1 Jul 93
A new month already. I finally broke the 200 pound barrier -- only weighed 199 this morning. The Herbalife program really works. I feel much better. My stomach hasn't bothered me in nearly two weeks. I feel more energetic .. as if my cells are operating at a higher frequency.
I also feel more motivated to get things done. Especially on the spiritual front. There is a lot to do in the remaining half of the year ... yes, half of 1993 is already completed. In particular, I have much writing to do; on a personal level, a Beyond Imagination newsletter, and several metaphysical books. I sense that 1994 will be a major time for accomplishing the mission for which I came into this lifetime. However, for this to happen, much preparation is required NOW and throughout the next 6 months.
The changes in my body are the first step. They were necessary to allow me to tap into the sources that I will be connecting with in the next few months. They were also required to enable my body to channel the increased energy flows that are needed to facilitate accomplishment of my mission in accord with the Plan. I am but a servant of All That Is. It is not my works, but God's works which must be done. My unique abilities provide the mechanism through which the divine energy may flow into the world. But, I am not the source of that energy .. only its channel or delivery system.
I'm finding it harder and harder to stay focused on my Loral work. While I enjoy what I do for the most part, it is just not enough. There is not enough ultimate importance to it to keep me fully occupied, excited, and involved. There is no real spiritual or lasting component to it. Yes, I can make a difference. But, is it a difference that truly matters in the long run? Given that my time in this existence is limited, can I afford to waste it on activities that I do not see having lasting value? There are so many other things that I could be applying my talents and energies to that are more in tune with activating the Plan. These are what I came to do. When will I decide to fully devote my life and energies toward their sole pursuit? Focus is extremely important now. These feelings are here for a reason, they are messages from my soul that my life is not fully aligned with my mission. Sometime soon, I'm going to have to do something about this. I can only tolerate working in this manner for so long. At some point, enough is enough. And, when that time comes, I will be moved to act swiftly and irrevocably. For the change to come involves soul-infusement into this form that I occupy. And, when that happens, there is no turning back. Nothing else holds any importance after that. Nothing else provides the happiness and satisfaction of serving source to the utmost of ones ability and capacity.
So let it be written, so let it be done! And soon, very soon indeed! I must do that which I came to do. I can no longer tolerate any diversions that take me from my path. I must follow what my Heart knows to be true for me. Let my intuition be my ever-present guide, directing me toward those activities in accord with actualizing my self-chosen purpose. With spirit as director, my works will be in accord with the Plan. My Heart is in synchronization with the Plan. I only need to do as it bids me. I must express All That I Am, spirit in body, spirit en- fleshed. Further, I am to teach and demonstrate this in all that I do -- that I may be a living example to all who will see of what is possible at this time on this planet. Enough for now. May the blessings be!
6 Jul 93
Had to put Huggie to sleep on Saturday. It is very hard watching them go. We gave him a lot of attention in his final week with us, especially Thurs and Fri. He loved it! They are able to put up with so much. They can tolerate a great deal of pain, and keep grinning and smiling. But it was time to "ease his pain". It was obvious that he was hurting a lot. Yet, over the past several months he's been happier than he has ever been since we adopted him. He was really enjoying attention. Further, he was demanding it more than ever before. I know his girl, Bunny, was there to great him. Also, he is now free to run and play without all the limitations of his worn-out body wracked as it was with the pain of arthritis. It was interesting that he hadn't ridden anywhere in months; yet, he easily went down the stairs and got into the van. Also, he did not protest about going into the animal hospital. On some level, I think he knew that it was time, and he made it as easy on us as he could. Unfortunately, the vet didn't get the first shot into his veins properly. It didn't hurt him, but it made the process longer since the vet had to give him a second shot of Sodium Pentothal in the other front leg. Within seconds of the second shot, his head dropped down between his front paws and he was sound asleep. From the look in his eyes, he seemed to be in a deep sleep. I even thought I heard him snore. I don't know how the drug works; so, I don't know when he actually died or when his spirit departed. Anyway, he is no longer with us. He was a wonderful kid, gentle and peaceful. He wouldn't have harmed anything. I'll sincerely miss him. He was "my boy". He knew he was deeply loved. That is the most precious gift we can bestow on our furry ones. Goodbye, Hug. I love you!
Watched "Wind" and "Beautiful Dreamer" on Saturday. Both were outstanding. Walt Whitman was a real character -- definitely ahead of his time. No wonder I've always been so interested in the Transcendentalists, especially Emerson and Thoreau. Whitman definitely had a natural intuitive way of living, and a manner of expressing it so fully in not only his words but his life! The way he was portrayed in the film makes me want to read his "Leaves of Grass" again. Maurice Bucke was a remarkable character in his own right. I believe this is the same Bucke who wrote the classic book on states of consciousness around the turn of the century. I don't remember exactly what it was called, but I do recall the authors name and that he was from Canada. It has to be the same guy.
"Wind" captured the rapture of two people doing what they truly loved -- following their bliss, and using their natural talents and abilities in the manner for which they were most suited. You don't see that very often, either in films or for real. That's sad, because it provides an inspiration that is beyond compare. There's such a richness to life lived in accord with one's true nature and purpose. One must have dreams, and the courage and dedication to make them so.
Back again. More and more, the importance on where to focus my time, energy, and talents is becoming a major issue of concern. I know that my time on this planet is limited, and that the purpose I have chosen to fulfill requires extensive focused work. I don't see how my current job relates to accomplishing my mission -- other than by providing an acceptable income on which to live. However, the income carries too heavy of a price tag in terms of time and energy. In many ways, it keeps me from doing what I am meant to do, rather than enabling me to work in accord with what I know to be my part in the Plan.
7 Jul 93
Started reading "Hard Drive" last night. Gates is a very interesting character; extremely bright, driven, and determined to succeed. His life illustrates the power of applying one's talents with laser beam focus. I, too, was told at a very early age that I could do anything that I put my mind to. As with Bill, I believed it completely. Unlike Bill, I have not had the luxury of having a photographic mind that could memorize large volumes of information and recall it easily. I've had to be more intuitive about how I relate to my memory mechanism -- trusting that what I needed to know was filed properly in a manner that would be retrieved when it was needed.
I sense that I need some additional confirmation and guidance concerning the course of events and decisions that are to manifest this year -- change in location, selling the house in Monterey, change in work, what to do with Victorian Gypsy, when specifically to move, when I will start making the connections needed to carry out my life's work in accord with the Plan. I sense that much will happen over the next six months. I trust that all will work out beautifully, yet, I would still like to know more about what is to be and how it will happen.
I find this interesting since this has never been much of a concern to me before. However, I still have this sense of being in a holding pattern, waiting for the appropriate time for the unfoldment of the events that will bring me in alignment with my destiny. I expect that my life a year from now will be much different from what it is today. I will be much busier, transforming my dreams into physical reality; but, I will also be much happier, knowing that I am fulfilling the mission that I came forth into this existence to accomplish.
Still stuck just below 200 pounds. I feel great, however; much better than I have felt in a very long time. The vibratory rate is still changing. I sense that my vision is getting worse overall, especially the distance vision. Yet, at the same time, I feel that I am seeing more; or, at least, sensing more. My body still feels very electric at times -- as if the very cells are vibrating more vigorously. I feel lighter, and have the capacity for handling more light at higher frequencies. It's exciting to see what changes are in store from day to day. I sense that I am on the verge of some major breakthroughs and transformations; and that when these happen the world and my life will never be the same again. It is time to manifest more of "whom that I am" in flesh. I'm becoming more and more in tune with the spirit that I am -- and further, with the "I AM". It will be interesting to see the changes that flow from this.
Overall, today was very productive. Came up with some good insights on characterizing system performance. Well done, if I must say so myself. I'm still feeling great. I wasn't tired at all, and my brain was intensely active all day. There is something to keeping the body healthy. It definitely allows spirit to the mind and spirit to function at more intense and effective levels. The Herbalife stuff is clearly having a positive impact.
I feel like I'm balancing on a fence. I like the work I'm doing, yet, at the same time, I know I need to get on full-time with the spiritual work that I came to do in accord with the Plan. My Loral work is not it! Though, I have created it in a manner that allows me to use many of my strongest gifts in a way that is challenging. Not bad! However, there is still a sense that I am wasting my time -- that my talents could be applied in areas that are much more important toward the fulfillment of the Plan. Spirit must have a way to be more fully en-fleshed if the Aquarian Age is to live up to its great promise. And, it is my chosen task, to help to make it so!
