3 Jan 95
My work comes from whatever source can express itself through the vessel of a hermit. In many ways, I am like C.S.Lewis. I speak deeply of things which I know to be true even though I have no direct experience. In many cases, I haven't even thought them out in my own mind. They just appear and I bring them into physical existence. For what good you might ask. Even if it were solely to engrain the ideas physically into my structure through the movement of my fingertips, such would be sufficient. The bottom line is that the ideas change me. They change who I am and what I believe. No, not because I'm weak and cannot but yield to their bidding. On the contrary, because I am strong enough to accept that there is a part of me that is unknown, perhaps even unknowable to me while in this physical existence. Because of this, I can have an unshakeable faith in not only my own destiny but that of everyman, for what exists within me exists within all. Further, at some level, I believe that this inner being or power is the same ONE power within us all. That is, it is God or Spirit expressing through us. From here it is but a short stretch to imagine that the ONE that created us and guides us all, has a PURPOSE for this creation and, in particular, a PLAN for our growth and evolution as spirit.
Oh, I know. Looking out at the mess that is the world at present, this seems a bit hard to believe. Yet, on every front change is rampant, and it is from ideas that the world will be changed. Thoughts do indeed change the world, and at no time in history has the technology been there to disseminate new thoughts to the masses quickly. There is no precedent to the current time. Reality creation can now occur at breakneck speeds. Where it occurs depends on where the resources are expended. It's time for enlightened rulers to guide our way. The basic principle should be that the individual most qualified gets the job, at every level within society. Implementing this within a society full of inflated egos presents a real challenge. Then again, that's what spiritual growth is all about.
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Back to the focus on 1995. My sense is that it is about "removing the chains" and freeing ourselves from the illusions that bind us. That's it! We need to stop thinking in the terms of the illusion. The terms themselves produce the bindings. This applies to everything. Nothing is sacred. It matters not whether it has existed 1 minute or 10,000 years. Everything must be examined to SEE what it is that fosters our growth and spirit versus what it is that hampers it. Things like democracy, freedom, capitalism, free enterprise, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the role of government, individual rights, individual responsibilities, the separation of church and state -- all these ideas and more need to be examined and challenged. The bottom line is that these things got us where we are now, and this just doesn't cut it. Deep down people must know this. They must sense that things are terribly wrong, that somewhere along the way to our present materialistic society, we lost some of what really matters, our humanity and love for one another.
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Many fear that change might make things worse for them rather than better. Yet, until we as a society step up to the fact that we are a society and as such both own everything and pay for everything, and further that we have the right to decide how wealth, goods, and services are to be generated and allocated within the society -- we will remain in the hands of the privileged few, slaves in our own country. Oh, we may be well-paid slaves, but the freedoms that we have are mere trifles -- for what we've given up for comfort is the ability to define our own destiny and be all that we truly are. For were society run in such a manner as to get the best that each citizen has to offer versus to get 40 hours/week at jobs that may or may not be to one's liking or for that matter worth doing at all, everyone would benefit immensely from (1) greatly increased happiness and (2) greatly increased productivity. If everyone is doing more, with the same amount of people consuming, then there are more goods and services per capita.
4 Jan 94
What is it that I truly want? When am I the most happy? The second question is easy, it is when I am involved in using my abilities to generate new top level ideas and to organize information in ways that convey new and greater meaning. You might say that I am hooked on thought, not detailed analytical thought, but high level intuitive thought. My world is clearly one of ideas. They are more meaningful and more real to me than anything in this physical world. They are where I place my attention. You could even say that they are where I live. Interesting. The next question that comes to mind is whether this is "healthy"? I'm not so sure about that. I exist in the physical world, barely. To be "in this world but not of this world". This is the challenge of the scripture. But what does it mean to be in this world? Do I truly participate, or am I looking on from the fringes? And, does it matter? Why do I play my part in the manner that I do? Do I have any other choice? Does it even matter?
As to wants, that is a tougher question. I want only to learn and to grow and to use my abilities and talents in support of my mission in accord with the Plan of consciousness. I have no particular desire for this or for that, to be here or to be there, or to do anything specific other than that which is the Will of Consciousness for me to do. I understand that my destiny is unfolding as is that of every individual, only I realize that consciousness has always guided my way drawing me to exactly those experiences that I needed when I needed them. I trust that this is true of everyone whether they believe it or not. Then again, if they didn't believe, from their perspective it would not appear so. Interesting how the differences between appearances and reality are so blatant. Awareness is the key. It unlocks the door to the true mansion of the soul.
