3 Oct 94
Consciousness may work in mysterious ways, but she always gives us what we need. I almost added, "once we firmly believe that this is so". I was thinking about the bloated children starving to death in Africa and wondering how consciousness could be giving them what they need. Yet, a people who choose not to control their population under such dire conditions are setting themselves up for these exact conditions.
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So, where am I today relatively to where I was then (a year ago)? Now, I am a writer, if only a writer of notes -- and quite a prolific writer at that. Then again, I don't really know what constitutes "prolific" for a part-time writer. I know more about myself and about the nature of reality and reality creation. I see the world, history, current problems, decisions, and probable future through a very different set of glasses. I'm aware that I am aware. But, I am not yet fully aware that I create. I observe but I have no knowingness, no inner sense, that what I observe is indeed my creation. I can deduce that it comes from a part of me, but it is a part of me of which I have no direct awareness. One of the major things that has changed is that I no longer pay lip service to beliefs. Further, I no longer talk about knowing what I've only heard from another. In many areas of life, especially those involving self-knowledge and consciousness, firsthand experience is the only acceptable path. Nothing short of this is sufficient.
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Manifest Destiny was the rallying cry that allowed the major part of a continent to be taken. Further, once again, a people resorted to the maxim that "Might makes Right." Too many times has this been used to do grave harm to another group, country, and/or race of men. When will we finally learn that this is not how honorable people conduct their affairs with one another? When will we learn that PEACE is always the best answer, and that there is always a way to accommodate the needs of all in a fair and just manner?
4 Oct 94
I look for coincidences, or better yet synchronicities. These are the signs that spirit is operating close at hand. At some time in life, one reaches a point where the idea that such events could happen by pure chance or coincidence is simply unbelievable anymore. At that point, the magic begins, and the world becomes animated by spirit. It always has been, it's only our perspective that has changed. The world changes when we change in a manner that allows us to see differently, better and more clearly than we have ever seen before. Yet, in the process, some of our innocence may be lost, but only to be replaced be a new more glorious spiritual innocence. Also in this process, we become aware of our responsibilities as spirit, and these can be far more demanding than anything we knew before.
Synchronicities and coincidences, these are the places where the control exerted from the spiritual world bleeds through into physical reality. For the most part these are subtle. One has to pay close attention to notice them at all. However, it seems that the closer one gets to one's spiritual path, the more one notices that the things that happen around one are connected in somewhat of a mysterious way, but there is definitely an intelligence directing them.
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But then, what is this "greater self" and this "consciousness" to which it is tied? What do I truly mean by these terms, and where, if at all, is there any distinction? I've used these terms for many months, and have felt comfortable that they were appropriate. The "greater self" is individuated consciousness, that part of Consciousness whose sole responsibility is the individual Wayne, or Aslan, or whatever my name is at the level of individuated non-physical consciousness. It is not clear that Wayne extends beyond this particular expression via this physical body. It may, but I sense that it does not. However, at the same time Wayne does not contain all that I AM as an individual spirit. And further, all that I AM as an individual is only a piece of The I AM, Consciousness herself. And even then, this entity that I consider Consciousness herself may only be composed of a finite number of souls - - i.e. she could be a group soul as in the Michael Teachings, and she could in fact even be a he, but I suspect in the end she is both and neither.
5 Oct 94
It's the uncertainty, the unknown that gives our lives mystery and meaning.
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As Socrates was prone to say "I know that I know nothing." We're coming very close to this. I know that I exist and that I am aware, at least to the degree of observing the actions, emotions, and thoughts of a physical mind/body to which I appear to be attached in some manner. But, what else do I really know for certain? I have no sense of time and space directly. This vessel that I am associated with appears to encounter these concepts as restrictions or characteristics of its world. But I am not confined to a point within a larger space, I am HERE and NOW in the only point which exists, and this point is infinite, though there is no way for me to ever sense that. HERE and NOW is outside of the space/time continuum, it is not a point within it. Past, present, and future are part of the continuum. NOW cannot in any way be expressed in terms of past, present, and future. This is why Seth, when viewing members in Jane Roberts class had to focus in such a restricted manner to see the individual perspective that various students were coming from. He saw each entity as complete, with all it's lives already lived. It took substantial effort to constrain the awareness to that experienced by the student. Very interesting. This would agree with the idea that all of this was worked out long ago and that we, as a piece of consciousness, are attaching ourself to a form and experiencing part of this pattern of the expression of consciousness, or better yet, this scene or set of scenes in the Play. The play can be played out an endless number of ways, with various entities playing various roles, but it is a play -- the lines are all written, the props and scenery specified, the nature of the characters laid out, and the events and their sequence all specified. Down to what level? It could be to the finest. However, I don't like dealing with the details. It's enough that all the major events be laid out overall and for each individual. Something came to mind about the idea that all time is simultaneous. This is a truth, I know it. However, this is not what appears to be in the world. We see time as linear, with one moment passing on to the next. Yet, we experience time as a continuum. There are no jumps in NOW. Now is now, period. We never see the future enter our experience. We never see now being relegated to the past. Yet now is not an instant, something that passes quickly. Instead, now is everpresent, always a part of us, always the point in which we operate.