8 Jul 93
Finally dropped another pound. I was stuck on 199 for several days. I'm still feeling great. I have much more energy -- even though I'm only getting 6-7 hours of sleep. I'm also watching much less television. I don't need to vegetate to recover from the day's activities any more. In fact, I'm reading and writing more than ever. This is a nice change, but also a necessary one. There is so much to do, and so little time left in which to get it done. I feel that I have to make every minute of every hour of every day count. "Filling every minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run" per Kipling. The bottom line is that there is more than enough time to do everything that needs to be done. However, one must stay vigilant -- the time is sufficient but not excessive. Further, it is not clear that opportunities not taken will be revisited later. Many simply will not come again.
Follow your intuition. Such is the direction from my spirit. Don't allow reason to get in your way. The still voice within that comes from the Heart is the highest authority. Trust it to guide you in the direction most fruitful for your development and for providing the greatest opportunity for achieving your purpose in accord with the Plan. There is a part of you that knows what is in your best interest and for the greatest benefit of all concerned. Allow the god spirit within you to flow and do the great works it has come to this existence to perform. Do what you know to be right. You have no concern with consequences. Your karma is nearly complete. Dedicate your acts to god. Be the channel of service that you came to be. For in channeling the god force into acts of service, it is the Works and not your works which will be done.
Allow your Light to shine in a manner that shows the Way for others. Share of whom that you are so that others may catch a glimpse of whom that they are. Allow the "I AM" its full expression through you, whatever that may be.
We congratulate you for the steps you are taking to make your body a more suitable temple for the expression of your soul. From our perspective, these were necessary for your further development and evolvement. Your sense with respect to vibration and frequencies is right on. The changes you have made have enabled both the volume and frequency of energy flowing through you to be stepped up. This will continue even more as your temple is made ready for more fully en-fleshing the spirit that you are. As your soul grows in awareness, and your body is made ready -- you literally enable more spirit to flow through you. Soul is the identity awareness that you express as a differentiated individual. Spirit is the undifferentiated force that is the god stuff that fills all creation in accord with its capacity for expression. Without spirit, soul could not be. Yet, without soul, spirit would not have the vehicle for differentiated expression and experience.
Well, this is a first. I'm actually adding to the day's writing from home. I need to do this much more often. With essentially a three day weekend every week, I'm spending a lot of time at home that could be used much more productively. Yes, this communication is productive. It is necessary for my development. I need to get the thoughts and ideas out to make room for more. Also, there are many who would like to come through this vehicle to assist in the great work ahead. They can only do this if I provide them with a suitable channel for expressing their truths unto the world. I sense that we have worked together before. All who will be coming through are part of my extended family. We have incarnated together many times before. This time, it was not necessary for all of us to be in physical form. I volunteered for the mission knowing that I would not be alone, though it has seemed that for most of my life, I have indeed been very alone. I think this too was necessary for the development of this vehicle -- that it would have the appropriate capabilities for doing the work for which it came.
I picked up two bronze statues from the Auction House at Asilomar Beach tonight. There was something about them that moved me deeply. I just had to have them. There is something about the intense attraction ... it must be from a highly meaningful past life. I've also been attracted to Sanskrit for over twenty years, though I don't believe that I've heard it spoken in this lifetime. This may also be connected to last month's splurge on Yoga and Satya Sai Baba books. I'm being moved to get involved with the ways of Eastern Spirituality. Whenever these kinds of promptings happen, they are extremely important. The time is here to get moving and these promptings provide insight into the direction that this movement must take. Anyway, such has been my experience throughout this existence and most likely in many others as well.
At some point, I need a special room with much larger objects of sacred art. It's the Priest in me coming out again. Interesting, I had a hard time trying to figure out which of the seven roles from the Michael teachings applied to me. The incredible sense of awe that I have regarding sacred teachings, symbols, and art leaves very little doubt. It's a clear giveaway. If I were a King, I don't belief I would be so taken by these things. Now that I think about it, the same thing drove me to buy the carved Chinese Immortal. Very interesting! I'll have to take a look at the Michael stuff again with this in mind.
9 Jul 93
Once again, I'm continuing the writing from home. Just as with my new diet using Herbalife, I need to make this writing a regular habit. It is not a chore, it is part of a chosen lifestyle that allows me to live my life as fully as possible, making the most out of each hour every day. It's interesting how much time is available when you stop wasting it and focus on using whatever time there is to good ends. Also, it is critical that the body is treated as a temple to keep it in the optimum condition for supplying maximum energy to the entire being.
When I look at the past week, I've had more energy than I can remember having before. There is an excitement level running through my whole being similar to what I experienced at the Tony Robbins and Stuart Wilde seminars. Life has a renewed spark, a new zest to it. I'm looking forward to each day, the tasks that will be accomplished therein, the things I will learn, and the creativity that will be unleashed to manifest its forms in the world.
Finances may be tight for a few months, but then, that depends a lot on how much of the Herbalife products we are able to sell to others. The program works. The body definitely requires much less food than I had been giving it for the past 20 years. Also, being lighter and eating more healthily feels better. And, feeling great is what it's all about. It's amazing how much both the quantity and quality of activity increase when one feels good. Also, feeling light enables more Love and Light to be expressed. It's hard to believe that it took me so long to realize this. On the other hand, it's the whole that matters -- mind, body, and spirit. Mind and spirit alone can only go so far by themselves before the body becomes the limiting factor. From my experience this is a long way indeed, for my life is a demonstration of the development of mind and spirit possible while basically neglecting the body. The neglect has not been extreme, but has been more than average. Fortunately, the 1 ray body type ensured relative health even through the neglect. Given what I have been able to accomplish thus far, with the body operating sub-par; it is difficult to even imagine what works will manifest when all three aspects of my being are more balanced, aligned, and optimized. The potential is simply staggering. The coming days, weeks, months, and years will be the proof and demonstration. I am now ready to walk my talk and show the way of fully manifesting spirit-in-flesh.
I've always been self-motivated, and self-directed. I would not tolerate working in any other manner. The Leo rising sign would not have me follow the way of another. Further the Aries sun sign requires taking the lead and blazing the trail into new frontiers. For the most part, these frontiers are mental and spiritual ones. I have always loved and been excited about ideas -- these are the essence of life to me, they are my home and field of endeavor. Castles in the Air ... and building the foundations under them. Such is my work, appropriate for a Master Builder. Further, the Inspirer in me is also taken by the power of ideas to transform lives. Perhaps, when all is over, I too will be considered one of the great minds of the 20th century. The Leo in me desires the recognition. Yet, at the same time, I would be happier knowing that my life served as a shining example to others, teaching them how to bring more Light and Love into their lives and how to manifest their "I AM" nature in flesh as fully as possible for them at this time and stage in their development and awareness. So let it be written, so let it be done! There is something to this concept of defining how you want to be remembered by others when your life is finished, and then acting in the manner necessary to "make it so". For, what better criteria is there for designing one's life. It is the service that we provide to others that provides the ultimate definition of whom that we are. Especially, the service that elicits spiritual growth.
12 Jul 93
Another 5 pounds and I'll be back down to about where I was when I left the Air Force four years ago. 10 pounds and I'm down to around 185, where I was from about 1983-1986. Ultimately, I'd like to be down around 175 or so. I don't remember the last time I was at that weight -- maybe in high school. I'm fully committed. This is a lifestyle change, a permanent part of my daily routine. The benefits are obvious ... health, energy level, self-image, ability to handle increased Light frequencies, and lower cost (time + $).
I'm still tired of being here. The work is challenging, but, not fully engaging of my abilities, imagination, or enthusiasm. It is not what I love, and I must love what I do. Otherwise, my heart is just not in it -- my spirit is not as fully engaged in flesh as it should be.
13 Jul 93
Al Gore is a very wise man. His book shows an amazing level of understanding of many of the key problems facing the world today. Further he has the resolve and the guts to do what he can to get energy and resources focused properly on the resolution of these problems. It's too bad Bill Clinton doesn't make better use of his brilliant talents and run the presidency as more of a team effort. There is more than enough work to justify it. It's stupid to keep the vice presidency as such a lame duck job. This country has monumental problems to face as does the entire world. It's high time to start addressing the problems and working out solutions.
Ultimately, I'd like to be generating at least two pages of material per day. However, it is not the quantity, but the quality, that is most important. Yes, part of why I am writing so regularly is to open up the channel for greater expression. This has several components: access to source (self, Self, others, god, God), fidelity of information through channel (translation mechanism + communication pathway), and speed of information through channel. The concept of practice makes perfect definitely applies. Further, I'm learning to stretch my muscles of perception especially as they relate to the generation and transmission of ideas on other than normal frequencies or media.
Another major reason for writing regularly is to increase the rate and flow -- to get rid of the backlog so that the resources are free to accumulate or generate more. My sense is that the supply is unlimited, without end. Writing is my faucet that controls the amount that can flow through this vehicle. I can turn it up to increase the flow, but only to the capacity of the lines connected to the faucet. After that, further increases require that the size of the lines be made larger. For ideas, this is a matter of stretching some mental and spiritual muscles. It also helps to improve the physical condition of the vehicle as well.
