2 May 95
On the way home, I had to stop at the Versatel machine a few blocks from work. As I pulled in, I noticed the tripmeter was exactly at 777.7, the odometer was at 32523, and the time was 8:01. A side note, I left work at exactly 7:56 on my clock. Once again the two drivers of my triangle readings appear together. Yes, this happens twice per day. But what is the likelihood of my seeing it, and in this case seeing it just as I was leaving?
777.7 is jackpot of course, indicating that the symbols that are around it are ripe with meaning. 32523 is symmetric about the 5 in the middle. There are only a hundred of these symmetric number in every ten thousand numbers, so jackpot landing on a symmetric number is a 1 in 100 shot. As a time this is simply 523. There is no sweep. 23 is wayne and 5 is The Hierophant. Interesting. 523 = 5::83 = The Hierophant::The Hierophant Exalted. Also note that 5 and 83 are complements. x + (78 + x) = 88 is only satisfied when x = 5. Interesting that this would be the number that showed up with jackpot. 523 also = 6:55, an interesting number in it's own right. The Lovers:The Ace of Swords. But 6:55 is also a time, in particular 5 to 7 = 527 = 6:59 = 5::87 = The Hierophant::The Hermit Exalted. 527 also begs to be reversed to reveal 725, The Chariot:The Knight of Wands. 725 = 8::21 = Strength::The World. Also, 725 = 9:23 = The Hermit:The King of Wands (wayne).
Also revealed is 5 22 33. All three numbers are highly meaningful to me, each appearing in significant positions in major readings.
The only thing we've neglected is the time of the occurrance, 8:01. 801 = 9::09. What an interesting result The Hermit:The Hermit. Also, 801 = 10:21 = The Wheel of Fortune : The World. 8:01 = 7::09 = The Chariot:The Hermit. Also quite meaningful.
3 May 95
File Size = 6498 at 1:25 AM. 64 = "my will for Thy Will", 98 = Judgement Exalted. 125 = 1:47 = The Magician, ASLAN. Reversed = 7:41 = The Chariot:The Ace of Cups [Wayne]. 6498 also comes across as 9:08-46, sweep of 38, centered at 9:27. Interesting, this is right between 9:26 and 9:28 which are varying versions of The Hermit God.
Tripmeter hit 888.8 as odometer hit 32635 = 6:23-35, sweep of 12 centered at 6:29 = 7:07. Also, 6:29 reversed = 9:26. This event occurred at 8:48= Strength:The Man in Search of More = time 48 = my birthday! [4/8]
Tripmeter hit 900.2 at 9:00 as odometer hit 32646. 6:23-46 has sweep of 23 centered at 6:34-35 = 5:56-5:57. Reversed, these are 6:55 - 7:55 = 5:27 - 5:28. Very interesting, 528 again! It's simply amazing how often this number shows up. Absolutely amazing.
The Tarot Card for Today was The Fool. It's been awhile since it last showed itself. I can only conclude that this is somehow associated with the jackpot [777.7] experience yesterday. The 900 at 9:00 above brings in the association of The Hermit and The Fool, Who I Am and My Heart's Desire. Interesting. The artwork on The Fool Card has the Fool gently holding a white rose in his left hand. Years ago, Gini was told by a channel that a white rose was the symbol for her soul or higher Self.
Connections. That seems to be what it's all about. What puzzle pieces are connected to what other pieces in what manner, and what do the combinations of such pieces mean. For me, this goes so far as to having this insatiable desire to comprehend, understand, know, or otherwise realize the big picture. I know that this is much of why I am here. I sense that each day draws me closer to a position in which to more fully manifest my destiny. I believe this to be true for others as well. However, I sense that I am not like others at the core of my being. At least, not like the others that coexist in this outer reality. There is a sense of being apart, The Hermit. It is as if I cannot establish attachments that are permanent in this world. There is a part of my being that is so tied to spirit that nothing else truly matters in comparison. This may sound harsh, but I can only express what consciousness allows to come through me.
