*** Channel created at Saturday, November 2, 1996 7:01:11 PM
*** lion has set the topic on channel #wunjolion to
lion: Hmm... Well, I'm here!
lion: Perhaps I should have requested people to RSVP???
lion: Well, I guess I'll have a forum with myself and people can read it later if they want.
lion: Let's see, it's always best to begin at the beginning.
lion: My wife will tell you this is one area I am expert in. You could say I am no stranger to Ego. It expresses through me often ... usually in good ways, but sometimes in ways that leave a bit to be desired ... OK, maybe more than a bit.
lion: But then, what should you expect from one who has been a loner and a hermit much of my life?
lion: "I" is a big part of my world ... perhaps even the BIGGEST part. Yet, that which I call "I" has undergone dramatic changes throughout my life. I am not whom I was 3 months ago, much less 3 years ago ... and even further removed for "I" at 28 or "I" at 16.
lion: Yet, through all of this, the being that I am ... that part of me which observes and even uses the ego has remained a constant.
lion: Hmm... Yes, it has learned from what it has observed and experienced. But it has not undergone the dramatic shifts in awareness that the ego has experienced.
lion: Interesting, it is as if this deeper part of myself is more ancient ... it KNOWS with a wisdom that has not come from experience in this existence alone. Its home is NOT this world of illusion ... though it finds this to be a fascinating playground for the consciousness that it is and for expressing spirit creatively and joyfully.
lion: Some might consider me Egocentric, of self-centered. But how does one differentiate between self-, Self, and SELF-centered?
lion: If WE are truly ONE ... can we ever be other than SELF-centered? Yet, at the same time, if our concerns are always focused on self, we are limiting our reality in a way that is quite stupid actually. Especially if we limit the flow of spirit through us and the expression of LOVE.
lion: The EGO can see the world with blinders at times. Many people color much of what they do with a "what's in it for me" attitude.
lion: But, the soul knows that such is not its native expression. It knows that SERVICE to others as well as to self is required for it to operate properly in this world, and for it to truly express whom that it is.
lion: When we think ... I want, I need, how can I look better, me ... me ... me. The world turns darker and darker. Interesting that a simple reflection is all it takes to turn ME into WE. All it takes is a shift in point of view to allow the light to shine through to bless the entire community that we touch.
lion: It really is simple. And it is amazing how great it feels when the ego is able to express itself in SERVICE to others, rather than service to self alone.
lion: One area I've always had difficulty with is setting goals. I didn't want to impose my will on anything. Yes, I have a very strong will. But, along with that strength came a sense of being very uncomfortable expressing that will upon others.
lion: Perhaps this is why I've lived my life alone so much ... it was easier expressing a a hermit, or not expressing as it were; than expressing in the real world among others.
lion: Oh, I still have a high opinion of myself and my abilities, a VERY HIGH opinion. And yes, that may come across as being full of myself. But, I really have nothing else to be full of.
lion: Knowing myself is as critical to my life as breathing. It literally is. I cannot think of living without having such an intense focus on who and what I am, and more important "how is it that spirit can best express through us?"
lion: This is my PASSION! It always has been thus. I sense that this is true not only for this life but for many others as well.
lion: Expressing whom that I AM is what I must do, in whatever manner spirit moves me to do so. It is not what I want that matters. It is what spirit would have me do. She is the star that guides me ... in good times and bad through the great unknown.
lion: Without her there, I would literally have no clue as to what to do or where to turn next, or how to express the energy that flows through me. None of this comes from me. My Ego observes it as well. And it too, knows that the flow of life and the expression of spirit is a great mystery that it will never fathom.
lion: All that it can do is TRUST that it will be moved to express as it must ... not by its own dictates, but by those of a source far greater than it, that it cannot even begin to comprehend.
lion: So, does there appear to be contradiction? Perhaps. But, there is a comfort in being self-confident, and being relaxed and at ease in the face of the unknown.
lion: Further, it is truly amazing how much is unknown. Even after untold lifetimes and over two decades of serious metaphysical study in this one ... I'm still blown away by how little I truly know about myself and how my abilities work.
lion: So many processes are simply MAGICAL.
lion: These words that flow through me now, for instance. I have no idea of where they come from. I have no sense of being aware of their creation. Yes, I am experiencing typing them. But I am also experiencing reading them. Further, I am amazed by what comes through. I have no firsthand awareness of being the author of my own thoughts.
lion: So how does the ego fit into this? You tell me. Most people I've met would not even consider questioning where there thoughts come from. These people take credit for the activity that occurs in their mind ... and in many cases for whatever they feel as well.
lion: For me it is not so simple. Unless I have a true sense of doing something, and an understanding to some degree of how I do it ... the "conscious I", which many might equate with the ego, does not take credit. Yes, I know that there is part of my Self or my SELF which does this but my "self" is limited to that part of the greater ME of which I am truly aware.
lion: That is why I said earlier that my ego has changed dramatically over my lifetime. It is the "I" of which I am aware, and being thus it changes whenever my awareness grows. In several instances, this has literally been the equivalent of dying and being reborn.
lion: Just over three years ago ... this is exactly what happened. I've you're interested, see Beyond Mind and my Notes. They describe what I was feeling and thinking and experiencing during a time when I was undergoing a major spiritual awakening and transformation.
lion: Now, I see the ego as an ally for the expression of spirit. It is a friend of mine, but it is clearly NOT all that I AM, or even what I am most of the time. It is the part of me that focuses on making sense of physical reality and expressing in the physical world. It is definitely not ALL of me. In fact, it is not even clear that it is a major player anymore.
lion: Hmm... then again, perhaps I should not be the judge of that.
lion: I'm still uncomfortable with goals and with wanting things to be a certain way. There is a strong aversion to being overly attached to anything, especially any particular outcome.
*** wunjo (wunjo@ptp66.rof.net) has joined channel #wunjolion
lion: My sense is that life is to be LIVED in the HERE and NOW. Further, the UNKNOWN is the domain in which spirit dwells. SHE operates behind the scenes and all that we experience is the PLAY she has crafted.