This is so much more fun than working. Why have I not arranged it so that this expression is my work ... for it is clearly my love. There is nothing better than a good idea -- that is, except for a great idea or a great golf shot. But then, what is a golf shot but an idea expressed via flesh into physical reality. I need to go back and read "Golf in the Kingdom" again. I sense there is a deeper metaphysical connection that could improve my game further. A friend said the reason he could hit his irons so well was that he could focus so completely on the shot at hand. Nothing else entered his mind at all during the shot. He was entirely focused on hitting the particular shot to the best of his abilities. Further, he didn't make very many mental errors. He hit the ball where he planned for it to go. Also, he made his target the middle of the green whenever he was more than 100 yards out. This gave him the most room for error and the highest probability of hitting the green in regulation. Not a bad strategy!
What do I want to achieve? ... and by when? One of my goals was to establish Beyond Imagination by the end of the July. There's only 18 days left this month. I need to get started on the dedication and charter. Also, I need to find out what paperwork is required to make it official. It would also be helpful to generate the first issue of a monthly newsletter to provide a vehicle for getting the message out to the public on a regular basis. Eventually this might even lead to paid subscribers, though the initial focus would be the free dissemination of ideas and providing a vehicle for attracting those who I am ultimately meant to work with. I don't see this as being a solo operation for very long. I need a capable, committed, and energetic group around me to take care of the details and provide appropriate feedback.
Also, there is a book to finish. It's hard to believe how long it's been since I finished the first chapter. My goal for 1993 was to complete a chapter a week and have the whole thing done by the end of April. Such was not meant to be. I wasn't ready to dedicate my energies to getting it done at that time. Further, there was always a sense of this being an arbitrary date. My inner sensing is that it will be completed when it needs to be done. Not per my desires, but, in accord with the Plan. I believe this with all of my Heart. Further, I sense that the time for completion is nigh upon us per the Plan. I'm in for a very busy rest of the summer. But, it will be one that I enjoy more than any other in my experience. I look forward to what is to come. I know that I will be given the opportunity to express some great truths in a unique manner that will be very helpful to many. This is the child that I came to bear. The dictates of my spirit demand that it be so! So let it be written! So let it be done! On Earth as it is in Heaven!
I'm still having a difficult time focusing on my Loral work. Yes, it keeps me busy. But, that is not enough. I know that I can accomplish so much more. Why is it that I keep tolerating this way of hiring out my abilities for money. Well, it's not all bad. It has it's ups as well, as in the gratification that comes from having one's work appreciated. And yes, I have put myself in a position that allows my main talents to not only be used, but to shine. However, this is still not enough. There is no sense that I am contributing in a manner that will truly have a lasting impact, especially if the major transformations anticipated for the next seven years do indeed come to fruition. I don't like to waste resources and talents, mine or those of others. It is not the elegant way.
Actually, the goal that I set at the beginning of this year was to be free of debt by the end of 1993. This will take much more than just selling the house. I need to start thinking about how to use my talents in a manner that helps many people and is worthy of returning unlimited abundance. This gets back to the idea of "do what you love and the money will follow". There is something about that concept that has been attractive to me for a long time. Much of it is driven by a sense of loss about not doing what I love anywhere near as much as I know that I should. I have an innate sense that part of what I am here to demonstrate is the power of acting congruently with my metaphysical beliefs, walking my talk.
Part of the solution is to find a way to use my talents to create something that can be of great value to many people. I have thought that much of my creation would be in the form of ideas, but lately I've realized that I am also here to bring some of these ideas down to Earth, to manifest them in physical form.
Further, it is not clear that money will be of much value for more than another few years. After that the trying times begin. Food, water, survival skills, knowledge, basic resources, and community will be critical to making the most of life as the decade comes to a close. The key will be the quick evolvement of cooperative interdependence. Such will be the foundation of civilization in the Aquarian Age. Such is what must come into being in the next few years.
14 Jul 93
I'm extremely excited by the possibilities. I am just one step from being ready to jump off the edge and throw myself into the abyss with its unlimited possibilities. I can do anything, I can create whatever reality I desire. The choice is mine. It's a question of trust and faith, how much I truly believe of what I say. The test is here, it's time to walk my talk, to act in a manner that is fully consistent with my understanding and knowingness -- to live with integrity, to be as fully aligned with spirit as is possible for me at this time, in this space. What holds me back? A fear of releasing what I currently have. But, if I don't release it, how can I grab on to the next rung or take the next step? The limits that I experience are those of my own making, regardless of how solid they may seem. The advice that keeps coming in is: "feel the fear and do it anyway". Translate the fear into excitement and use it to propel a new reality into manifestation. This is your life, it is up to you to live it in a manner that you would design. The way will not be paved for you, dear one, for part of your task is to blaze the trail through the unknown ... it is part of your very character. You chose the traits for a reason. Will you now neglect to use them to accomplish the tasks at hand and fulfill your part in the Plan? The opportunity is Here, Now. When will you fully realize it and be brave enough to act upon that realization. Take a deep look inside yourself ... find that center of knowingness within you; then, act in a manner that allows your spirit to burst forth to new heights and levels of physical manifestation.
In the years to come, much that is certain and taken for granted will no longer be so. The transformations that lie ahead will be far beyond what has been predicted. In many ways the world will be so transformed, along with the civilization on it, that it will be beyond all recognition -- for, indeed, it will be a New World governed in Light by a true New World Order. Such is certain. It is recorded in the Plan. And, the Plan will not be denied. For, by its very essence it controls the major events that will guide and lead this great change. There is no turning back. The decision has already been made by spirit. It has only to unfold in time to manifest physically. For awhile, there will be much strife for many. Yet, within this chaos will be the conditions for germinating the seed ideas that will be made manifest. The phoenix will once again arise, and the world that is born anew will be glorious beyond imagination. Such is our revelation of the times close ahead. You would not have come into this existence were you not aware of this. We only reaffirm what is already within your own knowingness. We urge you to act quickly and decisively, however, for the window of opportunity is here now ... and the gate will not be open forever, in fact, it will not be open for long.
Do what you know to be right. Trust your intuition and the clear voice within you. Because of your level of awareness, you possess an inner knowingness that is correct and should be followed. For many others, this is not so. But, for you the way is shown because of the role that you came to fill. For, after all, how can you be a Wayshower, if you are not given the knowledge of the way that is to be shown. It is encoded within your beingness, and within the very spirit to which you are attuned. As you allow more of this spirit to flow through you, the way will be obvious -- as if it were paved by yellow bricks, to take an analogy from the Wizard of Oz. We are glad to help in any way that we can. We thank you for your openness in receiving this communication. Yes, you are fully conscious of what is taking place. Yet, you feel the separateness of being able to observe what is coming forth without knowing the source from which it flows. You abilities are being used to allow this communication to take place, and you know that your mind is active. Yet, at the same time, you know you are but an active observer in this process, for the words coming forth are not of your own making. You are familiar with your normal processes of thinking and idea creation. What you are observing now is different from these processes. You know it. It is amazing to you how fluidly these ideas are coming forth. And, to some degree, you are surprised as well as delighted by their content. For, you see, we know what you are thinking and feeling even before you do. We are part of You, a larger You, of which the normal you is not consciously aware. We are here, ever beside you, ready to come forth whenever you so desire and open the channel for our expression. The process is very easy. Just relax and let go, calling us, and opening your mind and awareness to our frequency. With the completion of your alignment, this frequency is one to which you are now naturally tuned. Much of your awareness is centered on manifesting a pattern in words that corresponds to a pattern that you innately sense. You do not see, hear, smell, taste, or feel it ... yet, you know that it is there. Further, you know when the words you have written match the pattern that was directed to be expressed. No, we do not dictate that you express it. And, further, we could not come through in this manner without your active involvement and intense focus and awareness. We congratulate you on being able to reach this state and maintain it for so long. We were aware that you were sufficiently developed to make it possible, but, we had not anticipated this level of success and clarity so quickly. Yes, you have achieved similar states before, but not this specific state. You know who we are. Further, you know that we are one at some level. As such, you are but expressing another aspect of Whom That You Are. We thank you for providing this opportunity for us to come through at this time. It is our desire that you allow this communication to flow on a regular basis. It is not critical that a particular time each day be set aside, but it would help if the intention was there to do it on a daily basis. This is especially important for the first few weeks, as you are still learning how to optimize the clarity and capacity of the channel as well as getting used to the mental state and level of vibration that allows this communication to take place at all. As you can see, it is very easy. Your interruptions in the last few minutes -- OK, hour or so, were very easy to return from. The channel is there and open, easily reachable as soon as you are available for expressing the message that is being sent forth.