Continuing on the earlier line of inquiry. One only has to look at my office to see that I am like a fish out of water in my present environment. I am tucked away in a corner and allowed to express myself without challenge. The sense is that my eccentricity is tolerated because my job performance is superior to my peers as well. Even with that, where I find myself compelled to allow my metaphysics to spill out into all aspects of my life and work, in close to six years I have not seen another office in my company where another person felt compelled to do likewise. Perhaps part of this is because I spend so much of my life here, at work. It is like a second home to me. Further, for much of that time, I am alone, literally -- either the entire rest of the building is empty, or at least the parts with which I come into contact.
17::17, The Star :: The Star. That's where the I Am Race comes from. We have to take things to the source of our very consciousness. We have to be observant enough to realize what we are here to do versus what we are here to watch. Much that we experience is much like a 3-D movie. It's a program input into our consciousness. It's up to us to realize that this is so and learn to awaken and maintain the observer perspective. Only then can consciousness flow through us in the most effective manner. Yes, there is something of a dichotomy here. With my present level of awareness, I know that the one consciousness does it's Will through me. However, this must be true for others as well. On the radio, they're talking about hard criminals at this very moment and how society should treat these people. Are these beings moved by the same one consciousness? My overall sense is that yes, our consensus reality is interwoven in such a fashion that collective spiritual lessons need to be learned. The Play is providing those experiences required for spiritual lessons to be learned individually and collectively at exactly that rate which is most effective.
It seems that the consensus viewpoint is that individuals are free and responsible. There is not a recognition of the unity of consciousness that lies beneath our diversity. This gets back to my role in the world and how it gets executed. Essentially, it happens automatically. I have no need to know exactly what or exactly when something needs to be done. What must be done will be done. The difference I make lies in consciousness, and the understanding that I gain becomes part of that collective consciousness as a new and unique viewpoint that can then be communicated to others just as consciousness communicates to me through intuition. There is a direct channel from the true reality to this apparent reality. Consciousness provides that channel and the information that flows through it. Receptivity, however, is dependent on awareness.
In the case of the criminals above, the play called for bad guys to illustrate a point. Themes of good versus bad or good versus evil are common in literature and film -- no wonder they appear in the illusion as well. Interesting.
If we don't have personal choice and personal responsibility, then why would individuals play particular roles. That's the problem. Thinking of consciousness as individuals is simply incorrect. There is one consciousness. All separation is part of the illusion. It exists, but it is not real. The intensity and character in which it is experienced is a choice made by a part or spark of consciousness. It's as if consciousness created baby consciousnesses with limited awareness and a task of graduating by reaching a designated levels of awareness. An image just came to mind. These baby consciousnesses are the pieces of the puzzle. However, the challenge was made even greater by requiring that each piece fill itself in and realize that it was a unique piece that needed to be combined with others into a greater whole.
Along this line, perhaps we start by individuals achieving awareness and combining to form small puzzles or sections of the puzzle that pave the way for others. The whole Play was created outside of space and time. Yet, to be experienced, consciousness had to partition itself in a manner that manifested limitation in space and time. We are the parts of consciousness enmeshed in this illusion we call physical reality. Further, it's interesting just how completely enmeshed we are -- that is most of us. Yet, the sense is that all this is about to change dramatically in the course of a few years. The inputs that I'm getting from the media, the country, and the world at large do not indicate a preparedness or readiness for such change. It will be interesting to see if and how this is made manifest. Yes, indeed.
4 May 95
First thing I noticed this morning is that the time on my computer was 7:56, while on my clock radio it was 8:00. 7 and 56 again, the drivers of my triangle readings. Also, 428 = The Emperor : The Man With the World in His Hands. 428 = 4::76 = 4:116 = 5:38 = The Hierophant:VISION. 5 + 38 = 41 = The Ace of Cups [Wayne].
File size from early this morning was 17861 @ 12:21. Centered at 866 = 11:00 base 22. Also 866 = 9:74= The Hermit : The Benefactor. Added together these equal 83 : The Hierophant Exalted! Interesting indeed! This is the first time I've tied these eight numbers together in this manner. 08, 66, 11, 00, 09, 74, and 83 @ 21 = The World.
