of intense spiritual awakenings, all timed by my birth. My sense is, however, that there is someone that I am supposed to be working through -- possibly a female, but someone that I don't yet know. If this is indeed true, then I know that spirit will ensure that we meet at the right time and place, under the appropriate circumstances.
Why are we still struggling with paying the bills? It is time for abundance to kick in. I don't want to supersede the workings of the plan however. If this current situation is beneficial to either Gini or I, then let it remain until we have learned our lessons in this area. My preference would be enough of this nonsense, I choose to be abundant now. In particular, income will be more than sufficient to meet all current bills and provide a decent amount of money for other living experiences.
Why am I spending 46 hours per week at my current job. I'd prefer a job working directly for spirit in exchange for abundance. With Leo rising, abundance is a substantial amount. Yet, what are my abilities truly worth. My key skill is writing through my subconscious. It's been there most of my life. However, I do have a unique mental balance between left and right brain activity. My aura colors, my astrology chart, my numerology, and my tarot all show signs that I am in the very top strata of individuals in this country. I should be employed in a position where my skills are used appropriately. I think very top down and have developed skill at seeing the big picture and conveying it to others. What I ask for in return is abundance -- anything I need. I'm at a level of spiritual understanding where I am beyond greed. Further, a need is different than a want and usually carries a reason with it.
11 May 94
I'm feeling much more awake today for some reason of which I'm not even aware. Perhaps the moon or the astrological energies are more conducive to my state of balance and awareness. With the drugs I am taken, my body seems to be just within an acceptable balance. My mind is in an even stranger state. My reality is a bit out of whack. I see the results by watching myself and observing how I do things. In particular it's fun to watch how meaning gets assigned to things and how actions flow from multiple sources:
a. in reaction to threats or physical changes in the physical reality,
b. in reaction to the way meaning is assigned to an event or action,
c. in reaction to how a new meaning conflicts with other meanings.
My body's natural clock seems to be going off after about 6-7 hours of sleep. Typically, however, I go back to sleep rather than waking up at the early time. My sense is that my superconscious or subconscious know exactly how much sleep is beneficial to me. If I awoke, this would provide an hour to two hours for doing something each morning. Hmm, I'll have to think about that. At the very least, I could be reading during that time.
You are right. We are trying to make you aware of your own body rhythms. The improvement is absolutely amazing when you live you life in tune with all life and with the universe itself. Trust the signals you get. They will be subtle at first, however as you learn to trust them they will grow into massive waves that you cannot fail to move with even if you wanted to. The object that hit your windshield this morning was a sign for you to wake up even more. It will have many meanings as you reflect on it and allow your intuition to bring forth information. Yes, it did some damage, but this was necessary to get your full attention and to bring home the fact that this event is highly significant. You noted the time correctly as 8:05. That's what the clock read. And yes there is a relationship between 5 to 8 and 5 after 8. Somewhere in that interval you had to experience 8:00. Actually, it may be more correct to say that you inherited it. Also remember that 00 = 22 = The Fool. This makes 8:00 = 8:22 = 30 = HARTMAN. 8:05 is also 85 equals 7 exalted, The Chariot. These are some very powerful connections. The rotated C shape of the crack in the windshield also signifies 3 or the Empress. You might even say that the Empress is now riding in your Chariot. Very interesting, indeed. There must also be something interesting in the date 11 May 94. 5+11= 16 The Tower. 16+23=39, the Knight of Cups. This is the only card that is its own completion. Interesting that these same cards keep coming up in my life: 3, 7, 16, 22, 23, 30, 39. I'm surprised that 44 didn't show up as well.
It's also interesting that the C shaped crack is virtually in the center of the windshield both sideways and from top to bottom. It seems odd that this is the case unless its purpose is to provide a portal to something. Coming in today, I was expecting to see something important through the circle that contains the C. If something did appear there today, I did not see it. Another matter of importance is that C could mean "see". Then the message would be that I am seeing in a shifted or rotated manner or that I should be seeing in such a manner. The angle of shift is roughly 45 degrees clockwise. There must be some significance in this as well. However, I don't sense that I'm ready to hear this yet.
So, what am I to do with all of this information. How do I use it in a manner that supports doing my tasks in accord with the plan. Thus far, I only have high level details about what I'm here to do. I know what most of my abilities are, but I can't translate that into the day to day activity and work that I am meant to do. I'm still working at a job that basically only comes close to paying the bills. The people and the environment are basically nice, but this is not the optimum environment for getting my true work done. Although, by page count, maybe it isn't so bad. I'm sure that I could get much more done with an office in Monterey -- especially an office that has the room for eight - twelve people in an interactive class. Actually, I wouldn't mind holding smaller sessions as well. If the office was within walking distance from the house, I could take breaks whenever I needed to without any problems. I long to be "a simple and independent mind who does not toil at the bidding of any prince", per Thoreau. Right now the only means I see for doing that is to replace my current income in a manner that does not have me working for anyone but consciousness itself. Further, I know not how to get such a job. I have made my appeal and provided my resume to consciousness, and await its reply. In the mean time we take each day one day at a time doing whatever feels right to my consciousness. This communication is an example of the work that I do freely. Yes, it benefits me as it comes through. However, I sense that it has a higher purpose of providing an intimate example of how spirit and consciousness works.
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I just picked the Tarot card that I need most to focus on between now and Friday. Two cards came up stuck together, The Star (17) and The Knight of Cups (39). I spoke about the Knight of Cups on the page above and here it is again already. This is part of how I check on the validity of the information from the subconscious and the superconscious. I'm certain by now that the channel from the superconscious to the subconscious is wide open and fairly clear. In fact, this improves day by day. Further, I trust that the subconscious to conscious channel is wide open and very clear. This has taken many years to develop as much as it has because the ego does not like to subject its will to any source. Only after protracted effort does it believe that there are such things as greater sources than it. This is the ball and chain that most people carry. Their ego ties them to this world of illusion, thinking that the world is real and that they have real power within the world. At one level, it definitely appears this way. But, it is all a game and a play. The whole purpose of the Play is to provide the environment needed for people to discover what and whom they truly are. What we are in reality is spirit or god-stuff. Though, looking out into the world, this does not appear to be the case. But, there is the fallacy. One must go beyond appearances to realize truth.