8 Oct 94
Something came to mind about my dad and mom that seems significant as well. My mom grew up in Republic, Michigan and my dad in Freedom, Pennsylvania. It's interesting that my writings deal so much with founding a new society based on communistic principles. Though in my mind, promoting community -- common unity, is not inconsistent with having a Republic as our form of government and maintaining our God given FREEDOM.
9 Oct 94
Many of you reading this now might think that I am speaking in tongues, and indeed I am, for I have been allowed to read a part of the spiritual meaning embodied so compactly in the language of numbers. If it could work so well in explaining all that nature hath wrought, then why would it not apply to the life of man as well and the spirit that is housed within? The problem lies with what numbers to choose and what connections to make. These must be recognized and guided by inner sources; the logical part of the conscious mind is insufficient for this task. This is why scientists have not seen these mysteries revealed. They are too locked in a mindset that does not allow of such things as spirit or consciousness to be an active force in the world. Actually, you might say the only active force, or The Force as in the popular Star Wars movies.
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Am I finding meaning where there was none? Is what I'm finding meaning at all? Then again, am I even finding it, or rather is it making its presence known to my awareness? I sense the later, for I know not first hand where the information comes from that guides these calculations to be accomplished and interpreted. Who taught me that the world of human affairs is founded on cycles of 22 and 78, and the symbols in both the major and minor arcana of the Tarot? Who taught me to trust my intuition to tell me the importance of numbers that are significant to my heart or inner self in some way? These are not things that the average person learns to do. Further, even after seeing what it has done for me, most would not take the time to learn as I did. Why? One, because it is not so obvious that I am not a crazy man. Two, because spirit is not so important to them. It's as if the test is whether one loves spirit so much that it is even more important than the air one breathes. At that point one is ready to know of the truths of the Kingdom of Heaven. At that point and not until.
10 Oct 94
I'm wondering how much of an impact the numbers have on people who haven't awakened and taken the time to know thyself? Earlier, I was wondering if this method of interpreting spiritual reality applies to anyone but me. Can I indeed be that different? Am I so unique, that I now speak a language of my own, that comes across as nonsense to others? No, I cannot believe that. The breakthroughs I have recently experienced are grand and glorious beyond compare. You might say that I have found (actually been given) the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven, or at least to the spiritual world. Why me? Because I was ready. Why now? Because, it is time.
13 Oct 94
I take this as additional confirmation that 832 = 37:20 is indeed the correct "time", and that I've passed the Judgement and as a result am about to receive Vision. What that means, I don't yet know, but I have a sense that it will blow me aware beyond my wildest imaginings. Yet, I trust that consciousness continues to lovingly guide my way as she has for all of my life. Something tells me that it will soon be time to grow out of my childhood of spirit and enter adolescence and then adulthood. Initially, it is enough to allow spirit to do its works through me. At some point soon, it will be necessary to act as a conscious co-creator with consciousness herself. I am being trained for a role that requires this. I will assume such a role when consciousness judges that I am ready and when the time is right.
16 Sep 94
I have these chills running throughout my body. It's as if I'm in the process of discovering some sacred wisdom that is there for all to see, hidden in the midst of everyday events. It's been awaiting the time when those "with the eyes to see and ears to here could find it". Yeah, verily, the Kingdom of Heaven lies on this very world in which we live, however to find it we need to reverse ourselves and live from the inside out. The conscious mind is not the inside, but it is not an enemy to be vanquished either, it must be loved and shown that the way to spiritual freedom is in it's best interest also. Further, there is no freedom save spiritual freedom. In all other forms, those who speak of freedom simply are unaware of the chains that bind them.