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I'm reaching a point where it's as if neither the future nor the past exist. Whereas before, I may have had some projections, even if they were fuzzy, as to what I wanted to happen -- now, there is absolutely nothing. Literally, there is a complete blank. My sense is that renouncing my will to follow Thy Will caused this to be. This decision I will not change. My sense is that it is so engrained in my being that I could not change it even if I desired to do so. One major result of all this is a great uncertainty attached to the future, and even more important to where the expanded present will lead. My faith in consciousness, however, knows no bounds. To me, it is certain that consciousness guides every step of my way. I am aware of so little. However, what distinguishes me from others is that I have realized what this means. The fact that I can experience things over which I have no conscious control, and further have no means to be able to understand how they work is absolutely fascinating to me. Essentially, they constitute the boundary to the unknowable. The very nature of consciousness itself falls into this category. We know not how it arises, nor where it resides if indeed it does, nor how it operates. In fact, when we look at how little of the operation of our minds that we understand after several thousand years of study by the best and brightest beings on the planet, it clearly makes one wonder. Yet, what is even more striking is the idea that there is a grand plan behind existence. In particular, that this is all a school for consciousness, and that matter is but one of the forms that consciousness expresses itself within. The grandness comes however from the intricate way in which the fabric of consciousness is interwoven so that worlds occur on many level from the microscopic to the macroscopic and at all levels in between. The web of life, of existence, is indeed a miraculous thing and yet the strands of the web each follow their path. The animals seem to have reached the end of their paths. They evolved as far as they could as a vehicle for ever expanding consciousness. Man seems to be the form in transition, and by all accounts we are on the threshold of a revolutionary step that will greatly expand our capacity for expressing spirit in flesh. Some, currently incarnated came as the wayshowers. They were gifted with the ability to see things differently then most, possessing a keenly developed inner sight and, in many cases a direct knowingness pertaining to spiritual truth. In most cases, the wayshowers came from outside of the human evolutionary path on earth, though they typically chose one or more prior existences to become acclimatized to the earth prior to entering this, their mission existence. How interesting. I wonder where this really comes from. In some aspects, it is similar to things that I have read but in others it is different. What gives me the license to state these things in this manner? Yet, something about all of this feels right. It's as if there is this vast part of me that knows all of this stuff, yet this vast part is not conscious. I trust that it is there however, and I know that it is omniscient -- however, need to know is still the operative force. Why do consciously what the subconscious can already do much better automatically? Then what would we have consciousness do? What else, focus on awareness and knowing thyself, and in the process do what you are moved to do, allowing spirit to express through you into flesh as clearly as is possible given your present state of awareness. Remember, you are not "doing" anything anyway. You are consciousness. As such, you experience being aware. If you're deceived into thinking that you have control over what you experience, you still have a lot to learn. Remember that you are the watcher, not the entity being watched, though the actions of that entity do reveal to you a lot about who and what you are and are not. YOU are creating your own reality, and that reality is what you are observing. However, YOU in this case is primarily the other than conscious parts of yourself.
5 Jan 95
You could conclude that you are being walked through you life by a master puppeteer of sorts; and, you would be right in such a conclusion for such is what the other than conscious parts of yourself are. Only, in this case, there is a further complication of the challenge of getting the conscious part to grow in awareness so that spirit can be more fully expressed directly in flesh. So the puppeteer plays a sort of game, exerting control from behind the scenes in such a manner that the puppet, the conscious beings believe themselves to be free.
Something comes to mind about no one being more enslaved than prisoner who falsely believes himself to be free. Yet, in this world where does freedom truly begin and end. It seems to me that all are free who know themselves to be so, and that to such beings the conditions of the world have no bearing on their freedom. The bottom line is that no matter what social or governmental system applies to the region in which I live, I am always free to think, limited only by the frameworks that I have developed for capturing and expressing truth, and by my openness, interest and intention. My possessions, these can be taken from me. But, the skills I have learned for using the vast capabilities of my mind, these cannot be taken away -- perhaps with the exception of killing me, or frying my brain via drugs or electricity. Further, however, lie the truths that I have realized about the nature of being and of spirit. These are permanent, they are the lessons of the soul which, once experienced, forever change that sacred entity.