16:02 is The Tower : The High Priestess. Do we have to wait that long for Love/Wisdom to finally sweep the world. I guess it doesn't matter much. Our consciousness resides in our own local world, not in the world at large. The Play is perfect in all ways. What is manifest is necessary for the unfoldment of consciousness. Time and duration are part of the illusion. Watch what your consciousness does when you free it from it's bonds within flesh. You are far more than you yet realize. Yes Wayne, even you. You will unfold in time at the pace that is right for your purpose and role in the Play. Becoming aware sooner, could be difficult to deal with. Too late, and it becomes more difficult to execute your role. Interesting how this all works. Yet, what makes me believe it to be so. Must it be this way just because my consciousness reveals it as such? Not necessarily, but I have developed a strong faith in the source consciousness from which this material flows. I have a hard time buying the idea that I am making all of this stuff up on my own. I do think a lot of my creative abilities, but this stretches far beyond my experiences and education in this existence. Further, I have no ownership sense of creating this material. It comes through my fingertips and I see it appear on the screen, but it manifests as a realtime conversation with a part of consciousness that is not part of my direct conscious awareness.
Interesting. Time is now 8:48. How appropriate 48:The Man in Search of More. [8 of Cups].
7 May 95
Looking down, I noticed that I was at Pg 2 Ln 8.38 Pos 6.56. Very interesting. Even more so because this is a partial file. However, that does not impact the content of the information presented. Consciousness is amazing at finding it's ways to send signals to us. They are always there. We only have to take notice and trust consciousness via our intuition to move us in the direction that we need to go.
Now, what's so special about 2058? The middle pops out 05:28. There we are once again with presented with what appears to be the key to the kingdom. At least, it appears to be so for my path. Whether others can follow such a path, I know not. I know first hand that one's very sanity is at stake on this particular path. My sense is that many reading this might think that my sanity was lost long ago. And, so far as believing the consensus reality -- I stopped doing that long ago, first intellectually, then based on direct experience. What I found was that the belief must preceed the experience. However, the key error in my beliefs that had to go was that my Ego was in charge of my experience. What I found was that not only was it not in charge, it had no clue as to how most of it occurred at all. Also, in the process, I've started to learn to distinguish between what is real versus what is illusion. No, don't look for it even in your University curriculums. To acknowledge that one must distinguish between the two, one must first realize that the two exist. For the most part, we occupy an illusionary world. Oh, it feels real enough to the senses; but, so do movies and video games when we really get into them.
9 May 95
The Tarot Card for the day is 15:The Devil. The significance is one of being trapped in illusion in some manner and needing to free myself of the chains that I have wrought and placed around myself. I am free. The song on the way to dinner "I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free ..." struck something in my heart. It always has. Yet, within the Play, freedom does not exist in the way most people think about it. I've always found this particular card troublesome, yet it is only 6 + 9, The Lovers + The Hermit. The Devil resonates at a six vibration and has a great deal in common with The Lovers Card. Symbology is very different but the overall positioning of figures and symbols is quite similar. Further, 6 + 15 = 21:The World.
Interesting. Yet, what will come to pass? And, what if anything can I do to prepare for and participate in bringing this destiny about? On the one hand, the answer is simple, what will be will be. On the other hand, there is a sense that we create our own reality to some degree. Completely, if one would believe Seth. The trick is in how we define "WE". Interesting that these would be my first two initials. Very interesting. There is a sense that I live in a world that is defined by the manner in which I view and interact with it. Further, it is not only me confined to such but each and every one of us. We see a few similarities and think ourselves and our worlds to be the same. But, this is not the case. "My Father's house has many mansions." So too this world is not one but many, able to how the diversity of spirits incarnating to gain experience and self knowledge. Yet, the purpose seems to have been lost by most. The task of making a living in this illusion becomes their central focus, and they forget that it is not about that at all. Interesting. The call to awaken strikes each at the appointed moment. Whether the being will indeed wake up however is far less certain. Not everything is predestined, just most things. In this sole area free will still has its expression. Another quote comes to mind "there are none so enslaved as those who are slaves yet believe themselves to be free." I'm sure I garbled it, and have no idea where it came from, but the essence is correct. To be enslaved and not to know it, is the worst form of slavery. Yet, the economic system in this country -- yes, the greatest country in the world has us enslaved, sure as the Sun rises in the East each morning.