As to more fully expressing spirit in flesh, one has to ask how is spirit attached to flesh at all. One alternative is that it occupies flesh completely as an energy field or perhaps even several energy fields. Information flow happens primarily in the brain in the conscious, subconscious, and superconscious channels. The first level of awareness is just a basic physical one. It understands the need for food, clothing, shelter and little else. The second level of awareness includes emotional needs such as security, companionship and even love. It also starts to allow knowing expression of the subconscious. The third level of awareness adds an understanding of the mental faculties and reasoning. It also starts to think in terms of goals and working to achieve them. The fourth level of awareness starts to become aware of the need to incorporate information from the subconscious with the conscious to operate as a whole person. This brings an added efficiency in reality creation over what the conscious alone can do. The fifth level of awareness adds a link to the superconscious. This may be reached from either the second or fourth levels of awareness. The subconscious is the link through which this connection is made. The sixth level moves up further. The conscious - subconscious - superconscious trinity in the mind is watched by another portion of self which is not part of these three. This is the first true level of awareness. The awareness is dissassociated from what it is watching. The experience is as if you were watching a movie of yourself doing whatever you are doing -- not having any insight into the details that might be driving the action and decisions. This is a rough cut. I expect that we'll see some changes as we go along in our quest of understanding consciousness herself, and how to more fully express spirit in these bodies.
One thing that came to mind is to consider our bodies to be complex machines whose sole purpose all along has been to serve as vehicles for housing consciousness or spirit. All of evolution and all of the development of humanity from ancient times through the present has been a long journey toward making this vessel as suitable as possible given the techniques that were available. Now, we are at the threshold where the dream is about to become a reality. We will see a breakthrough in how much spirit can be expressed in flesh. We have seen several individuals over time who have served as examples, but they were very special souls. Here we are dealing with a massive expression of spirit in millions, if not billions of souls. We're on the verge of a wake up call beyond anything that has been experienced before at least as far as I know. However, this is exactly what the Age of Aquarius promises.
12 May 94
Once again, it's been a struggle staying awake. It's turning into a real battle. The meaning of the battle is unclear at this point. At the extremes, either this is supposed to show me that I'm not meant to be here anymore or it is to teach me how to overcome boredom and drowsiness. It's an interesting position to be in anyway. It would be nice if both were eliminated. However, I still require an income to cover the bills each month. How much do I trust my place as a cell of God? How much do I trust that I have reached a level of awareness where all that I need will be provided unto me? This has been so all of my life. Why should it change now. Gini and I have built up quite a bit of abundance in the past 6 years. Losing it is frightening to her. From my perspective things are different. The abundance we have built up is for the most part things. They are nice, but they are replaceable. We haven't really put in the effort to build an emotional richness, though Gini does this with her network of friends. We've spent some time reading books that involved metaphysics and self-help. Spiritual awareness is another subject altogether. It is the only one that truly addresses the maxim "know thyself". By far, this is the most important work that has been done. It is the only stuff we get to keep. Knowledge is the only true power. Knowledge of self, then Self, then God is the way we finally realize our true nature.
I'm still wondering how much of this is simply a Play, written for our amusement and learning. At each step the Play gives to us exactly what is needed to learn particular lessons. The Play is built with options or branches that depend on how much we have realized who we are. So, are we responsible for what we do? Not exactly, karmic events are balanced at the time they are generated now. This is a recent development, however.
As to being a part of God, the analogy of the body is a good one. Each cell has a particular position and a function within the body. When you realize Self, you become aware of your part and function in the scheme of things. There are many entities that make up your Self. Some may be operating in your time, others may not be. When you operate in the Here and Now, you breakthrough into a new understanding. There is only ONE and it is HERE and NOW. You can't imagine life without time and space. However it is only in these constructed dimensions that plays of light and dark can manifest. Consider your dramas and movies in film or live. They always exist in light and shadow. Yes, the characters are all real, but the stuff they do is to generate effects in the audience via images changing over time.
Many of your videos reach millions of people by the time you add theater and rental consumers. There is great symbolism in many movies, however, it is generally hidden -- forcing one to have to really look to see it. The subconscious, however, sees all of it. Even if you don't get it, the subconscious does and will act upon it as is appropriate.
We typically don't take the time to become aware of and acquainted with our own subconscious. This is a very sorry state to live in. The subconscious can be very helpful with information that is not tainted by ego. However, it only provides its information when asked in a tender and loving manner. It will not be bullied around, dominated, or be taken advantage of. It has the ability to retreat whenever necessary.
My intuition just came through with something regarding staying awake physically and spiritually. The battle is the physical representation in my life of the similar spiritual battle to stay awake. My sense is that as soon as I win one or the other battle, both will be won, and I will be one as well. The challenge is to awaken and stay awake. By the way, this morning you should have listened to us and awakened at 5:30 when your body naturally awoke. You need to learn to trust the wisdom of your body with regard to the rhythms that it experiences. Operating in tune with these rhythms results in extra zest and energy in life. The more mature viewpoint would have you do things when you naturally feel like doing them. Contrary to what many believe, the end result is that more, higher quality work gets done overall.
When people don't like what they're doing, they waste time, and the work takes much longer than it rightly should. Whenever we create jobs that do this, inefficiency is the guaranteed result. We need to think about people differently. They have far more capability than most jobs require. There has to be a way to harness this delta in capability in a way that allows more useful work to be accomplished. This is how we do more with less. At the same time, this will require fewer people to do the work that is already defined. Here is where the society needs to kick in and say we will not tolerate lack of full employment. Everyone that wants to work should. If skills need to be developed then put them in school. Where industry cannot provide the jobs, the government should. There are many things that need to be done in this country. All we have to do is allocate the right resources. If we just get rid of the darkness and information hiding that pervades the system things can change. People must have all of their needs met. This is true for all people in this country whether they have jobs or not. Remember, the government is us, the people. When we say that we will have zero unemployment, we mean that we, the people, guarantee that there will be employment for all. Part of this may require refining the way or economy and private sectors work. Overall, the amount of bureaucracy should be minimized.