8 Jan 95
Two night ago, I watched The Client. It was an outstanding movie. Susan Sarandon's part was spectacular as was that of her 11 year old client. The movie was full of suspense from it's opening moments through just before it's happy ending. Gini was turned off in the first few minutes, and mentioned "how could you watch such trash, you're supposed to be spiritual -- what's spiritual about this crap?" At some level, we have to see everything as spiritual, for all of it truly is of spirit. There is nothing else!
9 Jan 95
At this point, I am still convinced of the lack of conscious choice in human affairs, though there is a level at which choices do appear as if they are made consciously. The question however becomes: how can we know for certain? The bottom line is that if it appears that a choice can be made and I take action (or see myself take action) aligned with a particular choice, did I indeed make a choice? If I say yes, the immediate question is was there something that caused me to make the choice in the particular way? Because of the way we experience time, we are never provided the opportunity to go back and see whether a choice could have indeed been made in another way. My intuition says there is something about the nature of time that needs to be considered. The basic metaphysical teaching is that all time is simultaneous. For us to experience it as other than that, we must buy into a set of limitations and restrictions that allows this game we call Life to be played on this gameboard that is our Universe. Seth talked about having to focus in a very specific way to be able to take on the particular perspectives of the students in the class. Otherwise he saw not only the current lifetime, but all past and future ones as well. What is required for this to be so? I have no reason to doubt Seth's veracity.
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The sense is that I still have some important lessons to learn, primarily spiritual ones, however pertaining to more fully incarnating spirit in flesh. Further, it seems that there is just shy of one year to accomplish this task. Where it will lead me, and whether I'm to remain in my primary mode as Hermit are still to be determined. But, there is a more marked spring in my step. With each passing week and month, I am that much more closer to whatever my destiny calls for. Thy will be done. It is not my little I that has the Vision for bringing forth a New Age, but rather it is The Will of Spirit which I humbly allow to command my own. Show me where I can be of the greatest service in support of your Plan, and I will gladly do all that I can to the best of my ability. Further, I realize that it is not me who truly does anything, but spirit operating through me. Being such, let me be the best vehicle for spirit that I can be.
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I still see myself thinking from the top down, and because I'm working alone, I haven't really had time to work everything out down to any middle ground. Then again, it is not clear that it is time for details yet. We have to get people to buy the basic concept of how does a society function, and in particular what is the responsibility of individuals to one another. There must be a spiritual basis, or you might as well allow the society to die anyway. Life isn't worth living, if it can't be lived spiritually. Interesting. Somehow, I doubt that even a small fraction of the population would agree with that last statement. Yet, that's what the Age of Aquarius is all about. Something has to give, and give soon. The present foundation cannot support the structure that is being brought down to earth. Castles in the Air. That is fine, that's where they belong. Now, put the foundations under them. That's much of why I am here, to bring forth information related to building the foundations. The castles are built, at least in terms of thought. But, thought alone is not enough to plant things on this earth. At some point, the thought must be transformed into flesh or matter. Interesting. So what kinds of castles does the Aquarian Age bring? And, what foundations must be laid?
In the past, you've allowed yourself to get bogged down a bit by the details. Don't worry yet about how something will be done. It is enough to know that it must be done and possibly how it relates to other tasks. Also, don't worry that your conscious mind may not fully understand what is coming through as it comes through. Trust that the time you have spent establishing this communications pathway was indeed effective; and now, it will be used to bring forth material that literally can come through in no other way. Yes, we know that seems to be a pretentious statement to make, but we made it, not you. No, it is not a channel in the sense of a TV channel where you turn to it and there is something being broadcast. In this case, it is for you to get into a receptive mode and allow this communication to take place. What comes through will be what needs to come through. Also, you need not spend all your time in this state. Your intuition will tell you when something needs to come through, or is available to come through. How do I know that this is not just me talking to myself? For all you, and your scientists for that matter, know, that is exactly what is happening. However, this requires a very expanded sense of you. It's interesting how quickly consciousness creates such seeming complexity. There is nothing simple about it, but then what would you expect given just what is apparent in our world?