10 May 95
[... extensive Machinations with Perfect Numbers]
Just noticed the symmetry 47:47 :03:59: 74:74 occurs 58 years after the above. If that was the time I was born, this symmetric point will occur in 2016 [Judgement:The Tower]. That feels like some type of a completion or major transition for me, personally.
Backing up, 3:59 is 1 to 4:00. To get the trigger point, requires 4x78-16 years = 296 years. As a first cut at from when, let's use the year the number was discovered. The record says that Euler discovered it in 1750. Adding 296 yields 2046. Should I live that long, it would be my 88th year. Big shivers throughout my body. 88 is completion. How appropriate that it would show up here. Euler = 5/8/11/16/25, an extremely interesting set of numbers. EULER = 2/26/38/43/52, also quite interesting in its own right. Here again, I sense that the universe is revealing her truths through my consciousness. Yes, I've been given the keys to the kingdom, and what a splendid and wonderful kingdom it is. Yet, my path is a lonely one. I am truly The Hermit -- unaware of whether there are any others on or near my path. Yet, I persist, for I know that consciousness has something grand planned and that I have a major role to play in the overall evolution of consciousness toward the ONE.
1958 = 22::22 = 25:08. Very interesting. 22 is my heart's desire. There it is twice in my birth year alone! 25 and 08 are also prominent for me. These are the components of 825, reversed = 528. We've seen this time and time again.
The years in which the Perfect Numbers were found and the number of years between finding them are quite interesting.
Only two, P(12) and P(29) were found "out of sequence". P(12) was found in 1876, 7 years before P(9), 35 years before P(10), and 37 years before P(11).
P(29) was found in 1988, 5 years after P(30) and 3 years after P(31). Interesting that 29 would be associated with 88. 1988 = 22::52 = 25:38. WOW!
In 1876, America's Centennial, P(12) was discovered. It took another 76 years before P(13) was discovered in 1952. P(14) through P(17) were discovered that same year. Interesting, this was 48 years prior to the turn of the century.
P(18) [The Moon] was discovered in 1957, the year before I was born.
My high school years and my introduction to metaphysics occured between the discovery of P(24) in 1971 and P(25) in 1978.
P(32) was discovered in 1992, the year before my spiritual transformation and P(33) in 1994, the year after. To date, there are only 33 known Perfect Numbers.
11 May 95
vision = 4/13/14/23/29/34
Vision = 22/31/32/41/47/52
VISION = 22/31/50/59/74/88
WOW! Look at these partial sums with total = completion!
14 May 95
Just noticed something interesting 2184, the final four of my SSN = 24::72 = 28:00, exactly. No wonder the 28 Tarot Card is so meaningful to me.
16 May 95
57568 - 57936 has a span of 368 with a center of 57752 = 9:38:32 The Hermit :VISION :America(I AM Race). Interesting. Now, that was quite unexpected coming from making a specific kind of connection between numbers symbolizing very different things that happened to come together in space and time in a manner that would allow me to take notice.
18 May 95
Odometer crossed 33333 on Tuesday Evening @ 9:42. I need to recalculate where the tripmeter was at the time. For some reason, I just don't remember. A lot has happened in the past two days. Work, in particular, has been extremely hectic.
The top of the chart is at 05:26 Scorpio = The Hierophant : God. This also equals 326 = 557, reversed = 755 = 528. Amazing. Simply amazing. Also equals 4:14 = 3::62.