This is the first step in building a true society, one that is founded on basic spiritual ideas some of which are included on our 1 dollar bills. We are building a spiritual foundation for a country in the New Age. This was the destiny that our founding fathers realized. Soon, we will have arrived. The time is very close indeed. Yet, it is not yet clear that we will do what must be done. From another standpoint, we are already there, and are waiting to allow the physical world to catch up to where the spiritual world has reached through imagination..
The major factor that will carry us through the times ahead is the degree to which individuals come to know thyself. This is the critical first step. Yet, it seems to be the last thing that most people are concerned with. Maybe it is just too early in the Plan. This event will occur in a later scene. However, there must be a group of people who will lead the way through their own awakening and will use that experience to pave the way for others. It is not clear that something like this has ever happened before. The Earth itself is ready to make a shift, but she'll only carry those who are prepared spiritually. There is not a set time for this transformation to occur. Once it happens, some may point to the signs that predicted it. This is but false, after the fact reasoning. If your tools are complex enough, you can justify anything.
By the way, you're getting too old and wise for your oracles. You've realized that you are every one of the cards in both the Major and Minor Arcana. Yes, some of the cards especially stand out. But, you've known this. After Sunday, you'll know that you can't give Tarot readings for others. Numerology won't work either. You're meant to be more direct in assessing a persons ability and spiritual level. This allows you to prescribe the appropriate experiences to foster further enlightenment. To do this, you will need to get out among the Lightworkers and sample their services from an impartial point of view. You're at a point where you just know things. How could you not be? You're information freely flows from your superconscious. One of your key tasks is to create a perspective of reality that encompasses both the scientific and the metaphysical disciplines. We will do this together, we don't expect you to have to do this alone.
When am I out of here? We choose not to tell you. This is a lesson in patience. Can you wait for however long it might be. You know how spirit works in your life. Everything happens at the right time and when you are ready. Usually, it also comes at a time and in a way that was not what you expected. This will have to suffice for this question now. If you want to push things, make an argument for why NOW vs why Later and see who wins. The bottom line at this time is that it serves you to be here working on both Loral and Beyond Imagination stuff.
Is there something I could be doing to get Beyond Imagination moving? Other than continue writing, no. It's just not time yet. Keep writing as much as you can. The more material you have to start with, the easier it will be to find the right publisher for the works that are flowing through you. Remember, however, it is not for you to decide what is good and what must go. That is for the editor and publisher to decide.
Is there anything that I should be doing about my present financial condition. No, it will be changing within the next few months. Such that we can really pay the bills? Yes, indeed. Are these answers coming from my outside or my inside consciousness. Both, for these are in synch now. All the time? No, but most of it. Hmm.
Where would you take me next? I believe it's time for me to learn to leave the body at will and return. Further, I still have some blinders that must be removed when the time is right. I've noticed that I make it clear that anything I need or want only come to me if it is in accord with the Plan. I live day to day, trying to live completely in the now when I can. From some level, it doesn't really matter. Besides, my focus is to educate people so that they are awake when the Dawn of the Aquarian Age arrives. This is a task that is forward looking. The signs tell me that it is time to go forward with my spiritual school, and my spiritual life. I'm absorbing as much as I can, resulting in many awakenings. Each awakening changes the character of from some to all of my world. My world is basically a collection of beliefs inside my head. For me, it's a set that was specifically chosen by me. However, this is not true for most people.
If it's this easy, why don't more people know about the spiritual world? For one thing, they didn't start out with a purple band as their first color. Second, the didn't spend a significant part of twenty years studying and exploring metaphysics. Third, they didn't start out with a believe that the things of the mind were more valuable than the things of the body. Fourth, they didn't keep an open mind through it all, withholding any judgement. Fifth, they didn't rely on the need to experience something to know it in the metaphysical domain.
16 May 94
Once again, I didn't find any time to write at home even with a three day weekend. Part of the problem is significantly increased sleeping time on those days when I am at home. I just don't want to wake up. Overall the excitement level is relatively low even in the midst of the kind of realizations that I've been having. I'm tired of being primarily the Hermit. I want to come down from the mountain and talk to someone who can understand the kind of spiritual awakenings that I have been experiencing. Jennifer's suggestion to put an add in the paper for some type of spiritual discussion and support group might be helpful. I'll have to figure out how to phrase it so that the right people actually come. Initially, rather than a support group, I would prefer to have awakened individuals who could discuss various ideas in depth.
Hermit with 20 years metaphysical background experiencing strong spiritual awakenings for the past eight months desires contact with other souls who have been having similar experiences. Would also like to discuss what framework reality must have to encompass our experience and how the process of reality creation works.
So, what's next? There does not appear to be anything that's pushing something to change. Am I to determine when the time for change begins? Is this one of the jobs that has been handed over to me? Or am I to wait patiently for spirit to declare the timing? This is a question because as far as I know, I have relinquished my will to Thy Will. Once that action occurred, my will became a tool for spirit to do with as it will. This allows my will to be strong again provided it is doing spirits work. I have been fearing allowing ego to become too strong. However, I am an Aries with a Leo rising and a Sagittarius moon. Everything is fire. My first name numerologically = 23, the King of Wands in the Tarot, also full of fire energy.
My sense is that I needed to be completely consumed by spirit in the past year, to allow me to ready myself for the role I am to play starting this year. When the time is right, there will be no question and the action to take and decision to take that action will be obvious. So long as you are unsure about what action to take, be patient and wait until the decision is clear. You will not have to wait for long. After all, this is your destiny year.
Clearly, I'm here to work specifically with fire and spirit. Nearly all of my energies are aligned in this area. My enthusiasm, interest, excitement, and passion comes in this area as well. A big part of my task deals with providing the way to allow spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh. These notes constitute the record of my own process for getting this to happen in my flesh. This process continues, throughout ones entire life --- that is, provided one spends time in knowing thyself. This is the most important thing one can do, without question.
What hasn't been determined is how many people must be awakened to allow the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius to finally arrive. Also, we need to come up with an elegant means for awakening large numbers of people in a safe and same way in their own homes if possible. This means employing the media for spiritual development --- not religion or church, but basic spiritual development. This alone is a major step, but a required one.