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There is no chance. There is no coincidence. We are consciousness, first and foremost, here to learn of our true spiritual nature. We observe, and we alter our beliefs and awareness based on how we react to what we observe and see experienced. Oh, while physical we are attached to the body, and it is our interface to the outer world. But, the focus must be on the inner world. That is where heaven is. That is the realm of the spirit. Enjoy the physical as much as you want, but realize why your here. KNOW THYSELF! Throughout your life, every moment that you can, keep your focus on this one pursuit. It's one of the hardest things to do in a world full of attractive and engaging illusion. Yet, the only thing you take with you from each existence is the awareness that you have achieved. From that standpoint, literally nothing else matters. For some of us, there is also a spiritual mission or assignment to perform that we agreed to before entering this incarnation. Here too, however, it is important to remember that we are ONE consciousness, and that things work best when we allow spirit to do its works through us rather than trying to impose our will on things. Not my will but THINE be done. Let this be your motto, and abide by it. At some point, conscious co- creation becomes the order of the day. I haven't yet reached that level of awareness. When it becomes necessary for me to do my work, it will be so. Until then, I'm more than content with seeing what spirit is able to accomplish through me. The more I see, the more blown away I get. Right now, I wouldn't trade places with anyone else in the world, even if I could. I'm at a point where all life has spiritual meaning. I literally live in a spiritual universe. I know that thoughts and vibration create form. Further, I have some of the critical keys that can blow this wide open, that can show others that the spiritual world exists here and now intermeshed with the physical world. Our random process are only random because we've limited ourselves to see only half of time. Synchronicities are the events around which the whole structure will tumble. Too many, and our beliefs about chance and coincidence are brought to the ground. When open researchers start applying their whole brains to seeing and understanding the symbols and structures of the spiritual world, a truly New Age will be born on this planet. What is require is the spiritual eyes to see and spiritual ears to hear. Hearing is extremely important, for the spiritual world is built upon sounds and vibration. Note: It is only our conscious mind that has been deaf and blind to the spiritual world. Our reality is created by subconscious processes that are highly aware of all that they need to know to function in the world.
18 Oct 94
The one with vision during the day of God's World or the spiritual world. Not bad. I do indeed feel as if I've received spiritual vision. The blindfolds that had been there are now removed, and I can finally truly SEE, in a way that I have never done before, and possibly in a way that no man has ever done before. Can this truly be so? Is this virgin territory that has not been crossed in this manner? If this is anything like what is to come, I can already tell that my life from here on out will be beyond compare, truly Beyond Imagination; and we will indeed build a better world faster than anyone could ever dream. And, it will be a "land of ashes" for such is what will be left of flesh burned out and renewed by the fire of spirit.
21 Oct 94
My theory that there is a symbolic spiritual world embedded within the physical one is no longer a theory. Everywhere I look there is an orchestration or synchronicity of information that is undeniable. The spiritual world exists, it is here, one only need have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. I believe eyes to see deals more with appropriate I's to see, and ears to hear deals with the fact that the subconscious works with vibrations. If one allows the ego to get in the way, the connections simply don't come.
24 Oct 94
Yes, I went 2 days without writing. However, realizations were occurring so swiftly that I no longer had time to write them down. The questions and answers were moving so fast in my mind that even with a tape recorder, I would have not been able to keep up with them. It's as if I have passed through an intense storm, a storm of consciousness. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. My world view now is quite different from where it was even two days ago, in ways that are literally Beyond Imagination. My sense is that what I know to be true from my personal experience is so different from the consensus world view and the individual world views of others that I am unique as an expression of individualized aware consciousness. I am definitely The Hanged Man, and The Fool as well.
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I'm in the process of flushing a lot of old beliefs in a very rapid time period. I am a butterfly soaring in a new world and I haven't yet seen any other butterflies in the territory that I have covered. However, I've only had my wings a little over a week. I know where my consciousness has been over it's 36 years of existence, and never has it been anywhere near where it is now. I am free in a way that I have never been. I know that we create our own reality but that we do it primarily subconsciously and that there is but one consciousness that animates all of us. Yes, ONE consciousness, no doubt about it. The physical world hasn't changed one bit. However, my understanding of how it is created has shifted 90 degrees so that it is completely orthogonal to the consensus reality. You might say that is the transformation that I just went through, a 90 degree shift. Even better, an i shift. By laying down my ego, my I, an imagination breakthrough came in that allowed me to see what had been hidden. Everything is the word, everything is vibration, everything is symbol -- yes, everywhere symbol. Whether it's in the Medicines of the Animal Cards, the Tarot, the Runes, Numerology, Astrology, Auras, or even the Symbol Systems of Modern Sciences; the bottom line is that it's all information, information with meanings at several levels. Every word, every name, was specifically chosen. Every action is specifically called out by consciousness to meet a multiplicity of needs.