This is starting to freak me out a bit. The synchronicities are so clear that they are almost blinding, yet there is no doubt that there are those who would refuse to see. It's interesting. I'm working with numbers in ways that are completely outside of both conventional mathematics and the little bit of numerology that I have encountered in my studies. I have no idea whether any others are observing things in this way. I'm definitely using information from astrology in a different manner than astrologers. Yet, this all seems natural to me. It's as if I'm recalling skills that I already know. Interesting. I wonder if all skills are this way, or merely those that involve the intuition and subconscious. 528 is really amazing, It comes up so frequently for me that I have come to regard it as a sign of confirmation that I am on the right path. The most obvious meaning is The Hierophant : The Man with the World in His Hand [God]. My inner sense is that in some way this is exactly what I am by destiny meant to be. To a large degree, it is what all my metaphysical training has been for. Further, my natal chart, aura, and numerology clearly confirm this as well.
Looking at Pluto again in the 1995 Solar return, the number of minutes is 333. Just 2 days ago my odometer crossed 33333 which I would interpret as 3:33-33 = 333.
21 May 95
License Plate Number = 4V36124.
Interpretation 1: 4436124 = 9:27:11:30 = 6::44::74::44. Now that's an interesting combination!
Interpretation 2: 42236124 = 1:11:00:12:60 = 61::86:03::84. Hmm, it seems the first is to be read outside in and the later inside out. Justice Exalted, The Fool, The Lovers:The World. WAYNE: The Tower, The Empress::WEHJ(my whole name). If we reverse the whole thing, we get 48::30 as the first two, The Man in Search of More : Camelot.
Both interpretations are highly meaningful. The sense is that the both apply on slightly different levels. The overall impression or feeling that I get is one of renewed confirmation of my destiny. It's interesting how such information can be hidden within the symbols that make up everyday life, but only if we have the eyes to see and ears to hear. My sense is that the true kingdom is that which is within us, and the outer is only a mirage in which we exist for a short while. This idea of the world making no sense keeps coming back to me. I look out and see this incredible amount of wasted energy. There is no reason preventing people from having what they need other than an inefficient infrastructure and a lack of a perspective on the part of each individual that looks out for the whole -- primarily, because by doing so, that individual has the greatest opportunity of getting what the individual needs. If we're going to fulfill needs on a grand scale, we have to find ways to operate WIN/WIN wherever possible. Anytime we settle for WIN/LOSE or LOSE/LOSE scenarios we waste resources and society as a whole loses. This is so obvious, yet looking out, the world definitely doesn't yet operate in this way. Individuals are on their own, or so it appears, to create their own destiny. "Equal opportunity for all" is voiced, but does not turn out to be so overall. Then again, if this is a play, this is all being done to awaken consciousness to see that the true reality is not what lies at the surface but what lies inside, and there indeed all are equal for they are all parts of the ONE. Yet, even thus, individuality is not lost, along with special skills and talents. These must be learned and earned through experience.
We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. It is not the other way around, no matter how much it may seem so. For most of us, our immediate sense is that we are physical. We have bodies, and brains that are equally physical. It is not so obvious at all that our true state is spiritual. Even more difficult to accept is that our current expression in flesh is that of our spirit being expressed in flesh. From that standpoint, to be physical is to be spiritual. There is an equality between the two.
There is no thing that is not of spirit, no matter how horrid or evil it may appear. Serial killers and child molesters are a bit tough to explain, but their roles must be as necessary as any others to the whole. How we allow such expressions without putting out the resources necessary to address their problems is abominable in many ways. Any behavior we permit or allow will continue until we put an end to it. It is the whole expressing through all of us. Our joint reality is there to teach us as well. What it teaches is open to the students, namely each and every one of us. One thing it is trying to teach is personal responsibility for the reality that you create. If you're seeing it come into your life in any manner, even through the media, then you're part of making it so. Individuals create their own reality. Where more than one individual is involved, the group creates a reality agreeable to all parties. One tends to look at small children as innocent victims in all of this. However, as spirits we are all older than the hills and wiser than the most ancient of trees. We know what we are getting ourselves into, even if this is not at all obvious on the physical front. What evidence is there for this you might ask. My only reply is probably none. The question is one of belief in the nature of how reality is created. Either we are spirit enfleshed or we are not. Believe what you will, there are enough mysteries in life for me to cast my vote for spirit.