I still feel stuck in a confining environment, but, it's an environment in which I am still very productive. Only partially on my work for Caesar, but to a high degree on these notes. I'm not sure what to say. What I'm doing does not require a whole lot of my time. It could, if I chose to make it so. For my first four years, I chose to make it so and was very productive as a result. When I saw that my work didn't really get anywhere once it was completed, the motivation to work extra hard on things went away. I still worked hard and get a lot done, especially compared to my peers. Further, I did get a lot of feedback that people were reading the products of my work and using the ideas in beneficial ways. Starting in Mar 93, the work became less and less tolerable. At that time, I started my Beyond Imagination notes which are now in the tenth month with the exception of September and October when I was highly Manic, and went into the mental hospital.
I'm patiently awaiting a DISRUPTION, a major change in everything in my life. I have no idea why I believe that this will happen - -- but, I am certain. There is no doubt about it. An inheritance of some type is coming into my life. I don't know whether it is physical or spiritual, nor whom might deliver it -- - nothing. Whatever it is, it is necessary for me to do the task which I came to do. All that I can do is work on Knowing Myself until I am worthy of whatever it is that is to come. I anxiously await whatever it might be. The timing will be in accord with the Plan, as is everything during the times of change that we are witnessing. I've had so many changes in consciousness in the past year that I am no longer willing to live in the old way. It is time to make my life the masterpiece that it was meant to be. The time for action is near. I know it is not yet here, because I'm not yet motivated to act.
Right now, it appears the right course of action is to wait on instructions from my higher self and continue to look for signs concerning what is to occur next. One day at a time, or better yet, one moment at a time. Living life in the present, HERE and NOW is what is called for. If we take care of things moment by moment, the FUTURE will be the summation/result of the transformations that occur in each moment. Also, there is a message that warns not to be concerned with result or consequences but with right action in the moment.
Getting the Crowley deck of Tarot Cards would do good for you. The imagery is quite different than the Waite/Rider deck. Also, you might want to compare the Voyager deck as well since you already have it. Yes, all the decks do basically the same thing. However, the different symbology will strike both your conscious and subconscious minds differently.
I need some business cards for Beyond Imagination to exchange with people. Wrong, if you truly needed them, you would have them. Don't think about how to make something happen. Trust. Know that whatever you need will be given unto you at the time it is needed. What about money to pay all the bills. That will be a struggle only a little while longer. Don't worry about it. Pay what you can when you can. The rest will simply have to wait. Also, don't worry about what is happening to your credit rating. You won't need credit much longer. OK. Trust is the answer. The universe has always provided abundance in my life. This has always been so. However in the past, my needs were relatively few. Now we have much, most of it gathered over the past 6 years, since Gini entered my life -- however, we also have many bills and a negative cash flow. I know this too will work itself out in some beneficial manner.
17 May 94
Another day fighting to stay awake physically. I've had three Mountain Dews and a caffeine pill already and I'm still struggling. I'm not sure what to do about this yet. What do you suggest? Why is it that you do not want to be awake to face what physical reality brings to you? Also, we have an as above, so below factor playing itself out. Spiritually you are facing the same challenge of trying to be spiritually awake more of the time, if not all of it. The two battles go on concurrently and will end concurrently as well. Further, this will not go on for much longer. You'll find a solution that works at both levels. Seek and you shall find.
Am I over medicated now? Yes! But not as much as you would think. The current level of medication is opening some new pathways in your brain. These will allow you to think, intuit, visualize, and dream in ways that you have never been able to before. This results in additional tools that consciousness can use to channel information and VISION through you. You will find the tools equally useful in your journey to Know Thyself. Have patience, the end of your current situation and the beginning of a new way of life are not far ahead. Focus however on each day, one day at a time, doing whatever it is that you must do. Remember, that each day brings the possibility of further enlightenment -- it all depends on your attitude, what you notice, and how you evaluate whatever comes into your awareness.
The caffeine may have a negative affect when combined with your drugs. Perhaps you should stay away from these drinks for awhile. Also, the caffeine pills. It appears that the caffeine is helping to keep you awake, but your fingers are shaking so much that your can barely type. We would suggest that you also consider your beliefs about the body. You still treat it as more of a machine than a loving expression of spirit enfleshed. You've lost a loving sense in connection with this magnificent temple for spirit. There should be a sense of awe for this wonderful and magnificent structure. That's true, I have been relatively impartial where the body is concerned, feeling it to be more of a burden and restriction than a home for spirit. It's time to find ways to be more in this temple for spirit, and further to treat it as the temple that it is. Perhaps this shift will change what side effects the body allows to manifest. You get what you need to be reflected back to you for your enhanced awareness. Everything that happens to you physically is a direct reflection that provides something you need to become more aware of. Interesting, I haven't been looking at it like this. All my life, my body was just there, naturally functioning well, with better than average coordination. In the past few months, this has changed. It's time to figure out the meaning of the changes and correct any erroneous beliefs that have popped up. The whole focus of my life is in how to get spirit more fully expressed in flesh. This can be done no matter what the physical condition is, but it is easier if the condition is good to start with.
When will others be brought into my life? I long to speak with kindred spirits. If my relative isolation is necessary for my task, then so be it. However, I believe that I am meant to teach. Not great numbers of people, but either small groups or particular individuals. There are very few people that are in my life. This has been true throughout my life. My sense though is that I belong to a spiritual family. It is not clear whether I have met any members of this family yet, or that they are embodied on Earth. I've had several experiences where I felt that others were added into my awareness. They felt like joining of energies. We are consolidating all that we are into this vehicle that is Wayne. This was a choice made before this body was born. We choose a date, place, and time that would allow the energies to be right for merging in this very period of time, starting eight month ago and running through this year. We are more than we have ever been. That is part of the difficulty and the challenge as well. All of this is new, in particular how reality is being created and interpreted. You are indeed a trailblazer and wayshower. Further, there are not many who are in this position. Many have started to see that the intuition has a place in their lives, but few have been willing to kill their egos to allow spirit to come through. The ultimate prize is abundance, however, most people would rather have what they currently have and are comfortable with than risk it on a potential promise of abundance. However, that is the test for living in Heaven on Earth. Are you willing to give up all that you think you are to allow spirit to work through you in accord with you talents and abilities?