10 Jan 95
Three is coming up all around me. The Three of Swords, followed by the Three of Cups, followed by the Three of Cups again after a break of several days. In addition, 222 = 2:22 = 3:00 = The Empress. In a major reading last year, The Empress was at the head of the major V with The Emperor in an important but much less substantial position. Hmm, this has something to do with all the triples that are showing up on my bills as well. Now, the tough part. What does it mean? Knowing that this is so, how does it impact either my ability to act (which I believe to be relatively small), or my level of awareness? There is an overall sense that the impact is great but yet that it is somehow unknown and further even unknowable. Interesting. That seems the easy way out. However, what am I asking for in this instance? In particular, knowledge of the meaning of a synchronicity centered on the symbol 3 or the trinity. Mother, Father, and Child are united. Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Superconscious, Conscious, and Subconscious. Even Mind, Body, and Spirit. Personally, the universe or spirit is telling me that I'm in the process of integrating these triples. Where that ultimately takes me, I do not yet know. This is new ground we are trodding on, at least as far as I am aware. Further, I sense that if this path had already been explored to the degree it needs to be, I would not have been led to it in this manner. Of course, there is nothing to say that I am not still in a mode of learning to be a wayshower and this is just one of the steps along the way. The very nature of the trinity step is something that many would have had to encounter over the years. However, what confronts me now is to determine what this personally means to me. Actually realize more than determine is the correct means of stating this.
15 Jan 95
Nearly everything in my being drives me toward being the ultimate of priests, The Hierophant, who rules from an enlightened spiritual perspective that has not yet been known on this planet, at least in recent times. Yes, it seems to be the ultimate of ego-centrism to think that I am to attain this role in the relatively near future. Yet, at the same time, it seems that this is exactly what I am being prepared for. It seems that, in particular, lack of attachments and connections that could exert undo influence was specifically important.
Do I desire power, or do I desire only to serve spirit to the greatest degree that I am able in establishing a new spiritually based order on the planet?
16 Jan 95
Redistribution of wealth is not something that most will find easy to take. Further, it is not yet clear how this can be done or whether it even should be done. Yet, we can't have people making millions in the new order. At the same time, it does not seem right that everyone makes the same amount. Further, one can't judge worth on the basis of the value of one's services since these are highly dependent on skills and abilities which were innate by birth. Equality does present it's difficulties. Looking at the problem in this way only highlights the difficulties. There must be another way that provides reasonable solutions. The major question however is how much control versus how much freedom must be provided in the economic system for it to be effective? It's interesting how this issue continues to come up for me. My nature is to be the dictator, and I want things to be done in the way that I decide to be best. Yet, I know that my decisions are improved if I am open to input prior to making the decisions. This may also manifest as being open to alternatives in my own mind prior to making a decision.
The beneficent dictator, is this what Hierophant is? Driven by spirit, his sole concern is the good of all -- and primarily the spiritual good at that. Am I the Hierophant? Dare I even ask? Clearly, that is about as grandiose as I could think at this time. Yet, grandiose or not, the question is still valid. I am or I am not. It's as simple as that. If I am, then I'm in for one hell of a ride in the coming years. However, even if not, it seems that I'll always have a prominent place behind the scenes. The question seems one of how much do I see myself in the limelight? Do I have the character to play the role of Becket to the equivalent of Henry? Or, will such a story be played out by others who have the proper boyhood connections and trust in one another to force the key issues to be played out again. Only this time, we might see that the spiritual power is sufficient to finally squelch the physical power, and that government can be put in its rightful place as subservient to the spiritual/moral needs of the people. Rather than the King or Emperor retaining power, the Hierophant will indeed rule supreme in the land.
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As the Hermit, I'm in a strange position among men, in that I have so few connections established with others. This permits a freedom of thought and action that are beyond what others might consider as acceptable. It also creates a convoluted mind that is wrapped up in a way that allows connections to be made, and thoughts to be passed through in a manner that is far different from others. Thus, it is no accident that such notes as these are not to be found elsewhere. Consciousness simply has not expressed in this manner.