For over 400 years, religion and science have been very much at odds with one another. Actually, this battle goes back even further, though science had an even weaker voice against the church. Then again, perhaps we need to watch our language a bit. First, religion and the church are not one and the same. Second, it is not clear that most "scientific" work done before 400 years ago was truly science. My sense is that we are reaching a time where spiritual science needs to rule in the affairs of humankind with physical science and technology subservient to moral and spiritual needs.
The key player in all of this is the consciousness of the ONE as it is expressed through each of us. This expression has been going on for eons, decade after decade, generation after generation, century after century, and millenia after millenia. Further, if we can believe the Upanishads and other texts of Eastern Religions, this process has gone on for millions of years and more. Yet, all of that matters not. There is only one ETERNAL MOMENT. All time is played out in that single NOW. Interesting NOW backwards is WON! So that is how we win, we focus on the present. As Ram Dass says "Be Here Now".
I have a plastic cup that I drink from that I got from one of the fast food restaurants. I just noticed that the cup has the picture of a basketball player. What I can read on his jersey is SON 40. Two things came to mind. I would have my Son at 40, which would be in 1998. I've always known that my children would come from my mind not my body. Interesting Son = 19+6+5 = 30 = Camelot. SON = 19+15+14 = 48. Either way, the outcome is extremely meaningful. Further 48 is the completion of the 40 from the jersey. The cup also had the name of the player. Shawn KEMP = 19/27/28/33/38 11/16/29/45 38+45 = 83 = The Hierophant Exalted. The capitalization was taken directly from the cup. The partial sums are all interesting numbers as well. 11 16 19 27 28 29 33 38 45.
22 May 95
File size = 77522. 5:22-77, sweep of 55 centered at 5:49-50. Interesting. The Hierophant and the tick to Happily Ever After. To some degree, that's what we were talking about yesterday.
On the way to dinner, the time that showed up on the clock when I turned on the ignition was 7:56, The Chariot:Balance. Once again, the two drivers of my triangle readings appeared. Interesting, this is also 4 to 8 or 428 = 4::76 = 5:38 The Hierophant:VISION.
What am I missing? I understand that this is to be my job, but clearly it is not so at the present. However, there is a sense that this year will bring lightning change. It will be interesting to experience it as it unfolds. The anticipation is tough, however. Continuing to work at a job that ultimately lacks meaning is tough to endure. Yet does any job truly have meaning. It is all a part of the awakening of spirit. I do have a VISION of a UTOPIA. However, unlike my predecessors who had such visions [Plato, Moore(???), and Huxley] I believe that I live in a time or near a time where such can be manifest. The Transcendentalists also had relevant ideas in this area, but they too were a stepping stone on the way to what is to come. The Aquarian Age is nigh upon us, and it will be as close to a utopia as can be manifest on this planet.
How can I know this? What evidence is there that the world is headed in this direction? To be honest, by all appearance, the world is headed in exactly the other direction. However, there is a silent swell growing at a rapid pace, a swell that allows metaphysical novels to hit the top of the bestseller list. Spirit is reaching out for exactly what it needs to be more fully expressed. And, literally, overnight the world can be renewed and a new dawn will finally be here, the Dawn of the Aquarian Age. Peace, sympathy, understanding, harmony, love, friendliness, compassion, helpfulness, challenge, fulfillment, ... all of these and more apply to this new age.
24 May 95
The highlights indicate numbers that call out as being highly significant. It's interesting that my birth falls at 22::22 on one scale and 25:08 on the other.
1996 = 22::60 and 25:46.
1998 = 22::62 and 25:48.
2002 = 22::66 and 25:52.
2005 = 22::69 and 25:55.
2007 = 22::71 and 25:57.
2011 = 22::75 and 25:61.
2012 = 22::76 and 25:62.
2024 = 23::00 and 25:74.