Is there something that I should be doing to get Beyond Imagination started? At this point, just keep writing. All will be done in it's right timing. It doesn't matter whether the words truly get out to others. What matters is that they flowed through you and had information that you needed to grow in awareness and/or confirm your growth in awareness. Leave it to consciousness to decide where to send this material and when. You are a writer. Write! The more ideas you allow to come through, the more others can be created and channeled as well. Writing is still your primary modality. This will be the case for most of this existence. Others can bring forth the necessary other modalities. However, remember that the WORD can first, and out of it all else was manifest. So, it is appropriate that an Aries would bring forth the words that describe the VISION of a new age.
We're making up for last month by writing a lot this month. It's the only activity that is exciting enough to grab and hold my attention enough to keep me from falling asleep, and even then I still find myself dozing off. Much less frequently, however. Last month, it was the evaluation of numbers and the post-its that occupied me for many days. Also, the flying mania. This month is down compared to that. Things are not as intense and the sluggishness is heavier and much more difficult to deal with both at work and at home. I keep getting to the question of where is all this spiritual awakening taking me? What am I supposed to do with it and when? The bottom line is that it's taking me where I need to be, and I will become aware of what to do with it when the time is right. Until then, I'm to wait patiently, have more fun and keep allowing the awakenings to occur. The focus is ever Know Thyself. This is the key to enlightenment and finding one's purpose. Those who spend the time and energy get the rewards that a spiritual life has to offer. Those who don't are subject to the rewards given to them in the game of life in response to what they have sowed by their actions and in accord with their belief system.
Awareness, Allowance, Acceptance. Those words that Aronk used to say so often. That is what is required now. Yes, indeed, these three should be a standard part of ones basic way of Life. They are the cornerstone to living from spirit. Spirit enfleshed, however, is the goal and to the greatest degree possible at this time. The time for the Aquarian Age to begin is well nigh upon us. At any moment, the threshold can be reached that finally allows the rays of the new age to flow through to the planet. At that point opportunities will open up for people to find the task that they were meant to do, and the being that they decided to be. Within a heartbeat there will be a transformation that is awesome, beautiful to behold. Further, it will strike everyone for the rays that are sent carry specific instructions that will reach each and every person. There is no Armageddon required to enact this event. Consciousness on the planet is sufficiently advanced that this scenario is not required. That is, with the exception of a few fundamentalists who are caught in their own webs of negative beliefs.
I'm not sure where that came from. Words come through me, but I don't feel that they are necessarily mine. Yes, I hear them in my head and see the results of my fingers going there merry way. It's interesting that only the part that I am working on now is passed into the voice that I hear in my head. It's amazing how this works. Also, I suspect that others experience this in a similar manner though I have not asked anyone about this. I find it interesting that people are not aware of the magical processes that underlie our ability to be in this world. Things such as thinking, speaking, and intuition in particular are so important to our being -- yet, we have little to no insight as to how they really occur. I've thought about it a lot, and find that all my explanations require some external spiritual component which does the real work. Though I've spent years thinking about it, that is the only conclusion that I could draw. This is not surprising however. After all, we are spiritual beings in the midst of having a physical experience.
Hmm. So, what is it really going to take to get us to the Aquarian Age? How is the world going to be transformed into one of Peace, Love, and Brotherhood? These are the key questions. The other question is when, but I typically don't do well on the timing issues. Perhaps this is because I don't yet have a need to know. The key component in getting people ready is to make them aware of their identity as spirit and get them to allow more of the spirit that is connected to them to be expressed through the physical form. As the days pass by, you will see that world leaders are being transformed rapidly. They will realize that the only way to live harmoniously on this planet is too find a new way of treating one another, and of helping each other to live and operate in a manner that is peaceful and abundant. Nature has bestowed us with great gifts, sufficient to support some level of human population on this planet. As we start operating in a just manner and start acting as stewards rather than thieves, nature will be able to fix some of the wounds and problems we have created.
At this time it is not clear how many people the planet can truly support. It will not matter however, for those who are not meant to enter the new age will be given whatever destiny they have sown through their beliefs and actions. War and disease may befall some. My VISION does not show any of this. Thus far I am confined to knowing only the highest levels of what might be, and primarily for the United States of America. This country has a metaphysical destiny that started at its very formation. Now is the time to start achieving that destiny. However, it requires great changes to basic principles that this country holds dear such as free enterprise, and individual freedoms. We believe ourselves to be rugged individualists for the most part. Our whole way of life is patterned after this. But, we live in a world where we have to cooperate to survive, and where we are interdependent on a host of services. One key issue is how do we become cooperatively interdependent in a positive way that is life enhancing? The key to the solution is to understand in what ways we are interdependent and determine whether there are alternatives that are better. In most cases, much of the current cooperative interdependence happened ad hoc, because it was needed for a particular situation. Since interactions have become more complex, maybe it's time to start from the top down and reexamine whether our support structure that has developed over 220 years is a structure that serves our needs today. My guess is that it is not and that there is a great amount of room for improvement. Beyond Imagination examines where some changes are needed. However, this topic alone could fill another book.
I'm starting to believe that consciousness is forcing me to write this over any other activity that I could be doing at work. Nearly everything else puts me to sleep and sends me to a state where I am working various things out in a light dreamlike environment. When something awakens me, I have this sense of busily working on something. However, it is not clear as to what was being worked on. As far as I know, I'm out for periods as short as a few seconds to several minutes. I'm not sure what to do about this. Effectively, I can't really work. Yet, I can't really afford not working either. It's definitely a dilemma. Thus far, I'm doing enough to keep the customer happy. However, it's time to pay more attention to the job. Then again, this sounds like Wayne exerting his will on things. It's up to consciousness now to use my as an instrument of the Plan in whatever way it sees fit. I am not fully in control of how my mind is functioning, nor how my body is functioning. It is not my will that is to be done. I have pledged myself to do Thy Will, whatever it may be in accord with the Plan. I am fully in spirits hands now.