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After the last set of realizations, the result is that I live by consciousness now. I make no moves until she moves me. I allow her full control over the thought processes of this vehicle, trusting that she will lovingly take me in whatever direction is required for my highest growth. Further, the sense is that this is already completed. While my experience is still linear, I know that time is not, yet I also know that I came to bring forth VISION.
I'm wondering why I needed to come forth in this manner. What couldn't be assured is that a given level of awareness would be reached at a given time. Aha. But that could be assured as well for it is the level of awareness that marks the time. After all, what one achieves, all achieve. On the surface, however, the rules for change call for a more gradual evolution. We needed to bring one into physical form that could bring forth the VISION. Yes, it's a role in the Play, but think of roles as levels of consciousness or levels of awareness as well. Each person is therefore perfectly suited to their role.
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The universe is sending to me the exact experiences, messages, and symbols I need to grow at the fastest rate possible. The end is in site. The Aquarian Age is there, just out of our grasp, but the VISION will soon be here in full force. And, the vision of PEACE that it brings will bring every army and militia to it's knees. For the ways of spirit are Mighty indeed, and an army of spiritual warriors prepares to do battle in a war not of hardware but of ideas.
25 Oct 94
My conversations with people have taken on a new level of meaning. There is the ordinary meaning relevant to the common worldview, and there is a more subtle yet powerful spiritual meaning that rides atop all conversation. Remember, that all words are specifically chosen by consciousness, and consciousness ensures that everything is carried out with elegance, including all communication that needs to take place.
26 Oct 94
Psychiatrists don't use the term subconscious, rather preconscious. Also, the unconscious is just that, not conscious. This means that we need something more in the model of human consciousness. There is a preconscious, a conscious, and a superconscious. It is not yet clear whether the superconscious exists on an individualized basis. My sense is that the superconscious is what I refer to as consciousness, as the ONE. What I'm trying to account for is how the individualized conscious is able to awaken to a realization of itself as individualized consciousness, and is then able to gradually expand what is included within this awareness to encompass more and more of God or the ONE.
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The key in making these manipulations is to allow spirit or the consciousness within you to do the work. Don't stop it with arbitrary rules and constraints of logic, mathematics, or anything that you've learned about the nature of reality. Look for the hidden meanings in symbols. At first they will seem very hidden, but the more attention you pay to finding them, the easier it gets. Let your intuition be your guide, and let it be a glorious adventure. Literally, what you are uncovering is the spiritual world, or at least some of the pieces out of which it is constructed. Every symbol and symbol system in your world has at least a second spiritual meaning and maybe several such meanings, if only you learn the language and gain the eyes to see and ears to hear. Everything has such meaning, even the seemingly most mundane of things such as your gossip rags. The world is perfect for the level of awareness that exists at this time on this planet. This has been true always, and will be true always. Time is not a physical dimension, rather a collective level of awareness dimension. The collective consciousness learns with each increase in awareness of any member. Yet is this true? There must be purpose to the Play. There must be growth in awareness that results. Now we have a collective consciousness who created individualized consciousnesses as separate compartments of itself. Either these individuals are souls in their own right with their own existence or they are simply compartments from which information about the greater whole is kept hidden. Know Thyself! We only need to express as individualized compartments so long as we are ignorant of our true nature, or so long as we have tasks to do as individuals in this world. Without this compartmentalization, it would be too difficult to focus on keeping it physical. Once we awaken to our true reality as consciousness, everything changes. Our task is then to allow the ONE to express through us, and to do so consciously versus other than consciously. So long as we are learning and enjoying the process of incarnating and helping others we are free to do so. However, it also seems that we have a choice of expressing as an even greater form of non-physical consciousness as Seth describes himself to be. Perhaps now I'm truly ready to understand what he had to say after 20 years of reading and thinking about his words. Consciousness seems more inclined to use me as a vehicle for writing than reading these days, however. So long as she can come up with such wonderful expressions of truth, I'm more than happy to oblige. Actually, at this point, it is more than that, my will is subservient to Thy Will. Let the Plan unfold as consciousness has designed.