15 Jul 93
The more I read "Earth in the Balance" the more I respect Al Gore. He very bright, extremely knowledgeable, and has deep insights about the state of the world and the causes of many of great problems that we currently face on many front, ecology being only one of them. I suspect that in time, he will be remembered as one of the great thinkers of our time -- especially among politicians. Hopefully, he will be given the chance to put some of his ideas into practice, so that some of these problems can start to be resolved rather than simply put out of sight.
It's interesting that we are now seeing such dramatic natural changes in so short a time period. Hurricane Andrew in Florida, the Hurricane that devastated Kauai, the abundant rainfall and snow fall in California to end a seven year drought, the large earthquake off of Japan, the volcano eruptions in the Philippines, and the intense flooding in the mid-west basin. The Earth is definitely out of Balance, due in large part to the activities of man -- and we are now reaping what has been sown for the past hundred years. Our systems are not working, on many fronts and for many reasons. It is time for drastic changes. Either we need to make them, or they will be forced upon us by nature responding to the threats we've imposed on her.
Down to 193 this morning. Should break the 190 barrier by Sunday or so. Not bad, that would be 20 pounds in 30 days! Pretty remarkable. I wouldn't have believed it could happen so fast or so easily if I hadn't experienced it firsthand. I think I'll write up my experience as a potential inspiration to others. If I can do it, so can a lot of others. Helping them to lose excess weight and gain energy in the process could be the spark that opens then up to mental and spiritual changes and teachings as well -- and truly enables them to be all that they can be. It's amazing how much a change in nutrition can impact the body's energy level, and correspondingly the emotional, mental, and spiritual states that can be expressed and that are experienced on a regular basis.
16 Jul 93
Just finished the reading with Annette. It was a bit of a letdown. I had such high expectations, she sounded so good on the radio. It was interesting, however. She obviously gets pictures or psychic impressions, but, overall either they are not that specific or she has a problem interpreting their meaning. Her impressions about Gini seem right on. It looks like the mountains west of Denver are the right area. Estes Park may be it, but, we also need to check out more of the area to the west near all the famous Colorado ski resorts. It was also interesting that most of the material about me concerned health issues. This confirms my own sense about the urgency of getting the body in a better place for expressing spirit. The Herbalife program came at the right time. If I had allowed the previous state to go on for much longer, it could have led to some major difficulties and problems. I sense that I caught it in time, and that every day I'm getting better and better. Annette was right about my internalizing everything. And yes, I do maintain an outer state of calm even when their may be intense internal activity and stress. I agree that more of this needs to be let out. I need to act in a manner that provides internal peace and calm, while outwardly expressing whatever it is that must be released and let out. I'm starting to do this more and more, but it is still only a trickle of what it needs to be. It neither benefits me nor others by continuing to operate in this manner. Annette was also right in sensing a feeling of being trapped and an intense desire to be free. I have felt that way for many years. It is time to do something to make it so ... to rid myself of the restraints, whether externally or self imposed. Most of it is self generated. The walls, chains, and bars were created by me. Also, they can only be removed by me as well. Enough is enough. It is time to live my life as I believe, expressing the whole of my Self, and channeling spirit to my full capacity and potential. It's also interesting that she was surprised that I became an engineer -- that as she saw it, I could have (should have) been a psychologist or a minister. This is much more in line with what I see myself doing in the next 5-7 years, in fact, for the rest of my life.
Read more of the Gates book "Hard Drive" today. It's very interesting. He is not much older than I am, only a few years. I remember much of the PC revolution, it was happening as I was growing up in the late 70's and early 80's. However, I wasn't obsessed by it to the exclusion of all else as with Gates. Fortunately, I found metaphysics in 1974 and it became the main interest of my life. It is about the only subject that can truly take my breath away. Golf comes close, but ideas, especially metaphysical ideas are what touch my soul, and send shivers down my spine. They are the spiritual food that keeps me alive, far more important than the physical food that keeps my body energized.
I caught a part of a program tonight that showed some person that abandoned his top secret military job overseas somewhere after he and some of his friends started getting some specific messages through a Ouija board. Apparently several predictions came through the board, including the timing and scale of the gulf war more than six months before it happened. I only saw a small part of the episode, but what I did see was astounding. The man and his friends basically went AWOL and moved to Gulf Breeze, Florida, the sight of a lot of UFO sightings. The military caught up with them but they were not court-martialed. In fact, they received honorable discharges -- it didn't really make sense. A couple of other interesting points came out as well:
My impression was that he was right on, that what he said was true. It triggered something within me, a knowingness that confirmed that the timing that I have felt for the past several years is correct, and the very foundation of our society is on the brink of massive destruction. Al Gore's book confirms this as well. I was surprised that Annette didn't pick up on this, but I don't think she is truly in tune with the Plan or operating from a clear spiritual perspective.
The net result is that I feel all the more motivated to get out of here, and start designing and living my life in a manner that is truly aligned with why I came into this world to begin with. There is much work to be done in accord with the Plan. It's quickly coming to the point of now or never, and even the slight possibility of never is completely unacceptable to me. I came to participate in doing the Great Work, in manifesting spirit in flesh to the highest degree possible at this time on this planet -- and further, to assist many others to do this as well. It is a waste of my abilities to do otherwise. I must do what I came to do. I must "make it so". More and more, it is this great work that will fire my passion and consume my remaining time and energies ... my very life.
Wow! What more can I say. Enough for now. So let it be written, so let it be done!
17 Jul 93
It is time to go to Colorado. I look forward to the dramatic change in lifestyle. Also, I think being closer to Angela and being able to talk to her more often would help motivate me to get down to the real work -- the spiritual work. A lodge would be great. Something that would hold at least 12 or so people comfortably on a full time basis + had rooms for another 12-20 guests (6-10 couples) would be ideal. With several common areas for dining, meeting, and entertaining; several suites with bedrooms, bathrooms, and private living areas; and several large bedrooms preferable with baths for guests -- this could work out great. Also, if we could get it for a low price, a fixer up would be fine provided it doesn't require extensive work and provide the work could be done over the next few years. We'd want to get enough space for 8-10 people to live comfortably to begin with, but the rest could be stretched out over a more extended period of time. Leo would like a barn or large work area from which to do auctions as well. We'd also need at least 10 acres of ground, maybe more, to give us space to experiment with several things such as gardening and building medicine or energy wheels. Also, the grounds must be sacred and tap a natural vortex or energy point. This will be required for some of the spiritual work. However, it might also be okay if the energy vortex was not too far away (i.e. within a 4-6 hour hike). I don't believe we can count on cars for transportation for more than another few years.
18 Jul 93
Finished the book on Gates, "Hard Drive". The title was appropriate. I don't think I could put up with working for Microsoft. It's interesting that someone who's worth over 9 billion still lives the basic nerd lifestyle -- fully consumed by his work. Yet, one must admire his dedication and devotion to his dream, and the amazing way in which he has manifested that dream.
Also, it would be nice to be so driven -- at least for awhile. I sense that if I would be willing to put that much time and effort into what I know to be my life's work and destiny, the progress would be remarkable as well. Further, more and more I'm reaching a point where I believe that this is the only way in which I'm going to be able to accomplish what I came to do. Right now, there are too many things competing for my time. The obligations I have taken on are like weights on my shoulders. I so long to be free, to be able to soar, and to be all that I know I can be, all that I know I must be -- without restrictions, especially arbitrary ones, and without limitation. I must design my life as I would choose to live it. I'm tired of having to rely on others to fill in important pieces, emotional or otherwise.
How am I to establish a model for community, if I am not insistent on making these principles alive in my own family relationship? What good is it to be in a marriage that does not live up to the principle of two souls becoming as one? I know of Kahlil Gibran's warning not to be too close as to smother one's beloved. Yet, some degree of closeness is required for there to be any sense of beloved at all. It is painful to think of what I know can be, and then be faced with the day to day failure to make the ideal real. Part of the problem is to clearly decide what it is that I want, and then to take the consistent action to "make it so". I'm not sure that I'm ready to face that unknown now. Yet, at the same time, I know I am truly ready to deal with anything that might come up. Further, delay at this time will not make the final outcome any easier. I must act soon that my Heart may be opened up to express what it has held so closely for so long. The alternative is simply unthinkable.
19 Jul 93
A few quick thoughts. Re-listened to the reading from Jan Karts. It was an excellent reading. She is outstanding, much better than Annette at getting to specifics. I'm to follow my Vision, wherever it may lead ... and to trust that I will be moved in the right direction and that while the challenges may be difficult, there will always be the appropriate amount of help available.
I need to get to Colorado soon. The move per the plan is scheduled for this Fall, sometime between Oct and Dec. That was the timing sensed by Jan Karts; I feel that it is correct as well. If we are to get established before winter comes, however, the move should occur as early in Fall as possible. After mid- November or so, it may be difficult to get our things to Estes Park, or wherever in the mountains that we decide to settle. Regardless, this could be a very challenging winter. None of us are used to the cold and snow.