It is interesting that the Prince of Wands came up as the answer to what action is needed for Beyond Imagination to get moving. The same card, the King of Wands in the Rider deck came up when I asked the same question today. In particular, this is interesting because Wayne comes out to exactly 23 as well! 23 is the number for these two cards. The information from spirit has a consistency that is impossible to miss. This is good. Sometimes intuitives are somewhat scattered and abstract in the information they provide. I'm finding that things are detailed and to the point. It still amazes me to see the cards with the most appropriate information come up. Also, the serial numbers I am seeing are consistent with the same picture of how events are to unfold in the coming few years. I don't have a feel for when, but the overall timing is approximately five years. Within that time various events are to happen, some of which are serial and some which can be accomplished in parallel. I haven't taken the time to actually lay them out. That might be an interesting thing to do sometime.
I sense that Beyond Imagination has much to do, much more than I can do alone. Yet, I don't know who else is to be involved. This will change when the time is right. I so want to do something to start the process in motion. Yet, I know that consciousness will do exactly what is required when it is required or move me to do what is necessary. The waiting is the toughest part. The knowingness helps, but it is as if it is not enough. I have a sense of urgency in what I must do -- as if there is no time to waste. Yet, at the same time, I know things grow and ripen in their own season. The harvest comes in fall, not spring or summer. The seeds are planted and they will grow because of the love that sustains and nourishes then. I planted a lot of seeds this spring. It will be interesting to see what comes from them.
I find it hard to imagine working here for another four months. However, I am resigned to do what spirit would have me do as long as is necessary for the Plan to be carried out. Further, if this is what must be, I'll find a way to enjoy it. My preference, however, is to be working directly for spirit long before then -- in fact, as soon as possible or effective. I realize that I would need to work more effectively in whatever my new environment would be. A computer, printer, and office are all the implements that I really need. I don't know how to be paid by spirit. Perhaps I could sell the rights to my work at $200 per page. That's $20,000 for a 100 page manuscript. At this rate, 40 pages per month would be a significant raise over what I make now. My notes alone are starting to reach this level. If this is not reasonable, consciousness will find a better way. I don't have a driving need to be a known person or celebrity. It is not necessary that the works that come through me get credited to me. If the Plan calls for something different, I can activate the Leo rising part of myself. However, my preference is to play the role of the Hermit, passing my ideas down to key people who would then bring them out to the would. This way my interfaces are very few. I've always had a hard time remembering names. I believe there was a reason for this that dealt with a Hermit not having to deal with people. Then again, maybe that's just an excuse, and one of my challenges was to overcome the reclusive tendency. No, the Hermit is whom I am. Yes, I also have parts that correspond to all the archetypes and all the minor arcana as well, but it is the Hermit that is me.
It will be interesting to see how things work out in the next few weeks. My sense is that major changes are in store but what they are and how they will occur is an open question. The changes will come soon enough. All we can do is take things day by day, and allow the changes of each day build up into the changes for each week. One can only act and create in the present. As one does this, changes ripple to the future as waves of change. A lot can happen in two weeks. Actually a lot can happen in a single day, or even a single instance. Realization can happen in a moment. Further, it can be so intense that it changes one completely so that one's world is never the same again. One idea can literally be that powerful. On a larger scale, the right thoughts at the right time can change the entire world just as completely. That's how powerful ideas can be.
18 May 94
Connecting with someone I could really communicate some of my experiences with was wonderful this morning. We spoke for over two hours. She was a graduate of the Berkeley Psychic Institute. Literally, I have not had a single person who has been there to listen, read, and understand what I've been going through over the past year. However, I don't regret any of it. Further, I don't know that there was anything that I could have done any differently. This is one of the problems/challenges that goes with being a Hermit. You are left to yourself to provide the meaning in your experience. Perhaps everyone has some of this, however, most accept the common meaning of something. Their security then rides on the fact that there is safety in numbers. I've never been one of the crowd or one of the common people. The common meaning is not sufficient to me. I need to see the big picture, or create one if necessary. Consciousness needed someone in this role, and my soul or Self selected this specific part to play. My sense is that it will ultimately be a grand role, possible on a public scale, but more likely on a smaller scale dealing with particular people who are hear to help activate the New Age of Aquarius.
It is not clear how much change will occur how fast. In particular, the question of what time period does Beyond Imagination cover. My original sense was that this was the next 4-7 years. In particular, that we would see massive change by the turn of the century. Now, I'm wondering whether this is possible in such a timeframe. It may be that some are activated in before the turn of the century, but, the masses are not yet impacted. The masses will react to changes in government and changes in industry & economy. It is not clear that the forces are in place to give momentum to these kinds of changes. I'm looking for a realistic way to manifest great change. Overall, things should be easy, if possible. Much of the change, however, requires awakening people to their true spiritual nature. This can be relatively easy if those in charge are resolved to create the appropriate infrastructure, services, and motivation to get people to know theirselves. This will not happen unless the spiritual element becomes prominent in how the United States of America operates both internally and in its foreign relations.
So, what am I to do? Keep writing whatever comes through you. Look for signs to tell you what actions are required when. You don't have to look hard, they will for the most part be so noticeable that you will easily recognize them. Do what moves you. Be Happy and Create Well! You say that to others -- reflect it back to yourself. You will start attracting others to your circle of being. Sunday, you found Jennifer. Today, you found Janine. Remain open and others will be attracted to your circle of energy. Allow the process to unfold in it's own timing. You still have much to do and much to learn before you are ready for your primary task. Trust that we know how to measure your state and are bringing the necessary reality to you to allow your transformation to occur quickly but with a state of elegance and beauty as well. Experience the awe and wonder as fully as you can. Rejoice in the experience of being soul incarnate, knowing that we are assisting in bringing forth the best states possible for your growth in awareness. Be whom you are, spirit in flesh. Express that as much as you can -- it is important to serve as an example to people of what they too might be if they too could express whom they truly are.
I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm in the midst of a vast amount of spiritual change and awakenings. The continued sleepiness at work puzzles me. Does it reflect that I am not staying awake metaphysically either. Or, is this a message that forces me to deal with the circumstances of being in a job that has limited value or meaning for me anymore. I'm close to being ready to work directly on those activities related to my spiritual purpose. At least, I sense that I am anyway. At what point do I get to jump, remaining in this world but not of it -- or, better yet being in this world as soul incarnate so that others can see the Light of Spirit by direct example. Initially, I sense that others will be a select few. Ultimately, this should span not only the country but the whole world. I believe that my time runs out in 2012, at which point I will be off exploring other dimensions in consciousness. This leave a span of 18 years, the Wisdom years in my golden triangle. Last month I entered the third and final phase of this adventure of consciousness in flesh. It's interesting that it works out this way but not surprising.