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Interesting. Piece by piece, the information is revealed and the puzzle is put together. With each realization, however, I'm only consciously aware of a few of the connections that are being made. There is a sense that much is going on behind the scenes and that I am only being given what I need to consciously know, which in most cases seems to correspond to what I am curious about. Growing up, I don't remember being curious about much. In class, I don't remember ever asking any questions -- not through high school nor through college. Why this was so, I don't really know. I just don't recall any questions coming to mind. How much different things are now. Dealing in an area where many things are simply unknown, questions are one of the few tools at one's disposal for focussing on the issues related to the unknown. In fact, in the notes for 1994 alone, I would bet that I asked more questions than in my entire 35 years of life before.
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Yet, even with all that, and the many answers that have come -- the very basic things about life and consciousness are as much of a mystery as ever. Further, it appears that they will always be so; for it seems that as soon as you get a grasp of what consciousness is, one's level of awareness expands and consciousness is no longer what you thought it to be but something far grander. Perhaps, this is the never ending spiral. Consciousness and spirit for that matter, could simply be things that one experiences that can never be fully explained. This strikes against the core of science, but there may just be things in this world that are unknowable, no matter how much resources are expended in pursuing them. However, though the basic nature is unknowable, that doesn't mean that one cannot learn enough about oneself to operate effectively, and in particular to develop in a manner that allows spirit to be most fully expressed.
18 Jan 95
It's in the playing of the game of life that we learn and grow; and as we do so, we begin to express more and more of the spirit that we are. The more spirit expressed, the grander the game -- at least in terms of overall level of grandeur for the masses. We've already had times where the extreme grandeur for a select few was supported by the extreme poverty for the many. It is no longer clear that such great differences in wealth and privilege can or will be tolerated.
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For the most part, voters and their representatives are not exposed to the real issues. Presently government is where a lot of power games get played out, many times to the detriment of the majority of the people for whom this government was designed to represent. Reform should be easy. Get rid of the ability of PACs and special interest groups to use money or voter pressure to cause our representatives to make decisions and laws that are not in the best interest of society. Period. If people want change, or government support for anything, there should be a standard form to use that explicitly calls out the cost/benefits to society. These forms should be reviewed by government experts for validity, then prioritized based on a uniform set of criteria. Those ideas with sufficient merit will then compete for budget.
An added benefit from this is that people will start to think about their special interest in a more expanded way because the more value the idea provides to society, the more likely the idea will indeed get funded. Even when they do get funded, however, programs should start as prototypes to provide insurance that what was proposed can indeed be achieved and provides the described benefits.
21 Jan 95
So, what's the point of all of this? There is something that ties me to Plato, I've known it since I first read his works in high school. There is something common (in essence or spirit) that drives all men who dream of bringing Utopias down to earth. It is as if they spring forth from one common soul here to guide mankind toward greater more noble expression on this earth. Too often the affairs of the world are settled in the hands of the few who have their own hearts, and heads, and pockets as their greatest interest -- and in many cases, it matters not what price others may have to pay to sustain their personal gain.
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Looking to the world now, many see great prosperity for the majority. And indeed, by many standards, such is the case. But, amidst all of this, in a nation that prides itself on equality, great economic inequities remain. So long as we operate as a country of individual states, and individuals within those states, we place nearly all of the burden of making a living at a level where it is least effectively accomplished. Individuals are given the responsibility to earn a living but they are not truly empowered to do so. In a world where skills and knowledge are specialized, where technology changes rapidly, and where employers have a pool of unemployed workers to tap from -- individuals are to some degree trapped in their work environments. There are always exceptions, but there are many people in this country who work for the same company 25, 30, 40, and even 50 years. I personally find that hard to imagine, but there is a sense of security that is established by working in this manner. And, as to whether people know they are trapped, someone once said something to the effect that "none are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe themselves to be free". The current economic system has this kind of effect on people. They get accustomed to a quality of life and to advertisers pushing them to stretch that quality of life, on installment if necessary. And, each year better and better things and services come out for our consumption, but again the cost is enslaving us to a job that allows us to pay the bills. The government doesn't help, allowing the tax rate to increase over time cutting further into the income available to spend. So, we go to two income families or overtime to be able to afford to live the lifestyle we choose. Yet, at what point does it all end?