My sense is that this is the timeline that I came to participate in. I entered at 22::22 as The Fool Complete and set out to stay for the duration of the 22 cycle from a spiritual standpoint. The other years are special points along the way. My first name told of the cycle that I would help to bring in: wayne = 23.
Had I been born in 22:22 = 1738, at this point in my life it would have been 1738 + 37 = 1775, the year before the Declaration of Independence. How interesting! Also, the 22 cycle would complete in another 19 years, at which time I would have been 37 + 19 = 56.
29 May 95
Interesting. I didn't find time to write on 5/28, though that particular number has been extremely important to me for nearly two years. I did think a lot, however. Specifically, about the words from one of the popular songs in the sixties and early seventies - - "When the Moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then PEACE will reign throughout the planets and LOVE will rule the stars. This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius." For the past week, these words have nearly constantly occupied my mind. Though, they have been lingering there for several months.
One discovery of this weekend was that about 3 months and 1 week after my conception, namely on 10/16/57 the above situation occurred with the alignment Mars at 14:29:08 and Jupiter at 14:28:19 (within 49 seconds). This is quite close! Something strikes me as extremely important about this. In addition to Jupiter and Mars, Mercury was only three degrees off at 17:30:57 and the Sun only 8 degrees off at 22:47:24. All four of these planets were in the tenth house. Further, all planets were above the horizon.
Found a notebook yesterday in which I started to write my notes. It had two important dates. The first was the day that the "Thoughts on the Nature of Being" were begun: 10/10/77. The second was the next day that I wrote anything: 12/21/82. Yes, there was over five years between the initial writing session and the next sesssion. Now 5/28/95 comes into play as the day the notes were recovered.
[Note added on 3 Feb 97]
Curious, exactly 16 years later on 10/10/93, I was released from the mental hospital. Further, 11 years after the second day of writing I completed the BEYOND IMAGINATION book. Interesting.
[End of addition]
Sitting out on my porch, my thoughts wandered to the origins of the house I live in, and why I was so attracted to it. My sense was that in a very real way, this house was made for me. It was built in 1870, exactly 88 years before my birth, so it is in synch spiritually -- a haven that promotes my consciousness ever forward. We bought the house in late May 1989. It would be very interesting if the closing date turned out to be 5/28, but I'm not sure how to verify that. 1989 was the house's 119 = 88 + 31 year, my 31 year, and Gini's 49 year. We're presently in the process of selling the house after 6 years, making the house 125, me 37, and Gini 55. 125 = 1::37 = 1:47. 125 also = 5 x 5 x 5. Other hits. 119 reversed = 911, The Hermit:Justice. 125 is also the first part of my building number at work 1250 Borregas. 125 reversed = 521 = The Hierophant:The World.
So, what am I to make of all of this? There is a special destiny unfolding. There is simple no doubt about it. Exactly what it is and what it means, I know not. But, I have a faith in consciousness that is unshakeable and know that she will guide me on my way through whatever be that destiny. I willingly give of all that I AM that such destiny may be fulfilled as consciousness would direct. All of my faculties are at thy command. They could not be otherwise. Such is my state of awareness. So be it!
There is a sense of urgency -- a need to get on with it. Yet, also, there is a knowingness that things happen in accord with a timing that is perfect, a timing laid out by the plan, and there is nothing that can either hurry or slow this down one iota other than our own consciousness in experiencing what destiny bestows upon us. No, I do not resign myself to a destiny determined solely by fate, but I also know that what we are conscious of, while it impacts our perception of reality, is not the part of us that sets the script, rather it is the part for whom the script is written. Know Thyself! That's the key. Consciousness expands via the continuous pursuit of this one maxim. The amazing part is that since there is only One Self, One Consciousness, of which we temporarily perceive ourselves to be independent of; at some point the illusion vanishes and we know that we are that ONE, even in the midst of our individuality, and yet there is no fear that our unique identity will be lost in the merging for this is preserved as well.
"No boundaries, Jonathan. No limits. It's in consciousness that we can truly fly in the manner in which we were created to do." I'm sure this is not all from Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach, but the intent definitely is. I write what I hear in my head. Whether it is right or wrong is not for me to decide. I may have my own opinions at times, but overall I trust that what comes through is what consciousness intends to bring through me at the time and given the circumstances.