Life has taken on a great sense of uncertainty. It is not clear from one day to the next how I will feel, or how I will see the world. I expect daily changes in the way I interpret aspects of reality or reality as a whole. Further, I have no sense of what each day will bring except for some type of experience that changes my awareness in some manner. Sometimes these are minor changes. At other times, they are earthshaking. My own state of mind is somewhat mushy. I believe this to be because of the drugs, but I cannot be certain of that. Recently, I went through a month of mania. Now, my sense is that I am slightly depressed. Doing anything involving metaphysics, including writing these notes is a big pickup. I know this is at least part of what I am meant to bring forth and make physical -- even if I haven't found the outlet for taking the information, proofing it, and getting it out to whomever it's supposed to reach. The intent is for this to be the record of a soul in transition, or a spirit becoming more fully expressed in flesh. I want to document enough to give people an idea of how I am thinking, what I believe, and what I am doing as I go through these transitions. Hopefully, enough to help them go through these or similar transitions themselves.
The key thing that drives the whole process is making "Know Thyself" the top priority in your life. This above all things sets you on the path that is right for you. It also takes time and commitment, however, it should not be pushed either. If it becomes like work, the time is not right or you are pushing too hard. There are many ways in which spirit pushes the physical part to learn it's lessons. If you look for them, you will find them and see how spirit's guiding hand is operating in your life. Do what you can and what you are pushed to do by your own consciousness. Pay close attention to your intuition and realize that your intuition should be equal to if not greater than your reason. Also, realize that at some point your intuition and subconscious mind must give way to your superconscious. The goal is reason bowing to intuition (subconscious) bowing to superconscious. The superconscious is that part of us that is literally god stuff. Ego operates primarily in the conscious mind. It is the greatest thing suppressing the ability for spirit to be more fully enfleshed. In this country, we hold the freedoms of individuals in high esteem. In fact, we have a strong bias toward independence throughout our society. At least, this is what the individual sees on the surface. However, the infrastructure that holds all of this together is very interdependent and cooperative. It's time to see beyond the surface and realize that at some level we are all one and that we should be treating each other as if this were so. This key idea will transform the world. Further, it will not take even 20 of your years. Those who choose not to cooperate interdependently will simply not be able to compete in whatever remains of the open market. Further, it is not even clear that an open market is necessary as a viable means for getting needed goods and services to people.
19 May 94
The saga continues. As far as I can see, there are no signs of impending change except in my oracles. My inner sense tells me to trust the oracles but to allow for other possibilities as well. After all, disruption is radical change, and your runes have shown you that twice. Presently the focus seems to be on 5/28/94. We'll wait and see however. Maybe it's some sort of graduation day for me as well as for Kim. Interesting. Spirit doesn't seem to have much of a concern for time. Everything happens when the time is right, but the time does not seem to be known until the time is right. In other words, it cannot be predicted -- at least not very accurately.
This is a destiny year for me. Already, nearly five months have past. Much of my work will have to be done during the summer and fall. The 53 card comes to mind. The black knight who works fast and furious dividing the true from the false. My feeling is that much of this is true, and that my assignment will become known in the next few months. It's interesting to watch how things transpire. I'm starting to realize that the world is pretty perfect as it is, with each person experiencing the conditions and circumstances that are required for their higher growth and to give the organizations the opportunity to grow as well. These organizations may be the organs that cosmic consciousness uses to establish its form in flesh. One question is how much of the current infrastructure is usable, or at least amenable to the changes necessary to make it usable for consciousness? Is there a way to bring in the New Age without major change to the world order and infrastructure? My immediate answer is no, but my senses tell me otherwise. There is a way to start with some subtle but basic changes that resonate throughout the whole structure so that massive change is implemented quickly. Further, this change will be so positive and work so well that people will wonder why it was so hard to do things before.
I personally can't make all this happen. However, something Holmes said struck me deeply, the fact that we are all ONE MIND, namely God's Mind. What I determine or figure out becomes part of that one mind, accessible to all who are in a position to understand it. There is still something deceptive about this. I believe it is the conscious understanding of itself as the creator of thought. This too is deceptive, because the conscious mind is the receiver of thought, not the originator thereof. Perhaps the problem is that we think our mind to be contained within our brain, when this need not be the case at all.
So, we're back to the issue of what am I here to do, in particular? Do I doubt that consciousness has a role for me to play that uses my abilities in a manner that is most effective for the achievement of the Plan. Actually, it's more a question of how than what or why. There is also the issue of how long I can hold on and wait. I know it is all necessary. My development is not yet complete, and the time is obviously not right yet. So, I continue to wait as long as is necessary, doing the work needed to Know Myself as much as I can. How much is my Ego involved in determining my understanding of my role. I want to be as impartial as I can be yet every lightworker I have seen has commented on the set of abilities and life task that I chose for this existence. I know my assets and abilities. I know that I can bring through a VISION and advice to appropriate people to make the country and the world a much better place. Further, I know that I can translate my spiritual experience into words that can help others. Also, I want to work full time on the metaphysical stuff.
Is it for me to find a way to fund what I desire to do? It seems to me that it would be more effective for a salesperson of some type to do that. That's definitely not a Hermit's job. Another alternative is to find a benefactor -- one who sees the value of my work and is willing to fund it without controlling it. The third alternative is for consciousness to pay the costs in whatever manner is appropriate. I'm sure there are many other options as well. The bottom line is that I want to be working at what I am here to do. With all the writing I'm doing this month, I'm doing quite well at manifesting what I need. However, it is at the cost of doing my Loral work. Yes, and what do you conclude from that. After all, we are guiding you in your writings always, but, in particular, for the past few weeks. You could say that we are directing you to be negligent on your job, or you could say we are directing you to be productive on your real job. From our perspective, your job is to help spirit to become more fully expressed in flesh. The only way you can truly be of value in doing this is for you to experience it yourself and write about your experiences as clearly and directly as you could. You've done this faithfully for many months. You're still growing in consciousness at a rapid pace. And, you still have a ways to go. Not a great distance yet larger than a few steps. Don't worry, you'll know when you are there. No question about it.