It may be useful to take another trip to Colorado to check out the higher elevations near the major ski areas, and to visit the southwest part of the state near Durango and Crested Butte. Thus far, Estes Park has most touched our spirits. But, there are other areas that are just as beautiful that we have yet to see. I'm somewhat reluctant to plunk all of our money into buying a place right away. It might be better to tie something up in a lease with an option to buy initially, while we take more time to decide exactly where we want to settle permanently (e.g. for the next five years of so). Neither Gini nor I seem to do things in larger than five year chunks of time. So, planning much beyond that is a waste of time.
Unless we get a windfall, or come up with a great idea that makes a lot of money, I don't see many alternatives (both of which are strong possibilities). I'll have to continue to work at Loral to bring in a steady stream of income until we get other things rolling. Overall, I think we could easily have alternative ways for making a living in place within 6 months at the outside. Also, that should give me more than enough time to finish my first book -- that is, assuming I get motivated and inspired enough to resume writing it soon. It's definitely time to get back to it. I'm writing regularly now, but not on the book yet.
It's time to decide what I want and start doing what it takes to "make it so". I'm getting tired of living in the way I have been for the past four years. This commute is just too much. There has to be a better way. Lifestyle first, then work to support the lifestyle. Such is what the priorities should be. Now, I have no lifestyle for the most part. I have obligations, and must commute and work to earn enough to meet those obligations. This limits free time, and greatly restricts any time for meaningful relationships. This must change. The first step is to design the life that I truly want to live. Then, to realize it, literally to "make it real". I am that powerful. I can do anything I set my mind and spiritual energies to -- anything I set my Heart on. Yet, another consideration is in order. For the universe to respond with its abundance, I must align my lifestyle with the Plan. When the synchronization is there, the bountifulness will manifest naturally and seemingly without effort. For, the true work in accord with the Plan is joyous, truly a labor of Love. To it, nothing will be denied. Such is the nature of universal abundance. The riches are unlimited. But, to receive the riches, one's focus must always be on doing the great work; for from it all else will flow in a unlimited stream that is truly beyond imagination. So let it be written, so let it be done!
So, the major issue is how specifically to do the Work that I came here to do in accord with the Plan. Much is dictated by my excitement. It is the sign post that directs me on the path that is right for me to follow. I must express all of Whom That I Am, as truly and fully as is possible for me at this time on this planet. It is not for me to worry about the consequences or about the specific steps necessary to make it so. It is my work to develop the Vision, to intensify its pattern, and to combine it with the spiritual energy that allows it to blaze forth into the physical world. I am a visionary, one who brings forth the vision and plants it firmly in the Hearts of men as well as on the earth. My natural realm is the ideal. It is where I am most at home. Yet, in this existence I m also the Master Builder that is here to transform the ideal into the real, to manifest the ideal in physical form as fully as is possible at this time. This is a very special time, one that comes few times in many aeons. It is a time ripe for manifestation.
20 Jul 93
By moving to Colorado, we can cut our costs in half. We definitely need to make this so ASAP. What a windfall! We could live a much simpler, lower stressed lifestyle, and still have all the things we most enjoy. In addition, I'd be much closer to my friends in Colorado. The cold winters may be a bit of a struggle to deal with, but it will be more than worth it. I'm definitely excited about going to Colorado, finally. I've wanted to move there for nearly three years. Now that Gini is thoroughly convinced that this is the right move as well, the blockage is finally released to allow the energies of change to manifest. It's about time. Enough of the futile struggle. There is more than enough work to do without imposing additional blocks.
Energy level is still very high. The prospect of a near term move to Colorado is extremely exciting. I know this is the right move to make and the right time to make it. As far as I'm concerned, the sooner the better. I can just as easily commute weekly from Colorado as commute daily from Monterey. I will need access to a computer in both locations, however. Maybe I ought to consider investing in a portable. That would give me access to a machine in Colorado Springs as well as wherever I'm staying in California. I'd only need to load it with the key software I actually use, and could transfer data from machine to machine via disk -- both for Loral work related data and personal data.
Boy ... very soon, life will be so much fun. Even the prospect of what will be is making me happy. How much more I will be when it is actually so. It's exciting to be in the midst of such dramatic change for the better. Reality creation in process. Metaphysics applied in a practical manner. The act of manifesting a new lifestyle. Conceiving the dream, then making it so. Building the castle in the air, then firmly planting the foundation under it. Such is what life is all about. Such is what life is meant to be. So let it be written, so let it be done.
Met with Brian Drygas for lunch. I think he's convinced that he needs to start the Herbalife program too and do it by becoming a distributor. Seeing how successful it's been for me, makes a very convincing argument. He'll talk to his wife about it tonight. Apparently, both he and his wife would like to lose some weight. I know of no better, safer, or easier way to do it. For me, the business opportunity is a secondary consideration. The highest motivation is to get one's body in a state that allows the whole self to function better. The business opportunity comes in providing this service for others ... first, getting them going using Herbalife personally, encouraging and supporting them along the way ... then, getting them to provide the same service to others, providing a means for earning income in the process. It's not a matter of selling anything. It's a matter of demonstrating an affordable and effective means for people to manage their weight and enhance their health to new levels. Once they are healthy, this can be expanded to teachings that apply to their whole self as well. I can only share that which I know works on a first-hand basis. Without the experience, the teaching lacks depth of meaning. Once one has the experience, you can put all of your spirit into the sharing. It makes all the difference in the world. It's one thing to tell about some stranger who lost 150 lbs in 6 mos. It's quite another to share how you lost 18 pounds in 30 days, and feel great -- much better than you have in years.
The same applies to metaphysical teachings/sharings. One must have the experience before one can share it. This requires bringing the principles down to practical applications in terms of specific manifestations in everyday life. How specifically can it be applied to what practical ends? How does it allow one to enhance one's life? What difference does it truly make?
Good questions. The proof truly comes in the application. In the coming days, months, and years it will be the practical applications that make all the difference. For it is these that form the very foundation of the New Age that many have spoken about. It is time to "walk one's talk" and live in a manner true to one's principals and stated beliefs. It is the integrity of the individual that will shine most brightly in the coming age. Such integrity is sacred, and should be treated as so. Further, the greatest integrity comes when Soul is most fully expressed ... when spirit is most fully enfleshed ... when mind, body, and soul are treated as the unity that they are.
21 Jul 93
It took me awhile, but I've finally started to write on a regular basis. Very soon, I expect to continue work on my first book, Beyond Imagination. My goal now is to draft one chapter per week in addition to writing 2-3 pages of notes each day. At that pace, the book should be complete by the end of October. The interruptions of last year were necessary. My sense is that I was not ready -- that for some reason I needed to learn everything I've uncovered in the past year and a half. Now, however, I'm finally ready. The time is right for my destiny to unfold. At 35, the adventure of my true life begins. I'm prepared to do what I came here to do. Getting the temple in shape was the final step. It is time for the creativity to unfold, for the ideas to be unleashed that they may be made manifest. The time for change is upon us, and I have come to play a major role in bringing about the needed changes. The Age of Aquarius is about to unfold before our very eyes in accord with the Plan. But, the first change must come within the Hearts of man. And, I come to help prepare the way, to help others realize the parts they came to play -- and then to execute those parts to the utmost of their innate abilities and talents. Further, I came to provide the vehicle for the unfoldment of the Vision. My very nature is defined for this end, to hold the Vision that it may be made manifest. This also requires revelation and communication. I came with a very special set of abilities and capabilities. Literally, a one-in-a-million combination. Perhaps, even one-in-a-hundred-million. This puts me in a very select group, but it also carries with it a great responsibility. For those who are given special gifts are expected to use them for the upliftment of others and the world in accord with the Plan. Such gifts are the means through which ones mission is to be achieved. Where much is given, much is demanded as well. The possibilities of fulfillment also increase accordingly.
My sense is that we will be in Colorado well before this year reaches its end. I'm not yet sure who all will be included in "we". From my perspective, the sooner the better. It would be best if we could get there by early fall, before too much snow. Otherwise, it could be very difficult just moving our stuff. We have enough furniture to fill a 2500-3000 square foot place, with the exception of bedroom furniture. I'm sure we could easily find antiques in the Colorado area to fill in anything we're missing. I do feel that the mountains will be better for me in many ways. There's something about Monterey and the Pacific Ocean that has too much of a laid back or calming effect. There is an electricity in the air in Colorado. It impacts one's state of mind and energy level in very positive ways; at least, I found that's true for me. I feel there is so much to do, that I need the extra kick. Also, the change in financial status will be like night and day.