The bottom line is that we are a free society in pursuit of happiness. A prerequisite for this happiness is getting our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs met. The economy exists to provide the goods and services required to support meeting these needs. Provide means (1) create the right ones, (2) create the right quantities, and (3) distribute them to where they are needed. At the present time our economy does not do this. Hungry and homeless people are not having basic needs met. Conservatives argue that this is the problem of the individuals, and let private charity help them. At what point will we realize that poverty is everyone's problem? At what point will we stand up as a collection of individuals and tell our representatives that if they take one more action that benefits any PAC, company, or industry to the detriment of the people -- that will be the last decision they make for us. Further, the legislation of the past 40 years or so should be reviewed. Any legislation found to benefit any company or industry that does not have the best interest of the people as its basis should be repealed as well. For example, it is ludicrous for this country to subsidize the farming of tobacco while we pay for ads that attempt to get people to stop smoking or to not even start to begin with. We should not allow products with known addictive substances to be advertised or sold to the general public. In some cases, such as caffeine in coffee and sodas, this may need to be waivered. However, waivers should only be granted in special cases where the overall impact is beneficial or at least not detrimental.
30 Jan 95
This morning I was a bit annoyed by a car in front of me that was moving too slow during a time when I did not have the opportunity to pass. Intuition guided me to check and record it's number, 2AGV238.
Something tells me that this has many hidden meanings that could tie a lot of things together.
Let's start with 21 7:22 23 8 = 21 8 23 8. This deals with the 21 22 23 sequence from my first name, heart's desire, and second name.
Taking V as 4 rather than 22, yields 21 74 23 and 8. First name, whole name, middle name and reduced destiny number / birthday. That's a lot of stuff that pertains to me. Further, I was not moved to even notice another license plate during my 1.5 hour drive into work.
2A 7 V2 38 = 21 7 42 38 = 21 7 222 38. VISION guides The Chariot from 2:01 to 2:22, through the time of The High Priestess to the time when The Empress can begin her reign.
AGV = Adam God Eve. Interesting. Especially, surrounding AGV by 22, The Fool Exalted, my Heart's Desire. Yet, there is something else that AGV means as well. It will come in due time, as does all such information. There is another piece, [A]dam [G]od [E]ve = [AGE].
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How do I know when to reduce numbers and when they are to be manipulated and arranged in particular ways? The answer is simple, it is largely by intuition. I've gone beyond the point where there is any true conscious understanding of the processing at work in bringing thoughts into my mind. All that I know is that this occurs naturally and I can count on consciousness to bring forth whatever it is that I am in need of at any particular time. There is nothing that could be forced of directed even if I might want it to be. In my present state, I have no idea toward what ends anyway. I have resigned my will to The Will of Consciousness that her works may be done in accord with the Plan. Part of this comes from a knowingness that there is indeed a Plan, a knowingness that comes primarily from having been taught a new symbolic language, one through which spirit reveals herself just as clearly and deliberately as atoms combine to for higher level molecules. This spiritual reality, in all its full glory is there intertwined with everything -- accessible to all who have the ears to hear and eyes to see.
Yet, from my experience this is not such an easy task. One must open one's mind to new possibilities and see beyond what is there in the illusion to the true reality that underlies it and all existence. There is more to life than making a living and having fun. Then again, what is right for me is not necessarily right for another.
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Now 12:16 AM file size 131552 = (31) 15 (52) = (09) 16 (30). The Tower sweeping from The Hermit (09) through Camelot (30). This would require 21 years, through the year 2016. The year 16:22 arrives in 2008 and 16:25 in 2011. 2002 puts us at exactly 16:16. Can this be coincidence as well that these years would have such great symbolic meaning?
And all from a file size, taken at the beginning of the top of the final day of the month. The more I write, the more I am blown away at what consciousness is able to reveal of the Plan. This is not my plan. Further, this is not fiction, though I know not exactly where it originates. One thing after another. Seemingly random occurrances in an ordinary day, yet the miraculousness with which they reveal information about the spiritual universe is beyond any doubt. Could I prove to you that this is so? No! Such is not my job. When you are ready to find this world, it will be revealed to you as well. These notes over a testament to what I have discovered and allowed to flow through me. It has not been revealed to me, however, if or how what I have learned applies to another. I am what IAM.