There is a sense that the act of bringing through information is sufficient to get it into the mass consciousness of the planet, from where consciousness can then more easily get it where it needs to go. My own experience is that in over two years of writing, I have never really had any strong sense of whom the material was for. There was never any doubt that I needed to participate in bringing it through, but the sense has been that whoever had the intelligence to write in this fashion surely knew who the audience was to be. Thus far, I am the primary audience. I can't be sure that anyone else that has received any of the material has actually read it. Interesting.
30 May 95
The file size when I left last week was 86928 @ 1:01 on 5/25/95. 9:28 - 68 is an extremely interesting swing centered at 9:48. Here we have the HERMIT operating from a sweep of WAYNE through the Man with the World in His Hands, centered at The Man in Search of More. Very interesting that this message would come through with such force. 5/25/95 sums to 125 = 5 x 5 x 5. This showed up yesterday as well! The context there was the age of my house in Monterey.
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The next question is did I miss another exact conjunction that occurred simultaneously with the Moon in the seventh house. My sense is that no, somehow this is right. Essentially it gives us 5 + 47 = 52 years to reach the Aquarian Age. I still have no sense that I will be around that long to see it, at least not in my present form. Hanging around for that long somehow seems too boring for one who would change the very nature of worlds. Then again, life here could get quite interesting very quickly. I have always felt my days were numbered, though the specific endpoint has been moving as I grow older. 2005, and 2011. 2011 is my 53 = 52:22 year, very possibly a year of completion. That it is only 16 years away doesn't bother me in the least. My ties to this world are relatively light. They always have been, and I sense they always will be. I feel no remorse about this, it is as it is, a simple statement of fact. Whether this is due to a lack of something in me or in others has no import. I work within what I have available to me. There is a sense that I could not do what I must do without this disassociation. Interesting. The Hermit I AM, and The Hermit I shall always be. So be it. No, this doesn't mean that I have no contact with the world, or that I must go off and live in a cave somewhere. In my case, I am married, have a job, and interact with the world to a limited degree. Yet, the interactions are at the surface primarily. They do not find their way to the core of what I am. The message I send is that to know me, you must know thyself. For somewhere there, you will find me also. I cannot be reflected outside of you without also being inside of you.
There is a level at which we are ONE, where no separation exists, and where there are no limits. However, getting to that level is tricky. Many say the path is narrow and difficult to follow. I would offer that such thinking is limiting in and of itself. Why must the path to enlightenment be so? Why can't it be wide and easy to follow? The answer is that the illusion is so thick that it is nearly impossibly to find one's way to what is real. This is why we have guides and wayshowers. They are there to light the way for others. Further, when enough have trod the path, it will be wide enough to bring in the roadbuilders and the transportation vehicles to take larger numbers of people through that much easier. Yet, when will all this occur. As a tropical Aries, I'm here to show the way. As a sidereal Pisces, spiritual matters are my sole concern. For the most part they have been for the past 21 of 37 of my years on the planet. That's over half of my life.
"Be in the world, but not of the world." To a large degree, such is the way I have lived and continue to live my life. The biggest issue here is attachment. In particular, keeping one's attachments in the world to a minimum. I have had many things in my life, but there is nothing so important that it could not go away and yet have minimal impact on my life. My wife and my dogs are the only exceptions but they are "beings" not "things".
31 May 95
It's interesting how a number that should be fairly arbitrary should have such meaning. If it happened only once or twice that would be something else. But, this is happening virtually all of the time. The sense is that wherever I am moved to look, there I will find meaning beyond my wildest imagining. Similarly, whatever I am moved to write generally has the same impact.
The question always comes back to what is one to do. And, the answer, as always, is whatever one is moved to do. To a large degree, there is nothing else that one can do. The wait is interesting however. There is an inner sense that massive change is so close that it is almost within arm's reach or within a minutes breath. Hmm, that's an interesting way to look at things.