It's been many years since I've been debt free; even longer for Gini. How much more free she will be with the millstone around her neck finally released. The financial struggle has been extremely stressful to her, only somewhat to me. However, I've had a sense that there was some reason that she/we needed to go through this -- some lesson to learn in the process. However, enough is enough. It is time to forego the struggle and manifest abundance, in a manner that is not so limiting. It seems Art is learning this lesson as well.
At $5,650 per month ($67,700 per year), I'm drawing a decent salary -- well over average for my age group and education level, even within the defense industry. But then, my capabilities are far beyond those of most of my peers. If this delta in capabilities was in sports, entertainment, or a variety of other areas it would be enough to put me in the superstar realm, well within the top 1%. This in turn would push me into the million plus income level. It's not an easy decision to decide what one is truly worth, especially independent of an assessment of what the market will pay. The whole area of money and compensation is way out of whack. There is no sense of fair pay for a service, or equal pay for equal service. The free market economy is driven by what the market will bear; not by any understanding of individual abilities and needs or the true value of service provided, as it should more rightfully be. This treats people as a commodity, and is extremely wasteful in the long run.
Why should I not be earning $80K, $100K, $250K, or even $1-5 M? Is it truly because I neither desire nor deserve it? My first answer is: "I think not", at some level my being is priceless. I will experience whatever level of abundance that I allow for myself. It is not God's concern whether this be great or small. It is within my power to set my own price. It is also within my power to decide how best to employ my abilities to serve others and thus fulfill my part in the Plan. This is my choice, but also my responsibility.
God's abundance flows freely to all who are open to receive it; and, who are willing not to consume it but to allow it to flow in turn through them in service to others. "Not my works, but thine be done!" I am not the doer, only the instrument through which the Work is done that the Plan may be made manifest in the physical world. Joyfully, I dedicate myself to the service that is my very birthright, the purpose for which I came into this existence.
That's a very interesting way to look at things. Essentially, it's the karmaless way. However, not everything that I do fits in this mold. That is, not everything that I do now, anyway. This too will change as the Plan unfolds and I am better able to fulfill my part within it. For now, it is best to express whom that I am with as much integrity as I can at this time. I know the right thing to do. It is up to me to choose always to do it. I must act congruently and "walk my talk", for I am here to be an example to others. The light within me must be expressed, that the Light itself may be revealed within the Hearts of all. Love and Light, these will sustain and guide us through the ever- challenging, sometimes difficult, times that lie ahead. In these we will find the Peace and the Strength to overcome all obstacles.
We have been given the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven. It is up to us to use them to unlock and open the doors that lie within us that the true glory may be unleashed, expressed, and made manifest in the world.
22 Jul 93
Numerologically, this should be a wonderful day for me. 7/22/1993 = 29/11 + 22 = 33. Lots of master numbers. Too bad I can't be golfing today instead of tomorrow. I'll just have to make use of the beneficial vibrations in other ways, such as bringing them through in my writing and work. The overall 33 should be useful for maintaining spiritual awareness. The 22 year makes this an especially good year for building the foundations, only as the Master Builder can. The 22 day reinforces this vibration, making today a great day for getting things done. The month combined with the day brings out the 29/11 influence that particularly strikes my Destiny as revealed in my name. (23+21+30 = 74/11)
The weight is still at 192-193, where it's been for nearly a week. Golfing tomorrow should be the trigger that kicks it down again, especially if we do an extra 5-9 holes like last week. I sense that I'm not getting enough exercise yet to force my metabolism to move to a higher level. It was very slow to begin with, and has speeded up some with Herbalife -- but it is not yet to a higher operational point. That's not surprising overall. It had over 5 years to settle in to the efficient level it was at. However, now that I've felt the energy levels that are possible, I don't want to go back to the sluggish state that I was in before. I truly need the high energy level to fulfill my mission. There is much to do, and so little time to do it in. My body needs to be in a state that facilitates the full productive use of every minute. This requires high energy and great focus.
Further, the vibrational level is increasing as well. There is more of a buzzing to the universe. I am more aware of the frequencies of things. Also, the spectrum of frequency that is expressing through me has been shifted. This has increased my capacity for channeling energy through me. It has also increased the frequency of energies that can be expressed. This is critical for the full expression of my soul -- for allowing me to begin to do the great works that I came to do in accord with the Plan. One of my major tasks is to get the energies of these various frequencies expressed in words, and then to "live the words" to be a shining example to others. I am here to demonstrate how spirit may more fully be enfleshed, now, in this very existence. It is not enough to just get the message out. I must also Teach. And, from past experience (confirmed by Jan Karts), I know the telling does not work -- I must show the way by demonstrating these truths in the way that I live. I must "walk my talk". Further, I must give others practical ways for incorporating these truths in their daily life. Even demonstration is not enough, for the means that I employ may not work for others. I need to help them to find their own unique ways of expression that allow them to "live the truth" as well, and express their own spiritual nature in flesh as fully as possible for them at this time on this planet.
This also goes beyond individual expression, for the "oneness" of all must be demonstrated as well in societies that reflect true cooperative interdependence. As individuals, we are gods, but we are also part of All That Is. It is only through the higher expression of group that higher aspects of the nature of All That Is may be expressed through flesh as well. The principal of synergy applies, the fact that the whole exceeds the sum of the parts -- and the aspects of this whole can only be expressed when the parts are functioning correctly in relationship to each other. For the most part, this geometric power of the group or society acting as one has only been experienced in brief glimpses; primarily because the social structures have not been created in a manner that provides a vehicle for the whole to express within. In the coming years, this will change ... it must change for the very survival of mankind on this planet. Further, much that has been promised for the Aquarian Age can only be achieved in this manner. The time has come for this expression. It is written in the stars.
Interesting. The first note from this month commented on breaking the 200 pound barrier. It's exactly three weeks later, today. I'm about 7 pounds lighter and looking forward to crossing the 190 barrier. The rate of change has slowed. But, I guess I should have expected this. For continued progress, the metabolism level needs to change to a higher static value. Increased physical activity is the key to accomplishing this change. Now that I have more energy and feel better, this should be relatively easy to do. It needs to become part of my lifestyle, however, as has my change in eating habits. What's required is a change in exercise habits to accompany the new eating habits. Walking Foofer daily helps, but it may not ultimately be enough.
Along with the physical energy changes, I also need to work on emotional, mental, and spiritual energy changes. I've already started to sense some of these. This needs to continue. With greater control over these other energies as well, the wizard in me can come out and do its magic in the world. For, reality creation is literally magic, when the individual is operating as spirit enfleshed. Manifestation becomes child's play. The more difficult part is tuning into the Plan so that one's manifestations transcend the limited concerns of the ego. This also takes one out of the realm in which karma rules.
I ought to take advantage of the opportunity tonight and lay out a plan for chapter 2 of "Beyond Imagination". Actually, the chapters don't have to be completed in order. It may be more productive to review the initial chapter outlines and choose the one that intuitively strikes me as being most in need of expression at this time. In fact, I may even want to begin writing to take advantage of the special vibrations today. It should be easy to go into a light trance and just allow the stuff to flow out. I've done the research. Also, I've allowed my mind to work on the appropriate order and connections for many years. It is time to allow it to come out, trusting that the expression will be perfect for communicating the message. Right now, Saturday is open. I'd like to write at least one chapter, finish the Satya Sai Baba book, and start one of the Yoga books before the weekend is finished. I also need to spend some quality time with Foofer. Now that she's alone, she really needs our attention -- especially my attention.
There is no better way to open the channel than through practice. To be a writer, you must write. There is no other way. It also helps to read, especially in your case, since you get so much of your material through that avenue. This enriches your own thoughts and ideas, providing the raw material that you can express anew -- creatively in your own unique style. Your special talents give you an ability that is truly one-in-a- million, one that many will find refreshing. You can provide a holistic framework that allows pieces to fit together in ways that others have not considered before. Yes, your flash of intuition was right ... much of your NPT work has served to exercise these very parts of your mind. For that reason, it was extremely valuable, independently of whether the actual content of your NPT documents ever get used and implemented. Your task is to do the work, without concern of what happens to it once it is completed. You are not to be concerned with consequences, for those are dependent on what others do with your ideas -- it is not something over which you have any power to control. Worry not about it. You have only to do your best at the tasks that you personally are given. Beware of taking on the tasks of others. For in taking on their tasks, you also assume responsibilities that are not rightly yours. It is not for you to relieve them of their burdens, for through such burdens they are learning the lessons that are appropriate for their development. Trust your intuition to reveal to you that which is yours to do. Then, do your works joyously in Love and Light, knowing they will be accomplished in a manner that is perfect for the time and in accord with the Plan. Trust, trust, trust. Operate from the "I Know" awareness that is your highest natural state. Don't be concerned with outcomes. Go with the flow and all will come out right, for "All That Is" is guiding the ultimate manifestation.