Hold your horses for awhile. Savor and relish your day-to-day experience. Note what you learn and what signs you encounter. Find a way to stay inside the spiritual world that you have found. See whether you can find where it starts and stops. Feel the grand emotion of it all, and the grand beauty. Be more spiritual now to whatever degree you are able. Document whatever techniques and processes you find useful. These will be of use to others with technical backgrounds. Write a paper on the problem with the California Lifestyle, maintaining two relatively high paying jobs to live -- and how people have bought into a trap. Do this now while you too are experiencing this firsthand. Further, think about the opportunities for getting out of the trap, both for you and for others. Put all your heart into it. A second reason for getting out may be to escape the coming Earth changes. The Earth will change due to a shift in the poles. The details can be found elsewhere, but you won't need to know what they are. It is enough to know who will be impacted, to what degree, and when, if possible.
23 May 94
Once again another three day weekend passed without finding time to write. This should be a relatively easy thing to do. After all, three days is a whole lot of time, even if you take out time for chores and other to do things. So, why am I not writing at home. Mainly, I'm zoned out a bit. My mind is active working on things, but they are not refined enough to put to paper. When I close eyes, I see images, but they're not distinct enough to my conscious mind to be able to get access to them. It's as if I'm seeing with an inner set of eyes which are not used to looking at images yet. Maybe they need glasses. Although, I'm finding the world to be a lot more interesting without my glasses.
Our upstairs lighting fixture has eight lights on it. Over the past few months we have watched the light status move from:
7 working and 1 out 71 / 17 to 6 working and 2 out 62 / 26 to 4 working and 4 out 44 It's interesting to watch this work, and to try to interpret what it means in our lives. I believe that our environment mirrors what is going on inside of us. The signs we find that are meaningful to us are this way for a reason. My sense is that the 17 time was for integrating the properties of The Star into out life. 62/26 was for trusting the subconscious to lead us blindfolded into wherever we were supposed to go next in accord with The Plan of Consciousness.
The phrase God helps those who help themselves just came to mind. This leads to the idea that we are to co-create our reality with God on our side. Interesting that it came at this time. Perhaps the time of surrendering will is over. It is time to let the Will of Consciousness flow through me to manifest in whatever way I am to manifest in accord with the Plan. My sense is that it very near to a time for action. I've been writing and attempting to get my writings out to the people I thought that were the best to work with on preparing people for the New Age of Aquarius. Being a Hermit, my list of contacts is quite small. Yet, it is from this list or from a list of new contacts that I must begin the relationships that are necessary to start making the Vision a reality. It is not clear what resources will be required, nor is it clear how many people will be needed. It is not likely that the government will be involved, yet neither will much of industry. They have too much desire to basically maintain the status quo. Ours is an agenda for change, massive change, evolutionary change, and maybe even revolutionary change -- though this is a last resort. After all, I am a spiritual warrior. We will do whatever it takes to make spirit more fully enfleshed and improve the infrastructure of society so that people get what they need, when they need it. Further, however, no means may be used to secure our end that in any way violate spiritual law. Yet, we will not back down or be forced to yield our position. For, in this, we have the high spiritual ground. We are in the RIGHT, and RIGHT makes MIGHT. Our focus is on what we can do to serve both ourselves and others.
Another phrase came to mind, "the truth shall set you free". Much information is hidden in this country by the government to protect the security of the United States, by industry to protect information that is proprietary or that could benefit a competitor, by individuals to protect their so-called privacy. As a result, most of us don't have access to the information that might indeed provide the opportunity for us to be free. Much of the system of law that we are under is hidden from us by lawyer go-betweens who interpret the language of the law into something we might more easily understand. Personally, I don't even know where to start in examining what laws affect me. The only ones I really know about are those that impact my life or my behavior on a day-to-day, monthly, or yearly basis.
OK. What is the truth that shall set me free today? You are more than even you know now. Allow your conscious mind to come back in an awakened state. The full moon eclipse is the right time for this. Watch the eclipse if you can, and let the energies flow through your body. The conscious mind is like the Captain of a ship. When you relegated it to nothing, you literally destroyed what it was except for a small piece. Now it is time to nurture this piece, teach it right behavior with the subconscious and superconscious, and allow it to regain it's status in the trinity of self. You will need all the parts of self that you have found, during the course of our next journey. Where this journey will take you is completely dependent on you. Although, we'll have a few things of our own to throw in for your greater enlightenment, of course.
Pat called for Dr Greene. Lithium was high and Depakote low in the tests I took on Friday. Adjusted the dosages so to reduce the Lithium and increase the Depakote. Hopefully, this will make a difference in the side effects -- dry mouth, tiredness, and various lessor problems with shaking, balance, timing and coordination(golf) perceived weight of things, blurred vision, cross-eyed vision. I'm not even sure that some of these things are side effects. All that I know is that I have been experiencing them lately and I don't remember experiencing them before. All we can do is try the new dosage and see what happens. At some point, it would be nice to reach a point where the drugs are not necessary. I don't like feeling tired most of the time. I also don't like being in a position of having to rely on drugs to exist "normally". There has to be a better way, a way more in tune with nature. Then again, even doctors are attuned to Consciousness and the drugs that they use ultimately come from nature in one way or another.
It's time to drop some weight again. This time I'll do it more slowly and sanely than I did before. I'll do it via Herbalife, mainly because I know that the products work. They worked for me last year. In fact, it seems like it was about this time. Also, they worked for Maria, Paul, Brian, Leo, Ashley, and Gini. Whatever herb combinations they use seem to be right for the body. In particular Cell Activator and Thermo. My target weight is around 182. However, I trust the body to know its right operating point.
We're back to the idea that the body should be treated respectfully as the temple for spirit that it is. In particular, that means taking care of it, and doing those things that make it the best temple for spirit that it can be. Overall health is a big part of this. It is not enough to take care of the body when it is ill. One must activ