It is not for you to be concerned with the details. They will be taken care of by others in the hierarchy. It is for you to express the grand themes in a manner that can be brought down to earth. Do what is fun, and express that which excites you most, that which moves your spirit to your very core. You know of what we speak. You know of the things that send shivers down your spine. At these times, you are most in synchronization with the "I AM" that is the true reality of "All That Is". Out of such states, your expression is most genuine ... allowing Truth to be revealed with the least amount of distortion. Don't worry where it comes from. Just allow it to flow, and then find the way to live your life in a manner that best demonstrates that truth in physical form. Such is all that is asked of you.
Believe with all your Heart and soul, that which is expressed through you. Then act fully in accord with your beliefs. Be the living demonstration of truth-in-action, of spirit-in-flesh. Such is how you will fulfill your destiny as the Wayshower ... one who shows the New Way of being. Such is why you took the name of Wayne. Also, the way is of the Heart; appropriate for one who would choose to be called "Hartman". OK, the spelling's a bit off, but it is the sound that matters. For the Word is in the sound. It would serve you well to meditate more. You will find that it assists in opening the channel. A quick five minutes is more than enough to get things flowing. OM is good for you, as is HU. The "shring" from TM requires a bit longer to have its effects, but these would be most beneficial to you as well, especially in increments of at least 15 minutes. Make the time. Your increased productivity and quality of output will more than make up for the time expended. Prioritize your activities so that the spiritual takes precedence, but not to the detriment of the vessel. Treat it as the temple of spirit that it was meant to be. So be it. Such is our instruction for you this day. Thank you for this opportunity to come through. Until we meet again, Aslan.
P.S. It's about time you wore our ring again. We urge you to wear it often, for it holds the vortex that allows us to come through. Consider it like an antenna, able to tune into the energy that we are. This "we" includes the "I" that is most familiar to you. We could not express ourselves in this manner were we not One. Contemplate on that for awhile.
23 Jul 93
Well, I didn't have time to lay out a particular chapter or start writing yesterday, however I did read everything that I'd done so far and reacquaint myself with the expanded outlines for chapters 2-11 that I generated last year. It was very refreshing to get back into the state of mind that I was in when I started writing the book. Overall, I think the chapter titles and outlines are right on. Further, I understand why I needed the events of the past year to be prepared to write these chapters. There were some very important pieces missing in my understanding that have only come into place during the past few months. Literally, I was not ready. While parts of the book will flow from others around me, it is my understanding and knowingness that will allow it to come through. Without this, there would have been major flaws. Further, my body was not in a state to facilitate delivery. It had not been wired for the right frequencies -- this was only completed in the past month. Further, it did not have the energy for the task. This too has only been remedied in the past month or so.
24 Jul 93
Took a long bath late last night and started reading the Raja Yoga book by Vivekananda. It's outstanding, very well-written and easy to understand. Further, it's right on the mark for what I need to know at this time. It's simply amazing how this happens ... but, it happens so often that I take it for granted. Whatever information I most need to learn shows up to my doorstep, so to speak. Somehow, it is attracted into my life. Usually, this is through books, and an intuitive sensing of what books I need to read. Rarely has any of the material that has been most important to my growth and understanding been recommended by anyone in person. For the most part, I am the first person I know that reads these books. Reading is clearly one of the most pleasurable activities in my life. My natural realm is ideas ... it is where I am most comfortable, and most at home. It is one of my primary sources of information, one that I know I can count on to bring me exactly what I need.
I'm looking forward to getting on with a new life in Colorado. The commuting will be a bit difficult for awhile ... but, at least, it will be a different kind of commuting. Also, I can read or sleep on the plane flights, and the frequent flier mileage can reduce Gini's travel costs. Further, my sense is that it will not be for long. I give it about six months, after which I expect to have worked out several alternative means for generating income that are more directly aligned with fulfilling my purpose. There is much to do. I cannot afford to waste time on a particular means of providing an income that is not in line with my mission here.
I need to pay more attention to my state of consciousness and overall state of beingness. There are times when I am in the groove and know it. At these times, I need to sit down and write ... allowing the ideas to flow freely thorough the channel. It was an interesting evening/morning. I had some very vivid, lucid dreams -- in full color! Also, there was a very deep inner communication taking place. It was an extremely fun state to be in, and I fully enjoyed it for over five hours. On awakening, I felt refreshed and energized. However, my state of mind feels a bit sluggish. I'll take a few hours off to run some errands, and get back to the writing when my mental state is more attuned.
Star Trek was outstanding tonight. You have to like Picard ... he's much better than Kirk ever was. It helps that the episodes are much more realistic given the technology improvements that occurred in the 20 years between when the original Star Trek was done in the mid-60's until the Star Trek: The Next Generation came out.
25 Jul 93
Well, I didn't find time to do any writing on my book this weekend. I did decide on how to approach the writing, however. The best approach is not to do it chapter by chapter, but to expand those parts of the outlines for any of the chapters that I feel attuned to at the moment. It doesn't have to come out sequentially. It is best that I use my intuition to decide what parts to attack at what times. Further, it is important that I allow myself to be in the flow as I write. My full attention needs to be involved with expressing the particular message that is coming forth, trusting that the organization is happening behind the scenes. The only part that truly needs to be conscious is the actual typing and translation of the ideas into words. Much that I am bringing through is a pattern that I am already connected with. I do not know how much of a part I had in creating the pattern originally, but, it comes from my soul group. I specifically chose my current form to provide the vehicle for birthing this pattern through physical consciousness into words ... expressing the key ideas that in turn can manifest completely new physical forms and organizations. There are many to help me in the spiritual realm. Further, there are many in physical form who will be gathered around me to carry out the details of manifestation of this new reality in accord with the Plan. Once again, my focus is on bringing forth the Vision, including the practical techniques and ideas for manifesting that Vision in physical form on this planet at this time. There is much to do and so little time to do it. Focus is essential. Diversions must be minimized. The techniques from Vivekananda's books will be very helpful in providing the means for maintaining the focus, and for increasing the connection to spirit and the quantity of energy that can be channeled into the world.
26 Jul 93
I'm getting my head into a better place. Overall, all that I truly need I can find within myself. The rest is gravy, so to speak. I'm still feeling great overall. My body is in much better shape than it's been in for a long time.
I'm also starting to enjoy my walks with Foofer. It is no longer a chore that I have to do, rather a pleasurable experience that I can enjoy even more because of intense pleasure that she gets out of it. She just loves to go ... anywhere, anytime. Yesterday, rather than push her, I let her go at her own pace, stopping to sniff as long as she wanted, whenever she wanted. There is no hurry or rush. This is her special time, and this is the best way that I can make it quality time for her. During our walks, she is the most important being on the planet -- I am there to learn what I can from the way she experiences the world.
Interesting. This same method could apply to the way I interact with Gini as well. I complain to myself that she doesn't expend the time or effort to understand me, yet, I haven't done this for her either. I don't know what and how she thinks. I have some sort of unconscious model built up of my interaction with her and observation of her behavior, but I don't really understand how she works any better than she understands me. Very interesting, this mirror effect. Others are in our life to mirror our behavior and understanding (or lack thereof) back to us. Further, they do this very well. Hmm, I'll have to think about that for awhile. It's definitely a challenge. But then, we are only given such challenges because of what they have to teach us. Where the going is easy, the learning is relatively slow. It is the challenges that provide the opportunities for the larger breakthroughs in our lives. And, they are only made as tough as they need to be to allow the learning to occur efficiently and effectively.
Given this perspective, what gifts/lessons does the current challenge of my NPT work bring unto me? Why have I put myself in this place, under these conditions? For I sense that once this is known, I will be free to change it in a multitude of ways. So many paths lie before me, once I get beyond this current wall. Happiness eludes me because I have not found its source inside me independent of the movie of circumstance that I am entwined with. It should matter not what happens in the play ... for it is what is inside that is important. Only what is inside is truly real. All else is but appearance, and worse yet, my own interpretation of that appearance. Enough of this mirage. My life must be centered on that which is real, on Truth, Love, and Light. Nothing else is important. Intense focus is required for the Work to be done that the Plan may be made manifest. Each day my awareness of my unique part in the Plan grows greatly. To manifest Vision ... such is my task, my sole purpose for being. All else pales in comparison. The poet in me seeks to express what it sees ... the incomparable beauty, the inexpressible joyousness, the unfathomable majesty of it all, All That Is; and of the "I AM" of which we are all a part. To sing the song of my life, that all may hear ... and further to incite others to express their own songs. The peace and harmony that results will last for a millennium, and the age will be more golden, more glorious than anything that came before.
Well, what can another few minutes hurt. When one is in the flow, one must take advantage of the state ... for the energies that can be expressed are unique to that timing and special set of circumstances. As a guideline for life, this is most appropriate. Manage your states in a manner that allows you to experience expanded consciousness as much as you can. But, when you reach ecstatic states allow them their full course. Come from that special state of "Whom That You Are" for as long as you can muster, allowing your creativity to flow forth in unlimited and ceaseless expression. For, at such times you will indeed do your best works -- and not from any personal gain, but in service to the Plan. Best, in all terms that truly count. You are accountable only to yourself, your Self, and All That Is. First and foremost, you must be true to this.
27 Jul 93
I'm in much better shape than I've been in for many years. It's good to get out and walk. Monterey is beautiful! I didn't see any sea otters, but there were several seals on rocks and a few swimming in the water close to shore. We've been in Monterey so long that I was starting to take all this for granted. It's great to get out and observe it again, especially with an attitude of gratitude and appreciation for being able to live in such a wonderful place.
I'm looking forward to living in Colorado. More and more, it appears that this will manifest soon. Once Gini starts actively working something, things tend to actualize quickly. It will be a major life change again; but, it is time for such a change. I've been commuting for over four years. When I started, I would not have bet this would go on for so long. It's been rough going ever since we got here, especially financially. Yet, I've done a lot of things during that time. I've learned a hell of a lot about many different things. Further, it's passed by more quickly than any other four years of my life. Golfing each week is a key activity that keeps me balanced and sane ... able to enjoy life and deal with each day, one day at a time. It's a wonderful mood enhancer and spiritual exercise. The increased spiritual focus over the past year, especially over the past several months, has also kept me involved with the ideas and issues that matter most.
It's becoming harder and harder to stay focused on my Loral work. I used to do this much better. However, the overall level of productivity and the quality of the work is still outstanding. The spiritual work and the writing provide refreshing breaks that allow me to use the remaining time more effectively. Overall, they cut down on the boredom and the down times -- allowing me to remain sharp and focused for more of the work day. Unfortunately, there is a feedback loop in operation as well. The more of these breaks that I take, the more I need to take in the future. For, once I get actively involved in regular spiritual pursuits, the overwhelming desire is to allow them to consume both my consciousness and my time. For the highest good, that is exactly as it needs to be. But, this highest good is not necessarily consistent with maximizing my output of the work for which I'm being paid. Then again, maybe there's a better way to look at this. The bottom line is net output in accord with the Plan. It benefits all if I am allowed to do the works I came to do, without regard to when they are done. Obviously, I am doing my job well, better than most, if not all of my peers. Loral and the Air Force are getting full value for their money. The question becomes "what are they buying". Is it so many hours of my time each day? Or, is it the products of applying my unique abilities to their problems? That's an interesting way of looking at things. Am I paid for the process, or for the results? If for the results, then the true measure is what these results are worth in comparison to what the get from others for an equivalent "level of effort".
Still feeling great overall. However, I could use some additional sleep. 5-6 hours a night just doesn't cut it ... even if I sneak another half hour or so during the part of the commute when Art is driving. Looked through the Estes Park stuff. The highest priced house listed was only $175K. The Meadowdale (38/11) Ranch Conference Center on 39 acres looked like the best deal in the package in terms of bang for the buck. It's a bit steep at $895K, but that includes several buildings with a whole lot of square footage overall. [full commercial kitchen/dining 1937, ranch house 2081, managers unit/workshop/office/motel 4857, and main dormitory with 18 rooms w/private baths and a two story meeting room 6672 ... that's over 15,500 total sq ft] Gini said she thinks that a lot of the place is set up for kids. This could be so if it was run as a church camp for youths. However, it may be something that could easily be fixed or converted. The name of the place indicates that it may have originally set up as more of a conference center for adults. Hmm. I wonder if we could keep the tax exempt status if we run it as a New Age Church of some type with a strong metaphysical focus. The priest in me is getting very excited. I wouldn't mind teaching kids as well as adults! This could be an ideal setup that would easily support a whole group of people, even if we only operated the conference center part of the year. We definitely need to check this out. It sure sounds a lot better than just a house. The cost is just over four times that of a basic 2000 sq ft house on a half acre, but were talking about nearly 8 times 2000 sq ft on nearly 40 acres, and just off the highway to boot. Now that I think about it, I believe we passed by this place on our way to Estes Park the first time. If I remember right, it was on the left side of the highway situated on a fairly flat meadow several miles before we got to the eastern side of the lake and town. This was before the view opened up to the high peaks, but not more than 5 or 6 miles out of town as I recall.
It's exciting just to think about. This could be the perfect place with plenty of space to do all the kinds of things we really want to do. It's definitely a strong possibility. I'm sure that if it is indeed the right place for my work to be done in accord with the Plan, the circumstances will work out appropriately to make it ours. So be it!
28 Jul 93
Interesting night. I didn't get much sleep again ... in fact, I was awake most of the night. But, I was jazzed. Still am. I remember calculating the numbers for things in my head and coming up with some interesting findings.
Look at all the master numbers that show up in these names! 11's are all over the place. Also, this breakout for beyond imagination reveals why it is the perfect name for my work in accord with the plan. It combines both the 11 and 22 vibrations that are key for me. The combination yields 33, the Christ vibration ... which is prominent in Angela's chart. Meadowdale Ranch Conference Center fits right into this as well. It could be the perfect setting for my school.
Oh, how my Loral work pales compared to the spiritual/metaphysical work that I came to do. There is no comparison in terms of enthusiasm, excitement level, and satisfaction. Overall, I'm good at everything I do, but, some things are more in tune with my nature, interests, and abilities than others. Knowing that my dream of establishing a school is so close to being made manifest ... so close that I can actually see and feel it within me. Even the money appears well within reach, though I know not how it will be specifically made available. Further, six months should be more than enough to get the new lifestyle going. No longer will I have to toil at the bidding of any company. I will be free to do God's work in accord with the Plan as my soul so strongly bids me to do. Already, I know that I will thoroughly love it. There is no doubt about it. Never again will I be forced to sell my services, and channel my abilities toward the ends or objectives set by others. I am the Master of my Fate, the Maker of my Reality. I'm free to express the "I AM" that I truly am. So be it!
Manifest the dream ... manifest the Dream ... manifest the dream. Make it so! Such is the incessant prompting from that small voice within me. Actually, it's not so small of a voice ... in fact, it has become quite loud over the past several years, and especially so over the past few months. It is the motivator that keeps me writing. The flow must come forth and be expressed, that the ideas conveyed may take root and create the opportunity for their manifestation. For, in the days to come, these are the very structures that will take us through the rough times into the comparative bliss that the new age promises. These are the structures of which I am writing about in beyond imagination, the critical foundations that allow the castles in the air to be brought down to Earth.
The time has finally come. The dawn is very near. And the day that dawns will be glorious indeed, with a sunrise that is simply beyond compare. I have made it to my appointed date with destiny, and am now ready to accomplish the work necessary to unfold that destiny for the highest good of all concerned, in accord with the Plan. What more could one ask for, than to be given the chance to make the world a better place for all by actualizing the mechanisms for allowing spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh. Such is my chosen mission. I would not have come to this planet except that this was so. All that I am tells me this is true. At least, it is my Truth. It is not for me to impose my truth upon others. They are to be true to their own visions, though the Vision I bring forth will help them to find their own. It could not be any other way. Free choice reigns in this dimension; it must be allowed to run its course. The river of life could not flow so freely otherwise.
Such is my knowingness and awareness. I must be what I must be.
29 Jul 93
I'm still extremely excited. The dream is about to come alive. I know it! This is why I came, this is what I have prepared myself for, all of my life. Beyond Imagination will be a reality soon, very soon indeed. So let it be written, so let it be done! I am already much happier just thinking about what will be. I can live my live as I truly desire it to be lived, fully aligned with spirit ... holistically expressing all that I am ... mind, body, and soul. I've dreamed about this for so long. It is finally time to make it so. My long wait is finally over. I've been on a holding pattern for far too long. Yet, on the other hand, it was only as long as was necessary for the preparation to be completed, and for the time for manifestation to arrive. What a wonderful time to be alive, to have a part to play in one of the greatest spiritual transformations to occur on the planet, maybe in the universe. The awesomeness of it all sends a shiver of reverence down my spine. Destiny is finally at hand. I will indeed be able to do the works for which I came.
30 Jul 93
I'm still excited about getting to Colorado, and finding the right place for setting up a small community and school. I know now that there are definitely places in Colorado that are perfect for this, and at prices that are affordable. The one near Estes Park looks ideal, but, I'm sure that there are others if this doesn't turn out to be the one.
Overall, I feel happier than I have in a very long time ... extremely excited about the possibilities that lie ahead in the immediate future. I am in the process of designing my life, and then making it so (actually, we are in the process) -- reality creation 101 in progress. The true journey has finally begun. What lies ahead will truly be beyond imagination. So be it!
E-mail: beyond@redshift.com
Copyright © 1996, Wayne Hartman, Revised -- (25 Mar 96)